Down, Down, Down By the River: Let's Play Baldur's Gate 3

[Timrod]

Summary

: Welcome back to Baldur’s Gate 3. It’s time to find out what I’ve been saving all those explosives for. Before we can go into the lower city, we need to go into Gortash’s Gooncave.

: The gate is guarded by yet another corrupt guard who wants either 10,000 gold or one of the two passes (either Arfur’s or Valeria’s) to let you through. You can also teleport around her.

: Doing this gets you an inspiration for Astarion.

: “Halt. We do not know how you gained entry, but your trespass shall not be punished. Lord Gortash has been expecting you.”

Narrator: “The Watcher’s presence fades, but another takes its place. Confident, dominant, asserting.”

: “My most esteemed guest, we meet at last. I am Lord Enver Gortash. I am pregnant with Naruto’s other child. You are the Prism-bearer, slayer of the dread General Ketheric Thorm.”

: He invites us to his inauguration as king, but we’re going to skip that for a bit. The reason why is that as soon as we entered the fortress, a timer starts.

: The timer is for five long rests, but we’re going to handle it right away.

: To do that, all we need to do is take the first door on the left - which we’d want to do anyway since it has the warp point for this area in it.

: From there, we take the stairs down to the prison.

: This guy’s just asking for death.

: You don’t necessarily have to kill the guards, but that would require blowing spells.

: They’re worth 10 owlbears of EXP each and die in two hits.

: We can see that Florrick is locked up awaiting execution.

: At this point, something unintentionally hilarious happens. I took a screenshot to show this acid barrel is here, and then..

: Another guard, who is on the other side of a closed door, somehow psychically knew we took a key from the guard we killed.

: Why is that one worth 250 exp?

: He’s probably smuggling some owlbears in that coat.

: This alerts three other guards, who all die before they can accomplish anything. If you don’t get psychic guard aggro, you can probably board this up with chests and just walk on by.

: “You might as well lock the cell. You’re too late. It’s over.”

: “Florrick? What have they done to you?”

: “I don’t speak of myself, High Harper. I speak of the city itself- we came too late. It’s over.”

: “So you’re giving up, just like that?”

: “There’s no escape from this place.”

: “The Fist can go hang themselves - we’re getting you out.”

: At this point, we need to persuade her to leave. It’s not hard. There is a way around this if you do Gortash’s entire questline before coming here.

: The easiest way out is through this locked door at the other end of the prison.

: All we need to do is blast down a wall, and the quest is complete.

: Florrick is another ally for the final battle, and now we no longer need to worry about the timer. Now it’s time to kill Gortash the correct way.

: The audience chamber is on the opposite side of the hallway from the prison.

: He’s got a total of eight fanfiction gundams with him. I tried to kill them all in my first playthrough and as far as I can tell it’s impossible without using tons of explosives.

: Even the “I’m so hardcore look at me do this game with no rests and no glitches” guy on SA didn’t kill them.

: By the way, DO NOT BRING KARLACH HERE.

: The game will happily let you try and kill Gortash, which won’t work because like Ketheric and Orin, he is fanfiction. He has nearly 500 HP on balanced.

: Gortash tries to make a deal with us: we kill Orin and then rule Baldur’s Gate together.

: He’ll also tell us about the fake Minthara. We already know.

: He then forces you to watch him get crowned by the duke. Again, I’m skipping this because it’s boring.

: You know what? Fuck this guy. He’s the same as that TV fucker.

: While he’s standing there, let’s kidnap him.

: “HELP! AMBER ALERT! THEY’RE STEALING ME AND MY UNBORN CHILDREN! PLURAL!”

: You can also kidnap him to the checkpoint and try to push him off a cliff, but that’s a lot harder to do without him initiating combat, which takes forever because everything in the fortress gets a turn.

: We’re going to need a lot of explosives, and I mean a lot of explosives. This is every oil barrel in the game up to this point, plus the two boxes of fireworks.

: “FETUS DELETUS!”

: All of this is barely enough to take him out on balanced. We also kill several dozen bystanders and alert every guard in a five-mile radius.

: You might ask “What do you miss by killing Gortash this way?” and the answer is not much. You miss out on one ally and one of my favorite scenes in Act 3. That’s about it.

: Oh, and Gortash’s outfit. It looks pretty good on Pollux even though it doesn’t do anything special - it gives you advantage on Intimidate and Intuition. There is a transmog mod that exists, but I don’t know how well it works and I’ve seen reports of it crashing the game.

: This is also the easiest way to get this achievement, which is funny because I’ve never fought him the “real” way. If I had known about this bug on my first run I probably would’ve finished it.

: We’re going to skip the coronation for now because it’s not important. Technically it is for Wyll’s plot line but who gives a shit about Wyll? I don’t think Wyll even gives a shit about Wyll.

: We are going to skip A LOT of the lower city. The only thing we want right now is to advance Jaheira’s quest. To do that, we need to talk to her twice.

: “I have not been overly generous with the truth. I came here to learn of the Chosen, true enough. But I set my Harpers searching for someone else, too.”

: “Tell me, what do you know of a man named Minsc of Rashemen?”

: Minsc is the original Frank. He was a party member in the first two games, where he fought with his pet, a “miniature giant space hamster” named Boo.

: We really SHOULD wait on this quest because it involves some bullshit combat that we can’t tactics our way out of. In fact, I’m not actually going to bring Jaheira for that fight.

: “Ah! Oh my gods, Minsc!”

Narrator: The name is as familiar as Jaheira’s own - a hero of the Time of Troubles who saved the city more than once.

: Minsc existing in this game is a plot contrivance. He’s human, and thus shouldn’t be alive 100 years later.

: And I shouldn’t have been 55 for the last seventy years. Damn physics immunity.

: You’re immune to physics?

: And only physics. Not thermodynamics, not biology, not whatever radiation counts as. Definitely not lasers, because those are thermodynamics.

: “There isn’t a Baldurian alive who doesn’t know of that name.”

: “But few know of his fate, I think. I had hoped to keep it that way. Minsc is an old friend - perhaps my oldest. We fought at one another’s backs times beyond counting. And the last time I saw him, I left him to die.”

: In BG1, you pick up Minsc and Jaheira as a group.

: “What happened?”

: “Before we ever heard of the Absolute, we received word of a gathering in the Undercity. What we found was the first dark seed of this plot - a circle of cultists, with mind flayers in their midst.”

: “We might have ended it there, cut off at the root. But before I could send for help, Minsc charged in alone. It was chaos. He was overrun, dragged down beneath a mass of tentacles. I had a choice: stay, and let word of this cult die with us. Or leave him, and live to fight another day.”

: I’m going to cut out some of the extraneous dialog and move right along to the second cutscene.

: Jaheira suggests we visit the local mafia head, who lives in the sewers. The sewer entrance is something we have to be careful about because of that quest with the little girl.

: Let me explain how that works. The moment we entered the lower city, that quest went into a hidden second phase. If we were to long rest, it would immediately trigger.

: “Astarion. Have you seen the fake Minthara following us around? Any obvious shapeshifters?”

: “She’s definitely following us. Keeps changing shape, but I can tell it’s her.”

: “I need you to go back to camp. Bring Jaheira and Karlach with you. Send Halsin here, and have him bring Lae’zel and Gale. I want everyone else to head to the Elfsong down the road and rent rooms. Stay three to a room.”

: “And what will you do?”

: “I’m going back to camp.”

: “You. This way. Quickly. Eyes down. Good. Nobody saw you arrive - that will be to our advantage.”

: “You’re covered in gore. What happened?”

: “My life is in danger. As I knew it would be from the moment I joined you. Wyll asked to speak with me alone, and the moment my back was turned, he tried to kill me.”

: “He didn’t stand a chance. I dealt with him.”

: “Nice try, bitch.”

: “HOW WAS THE MEAT PUPPET KNOWING IT WAS ME?!”

: “Simple. We knocked out Minthara.. only after we killed Ragzlin, I started having second thoughts. That was when Astarion spotted you.”

: “I went back and slit her throat, and you had no idea.”

: “HARPERS! ATTACK!”

: It’s time I came clean about something anyone who has played this before knows: there is no fake Minthara. I made all of that up. I wanted to dunk on Orin because she sucks, and I wanted to do the Persona 5 “fast-forwarded cutscene” thing but better.

: I thought you were talking about this scene the whole time.

: It IS true that talking to Yenna starts a hidden quest. The quest has flags that activate under a number of circumstances. One is attending Gortash’s coronation. Another is making it into the lower city for the first time. There’s a second, separate flag that happens if you wander into the wrong part of the sewers.

: Once that flag triggers, Orin kidnaps someone, and appears as them telling you that you need to find and kill her to save them. This happens the next time you long rest.

: If you know what you’re doing, you can choose who Orin takes. It’s not possible to have her not take anyone - the game has failsafes for that even if you skip all the cutscene triggers.

: When you long rest after triggering the flag, the game goes down a list:

1. Lae’zel
2. Halsin
3. Gale
4. Minthara

: If Lae’zel is dead, dating you, or in your party, it skips her and goes to the next one until it finds someone who doesn’t meet any of those conditions. It’s kinda funny because there’s nothing easier than kidnapping a dead body.

: That’s grave robbing. I don’t think that counts as kidnapping.

: The same thing happens if you hit the cutscene triggers in the sewers, but that cutscene is a little different than the one at camp.

: But what happens if it can’t pick any of those people?

: It picks Yenna instead, even if you teleported past her and never met her.

: This is why I recruited Minthara: because I wanted to let the game kidnap her in lieu of Halsin (who Pollux isn’t yet actually dating). Keep in mind that any gear the victim has left stays with them, so you can potentially miss out on certain items until Orin is dead.

: The nearest sewer entrance is maybe ten feet away. Assuming you don’t wander off, you’re in no real danger of hitting the Orin cutscene.

: We get 25 owlbears of experience just for entering the sewers.

: One hallway later and we’re in the local mafia hangout.

: Mol is here, and that kid next to her sells an item we want for Astarion.

: “Hey kid, you ever seen the old rat trick?”

: To advance the quest, we need to talk to the mafia boss.

: “It’s an orphanage, Uktar. What would you have me do - seize their toys as payment?”

: “They failed to pay tribute. We should withdraw our protection, at the very least.”

: As much as I hate orphans, I feel like I should be killing these people.

: “And cede more ground to the Stone Lord? You’re not suggesting I yield a single inch of the city - my city - to this cult?”

: “I… we already look weak. If you’re seen to be forgiving debts…”

: “I didn’t say ‘forgive’. Seize the building. Arm any children old enough. If they protect what’s mine, we’ll consider that a start on what’s owed.”

: “…Yes, guildmaster. I - excuse me? This is a private council.”

: “Keep your underpants clean, Uktar. We’re playing host to a hero. You owe me a gold piece, grandmother. When I heard you died out in the wilderness, I made an offering at Kelemvor’s well.”

: Kelemvor is Faerun’s god of death. He showed up in Baldur’s Gate 2.

: “Of gold? I did not know I meant so much to you, guildmaster.”

: “I’m terribly sentimental. case in point - I’ve just let a Harper walk through my Guildhall, noticeably unholed. Because I’m curious. About why you’re here - and who it is you’ve brought with you.”

: “This is the one who saved my life. So really, he owes you your gold piece. But we can settle debts later, Nine-Fingers. For now, we need help - we’re searching for Minsc of Rashemen.”

: “A big name, that. Such information does not come cheap, High Harper. Not in normal times. Of course.. seeing as these are not normal times, and we’re all such good friends, I’ll do better than that. I’m bringing him here as we speak.”

: “Or, parts of him at least. I gave no orders about the condition of his corpse.”

: “What treachery is this, Nine-Fingers? Have you thrown in with the Absolute, too?”

: “Against my own city? Careful - you’re in very real danger of hurting my feelings. It’s Minsc who’s found his faith with Faerun’s newest god. And a new name with it - The Stone Lord.”

: “Lies.”

: “You say that name as if it means something.”

: “It should. My people speak it in the same breath as Sarevok and Demogorgon, but he’s just another upstart.”

: Stranger Things reference!

: “In his short reign, the Stone Lord and his crew have earned a reputation. Pure brutality. No survivors. And where he mows my people down, this ripe little cult takes root.”

: I’m going to cut the rest of this. It goes on for another 20 lines of dialog that tell you NOTHING.

: Uktar will tell you where Minsc is.

: “I am interested in gaining access to vaults beneath the Counting House. I pay well for keys to those vaults, provided said vaults are not emptied prematurely. I suspect that what you seek might also be found beneath the Counting House.”

: On the way to the counting house, we run into some doppelgangers trying to kill a dwarven couple at a wine tasting.

: Attacking them makes them all turn into the same dwarf, who is presumably the dwarf we’re looking to kill from Valeria’s quest.

: They’re a non-threat.

: If you don’t attack on sight, the dwarven couple drinks poison and dies - and the timer for that ticks down the moment you see them.

: Normally, you need to sneak into the bank, but if you have Jaheira she gets a vault pass from the banker.

: Down the stairs is an area we can loot for several thousand gold.

: At this point, I need to take Jaheira out and put Lyselle in. We are about to run into a combat situation I can best describe as “impossible unless you have see invisible”.

: The final door is guarded by a puzzle. There are two solutions - you can either know what the combination is by sneaking a druid into a room and reading a book, or you can toss water on the floor and electrify it.

: The combination is top left, top right, middle, middle-right.

Cashguard Artillerist Loretta: “It’s still moving.”

Rakath Glitterbeard: “Hush you fussing. Nine-Fingers had this one made especially - that little mouthful will barely slow it down.”

Cashguard Artillerist Loretta: “But the stories-”

Rakath Glitterbeard: “Stories. Tall tales and big names, lad. Don’t let them fool you. Elminster the archmage. Drizzt the drow exile. Heroes have power, aye - but not half so much as we do. A little coin into the right purse. A soft word in the right ear. It’s not gory that spins these planes, lad. It’s gold.”

: “There is no gold in here. If there is one thing Minsc hates more than beasts with bad breath…”

: Did he just throw that mimic directly through that man?

: They definitely didn’t suspect someone would freeze-frame it just right.

: “It is those who are tricksome with the truth. And turnips. But you are no turnip. Let that be of comfort, in your final moments.”

: I think we’ve just found our new martial.

: “Meet Minsc. He still seems very much himself to me.”

: “You.”

: “Stone Lord? Better to call yourself Stone Head.”

: “Your false face does not fool my eyes. I will cut until you look like the monster you truly are.”

: That bitch took our Frank.

: This fight is bad for several reasons, chief among them that the game does this weird fanfiction version of the See Invisible spell that doesn’t work anywhere near how it’s supposed to.

: I don’t trust those invisible types. All these people falling for “Invisible Gal” or whatever her name is.

: The way See Invisible is meant to work is kinda complicated and is one of the biggest pains to achieve on an actual tabletop. Let me show you exactly how it’s meant to work.

: Here we have Astra on a blank grid. Each square represents 5 feet. She casts See Invisible, which only works on herself. I’ve marked out roughly where a 30-foot radius would be because diagonals are fucky.

: There are plenty of places that sell AOE markers, but for now we’ll say this is close enough. Any square inside that blue shape is considered a spot the spell works.

: Now let’s say that Mara has gone invisible. Right now, Astra can’t see him because he’s not in the range of her spell. He can detect magic on her and try to figure out if she’s got see invisible up.

: This is the point at which BG3 diverges into a stupid fanfiction. In the real game, once Mara steps into the spell radius, Astra can see him. He’s still invisible to everyone else nearby, and the spell doesn’t remove his invisibility - if he steps out of that radius, she can’t see him anymore.

: No one can hide from me!

: In BG3, Mara instead gets a save once he steps into her spell, with the DC equal to Astra’s casting DC. If he fails, he loses invisibility altogether and everyone can see him.

: Second fanfiction: The invisible enemies all have Sanctuary cast on them, which makes them unable to be hit unless they hit first (or you use an AOE).

: Sanctuary exists in 5E, but it doesn’t work this way. For one thing, it only lasts for a minute. For another, you’re supposed to get a save to bypass it - but you don’t.

: The description is nearly word-for-word identical between 3.5E and 5E (both versions).

: If the spell worked like this in 3.5E, every wizard would demand a cleric be with them at all times to keep sanctuary up while they start summoning things.

: Third fanfiction: The enemies who aren’t invisible have a fanfiction condition called “unstoppable” that reduces the first two instances of damage they take to 1. This is fucking RAGE INDUCING to me.

: 3.5E never had a mechanic like this anywhere in the game. Why? Because it would make it virtually impossible to distinguish a legit mechanic from a bad GM.

: Techically, Unstoppable isn’t a fanfic - but only technically. It appears in Descent to Avernus, but it has several notable restrictions. It can only be used as a reaction (ie; once per turn) and has to be declared by the GM after someone attacks but before the attack roll. This means it’s possible to blow Unstoppable on attacks that wouldn’t have hit.

: BG3 makes it an auto-trigger that can trigger an infinite number of times per turn and doesn’t cost a reaction. This is the point at which you get up and leave the table.

: The bullshit part is that the hooded guys can turn invisible as a free action at the end of their turn, which gives them a new save against See Invisible that they shouldn’t be allowed in the first place.

: One of them managed to kill Lyselle because the game fucked up and forgot to render her, so I lost track of where she was.

: The second attempt also goes poorly because the enemies can throw daggers for 40 damage on balanced due to another fanfiction ability that automatically doubles their damage.

: This is no longer “stand up and leave the table” territory. This is now “punch the GM” territory. This is why people quit the game in Act 3, because the combat is a bad fanfiction.

: On a third attempt, I finally finish the fight. I never did this quest line on my first playthrough because I didn’t know it existed until I was already checked out and didn’t really give a shit about Jaheira.

: The thing is, this encounter is only difficult because the game is outright cheating.

: If the head banker dies, he drops a key to one of the vaults in this room. You can take the armor or sell it to the guy in the mafia for money.

: We now need to go all the way across the map because, and I am not kidding, Pollux spotted some mud and knew which part of the sewers it came from.

: That’s some real compelling writing right there.

: It is kind of strange that Pollux has an encyclopedic knowledge of sewer mud.

: On the way there, we run into the front door to Sorcerous Sundries, the store Gale wanted us to go to. Aradin is out front, and we’ll ignore him for now.

: There is a VERY rare scene that happens here with Aradin that requires something very specific to happen.

: Remember back in the druid grove when Aradin got into that fight with Zevlor, and Pollux defused it? If you don’t defuse it, Aradin shows up near the goblin camp with most of his friends dead.

: If your character is a cleric and you talk to Aradin there, you can bless the bodies. However, there are three specific gods (Helm, Tyr, and Tempus) who get a special reaction from him. Once you reach this spot, he’ll berate you over it if you talk to him here.

: I didn’t know about this until we were well past that part, otherwise I’d have done it. I think I found out about it sometime around the point when we killed Ethel.

: Rolan is manning the front desk because we saved him, and he’ll ask us to turn in Aylin to his boss for cash. We’re.. not doing that.

: This place has some VERY good items. Pollux finally replaces the headband of intellect he’s been wearing since the start of the game.

: He also has the best armor for caster druids.

: And this ring, which can combo into a couple of different things. This goes to Lyselle. On top of all this, he’s carrying a shitload of good scrolls.

: While you can kidnap him, if Rolan isn’t alive you instead get a projection of the store owner that I don’t think can be kidnapped. I wound up using the rat trick, but we had enough gold to get everything that would’ve mattered.

: Have this shot of Pollux’s very cursed hat. This is why I hide it by default. The magic store has a couple of other items we really want, but we can come back for those.

: I wound up going the wrong way and hitting the park. Do not go in the park. There are more fanfiction cultists there, and we’re not fighting them without an elaborate barricade.

: This manhole is where the game wants us to go, but we’re not doing that. Instead, we’re going to use a hidden back entrance near the worst dungeon in the game - the spot where I quit.

: The reason is that going down here starts a fight with an really annoying moron and while we could kill him, it’s not worth it right now. We’re here for Minsc.

: On the way, we run into the weird blood lady from Moonrise exploding her own shop.

: This is the Steel Watch Foundry, or as I refer it it, the Fanfiction Factory.

: A bunch of cultists have Volo chained to a chair sitting in front of eight explosive barrels. We could fight them, but that’s annoying.

: The trick to this one is making sure you don’t win too hard.

: There’s no way to stop them setting the trail of booze on fire. It goes off even if you cheat and instantly kill all the cultists.

: Using this warp point, you can get Astarion behind the barrels.

: Go into turn-based mode and steal them all from stealth. Once you grab the first one, the booze will ignite - but we don’t care. Save those precious barrels.

: Volo will eventually fall down once the cart is destroyed. He’s saved. Hooray.

: At this point, we don’t even have to deal with the cultists. The only reason we had to engage them at all is because they’ll kill Volo if we take too long.

: Just stand on the ramp and put a couple of AOEs at the bottom, fight over.

: Our actual destination is at the top of the ramp, in this garden. We want to take this route because it gives us the best position for the next fight.

: The basement has two pressure plates on either end.

: We get even more explosives, though unfortunately they’re not smokepowder.

Boss Friol: “All the coin’s there - my thanks. It sounds like you made quite a mess getting it, too - all in a day’s work for the Lord of Murder, eh? And you, big man. When did you start worshipping gods? Did they give your wee rodent a worm friend, too?”

: Remember that zhentarim trader from Moonrise who uh.. had that unfortunate accident in the Fuck Zone? She’d be here if we hadn’t killed her.

: That was a lot of.. accidents.

: “Rodent…?”

: Skipping a couple lines of dialog that don’t involve Frank.

: “Wait.”

Narrator: Suddenly, another presence looms in your mind. Another tadpole.

: “Some sneak-thief lurks nearby. The same one I sensed in the Counting House. I CAN TASTE YOUR THOUGHTS, COWARD! COME OUT, SO I MAY SPILL THEM ON THE GROUND!”

: We get into a fight against a shitload of cultists.. except we start on a raised platform with only one way up.

: I’m surprised they didn’t make that ladder unbreakable.

: All of the enemies have rushed to the ladder, and then Pollux dumps a Hunger of Hadar at the bottom. This breaks the enemy AI.

: The only thing to watch out for is that one of the cultists has Slow.

: When attacking Minsc, it is critical that you DO NOT KILL HIM. If you kill Minsc, you lose out on him and Jaheira leaves the camp permanently.

Narrator: Against the darkness swarming his senses, a single light glows - rage, flaring brighter every moment.

: “Killed.. her…”

: “Get rid of him.”

: “You can either protect him, or I can come back in that prism and exterminate you.”

: “AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!”

: “Don’t be foolish. He is too unpredictable - he will only be a hindrance to us.”

: “Try me.”

: If you have Jaheira with you, she will automatically force the mind flayer to accept Minsc. Pollux has to make a check.

Narrator: His mind unfolds beneath yours, a still lake pulls you down into its depths. Images flash by - battles fought, and friends fallen.

Narrator: His rage grows colder, burrows deeper, as a familiar face crystallizes before you.

: “Jaheira. YOU KILLED HER!”

1. Counter with an image of your own: Jaheira, alive and well, your ally in the fight against the Absolute.
2. That was a doppleganger. Think.
3. I saved her, you big lumbering fool.
4. Attack.

: “Jaheira is alive. The real one. We saved her.”

Narrator: The instant’s hesitation is enough: with a sensation of terrible rending, something vast and nameless falls away from his mind.

: “There. It is done.”

In the sudden silence, your minds merge once more. More memories, sensations, but passing too quickly for you to track. In the same breath, you share everything that happened to you. The nautiloid. The Absolute. The Chosen of the Dead Three."

: “You. You saved Minsc while he danced like a mind flayer’s meat puppet. Why?”

: “Because you’re a Frank.”

: “A level head and a kind heart. It is well that Boo kept me from crushing either.”

: “He is.. he is…Where is he?!”

: The chests have nothing interesting, but we’ll take them for building walls later. More importantly, that fight put us at 11th level.

: Pollux gets access to Irresistible Dance, which is the only reason to play a pure bard this far. Irresistible Dance is a bog-standard save-or-suck in 3.5E that most people will tell you not to take because it’s not worth wasting a 6th-level spell slot.

: In BG3, it’s actually pretty okay. It GUARANTEES a one-turn stun during which all attacks have advantage, and then continues until the target makes a save.

:

: Karlach gets a third attack per turn, which is great because I’m benching her for Minsc.

: Lyselle gets access to 6th level spells. One of these is mission-critical to killing Raphael.

: Globe of Invulnerability is one of the few instances of fanfiction being on our side. The real spell is TRASH - it makes a dome around the caster that blocks spells of 4th level or lower.

: Instead, it makes EVERYONE IN THE GLOBE IMMUNE TO DAMAGE. I cannot understate how overpowered this is. If the tabletop game worked like this, you would not see a single wizard without this spell.

: Astarion gets a second main hand attack per turn, which is good.

: “My friend. From our brief sharing of skulls, I know you have faced many strange beings. But none like this! Whatever happens, show no fear, and stay your hand. Trust in Minsc!”

: “I trust you. I think.”

: “Minsc finds that the less thinking he does, the easier the trusting comes.”

: “WAIT! You gaze into Minsc’s soul and see his foul crimes! You smell the stench of evil upon him, pointy claws primed, ready to scratch out his eyes!”

: “I am sorry, my friend! I am at the mercy of your faultless justice! If you must burrow through my blackened heart - I am ready.”

: “No? You are certain? Such boundless compassion! You are all heart! And whiskers. And cute little nose. You are right, of course. There is still much evil for Boo and Minsc to stamp out - but we need not fight it alone!”

: “I have a new face to show you. But it is not a villainous one for the clawing, understand?”

: “You, this is Boo. And Boo - meet you.”

: “It’s an honor.”

: “No - it is a hamster. A miniature giant space hamster. Fear not, you will learn the difference in time. Those villains locked Boo away, lest his righteous gaze cause their tadpole to flee in terror.”

: Minsc wasn’t quite this unhinged in the first two games.

: “Now we are together again, all will be exactly as - Boo. Why do you use such language? …Once more, my hamster proves himself my greater half, and makes the path clear when my mind is fuzzier than his tiny bottom.”

: Next time, we’ll raid the back of the magic store and then do Shadowheart’s character quest, where we’ll meet another returning character from BG2.