"I Always Wanted to Be a Musician, But I Became an LPer." Let's Play Stranglehold!

The very first thing we hear in this episode is Chopin’s most famous Nocturne, mostly because it’s in every sad scene in every movie and anime since the beginning of time. But this time it’s over an angry gangster, and I love that it’s so far in the background that we can’t even tell that they’re being clever in their musical choices here.

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:siren: UPDATE TIME! :siren:

Today, it’s time to find out who really killed the dinosaurs! Tequila has tracked down the Golden Kane to the newly opened Chicago History Museum, where they’re doing a trade with the Russian mafia for Tequila’s family! Well things like “public safety” and “art preservation” are the last things on Tequila’s mind now, so he’s ready to go in guns blazing to save Billie and Teko! Can he make it in time to catch his family, or will they slip through his hands once again?

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Yeah this is firmly the “okay this is tired now” level. 100% that.

It’s such a shame too, the idea of an environmental destruction shooter in a museum fantastic! Shame it…turned out the way it did.

I hope that, eons from now, archaeologists put my bones in a museum so I can be an action hero’s staircase.

:siren: SUPER UPDATE TIME! :siren:

Today, it’s time to close out the museum level! Tequila now has to track down his former partner and former friend Jerry, after a surprise appearance led to Billie’s death. As he makes his way through the remnants of the Chicago History Museum, what new info will Tequila find once he catches up to Jerry? And, more importantly, what will be able to do about it?

:siren: WOW, A PODCAST! :siren:


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As new revelations come to light in the story of Stranglehold, so too do new anime! It’s just about time for the new season to start, and so it’s time to look through the list of upcoming shows to decide the good, the bad, and the ugly!

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Oh god smoke grenades. What a clusterfuck this is awful.

I genuinely believe the smoke screen must be to make the game less laggy around all the destructables. This area is far more compact, with more enemies, and far more explodable things, so it could make sense.

Also lets be fair, doves are just pidgeons with credibility. They’re rat birds.

…okay this level is bad but that boss fight…that was comedy gold.

God this level is just so bad. The museum’s such a squandered set piece since rather than have a bunch of weird environmental kill opportunities it’s just a swarm of gunners every few rooms with objects that just function for cover. It’s weird when I can say that the harbor level was a bit more interesting mechanically with regards to level design.

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This game is incredibly 2004. Which is odd, considering it came out in 2007.

:siren: UPDATE TIME! :siren:

Today, in our penultimate update, Tequila has finally learned the truth behind Jimmy Wong’s actions and the feud between Dragon Claw and Golden Kane! Now faced with the understanding that all his work was to ultimately lead to his wife’s death, Tequila is out for a newer revenge, and there’s only one person that can help him out now. It’s time for Tequila to join up with Yung Gi, leader of the Golden Kane, and save his daughter! While enacting vengeance against his father-in-law, of course.

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Strangehold coming with a trailer for The Wheelman is right up there with “The entirety of To Kill A Mockingbird is viewable within The Darkness” in terms of ridiculous video game/movie crossovers.

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So, how many more revenge plots are going to appear by the final video? 3, maybe 4 more?

Like, you could’ve just stuck with one reason for Tequila to murder literally every criminal but they just kept writing more and more.

Do you really want this plot to make sense, though?

:siren: FINAL SUPER UPDATE TIME! :siren:

Today, it’s time for the thrilling conclusion to Stranglehold! Tequila has pushed ol’ Jimmy Wong back to his beautiful estate, and he’s ready to really ruin the property value of the area! With the entirely of the Dragon Claw triad hiding in the house, Tequila’s gonna need all his wits about him if he plans to survive this encounter and save his daughter!

Thanks for watching! If everything doesn’t go to shit in the next several weeks, the next group LP should be ready in time for Halloween week, with something thematically appropriate!

:siren: WOW, A PODCAST! :siren:


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And one more podcast to send the thread off with! Today, Xain and I talk about all the anime we watched over the previous season, which ended up being a surprising collection of hits after a sort of lukewarm start! We also get very hashtag relatable about millennial things and talk about some Halloween plans!

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Thanks for the fun LP, Chorps! This may not have been a good game but it sure was a late period Midway game.

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That was a great LP of a…game.

Excited to see what’s next!

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The final level has an unfairly hard helicopter fight. This really is Alpha Protocol.

Tequila deserves a better game. Thanks for the LP!

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