Doing Crimes for Fun and Profit... And the Community Too, I Guess - Let's Play Saints Row

When you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes back. Here’s why that’s a good thing:

Stillwater is plagued by three powerful gangs: the Westside Rollerz (yes, with a “z”), the Los Carnales, and the Vice Kings. Peace isn’t an option, so the next best option is violence. Julius Little, the leader of the small-time 3rd Street Saints, wants to put an end to the terror bearing down on the people of the city. And one night, he meets a man who is both the solution and an entirely new problem.

Hey, you’ve heard of Grand Theft Auto, right? Well what if you had an open world game kinda like that, but it was about gangs or something! This is the first Saints Row, a game where you can see the bits and pieces that make the later games stand on their own two feet, but also the bones of the games it was derived from. But the nice thing about this one is that it does have a character customizer, though if you’re expecting the MC to talk, you’re a game too early. Still, it was definitely a novelty at the time, and there’s something to be said about being able to customize the character who’s going to be sent to commit terrible/wacky atrocities.

Episode List

One night in Stillwater, a sudden eruption of violence nearly kills some random citizen. But the timely arrival of the 3rd Street Saints’ leader saves the doomed fellow, and earns the gang a new member. Or at least it will once he’s canonized, which involves a lot of punching.

Playa’s part of the Saints, but taking back the Row isn’t going to be easy. And it won’t be straightforward either, because before we can start taking territory, we need to make sure everyone respects us first. So… let’s steal some cars first, I guess.

The Saints have established themselves as a credible threat, and now it’s time to go on the offensive against the other three gangs. Or at least it will be when Playa does enough miscellaneous activities that people respect him. Once that happens, though, it’ll be time to solve a kidnapping.

Our first mission went pretty well, so why don’t we take on three more this time around? After all, with three gangs operating in Stillwater, we’ll need to hit everyone’s operations if we want to see them all go down.

We’ve got some jobs to do today, and a lot of them are car-based. It’s a good thing we have the good 'ol, reliable Saintsmobile to get us through them!

We’ve pushed against the Los Carnales for long enough, and now they’re tired of our shit. Angelo, Victor, and a small army of grunts have attacked the Row and everyone wearing purple within. Thankfully for anyone who’s actually important in this game, the higher ups have left, and the only remaining invaders are far more susceptible to bullets than their enforcer.

We’ve got a busy day ahead of us, because there’s plenty of businesses for us to ruin in the name of taking back Stilwater. Whether it’s pushing drugs into the sea or just blowing up a lab, Playa will make sure the other gangs are hit with as much violence as humanly possible.

We’re on a roll with the Vice Kings, so why not keep on wrecking their stuff? After all, Johnny thinks it would be a good idea to keep the pressure on him, and I see no reason to doubt his instinct.