Click Here for Update 11
: We’re back at it again. Drcakey in the thread pointed out that I missed another typo, bringing the Typo Counter to 74. Now it’s time to actually do something in Fishington.
: I’m not sure if this was open the entire time and I just didn’t notice it or what, but there’s a ladder in one of the corners we can use now.
: There’s a great heart down a second pushable ladder.
Typo Counter: 75 (Failed to capitalize after a full stop)
: There’s a wall of barrels that we can just walk around because of this game’s horrible movement system.
: On the other side of that strip of land is a fishing pole. We need this for exactly one thing - opening a dungeon.
: You can fish in a couple of different spots, but there’s no point. The fishing rod is context-sensitive and doing it anywhere but Egg Harbor is pointless.
: As far as I can tell, the way it works is that you cast the line, and then it’ll just sit there for a bit until a fish decides to start moving toward it - the fish on the line here was on the opposite side of the pond and just decided to magnetize itself to the hook.
: Once you pick up the fishing pole, an event opens in Egg Harbor, on the south-west side.
: This puts Roy inside a circle of people like it’s a fight in Yakuza or something.
: What we’re supposed to do is fish off the pier, except here’s what happens when I press the button.
: Roy has a casting animation for fishing, and instead of playing it, the game just cycles through a bunch of unrelated dialogue and then teleports him into the “fishing” position.
: Oh, right. If you look at the bottom you’ll notice there’s a mermaid in the pond. You can’t catch it.
: As soon as we catch something, a giant fish appears and eats it.
: And now we have our next dungeon. I’m not sure what (if anything) stops you from doing this the first time you get here, other than maybe a softlock and/or save breaking bug.
Typo Counter: 76
: All of the NPCs have their dialog set to this, so technically this is like.. 20 or 30 typos.
: Note that this is the exact same room they used for when we went inside the Fish King a few updates ago, only without the color.
: There’s a bottle mermaid here. I actually checked the save file, and of the mermaids we’ve found so far we’ve only actually gotten credit for 3.
: This is basically Dodongo’s Cavern from Ocarina of Time, only dumber and shittier.
: As soon as we walk in, there’s a thing of regenerating grass - unlike regular grass, this has collision - and some random spider enemies.
: The north part has a laser barrier controlled by a switch, which I think was meant to be a puzzle. We can easily bypass it.
: What we want to do is push this bomb out of the room and to the left.
: This is a process that takes fucking forever - it’s at least thirty or forty seconds of just pushing a bomb.
: Doing this clears the boulder in the middle of the room…
: Except now there’s a SECOND boulder we have to push the same bomb to. Genius game designer at work right here.
: This room. This fucking room. This room is the single most broken piece of shit in the entire game thus far.
: The way it works is like this. There’s two switches - one on the left side, and one on the right. There’s also two sets of laser barriers.
: The way forward involves toggling a switch remotely - the lower barrier needs to be on for these barriers to be off. Sounds simple enough, right? It would be.. if this game was coded competently.
: It’s hard to get a screenshot of without dying, because there’s invisible enemies on the walls shooting at you at all times, but the left-side switch also toggles a conveyor belt that moves toward the switch.
: What you’re supposed to do is push a bomb near, but not onto, the conveyor belt - for some reason, the bomb has a collision box but no hitbox when it’s on the conveyor. Actually, I know what the reason is and it’s the shitty movement that Brian coded.
: You hit the bomb to light it, and then push it onto the conveyor belt, using the time in between to cross the lower barrier.
SOFTLOCK COUNTER: 8
: Unfortunately, doing this is a fucking nightmare. The bomb will more often than not get caught on the re-growing grass next to the conveyor. It doesn’t help that Mark will continually slash at the invisible wall enemies and can fuck with the switch if you go near it.
: In this case, I got stuck between a bomb and the switch, and couldn’t move. And with this, I believe we’ve passed the number of softlocks I ran into in YIIK.
: Yep, we did.
: There’s something fundamentally broken about this puzzle beyond simply the collision, but it took me a minute to understand.
: What happens is that when the bomb explodes, it activates the switch twice. This means that the conveyor belt solution simply doesn’t work - we’d need the belt to be on to get the bomb to hit the switch, and to get it in the right configuration for the bomb to work the conveyor would need to be off.
: What I wound up doing is cheesing the puzzle. See how the bomb is placed in the last screenshot? As it turns out, you can shoot arrows diagonally through the laser barrier.
: It took a bit of finagling, but I managed to put the bomb in a spot near the right-side switch where I could hit it consistently through the laser grid. This is a lot harder than you’d think because the pit tends to eat arrows.
: Much better.
: There’s another laser barrier on the conveyor belt here you have to turn off while you’re riding it.
: What I like is how we haven’t even seen this room yet. I had no idea where this was.
: The right side is open, and now we need to do another dumb bomb puzzle.
: Now we need to backtrack a couple of rooms to get to where we shut the lasers off. First, we need to go up here - it’s a very narrow passage on the upper-right side.
: We then need to kick a bomb through a hole to the lower part of this room, and then walk all the way around.
: Doing this opens a new path into an entirely new kind of hell. You thought the dungeon was bad before, wait until you see this shit.
: Dropping down the hole puts us in a fight with a mini-boss. The boss will track Roy’s movement left and right, and hitting it will only knock it backward. The guide author had no idea what the shit to do with this boss, but I did.
: Behind the boss is a spike wall. You’re supposed to attack it to push it backward into the spikes.
: This lets us open a door in the main room.
: Meet the swimsuit. It is part of something even more broken than that bomb puzzle.
Typo Counter: 77
Typo Counter: 78
: I’m going to skip the tutorial text, except for this typo.
: This is the changing room.
: The swimsuit lets us dive in certain pools of water.
: The swimming controls are fucking godawful and I died probably six or seven times on the next few parts because they’re fucking unworkable. You have to mash the directional keys to swim, but sometimes the game will just eat your inputs.
: While underwater, Roy has an air meter instead of a life meter. Running out of air is an instant kill. Mermaids can restore your air bar, just like in Mother 3, a game I’m sure the Allansons never played despite the fan translation that came out in 2009.
: See that little column thing? There’s a few of those in the first area and I could not for the life of me figure out how to destroy them. You basically swim up and mash attack and hope Roy decides to do it.
Typo Counter: 79
: Back in the last room, we have to dive again. This is where it gets REALLY bad. See that locked sluice gate?
: We have to pull the chain up to open the door. Because the swimming controls are shit, you will just barely make it through the door.
: Who’s ready for another fucking laser puzzle, only this time with swimming?
: Oh man, special mention to this room for being very broken. You see the switch there? When you enter the room, there’s a horizontal laser right below it. If you miss the switch, it’s basically an autokill because you get stuck in the laser.
: Anyway, we need to swim through that little hole in front of Roy. I don’t know how you’re supposed to know it’s there.
: This pops us out on the other side of the lasers. We can now progress…
SOFTLOCK COUNTER: 9
: Or not. For some reason, and I have no fucking idea why, the lasers decided to switch position as soon as I went up to the next room.
: This room has infinitely spawning enemies and a series of two-way cliffs you can jump up or down.
: This boss. This boss is somehow even more broken than the bird temple one was, even though as far as I know it can’t softlock the game.
: You attack the tentacles a bit, and then this head shows up. You have about three seconds to do enough damage to it, or it instakills you.
: By default, the game equips you with the dagger Roy had at the start of the game, and you have no opportunity to switch it. What you have to do is die and then go into Roy’s bag in the Game Over Zone to change weapons to something that can hit the tentacles and do damage.
: Interestingly, the swimsuit fixes a lot of the hitbox issues - when in the swimsuit, Roy will only attack with a single forward stab.
Typo Counter: 81 (2x Typo Combo!)
: This is technically a typo, since “otherworldly” is usually one word. You know what?
Typo Counter: 82
Typo Counter: 83
: I seriously want to know how the fuck they didn’t mis-spell “possession”.
Typo Counter: 84
: The “other worldly” thing was kinda borderline. This is definitely a typo.
: To finish this part of the game, we have to go to this bridge.
: Next time, we’ll play as Bivare for a bit. There will be typos.