CORRECT the MATCHMAKER - Let's Play The 25th Ward: The Silver Case

The 25th Ward is the second sequel to The Silver Case, released at some point in the early 2000s (probably 2003, as that’s when the game takes place) as a cell phone game in the pre-smartphone era that never saw the light of day outside of Japan and which, to the best of my knowledge, was never preserved anywhere. If you’ve played anything by Suda, you already know he loves doing that kind of shit.

The original game had two plot arcs, titled “Correctness” and “Placebo” - the second one being a continuation of the Placebo arc in The Silver Case. The arcs were released episodically (because this was 2003, and Half-Life 2 Episode 3 wasn’t yet an ongoing joke) and were meant to be played in release order. Effectively, this meant the original game worked just like The Silver Case with the alternating Transmitter - Placebo order for chapters.

The 25th Ward: The Silver Case is a 2018 remake of the original cell phone game, with an additional twist: not only was the entire game totally redone (with the exception of some of the original artwork), but a third plot arc, titled “Matchmaker”, got added in. From what I’ve been told, the “correct” order to play the remake in is this:

Correctness #0
Placebo *0
Correctness #1
Matchmaker "1
Placebo *1

And so on and so forth. What I’m going to do for this LP is arrange the updates by which plot arc they’re part of, so that if you want to try reading it in a different order, you can do that. Speaking of which…

Do I need to have read The Silver Case LP and/or played Flower, Sun and Rain to understand this?

YES. The 25th Ward is opaque enough as-is, and there’s a reason it gives you a recap of The Silver Case at the beginning. If you have read my previous LP, you should have everything you need to understand The 25th Ward. You may also want to watch one of the myriad LPs of Flower, Sun and Rain that exist - make sure you find one that has the original PS2 version footage in it.

I will warn you that if you go into this game not having played and fully understood The Silver Case, you will be in for a bad time, like a lot of the dipshit reviewers who panned this game because they had not played the other Kill The Past games.

What about Killer7?

The remake of The 25th Ward definitely takes inspiration from Killer7, and it would not hurt at all to go watch an LP of that.

Will this be a 100% LP?

No. This LP will cover all of the main Correctness, Placebo, and Matchmaker chapters. I’m going to spoil something up front - there is a very, very long chapter at the end of the Correctness arc with 100 endings, and I am not sitting through that. It’s only questionably canon anyway.

Are you getting Salty Vanilla to do an entire alternate storyline where the protagonist is a rodent of some sort based entirely on a single throwaway line in the first chapter again?

Of course. Why wouldn’t I?

Summary

Update 1

Summary

Update 3

Update 4

Summary

Update 2

Summary

Update 5

Summary

newmascotresized: Welcome to The 25th Ward. This game takes a lot of UI inspiration from Killer7, and it’s honestly kinda annoying compared to how The Silver Case worked.

newmascotresized: This is the first example. Instead of the simple chapter selection menu from The Silver Case, we have the uh… chapter select triangle that we navigate in 3D.

newmascotresized: Prototype is much, much shorter than Lunatics was. You can finish it in about 15 minutes assuming you’re not speeding up the dialog.

newmascotresized: I blame Kusabi. He clearly didn’t shoot it enough.

newmascotresized: Wait a second, what part of the 24 Wards was a perfect utopia? It was a city ruled by an immortal despot and a guy who spent all day spinning in a chair watching anime titties.

newmascotresized: I wonder if their sentient, bipedal chinchillas are human-sized.

newmascotresized: The location bar from The Silver Case returns, only now it takes up the top-center of the screen and starts out garbled.

newmascotresized: I didn’t capture it, but the name above the portrait that flashes for a second before the text starts showing up reads “Kosaka”. He was in The Silver Case - he was the investigator from Central who shows up in Parade. We heard from him briefly at the end of Danwa.

Kosaka

newmascotresized: Kosaka must have found the store Baofu shops at.

Kosaka: “There has been a string of suspicious deaths discovered here at Bayside Towerland, the symbol of the 25th Ward. In the four months since the condos were made available for purchase, nine people have died here.”

newmascotresized: I should mention that I found a copy of the script for this game partway through producing this update. This is the first time I’ve ever just been able to copy and paste.

Kosaka: “All of them have been ruled suicides. We haven’t been able to get any further information. It will be hard to get a foot in the door, even going through the Metropolitan Police Department.”

Kosaka: “Someone or something has been exerting their power to block these incidents off. But fortunately, we were able to obtain some info through a certain route.”

newmascotresized: The term highlighting is something The Silver Case never did, even in the remake, and I have no idea why.

Kosaka: “This is where we’ll need you. Infiltrate the scene and find out what’s going on. An investigator from HQ is using another route to get in. Make contact with them.”

Kosaka: “After that, I’ll submit a formal inquest and get started on the official investigation. I’ll be presiding over and leading the investigation. I’m putting you in charge of the field.”

newmascotresized: There’s a tutorial here I’m going to skip in favor of explaining it myself. The 25th Ward has a different system from The Silver Case, one which I don’t think is necessarily better.

newmascotresized: Our new character uses dice as their interface, because symbolism. The standard controls are a D4. We have Move…

newmascotresized: Look, which is half of the replacement for Contact…

newmascotresized: And Talk, which is the other half of the replacement for Contact. There’s a fourth command we can’t use yet. We have to start by looking at the building.

newmascotresized: Oh, just like that town in New Hampshire that got taken over by bears.

Kosaka: The success of the 24 Wards accelerated the progress of the 25th Ward proposal. It’s supposed to be some sort of utopian paradise, populated by around 300,000 people. People’s belief in peace is unwavering."

newmascotresized: I’m guessing the shadow government is already cranking out sentient, bipedal bears to take over the entire ward, because that’s how this kind of thing goes.

newmascotresized: Actually, you know what I really want to see now? I want a Silver Case type game where you’re trying to investigate that town in New Hampshire and the twist is that you were playing as Hank the Tank the entire time.

Kosaka: “This highrise apartment complex is up against the threat of ‘administrative crime’. There have been a number of suicides in which the cause of death is unknown, and they’ve been covered up.”

Kosaka: “It’s proof that someone powerful is involved, reigning in reporters and keeping the media under their thumb.”

Kosaka: “This is the sort of case that would absolutely be shut down if standard investigative procedures were followed. We’re going up against a huge opponent.”

newmascotresized: We now need to use the “Talk” option.

Kosaka: “Register yourself as an administrator, and begin infiltration. We’ve acquired a fake ID for you, so there’s no need to worry about being made. Use it wisely, and sparingly. Consider this your first mission as
a 25th Ward HC Unit Special Investigator.”

newmascotresized: Speaking of ID, I should talk about who our new character is. Our new character’s name is Uehara… which is kinda weird given that technically, Big Dick is now the real Kamui.

newmascotresized: Here’s our first reference to Killer7. This is the interface for navigating the first-person segments of the game… and it honestly kinda sucks. While this game does have mouse control, the mouse pointer in these menus is invisible, so you more or less have to use the keyboard.

Doorboy: “Please produce your ID. I will confirm your identity.”

newmascotresized: Hitting the “Bag” option switches the die over to Uehara’s inventory. I’m surprised we don’t have a copy of Kurayami Dance or a luchador mask.

Doorboy: “Your identification has been confirmed. Please proceed.”

newmascotresized: A condo complex with a VIP elevator?

newmascotresized: I feel like if you’re ever buying a condo, and the real estate agent says it “features excellent sanitation”, that’s probably a good sign to not buy that condo.

newmascotresized: I’ve never lived in a condo, but I’ve helped sell a fair few of them, and I can tell you it is definitely not better than reality.

newmascotresized: When this pops up, it plays the sound effect that plays in Killer7 when you pick up an item… even though this screen is a reference to Flower, Sun and Rain.

newmascotresized: This right here? This is how Flower, Sun and Rain works. You put in a number, the game asks if it’s your final answer, and then…

newmascotresized: We’re not even five minutes into the game and we’ve already run into two Killer7 references and an FSR reference.

newmascotresized: We can’t do anything with the two doors, but we should stop and check something while we’re here - namely the ID pass and the ID code we got from Kosaka.

newmascotresized: Given that all the room numbers are five digits, it’s safe to say that the room number we’re looking for is probably 75028. The password is not randomized - I confirmed it with the game script. Let’s keep going down the hallway.

newmascotresized: She looks… very different than she did in The Silver Case, but this is Sakura Natsume - the only other survivor of the 24th Ward Heinous Crimes Unit apart from Kusabi and Big Dick.

newmascotresized: When she shows up on screen, and for the entire time she’s talking, the game plays the Transmitter theme in the background.

Sakura: “I was a bit surprised as that wasn’t what I had heard.”

newmascotresized: Given that we know Sakura is an Ayame maspro, and that this sounds a lot like Chizuru a few seconds before Sakura killed her, this probably is not a good sign.

Sakura: “We still need time before we can begin the investigation. Check everything out, and be sure not to leave any evidence.”

newmascotresized: If we talk to Sakura again…

newmascotresized: Hm, I wonder why we’d remind her of Big Dick. I bet Salty Vanilla can help shed some light on this.

newmascotresized: Meet our protagonist, Uehamster. Our conversation around this piece went something like this:

image

Sakura: “You can enter the room with your ID password. It’s Room 75028. Make sure you get the right room. We don’t want to disturb the neighbors.”

newmascotresized: Here is my first mistake. The room we want is actually on the right side, not the left.

newmascotresized: You have to go through a couple of these screens, which probably would’ve taken half the time if we were still using The Silver Case’s movement style. Clearly, Uehamster has not had the same level of tactical training as Big Dick.

newmascotresized: This is the advantage to LPing this game - I had forgotten the password, but all I had to do was go back through my screenshot folder.

newmascotresized: I’m not sure what significance, if any, the number 803026 has.

newmascotresized: My first thought upon seeing this room was “That doesn’t look like blood, it looks like someone jumped on a bottle of ketchup”.

Sakura: “The murder occurred in this room. It feels too cold and sterile for someone to live in. Don’t you think? Let’s start investigating. We don’t have much time.”

newmascotresized: I uh… I think if that was possible, Kusabi would have already done it.

Sakura: “Apparently, you can see crime and everyday ‘life’… Michiru sent you into the field believing that this case would help awaken you. But I can’t go back just yet.”

newmascotresized: Well, I guess this explains the end of The Silver Case where they talk about a second Kamui that isn’t Big Dick.

newmascotresized: Oh god dammit no. I already played that! It was dogshit! Baofu was the only character!

newmascotresized: Next time, we’ll see the first Placebo chapter and catch up with Tokio after the events of Flower, Sun and Rain.

Summary

newmascotresized: Now that we’ve cleared Prototype, we can visit the other two plot arcs. One thing I do not like about the new chapter select thing is that it automatically puts you on the last plot arc you were on when you load the game after clearing a chapter.

newmascotresized: There’s nothing even telling you that Placebo has unlocked, and I can see how this could cause confusion.

newmascotresized: We’re going to skip most of Utsutsu, because it’s a 15-minute long text scroll recapping the plot of The Silver Case. I understand why they put this in, but it just feels like a bad decision.

newmascotresized: What I’ll do is post and comment on some of the more opaque points, especially those raised in FSR or in Lifecut / Hikari / Danwa.

newmascotresized: One thing I should mention is that The Silver Case gave you the translations for Tokio’s chapter titles in the achievement list if you were playing with them on. The 25th Ward does not do that, so I will.

newmascotresized: This chapter’s title, Utsutsu (現つ), has two meanings: it means “consciousness”, but also can mean “reality”.

newmascotresized: The text scroll outright lies in a couple of spots, like this one where it claims that Morikawa’s notebook had something in it. We know from Flower, Sun and Rain that this is not true.

newmascotresized: This part, however, is. We find out in Flower, Sun and Rain that Lospass Island was a cover for a hyena farm used to try and generate silver eyes.

newmascotresized: One new thing this confirms that there are two “real” Kamuis - Tokio is one, since he has the original Kamui’s consciousness in his eye. This is what is making him see ghosts when we see him in Hikari. The other “real” Kamui is Big Dick, the last holder of the artificial Kamui consciousness created by the Shelter Kids program.

newmascotresized: There’s a list of deaths at one point, which the game admits is wrong - we know Munakata can’t be dead because we saw him in Danwa. This also leaves out Mikoshiba, who Munakata killed in Lifecut.

newmascotresized: I also like to think that Morikawa never actually died. I mean, Kusabi made up the entire Silver Case, who’s to say he didn’t lie about that?

newmascotresized: The last three are proven - well, kinda. Depending on how you interpret FSR, the original Sumio may or may not be alive: there’s a plot point that the reason the day keeps resetting is because there are actually multiple planes and multiple Sumio clones running around, but one of the main interpretations of FSR’s plot is that everything up to where Tokio shows up is a dream.

newmascotresized: The image from Hikari comes in as soon as Kaoru Hachisuka’s name appears, and confirms that Tokio was in fact talking to him during that segment… though technically, if you think about it, that conversation was Kamui talking to Kamui about Kamui.

newmascotresized: We’ll end this with the one important part of Utsutsu.

newmascotresized: Oh look, it’s those old “Daily Word” emails Tokio used to get.

newmascotresized: Next time, we’ll do New World Order. The Matchmaker arc is technically available, but I’m going to do New World Order before I touch the first Matchmaker chapter.

Summary

newmascotresized: New World Order is our first full-size chapter - it’s about as long as Decoyman was.

newmascotresized: It’s hard to see in screenshots because it’s virtually the same color as the building, but you can see a bag being thrown out the window.

newmascotresized: This guy’s name is Hatoba. While this game doesn’t have a manual that explains who the characters are the way that The Silver Case did, it does have an artbook… that of course I bought.

newmascotresized: The artbook explains that Hatoba is the chief of the 25th Ward Heinous Crimes Unit, making him this game’s equivalent of Kotobuki.

Kosaka: “No, I just arrived myself.”

Kosaka: “Since Sakaguchi’s funeral. That was five years ago.”

newmascotresized: In case you’ve forgotten, Sakaguchi was the guy Kusabi called “Afro”, an investigator from Central who worked with Kosaka. He showed up in Parade.

Sakaguchi

Hatoba: “Wow, so it’s been that long? Ever since that case…”

Kosaka: “I’d prefer if you didn’t speak about that.”

Hatoba: “Yeah, sorry about that. But the past is the past. You can’t force yourself to forget it, you know?”

newmascotresized: All he needs to say now is “It can’t be helped” and then Kusabi can legally murder him.

Kosaka: “Anyway… what did you want to speak with me about?”

Hatoba: “Where are you at these days? I’ve heard rumors…”

Kosaka: “I’m working as an official at the Ministry of International Trade and Industry. I wasn’t cut out for criminal investigation. I’m really satisfied with my current position.”

newmascotresized: I can’t help but read this in the “Milkman” voice from Psychonauts.

Hatoba: “Can I take that at face value? A detective who was once on the front lines of investigation is satisfied working as a bureaucrat… I don’t believe that.”

Kosaka: “I thought the same thing… I was worried about whether I’d really be able to tear myself away from the job, but it turns out I was made for office work. Even I was surprised by that discovery.”

newmascotresized: So what you’re saying is that… you were born to be a bureaucrat?

Hatoba: “That’s good. I was actually worried about you, after hearing that you’d left the 24 Wards. So this is a relief.”

Kosaka: “Thank you for thinking of me.”

Hatoba: “It’s an easy job. You should make some time to enjoy life.”

Kosaka: “Yes, I will. You take care, too…”

Hatoba: “There’s one thing I forgot… I’ve been hearing rumors recently. An administrative officer has been going out more lately, and has apparently been putting together a special investigation unit in secret…”

Hatoba: “It sounds like some really capable people are joining up. Have you heard anything about this?”

Kosaka: “No, nothing in particular…”

Hatoba: “Yeah, I guess you wouldn’t have. In this line of work, there aren’t many ‘capable’ people out there, so I thought it might’ve been you. Sorry for doubting you.”

Kosaka: “I’m not that good. I’m far away from all of that now.”

Hatoba: “Not that far. It’s got to do with what’s happening here, right now.”

newmascotresized: Believe me when I say that by the end of this update, we’ll have already reached a body count exceeding the entirety of The Silver Case.

newmascotresized: This guy’s name is Mokutaro Shiroyabu. He’s this game’s replacement for Kusabi, even though he’s got almost nothing in common with Kusabi. I took one look at him and went “Yep, he’s a Kamui maspro”.

Shiroyabu: “Dead men tell no tales…”

newmascotresized: And this is Sakaki, who is currently Shiroyabu’s partner. She doesn’t have a first name listed in the artbook, and that should tell you a lot about how long she’s going to last.

Shiroyabu: “A resume he’d used at a job interview…”

Sakaki: “We checked out his most recent address, and it was a dormitory where single people tend to hang out. Nobody knew anything about Kurumizawa.”

Shiroyabu: “So no trace at all… where was he registered?”

Sakaki: “It wasn’t recorded in his ledger, and when he moved into the 25th Ward, all the data changed.”

newmascotresized: You mean he… killed… his past?

Shiroyabu: “So no trace here, either… doesn’t anyone know anything about Kurumizawa’s past?”

Sakaki: “Hm…”

Shiroyabu: “What? Cat got your tongue?”

newmascotresized: Clearly, Shiroyabu cannot tell the difference between a cat and a hamster.

Sakaki: “Well, uh… it’s a bit nasty, but…”

Sakaki: “Yeah, he ‘ate’ ate it. It looks like he’d been eating a load of female hair…”

newmascotresized: He had to eat the hair because otherwise he’d be bald, or possibly also piglike in appearance. Yes, I know that’s from like 2008. No, I do not apologize.

Shiroyabu: “That’s fucked up… just hardcore creepy shit.”

Sakaki: “Pretty normal perversion, really.”

Shiroyabu: “I heard this from one of my mentors but a crime where personal information goes missing isn’t a normal crime.”

Sakaki: “From whom?”

newmascotresized: I’m not sure if this is meant to imply that his mentor was someone from The Silver Case, but I don’t think Shiroyabu is old enough for that to be the case if this is really ten years later.

newmascotresized: This part is… kinda confusing, to be honest. I’m not sure if it’s meant to be the case that Uehara is in disguise as the building manager, or if the building manager is there and just has no lines, or what. We need to use the Talk option here.

Sakaki: “Apparently these condos had more than a million applicants in the first day on sale. Each tower has 3000 homes, and there are… what, 30 towers…?”

Sakaki: “That’s around 90,000 homes; that’s pretty impressive. Population-wise, by quick estimate, that’s like 300,000 people! But it totally doesn’t have that ‘lived in’ feeling, you know? There aren’t many people walking around, and there’s no karaoke place here…”

newmascotresized: By population count, the 25th Ward would be in 15th place with just these condo towers alone when compared to the 23 wards of Tokyo that actually exist.

Shiroyabu: “I don’t get your standards. People who care about things like karaoke don’t apply to live here… most of the people living here either have a reason to want to get away from the normal government, or have decided to make huge changes in their lives.”

Shiroyabu: “They target people from out in the sticks who don’t have some kind of group they belong to.”

Sakaki: “What the hell does that mean?”

Shiroyabu: “That means doing away with city life. What’s behind that is… pretty clear.”

Sakaki: “What is it?”

Shiroyabu: “I got no clue.”

Sakaki: “What, you don’t know either!?”

newmascotresized: We can use Talk again here for a couple of lines.

newmascotresized: With that, we can now Move again. All we have to do is re-trace our steps from when we were here in Prototype and take Shiroyabu and Sakaki to the crime scene.

newmascotresized: I got a little confused here, because we don’t have the passcode to the door anymore. What you’re supposed to do is Move again, but we can use Talk instead for some dialog.

Sakaki: “It’s not bad, though. This living space does sort of have a ‘25th Ward’ feel to it, doesn’t it?”

Shiroyabu: “That may be fine for you… for some people, this could be a real breeding ground for crime.”

Sakaki: “Oh yeah, I get what you mean. The psychology of fear can spread. They talked about that in the lectures…”

newmascotresized: I checked the script to see if there’s a difference between doing the optional dialogue and not, and as it turns out there isn’t.

newmascotresized: And this is Kuroyanagi. She’s closer to Kusabi but feels like she’s trying way too hard. I am willing to bet she is an Ayame maspro.

Kuroyanagi: “Did you sell all your cookies or whatever? You ‘detectives’ go on a nice little date? You think this is fuckin’ happy fun time? This case is already pretty fucked up. Looks like serial murders.”

Shiroyabu: “Sorry… we were talking with the building manager.”

Kuroyanagi: “The manager? You mean this asshole?”

newmascotresized: This game came out in the early 2000s, and Suda fucking loves wrestling, so of course she calls Shiroyabu “Jabroni”.

Kuroyanagi: “I mean, you’ve only been a detective for what, three years already?”

Shiroyabu: “It’s ‘Shiroyabu’.”

Kuroyanagi: “And what about you, Sakaki?!”

Sakaki: “Uh, yes sir. I’m helping out with the autopsy. Right, Hiro?”

Kuroyanagi: “So having a cute, young girl around is apparently a real motivator. Right, Jabroni?”

Shiroyabu: “Are you seriously going to keep calling me ‘Jabroni’? I really hate that nickname!”

Kuroyanagi: “Quit fucking around and start investigating like a big boy! Unless you wanna get tossed back out to the sticks…”

Shiroyabu: “Yes, sir…”

newmascotresized: I’ve been playing the Resident Evil 4 Remake this weekend, and all I could think about was a mod where you play as Shiroyabu and he is completely oblivious to the entire situation.

newmascotresized: One of the few improvements this game makes over The Silver Case’s UI is that when you hit Talk, you are then given a menu as to who to talk to, rather than having to turn and find the person you’re looking for.

Shiroyabu: “Her New Year’s resolution was ‘to become the kind of detective who looks good with a revolver’. And she’s got a really dirty mouth… Sorry for complaining like this.”

Shiroyabu: “The HC Unit forbids revolvers. Since she isn’t able to carry one for her day job, she moonlights as a bouncer. If caught, she’d be fired immediately. But somehow she never gets reported.”

Sakaki: “Sir? Are you OK? You had a hard time, huh? You found the body, right? You seem OK… are you used to this sort of thing? There are a lot of suicides around here, so you’re probably used to finding bodies and stuff… Don’t let it get you down.”

Kuroyanagi: “Get the fuck out of the way!”

newmascotresized: Once we’ve talked to everyone, we can talk to Shiroyabu again.

Shiroyabu: “Something is bothering me… it’s like… a pristine dead body, some really vicious blood splatters… I almost feel like we’re being invited. Do you get what I mean?”

Shiroyabu: “Hirooka, do blood splatters usually reach the ceiling?”

newmascotresized: My theory is that if they look around the corner, there’s probably an exploded ketchup bottle with a couple of chinchilla-sized footprints on it. Look, sometimes you’re at a crime scene and you want some fries, and then you drop the ketchup bottle and accidentally step on it.

Sakaki: “But like, what would the point of that be? This feels really weird for a suicide, doesn’t it?”

Shiroyabu: “Yeah, in the six months since opening alone, there have been more than ten suicides, which definitely sounds fishy…”

Sakaki: “Huh…? You see this hole here?”

Shiroyabu: “Hole…? Something smells… excuse me, could you cut the lights in this room for a minute? Something’s bothering me.”

Shiroyabu: “What’s this…?”

Sakaki: “This hole is… shining?”

Kuroyanagi: “It’s too dangerous to be here. Get too close to the fire, and you’re gonna get burned, too. You should get out of here. This place reeks of something hidden and dangerous.”

Shiroyabu: “Light?! What the hell… at this time of day…?”

newmascotresized: At this time of year, in this part of the country, localized entirely within this condo building. I wonder if The Simpsons sucks as much in the Kill the Past universe as it does in the real one.

Sakaki: “That’s awesome! It looks like Christmas lights!”

Shiroyabu: “Sakaki! Where are you? Respond!”

newmascotresized: He’s asking this, and they’re in a studio apartment.

Sakaki: “I’m totally fine! I’m fine, but the light is so bright… aaah!”

Shiroyabu: “Did that just go off again? Huh? What… Sakaki, are you even listening?”

Body Count: 1

Shiroyabu: “No… way?”

newmascotresized: I wish I had played this game before YIIK, because I would have gotten a ton of mileage out of this screenshot. I have, by the way, been periodically checking to see if that patch is ever coming out, and things seem to be leaning towards “No.”

Shiroyabu: “She’s dead…! Sakaki was killed…”

Kuroyanagi: “There’s a sniper up above! Stay away from the light and get everyone out into the hallway!”

Kosaka: “Even if our infinite karma was a means of killing our way of life, we wouldn’t notice; we’re just dolls, entrusting our everything to the system.”

Kosaka: “Smile for me, Sakura. I’m utterly powerless; I’m just not gonna make it. Yet another ‘perfect lifestyle’ has been born, and the dreamlike life based on despair contaminates the people.”

Kosaka: “This could be the readvent of the 24 Wards. Alright then, everyone - it’s about time to stop dreaming. All units - are you prepared? You have one mission…”

newmascotresized: I’m not sure how any of this makes sense.

Kuroyanagi: “Listen up, Jabroni! We’ve only got two combatants out there. This hottie, and your punk ass. But this is enough people to turn things around.”

Shiroyabu: “No way…! We don’t even know who or what this guy is!”

Kuroyanagi: “Quit whining like a little bitch and just kill this guy. If you’re gonna give up and die, then we’ll know just how capable you are. If you’re gonna be a detective, then man the fuck up and do your job for once! Got it?”

Shiroyabu: “Yes! I’ll take him out!”

Kuroyanagi: “OK then! Now lure him out. Run this way down the hallway and you should reach the elevator. Wait on the upper floor.”

Shiroyabu: “Huh? What about you?”

Kuroyanagi: “I’m gonna provide backup, obviously. I’m not so much of an asshole that I’d leave you hanging. Right?”

newmascotresized: We now have to go back to the elevator from Room 75028. Fortunately, we’ve done this twice already.

Shiroyabu: “Standing around here is dangerous. Come on, we’re moving.”

newmascotresized: You can see in the background that the highest floor is 80, so let’s go with that.

newmascotresized: The only thing we can do is talk, so let’s do that.

Shiroyabu: “Shit… what do I do now? I don’t get that bitch at all. What the hell kind of orders are these? ‘Lure him out’… the fuck kind of ‘plan’ is that?! She’s not even backing me up, either.”

Shiroyabu: “I can’t deal with this bullshit, seriously. Oh… were you listening? Were you eavesdropping? That’s pretty creepy, man. If you were listening, then just tell me so!”

Shiroyabu: “I’m not actually the type of guy to talk badly about people. To be honest, just between you and me, I actually respect her. That sounds forced, doesn’t it… I really can’t stand her.”

newmascotresized: Shiroyabu has the situational awareness of a rock.

newmascotresized: Yeah, you know how all those delivery guys wear futuristic tactical armor with night-vision visors. All the rage these days.

Shiroyabu: “Hey, what are you doing over there…?”

Shiroyabu: “The mailman, right? What kind of work requires a night-vision scope…? Some sort of private start-up or something? It must be pretty tough, though. Having to insource secure work to go up against private corporations… crawling up into the attic to assassinate people…”

newmascotresized: Oh look, it’s a speargun. This means we’re now trying to solve a murder done by Kamui with a Kamui and an Ayame… as a Kamui. We’re on multiple levels of Kamui at this point.

Shiroyabu: “Goddamn pampered, comfy bureaucrats shouldn’t be playing with grownup toys. Huh? What, are you mad?”

newmascotresized: What.

Shiroyabu: “So?”

Shiroyabu: " ‘Peacefully’? What are you doing here?"

Shiroyabu: “So it was organized crime after all… I had read that it was a plot by general contractors, but damn.”

Shiroyabu: “What a load of horseshit.”

Body Count: 2

newmascotresized: I really, really wish Suda would do an action game in the Silver Case/25th Ward setting. That just looks like it’d be really satisfying to pull off in that kind of game.

Shiroyabu: “But, like, there’s that ‘interval’, you know? That unique feeling you get when staring death in the eye… the mental strain between you and the opponent, the conflict…”

Kuroyanagi: “You’re gonna die, you know that? We’re in the shit here. Guys who wait around for ‘intervals’ get their asses handed to them. Next time you hesitate like that, I’m gonna kill you myself. So stop being a pussy.”

Shiroyabu: “OK…”

Kuroyanagi: “I’ll buy you some new undies later. So until then, keep your shit together.”

Shiroyabu: “Shit…”

Shiroyabu: “We’re surrounded… we can’t get out of this.”

Kuroyanagi: “These assholes are desperate, too. If this is their oh-so-holy workplace, then we’re the intruders.”

Shiroyabu: “That’s some arbitrary reasoning…”

Kuroyanagi: “Disposing of these guys is our own ‘arbitrary reasoning’. It’s basically the same thing, right?”

Shiroyabu: “Sakaki has been killed. We have a really big reason.”

Kuroyanagi: “And we killed one of theirs, too. So we’re even.”

Shiroyabu: “Even so, we have to avenge Sakaki!”

Kuroyanagi: “Jesus Christ you guys are annoying… all you need to do is whip out your guns and dispose of these assholes. This job isn’t about ‘reasons’ and ‘reasoning’ and shit like that.”

Shiroyabu: “But motive is important.”

Kuroyanagi: “What-the-fuck-ever.”

Kuroyanagi: “Don’t get in the way, Jabroni. And don’t do anything stupid. Got it? This is a really big catch. Act accordingly.”

Shiroyabu: “Well I’m gonna turn into a ferocious-ass beast myself.”

newmascotresized: Next time, we’ll probably finish New World Order.

Summary

Body Count: 41

newmascotresized: The look on Kosaka’s face is kind of funny if you assume Uehara is a hamster, because he’s staring ahead dumbfounded at the idea that a hamster just killed an entire hit squad.

Kosaka: “Name?”

Kosaka: “I see… be sure to take proper care of her surviving family.”

Kosaka: “What about our guy…?”

newmascotresized: Uehamster is like, Infamous Level 200 in Payday 2… or rather, the DLC-fueled husk of what used to be Payday 2 made by whatever skeleton crew still exists at Overkill after that godawful Walking Dead game.

Kosaka: “Good work… get out of the area as soon as the evidence has been destroyed.”

Kosaka: “This isn’t finished yet. You’re still out there, somewhere close by… you’re out there somewhere, laughing. Such an avaricious beast. Where are you? Looking down at the world and fucking laughing…”

Kosaka: “There you are, up on the top floor. Who are you? Uehara is on the top floor of this building.”

newmascotresized: We now have to go through the intro sequence from Prototype a second time. You might be thinking “Oh, this can’t be Uehara because he’s on the top floor,” and no, it’s Uehara. You’ll see.

Sakura: “Please use this.”

Sakura: “It’s a security card for the special elevator. The person you need to meet with is on the top floor.”

newmascotresized: The first thing I said when I watched this was “Wait a second, weren’t those exact stool-chairs in Animal Crossing?” and yes, yes they were.

newmascotresized: This is the part where the game starts getting weird.

newmascotresized: Like how my mom goes to the garden center on the first day of April and buys a literal vanload of discount mulch from last year.

newmascotresized: I did bonsai once. It was awful.

newmascotresized: The reason is because if you try to construct one in the country, you run into zoning laws and people over 40 who are ready to start an anti-government militia if someone should dare construct a building within five miles of their house.

newmascotresized: Uehamster already had to spend time today teaching Shiroyabu the difference between a mailman and a hitman, and now he has to teach this guy the difference between a flea and a hamster.

Nakane: “Mr. Uehara, it was me who called you here. I’m taking over the reigns of the 25th Ward. After obtaining a wealth of actual power, I established this 25th Ward. For the purpose of creating the utopia of my dreams…”

Nakane: “Corporate kidnappings and the like are child’s play. This is how governments fail and collapse. For this new form of community, securing human resources is of the utmost priority. Capable human resources are what create a superior city.”

Nakane: “Where the 24th Ward went wrong was its prolongation of its plans based on growth and education. People are not made. People are scouted. This is where the ideology of the 25th Ward lies.”

newmascotresized: It’s funny because Uehara (and probably Shiroyabu and Kuroyanagi) are probably all artificial personalities.

Nakane: “Due to environmental and situational factors, capable human resources are rising up all throughout the country. However, there are absolutely no measures for their support or securement.”

Nakane: “As if to strike a final, devastating blow, huge numbers of employees have been let go from the postal service. These are the future citizens of the 25th Ward. For this purpose, building on the foundation set up by the former postal service, efforts toward mandatory citizen registration have been enhanced greatly.”

newmascotresized: I’m… not entirely sure what that last part is about. Japan already has mandatory citizen registration - it’s called the koseki system, and I talked a bit about it in the Silver Case LP.

Nakane: “The inception of the project lies in indirect community administration. The purposes of use of people’s IDs are clarified in order to construct efficient and effective interpersonal relationships.”

Nakane: “Then, by making rules and punishments clear, honesty and equality can be guaranteed. It becomes the city of dreams for those who want it. The urban residents absolutely swarmed in…”

Nakane: “However, that alone does not realize the ideal. It simply reconstructs a corrupt and depraved society once again.”

Nakane: “Basically, it’s a plan for a new, second capital. Many of the politicians hungry for revenge supported the plan.”

newmascotresized: Hold on… wasn’t that Hachisuka’s exact plan? Getting the capital moved to the 24th Ward so he could have absolute control of it through Nezu?

Nakane: “The powerful modern-day lords of the various regions sent many residents to the 25th Ward. Community-based purges of unwanted and unnecessary human resources were led by politicians. A cleansing for the outlying regions, and a boon for the 25th Ward.”

Nakane: “But the 25th Ward also needs to be cleansed. While they may be the chosen few, recessive elements are born. These elements absolutely must be processed and disposed of.”

newmascotresized: And here I thought I was done LPing games with Hitler in them after Innocent Sin.

Nakane: “The Heinous Crimes Unit to which you belong is a special agency created for this purpose. The special rights you’ve been granted were provided in expectation of a similar ‘cleansing effect’. Taking all this into consideration, I want to negotiate with you.”

newmascotresized: The HCU would like to remind you of their “We don’t negotiate with Hitler” policy. Kusabi would’ve shot this guy ten minutes ago.

Nakane: “I want to consolidate and aggregate these scandals of the 25th Ward. Therefore, I’ve prepared a new name for you. I want you to work under this name. You just need to do adjustments.”

newmascotresized: Isn’t that… already his name?

Nakane: “You should have no reason to decline. Kamui has been burned into your memory. You will enliven this city. I want you to become the driving force behind these people’s lives.”

Hatoba: “I mean, I say ‘suicides’ but the causes of death are unknown. The police haven’t been able to intervene. It’s been hard for me to get by, too…”

Kosaka: “I’ll look into it.”

Hatoba: “If you get the chance, lend me a hand.”

Kosaka: “So, what are you here for today?”

Hatoba: “There’s been an incident which I can say with certainty wasn’t a suicide. The postal service manages this residential area. They’re literally hiding out in these apartment buildings.”

Kosaka: “Did you meet with the ‘diver’?”

Hatoba: “Our agents did some pretty heavy processing. But some guys in white jumpsuits snatched the delivery guy.”

Kosaka: “That was supposed to be our way of assisting you…”

Hatoba: “What in the fuck exactly are you?”

Kosaka: “Hatoba, how deep have you ventured?”

Hatoba: “Can I ask you one thing?”

Kosaka: “What is it?”

Hatoba: “Why didn’t you pull the trigger earlier? At that time, disposal would’ve been fully possible.”

Kosaka: “I was unable to discern whether I was dealing with friend or foe.”

Hatoba: “So you just let your catch go? To see how they’d move, or what?”

Kosaka: “No, that’s not it. My position and relationship with you are still vague. In all honesty, I didn’t want to make contact just yet.”

Hatoba: “I’m in pretty deep. I guess there’s still a lot you don’t know.”

Hatoba: “You gonna kill me?”

newmascotresized: You haven’t said the magic words yet, so no.

Kosaka: “No, I won’t. I don’t yet have the capacity to execute your adjustment. I’ll handle the matter once I’ve become stronger.”

Hatoba: “How modest. You creepy fuck…”

Kosaka: “There’s one thing I’m going to have to decline. The Ministry of International Trade and Industry is about to begin full-blown observation. They’re attempting to use their powers of forcible execution for the 25th Ward to change the laws of the entire country. Until then, just keep waiting quietly.”

Hatoba: “That’s impossible.”

Kosaka: “If it’s impossible, then we’re going to have a problem.”

Hatoba: “What kinda problem?”

newmascotresized: Oh, so just The Silver Case all over again.

newmascotresized: What if we simply… didn’t get Lifecut?

newmascotresized: Next time, we’ll do the first Matchmaker case.

Summary

newmascotresized: I’m doing this update on the same week as Shadow Hearts because I was inspired by a couple of things.

newmascotresized: The first would be the translator and typesetter on 4chan’s /a/ board who are continuing to do high-quality, inspired translations of a manga called Yofukashi no Uta, despite the announcement of an official “translation” that is “simultaneously” published (read: a day late) with the Japanese release. The official translation is done by underpaid translators and sucks shit.

newmascotresized: The second would be that the group doing a manga called Hatarakanai Futari (eng: “The Jobless Siblings”) put out eight pages instead of their usual seven, and I really like Hatarakanai Futari.

newmascotresized: We’re going to skip Matchmaker for right now and do the first Placebo chapter. I played through the first Matchmaker chapter and my recording fucked up, and it’s not that interesting anyway. That’s probably because Suda did not write Matchmaker.

newmascotresized: “Nagare” is the Japanese word for “Flow”, but it’s also used when describing the passage of time. The dictionary mentions a usage meaning “People who stay together after the end of an event” and that definitely also applies.

Tokioalt: “Disposition is a difficult thing. For example, even if you became unclear as to exactly who you were, something automatically makes you move.”

Tokioalt: It’s not only the reactions that happen inside your own body, but even your external surroundings undergo faint chemical reactions, and it all gets jumbled together to create your current situation."

Tokioalt: “Words like ‘fate’ are a bit of an exaggeration. It’s something more sensitive, more ordinary. But, like the iron shackles chained to a prisoner’s ankles, it’s also something extremely cold and inflexible.”

newmascotresized: Meet Tokio, again. In this game, he’s basically Chris Redfield. I should mention that Placebo is once again written by Masahi Ooka, the same writer from The Silver Case’s Placebo arc.

newmascotresized: I feel like Ooka made an explosive leap in writing skill halfway through The Silver Case, and now he is fully on his shit.

newmascotresized: Tokio’s options are a bit different than Uehamster’s.

newmascotresized: I saw this and I fucking smiled. Tokio came back for Red after all - and since I think this is meant to be the same boat from Flower, Sun and Rain, he probably got Red before he left the 24th Ward.

newmascotresized: Those are all our options. Let’s start out by Looking.

newmascotresized: And now let’s pick the only real option here and talk to Red.

newmascotresized: One thing I think they could’ve done better is to give the Placebo chapters a more distinct visual style from Correctness, the way they were in The Silver Case. I actually really liked how they did that.

Captain: “Tokio. This place here. You know where it is?”

Tokio: “Where?”

Captain: “The Kanto 25th Ward. It’s not too far away. From where you used to live.”

Tokio: “Used to…”

Captain: “Hm… you sober yet? Accept the facts. Take the hint.”

Tokio: “This place… where is this…?”

newmascotresized: I checked the script to see if it gives you a hint as to who this is Tokio is talking to, and it lists the name as “Nazo”, which is the Japanese word for “Mystery”.

Captain: “Inside a boat. I prepared everything.”

Tokio: “Boat?”

Captain: “Good boy. Look at my eyes. I’ve got a lot for you to do.”

Tokio: “Don’t… don’t do that… don’t pull me out…”

Captain: “That’s not gonna work. Listen up. What I’m about to tell you are some cautionary notes for moving around the 25th Ward. But these aren’t just for anyone. I’m gonna offer up an explanation customized specifically for you. Remember it well.”

Tokio: “I’m sleepy… just let me fucking sleep…”

Captain: “You’re going to look into what’s going on in the 25th Ward. First off is the high-rise apartments. You’ll find out soon enough what that high-rise really is.”

Captain: “At the moment, death is beginning to spread there. Nine people have died in four months. was it suicide? Or murder? You’re gonna look into the cases.”

Tokio: " ‘Cautionary notes’? Don’t make me fucking laugh. Those are goddamn ‘orders’…"

Captain: “Looks like you’ve finally come around a bit. I’m about to go over the cautionary notes.”

Tokio: “Anyway! Don’t order me around. Don’t prepare anything. Directions, guidance, orders… I don’t need that shit. Leave me alone.”

Captain: “You don’t even understand anything about yourself, yet you talk like a big boy… You know… you have no choice but to do it.”

Tokio: “Why’s that?”

Captain: “You have the dentist check it out. He scrapes down the cavity, removes the nerve, sticks in some medicine, and that’s the best way to take care of it. That’s what this is.”

Tokio: “The fuck does that even mean?”

Captain: “Right now, your head isn’t right. So clear this mission. That’s the only way you can take yourself back.”

Tokio: “This is bullshit…”

Captain: “Suss out your allies. Lock on to your enemies. These are the cautionary notes.”

Tokio: “And you, what about you? Are you not an enemy? You saying you’re an ally?”

Captain: “That question is no good. It’s meaningless.”

Captain: “Alright then… you can sleep for ten more hours. Sto-… Oh yeah, that’s right. One more point of caution. Quit smoking. Once you’ve managed that, let’s meet again.”

Tokio: “I… who am I…?”

Tokio: “Dentist…”

Tokio: “Is it… him? No way…”

newmascotresized: We have control now, but there’s not a whole lot we can do - even using Look just has Tokio ellipse at us.

newmascotresized: Instead, we have to use the “Computer” command. Once we’re on the computer, the menu changes to the same options it had in The Silver Case.

newmascotresized: If you’ll recall, Slash was Tokio’s hacker contact in The Silver Case. She was killed by Enzawa/The Bat in Ai, but somehow uploaded herself to the internet.

newmascotresized: The chats are formatted like the ones from Kamuidrome, and so I’ll be transcribing them the same way. The yellow text is Tokio, the orange is Slash.

Tokio: thats hella expensive

Slash: transfer confirmed. but too bad!

Tokio: what?

Slash: you cant talk to girls with just a password.

Tokio: what are you saying?

Slash: you dont get it? you need points to talk. everyone knows this.

Tokio: you make me pay 100k and then pull this shit?

newmascotresized: What does an AI need money for, anyway?

Slash: i have a question

Tokio: what?

Slash: how come youre looking for the “goddess”?

Tokio: why are you asking?

Slash: just curious

Tokio: just kinda horny is all

Slash: you wanna get your nut off. nice!

Tokio: whats nice about that?

newmascotresized: I miss when I was doing a game about not being horny.

Slash: ok, take a memo of the following

Slash: the pirate site is called quarter

Slash: youre gonna log in and talk to a girl named “miru”

Slash: miru is one of quarters top 3 perfs

Tokio: hold up. whats a perf?

Slash: performer

Tokio: what kind of performance?

Slash: her performance is online virtual conversation with a stranger

Tokio: virtual conversation? or virtual stranger?

newmascotresized: Did Tokio just make an attempt at humor? Maybe he really did break his Kamui programming.

Slash: either one could be right

Slash: anyway. miru knows the password for “goddess”

Slash: all i can get you is 10 points

Slash: also just be aware that theyre illegal points so if the admins find out youre screwed.

Slash: theyre special points you can only use today

Slash: 1 point = 1 minute

Tokio: so 10 minutes

Slash: i got one condition if you want these points though

Slash: just so you know ill be monitoring your PC

Tokio: what the hell

Slash: i got nothing going on right now. ill watch

Tokio: fine. whatever

Slash: miru has no mic, but she has a camera

Slash: shes kinda super moody and can get cranky and lose her shit real easy

Slash: so basically shes got a real shitty personality

Slash: how funny is that? thats what people pay to see

Tokio: whatever. go ahead and laugh while you peep

newmascotresized: I hope you wrote that password down. This is why I do screenshot LPs.

newmascotresized: Yep. We’ve got to input the password using what is possibly one of the most awkward text-entry methods ever devised. That’s Suda for you.

newmascotresized: Miru is a dialog puzzle. Each time she asks you to respond, you have three options. Let’s see what happens if we pick the first one.

newmascotresized: We then get kicked out of the chatroom and have to restart the whole dialog tree.

newmascotresized: The good news is that once you know what the right answer is, the game highlights it. I’m going to only pick correct answers from here on out, except near the end.

newmascotresized: I do like that Tokio is still using the TurtleGuy username he’s been using since The Silver Case.

Miru: You have something you want to ask me, don’t you?

newmascotresized: I will say that I fucked up almost every possible option trying to find the right one.

Miru: It’s even easier to tell this way

TurtleGuy: i see

Miru: You’re gonna run out of points, you know? Whose password do you want?

newmascotresized: You would think that the correct answer would be “Goddess”, but it’s not.

newmascotresized: So basically, she’s a hostess only without the “having to physically interact with customers” part.

Miru: But her rates are ridiculously high. You could buy this necklace with a single point. Anymore questions?

newmascotresized: This feels like Suda somehow foresaw the whole ChatGPT thing. In fact, I think there are already dipshits trying to make what would effectively be an “real” version of Goddess.

newmascotresized: For reference, both the original game and the re-release happened years before even the first iteration of GPT was a thing.

newmascotresized: This is where we use the “Goddess” option.

newmascotresized: Again, might want to write that one down. Now, what if we picked the wrong option when she asked if we had any more questions? Usually, we’d get a generic response, but…

Miru: Having the same shitty, boring conversations!!! It makes me wanna puke. I actually do puke sometimes.

Miru: I mentioned the flow of the text, right? When I look at it, more and more and more and more, I feel like that flow is making me dirtier and dirtier."

Miru: All these thoughts, and wishes and hopes and dreams and all this shit

Miru: It comes pouring out through the net. It pours out of the monitor and gets on my skin and it’s just disgusting. I feel like I’m about to die.

newmascotresized: Well, we’ve gotten what we need out of Miru. Ordinarily, I would end the update here, but I want to do the next part because it’s kinda hilarious.

newmascotresized: Placebo is really shaping up to be the best part of this game, and it kind of makes me want to ignore Matchmaker altogether and just do the original Correctness/Placebo routes.

newmascotresized: Part of the problem I have with Matchmaker is that if we had done Matchmaker first, this would feel a lot more like Yume or Hana because we’d already kinda know the plot.

newmascotresized: Again, for reference, the orange text is Slash and the yellow is Tokio.

Slash: first you find one of “goddess’” clients

Slash: one who is scheduled to log in at 11 tonight

Slash: we already have the password which is the hardest part, so now you just need the user name

Slash: thisll be easy to look up

Tokio: easy?

Slash: like ive already found it

newmascotresized: This part admittedly doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, unless it’s some kind of system where your user name is acting as a password and all the “passwords” are the same.

newmascotresized: I mean, otherwise, how would Miru know which account the password would work on?

Tokio: easy?

Slash: like ive already found it

Tokio: how the hell do you do that?

Slash: dont underestimate 25th ward net researchers

Tokio: a bunch of creepy neckbeard hermits you mean

Slash: then, at the time scheduled for the real client

Tokio: i use that user name to log in, right?

Slash: yeah. except kinda different

Tokio: different how?

Slash: when a single user name has multiple logins it gets automatically locked out

Tokio: so i wont be able to chat then

Slash: yeah, regardless of who logs in first

Tokio: so what do i do?

Slash: you gotta make sure the real client cant log in

Tokio: is that possible?

Slash: if you put your mind to it

newmascotresized: Now, you would think that Tokio would lure the client out and, I dunno, tie him up or bash him over the head or something - but oh no, we’re about to do something much, much dumber than that.

newmascotresized: One nice but kind of annoying upgrade is that you can manually scroll through Tokio’s emails now. It’s annoying with this one because there’s no indicator you can scroll - I did it by accident.

newmascotresized: Girlfriend: Not Found. We have our mark. Let’s see how Tokio executes this, and I assure you, this is a Frank-level plan. We are about to witness Tokio’s own Ninja Art of Unlocking.

newmascotresized: We can now log out of the computer and get underway.

newmascotresized: We get these weird text scrolls, which I assume are Tokio’s new diary, in between locations. I’ll type these out like I did with the diary entries in The Silver Case.

Evening in Comoros

Ten 34-karat diamonds spin around in the sky as they show me a vision.

A fixed star in its terminal phase, that is to say, a white dwarf, is mainly composed of carbon. This carbon, under extremely high pressure, crystallizes and becomes a huge diamond, 4000 kilometers in diameter.

The diamonds tell me that this place is so cold, so dark, so far away.

Dark and far. And spinning. Something tells me that I understand what it is. That was my vision.

newmascotresized: For reference, the Comoros are a group of islands off the coast of Africa, between the mainland and Madagascar. Most of them are a sovereign country that used to be a French colony - except for one that is still a French territory to this day.

Tokio: "I’d like to speak with you about Quarter. You know, about the website, Quarter. You’re one of “Goddess’ " valued customers, right? Wait, hold on. Don’t hang up.”

Tokio: “Unfortunately, I can’t get into detail over the phone. Mail? No, I’m afraid not. I mean, that will leave evidence, right?”

Tokio: “Sounds suspicious? Well, that’s understandable. I mean, if I were you, I’d think so, too. But think about it for a second. Who tries selling people shit over the phone like this in this day and age? Right?”

Tokio: “So if you don’t trust me, you can just blow me off. Listen up, I’m only gonna say this once. I’ve got information on “Goddess” for you and you alone. I’ll be waiting under the clock tower in Area 7 in ten minutes.”

newmascotresized: I don’t know that I’d call that a clock tower, but okay.

Tokio: “Ah, so you’re Yagisawa, huh?”

Yagisawa: “Um, yeah…”

Tokio: “Sorry for having you come all the way out here like this.”

Yagisawa: “So what’s this… event?”

Tokio: “Huh?”

Yagisawa: “Uh, so like…”

Tokio: “Like…?”

Yagisawa: “Like, tonight, there’s some kind of guerrilla event, right?”

Tokio: “Guerrilla event?”

Yagisawa: “I’ve heard of them!”

Tokio: “Of what?”

Yagisawa: “They do these events every once in a while, right? If you keep coming back as a repeat customer, the chances are super slim, but you can win a chance to participate, right? Oh, but wait a second!”

Yagisawa: “Is this all legit? Are you really the Quarter admin?”

Tokio: “Yeah, that’s right. You’re quick on the uptake.”

newmascotresized: This is Frank-level strategy right here.

Yagisawa: “Really, like, for reals?”

Tokio: “Yup.”

Yagisawa: “Seriously for reals?!”

Tokio: “For reals.”

Yagisawa: “Pr-prove it!”

Tokio: “It’s YOUWAKU. That’s right, isn’t it?”

newmascotresized: Now, I’d like to point out that Tokio doesn’t know Yagisawa’s username, so he is getting by on sheer Frank power.

Yagisawa: “Oh snap! So it is true! This is like a dream! So like, what do I need to do next?!”

Tokio: “If you want to take part in this special, amazing event, then at 11 o’clock tonight, you need to log in with a different name and password.”

Yagisawa: “O-Ok.”

Tokio: “I’ll tell you now.”

Yagisawa: “Huh, wai-…”

Tokio: “Nope, you can’t write it down. That’ll leave evidence.”

Yagisawa: “Then…”

Tokio: “You have to burn it into your brain cells.”

Yagisawa: “OK.”

Tokio: “Ready? Your user name is…”

Yagisawa: “OK.”

newmascotresized: I would have asked Salty Vanilla to do a shot of Frank being somewhere in the background and nodding in approval, but I already have other plans for him.

Tokio: “And the password is a bit long.”

Yagisawa: “I’ll burn it into my brain cells.”

newmascotresized: This is what that locked door scene at the start of From the New World should’ve been. Johnny asks the kid how to open the door and he goes “Oh, it’s easy, you just put in the password…”

newmascotresized: And then the game cuts to Frank, who is now the main character. Thirty hours later, you can go back to the theater and find Johnny still there trying to figure out how to put the password in.

Yagisawa: “I can’t memorize that!”

Tokio: “Memorize it! It’s a special, amazing event with “Goddess”, you know.”

Yagisawa: “O-Ok…”

Tokio: "I’ll tell you just one more time. You ready? It’s ‘aqwsedrftgyhujikolp’.

newmascotresized: I’m kind of surprised that Ooka didn’t have Tokio give him a different password the second time.

newmascotresized: We’ll see how well Tokio’s scheme works in the next update. By the way, I have some new pics from Salty Vanilla I’ve been meaning to post:

newmascotresized: Here’s Uehamster teaching Shiroyabu the critical difference between a mailman and a hitman. We’ll run into someone else who has trouble identifying hitmen in the next update, when we meet the Goddess.