Down, Down, Down By the River: Let's Play Baldur's Gate 3

[Timrod]

Summary

: Welcome back to Baldur’s Gate 3! It’s time to clear out the inner part of Act 2.

: We’ll start this update by swapping Lyselle for Minthara. This gets me the mark of shame.

: Minthara starts out with a couple of illithid powers unlocked, which the game counts as “consuming a parasite”, even though no one actually has.

: What I’ll probably do is feed all our spares to Minthara, though she can’t ever unlock the really high-level illithid powers. Only Pollux could do that, and he’s not going to.

: If we go up toward the underdark exit, there’s a dead raven on the ground. I kept Lyselle around for this fight but wound up not really needing her.

: This summons a bunch of zombie ravens, which have 1 HP and a very low hit chance. They get a surprise round, but against this party they’re a non-threat.

: Each one is worth two owlbears of experience, which means they’re worth fighting.

: Imagine how much an owlbear would be worth if we fought one scaled up to this level.

: Right nearby is a night orchid. If you ever bother to talk to Shadowheart, you’d know these are her favorite flower.

: Giving her one of these gets you a point in her SECOND hidden point system. You need four points to make her not be an idiot.

: I’ll leave giving it to her for bonus content. For now, we’re going to head to the toll house we skipped earlier.

: The toll collector is a giant gold monstrosity, and there are a bunch of these floating “visages” around. Normally, this is a gimmick fight that initiates when you go upstairs. However…

: No one ever does this fight on honor mode. Let’s take a look at why.

: The toll collector is covered in gold armor. Killing one of the skulls removes one piece of the armor. The armor is always removed in the same order: the gloves go first, which disables her coin whips.

: She starts with 607 HP (on tactician) and loses 100 HP per armor piece. This leads to a scramble to kill the skulls quickly so that you can bring her down to her minimum of 7 HP.

: Unless, of course, you realize that part of her patrol route takes her in front of this window.

: This removes all but one piece of her armor. Killing one skull removes it all, leaving her with a maximum HP of 7.

: All she needs is one good shot, and she’s dead. The skulls all disappear when she dies.

: Doing it this way gets us three inspirations: one for Astarion, one for Pollux, and one for Minthara.

: Once Gerringothe is dead, we can explore the toll office, which has a couple of small puzzles in it. This door leads to her office, and is opened with a key from her corpse.

: Alternatively, you can just pick the lock.

: Pollux spots some rotting floorboards, which lead to a secret room on the first floor.

: Before we go down, there’s a shield in a chest against the wall. It’s a item for Halsin that you’d only probably use if you intend on Halsin being a caster.

: There’s not much of interest down below, just money. The camera is very fucky for getting down there, and the best way is to have a low-strength character push someone down.

: The button on the wall opens a secret door leading outside.

: The safe Gerringothe keeps looking at is stuck and needs a strength check to open. There’s 500 gold inside.

: This back room has some gloves that are good for Minthara and almost no one else, unless you’re running one of those stupid magic builds on Lae’zel or Karlach.

: The only other thing of note on the second floor is this safe, which has a note next to it.

If you find the safe - I’m inside! Had to shut myself in to avoid the shadows. There’s no gold, if you’re thinking of killing me for it - Gerringothe moved it all to her personal coffers, and I’m unarmed anyway. Just let me out when the shadows are gone, and I’ll find a way to repay you. I’ve only got three candles with me, so hurry!

[The combination to the safe has been written in big, bold handwriting below.]

: At least he’s free now, I guess.

: All that’s inside is a supply pack, which goes with all the other supplies we’re never going to use until Act 3.

: Gerringothe drops 600 gold (100 per armor piece) and a mace, along with a de-powered version of a spell scroll. If you’re dumb enough to give her 5,000 gold she gives you a “signed trade visa” which lets you turn someone to gold for 4 rounds.

: And finally, the basement. The basement is only really useful if you plan on talking your way past Gerringothe.

: It has a back room with a soul coin, some vendor trash, and a logbook.

[This messy financial ledger records an ‘Import Tax’ charged to merchants by the Reithwin tollhouse. The tax was clearly excessive, and included gems and jewelry in addition to gold. Several notes are scrawled on the final page.]

trade slowing. merchants scared of ketheric. nervous of war.

he WILL NOT take my due.

: There’s a sub-basement as well that has nothing of value in it, just some lore (involving a mason trying to dig a tunnel into the office) and more vendor trash.

: I forgot that there’s a second secret room Karlach or Minthara can jump into from outside. It has nothing important inside except a bad gimmick necklace.

: I love being set on fire every time I take fire damage. Who doesn’t? I mean, apart from literally everyone.

: Barbecue Pit does, and that’s why no one teams up with Barbecue Pit. Can’t trust a man who likes being on fire.

: Across from the tollhouse is the statue that features on every loading screen for Act 2. This is where the drider and his group would be if we had done the dialogue route.

: Instead, there’s a couple of shadows and some zombie harpers. These will join the drider if he’s here, which is why talking him out of the moonlantern is a bad idea.

: They go down without too much trouble.

Narrator: “You see a man drain his tankard in an inn as he listens to a Flaming Fist play the lute. He’s better than his uniform might suggest.”

: This shadow has a hint as to something important for Halsin’s quest. We’ll get to that this update because the rest of the Fuck Zone is kind of nothing.

: The statue has plaques on it that if read clockwise from this point will open a hidden door. They read:

“OUR LADY OF LOSS
MISTRESS OF PAIN
WHEN NIGHT FALLS
THORM SHALL RISE”

: Shar was someone’s fetish, wasn’t she.

: There was a reason everyone in the 70s understood that D&D was a game for horny nerds.

: The door leads to a bunch of Shar statues. We will come back here later with Shadowheart. The statues have stat checks that give you a buff if you make them.

: From what I remember, there’s a forced long rest after we do the point of no return, and we’ll want to come back for these after we do that so we have the buffs for Ketheric.

: I’m mostly going to skip over the mason’s guild. There’s not much in it other than vendor trash.

: The mason’s guild has a basement, and the key we got from the tiefling kid goes here. This is why I don’t understand how he got it.

: We put the key in (or just pick the lock), find a trapped treasure chest that has nothing in it, and then come to the final room.

: The final room has a wraith in it, along with a couple of shadows we can’t see. The wraith extinguishes light sources, allowing the shadows to stay invisible.

: I wound up bringing in Shadowheart and throwing a daylight out, which did nothing because the wraith extinguishes it. This is a bug.

: The real trick is to get Shadowheart the Blood of Lathander and have her run in there and blind it, at which point everyone dumps on it until it dies.

: The only thing of import here is this letter.

• How quickly things change. The Thorms are Selunite through and through - or so I believed. Perhaps Ketheric only converted for Melodia, and with her death - and then his daughter’s - his faith died too. But to turn to Shar? It beggars belief.

• Ketheric’s justiciars are growing greater in number, and more determined to rout out any traces of Selune in Reithwin. Why do they think this town was built? One cannot rip out the foundations of a building and expect it to remain standing.

• Brother and I remain the last two bastions of Our Lady of Silver in the town. A few - the trusting few - come to worship in secret by moonlit nights. Others - converts, all. Whether they truly believe, I cannot say. Impossible, isn’t it?

• Sick of standing idle while Justiciars gain power in our humble town. What will become of us if we allow it? I met a man who was no man. Touched by a devil. Or maybe worse. But he offered me something I couldn’t refuse - help.

• The time is now. Ketheric’s Justiciars, their stronghold in the temple below - they will be wiped out. All of them. I didn’t ask how. I just want them gone. Let the Harpers have at Ketheric now. They’ll make short work of him.

: Raphael really gets around.

: Of course he does. That’s how you know he sucks. I used to be able to buy two dozen souls an hour without leaving my throne room.

: The only treasure here is this hat, which goes with the gloves we found in the toll house.

: The top level has a map that shows you a hidden stash in the prison in Moonrise, which we can get pretty freely now that everyone there is dead.

: When you’re in the backyard of the mason’s guild, you can hear a voice coming from the graveyard next door. It’s Arabella, the tiefling girl we saved from Kagha.

: How is she surviving in an area that kills monsters in a couple of minutes?

: Fanfiction.

: “Hey - I know you! You’re -”

: “Twist 'em up!”

: “Sorry. Knocks the wind right out of me.”

1. I’d be more impressed if you’d actually killed it.
2. Arabella? You should be with your parents.
3. What are you doing out here? It’s not safe.
4. [BARD] Quite the powerful spell - bet there’s a great story behind it.

: “Quite the powerful spell - bet there’s a great story behind it.”

: “That druid idol I took? It changed me. I can do all sorts of stuff now, not just the vines. I think real hard and say some loud words and then it happens. Mostly.”

: “Hold that thought for just one moment. I’ll be right back.”

: What the fuck, Silvanus? You could’ve protected me from the curse and just didn’t?

: Maybe I would’ve, if you hadn’t gone and killed the drider before I even knew you were here!

: And what about the vines? We could have used those against that wraith.

: You can’t even wild shape correctly! The girl has better magic control than you do! Wait, where is the girl?

: Oh, she’s with Astarion and Minthara.

: You left her with WHO!?

: Hey kid, want to learn how to stab people? I’ve got some knives sharpened to an irresponsible level right here.

: Oh no, I left my stash of dark elven cocaine out where any child could snort all of it at once.

: “Where was I? Oh, right. Shouldn’t you be with your parents?”

: “I was looking. For mum and pops. When Zevlor - when he - well. There was an ambush. Mum yelled ‘run!’ So we ran.”

: “You ran into the obvious death curse? We’re over a mile from where I found all those dead tief- I mean, dead cultists.”

: “I could hear 'em running behind me. 'Til I couldn’t. Still can’t find 'em - but I bet you can. You’ll help me, I just know it!”

: “I’ll find your parents. You can count on me, if only because I know that old man won’t let me hear the end of it if I don’t.”

: “Thanks, mister. I knew you’d help me again! The vines won’t last forever. I don’t - I don’t s’pose I can stay with you? Just 'til you find mum and pops. I won’t be any trouble, I swear it.”

: “You can stay in my camp.”

: “Aw, thanks - you’re the best. So you send mum and pops there. I’ll be waiting, hero-man!”

: Her parents are in here, but we don’t want to go here yet. The reason is because it’s part of Halsin’s quest, and there’s dialog we missed.

: Instead, we’re going to go across the street, where there’s a brewery. This is something almost no one on honor mode is ever going to do, but that Pollux is uniquely suited for.

: The Waning Moon is a bar run and staffed entirely by zombies. The entire first floor is a cutscene trigger, and failing the cutscene forces you into a VERY annoying boss fight.

: Didn’t this guy sell guns in Resident Evil 8?

: “Drink, gulp it down, wet your whistle. Tell your story.”

1. What in all Nine Hells are you?
2. What is it that you’re serving?
3. Attack.

: “What is it that you’re serving?”

: “Only the best. Oblivion. And beyond. Go on. Cheers, bottoms up, down the hatch.”

1. Pick up the tankard.
2. No. I will not drink.
3. Attack.

: (I’d better pick this up, or we’re going to get in a very annoying boss fight involving him puking on people until he enters a stun state where we can oneshot him.)

Narrator: Leaning in, you can see how the creature’s skin barely holds it together. The bulge of its belly is on the cusp of bursting wide open.

: “Keep your distance. He looks like he could burst any second.”

: “Go on. Drink, make it drank, be drunk. You and I both, to our good health.”

1. [SAVING THROW] Drink with the Brewer.
2. [SLEIGHT OF HAND] Mime drinking.
3. No. I will not drink.
4. Attack.

: “Oh look, I’m drinking whatever godawful bullshit this is.”

: “Ah. Elixir. But such a small sip you take.. fear not. You will soon quaff as I do.”

: The DC for the sleight of hand check is 18, which Pollux at least has a shot at making. If you’re a rogue, it’s only 16. However..

: “Now tell me a story, a fable, a saga. Delight me.”

1. [BARD] [PERFORMANCE] From aboard a mind flayer vessel, I’ve witnessed the Hells themselves.
2. [BARD] [PERFORMANCE] I gazed on nature’s bounties in a verdant grove of druids.
3. [BARD] [PERFORMANCE] I’ve seen the goblin’s vile rituals with my own eyes.
4. [BARD] [PERFORMANCE] A silver-tongued devil bade me feast in his lavishly-appointed banquet hall.
5. [BARD] [PERFORMANCE] I ascended a great tower infused with the most powerful of magic.
6. [BARD] [PERFORMANCE] I explored a lost fortress buried deep in the Underdark’s bowels.
7. No, I will not share any stories.

: These all might seem the same, but they’re not. The first option is a DC 21. The second, third, and fourth options are DC 18. The last two are DC 16.

: “I explored a lost fortress buried deep in the Underdark’s bowels.”

: “Treasures in the dark, like the dusty anniversary bottle forgotten in the widow’s cellar. Delightful. Delicious. You ask, you drink. Then you amaze, enthuse, astoid me. Again.”

: We go through the same exact thing again, except at higher DCs.

: The stories the second go around are about combat. The DCs work exactly the same way - the higher number options have lower DCs.

: We then have to make a third sleight of hand check. This uses all of Pollux’s rerolls.

: “I - I know you. I knew, I know, I am knowing. You want father’s personal mysterious - (secret) - secret. No, not, never! Father said, ordered, commanded. Don’t say it, don’t say it! The cage. Her cage.”

: “Talk and… perish, die, buried. Buried in Thorm tomb. Father told me.”

: “I can’t perish - no, say, neither. Too strong, too…”

: At this point, Thisobald explodes. We get the same EXP as if we killed him and all of the zombies.

: He doesn’t have much on him. There are a few items in here that are mostly vendor trash or camp supplies.

: One line I missed is that if you ask him who he is, he says he’s Ketheric’s son. As far as I can tell this isn’t literally true, he’s just a zombie Ketheric made for some reason.

: There’s a book hidden under a loose board behind the bar that is used in a different quest. Thisobald’s key unlocks a hidden back room with some stuff we don’t particularly care about in it.

: Let’s move on and start the quest to unlock Pollux’s boyfriend. We could just go right into the house of healing and kill everything, but I might as well show the background.

: “Flame Cullagh - that’s your name, isn’t it? Art Cullagh? I’m Fist J’ehlar.”

: This is the guy that shade mentions seeing. Given that Ketheric died (the first time) over a hundred years ago, and all those shades died before that, it means he’s pretty old.

: “Mm, mm, Thaniel and me are… climb, climb, climbing up a tree…”

: I vote we kill him.

: We… we need you, sir. One of our own’s been taken - a Grand Duke. You might know something that could help us bring him back.

: “We found him out in the shadows, just.. wandering. Nothing survives out there for long. Don’t know how he made it, or where he came from..”

: I never liked this guy. He’s kinda creepy, especially when you know who Thaniel is.

Narrator: This is no physical ailment, it is a spiritual malaise. The man’s mind has been gripped by the Shadowfell .. yet it has not broken.

1. That name he mentioned - ‘Thaniel’. Who is that?
2. Can he hear you?
3. What’s wrong with him?
4. Let me have a look at him.
5. [BARD] I’ve never heard that tune. Might be an original composition.
6. That song - have you heard it before?

: I believe some of these options are different if you’ve killed the shades by the Ketheric statue, but I hadn’t done that yet in this run. This is from Update 15.

: “That name he mentioned - ‘Thaniel’. Who is that?”

: “No idea, I’m afraid. Whoever it is, must be someone important to him. He’s been saying the same thing over and over, ever since we found him.”

: “I’ve never heard that tune. Might be an original composition.”

: “Maybe he was a musician.”

Narrator: You notice the distinctive calluses on the man’s hands - the kind only developed from years of playing the lute. Without a reminder of who he is, of what he held dear, his mind will remain lost to the darkness.

: Translation: We need to find his lute, which is being held by the third Thorm sibling.

: Florrick is here if you saved her, and she’ll tell you she’s going to Baldur’s Gate to get the “Steel Watch”. The Steel Watch are easily the worst point of this entire game.

: “I’ll request that Lord Gortash send some of them to aid in the fight against Moonrise. The curse won’t harm them.”

: “Holy shit. That’s my old boss - the guy who sold me to Zariel!”

Narrator: You know the name Gortash. A counsellor with considerable influence on Baldurian industry and politics.. but he is no Lord.

: “Lord Gortash? I thought he was no more than a counsellor.”

: “Lord Gortash is the man responsible for the creation of the Cybertruck Steel Watch. It’s no wonder he earned the title. The Steel Watch are the future of warfare. Gondian automatons that can be sent into battle without risking any lives - except those of our enemies.”

: You could replace “Steel Watch” with “ED-209” and you have the plot of Robocop.

: “Lord Gortash had only completed work on the prototypes before Ravengard and I left for Elturel, but even they were formidable. With the Steel Watch at our backs, we could storm the tower whatever Ketheric throws at us, I’m sure of it.”

: “Have you ever considered that Gortash and Ketheric are on the same side?”

: “No, because Duke Ravengard and I have the awareness level of a river snail due to RPG writing.”

: “I probably should’ve let you die in that fire.”

: “So Gortash is a lord now. I’d like to clap eyes on this Steel Watch of his. I never really told you the story of me and Gortash, did I? Let me set the stage.”

: “The year? Ten ere. The place? A sleepy little town called Baldur’s Gate. Our hero? Karlach, a knock-kneed delinquent from the Outer City with everything to give and nothing to lose.”

: “Please stop talking like you’re doing an actual play podcast or I’m going to replace you with Minthara.”

: “I was a kid looking for a way to fill my days and make some cash when I fell into the wrong crowd. Gortash. I respected him so much at the time. Turns out the feeling wasn’t mutual.”

: “Through the jigs and reels, he made a deal with Zariel behind my back. You know Zariel, right? Archdevil of Avernus?”

: I’m still working on the character sheets for the Pathfinder thread, but at the end I’m going to have the pngtubers do the final fight of Descent to Avernus and exterminate Zariel.

: The reason it’s taking so long is because the only sheet I know how to do purely from memory is Mara’s, and Callie’s needs two sheets because she’s playing a summoner.

: I wanted an eidolon with sixteen arms, each one holding a different weapon. They nerfed summoner for a reason.

: I also had to refresh myself on a lot of mechanics, which is harder because most of the PFS stuff for 1E isn’t available anymore.

: “She put this thing in my chest and set me to work. I never found out what Gortash got in exchange. This is the kind of man who gets a title. Authority. Makes me sick.”

: The next step is talking to Halsin. I’m not sure why you’d know to do this.

: “The shadow curse is upon us. As foul as I remember it - perhaps even worse. But with the Oak Father’s blessing, we may soon see it banished from these lands.”

: “There’s a Flaming Fist at Last Light. The curse has left him insensible, but he’s muttering about a boy called Thaniel.”

: “He is…? Then I must see him. Insensible or not, he knows something. Thaniel is no ordinary child - he is the very spirit of this land. If this Fist knows where he is, then perhaps we can save him.. save everything.”

: “Why is this nature spirit a child again?”

: “I’ve never figured that part out. Probably because children are creepy and this zone is supposed to be a horror film.”

: And now it’s time to exterminate. The House of Healing was patched on honor mode because of how easy the boss is to cheese.

: We’re going to go in from the street entrance, rather than through the graveyard.

: Walking past the reception desk gets us accosted by a zombie nurse, because we’ve gone from Resident Evil to Silent Hill.

: You can sneak past her and then stab her for a free surprise round. She goes down quickly.

: The nurses all carry these paralyze potions that have a considerably higher DC (15) than most potions do. These won’t do anything against undead, but are useful against people.

: The key unlocks the reception desk for some free healing potions.

: The chest next to it has another key in it we don’t really need, but can take anyway.

: Behind the desk is a skeleton with a ring and a letter about his dead wife. This ring is a pair - the other one is on a skeleton in the graveyard.

: The two rings allow you to use a spell that redirects damage from one party member to another.

Entry 47: We’re being attacked. My brave, beautiful Miranda volunteered to fight - she says it’s her duty as a cleric of Shar. I can’t bear the thought of anything happening to her, but I know she’d be angry if I said anything. I’ll pray to our Lady to keep her safe.

Entry 48: Miranda woke me in full armor - a smile on her face. She got down on one knee and proposed, a beautiful obsidian ring in her hand. Of course, I said yes! As a cleric, she was able to marry us then and there, blessing the rings as she slipped them on our fingers. I’m terrified for her, but I’m also so happy - I knew she loved me. I knew it!

Entry 49: Miranda faced down an entire troop of Harpers, killing every last one. She didn’t have a scratch on her - blessed be the Lady of Loss! I tried to prepare a celebratory meal for her, but I had a dizzy spell. Blood poured from my nose, and Miranda found me passed out on the floor. She told me to rest, and not to bother going to the House of Healing - that it was likely the stress. She’s right, but I’m still scared.

Entry 50: I know Miranda said not to, but I went to the House of Healing. Blood leaks from my nose and ears, and there’s strange wounds all over my body. The nurse just kept asking about the ring, and when I told her we just got married, she looked at me strangely. When I asked her what was wrong, she sent me home - telling me not to come back. There are black spots in my vision, and I can’t feel my legs. What is wrong with me? What is happening?

: She totally played him.

: There’s a note here that’s kinda funny. I’m not gonna bother transcribing it.

: We might as well take this free explosive barrel. No reason not to.

: We could go through this door under what is blatantly the staircase from the Spencer mansion in Resident Evil 1, but we don’t want to do that unless we’re stealthing.

: Like his siblings, the Thorm here can be talked to death. I’ll show that off after we do the fight.

: A zombie doctor and four zombie nurses in a wide-open space is not something we want to deal with, especially when the doctor has magic resistance.

: On honor mode, you have no other choice. The doctor has an ability that was added specifically for honor mode that can pull people through walls and floors.

: To kill the doctor, we’ll use this elevator on top of the staircase. It brings you to the second floor. You can also get to the roof from the graveyard and get in that way.

: Upstairs is a big, circular room that has a hole in the floor designed to let the zombie nurses come after you if you’re up here. We can use that to our advantage.

: The hole leads to this raised platform. The doctor can’t climb because his hands are scalpels.

: Ordinarily, the doctor will request a tool from one of his nurses. If the nurse gets close enough to him, he’ll take it and gets an instakill on the next person he attacks.

: We let the nurses come upstairs, then kill them.

: Make sure to loot their weapons, too. You’ll see why.

: Astarion can climb down the vines to the raised platform on the floor below, and then climb down again, stab the doctor, and disengage to climb back up.

: The reason we loot the nurses is because the doctor can revive them. He can only revive one, and has to be able to see them. In theory, you could throw them off the roof, but that’d take too long.

: From here, you repeat until the doctor dies. It takes forever, but he can’t hit anyone. For extra safety, you can throw one nurse down to the bottom of the first floor and throw things at her when she revives.

: I thought about doing that when I played this, but then I realized it was boring and stupid. There’s an easier way.

: If you go to the far end of the graveyard, there’s a locked door you can easily bash in.

: Then all you have to do is read this book on the desk.

[Every page of this medical text is crisp and unblemished, and every quill-stroke precise. Sharran aphorisms and general philosophies accompany the explicit diagrams and surgical guidelines.]

Only with sacrifice is mastery gained. So has our Lady said, and so I say to you, dearest reader. The darkness is infinite, but a master’s teachings are not. When his wisdom is exhausted and his pupils fully versed, there shall come time for one final lesson. He will become the subject, fully laid bare for his students to consult, examine - and dissect.

The sisters shall one day know me, first in whole, last in part. Only then will they be masters.

: The gloves would be okay if it weren’t for the fact that most fights here on out have that “Fuck you, I make my save” thing we saw with the inquisitor.

: “Come. Step forward. You are no sister, but that matters none. Every student is welcome.”

: I’m going to skip a bit of this cutscene because it’s Malus torturing a guy who is inexplicably here for some reason and not dead from the curse.

: The curse is very much active in here, as you can tell if you try to light any light sources. I have a theory about most of Act 2 that I’m sure is right to some extent.

: My theory goes like this. Act 2 was originally just Moonrise Towers, Last Light, and one other zone we haven’t been to yet (which is the actual point of no return).

: The toll house, bar, and house of healing were originally pieces of Moonrise Towers that the developers removed because otherwise Moonrise would be enormous and a pain to navigate.

1. I don’t wish to study, only to lift the curse on this land.
2. A student, yes. Do please enlighten me.
3. You will stop this sick spectacle at once.
4. What wrong has this man done to deserve such torture?

: “A student, yes. Please do enlighten me.”

Sister Hunna: Absence.

: “Absence. No other word captures the heart of Shar so very perfectly. It is the scapel-led journey that leads from pain to peace.”

: “What the fuck is this loon talking about?”

: “See? What is the light of eyes but the cancer that causes one to witness the laceration of being? If light is the symptom, then darkness is the cure, for in light there is presence, but in darkness there is absence.”

: Also not shown: the guy on the operating table having no eyes, which is weird because he definitely does when the cutscene starts and Malus didn’t have time to remove them.

Sister Hunna: In light is presence, in darkness, absence.

: “But you: look how the succor of Shar eludes you. See how painfully present you remain… we do not wish to see you suffer so. Let us cure you.”

1. [INVESTIGATION] Examine the sisters and their implements.
2. [RELIGION] Recall what you know of Shar’s teachings.
3. [PERSUASION] The sisters aren’t ready. They’ll make me sick instead of curing me.
4. Attack.

: The first two options only need you to roll a 14, while the persuasion roll is a 16. They all end up the same way, and we need persuasion for the next roll, so let’s go with that.

: “The sisters aren’t ready. They can barely hold a scalpel. It’s probably because you suck at necromancy.”

: “Their incisions are, as yet, still streaked with imprecision - that much I must concede. How to steady their hands, I wonder.”

1. [INTIMIDATION] I have read your treatise. Initiate the final lesson, or die by my hand.
2. [PERSUASION] ‘Only with sacrifice is mastery gained.’ For the sisters to learn, you must submit.
3. [PERSUASION] Why not have them hone their skills on each other?

: If you’ve read the book in the doctor’s office, you get these options. The first two need you to roll an 18, while the third needs a 21.

: If you haven’t, you can still achieve the same thing, it’s just a bit harder.

4. [BARD] [PERSUASION] I take joy in performing with a master of my craft - I’m sure the sisters are the same. Why don’t you volunteer?
5. [PERSUASION] They need a better subject to practice on first. Not a student, but a master.

: The options with a class tag are actually a bit easier to make, even if they’re a 21, because you roll twice and take the higher roll. They don’t show up if you’ve read the book.

: “I think you should die.”

: “Yes. Submit I must, into the Lady’s dark-fingered embrace. I see now. By example I must edify and quell the light that blinds us.”

: “Come, sisters. Soothe me.”

: You know, I didn’t think this would do all that much for me but now I want to light them on fire just because.

: If you do it this way, you get experience for the doctor and all the nurses without lifting a finger. You can also tell the nurses to kill each other, which lets you fight the doctor without him having most of his abilities.

: We need the lute for Halsin’s quest, and that’s pretty much all the doctor has.

: This would be useful except most of the bosses we have left aren’t humanoids or are immune to paralysis. It’s more an item built for the boss to use on you than anything.

: We’re not quite done with the house of healing. There’s one more room, plus a second area not attached to the main building.

: Oh man, her parents are super dead. We should raise them as zombies and show them to her.

: The last remaining zombie nurse we haven’t killed is “tending” Arabella’s parents. We can talk her into being a trader.

: Just put all her stuff into this convenient box nearby, and…

: Kill her before she can react. That’s around 1200 gold for free, not to mention a stack of high-end healing potions.

: Finally, if we go out through the back door of the doctor’s office, we reach this hole in the ground. This is the entrance to the morgue, which is a second way into the point of no return.

: We will not be touching that until after Halsin’s quest is complete. For now, we’re just going to kill all the enemies.

: This isn’t even worth a tactics segment. The solution is obvious:

: Most of the enemies are melee. This rock is just big enough to hold four people. Add a couple of summons in the back, and you’ve got an unreachable platform.

: Just keep in mind that the enemies will be able to melee attack anyone sitting near the front.

: Initiating combat gets us the usual surprise round, and before long everything is dead again.

: At worst, one of them might jump up onto the platform, but they’re easy enough to kill before they can do any damage.

: I really need to get a rocket punch or something after all of this.

A reminder, sisters: Do not forget that patients passing through these hallowed halls must needs be stripped of such frivolous items as jewellery, timepieces, and extraneous gold amounts. These burdens can be safely stored in the vault behind the hidden wall, that they not confuse matters between ourselves and Ketheric’s Justiciars. We’d like to avoid misunderstandings, if possible.

: These zombies really aren’t very good at villainous lairs. Come to think of it, how did the doctor write this if his arms are scalpels?

: That’s.. actually a good question. How did he write all those books?

: Inside the secret room is this ring, which is going to be VERY useful for the fun route once we get past the point of no return.

: And this, which goes on Karlach because everyone else can either cast black tentacles already or has something better to cast.

: The doors lead to a hallway full of “dead” zombies sitting on top of gas vents.

: Instead of falling for the obvious trap, we lure the zombies to the door and kill them as they shamble forward.

: The hallway is shaped like a cross. The left room is locked, but we can get in easily enough and find a dead harper.. which also makes no sense because this place is cursed.

: He has a key to the door at the end, and a couple of books. One of them gives an inspiration for Lyselle.

: This room has a lever that unlocks a lever that unlocks the final door, and a bunch of potions. There’s a book of research notes somewhere Lyselle can read for an inspiration.

: And this ring, which I don’t think is ever that useful given that like charm, there aren’t a lot of things that inflict blind.

: And finally, the fart pit. There is a really annoying fight here which I’ll do next update after we finish Halsin’s quest.

: The only item of note here is this cape, which goes on Karlach. We’re not going to go any further because it leads us to the point of no return.

: “La la, Thaniel, etc.”

: “He keeps saying Thaniel’s name - he must know more. We need to rouse him.”

: “I found his lute on an insane zombie doctor.”

: “Good - its music might help restore him. Show it to him.”

: “Thaniel! He’s still trapped there - he needs help!”

: “Calm. Breathe. You’ve been trapped in the Shadowfell for over a century. Take a moment to clear your mind.”

: “A century… you’re Halsin. Thaniel said to find you. You must help him - please.”

: The shadowfell is the elemental plane of shadows. It’s where Shar lives.

: “I will, but I need to know where Thaniel is. If I venture into the Shadowfell blind, I will never find him.”

: “I’m not sure I could put it into words - the landscape there shifts and changes.”

1. Was there anything that could offer guidance? Something that didn’t change.
2. Let Halsin handle this.
3. Don’t tell me I brought you back for nothing.

: “Lavender. Whenever I saw Thaniel, I always smelled lavender.”

: “I can work with that. Rest now.”

: “Meet me by the lakeshore. I have what we need to proceed, but I’ll need your help. Be ready, this may prove.. perilous.”

: We get inspirations for both Pollux and Lyselle. And now, it’s time.

: I remember this part! It’s really annoying. The enemies spawn in from all over, and.. wait a second..

: The wall of barrels strategy!

: We’ve still got a ton of crap up in Isobel’s room. In fact, we’ve got so much crap that we’ve permanently broken the pathfinding. Crates shoot up into the sky if touched. Physics is a suggestion.

: And there were a whole bunch of crates we left behind in the prison, plus the mason’s guild and the toll house!

: Combine those with all those treasure chests we left lying around..

: And we’ve got an impenetrable wall!

: This strategy isn’t perfect, but it’ll do. Ideally, you want the chests on the outer edge because they’re much harder to break.

: This wall consists of every box, barrel and chest from this part of Act 2. That’s all the containers in Moonrise’s prison, the docks, the toll house, the mason’s guild, and the house of healing.

: Even this many isn’t enough to really break the AI. We’d need to go raid some of the Act 1 walls for that.

: “You’re here, good. Now we can begin.”

1. First, I want to know what to expect.
2. Let’s do it.
3. You can begin. I already did my part.

: “Let’s do it, and by it I mean go back to the inn and have a date.”

: “Thaniel is trapped in the Shadowfell, but thanks to your efforts, I know where to look. Now I must go there - alone.”

1. Hold on - shouldn’t I come with you?
2. What am I to do?
3. Sounds like you don’t need my help anymore.

: “Shouldn’t I come with you?”

: “No, because I need you to do a five-wave ‘defend the hacker’ minigame straight out of 2008.”

: “This game sucks.”

: The first wave can be partially broken using walls. These two zombie dogs are trapped and aren’t getting out, so their AI will turn off.

: The only real danger are these three over here. All of them have bows. There are a couple of explosive barrels around the inn, and a few more scattered around here, that you can put there to kill them as soon as they pop up.

: The next wave is zombie ravens and ground tentacles, which can teleport for some reason. Nobody’s teleporting my tentacles.

: Most of the zombies will just sit there attacking the barricade. A few will jump over, but they’re easy enough to handle if they’re alone.

: While it’s certainly tempting to toss a couple of fireballs down there, there’s no point. All of the enemies die after 5 waves and you get the full experience for killing them even if you never hit them.

: Oh, right. The first wave spawns a wraith and three shadows on the right side, which get stuck trying to pathfind.

: The final wave has zombie gith for some reason. These guys can jump the barricade - but only one at a time, because we have that horizontal wall blocking them from spreading out much further.

: At this point, the enemies get stuck on each other because we’re not killing any of them. Where’s a boulder when we need one?

: At the end of the five turn timer, everything dies.

: “It’s done. I have him.”

: “But something’s wrong. Dreadfully wrong. No.. it can’t be..”

: “Why is he a twelve year old boy?”

: “Because writing.”

: “Isn’t that a little creepy, though? I mean, him hanging out with some guy for a full century?”

: “I need to examine him. I need to understand what’s wrong. It’s almost like something’s missing from him. Come see us, when you can.”

: With this, we’ve cleared the Fuck Zone. All that’s left is to clear Halsin’s quest and then finish the point of no return which will lock us out of Act 1.

: Let’s see what would have happened if we had talked to Gerringothe instead of pushing her out a window.

: “WHAT DO YOU BRING?”

1. Who are you?
2. What do you require?
3. I will bring an end to the curse that shrouds this land.
4. I bring.. wine?
5. [BARD] Ballads, sonnets, jigs - the list is endless, really.
6. I bring you death.

: “What do you require?”

: “I REQUIRE GOLD.”

1. It seems to me you have enough.
2. If I give you gold, what do I get in return?
3. I have no more gold.
4. Toss the creature a gold piece.
5. Attack.
6. Leave.

: “Fine. Have a gold piece to fuck off.”

: “ANOTHER. ALL THAT YOU HAVE! YOU MAY PASS THE RIVER, BUT FIRST YOU MUST PAY.”

1. Fine. Take it all.
2. Toss the creature a gold piece.
3. I’ve already paid.
4. You’re a toll collector. Or you were, anyway.
5. [PERSUASION] Why stay in this rotted building? Take your gold and be free.
6. [BARD] [DECEPTION] I’m afraid I’m actually your replacement. You’ve been fired as toll collector.

: “I’m afraid I’m actually your replacement. You’ve been fired as toll collector - terribly sorry.”

: “REPLACE… ME? NO… I REQUIRE GOLD!”

1. [DECEPTION] You’ve been promoted! You’ll collect gold from a much better tollhouse.
2. [PERSUASION] You’ve done a great job here. Really set the standard. But I’ll take it from here.
3. [INTIMIDATION] You dare to question their decision? Leave this place at once!

: “You’ve been promoted! You’ll collect gold from a much better tollhouse.”

: “THAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE”

: “You’re right, it doesn’t, does it?”

: Gerringothe explodes for no apparent reason, and we get 58 owlbears of experience for killing her. We still got that much doing it the other way.

: If you do the encounter this way, she doesn’t lose her armor. You still get about half the gold off her corpse.

: The Thorms have an entire two-page spread in the artbook, just in case you were curious about what Thisobald looks like under the hood.

: Personally, I think Gerringothe was an interesting concept. The other two I’m kinda meh on. Malus is too stupid looking to be threatening and Thisobald feels like a rejected Resident Evil villain.

: Finally, this is what happens if you tell Malus to kill himself.