Down, Down, Down By the River: Let's Play Baldur's Gate 3

[Timrod]

Summary

: It’s time to do the cutscene that I don’t like. What I’d like you to keep in mind are two things. The first is that this cutscene is completely optional.

: As we’ve seen, you can simply blow up the gith creche without ever fighting the inquisitor or talking to Vlaakith. Given that, you’ll probably see why I hate this cutscene.

: I should mention that this cutscene is slightly different if you don’t have Lae’zel with you, but we’re doing the worst version.

: “My ardents spoke of one of our kin that escaped in a crashing ghaik slave-vessel.”

: “Ch’'r’ai. Vlaakith’s justice in flesh.”

: “You have accomplished much, child. I am pleased to finally meet you. I heard there is so much goblin blood on your hands that it soaks their children’s nightmares.”

: What children? There were living children?

: One of them glitched out of the jail.

: “To business. I suspect you plucked something precious from the ghaik ship. Something that belongs to us. The weapon. Give it to me.”

: “Don’t do it. The weapon is how I protect you.”

: “Do it. Do not disobey the Inquisitor.”

1. Produce the artifact.
2. What do I get in return if I give it to you?
3. This weapon - what does it do?
4. Shouldn’t you be more concerned with the mind flayer invasion?
5. How do you know so much about me?
6. I can’t. It protects me.

: “Shouldn’t you be more concerned with the mind flayer invasion?”

: “What makes you think we are not? We are talking about the Grand Design - the restoration of the Illithid Empire. There is nothing of greater importance. But the weapon is the solution. I have heard it directly from Queen Vlaakith herself.”

: “It is how we stop the mind flayers before they destroy us all. Hand it over.”

1. Produce the artifact.
2. What is the Grand Design?
3. What do I get in return if I give it to you?
4. How will this weapon stop the mind flayers?
5. Never.

: “Fuck yourself.”

: “Do not try me. Hand over the artifact, or die by my hand.”

: If I remember right, you can piss Lae’zel off enough that she joins the fight on their side.

1. [PERSUASION] You can’t trust him, Lae’zel. Follow my lead. I will choose the right path.
2. We are keeping the artifact.
3. Produce the artifact.

: “No…”

: “So – it is found.”

: (unintelligible gibberish with an overuse of apostrophes)

: “My Queen - shkath zai!”

: “You are permitted to look upon me. You are invited to kneel.”

: This is the one dialog choice where you can defy Vlaakith and she doesn’t instantly game over you.

: “The Deathless Queen has spoken. You will obey.”

: Here’s what I hate about this cutscene. The developers and writers went well out of their way to make it feel like the game never really railroads you, even when it does.

: You’ve witnessed firsthand how many cutscenes we’ve skipped in favor of killing everyone, and the game has no problem with us doing that.

: Even in scenes like the one with Raphael or Voss, you can tell them to fuck themselves in no uncertain terms. But this one? You’re railroaded as fuck, and it shows.

: The thing is, there’s no reason for it. This is a totally optional scene. The worst part is that we never get to kill Vlaakith.

: “These attendants you keep - you taught them well. My child. My Lae’zel.”

: “Ch’mar, zal’a Vlaakith. You know me.”

: “Urlon of K’liir speaks most highly. As did Al’chaia before him. You seek purity. I may yet grant it.”

: “Istik. You bear that which is ours. But are you friend, or are you thief?”

: The dialog here changes just a bit if you’ve killed everyone already and don’t have Lae’zel with you. What I’ll do is mix the two versions a bit.

: “I didn’t steal it. It just.. found me.”

: “And you just happened to STUMBLE ON the Astral Prism?! At least you brought it back. It is a start.”

: “That ‘weapon’ you carry - the Astral Prism - it is corrupted.”

: “I will cleanse it for you, my Queen. Tell me how.”

: “There is someone inside. Their mind is warped, broken - a blight. They are an agent of the Grand Design. Sent to sabotage the Astral Prism - our last defense against the return of the Illithid Empire.”

: If you don’t have Lae’zel, you have the opportunity to cast Detect Thoughts on Vlaakith.

Narrator: Behind the veil of the god-queen’s outer thoughts - death. Fear. Paranoia. She fears the one inside the artifact more than anything in the world. But she’s hiding something."

: It’s dumb that you can’t do this if you have Lae’zel with you, and the reason why is so they can railroad even harder.

: “As long as they live, the Prism is compromised. Kill them. Do this, and I will cleanse you and your allies. Do this - and ascend.”

: “Ascension? My queen!”

: “You must accept. Refuse, and know my fury.”

1. The dream visitor is inside the artifact. I can’t kill them. They protect me from the Absolute.
2. I will do as you wish.
3. Can’t you kill the one inside yourself? I thought ‘gods’ were all-powerful.
4. No way. I don’t work for deluded tyrants.

: Picking any option other than number two has her kill you.

: She then makes a giant version of the prism you can go in. Now, here’s the thing: we can just walk out at this point. I’ve tested it.

: But you know what, we’re already this deep into railroaded bullshit, let’s keep going and have even more railroaded bullshit.

Narrator: A timeless space, bounded, compressed in a fold - a pocket of Astral Plane.

: There are a bunch of dead gith and alchemy ingredients here that are worth grabbing.

: Namely these divine bone shards, which make potions that give you resistance to everything.

: “So you came. In spite of all my warnings. Disappointing. Come. We will talk in private. Just the two of us.”

: “I may have made a mistake trusting you. I told you to stay away from the githyanki. But you just couldn’t help yourself, could you?”

: “And now you’ve come here to murder me.”

1. Vlaakith told me you are an agent of the Illithid Grand Design.
2. I haven’t come to murder you. I just want to talk.
3. You’re right. Prepare to die.

: “I haven’t come to murder you. I just want to talk.”

: “I told you I stole the artifact from someone. Well, I stole it from Vlaakith. Since then, she has become desperate. Vlaakith wants me dead because I know her secret.”

: “It is a secret so great that if her people ever found out, that would be the end of her rule, the end of her. That same secret is how I’ve been protecting you from the Absolute.”

: “I can hear your thoughts. You think I’m lying. Vlaakith warned you that I would try to deceive you. But consider this - what reason do I have to deceive you? I want the same thing as you - freedom.”

: No, you didn’t miss anything. She says this line, and then spends over a minute kneeling and pulling out the sword.

1. Get up - you won’t die today.
2. Vlaakith be damned - if she wants you dead, she can kill you herself.
3. Is this some kind of trick?
4. A goddess asked me to kill you. I have no choice. You have to die.

: “Get up. You won’t die today.”

: “It seems I was right to put my faith in you after all. Thank you. Vlaakith will be furious, to make no mention of your githyanki companion.”

: “The lich queen fears nothing more than the loss of her empire. The knowledge I have of her deception will bring that about.”

1. Vlaakith’s a goddess. What could you possibly know that would bring down her empire?
2. If you’re such a threat to her, why hasn’t she killed you already?
3. What deception?

: “If you’re such a threat to her, why hasn’t she killed you already?”

: “She is trying her very best to kill me. By sending you. Vlaakith is lying to her people. She pretends to know how Gith destroyed the mind flayer empire. In truth, she knows nothing.”

: “If the Illithid Empire were ever to return, she would be incapable of stopping them. And if her people found out about her impotence, there would be mutiny, revolution, the end of her rule.”

: “But that very power, the power to resist illithid control which Vlaakith only pretends to know, is how I’ve been protecting you. I suppose she hoped to extract it from my corpse.”

: “Since you spared me that fate, she will come for you.”

1. Let her try.
2. I protect my allies.
3. That’s a problem.
4. I should have killed you.
5. What’s the power?

: “Let her try.”

: “She most certainly will. I have delayed long enough. The next attack is overdue, and I can’t risk you being caught in the middle of it. I need you out there, searching for the Absolute.”

: “You were on the right path - to Moonrise Towers. Return to it. Be warned. The Inquisitor awaits your return from this place with orders to kill you. No doubt the rest of the creche will join him.”

: This is where this cutscene fails to make any sense whatsoever. Vlaakith’s entire plan is to kill the party. She accomplishes this.. by not killing them.

: If you piss her off, she just goes “Fuck you I wish you were dead” and you get a game over. There’s no reason given why she wouldn’t just do that in the first place if her intent was to kill everyone in the first place.

: I feel like this was probably a mandatory plot scene in one draft of the plot, and then instead of trashing it they just glued it in and hoped it stuck.

: I also feel like it’s dumb because it’s setting Vlaakith up like we’re going to get a chance to kill her, but we never actually do.

: Now, if this was some random DM who had accidentally written a scene they later realized made no sense, I can understand that. I don’t expect DMs to be professional writers (and given R.A. Salvatore, it’s usually better that they’re not), but this is an entire room full of people who write for a living.

: The only difference in doing the fight this way is that we start in the middle of the room, surrounded by the gith. You do get a free Bless, but that doesn’t really make up for the tactical disadvantage.

: Next time, I’ll get on doing Act 2.