I Didn't Get To Choose My Friends - Pokemon Platinum Random Team Run

[SpammyV]

04: Nobody Calls Him That

We begin passing from night into day, passing from Jubilife to Route 203.

We stop literally two tiles after that.

Well, one of us has a full team now.

So no pressure, but I’m sure by this point the game isn’t going to let me lose rival battles, so now is the time of decision.

Cool beans, she wasn’t using that anyway.

This part seems pretty over yet.

A level 7 Starly just isn’t much of a threat.

That will change.

C’mon Mina. That was just a fluke. RNG had the AI use Withdraw six times. Sheep are better than turtles.

NOPE IT TURNS OUT IT WILL JUST USE WITHDRAW SIX TIMES AGAIN.

But now we’re not stuck bashing our heads against this turtle.

Can’t withdraw your brain from being messed with by Dogu!

“ …I won?”

And so Barry runs off, leaving our hero in confused elation over having won. Maybe this Pokemon journey won’t be a trainwreck of failure after all…

The Trainers here all yell what Pokemon they’re using which… I don’t quite understand? It’s not like you can change your leading Pokemon between text box and battle.

…Huh. I guess Gen IV was before they made it so Electric-types can’t be Paralyzed. I’d say that I’m going to keep the tactical considerations of this in mind, but it’s unlikely to come up.

“ Castellia learned WHAT? ”

Oh… kay… so no sudden moves around her and everyone be real gentle.

You did not! I didn’t take a screenshot of this battle and it didn’t sink in until I was going through screenshots, but all she has is a Psyduck with Scratch!

(thanks Bulbapedia)

You did not beat the Rock-type Gym, LIAR MADELINE!

The cave was not indicated on the map. The Hiker right here gives you Rock Smash, establishing this game as being daring and bucking tradition by not having you get Cut first.

Why are you trying to Cut things in a cave, anyway?

Mud-Slap! For when Dogu’s just being too effective with Confusion.

Oreburgh City: Coal minin’ town.

It’s weird that you start with a coal-mining town and the last Gym (spoiler) is in a solar-powered town. At least it’s not that coal mine that’s on fire.

(No massive underground fires making a town look like Silent Hill occur in this game so don’t get your hopes up)

So did Barry already beat the Gym? Or is he somehow going to win between Roark plot-teleporting back and me arriving, while giving Roark enough time to heal his team or get new Pokemon?

Spamigo stood in front of the sign, staring in puzzlement at the quote. He glanced down at Wilhelmina, who didn’t seem to understand it any better. He tried- quietly- to say it aloud, thinking that maybe it would make more sense that way, but it still sounded bad. In the end the only conclusion he could reach was “No one calls him that.”

Facts.

Well it makes more sense than naming your Psyduck Green.

Okay hold on.

I’ve circled Oreburgh on this map. Y’all’ll note that we are nowhere near the ocean.

HOW BIG IS THIS MINE?!

HOW FAR DOWN DO THESE STAIRS GO?!

Sid that… that’s not really better.

I guess this is why no one goes on and on about how much of an early game powerhouse Seviper is.

There’s Roark, and that big block behind him is coal, apparently. The entire thing, a hunk of coal the size of a small house. He shows you how to Rock Smash and then runs off.

Like so.

Now that the Gym’s going to be open it’ll be time to solve this mystery!

NEXT TIME: THE STUDY BUDDIES IN “THE MYSTERY OF THE NICKNAME”

But can the world be ready for the truth?

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 05: OFF TO A ROCKY START.
BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD BATTLE.
THIS DOESN’T GO WELL.

Welcome back! There’s no escaping Oreburgh city to the north. Our destiny lies to the gym. But first, we train!

Also do you have to pronounce the h in Oreburgh? Just stick a real phlegmy CHHH onto the end of the name?

STAB moves start rolling in for our team, and- Wait, Psybeam?

Thundershock and Water Gun both have 40 power. Psybeam has 65. Dogu don’t just jump up the tech tree like that.

Howdy, Requisite Gym Advice NPC!

Well I can hit… one of those weaknesses.

I, Future SpammyV, writing this update, know that it won’t be easy.

Honestly though even if you took Chimchar, there are enough Pokemon to hit Roark’s weaknesses you can catch before this. Machops, Budews, the like. I won’t way it’ll all be easy but it’s doable.

I notice all these things Gamefreak does to make the Gyms surmountable when I can’t use them.

How many first Gyms let you just bypass all the Trainers? I mean, you won’t, because you want experience, but they let you. Is it all of them?

And Roark awaits us on the highest pedestal in the Gym.

He says that like there’s a bunch of First Gyms that are Rock-type.

As they both reached for their first Pokeballs, Spamigo paused. He broke the tension with the question first and foremost on his mind: “Does… Does anyone call you Roark the Rock?”

Roark froze, stalling for time by brushing an invisble fleck of dust off of the Pokeball. “Well it’s on my business cards.”

Starting with Dogu here figuring that none of his stuff will have good Special Defense because Rock-Types never do.

This Geodude didn’t… but it got the Stealth Rock off.

At least before Generation VIII, Cranidos still had the highest base Attack of unevolved Pokemon. It evolves into the thing with the highest base Attack you can get without transforming or being a Legendary.

Dogu is basically a pot that sat around in some ancient ruins until it could levitate things with its mind.

We… we can patch you up, buddy.

Stealth Rock doesn’t do too much to Reina, because its damage is based on the type chart, but you see the trap by now.

If you don’t resist Rock, Stealth Rock just might deal enough that the Cranidos one-shots whoever you sent out.

Also it’s highly probably Roark uses a Potion here but I don’t have a lot of good options left… and Reina could crit.

…She didn’t.

But if I have ONE Pokemon on my team at all who can take a Physical hit, it’s going to be Castellia!

Also note how much more Stealth Rock took out of her.

I still don’t know where her biting mouthparts are but they did enough.

Well that’s not as ludicrous as Selfdestruct. But anyway, Cranidos was a nightmare but now that we’ve beaten Roark-

OH HELL HE HAS AN ONIX TOO!?

Stop panicking. STOP PANICKING! Let’s just think. Mina… could only use Tackle here. Anomalo… only has Scratch.

Sid…

SID FINALLY LEARNED A GOOD MOVE WHILE WE WERE GRINDING BEFORE! WE HAVE A CHANCE!

YES!

TAKE YOUR STAT MONSTER BACK TO THE CRETACEOUS!

You may be many adjectives but I would not use weak among them.

Incidentally I think I picked up all the flakes from Castellia’s pinecone, you didn’t see any others go flying off did you?

Now that we have the Coal Badge we can use Rock Smash.

How fitting.

I’m never going to use this.

Oh… Joy.

NEXT TIME: ROWAN GETS VICIOUS AND DAWN GETS DISAPPOINTED!

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 06: A Bunch of Uniformed Mooks Doesn’t Mean Anything

We begin with a Barry impact.

It’s funny how all these plot events seem timed so that Barry passes by them before we arrive.

There’s Brick Break in the cave, but it requires Rock Smash AND a bike or Surf to get. So, it’s not gettable at this time.

Spamigo and Looker made eye contact, and Spamigo felt the instant pang of regret shoot down his spine. He took a half-step back, but it was too late now. He couldn’t pretend to have not seen Looker now, the foreigner was already rushing over.

I have no need for any wi-fi features that may or may not work. Not bothering.

Well, if Looker says that it’s safe, then it must be safe.

Wait, people threatening Rowan? BUT LOOKER SAID THE CITY WAS SAFE!

Rowan’s not going to pay attention to weirdoes with cyan hair.

Aww, shucks.

it’s time

Seems like these grunts should just crumple up like a stepped-on aluminum can after that barrage of insults.

I imagine the most nasally sound possible for that “Eeeeeh!”

“Oh…” Dawn said after she glanced down at Anomalo. The disappointment wasn’t evident except for a slight furrowing of her brow, but her tone conveyed it plenty.

Spamigo sounded as clueless as he felt. “What? Anomalo’s been sort of on the bench lately I thought he needed some exercise.”

“I just thought it’d be special if we were both using our fir- You know what, nevermind.”

“What?”

" Nevermind ."

I love Fake Out. My Hariyama in my Emerald run wound up keeping Fake Out for the entire game because he had the stats to make it hurt beyond what the 40 power would imply. On a Glameow it’s not nearly as much of an issue.

Dawn’s Chimchar take the brunt of the aggro while Anomalo uses his wittle claws to get some damage in.

A lucky Burn takes out the Glameow.

And the Stunky doesn’t last long on its own after that.

He keeps saying benevolent but I keep hearing it in the voice of the alien bad guy from that one terrible Doctor Who episode that looks like a low-rent Jabba the Hutt with fake feathers glued to him and an extremely coarse bad-guy deep voice trying to talk about his “benevolence” like it’s a codeword for blowing up a planet.

You heard me.

Rowan harrumphed, “I’m a scientist, not a wizard! I’ll not sully my doctrine with this mystical mumbo-jumbo.”

Doesn’t Pokemon evolution take like 30 seconds? How would you even harness that?

…I’m gonna need to see a citation on that stat.

Dawn clenched her hand into a fist and shot a narrow glare over her shoulder in the direction those two Grunts had run off. Rowan had to hurriedly break the tension before she stormed off on her own.

Rowan’s extremely chill. “Hey, here’s a Pokemon to start your journey with. If you could fill this Pokedex for me, I’d appreciate it. But I mean you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I’m not the boss of you. See ya.”

It’s either that or he’s trying to guilt-trip the player into completing the Pokedex.

Route 204: The one with the cave. Not that cave, the other cave. No, not that one either.

I went down the main path, leaving that item tempting me. It could be anything! Is the detour worth it?

No.

No… you won’t.

Although Spamigo had always tried to be honest, he could suddenly see that being too honest in this case would simply crush poor Tyler even further. And he couldn’t bring himself to be so cruel.

Spamgio paused and noticed that in training, Bidoof teeth could sometimes inflict damage on Anomalo’s mineralized exoskeleton. And if they could do that much against a mineralized exoskeleton, surely they could do more against minerals!

So say hello to Scarfy, our Designated Rock Smash Haver.

I choose to imagine she’s just wedging her front teeth in there and ratcheting up the pressure until the rock splits.

Rock Tomb’s got 50 power, 80% accuracy, and a 100% chance to lower the target’s Speed by one stage on hit. It’s not a great move, but here’s what hadn’t sunk in when I took this screenshot: Anomalo’s level-up movelist is DIRE. As in, the only Physical Rock move he gets is the Rock-Type Doubleslap. AT LEVEL 49.

As soon as I realize how he’s not going to get a Rock move I windmill slam the TM into his forehead or have him copy that floppy or serve up a crispy TM with a choice of dipping sauce (ranch, bleu cheese, honey mustard, cream gravy, or the house sauce that’s always just a thickened thousand island dressing) or however you teach TMs.

Buddy this trip’ll be hard enough even with a diverse team.

It’s almost insulting how small the cave seems from this angle.

Look, I believe in Anomalo and Castellia.

It’s just gonna take a lot of levels and TMs.

Somehow, maybe through localized air currents, the scent of flowers only hits you in the face like a fluffy down pillow after you pass under the big arch.

I can’t figure out what this town’s theme is.

It’s subtle.

Surely nothing we will never be involved with.

I’ve got Bulk and Skull’s theme playing in my head while I read these lines. Heck, I might as well put on the ten hour version of their theme whenever I’m dealing with Galactic Grunts.

Walking away from the Galactic Grunts and letting them continue their villainy seemed to leave Wilhelmina annoyed, and not particularly listening to Spamigo’s excuses while she trotted beside him.

With all of that, Spamigo didn’t need to look to know that Wilhelmina was glaring at him now. With a sigh, he pulled his cap down a little tigther around his brow and said, “Alright. We’re getting involved.”

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 07: THE BATTLE OF THE WINDWORKS

The Team Galactic Commander known as Mars had one question: “How did you get in here?!”

At first Spamigo started to point in the direction of the door, only for Mars to bark “I got that part! That door was supposed to be locked!”

“Oh. Well about that…” Spamigo’s story began.

“First there was the little girl who wanted to see her dad again and guilt-tripped me into coming here.”

“And there was a guy guarding the door, too.”

“He was really annoying.”

“And he locked himself inside after I beat him fair and square, but…”

“He also just told me who had the other key, so. I didn’t need to search.”

Mars slowly turned a glare at that Grunt, who chuckled nervously and tried to back himself further into the corner.

“They were also right where he said they were, so I didn’t have to look around a bunch.”

“The first one wasn’t a challenge.”

“The other one was a real jerk who thought waiting after the other grunt was beaten was going to make his job easier.”

“That sounds like Dave,” Mars huffed. “Nobody likes Dave.”

“He stole my parking spot!” one of the beaten Grunts yelled out.

“Well… Dave wasn’t hard to beat either.”

“Also he dropped the key to the door, too.”

“So I unlocked the door…”

“Your guard ran off to warn you…”

“I beat the other Grunts who were guarding this place…”

“So…” Spamigo’s throat suddenly felt dry. He thought he had something prepared for this moment to sound tough and intimidating, but between the rambling story and Mars’ glare he couldn’t find the words, and just said, “You should get out. I mean, I beat all your grunts.”

“And?” That fact didn’t seem to daunt Mars in the slightest as she pulled a Pokeball from her belt. “Those were grunts, and you’re dealing with me, Mars, one of Team Galactic’s four Commanders. Let me show you just how far we are above the common Grunts, kid. Get ready to run out of here crying, brat!”

Now, you are perfectly free to go ahead and set in your mind as background music the Galactic Commander theme from this very game. However, if you would be interested in alternative offerings, might I suggest GET THEM from the Yakuza 0 soundtrack?

I thought I was going to… your Zubat still has some health bar left?

…Dogu please don’t let this be a pattern.

I’d like to image the Zubat tried to chomp down on Reina and only realized she wasn’t going down like a bag of pottery shards when her little snoot got shoved against its temple. Throw in some one-liner from her like “This may sting a bit.”

Purugly, of course, does not evolve until level 38. After reviewing the facts I have come to endorse the Fat Glameow Theory. Teach the controversy!

It’s fat enough to make Fake Out hurt.

Mina is down to FOUR HITPOINTS before she can even take an action. Her Static kicking in might be the most good she can do.

…It was the most good she can do. I switched to Anomalo here before Mina got knocked out.

Anomalo sees a LOT of lucky Paralysis rolls, but that Purugly’s still scratching him up good and it had an Oran berry to boost its health further. His exoskeleton just can’t stand up to all of that.

But since someone FINALLY decided to learn a STAB move, I have something that could be called an ace in the hole.

Two Bites and that cat finally goes down to take a nap.

…Mina might just keep this for the entire game.

An uppity brat with a dangerous snake.

Charon (the white-haired scientist guy) speaks up but man, screw Charon. His only contribution is to be a condescending jerk to Mars and, spoiler, you never battle Charon in this game. So you have to listen to this jerk going on about how brilliant he is and there’s no chance to beat him. Smug NPCs that you can’t put down are the worst. Looking at you, Miranda.

Stuff like this. Mars hates his guts and honestly I don’t blame her.

But we reunited this little girl with her dad and also Drifloon will start appearing again but I’m not catching one because I won’t be able to use it.

Even though Drifloon/Drifblim are way up there on the list of “Pokemon I’d Like To Use But Haven’t.”

375

“Well, about that…”

Spamigo pondered just how far he could run before Looker came back outside. It wasn’t as though he was being investigated, right? But Looker came running back outside so the line of thought was moot.

He waved Looker away as the so-called InterPol agent went running off again. But his smile froze and turned hollow when he realized that Eterna was where the next Gym was too.

[SpammyV]

Since I missed my weekly update schedule, I would like to apologize. I’ve been swamped for long enough to run my backlog down. I have no intention of abandoning this thread. I just need to make more time to write. Thank you for reading and being patient.

[SpammyV]

Update 08: Walk On The Wooded Side

Welcome to scenic Eterna Forest! I always want to call it Eternia. I never even watched a He-Man in my life but I read it as Eternia for years.

In Eterna Forest is Cheryl, the first of the game’s NPC partners. You get a partner with a single Pokemon, all battles are double battles, your team gets fully healed after each battle because Cheryl has a Chansey, one of the designated nurse Pokemon.

Cheryl is afraid of Team Galactic, even though Zubats and Purrloins aren’t that much of a threat.

One thing that passed completely over my head until I was fact-checking myself was that time flowing funky in Eterna means that time-of-day evolutions don’t work.

It’s just a shame you probably won’t be coming back here for anything while you’re trying to evolve an Umbreon.

Anyway, it’s an Early Forest in a Pokemon Game. It’s full of Bugs, people talking about Bugs, people battling with Bugs, and random early Pokemon that seem forest-creature-y.

Here’s basically all you need to know about Cheryl’s Chansey:

One lone Buneary huddled and shivered, surrounded by craters. All the leaves had been blasted off a nearby bush, and there were missing chunks from the trees where stray Egg Bombs had hit. The Chansey screwed its face into an intense look of concentration as it readied another throw.

Spamigo just looked over to Cheryl. “You don’t say about that battling thing.”

Oh, also!

BEHOLD HER DEADLY

BIPEDAL WALKING

And that’s all you need to know about the forest.

I mean.

There weren’t any Team Galactic members in the forest.

Also I think Chansey could face-tank everything.

But we get a hold item out of it!

I don’t even remember what the Soothe Bell does.

Of course, now that we’re out of the forest there’s Galactic Grunts around. They just don’t like to pick random fights on city streets? Maybe Sinnoh’s got some Big Brother CCTV going on or something.

I dunno. I’m starting to think they might be evil? Maybe they just have very forceful personalities and stealing Pokemon and kidnapping people are just how things worked in their family growing up.

I’ve been working on a theory that-

Or Barry’s here and we’re roped into the plot.

Oh hey it’s that guy who’s not relevant to the plot in any way!

Weird how this game wants to make him a thing.

Please, I need all the help I can get with this team at this stage in the game.

And that’s exactly why I’m soon going to teach an 80% accurate TM to one of my Pokemon.

But I’ve also been thinking-

“Oh, it’s… It’s Spamigo.” Something about the blonde lady’s stare unnerved Spamigo. He had the feeling that no Galactic Grunts had ever tried to shake her down for her Pokemon.

She cocked her head a few degrees to the side. “Is there something wrong with your name?”

“No, just… It sounds like… Nevermind.”

She asks, even though this encounter happens when you’re walking away from the hill with the mysterious Pokemon statue (no spoilers about what it is please).

(it wasn’t on any box arts for previous games)

Even beneath her glare Spamigo couldn’t let out an internal scoff. Legendary Pokemon were legends, and if there was no Pokemon in the lake there was no weird spike monster with metal bits sticking out of it.

Look they were a little daring making the first HM not Cut. They’re not that daring. It’s second instead.

It wasn’t until she’d gone around the corner and Spamigo had finished with the polite waving that he realized he hadn’t mentioned Rowan at all. How many assistants had the professor had?

Any more interruptions? Bad guys in a Final Fantasy airship? Radio broadcasts? Wormholes? No? Alright.

…Well, I can’t figure out what they’re going for. Let’s ask this person in front of the doors!

“…Barry mentioned me?”

“I think so,” the Gym Leader nodded. “It was sort of hard to make out because he didn’t really leave spaces between his words, you know? I think he said something about his amigo following him. And your clay pot is cheating? I wasn’t clear on that.”

Wait.

We didn’t ask her what type she uses.

[SpammyV]

Update 09: I Learned How Every Rose Has Its Thorns When A Rosebush Tried To Mug Me

You know what we haven’t had in a while? TEAM UPDAAAAATE!

Mina’s deadly bipedal walking (seriously wasn’t that one of the Eldora Soul lines in Super Robot Wars T or was I imagining things) gave her a boost to her stats. Thundershock is nice, but it’s an early game move. Can its utility last in these challenging conditions?

Just as a note, Anomalo hasn’t evolved and still has more Attack than Mina has Special Attack. Also just as a note, his moves put that stat to no good use. Also Past Me took these screenshots and then gave him Rock Tomb. Remember: Rock Tomb is 50 power, 80% accuracy, 100% chance to lower the victim’s Speed.

In these early stages, Castellia’s Attack has not been outstripped by everyone else’s yet. And the tendency for there to be a lot of Physical attacks in the early stages of a Pokemon game means she’s fairly resilient.

Also Selfdestruct is there as the emergency button.

No, Reina does not really need Bubble and Water Gun. I didn’t make her move list! If I made move lists Anomalo wouldn’t only have Scratch still!

Dogu gets Rock Tomb naturally, because nothing is fair in this world except the coin flip. Also he gets Psybeam, which tends to end a lot of battles. As long as he doesn’t take a hit and break again.

With Bite and Poison Tail (Two STAB moves!) and 41 attack Sid has now become the Day Ruiner for anything giving the rest of the team trouble. As it turns out, I didn’t have to drag his Wrap-having tail through the game nearly as long as I did my Dratini in Emerald. Now he’s deadly at both ends!

Now we got something else to do. Namely:

This Gym.

Petition to make Champ-to-be the new dude in terms of being applied everywhere.

My strategy revolves around not those types, but Grass’ other weaknesses.

The Gym is like a clock that doesn’t tell time (unless… the time it shows is the time of your appointment to beat the next Trainer). Beat a Trainer, the hands move. Sunrise, sunset, swiftly flow the beatings.

Let’s!

Gardenia’s team has a weird theme going on. Her Turtwig here has Sunny Day, but I’ve never seen it used. Sunny Day would boost Gardenia’s next Pokemon (a Cherrim. Spoilers), but it’s not THAT huge a boost. It’s like a Sunny Day team created by a kid who has only heard the words “Sunny Day team.”

If I were better at Pokemon games, I would be making a comment about how I cleverly attempt to trick the AI into wasting Potions on something besides the Leader’s ace.

I’m not so this is all dumb luck.

Regardless, this Turtwig just puts up a Reflect, gets healed, and never sets up Sunny Day.

Cherrim’s ability boosts its Attack and Special Defense in sunlight… but Gardenia’s just has Special attacks.

WAIT HOW IS GRASS KNOT SPECIAL IT’S LITERALLY USING A ROOT TO TRIP THE OPPONENT

It can only mostly bring Sid down… and it still doesn’t matter.

I mean, he’s been getting all these good Physical attacks, so…

Turns out it doesn’t really matter what the Turtwig and Cherrim get up to. Tuxedo Mask here is THAT much of an issue.

Yeah, it’s not playing with its attacks.

But they say, when all you have is a weirdly shaped hammer, you learn to make its quirks work for you.

Anything to even the playing field. If I’d been thinking more I would’ve tagged Mina in just to Thunder Wave it, but I was fixated on Grass resisting Electric and her being not useful.

The Speed drop even lets Anomalo get two hits in and crosses over the Berry Threshold.

But, uh. You already saw it did 40 damage in one NORMAL effective hit.

And Dogu can’t one-shot it.

And Castellia can’t finish it off from that point.

At this point I know that Gardenia has a second Potion (because this is actually take… three or four. This Roserade has been a brick wall). In the red means it’ll probably get used.

Of course, if it doesn’t, Roserade 100% takes out Castellia.

But if it does…

The Roserade leaped back into the fray, ready to strike, but was instead puzzled as Castellia rolled over beside it and closed down all the flakes on her pinecone. And why did each one have “FRONT TOWARDS ENEMY” written on them?

Thanks, Castellia.

Forest Badge lets us use Cut. And by us, I mean Scarfy.

Rock/Ground types tend to be weighty so Grass Knot can be disproportionately powerful. I mean, I don’t think anyone on this team can learn it. But, y’know, in theory.

It’s nice that Gardenia’s so encouraging even after losing.

BUT YOU SOUND SARCASTIC, ADVICE GUY.

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 10: KICK DOWN THE DOOR!

Spamigo would have just left the city after getting the badge. It would’ve been simple just to put one foot in front of the other and walk on our, but there was something looming over the town. Something spiky. Something ominous.

Something obviously evil.

So Scarfy gets another tool for her belt!

OH WELL NEVERMIND WRONG ADDRESS HAHAHAHAHA

Since Looker didn’t seem to care, Spamigo cast an aside glance at the receptionist, who thankfully was far too absorbed in a celebrity gossip magazine to notice another Galactic Grunt whipping off their disguise to loudly reveal themselves as an InterPol agent.

“No!” Spamigo replied with sarcasm that was completely missed.

Looker nodded. “Indeed. They are… what is idiom? A few Pokemon short of a full team? A half-empty Potion? A Bicycle wth one wheel? An-”

“Yeah I got it the first time actually.”

Mysterious. Perhaps if we’d found their boss we’d know what Team Galactic’s goals are!

Hmm… suspicious.

Anyway. You go up the stairs. Sometimes there’s Trainers at the bottom. Sometimes there’s Trainers at the top. Almost all of them are bog-standard Galactic Grunts, except for…

This guy. This guy I’m always going to remember.

Scientist Trevon.

Years upon years ago, right after I’d first heard about the Nuzlocke challenge and binged through the Nuzlocke archives, I dug up my favorite DS Pokemon game (Platinum) and popped it in and started playing. It wasn’t so bad! I even ended up getting a Shinx and a Ponyta, which were mainstays of my team pretty much all through my first Diamond run.

And then I get here. A Kadabra that gets fed an X Special. Most of my attacks were Special. I didn’t have anything faster. I wore it down for nothing. My A-lister team got wiped right here and I haven’t had the spirit to do a full Nuzlocke since.

Almost seems ridiculous now, doesn’t it?

I’m sure it is, buddy.

Oh right, the plot.

How can they be evil when they have signs like this around?

The older man just shook his head. “Our poor region. We were all known for our Zubats and Glameows until Galactic came along and stole them!”

“Like I already dealt with Mars?”

“Mars?” Jupiter laid the scoff on extra thick for maximum derision. “Mars is a brat that’s barely above being a Grunt. You’ll see what makes a Commander now!”

For some reason I always underestimate what moves a Zubat’s going to know.

“That’s not a Bite. This is a Bite.”

Want to see something stupid?

I don’t look things up while I’m playing, so I forgot Skuntank was Poison/Dark and would’ve been immune anyway.

Skuntank, of course, does not evolve until level 38. After reviewing the facts I have come to endorse the Fat Stunky Theory. Teach the controversy!

Didn’t apply your debuff in time you walking fart joke!

I’m just going to say that sometimes it doesn’t feel like Paralysis only has a 25% chance of eating a turn.

Also this thing is annoyingly tanky.

It finally batters Mina down.

GRIND ITS SPEED INTO DIRT! I WANT SLOWPOKES TO BE ABLE TO BEAT IT ON THE TRACK!

He’s totally allowed to learn that!

Level 19 and still doesn’t know a Bug move, just wanted to point that out.

“How long does it take to look at a statue?”

“IT TOOK TWO WEEKS JUST TO HIRE A GRUNT THAT COULD READ!”

There was something that ticked familiarly in the back of Spamigo’s mind about looking into the ancient Pokemon but no memories surfaced.

This guy here is the Bicycle Shop owner. You can probably guess where this is going!

But before we can get into RAD RICKSHAW’s shop, we get interrupted again because Eterna’s main export is interruptions.

Getting something in advance set off alarm bells in Spamigo’s mind now that some complicated favor would be incoming. “I… like the team I have now.”

“Listen to me, kid. Take. The. Egg.”

“I’ll take the Egg?”

“So… What’s in the Egg?”

“You’ll see. It’s useful though, I’ll tell you that much.”

(this thing is going straight in the box)

(I DIDN’T RNG ROLL AN EGG)

ANYway, it’s Bicycle in a Pokemon game time! Bind that thing to the quick item button and start rolling around at the speed of sound!

I wish this did work on an emulator. I mostly liked the Underground. Mostly having an infinite source of Shards and Heart Scales behind a light minigame.

NEXT TIME: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE’S NOT CUTE?!

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 11: I Hate This Park And Everyone In It

So that’s like… four squares from Oreburgh? Not that much of a walk.

I think you need to find safer ways to de-energize your Geodude.

I wonder how chilly it gets in Mt. Coronet. I mean Sinnoh is cold (see update 01) and the cave’s got a blue tint over it and blue means cold (see the freezer section) so…

The blue-haired man stared above them at the ceiling of the cave. His gaze was distant, as though it could pierce the solid rock and see to the peak of Mt. Coronet from where they stood. “In a newly created world… A world where only time flowed and space expanded… There should have been no strife.”

He shook his head and turned his gaze away from the heavens and down towards the dirt. “But what became of that world? Because the human spirit is weak and incomplete, strife has spread… The world is being ruined by it… I find this state of affairs to be deplorable…”

He finally seemed to notice the presence of a kid on a bicycle awkwardly torn between excusing himself and somehow making a polite interjection. Luckily the blue-haired man uttered a brusque “Excuse me” and stormed off, leaving Spamigo feeling the chill of the cave a bit more acutely.

It was a relief to get back to the sun again.

So is this like a rabbit food vegetarian bashing thing or do people just not eat Berries in the Pokemon world? I’m confused. Berries look good.

As we enter Hearthome we’re rushed by a deadly Buneary!

Or just the adorable kind of Buneary.

“You can’t do it now?”

“Judge regulations.”

Something about that name brings a faint hint of familiarity to the back of Spamigo’s mind.

(there’s nothing else to this I just wanted to reference Shin Mazinger (it’s a good anime))

Advice Guy tells us that the Gym Leader is at the Contest Hall too.

Do you have to catch that Buneary to fight the Gym Leader?

Did Barry catch the Buneary? Actually he probably could keep pace with a rabbit as long as it was in a straight line.

Bebe here runs the Pokemon Storage system in Sinnoh. She wants to give you an Eevee, but I didn’t RNG roll an Eevee at the start of this.

Is the Buneary the Gym Leader?

Mom’s first name isn’t Mom?

Anyway Keira and Mom talk about Contests and she gives you some accessory before leaving.

Mom meanwhile has been busy driving her opponents to tears on the Contest circuit and gives you fancy clothes to wear if you do a Contest.

I’m not doing Contests .

If that ain’t the most mom line possible.

Oh wait is that an NPC with a unique sprite over there?

“Actually… I’m not planning on doing any Contests.”

“Oh thank heaven. You are for to the Gym Challenge then?”

“…Yes?”

I’d like to imagine Fantina’s got a real developed stage voice and can easily project to the back of the theater. So Spamigo’s been deafened and everyone else has heard every word of this conversation.

Aww, Mina. I hear there’s a nice park in Hearthome.

…Mina’s not cute?

LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME THAT WILHELMINA IS NOT CUTE.

NEXT TIME: Spamigo Gets Ghosted

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 12: SPAMIGO GETS GHOSTED

Hearthome Gym! It’s supposed to be pitch black and you can only see what’s illuminated by your flashlight but… that didn’t want to work in DeSmuME.

So I get to just run straight through.

Kinda claustrophobic for a Gym Leader room, isn’t it? Comparatively speaking, I mean.

Fantina does a twirl before she laughs at double text size volume.

Her dress is based on Drifblim and I think Drifblim is cool so I think the dress c’est une good.

Non?

See it’s got the little plus and everything.

Reina uses Focus Energy to boost her crit chance, while Duskull sets up Future Sight.

…Okay? She wasn’t using her Attack anyway!

Reina’s taking a lot of punishment but she just pushed the Duskull below the Potion Threshold, and…

A timely crit basically undoes that Super Potion! But she is at 10 HP.

Which isn’t a lot of HP if you’re a Horsea.

Anomalo tags in and takes out the Duskull.

Which saddens me a bit because as a mecha nerd I’ve always been tickled by Duskull’s Zeon monoeye thing it has going on. If I ever trained a Duskull I’d name it Zaku I. Then Zaku II when it evolves. Dusknoir can be Psycho Zaku.

I love it when free status effects hit my opponent.

I believe some Paralysis rolls helped, but Mina’s also just trading blows pretty well here.

Even through the Super Potion she comes out on top.

And now I’m VERY glad that I got Fantina to burn her Super Potions on not this Mismagius. It’s going to be a challenge to-

Oh look Quick Claw activated. Getting the speed advantage on this witch will make things easier.

That was still predictable though. You did a good job, Mina.

ANOMALO! GRIND THAT SPEED STAT INTO THE DUST! THE DUST!

you’d think that since i look up gym leader teams before the battle (but not during) i’d remember which mons have berries and have Castellia use Bug Bite

you’d be wrong but you could think that all the same

You hit more than enough, Anomalo. I’m sure that in a different RPG system, we’d be taking two turns to each of the Mismagius’ one.

Anyway, since this thing likes its Psybeam so much, we’ll give it a taste of the ol’ Poison/D-

wat

IS THE EMULATOR BUGGING OUT NOW?!

hurry hurry move past it before it realize it broke the type chart

I’m glad I don’t have to clean up the piles of rubble.

Sadly Anomalo’s claws are not shadowy enough to make use of this move. You might call that a flaw but I’ve always thought his tangibility was a beautiful thing.

Thanks Fantina.

I’m still a little jealous of how many cool Ghost Pokemon are on your teams.

I SPECIFICALLY DO NOT THANK YOU, ADVICE GUY.

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 13: Class Aves Is My Nemesis

Leaving Hearthome, we run into…

A note of mercy is that you can just turn around right here and not start the battle. Apparently between developing Platinum and White/Black GameFreak decided that letting the player know a rival battle was coming was “for suckers.”

I think right around when I originally took these screenshots was when Pokemon Masters was released and everyone was sharing that dialog box about how you shouldn’t bully people into battling with you.

This dang bird and it’s Double Team.

It leads with Double Team to boost evasion. If you don’t hit it, I’m quite sure it’ll keep going until it’s maximally evasive. Did you hit it without knocking it out? You just turned on Endeavor, which’ll set your HP to match its HP. It’s also fast so while it’s dodging everything it’s probably also going first, and just in case it ever had to worry about that it also has Quick Attack.

I’ll be quite honest there were several attempts that couldn’t reasonably get past this bird. I got one hit in, but then no others and was left facing a Staravia with 14 HP and max evasion. If I don’t win here early against the bird then I could very easily just be swept by it.

In every random team run it always comes back to the birds.

One of the flaws that makes me an interesting and complex character is that even when the RNG is influenced, mentally I see these failures as do to the RNG rather than my strategy. “It would’ve worked, I just rolled bad,” is my thinking. So I kept using Wilhelmina at the start.

Why, then, did I never try to use Thunder Wave even after exposing Paralysis as one of my favorite things to do?

…

No I was actually asking, I don’t have an answer.

See? Had Mina not connected for the second hit she would’ve taken a Wing Attack and been out. Endeavor bypasses defenses and resistances, so no one would’ve been safe.

This Buziel has learned to float like a Butterfree (metaphorically, it doesn’t have Levitate) and get in with the quick blows.

It does not know how to sting like a Beedrill (metaphorically, Buziel doesn’t have a stinger).

Nnnnnnnnnnnah.

Next, we see Barry’s turtle in its natural habitat.

Raising its physical defense.

This took me by surprise a bit when I was playing, but…

Yeah I’d swap out too if I was never going to damage a high-Defense Bug type.

I just have better options if we’re playing this game at this stage.

Bar-

Barry are you trying?

Now I almost feel bad.

And so the circle is closed, we have returned to where we begun.

Except now that Grotle doesn’t have a boosted Defense.

I have no idea where her biting mouthparts are, but she does, and that’s all that matters.

If it’s any consolation this was my third or fourth try.

“Man Spamigo you’ve really gotten better in a hurry huh?”

“…Well I-”

“I mean it felt like it was like just the other day all you did was keep trying to tackle and I thought you were going to cry when you lost!” Barry spoke a mile a minute, trampling over Spamigo’s growing frustration.

“ I WASN-”

As the door swung closed behind the rapidly departing Barry, Spamigo looked exasperatedly at the wobbly but standing Wilhelmina, eyebrows furrowed. “I wasn’t going to cry, was I?”

…

So question now:
How did Barry beat Fantina? Did the bird get lucky? I don’t think he got there with Ember, Water Gun, and Razor Leaf.

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 14: SUPER PUNCH OUT!

So some things happened before getting to Maylene!

And if I built this Forretress
Around your heart (WOAH-OH)
Encircled you in entrance haz-ards (WOAH-OH)
Then let me tank it all
For I cannot clear the Stealth Rocks (WOAH-OH)
And let me dodge the 4x Flamethrowers

Forretress has nine resistances, one immunity, and only one weakness! And a base Defense of 140! Sure I especially need to keep her away from Special Fire-type attacks but other than that I’m not sure what’s going to hurt her. Bug/Steel cover each others bases pretty well, it turns out.

Sure. She’s more a Physical attacker, but it’s still a STAB move.

Once, she relied on her extremely staticky wool to generate the electricity for her attacks. She could not use the power herself, except to build it up externally and channel the creation from without.

Now the power comes from within her.

Sure? I don’t know why Ampharos gets Thunderpunch and Firepunch considering it’s decidedly more a Special attacker, but I can hit Physical and Special Defense now?

Spamigo wasn’t sure how to make this question less awkward: “Dawn were… you just waiting here the whole time?”

“No. No, no. I’ve been working on the Pokedex,” she said with some emphasis, “I ran into Barry- Well, more like he ran into me on his way out of town, but I was just stopping here to check out the department store. I really wanted to get to the department store and check the bookstore for the next book in this really sweet series that I’m reading.”

“…Oh? What’s it about?”

“It’s really romantic, about this girl who’s going to be a Pokemon researcher and she meets a boy doing the Gym Challenges and I nearly cried reading the part where their paths separate because he doesn’t know how important she really is to him.” She let out a sigh and shook her head slightly. "It’d be nice to have something that romantic happen.” Her voice dropped like she was talking to herself, but not far enough that he couldn’t hear.

This was one of those points where Spamigo really had no idea how to respond except with, “Uh… I hope it does.”

It was hard to tell with her bangs partially hiding her gaze, but her eye might have twitched a bit. “Thanks, but that’s okay. I’m starting to learn not to get my hopes up.”

Presented without comment:

Crasher Wake is my favorite Gym Leader in this game. Yeah Fantina has all the cool Ghost-types but she’s not a triple-threat.

Anyway, Maylene!

I hate this Gym. The puzzle is pushing punching bags around but it locks you in place while the camera follows the bag slooooooowly trundling down the rack. And there was enough time between my clearing the Gym for levels and facing Maylene that I forgot the solution.

At any rate, I’d been thinking some and realized that I only ever show the successful battles in these things. I’d resolved to try to show how many attempts can go into one of these… But then I cleared the Gym on my first try. I guess it just goes to show that sometimes when you finally face your problems, you find out they’re not as big as you thought.

Ah, a Medicham after my own heart.

Now, you might say, “Spammy, I remember when you posted the team approximately one Middle-Earth age ago. Surely your Psychic-type Claydol can sweep this Gym.”

“Very observant,” I might reply, “But Maylene’s Gym is actually well protected against all but the speediest Psychic types.”

Now, this Meditite can’t really do effective damage to Dogu. But Dogu’s Psybeams only hit for neutral damage thanks to Medicham’s Psychic-type…

So this is not really an easily won encounter.

Her Machoke is faster than Dogu, which is especially bad because Dogu does not possess a great deal of Physical Defense. How does Dogu get out of this one?

Sheer dumb luck.

Ha ha ha no, you’re not beating a Lucario.

I finally remember that I love Thunder Wave and use it.

Now, Lucario does take neutral damage from Psychic type attacks. At the time I did this Gym I assumed Steel was immune to Psychic because I always assume that Steel is immune to Psychic because… The Juggernaut and Magneto’s helmets protect them from telepaths.

You heard me.

Lucario also gets Bone Rush, one of Marowak’s Ground-type signature moves, for reasons I didn’t understand in 2007 and don’t understand any better now. I’m guessing the AI never uses it because it’s only looking at one hit and not the average effective power.

Maylene I’m not sure I know what it means to be strong either but using your supereffective attacks seems like a good thing to include.

Getting lucky on Paralysis rolls so far!

…Fine.

Slightly less of one now!

I did not switch out Wilhelmina here. I should have done so, it hadn’t been but a minute since I saw that her Lucario would outspeed Mina all things being equal.

At least it couldn’t recover a lot of HP off of Drain Punch.

Reina closes it out.

“What?” Spamigo thought, “Am I just going to trip over a Fly HM in a warehouse somewhere?”

60 power, 100 accuracy, physical Fighting type attack. No one on this team can learn it. I’d love to give it to Anomalo, but he doesn’t have fists!

Maylene’s Gym is inspirational.

[

“Dawn… were you-”

"NO."

NEXT TIME: LEGITIMATE COIN ACQUISITION!

…In two weeks. I shall be going on a week-and-a-half vacation and won’t be updating the LP on the road, I’m afraid. I’ll see you all then!

[SpammyV]

For the game that I love so much… for the completion of this thread! LP.ZONE! I HAVE RETURNED!

UPDATE 15: The Calm Before the PPV

“I’m warning you! If you don’t give me that Pokedex back you and your stupid hair are going-” There was a tone that Spamigo hadn’t heard from Dawn before. The two Galactic Grunts were standing noticeably out of arm’s reach and doing their best not to glance nervously at one another. One of them was a bit too obvious about looking at Spamigo as he walked closer, cluing in Dawn to turn around before she got too deep into the threats.

“Just the two of them?”

“There were more.”

Man I can’t spice this up any. They’re Galactic Grunts. I love Galactic Grunts, the competition between Galactic Grunts and Skull Grunts comes down to which game I played most recently, but it’s not like they’re a threat.

Highlights include:

Gravity Manipulation!

Power Trick swaps the user’s Attack and Defense stats. Dogu does have more Defense than Attack, but it’s not so extreme I want to swap them.

Now if Castellia could learn Power Trick she could become an incredibly slow glass cannon!

Wait that doesn’t sound good either.

Spoilers: This battle doesn’t last long and the only reason I ever had to switch out Dogu is they sent out something immune to Psybeam.

And right on schedule…

Dawn groaned and dug her forehead into her palm, shaking her head a few times. “Sorry, sorry. It’s just been a stressful day. Blurted that out without thinking. I’m just gonna go now… Good luck, Spamigo.”

Looker turned away, stroked his chin, and furrowed his brow. “The greater mystery it is perhaps why the Policia Internacional would send I, the Looker, known for expertise of interdimensional incidents, to investigate miniscule misdemeanors.”

“Wait what?”

Looker swiveled his gaze to glare at Spamigo while barely moving his head. " You heard nothing. "

Again, Spamigo considered whether he could get enough distance before Looker turned around to not have to deal with the strange man further, but ultimately decided against it.

And someone did just shove a Fly TM into Spamigo’s hands.

What was it that was making it so that Team Galactic kept moving their operations to the next town Spamigo was going to?

So unrelated to that, at approximately this time Spamigo used an AR code got an email from an Unovan prince who needed 200 Pokebux to access his large store of Game Corner coins (all the Game Corners belong to the same worldwide network and use interchangable coins) and would send a large supply to Spamigo in payment and this time it wasn’t a scam!

Now we’re playing with power!

The Wide Lens is +10% base accuracy to all moves. Rock Tomb goes from 80% to 88% and Metal Claw goes from 95% to 100% (Technically 104.5%). He’s not putting the lens down for a while.

Birdon joins the team as Designated Fly Haver and cripes. Defog will save me some time down the road but look at this! The That Bird moveset is practically Staravia’s default level up moves.

I’m starting to realize that between Starly, Shinx, and Ponyta you can be pretty set for your lategame team before you face the first Gym.

Oh no. He’s learning.

So uh… This battle is actually extremely underwhelming.

While all his Pokemon have gotten some levels and a few more powerful moves (sorry Ponyta), it’s still functionally the same team as he had in Hearthome.

Meanwhile I spent thousands of coins on high-power TMs.

Yeah.

It’s okay I looked ahead and I’m already not looking forward to the next battle.

Spamgio called out, “Barry you can’t sing though! You got us kicked out of the karaoke place!”

Congratulations Reina! Now technically at any point now I could AR code in Spamigo could trip over a Dragon Scale and evolve Reina into a Kingdra. Ultimate Pokemon Randomizer has a feature to fix impossible evolutions, which usually means adding an alternate method so that trading is not required. So rather than trade a Seadra holding a Dragon Scale, you just have your Seadra level up while carrying a Dragon Scale.

I’m going to hold off on this for now and evolve her… Somewhere in the 40s 50? Seadra to Kingdra seems like something that should happen between 40 and 45.

And with Reina evolved I think it’s time for a TEAM UPDATE!

Return isn’t the best on Wilhelmina since she’s more Special-slanted, but it’s a non-Electric move until she learns her Special coverage moves.

Dogu has a lot of Special Defense but not as much Physical Defense. Reflect to halve Physical damage in theory makes them a better all-round tank.

On the list of “Things I didn’t know” is that Seviper is actually even with its Physical and Special attack stats and can learn Flamethrower. That’s just going to be something I keep in the back of my mind as we approach the Steel and Ice gyms.

Also my giant murder snakes knocks things out more effectively because I treat it well.

Reina’s growing into having a diverse move list! I probably shouldn’t have replaced Bubblebeam with Brine but if we’re being honest every Water move in that slot is just a placeholder for Surf. Not going to pretend Reina wasn’t always the Designated Surf Haver.

Soon, Anomalo, you’ll be the Attack monster. Buff up with Swords Dance and then start going to town. Interestingly, despite the animation always being someone doing a karate chop, Brick Break does not require hands to use!

Castellia has a lot of Phsyical Defense but not as much Special Defense. Light Screen to halve Special damage in theory makes her a better all-round tank.

I’m… mostly sure I got that right.

Rest is pretty iffy in this list without giving her a Chesto Berry for the immediate wake up. But honestly I wanted to try something new since I only play Pokemon games single-player and have never messed with any tactic beyond “Have a bunch of move types and hold down the attack button.”

NEXT TIME:

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 16: CRASHERMANIA’S RUNNING WILD!

In preparation for this battle, Spamigo had studied the PPV record and realized that when Crasher Wake looks defeated and his opponent tried to remove his mask that just gave Wake the motivation to power up thanks to the energy of the tides and the love of his fans and then no-sell two hits before ending things with the Tsunami Overcrash.

So don’t go for the mask.

In my head, Crasher Wake doesn’t have an indoor voice.

LET’S RUMBLE!

Now, Gyarados can pack a punch so we’ll have to be caref- oh look Quick Claw activated.

It bugs me that Quick Claw only has a very indistinct animation and not a message.

Anyway Quagsire is Water/Ground so we’re not just going to be able to shock it.

At the time I assumed it also had a Ground-type move (it does) in addition to the requisite Water attack so Anomalo, Sid, and Dogu are out. So I thought why not send Castellia in? Bug resists Ground for some reason.

Did you know that Toxic can miss?

Did you know that Castellia seems to take two shots to zero in and land a Toxic?

Funnily enough, I DID remember to give Castellia a Chesto Berry, so this Yawn didn’t stick.

And in doing so discovered how to break this Quagsire’s AI, since it kept reapplying Yawn instead of using Water Pulse.

Now Floatzels are fast and this one has Aqua Jet because it’s not enough to be probably faster than everything else, you need a priority move so th- oh look Quick Claw activated.

Yeah that’s fair you kinda… uh… didn’t actually battle a lot here.

badges

Reina you have just enough time to decide what dipping sauce you want for your HM.

Brine doubles in power if the target is below 50% health which… probably has utility? If it still counted the double-damage if you attack the turn the opponent uses a Potion it definitely would but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way.

That’s something that comes up in a lot of fields. Focusing only on the end result puts you into a more negative headspace, where focusing on the process and enjoyment in the moment lets you play better. Of course I’d expect a Face like Crasher Wake to be all about lifting up friendly challengers.

Yeah yeah Advice Guy, I’m onto you.

And so, energized by the earning of a badge and the kind words of a Gym Leader, Spamigo steps out into the evening air, thinking it sure would be a shame if this evening got interrupted.

But you can already see Barry running in.

Mr. Wake? I thought he had two first names and they were Crasher and Wake.

So does your mask burn when people say your name?

Barry’s voice actor in my mental narration can’t play off calling someone “Master” like Domon Kasshu, sorry.

“You’re good, you don’t need me.”

“I DECIDED I NEED YOU.”

[deus ex reference here]

NEXT TIME: Explosion sounds.

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 17: Chasing the Feeling

Alias The Looker let out a hum as he stroked his chin like people did when they were being thoughtful. “So as you are saying the Team Galactic…”

“Blew up part of the Pastoria Marsh,” Spamigo explained with an exasperation that was lost on his companion.

“How fiendishness. And according to you, then the Crasher Wake…”

“Went to suplex the bomb or something.”

“And so you were to begun the immediate persuit of the admitted wrongdoer and did hound him with dogged determination.”

“Yes, and-”

Spamigo did not let out a sigh the entire length of the time spent catching up to Looker, but it was close.

I’m going to admit that I’m pretty fond of humor like this.

To be fair, if I’d been actually running for this long I would be huffing and puffing and considering the benefits of the void.

Although it seems like he was running less because he wanted to save time and more because someone sent him out with only one Pokemon.

I wonder what the worldwide stats are on Croagunks that Shuddered and ate a Psychic-type move.

Were you dropping Pokeballs to save the weight or something?

So he staggers off extremely slowly. Maybe humming the credits music from the Incredible Hulk show.

And Cynthia shows up, apparently after having watched him walk off.

Unless…

The lake you say…

Spamigo reflexively cut in with “The tourism board put that sign up.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Barry we’ve been friends forever and you think you’ve never met my sister?”

“I dunno man it maybe she’s like your long lost sister who faked her own death in order to protect her family but then you end up meeting anyway and obviously the bad guys are gonna find out first and then it’s like a big thing and-”

“Wait what?”

“Yeah it turns out it was just one of those big noisemakers they use to try to scare birds off with.”

Hope Barry doesn’t trip over the poor Galactic Grunt who’s probably passed out just off screen.

Oh yeah there’s a bunch of Psyduck. Just like mounded up. All of them doing that pose that Psyduck do. It’s like headaches are magnetic and draw them together.

“…Isn’t this a fire extinguisher?”

“It only looks like a fire extinguisher. It’s full of medicine. Just spray it on them.”

“But… They already didn’t find any caves or magic Pokemon in the lakes.”

Well bye Cynthia.

NEXT TIME: What do you mean that guy was important to the plot?

…
Okay for real though ALL I’M SAYING is we never saw Cynthia and that Galactic Grunt on the screen at the same time.

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 18: Ruin My Day.

Welcome back! We’ve got a bit of a longer update today.

Here we see a group of Psyduck in their natural habitat: Misery.

In my mind’s eye I still see spraying them with a fire extinguisher.

And now that the haze of migraine clears from their minds, their BLOODLUST comes roaring back to the forefront!

Or they remembered it’s board game night tonight, who knows.

Cynthia comes walking up like she didn’t just watch Spamigo spend three minutes fiddling with how to get the fire extinguisher to spray.

It’s weird that Psyduck’s most known for its psychic powers and yet it’s never been a Psychic type. Like you see a Charmander and Game Freak is going, “no it’s normal type even with the fire on its tail.”

This looks like trying to find any justification to make Spamigo run this errand for her, but actually there is a pretty uncommon encounter on the next route, so she’s not lying!

… too easy.

And after a little more cajoling she leaves, because even Cynthia doesn’t want to have to deal with…

The Fog Route.

Alright, so I was not taking screenshots of every single thing that happened while playing during the route, and at the end of it, I was kicking myself, as it turned out to be a pretty good dsiplay of the challenges of the Random Team Run. Granted, I had both Birdon and Scarfy in my team, neither of which I want to let into battle, because I overestimated the amount of HM usage I’d need. Perhaps it was a self-fulfilling prophecy that by bringing Birdon along to Fly back home and heal up, I guaranteed I would have to use Fly because I was down a battler. But regardless:

There’s stretch of Route 210 that’s clogged with Ace Trainers and a few Veterans, who were constant pains in my side. It turns out with an easily exploitable type weakness that I can see coming, balanced teams can just be a problem! Shoutouts to the Ace Trainer pair with a Gyarados and a Raichu. Mina declined to trivialize THAT fight with Quick Claw.

Game Freak usually does a pretty decent job making sure that whatever is coming up, the player has seen Pokemon that can overcome it. Even going back to Roark, you could possibly have had a Roselia and definitely a Machop. And here I am, thumbing my nose at all of that and saying that I need six Pokemon and six Pokemon alone to get through the game. And while Pokemon games usually aren’t objectively hard, sometimes doing this you run into the one Trainer that you have no good answers for that is an absolute nightmare.

But at any rate, here’s Spamigo in a tiny town full of bossy old people.

Here’s Spamigo shocked into silence that someone would ask where he’s from.

Spamigo bit his tongue just this once that the legend of the lake Pokemon was just a legend.

Din, Naryu, and Faore; got it.

Spamigo thought about saying it was just a noisemaker, but decided against it.

The old lady turned back to glare at the spaceman, but with nothing happening her mood worsened. She cleared her throat loudly, and started to repeat herself with greater emphasis: “If only I were YOUNGER, and had my POKEMON…”

At that point Spamigo rushed in.

Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeahno gonna have to ask that you maybe don’t.

Pictured in this battle: Anomalo coming into his own.

Step 1: Double his Attack.

Step 2: attack.

The little shrimp that could!

All are forced to admit how powerful Anomalo is!

Now let’s swap NPCs.

And just like that she doesn’t seem to remember trying to guilt-trip Spamigo into fighting.

A whole bunch of text boxes about how yes, the person Cynthia said was her grandmother is in fact her grandmother and the Old Charm is special and you should go see inside the ruins.

So let’s!

Wonder who made this. As in, in-universe.

Oh right Gen IV added this wonderful nugget the fanon.

Who would interrupt a history lesson?

Wait the guy I’ve been saying isn’t a part of the plot? What are you doing here making me a liar?

There’s not a whole lot to say when people start trying to talk about the cosmic balance and the need to destroy the world to remake it. One of those conversations that you want to keep away from.

And yet Spamigo feels himself compelled to step in and stop someone threatening the town and its history.

So there’s some weird interactions in the type chart that I’ll remember, and some that I just never committed.

I spend turns trying to get this Sneasel to eat a Toxic because I don’t remember that Bug is supereffective against Dark!

There was no reason to let it Ice Punch as much!

Friggin’ ow. And if it does that much to Sid I’m afraid about sending anyone else into a Drill Peck, so…

Sorry Sid.

Let’s just do the right thing this time.

Nuh-uh game you already taught me that lesson about trying to be cute. I’m staying the course in the face of this Golbat.

And I’m rewarded for it!

And on that cryptic note Cyrus skulks away. Of course we’re not telling the InterPol agent investigating Team Galactic that their leader was threatening to unmake reality.

“Leave a room for that ungrateful girl for FIVE YEARS but does she come home to visit her poor grandmother? Of course the life of a big shot means she has to sacrifice time with her family.”

“So then this…”

“If you’re not happy I’ll let you go through the rest before I donate it to the resale store.”

YES!

Oh we have a detour to make now.

Excuse me Cynthia there’s a TM I need to find.

“Harmless…?”

Cynthia shrugged. “Well, some theft here and there. But they’re barely more competent than deliquents. And the whole passing off a noisemaker as a bomb thing, you know? I just sort of assumed they were crazy and morons.”

“And now?”

“Well they might not all be morons and that’s worrying.”

Right, go to the town with the next Gym.

Alright are people done talking to me? GOOD.

Join me next time as we make a very very critically important no we cannot skip this detour before we go to Canalave City!

NEXT TIME: I’ve been planning this since I rolled my team.

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 19: The Abridge Version

Hello! Last time, we learned that we needed to be going to Canalave City.

We are not going to Canalave City. Route 219 comes south off of Sandgem town, the second town in the game. Where Roark’s lab is. We didn’t stop in to say hi.

And yet we still must go further southward!

Ostensibly, the only reason that you would come this way is Pal Park. In ye olden times on ye DS or DS Lite (DSi owners can get bent), ye could pop ye GBA cart into the console and do a one-way transfer from ye Gen III game into ye Gen IV game. This was how you were meant to Catch 'Em All. Naturally, the Pal Park opens up in the postgame. It does nothing for me now. Or perhaps at all since this playthrough is emulated.

Even if DeSmuME had the functionality to do so, I’m still not. For what purpose? Teams Don’t Call Me Lance and Invasive Species have more than earned their rest in the hall of fame.

But since it’s a post-game only feature, you might very well think this whole route is blocked off and only accessible in the postgame. You might very well be wrong, but you could think that all the same.

When I was first looking over the level-up moves of my team and starting to lament how dire some of them were, I looked to the TMs and what was available, and thought for certain this would be blocked off. But it’s not. And so it is Very Important that we get it.

X-Scissor. Or Scissor Cross if you want to get literal with the translation. 80 Power, 100% Accuracy, Physical Bug attack. You know when Anomalo would be learning this? Level 73 .

No, I’m not kidding.

We’ve got most of the game between now and then!

Who else is even going to take this? Sid’s the only one who even can use this TM and he’s already got more good moves than he has move slots.

No, this is getting served hot and fresh to Anomalo with a side of buttermilk ranch dipping sauce and I’m not looking back. The only reason that I might not slam it into the first slot and hold down the A button is if I ever so faintly consider putting Swords Dance under there instead. And yet in the end Anomalo might just have so much Attack he doesn’t need the buff that much.

I know where the Rock Slide TM is and as soon as we’re on the way there I’m picking that up and bumping out Rock Tomb without a moment’s hesitation.

Now those among you with a long memory might be about to bring up the 100 Power, 100% Accuracy Physical Ground-type attack in the room: Earthquake. Platinum actually makes Earthquake available pretty early, but that specific move I have avoided just because I was unsure of how to apply it.

Anomalo certainly would be able to put the damage to the best use, but obviously isn’t getting STAB out of it. Dogu has a lot of good options, but he doesn’t learn the 90 Power, 100% Accuracy, Special Earth Power until 62. I might not reach 62 before the Elite 4, though I might grind up to there to fight them. Is letting Dogu try to get by on Psychic and some other coverage for so long and neglecting giving him a Ground STAB worth it? That’s what I just don’t know.

I still have some time before I fight the Steel-type Gym, so I can still kick the can down the road. I am curious about what you all think though: 70 Base Attack + STAB worth it compared to 125 Base Attack? Does Anomalo just have so many good moves available through TMs it’s better to let Dogu have it?

But now that we have X-Scissor Cross, we can continue on our merry way and meet a scientist on the way.

The confusion must’ve been visible on Spamigo’s face, because the scientist didn’t wait for the question. “I’m Dawn’s father, I work with Professor Rowan.”

“Oh…” Spamigo nodded in just enough understanding. “How’s she doing?”

He shrugged, “Well she was annoyed about something last time she came by. Did something happen? Oh, Rowan asked me to upgrade your Pokedex. May I?”

Spamigo handed the device over and the scientist started to fiddle with the options as Spamigo explained. “No, nothing I can think of. I mean there was a something with Galactic, but other than that we haven’t seen each other that much.”

That answer was met with a few nods as the scientist finished pushing buttons, put something into the expansion slot, and slammed it in by bashing it against his knee. It made a real meaty KER-CHUNK sound but then the Pokedex was booting up and beeping normally.

“They tried to steal Dawn’s Pokedex, right? Between that and trying to steal his research in Jubilife, the Professor’s starting to be concerned. Can I ask you to keep an eye on Teal Galactic? Just let the Professor know if you see anything, there’s no reason for you to get involved.”

“Right…” At this point it seemed to Spamigo like he couldn’t not be involved, but he didn’t want to tell Dawn’s father that.

Ahem.

Also, on the way to Canalave!

Dogu evolves!

Dogu wants to learn WHAT?!

You know what fine, I’ll accept the mental image of Dogu blasting Hyper Beams out of his eyes in all directions like some kind of alien invader.

After all of that, now we’re in Canalave, the city with the canal. I don’t know about its population of aves. Clearly it can’t be too high because it’s my lot in life to be opposed by birds.

Well this bascule bridge looks like a pretty good place for some form of dramatic encounter.

Oh there we go. Hope no boats need to pass through for the next little bit.

Alright while I had my skepticisms about how Barry might have dealt with Fantina or Maylene, I could actually see his present team dealing with Byron’s team.

That Bird is all grown up! And actually it’s grown out of the That Bird gimmick, now it’s just morphing into a Staraptor that’ll just peck your face off at a moment’s noti- oh look Quick Claw activated.

I love it when Mina decides to just Thunder Break an enemy out of the picture.

what

I looked, it knows Stomp and Take Down. I don’t know why it went for Tail Whip of all things.

Let’s just… move on.

Full disclosure: After losing Babby’s First Rival Battle I was reeling, wondering if I should even keep the footage and the team, especially in despair because Grass resists Electric even before Torterra goes fully immune. Eventually, without consulting Bulbapedia, I calmed myself down by telling my self that “Seadra/Kingra look like they should learn Ice Beam so they probably do.”

I just didn’t expect it to do so much.

Oh yeah Barry has a Heracross now and it is PISSED.

castellia PLEA

069

Jeeze did they change its ability so it crits more if an ally’s fainted?

Alright, so the Toxic was going to get rid of Heracross no matter what, so I bet on Anomalo being able to take a hit but double his attack.

Now, Anorith is in that category of Pokemon where it’s not a speedy Pokemon but it’s speedier than you expect and every now and then it gets the initiative in a battle where you wouldn’t expect it.

Why did I expect it to do so against one of the speedier Water-types?

I don’t have to testify when it may be incriminating.

Maybe I’ll use pattern recognition one day and stop trying to be cute… or I’ll forget all the life lessons I’ve learned between now and then.

Is it me?

Aww.

Clearly even though Iron Island does not have any Heracrosses it’ll provide valuable insight into Barry’s prowess and allow us to overcome him in our next encounter.

NEXT TIME: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ONLY BROUGHT ONE POKEMON!?

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 20: Riley Isn’t Invited To My Birthday Party

Oh! I didn’t see you come in. Actually that’s a lie, my network of 4k cameras and occupancy sensors doesn’t miss anything . But let’s keep rolling.

Welcome to scenic Iron Island. A tiny speck of rock in the (presumably cold (because Sinnoh’s deal is it’s Cold and Ancient)) ocean that somehow has a mine on it.

Anyone ever find a seed in Minecraft that starts on an island? I’m not ruling it out.

And as we ascend up the stairs, someone in a stylish hat is there!

Careful, I just heard the fourth wall creaking.

And now, if I so chose I could just turn around and walk away since there’s nothing really in the caves for me except free experience.

But it’s for me, and it’s free.

I bet it smells lovely down here. I’m sure the slowly rusting barrels add a wonderful layer to the aroma.

The usual partnering rules apply: All wild Pokemon battles and most trainer battles are going to be doubles, and you’ll get a free full heal after each battle.

Riley uses a Lucario because it’s not enough that it’s the ace of a Gym Leader, Gamefreak wanted to make sure that you saw the Pushed Mascot Pokemon.

“Didn’t you say you came here to train?”

Riley’s smile turned fixed as he slowly nodded. “I… haven’t had a lot to do lately.”

And yet all the barrels got left behind. They’re red barrels in a video game, so are they explosive? I don’t think Pokemon has confirmed that all red barrels are explosive. If they’re not full of explosion, what do you think is inside them?

“Oh no Roark specializes in Rock types.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Spamigo had a look of deep concentration on his face for a few moments as he mulled over what Riley said. Hesitantly, he ask, “But wouldn’t Lucario be a good pick to fight a Steel-type because it’s Fighting-type?”

Riley stopped. “I meant metaphorically.”

While slogging through the endless random battles, this happened:

At level 37 Anomalo was set to learn his first Bug-type move. And it’s Fury Cutter . This is why that detour to get X-Scissor was so important.

Alright, so I started a battle with two Ace Trainers, who send out this Staraptor/Medicham team. I don’t screenshot their dialog, or the first turn, but here’s what happened: Medicham and Staraptor dog-piled Riley’s Lucario and knocked it out almost immediately. It turns out Lucario really doesn’t like taking a High Jump Kick to the chin.

After withdrawing his fainted Lucario, Riley stepped back and crossed his arms over his chest, not seemed to notice Spamigo’s worried expression. “Aren’t… Don’t you have another Pokemon?”

“I find it’s more effective to train with one Pokemon at a-”

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN’T BRING ANOTHER POKEMON?!"

Now I’m panicking! In between the screaming internally and the shaking my fist at Riley and telling him he’s never allowed to partner up with me again, I remember that I do have a spread move I can try to cheese things with.

Extremely luckily for me Reina did not eat a Hi Jump Kick+Close Combat turn and get wombo combo’d out of existence.

Thankfully the challenge was front-loaded in this Randomly Difficult Trainer Battle.

And that’s why Riley isn’t invited to my birthday party.

Ah yes, Galactic Grunts! Probably the source of these troubles. We’ll just-

ahem

We’ll just deal with them now.

I’d take you more seriously if you didn’t just almost lose me the last battle, Riley.

In contrast this isn’t even worth showing. Anomalo uses Swords Dance and then it and Lucario go to town, stop for lunch, do some leisurely shopping, and make their way back home.

The Grunts run away after losing, like Grunts do.

I think I went home to deposit someone and pick up this Egg. It’s a Riolu egg. Technically speaking there’s nothing in the rules that say I couldn’t hatch it and the Togepi egg to keep them around for moral support.

If you have a good nickname for a Riolu and/or Togepi to be our mascot/tagalong kid share it in the thread!

I do take care on the way out, but I stand by what I said before about the invitation. The real reason I take care on the way out is that Anomalo is very close to level 40, which means he’s very close to…

Evolving!

I’ve always been a little torn on Armaldo’s design. On the one hand, something about the proportions (namely the big trunk and stumpy straight legs) scream classic Godzilla movie to me, and I like that.

On the other hand, Anorith hews very closely to the design of Anomalocaris and hearkens back to the oddities of form in the Cambrian era, a period which has always fascinated me. Losing the compound eyes and radial mouth and making it more conventional both adds something to the design and takes something away for me.

But you know what I don’t feel torn about?

These stat gains!

He’s lost 20 Speed, so the era of Anomalo randomly being faster than some Pokemon is likely over. But at minimum he’s gained 25 points everywhere, with a whopping 42 added to his Defense. This is the point where I’d say that Anomalo has truly come into his own and man am I glad for it.

NEXT TIME: Uncharted waters.

This is actually a very special update! Like I mentioned into the OP, I was originally posting this on another forum that has since been sadly closed. Up until now it’s been all my old material and screenshots. But this update covers the last time that I played before putting this on hiatus as I didn’t have a place to post.

Going forward it’ll be all new material. I’m excited for you to join me! Who knows what will happen?! I mean, it’ll be Pokemon Platinum. I’m not dropping this thread to start LPing Magical Starsign or Infinite Space, be as they may DS JRPGs I remember fondly. But I have no more advance knowledge of how things will go than you do.

Also, if you have any suggestions to make, NOW! IS! THE! TIME!

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 21: THE RIDDLE OF STEEL

Welcome back my dear reader(s)! Since we are now moving into uncharted territory and we’ve had a few evolutions, I thought we should start this off with a T E A M U P D A T E!

DASH! DASH! dan dan dadan
DASH! DASH! dan dan dadan
DASH! DASH! dan dan dadan
SCRAMBLE! DASH!

because that’s how the Great Mazinger them starts
and it’s big move is the Thunder Break
and that’s what i’ve been calling mina using thunderbolt

DON’T MAKE FUN OF ME OR SO HELP ME I’LL TAKE HER TO THE MOVE RELEARNER TO GIVE HER FIRE PUNCH AND SPEND THE REST OF THIS LP YELLING DRILL PRESSURE PUNCH!

Anyway whatever Mina Thunder Breaks oughta be left hurting, and she’s got Thunder Wave for utility now. Since she’s fully evolved she’ll start coming into some spread moves too.

Claydol’s actually got balanced base Attack and Special Attack, although you’d never know it from the massively special slanted movelist it has.

Dogu leans into the Special side of things, and having some kind of ancient astronaut idol blasting beams out of its helmet suits me just fine.

Reina’s got Surf in the first move slot and that’s all she needs. Kingdra doesn’t have particularly great Dragon moves by level-up, but we’ll get around that (she can get Draco Meteor if we’re desperate). She packs a potent Ice Beam as well.

Seviper’s actually got balanced base Attack and Special Attack, although you’d never know it from the massively physically slanted movelist it has.

Now that we’ve pulled away from the early game where stats are not very differentiated, Sid’s lack of defenses is coming back to haunt him. If I have any speed boosting medicines I should give them to him along with the Quick Claw. If he does get that attack in, though, a good Return or (eventually) Poison Jab should put a hurting on something.

Castellia gets to sit in front of physical attackers and wait them out, since she’s got few weaknesses and a lot of resistances. With Sturdy she’s guaranteed to set up a Light Screen, and would be guaranteed to apply Toxic if she didn’t always seem to take one or two turns to zero it in. If she’s not getting Chesto Berries I might pass her the lens so she could hit Toxic on the first try.

Anomalo is here to crush whatever gets in his way. If he needs it, he’s got 220 attack and a bevy of good moves to put it to use. His vulnerability to some special types is a little rough to deal with, but he can just claw through enemies like the jaws of life vs. a flimsy car exterior, so I’m not that worried.

At any rate, it’s time to fight Shaq. I apologize for the images being slightly different in size, I had to change my process slightly (but I did learn how to make my Switch Pro Controller work with deSmuME so if you’d like to learn, let me know).

Or if he has a steel body does that make him Metallo?

Canalave Gym could nominally be called a maze, but really much like Pastoria Gym it’s a maze you solve be walking forwards. There really aren’t that many dead ends or loops.

I enjoy the implication that Spamigo just walks up to a Gym leader and yanks out the badge case to show off the goods.

He doesn’t have a sledgehammer I am immeasurably disappointed.

Byron’s team is somewhat geared to take advantage of Metal Sound lowering Special Defense, and he’s got multiple Flash Cannon Pokemon.

But he didn’t really do much to stop Dogu from melting his Magneton’s three brains.

I forget that this Steelix has Ice Fang and Reflect probably wouldn’t save Dogu.

But this Steelix forgets that it has Ice Fang too. But Dogu was low enough that trading blows didn’t work out.

But Reina’s more than enough!

I’ll be honest with you, in my head Steel resists Water, and not the other way around. Also in my head Steel is weak to Electric, but I actually managed to remember that here. So I thought I was just going to hit the Bastiodon in its comparatively softer Special Defense, not drain most of it with a single Surf.

At least he didn’t give up!

STRENGTH PUZZLE TIME YEAH!

Reina can actually learn this, and I’m kind of considering it. It would give her something that can blast Ice pretty hard after she evolves.

Feel like I should be telling this to my nephew if/when he ever gets into Pokemon.

“So why did they abandon the Iron Island mine?”

“Gravelers love to Selfdestruct there.”

Yeah yeah, you have to say that to everyone who gets this Badge.

It’d be real awkward if we’d washed out of beating Byron and were slinking out doing the walk of shame back to the Pokemon Center to heal up.

Hmm, that explains the distinctly plot-like rumble I’ve been hearing as I walk past the Library.

NEXT TIME: books zand papers

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 22: It’s Not A Lake Any More

Previously in the investigation…

We beat Byron and then Barry wanted to talk to us at the library. I’m surprised Barry knows what a library is, he seems like the kind of person who listens to audibooks but at 2x speed because he’s in a hurry all the time.

I slooooowly moseyed down to the Pokecenter to heal up just to spite him.

“Or at least quieter than your friend.”

And then Rowan glares at Barry for three whole text boxes until Barry decides to stay.

“Well!” Rowan began to speak and began to pace beside the table, hands clasped behind his back like an instructor. “Now that everyone has decided to listen. You two may have run out on your adventure too quickly to remember this, but I specialize in the study of Pokemon evolution. Yet, for all that I have learned, I still have more questions than answers. What separates Pokemon that evolve from Pokemon that do not? Is it a process of simple maturity? Then what do we make of Pokemon which do not evolve, such as the Legendary Pokemon? Are they complete, perfect beings?”

Spamigo raised his hand: “So… since Sid hasn’t evolved yet does that mean he’s perfect?”

That only threw Rowan off his lecture for a moment. “You could draw that conclusion I suppose. But it is the Legendary Pokemon that I have asked you here for. The three lakes of Sinnoh are each said to contain a Mirage Pokemon.”

Spamigo had just opened his mouth to disagree, but the combination of Dawn’s glare and Barry’s elbow in the ribs kept him quiet.

Rowan chose not to notice at all and continue: “Any data on the Mirage Pokemon that you three could gather in your Pokedex would be of great help to my research.”

“Hey wait I didn’t get a Pokedex!” Barry blurted out faster than Spamigo could jab him with an elbow.

Rowan’s mustache twitched in a halfway threatening manner. “And just who was it that bolted from my lab saying something about how they would 'catch ‘em all’ before I could give them a Pokedex? But that is all water under the bridge. There are three lakes, three Mirage Pokemon, and three assistants. Dawn, if you would, please go to Lake Verity. Barry, you go to Lake Acuity, in the north.”

“YOU BET!” Barry boasted. “I was totally gonna catch all the lake Pokemon shuddup Spamigo for you as a thank-you for giving us our Pokemon I just… put it off a bit because I wanted to get tougher first!”

“I see,” came Rowan’s harrumph. “Well, I’m counting on you. Spamigo, that should leave you with Lake Valor, between Veilstone and Past-”

The only thing that was able to actually break the Professor’s unflappable calmness was the sudden, violent, yet short earthquake that rocked through the library in a matter of seconds.

When the ground decided to be still again, Rowan set to making sure his assistants were unharmed, while Barry started frantically mashing buttons on the TV behind them until he stumbled onto a news channel.

Is Platinum the most self-aware Pokemon game? It seems like it.

“GrampsIgotarealbadfeelingaboutthisI’mgonnagocheckoutlakeAcuityandmakesurenothingbadhappenstheretooBYE!” The only thing faster than Barry’s speech was his pace in racing out of town.

“He really can’t sit still, can he?” Rowan turned to Spamigo with his moustache set at a stern angle. “Spamigo if you would, please hurry to Lake Valor. After an explosion like that, I can’t believe everything would be unharmed. But do not get in over your head, do you understand me? Dawn and I will join you after we finish at Lake Verity.”

Spamigo nodded and turned to leave town, only stopped by Dawn getting his attention: “Spamigo, you just… stay safe, okay?”

And for some reason it was Dawn’s request that made him feel guilty that he was almost certainly going to be fighting Team Galactic at the lake.

A quick stop to get Birdon out, Fly, and immediately put Birdon away and here are at scenic Lake Valor.

Which is kind of missing the lake right now. I’m not a geologist, but- Oh wait I do have a geology focus in my degree. Yeah you need water for a lake.

Those fiends!

…I should’ve gone to see if they let you do the lakes in either order or if they have some railroading barricade at Verity.

That’s… one of the weaker threats I’ve heard in my life.

Although this Galactic Grunt treated the Magikarp with scorn, there was one with a hint of bravery in its blank stare and determination in it’s weak flops. He took it with him, and as he cared for the Magikarp, he slowly grew to be inspired how it always drove itself to jump higher and higher with each flop. He encouraged it, trained it, and one day after Team Galactic had long since been disbanded, he would form the first Magikarp Jump League to serve as a home for all who found friendship in the mighty leaps of the humble Magikarp.

Anyway there’s a cave now revealed with a Galactic Commander inside.

He’s got a unique sprite I’m just assuming that’s an Commander.

The mystery man’s voice was so laden with scorn it was dripping. “So you’re the one who gave Jupiter and Mars such trouble. Hah! Those two only barely complete their missions with how much time they spend arguing with each other. But there’s a reason the boss entrusted this lake to me, Saturn, Team Galactic’s strongest Commander!”

Sid and this Golbat trade blows, but his Returns pack more of a punch than the Golbat’s Air Cutters, so it passes out first.

The text box auto-scrolled before I could capture it, but this Toxicroak pops out and its Anticipation kicks in. You know what hypothetical global counter I proposed for how many Croagunks and Toxicroaks shuddered and immediately ate a Supereffective OHKO?

Add one more to it.

While Steel still isn’t weak to Electric like the type chart in my head goes, this Bronzor does not like Thunder Break.

As I was writing this update I just noticed the “Player” inclusion. What did I do that you don’t want to use my name?

The classic video game villain strategy of executing your evil plan faster than the heroes can put a stop it it.

Oh wait the Professor and Dawn are probably in danger aren’t they.

NEXT TIME: A Daring Rescue!