Colors Flying High - Let's Play Persona 5 Royal

[Timrod]

Summary

: Now let’s go to Mementos. It’ll be short.

: The area covering Sae’s palace opens up.

: “It seems the number of areas we can go to has increased…”

: “Well, more people know about us than ever. But probably not for the right reasons though…”

: “I’m sure this misunderstanding will be resolved once this is all over. Come, let us cheer up.”

: “She’s right. Plus, there will be stronger enemies the deeper we go. We’ll need to stay careful.”

: We start with an alarm, so I fuse another Tantric Oath for Yusuke and make Ongyo-ki. We need him to carry a skill to Sandalphon so we can carry it to Lucifer via Metatron.

New Persona: Ongyo-ki

Origin: Japan

First Appearance: Nocturne

Demon whose name means “Invisible Oni”. Supposedly used by the onmyoji Fujiwara no Chikata. May also be associated with ninjutsu.

: Like Attis, Ongyo-ki is a gimmick Persona. His ability doubles all healing he receives, and he has Regenerate 3 - which when combined with his ability will pay for any of his skills in one turn.

: You want Ongyo-ki for two things. The first is passing down his trait to Yoshitsune, because Yoshitsune’s trait kinda sucks. The second is Firm Stance. He’s one of two Personas to learn it. The other is the final Magician Persona.

: As I’ve mentioned before, Firm Stance reduces all incoming damage by half but sets evasion to zero. It’s very, very good on anything that doesn’t have a weakness.

: “He’s some kinda scam artist, right?”

: “Yes, and he only targets lonely, elderly people.”

: “How could he do something so terrible?”

: “Now this is a man who requires a change of heart.”

: “Don’t lump us in the same category with scam artists like you!”

: “Tricking nice old people into givin’ you their money… just how big of a jerk are you?”

: “Would you say something like that about your own parents!?”

: Wakasa is Chernobog… only without Chernobog’s gaping weakness to Bless and Fire.

: He gets slammed before he can even really do much of anything. No one took unintentional damage - the HP missing from Yusuke is from using his skill.

: I should mention that Ann learns Concentrate before we leave, which is the point at which Attis becomes worth it.

: “It was really horrible of you to take advantage of people’s weakness like that.”

: “What do you intend to do from now on?”

: We get a piece of armor that will not matter in the slightest.

: We can now go into the Sae area of Mementos.

: “Is it just my imagination, or is this place even creepier?”

: “No, you’re right. Without exaggeration, this repugnant place is an assault on the senses.”

: “Uh, sure, and the enemies here are gonna be pretty feisty, too! Be careful, all right?”

: There’s 30 stamps here, just like there were in the last area. We’re going to have to come back here anyway, so I only grabbed 27 before leaving. With that, let’s get fusing.

New Persona: Cybele

Origin: Phrygia (Present-day Turkey)

First Appearance: Devil Summoner

Phrygian mother goddess who rules over nature. May have been adapted from a Hittite goddess called Kubaba. Later assimilated into Greek mythology, where she was also a nature goddess and had a priesthood consisting entirely of trans people and eunuchs. Her cult was also known for worshiping Attis, who we already know is heavily connected to her in myth.

Cybele was also adapted by the Romans as the goddess of Troy.

: Cybele is made from Ongyo-ki and Black Frost, and is there entirely to pass down skills to both Attis (who I hadn’t actually fused yet) and Lucifer via Metatron and Sandalphon.

: This isn’t the final one I fused; I forgot to put Concentrate on to pass down to Attis, so I reloaded the game. Cybele also itemizes into one of the two strongest melee weapons for Makoto.

: The other choice is from Asura, which has slightly lower stats but has a chance to apply a random status effect on hit.

New Persona: Parvati

Origin: India

First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei II

Hindu goddess of love and beauty. Parvati is Shiva’s second wife, but also technically his first wife because she’s a reincarnation of Sati - his first wife. She is the mother of Ganesha and Kartikeya. Also capable of fusing with Shiva to form the half-male, half-female god Ardha.

: Does this technically make Shiva the ultimate wife guy? I mean, he married the same person twice and then decided he loved his wife so much he wanted to be part of her.

: If you’re wondering about the dumbass skillset, that’s because we’re using Parvati solely to fuse Baphomet, who we need to fuse Sandalphon.

New Persona: Baphomet

Origin: Europe

First Appearance: Megami Tensei II

King of demons, typically depicted with the head of a goat and the body of a woman. Supposedly has the power to control all human women, and is a source of power for witches. The Knights Templar were at one point accused of worshiping Baphomet, though this was later discovered to be a plot by the French king to obtain their gold.

In reality, Baphomet is probably a demonized version of Muhammad, the prophet of Islam.

: Baphomet’s another Persona we don’t really give a shit about.

New Persona: Sandalphon

Origin: The Kabbalah

First Appearance: Devil Summoner

Archangel of Jewish myth. Twin brother of Metatron, which is why he’s a robo-angel. Master of heavenly songs, and apparently so large that it would take 500 years to walk across his body. Responsible for delivering prayers to God and determining people’s gender at birth. May or may not be an angelic form of Elijah.

: Sandalphon isn’t a terrible Persona if you need to fill a gap in your elemental coverage, but he’s just not as good as most of the dedicated elemental Personas. In this case, we’re using him purely to carry Firm Stance to Lucifer.

: If we try to itemize Sandalphon, this happens. This is because Sandalphon itemizes into Kasumi’s best melee weapon.

: “Well, you’re in the third area on this floor. That makes it the 55th area overall.”

: “Man, Mona, you were right. This place is astrologically big, or whatever you said.”

: “Well… I’m surprised too…”

: Ann learns Concentrate, and will learn Fire Amp before we leave here. At that point, she can easily hit four-digit damage numbers.

: Leveling up Baton Pass does in fact pay off. This might seem low for Joker, but this is with Beelzebub using Maeigaon after a single baton pass without Concentrate.

New Persona: Jikokuten

Origin: India

First Appearance: Megami Tensei II

Buddhist guardian deity who protects the East. Also appears in Chinese and Japanese buddhism. Leader of Buddha’s celestial messengers. Name means “He who upholds the realm”.

: Jikokuten is a low-level trashsona. We want him because he’s one of the components for Asura, and because we can use him to fuse Mitra. We need Mitra to make Sraosha.

: I think I grabbed Mitra back in Futaba’s Palace, but never put him in the party to save him to the compendium.

New Persona: Sraosha

Origin: Zoroastrianism

First Appearance: Devil Summoner

Zoroastrian equivalent of a major archangel. Serves as a medium between humanity and Ahura Mazda, and protects souls on their way to the Zoroastrian heaven from attacks by demons by hitting them with a club. Later became a god in his own right who protects the material world.

Also appears in ancient Persian Islamic art as an angel named Surush.

: Sraosha is a five-way special fusion between Mitra, Mithras, Melchizedek, Lilith, and Gabriel. The only reason we want him is to itemize him into the best armor for female characters… which failed like four times due to accidents.

: Fuck accidents. I wound up running out of black robes because I kept forgetting to save, so only Ann and Haru have the best armor.

: Zouchouten, Koumokuten and Bishamonten are all direction-affiliated Buddhist guardian deities. Bishamonten is a little more involved because he’s one of the Seven Lucky Gods in Japan. And with their powers combined…

: Asura is the best Nuke Persona in the game… kind of. His stats are lower than a lot of the other specialist elemental Personas, and that’s why we’re going to fuse him into something else.

: Anyway, that’s all the fusion I’m going to do in this particular dungeon. Let’s take a look at the final Persona roster we’ll have heading into Shido’s palace.

: First up is Big Mike 2.0, who takes Asura’s skillset and combines it with Kohyru’s to make him the best Nuclear Persona I can make. He’s also a pretty good Psy caster, and has Ali Dance. If I could’ve found some way to get him Firm Stance I probably would’ve, but Ali Dance is good enough.

: Next up is Beelzebub. Best Curse Persona, still pretty competent at fire. I probably could’ve gone back and re-fused him with Ali Dance or Firm Stance, but his magic stat is wasted on Maeigaon.

: Mada gives us very powerful Fire coverage, despite not being quite as high-statted as Beelzebub.

: Satan has both Ice coverage and the best Almighty spell in the game, combined with the second-highest magic stat (tied with Beelzebub) of any non-DLC Persona. I’ll probably stick Ice Boost over Concentrate, since we now have…

: Attis 2.0. He’s an amazing support Persona, between his 66% evasion rate, complete lack of weaknesses and ability to buff the entire party at once. He also has the best heal in the game and the ability to remove most status effects. Attis will be our Concentrate carrier, and will be our starting Persona for all boss fights.

: Note that he doesn’t have Spell Master - this is because we’re only really using him to open boss fights and buff occasionally. Most of our other Personas have single-digit SP costs for their spells, so it’s not like we’re ever going to run out of MP.

: Gabriel is still our Lightning coverage, despite having a magic stat slightly under Odin’s. The reason I haven’t bothered to get her Spell Master is that one of the 12 possible fusion combos for Odin is Metatron and Gabriel - so I’ll just make another Odin at that point that has Spell Master and Ali Dance.

: Mara is here because no roster is complete without him. He’s still a pretty okay Gun Persona, even if his role as a Psychic nuker has been overtaken by Kohryu and Michael. I might see later on if I can re-fuse him with Ongyo-ki’s trait and Regenerate 3.

: Baal is still the same way he was back when we fused him in Okumura’s Palace. That’s because I’m waiting on the final Magician Persona so I can fuse the two of them together.

: And that’s our final roster. You might notice a lack of Bless and Physical coverage - this is because we’ll be unlocking Metatron and Yoshitsune soon, along with Lucifer.

: Next time, we’ll do a couple of optional events and then steamroll Shido’s palace.

[drcakey]

@Timrod

Mario Kart getting called the fuck out!

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 94

: We still have a couple of days to go before we go into the dungeon, and a surprising amount of optional confidant events left.

: “That’s right. The turning point of any era is when a hero is born. They address everyone’s fears and worries and skillfully carry out a revolution. Representative Shido is like that, don’t you think?”

: Does he always gravitate toward the worst possible people?

: “A hero? Him…? Don’t make me laugh. This is getting really bad. We need to make everyone realize it.”

: Over the next couple of weeks, we’re going to be seeing a lot of optional confidant events that involve Joker picking a place to bring someone. I believe these can be done at any time once you’ve unlocked the relevant locations, provided you’re not going to rank up.

: “Sure thing. Where we goin’? I think I’d prolly pick somewhere with good food if it were up to me…”

: We’re going to take Ryuji to the ramen shop in Ogikubo first.

: “We’re gonna look like we’re just goin’ for the new fad, but my stomach’s already in ramen mode. C’mon, let’s get in line!”

: “Ain’t you totally fallin’ for this soy sauce flavor too!?”

: “Right!? Tokyo guys are all over this stuff! You’re one of us now. Anyways… .thanks for askin’ me here today. I’m all cheered up now 'cause of you!”

: Joker’s like “I’m one of what? A dumbass who is so dense as to be unbelievable?”

: “Huh, looks like they’re givin’ out presents. Here, you can have mine.”

: “I’m not crazy enough about ramen to be showin’ that off in my room. All right, let’s run to the station and work that meal off!”

: Tonight’s more of the same, with an optional event with Chihaya at the Sky Tree.

: “If any place comes to mind, please let me know.”

: “The Skytree? Hmm… it sounds like a nice place. Let’s go!”

: “The skyscrapers are now under our feet… doesn’t that give you a sense of superiority?”

: “For some reason, when you say that, it makes you sound like a villain…when I’m at street level, all the tall buildings make me feel like Tokyo is a prison.”

: “But when I look down from here, it’s surprisingly huge. I forget how big it actually is.”

: “…All the members are still trapped in their tiny world. That’s why I need to help them realize that there are more important things than destiny. And since I realized that, I have to be the one to help them…!”

: This is another one of those events that I don’t think has a specific rank trigger. The only requirement to get it is that you’ve done the event at Jinbocho.

: “Okay… I have to do something! But for now, I’m going to immerse myself in the feeling of being a ruler of this city… and I’ll do so by your side.”

: “I had a great time today. …This is to say thanks for always encouraging me. May the light guide you…!”

: Joker looks nervously at Beelzebub and Satan. “Uh, yeah… the light.”

: There’s another Persona 4 reference on the TV today, so let’s go take a look.

: I’m of the opinion that Namatame should’ve fucking died. While you couldn’t make the comparison at the time, he feels a lot like Huey Emmerich in The Phantom Pain.

: “How was I supposed to know that throwing people into the TV kills them? You’re the one who belongs in that TV, Yu!”

: Killing him should’ve been the good ending. He’s either too much of a fucking idiot to live or was playing dumb to get out of being killed.

: “Isn’t he a bit old for a newcomer? Huh… that kind of makes me want to root for him.”

: “I love aquariums! I hope there’re penguins… let’s go!”

: Hearing someone talk to a character played by Jun Fukuyama about penguins reminds me of Shirokuma Cafe.

: “Ahh… I could stare at this tank forever. Aren’t the movements of living creatures just fascinating?”

: “Right!? Their will to survive shines through in their every move. If only I could perform like this… oh, speaking of performances! I really want to see the dolphin show!”

: “I might get some inspiration from watching an elegant dolphin moving in perfect sync with its trainer. Oh, but there’s a sea lion show too… hmm…”

: “Kurusu-senpai, which would you rather see? The dolphin show or the sea lion show?”

: Kasumi really belongs in one of those Saturn/Dreamcast-era Sega games that had a strange fascination with sea life. This game would’ve been better on the Saturn because it would’ve forced them to cut a lot of the pointless dialog.

: “You’re a genius! Why limit ourselves to just one? All right, let’s check out the dolphins AND the sea lions! We still have some time before the show starts. Let’s look around at the exhibits a bit more.”

: “Oh, actually, before that… I have a present for you, Kurusu-senpai. I saw this at the gift shop earlier, and it was so cute I couldn’t resist! Please, take it.”

: Speaking of games on other platforms, I played through Psychonauts 2 recently and I think it’s what they should’ve done with Strikers instead of making it a generic-ass action RPG.

: There is an entire stage where Razputin has a character explain Jungian psychology to him and then gets a powerup that gives him a Persona. That one stage fucking rules.

: We spend the night doing one last round of darts to get everyone to Rank 3 except Morgana. One thing I find out later is that baton pass kind of becomes a lot less useful in Shido’s palace.

: In fact, let me talk about that a little. Roughly half the enemies in Shido’s palace do not have a weakness, and in most cases it’s more efficient to just nuke them down rather than try to go for Technicals.

: What I’m saying is that Shido’s palace is poorly designed, a fact that will make itself obvious from about the first minute we actually set foot in it.

: “Charismatic, eh? I suppose that’s an accurate description, at least in terms of deceiving people. He only thinks of people as stepping stones for his own personal gain.”

: “…Father… Father, is this the type of person you fought to protect us from? I will fight against this injustice with my own power. I’ll be all right. I have Sis and the Phantom Thieves on my side. So… watch over me, okay?”

: Okay, Makoto? Clearly you have no grasp of dumbass shonen battle anime. You say that when your partner has died and you’re ass-pulling a last minute ability because the writers wrote themselves into a corner.

: We’re going in tomorrow. Today, we have an optional event with Futaba in Asakusa.

: “Nope! Nope, nope, nope! I-I wanna go home and hide in my futon…”

: “A ninja!? Where!? WHERE!? I know… they have to be in hiding. I’ll find them! Now that I take a better look around… aren’t there a lot of foreigners here? I guess this kind of place is unique to Japan, after all.”

: “Actually… I’m a little excited too. Even though I hate crowds… weird. Okeydokey, let’s go explorin’! Akira, you walk ahead and push through the crowd for me.”

: There’s a TV thing tonight, and one more tomorrow morning.

: We’re going into the palace today. Because it’s so long, and there’s not much to this update otherwise, I’ll do a little bit of it today just so you can get a taste for why I hate it.

: Wait… did they just… acknowledge that Persona 2 exists? The first detective is Katsuya Suou, who we’ll see if the Eternal Punishment PSP translation is ever finished. The second is Akihiko from Persona 3.

: And this is, of course, Chie from Persona 4. This is the second to last one of these - the last one is on 12/14.

: The theme for Shido’s palace is called Ark, and it’s a remix of the track that plays when you’re walking around during the VN portions of the game.

: “We know the identities of the five VIPs.”

: “A politician, a former noble, a TV station president, an IT company president, and that cleaner guy!”

: “Hm, according to the map, there should be a restaurant up ahead.”

: “That’s where the politician should be, yes? Let us go check it out.”

: “We might be able to gain intel from talking to them. Just don’t ask any suspicious questions, okay?”

: Now, I have a theory about Shido’s palace. My theory is that the level designers went “We’re going to make this big fuckoff cruise ship map” and then the budget alarm went off and they realized that was about as far as they were going to get.

: This first room off the main area is two floors and is completely empty apart from a bunch of shadows. It’s also confusing as shit, so let me cut through the bullshit and show you how dumb this is.

: We entered from the second floor, and in the bottom-right corner of the first floor is the restaurant. Now, let’s try opening that door.

: “A members-only restaurant… ‘Ristorante…Elite’?”

: Uh, Ann? The sign just says “The Ark of Elite Restaurant”.

: “You really can’t read that either? Aren’t you suppose’ta be Lil Miss English or something?”

: “Yeah, Ryuji? That’s not English, it’s Italian. So, anyway…”

: Now, you’re probably thinking something along the lines of “The game is telling me to go find a membership card before I go in, so clearly there must be one in this big empty room somewhere.”

: …Except you’re not whatever dipshit designed the event flags for this dungeon. No, we have to go into the restaurant so they can tell us that we don’t have a card and THEN we can go look for the card in the big empty room.

: “Oh yeah, we heard about that thing earlier… what a pain.”

: “This is bad… we should retreat. It seems we won’t be able to get inside peacefully until we can obtain this membership card…”

: Now that we’ve set this pointless event flag, we can go outside and find a new conversation that will lead us to the card. I reloaded and checked this exact spot, and it doesn’t show up until you’ve gone inside.

: The new conversation is on the second floor, roughly here.

: “Hey, isn’t this a good chance for us? He said he dropped his membership card.”

: “I am not keen on this, but we may be able to take it from him if we can find it first.”

: “Hell yeah! He dropped it, so we gotta swoop in n’ take it!”

: Now that we’ve hit all these stupid plot flags, we can follow the footsteps to the bar on the other side of the room.

: If you’re wondering - yes, this is exactly what the rest of this dungeon is going to be. It’s less a dungeon and more a boring, repetitive cutscene disguised as one.

: “That was actually pretty easy. Should it have been that simple?”

: “Who cares? It’s all thanks to that dick Shido thinkin’ everyone around him is incompetent.”

: Whoa there, Ryuji. Those are some awful big words for you to be throwing around.

: “So he doesn’t believe in anyone… that must be why there are so many membership cards around.”

: “Well, it’s not bad that it went by quick. Let’s head to the restaurant and grab a letter of introduction.”

: So wait, if he thinks everyone else is incompetent and useless, why are they even on his ship? You’re not really supporting the narrative of this being a magic ark to save a hand-picked group of elites.

: “Special guests…? Eh, who cares.”

: “A reserved seat is special information. That may lead us to the politician we’re looking for.”

: “For real!?”

: “That possibility didn’t even cross your mind!? Ugh. Anyway, let’s head in and find a seat.”

: “Try not to get too excited, okay? You’re embarrassing us…”

: “That must be the table.”

: “Right. That influential politician comes here.”

: “…Why don’t we have a seat at the table next to it and wait for him? I’ll go. He may become guarded if we go in a big group.”

: “Does someone want to come with me?”

: Joker volunteers to go knowing Makoto’s track record of being THE SMART GIRL.

: “Hold up, Joker! Lemme go with her! I mean, dude! It’s a restaurant!”

: “What are you, a preschooler!?”

: “I was wondering why you were so excited about this… sigh”

: “Why isn’t anyone asking me to do this?”

: “All right, we’re going in. Everyone else stay nearby. I’ll give the signal when the time is right.”

: “Man, what should I eat?”

: “You can’t get full off of food in a Palace.”

: “He’s as dumb as ever…”

: “A salad garnished with truffles… and roasted lamb, please.”

: This sounds like something she read in a book, which I guess kind of makes sense given she’s a dipshit teen.

: “I can’t believe you can order so easily like that… say, ain’t we kinda young compared to the others here? They’re all involved with Shido, yeah?”

: “They seem to be major figures in the political and financial worlds.”

: “Whose? Uhh… I don’t see any reserved signs or nothing here.”

: “What was that?”

: “Skull! Be quiet!”

: “S-Sorry…”

: “I apologize for our discourtesy.”

: “Excuse me, might you be Mr. Ooe?”

: “This will be an impudent request, but would you provide us a letter of introduction to… Mr. Shido?”

: “We wish to be granted an audience with him… his political ideology resonates so much with us… of course, the same can be said about you, Mr. Ooe.”

: “Yes, sir.”

: Basically, this entire dungeon is Hashino realizing that he wrote this entire plot centered around a shadowy cabal trying to take over Japan but forgot to write a narrative that supports it.

: Out of all the people the Phantom Thieves went up against, only one - Okumura - was a member of the cabal. In fact, they never even really try to tie in any of the other palace bosses.

: I think there’s some optional dialogue somewhere where they tell you that Madarame and Kaneshiro were giving money to Shido, but if you need to put that in optional dialogue it barely counts.

: “Considering your caliber, I would assume that the target must have been someone quite important.”

: “Oh, you must be being modest…”

: Shit localization, D-. See me after class. “Oh, you’re just being modest…”

: “That was you!?”

: Okay so wait. Why would you even… why would you do that and not just kill the two people individually, especially when your entire goal is for the murders to look like accidents and go unnoticed?

: As we’ll find out later, Shido has a fucking yakuza hit squad that works for him - even if they didn’t have palaces/weren’t in Mementos, wouldn’t it have been easier to just order a regular hit?

: “I see… that was very useful, Mr. Ooe. Actually, my sister is a prosecutor at the Public Prosecutor’s Office. I could pass on what you just said to her… how about it? Won’t you give us a letter of introduction?”

: “The letter of introduction, please.”

: “Looks like you have one though! Welp, guess it’s time to use brute force!”

: “Guys!”

: This is going to be the formula for the rest of this dungeon: long cutscenes followed by minibosses.

: Ooe turns into Yamata no Orochi. We can destroy him with zero effort, but let me show you what our new boss fight strategy looks like.

: Yusuke uses Charge. Everyone else uses Concentrate except Haru, who doesn’t have it. Technically I should’ve subbed her out for Makoto but whatever.

: Joker uses Thermopylae for a full-party attack buff. This has a side effect of making enemies miss a lot. And now, let’s win this fight in exactly three attacks.

: Orochi is weak to psychic, which we can then pivot into an All-Out.

: Joker doesn’t even get his concentrated attack in.

: “Fine…”

: “In any case… it turns out Principal Kobayakawa was connected to Shido after all… no wonder he was so adamant about me digging up information on the Phantom Thieves.”

: That still doesn’t explain why some random high school principal was allowed into this big shadowy conspiracy. Did he order killings too?

: “Still, I can’t believe Shido just killed him so nonchalantly…”

: “The entire nation is underwater in his Palace. He must feel nothing toward one measly educator.”

: “In any case, even though that politician was cognitive, he turned into a monster. Up until Kaneshiro’s Palace, cognitive beings were nothing more than weak presences…”

: I mean, you know, apart from Sugimura in Okumura’s palace. Or the Haru-bot, but that wasn’t in the base game.

: “Hm? But he had the memories and appearance of an actual person…”

: “He was probably a Shadow fused with a cognition… it’s like making the Shadow wear human skin.”

: Of all the dumb bullshit in this palace, THIS is what you choose to explain away!?

: “I’ve never seen anything like that before… such power is normally impossible.”

: “Wasn’t Shido the one who destroyed the research done by Navi’s mother on cognition?”

: We already know he did!

: “Oh! Do you think that when he did, he took the results for his own purposes?”

: “Shido…”

: “For all we know, Shido could have some hidden trick that allows him to tamper with his own Palace. We need to be especially careful from here on out!”

: You know, it’d be cool if they actually did something with that. They won’t.

: “And in return, I only ask for your continued support… standing up to the world does require money.”

: “If the study of cognitive psience progresses, I believe it’s possible to increase the target range.”

: What’s the point of all that? Seriously, what was the point? They could have cut two thirds of that out - have the boss fight happen and then have the shadow explain the whole “I ordered the hit on the subway driver” thing.

: Can you believe we still have five of these to go? Yes, five. Not four.

: “According to the map, the elevator ahead will take us to the pool deck.”

: “Hm… if our intel is correct, there should be a womanizing ‘former noble’ there.”

: “Womanizing, huh…? I am so not up for this…”

: If you’re wondering “Is there going to be another segment in which Ann gets sexually harassed and/or assaulted?”, the answer is that this is a Hashino game. Of COURSE she will!

: The piano here plays a theme that is a remix of Ark, but sounds a lot like the opening theme to Persona 4. It has a name - the name is “Improvised Song Dedicated to the Next Prime Minister’s Ship”.

: This is honestly one of the only cool things they do with music in this game - the piano theme syncs to Ark, so when you leave the room it’ll go right into it, and it gets louder or fades based on your distance from the stage.

: And now it’s time for us to be introduced to this dungeon’s annoying and tedious gimmick.

: “This is prepawsterous! …Or something like that.”

: “Ugh, go to hell, Inari. Can you just come back here?”

: “Looks like we turn back when we leave the affected range. It’s not really a big deal.”

: “It most certainly is a big deal! Explain what just happened to us!”

: Okay so it’s called Furaffinity and…

: “So we’re nothing but rodents to him, huh? That’s irritating.”

: “I agree, but we need to be extra careful when we’re in mouse form. We won’t be able to open doors, and any enemy we try to fight in that state’ll beat us to a pulp.”

: They nerf the sight lines on the enemies so hard that I think I only had one notice me once the entire time I did this recording run - and it doesn’t matter because triggering a cutscene (such as examining the Shido statue) makes the shadow disappear.

: “So all we can do is hide? I guess we’ll have to change to a completely defensive strategy… I hope we can find a secret passage to get through there…”

: Here’s what the rest of the party looks like as mice.

: As a mouse, you can enter these small ducts that allow you to move between areas without opening doors.

: Now, there’s a bit of an exploit to these areas - the party will turn back when in hallways, so if you attract an enemy’s attention as a mouse you can run into the hallway and fight. You can also ambush enemies who are in mouse rooms from outside.

]

: At this point, the enemies kind of waver in and out of Insta-Kill range. Titania is an okay Nuke Persona in that she has Freidyne, Nuke Amp and Concentrate… but we’ve got Michael for that.

: Most of the rest of this dungeon is going to be “Enter mouse room, hold down the Batman Vision button until you find a vent, enter the vent, repeat.”

: “Hm, something moved… what was that button for?”

: These pillars control all of the Shido statues in the area. Turning them off turns off all the mouse rooms.

: We can then go back through that last big empty room to where we exited that first vent, and then open a door that goes to the next elevator… but first…

: There’s a door in the big central room we couldn’t open before because we were mice.

: Is it just me, or does that landing on the map leading to this room look like a dick?

: And now we’ve got a crystal skull to collect all of Haru’s hopes and dreams in.

: There’s also a room up in the corner that has a red shadow in it. We don’t need these, because we already fused the Persona from them.

: Kali is annoying to fight due to having a large HP pool, no weaknesses, and nulling fire. You’re going to want to bring Makoto in for this one.

: Or, you know, don’t. We don’t really need to. Alternatively, you can nuke her down to near-zero HP and use a Down Shot to get a negotiation.

: Welcome to the pool area. This is the last one we’ll be doing for this update - the rest of the dungeon will be in the next one.

: “Our target’s here, right? Some sort of former noble guy?”

: “Yeah. Let’s find him and get a hold of his letter of introduction!”

: I’d have done some in-between shots of Joker running to this guy, but the pool area is a big empty rectangle. There’s a total of like, two or three shadows walking around… and that’s it.

: “Uhhh… nice day today, huh? …Actually, m-maybe not. I-I wanna go swimming in the pool! Yeah! …It’s your turn, Panther.”

: If they wanted to go for the whole “Oh, these are SPECIAL SHADOWS” bit, they should’ve done something to make the level design reflect that. Make the palace non-linear, and give each target their own mini-dungeon.

: “What!? U-Um… h-hello there. We really would like to speak with you…”

: “We won’t take much of your time. Will you listen?”

: “Please, sir.”

: “Hey, you little…!”

: “No, we apologize for our lack of manners. Come on, Skull. We should leave.”

: “To be fair, you walked up to him and said ‘Hey dude’. You need to approach him with more tact. Starting the conversation with a quarrel won’t get us anywhere.”

: Let me ask you this. Why. We already know this is going to lead to a fight, and the developers had to know that this entire area was devoid of content. Why would they not just skip right to the inevitable fight when they know there’s fucking nothing in this room!?

: “Our approach doesn’t matter if he won’t listen to us. What are we supposed to do?”

: “Let’s speak to the people around here. Perhaps we’ll learn more about that man’s temperament.”

: “At the very least we might get some kind of hint.”

: “I guess that’d be better than nothin’! Welp, askin’ for info it is!”

: There’s one NPC we need to talk to, and it’s in the back by where you can barely see that shadow in the background.

: “Heh heh heh… I’ve got the perfect plan!”

: “That laugh was scary…”

: “Forget about that! Onward to the bar, you guys!”

: Now, it’s obvious what his plan is, but just imagine if they’d done something more with it. Have this area be a thing where only women can enter, and the female party members are poofed into their swimsuits when they come in.

: There’s a lot of ways you could go from there - you could play through it as just the female party members and fight the miniboss without Joker or have them find a way for Joker to get in.

: Or shit, maybe even make the whole “We can make clones of people” thing feel like less of an ass-pull and make a clone to distract him while you forge a letter using his stationery or some shit.

: The stupid part is, they actually simplified this area in Royal. It’s kind of hard to show without a shot from the base game.

: Okay, so you see those pink doors at the back there? They’re right next to the “N” in “Flu Season”. Those are the doors to the dressing room, and they’re locked.

: Now, if you’ll look over to the right a bit, you’ll notice a vent in the wall. In the base game, the vent was hidden under the stairs and was obscured by the stair supports.

: It’s disappointing, but not surprising, that they didn’t fix this dungeon for Royal when it was really the one most in need of a rework.

: “Hey, you guys rent out swimsuits, yeah? Give us some, ASAP!”

: “You moron…! Come on, Skull, let’s get out of here! You too, Joker!”

: “Naw, that was part of my plan! Over there’s the fittin’ room… I’m just gonna need your help findin’ a way in, Joker!”

: “You’re seriously going for the fitting room? Come on, this feels like a criminal offense…”

: “But we’re the Phantom Thieves! Just go with it… I got a plan! Hey, Joker, you wanna bust in here?”

: I don’t know why it bothers asking us. There’s no fights in the dressing room.

: “And more importantly, isn’t this a fitting room?”

: “Just trust me! Wait here and I’ll be right back!”

: I captured this shot too early to get the text to show up, but really, the empty text box works just as well.

: “What’s he up to? I have a really bad feeling about this…”

: “It’s perfect… hehehe! This’ll totally work!”

: “Skull… you have quite a scary look on your face.”

: “Actually, it’s creepy.”

: “Don’t worry 'bout that. C’mon, let’s head back to where that former… noble dude is!”

: “Well, there’s no way guys lounging by the pool would not check out girls in swimsuits.”

: “I wanna go home…”

: “Are we really going to do this?”

: “Um… no, but…”

: “If you guys don’t hurry, he’s gonna go off somewhere!”

: “Um, would you grant us a letter of introduction to Mr. Shido?”

: You know what would have been good writing? If they subverted expectations by having the noble go “What the hell is this shit, do you really think I’m going to give you a letter of introduction just because you’re in bikinis… and whatever that thing Haru has on is that can’t decide if it wants to be a one piece or a two piece?” and then you fight him.

: “A nobody?”

: “Yes, that may be true, but… well…”

: “We’re…”

: This entire thing is voiced, and Ann’s Japanese VA speaks this out in heavily-accented English. The subtitles match what she’s saying - they didn’t change this part in the English dub.

: “Ann Windsor!?”

: Or even better, have Makoto SMART GIRL it up and that’s why he fights you.

: “My father is the descendant of British royalty.”

: So uh, which one? You’re too old to be Prince William or Prince Harry’s daughter, and way too young to be anyone else’s.

: “Seriously!?”

: “These girls are the daughters of my retainers.”

: “Oh, yes. Lady Ann treats us quite well.”

: “I am.”

: Ahh yes, the well-known half-Japanese side of the British royal family.

: “…People tend to have such misconceptions, but that isn’t true. My hobbies include tea ceremonies. Then again, my father forced me to learn that art.”

: “Servants?”

: “You’re absolutely correct. I do feel a little sorry for these girls.”

: “For real!?”

: It also would’ve been good writing if at the end of all this, the noble gives her the letter and goes “By the way, Princess Ann, what happened to speaking English?” and just kinda laughs her away, since she stops even trying to speak English after saying her name.

: “By the by, about the letter of introduction… if you’d be so generous to grant me one, I’ll consider introducing you to my father.”

: “Thank you kindly.”

: “Oh no…”

: “Hey, um…”

: “Excuse me?”

: “Would you kindly stop this?”

: An Ann chooses, a slave obeys.

: “Now that I’m done using you - get away, you creep! This guy’s a molester!”

: Okay, so now I have questions. Clearly, they had to take their thief outfits off to put on the swimsuits… so why did they turn back into their thief suits? Did their original clothes warp to them magical girl style, or did they get duplicated? Is half the party going to be in swimsuits when they leave?

: “Uh, it’s your fault for falling for such bad acting…”

: “Oh shuddup! We’re doing this!”

: Oh look, it’s Forneus.

: Forneus retains his lightning weakness from Nocturne, though this fight gets a little interesting in the middle.

: He manages to brainwash Haru, who then casts a reflect on him. While I could easily just have taken the hit (since I think all of Joker’s Personas null or repel their primary element) I just said fuck it and went guns.

: “Only three more left! Were you asking Shido for mental shutdowns too?”

: We went through all of that bullshit, and he doesn’t even have anything to do with the plot! He had some people killed off-screen… or maybe he didn’t. We don’t even know if Shido granted his request.

: “I see… so this system of introductions is taking place in reality as well.”

: “So he’s screening potential associates to find wealthy people who won’t betray him…”

: “And that’s why the passengers are wearing masks. He isn’t deceived by people’s outward appearances.”

: Fuck you, Hashino! Stop explaining the goddamn visual design choices that I can already see! I have fucking eyes! Fuck!

: “In any case, Ann… your acting skills have developed quite strongly since our nude incident.”

: “Stop bringing that up!”

: “I hope you remember the conditions for our arrangement. Support me as best you can, understood?”

: “I’ll have you step down if I catch wind of any slack on your end. Are we clear?”

: “…Good.”

: Why is this here? Seriously, why is this here? We already know Shido uses people and only really gives a shit about them as long as they’re useful to him. We also already know he’s willing to kill them when he’s done with them. There’s no new information here.

: “Let’s see… one of them is apparently at the slots, and the other doesn’t leave his room? Well, the map says there’s an entertainment hall up ahead. Maybe the slots are there?”

: “Seeing for ourselves will likely be the quickest way to find out. Let us proceed onward.”

: Next time, we’ll do the rest of Shido’s palace. We’ll also fuse Lucifer.

[drcakey]

The link to Tokyo Daylight isn’t a link, just an image. Also, Ark is pretty good; I think it might be my favorite dungeon theme.

Based on some incidental dialogue in the game and certain aspects of where the ‘story’ seemed to be ‘progressing’, I had suspected the final Palace was going to be Tokyo – like, the entirety of Tokyo only distorted or something like that. The fact that the Shido’s Palace’s theme is a remix of the overworld theme suggests that might be what they originally intended, but they scaled it back because, as observed elsewhere, making assets is hard and expensive.

@Timrod

: “I am not keen on this, but we may be able to take it from him if we can find it first.”

: “Hell yeah! He dropped it, so we gotta swoop in n’ take it!”

Yusuke…he’s not real. And Futaba’s pyramid wasn’t real either.

(After reading for 5 more minutes) Or is he real???

@Timrod

: “He was probably a Shadow fused with a cognition… it’s like making the Shadow wear human skin.”

But they already do??? The Palace rulers are already people that turn into monsters??? Also does that mean that was the actual Ooe??? Or his…Shadow…like if we killed Orochi harder we would have killed him?

@Timrod

: “My father is the descendant of British royalty.”

: So uh, which one? You’re too old to be Prince William or Prince Harry’s daughter, and way too young to be anyone else’s.

No no, descended from British royalty. In the Attila the Hun sense.

@Timrod

: Oh look, it’s Forneus.

Legends say if Forneus ever meets Decarabia, the world will end. End even harder than usual, I mean.

[Timrod]

@drcakey

The link to Tokyo Daylight isn’t a link, just an image. Also, Ark is pretty good; I think it might be my favorite dungeon theme.

Just fixed that. Thanks for pointing it out!

@drcakey

But they already do??? The Palace rulers are already people that turn into monsters??? Also does that mean that was the actual Ooe??? Or his…Shadow…like if we killed Orochi harder we would have killed him?

My best guess is that those lines are like the one about the cognitive Akechi in Sae’s palace that doesn’t exist. They’re from an earlier draft of the plot and never got removed.

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 95

: Welcome to the second update of cutscene hell. This update has a shitload of pointless dialog and minibosses we kill in a single turn. I’d recommend you skim it for context, but not read the entire thing.

: Joker makes a mental note to scold Yusuke for running like Naruto.

: “I guess that means there’s a Shido statue here too. How troublesome.”

: “Hm… my ad-mice would be to pro-squeak cautiously.”

: “…”

: “Navi, my ad-mice would be-”

: “I believe she heard you the first time. Anyway, can we focus on the task at hand?”

: “Cheese… more cheese… is there any more cheese left!?”

: “We knew it was a trap but we walked right in anyway… aaaaand it doesn’t open from the inside.”

: “So, did the little meese enjoy their feast?”

: Wait, how did Futaba get in there to open the door? If she can just float over the floor to not be a mouse, why doesn’t she just turn the damn things off? Actually, given what we’re about to run into, it would’ve made a lot of sense to have a thing where if all the enemies on the floor are dead, Futaba can just fly over and hit the switch for you.

: “But jeez, who knew cheese could hypnotize? I seriously had no control…”

: “Indeed, nobody was able to stop themselves… it was simply too delectable. I must say though, the sight of all seven of us gorging ourselves, as mice, on a single piece of cheese… what a spectacle.”

: “But, was that cheese… even safe to eat?”

: “I don’t think we have to worry about that, at least - I didn’t sense any danger from it.”

: “I actually feel somewhat refreshed having eaten that.”

: “Hmm… then I vote that we have ourselves a nibble of we spot any more cheese! Now that we’re fed, let’s get moving!”

: I didn’t bother to check, but I think the cheese restores HP and SP. It’s mostly useful if you get spotted as a mouse, because it counts as a cutscene and will break pursuit.

: The hallway immediately after the cutscene is probably the most dangerous one, because you have two shadows that patrol the hallway. That door on the underside is locked and has to be opened from the far side.

: Dakini and Barong start showing up here, and I grab Barong so I can make Shiva later.

: More importantly, there’s a new treasure demon. Emperor’s Amulet is actually the Talisman of Charlemagne, a sapphire necklace that supposedly contained pieces of the True Cross and one of Mary’s hairs.

: Anyway, this area sucks.

: The entire floor consists of turning the mouse statues on…

: Then using the mouse to bypass locked doors…

: And then opening those doors from the other side before going all the way back to the switch. The whole thing feels like busy work in lieu of actual level design.

: You can encounter Narcissus here, but we don’t because we’re level 70 at this point and almost every shadow in the dungeon is within insta-kill range.

: There’s a locked chest with a sword for Yusuke in it that I only bother to grab because we don’t unlock his best melee weapon until after the last day.

: “Hm!? Look.”

: These paramilitary shadows replace the regular humanoid ones for the rest of the dungeon. They do shoot at you if you get spotted, but it doesn’t have any effect.

: “That seems to be a Shadow too. Be careful, guys.”

: “He looks way tougher than the other ones… you think they’re tightenin’ security?”

: “It wouldn’t be surprising. We’ve taken down two targets, after all. Let’s proceed forward cautiously.”

: We basically have to go past this shadow to get to the next area. It’s two Forneus. They die in a single hit each.

: One thing I forgot to mention is that with the best armor in the game, enemies can barely hurt the party. While we’re ending most fights without ever taking a hit, we’ll see one with the next miniboss.

: SP recovery items are always welcome. This area is mostly big and empty just like the other ones were. Let’s just skip to the door that leads to progress.

: “He looks super dangerous! I don’t wanna get involved, even if he’s just some old cognitive thing!”

: “Eep…! W-We’re totally not making a mess, we swear! Who are you anyway!?”

: “Salt water!? Does that mean… whoa, hold on a sec!”

: Ryuji’s having a goddamn Jimmy Neutron brain blast.

: We ‘fight’ this dipshit four times. The first time is two Baphomets. The second time is three. The third time is four. The fourth time… is actually fighting him.

: Sraosha fills on on Bless duty since I don’t have Uriel and we can’t make Metatron yet.

: Yusuke, we just slaughtered them in a single turn. If I had Metatron, that Makougaon probably would’ve done the job by itself.

: “That wasn’t funny, dammit! They were totally tryin’ to kill us!”

: “Maybe because we caused a scene at both the restaurant and the pool. Somebody has to clean up the mess. Wait a second… ‘clean up the mess’?”

: “Ohhh, that’s why they call him the ‘cleaner’! It’s 'cause he mops up any trouble that shows its face! That should make him pretty easy to find though. We just gotta disturb the peace somehow.”

: Futaba’s too young for it, but I’m picturing her eyes lighting up at the thought of a real-life reenactment of those Second Life raids 4chan used to do where they’d have a guy dressed as Mario jumping around and dumping so many particle effects that it’d crash entire blocks of the game.

: “But doing so would have an adverse effect on us finding the other letters of introduction. Let’s leave him for last and hurry over to the other two first.”

: I mean, that’d be non-linear dungeon design! We can’t have that!

: “In that case, our next target should be the TV station president in the entertainment hall ahead.”

: “Let’s go, Joker.”

: Oh look, a big empty room full of nothing but re-used assets. I suppose in the base game you could kind of understand this, because they pretty clearly shoved the base game out the door before it was ready due to the repeated delays becoming a joke on Twitter.

: You’d think in a full-price re-release that they’d be able to go back and fix this shit. Maybe remove some of the more pointless areas, or fix the ones that were there to be less big and empty… but we all know what Atlus’s slogan is. Can’t be helped.

: Here’s the best part. You see that staircase in the corner? This area is two floors! It’s two floors and the first floor is just a big empty room with a single shadow in it! Fuck!

: Once we go down the stairs, we find… another big empty hallway. See that doorway on the right side of the minimap? Guess where that goes?

: If you answered “Yet another big empty room that has two floors for no apparent reason”, congratulations. You are now qualified for a job as Atlus’s level designer.

: “Then the slot-loving TV station president should be here. Let us search the area for him.”

: There’s NPCs we can talk to around here, but other than that, it’s a big featureless void.

: King Frost shows up here, and even though he’s not weak to Fire (he doesn’t have a weakness at all, actually) we can still kill him in a single hit with Mada.

: “Whoa there, Joker! We can’t have you skipping minibosses and maybe doing them on the way back! What do you think this is, Persona 1?”

: The dumb part is that you basically have to pass by this door to get to where the next miniboss is.

: “Maybe we’ll find that TV station prez we heard about in here.”

: “In that case, why don’t we try searching for him?”

: “This place isn’t too big, so spotting him should be easy. Be careful if you find him though!”

: “He’s the president of a TV station, isn’t he?”

: “He gives letters of introduction to executives of companies who are willing to sponsor his programs. That’s a difficult condition to meet…”

: “Wanna just beat it outta him?”

: We could, but then where would we get dozens of textboxes of pointless exposition from?

: “Let me handle this.”

: “For real? But…”

: “I’ll allow it. You’ve got this, Noir.”

: “Yes, Senpai!”

: “I am Haru Okumura, daughter of the president of Okumura Foods. I believe we sponsored you as well.”

: I thought the whole idea was that you had to use the codenames and… you know what, forget it. This is a Hashino plot. Why do I even bother asking questions.

: “Cut off…”

: I can’t tell if this is just Hashino being on his bullshit again or if all this repetitive dialog about shit both we and the characters know already is from an earlier draft of the plot they never bothered to edit.

: I mean, if you assume that line about the cognitive Akechi in Sae’s palace is true, I could see an earlier draft of the plot where the party doesn’t know that the real Akechi is the one doing the murders, and to them it appears that someone has instead been implanting fake Akechis into people’s brains who then kill them.

: “…Won’t you please give me a letter of recommendation? Once our company recovers, I will arrange for us to cooperate with you in a sponsorship role.”

: “Thank you… very much…”

: “…Stop it.”

: We’ve got a fight against a Hanuman and two Jatayu.

: Satan knocks down Hanuman and freezes both of the Jatayu.

: The Hanuman gets exactly one attack off before Haru grinds him into paste, and it does around 20 damage.

: “I assume as part of the media, you have knowledge about quite a few important topics. We will not take your life, as long as you share the knowledge that you’ve kept from the public.”

: I wasn’t really reading this when I first ran through it, and now I’m just as confused as some of you as to what the fucking deal is here. Is this actually the TV executive’s shadow?

: Honestly, it doesn’t matter. None of this dungeon matters. They could have cut all of it apart from the boss fight we’ll run into before we leave and it would have been exactly the same.

: This is Hashino’s feeble attempt to make Kaneshiro relevant.

: “Shido and Kaneshiro were connected?”

: “I understand now…”

: “Hey, you were forcin’ the news to be about Shido and Akechi all the time, right? I’m sick of ‘em! …Wait, this guy’s not a real person. Tellin’ him ain’t gonna do shit for us.”

: “Come on, we have to take down Shido himself!”

: “Oh, certainly not to this extent… but it is important to note that he was the mastermind behind the recent commotion. Getting captured must have wounded his pride irreparably. Such things happen often to insurgent leaders.”

: “May I butt in for a second?”

: “The Phantom Thieves may have laid low since then… but they must not be excused! I don’t care if they come after me! For the victims of their evil deeds, and for their families…”

: “…My apologies. I didn’t mean to get so worked up.”

: “I will do the best I can. …Oh, but I do have to study for my college entrance exams. I might not be able to promise that…”

: “I wanted people to rely on me… I wanted to be needed… I devoted myself to my studies, acted as an honor student, and made my name as an ace detective. And thanks to the Nav app and the Persona bestowed upon me by the gods…”

: “I managed to dispose of any who got in my way. Though it took some time to finally do so… all that remains is to tell him.”

: “True… it did make me feel somewhat dizzy… just a little though. Perhaps my mind was worked up due to the major task I had undertaken…”

: Someone’s phone goes off in the background.

: “…A phone?”

: “A-Ah, sorry about that. I’m not bothered. Just make sure to turn it off when you go to the movies!”

: Just a lot of blank hallways, really.

: “We’re leaving the cleaner for last, so we just got that IT president guy left.”

: “We don’t have any clues about him yet though… either way, let’s proceed onward. We still haven’t gotten a full grasp of this ship’s layout.”

: We can now go through that door Futaba complained at us for trying to go through earlier. Guess what? It’s another big, empty hallway!

: We’re going to take this bottom-left door first, because the second will seed is here… but also because we need to go this way to turn on the mouse statues.

: This is yet another mouse-door puzzle.

: Now that we have the statues on, we can go through this duct to get back to the big empty main room.

: We can then use this duct to bypass the locked door to the next area.

: There’s a second statue switch here (it’s the checkmark on the minimap) and we can unlock this door to make a shortcut… but there’s little reason to do so, given that the only time we have to backtrack in this dungeon it’s to a spot that’s right next to a save room.

: And… another hallway. Clearly the level designers were taking from the Turok 2 school of level design.

: “Wait, you’re the one who attacked us, remember!?”

: We can kill two Baphomets in a single turn, so killing three isn’t exactly a huge challenge.

: “We caused no trouble whatsoever, yet were met with the same end result…”

: I found out earlier today that there is a private server for SMT Imagine, and I gave it a shot. It’s not something I can LP because it doesn’t work with OBS.

: “And on top of that, he up and disappeared again!”

: It’s a very interesting game and by interesting I mean kinda questionably designed. It was originally an F2P MMO with a cash shop, but that’s all been stripped out by the private server operators.

: It uses a lot of elements from SMT 1 - most of the music is taken from SMT 1’s soundtrack, and it more or less takes place in an alternate version of the post-apocalypse in SMT 1.

: The start kinda sucks because you’re at the mercy of the AI that controls your demon. Sometimes it works, and other times you watch your starting Cerberus get pummeled to death by a Pixie. This continues to happen later in the game because most of the time you either specialize in physical or gun attacks and things can null those. Even magic users usually only take one kind of magic.

: It’s also only partially translated, since the Japanese version went about two years beyond where the English one did before being shut down in 2016.

: “We should ignore him if our actions have no actual impact on the results. For now, let’s focus on searching for the IT company president. I hope there are clues somewhere…”

: Yes, ignoring Hashino is generally a good idea.

: Yep, it’s another rat maze.

: Oberon shows up here, but dies quickly to… well, everything.

: At the end of the rat maze is another elevator. This is the one time we need to backtrack.

: “And without any particularly useful information about the IT company president…”

: “He almost never leaves his room! Nobody’s even seen him around!”

: In case you’re wondering if there’s any NPCs or anything in the maze, the answer is no. They haven’t asked anyone about the IT guy.

: “Hm. If he ‘almost never’ leaves, does that mean there are times that he does in fact leave?”

: “Wouldn’t he have to head out to go to the bathroom? That’s how it was for me in my room!”

: “But there are restrooms in the rooms here… what about meals?”

: “Just one call and food gets delivered to your room.”

: “I think you’re right. Though this place is just a cognition, it has restaurants and bars as well. If the IT company president never leaves his room, somebody must be delivering the food to him.”

: “Ohhh, so you think we should get info at the restaurants too! Nice idea, Joker! Oh, and Queen!”

: We now need to head back to the restaurant we fought Ooe in.

: “Um, is it possible to have meals delivered to my room?”

: “Ah, you mean room service. You absolute fucking moron.”

: “Aha! So, is there one room in particular that always orders food delivery?”

: So wait, one thing I never thought of - is the waiter some kind of VIP as well? Like, he’s the best waiter in Japan or something? That’s about the only way I can imagine a waiter giving enough of a shit to check a boarding pass.

: “O-Oh um, we’ve been asked to make a delivery. It’s to the president of an IT company, I believe.”

: Hold on. Wasn’t this guy here when we turned Ooe into a fine red mist? How could he possibly mistake the party for a delivery service?

: “He apparently never leaves his room, but Mr. Shido has given us direct orders about this… now then, this is a highly confidential matter, so we must take it to him ourselves.”

: And another thing. Is this waiter a super shadow as well? Like, does he have deeply-held regrets about fucking up people’s orders on purpose or something? I have so many questions.

: “Well done, Queen! Just as I’d expect from you!”

: “Isn’t this pretty close? I suppose it’s just upstairs.”

: “It seems to be above the side deck we passed through earlier. Is there a way up somewhere?”

: “Honestly, guys, I doubt this is gonna be any use. If it were me, I’d never open the door.”

: “Well, that’s no good! What are we gonna do!?”

: “If only there was a way in besides through the door…”

: “In any case, should we head back to the side deck? Not that we’ll be able to get in from there…”

: We need to go back to where we encountered the yakuza guy. The fastest way to do this is to use the save room in the first area to warp to the one there. From there, we take a left instead of a right.

: “I mean, we ARE phantom thieves. We can use places that normal guests don’t have access to.”

: We could go this way, but instead we actually want to turn around because there’s a platform on the other side.

: I’m also not sure why this boat has these random platforms jutting out from the side with eight foot gaps between them. What purpose do they serve? This is fucking level design 101 shit.

: This area is just a hallway leading to the third will seed room.

: “I’m getting that feeling again - that’s a you-know-what all right. We’re in for a tough battle first, though. You ready?”

: This is a fight that’s more annoying than actually dangerous. Kali has the same MO that Girimehkala did - she uses Wage War to berserk the party… except she doesn’t repel physical, so that’s kind of a pointless exercise that only makes the fight take longer.

: Eventually the entire party is berserk. This might be more annoying if Ann and Haru didn’t already have their best melee weapons.

: Futaba gives the party a free Concentrate, and between Satan and Haru, Kali’s fucked.

: “Whew… thank goodness we didn’t get you-know-what’d.”

: “Yeah! And now that the path’s clear, let’s grab that you-know-what!”

: Should be enough to get us into Xibalba.

: Anyway, we can hit the left side now to get to where the next miniboss is. You can drop right down from the will seed area to get here.

: “I’m gonna go!”

: “By yourself?”

: You know, if they were going to do this whole “There’s five targets and each one corresponds to one of the party members” bit they could have at least designed the fucking level around that.

: “He’ll be on guard if we all go together… plus, it’s IT stuff! This is my time to shine!”

: “Should we leave it to her?”

: “It’s been left to me! It’s like that show where the kid goes shopping alone for the first time. Hehe, this is gonna be tough.”

: “She’s feelin’ good enough to joke around, so maybe this’ll be fine after all?”

: “Just yell if things get dangerous, okay?”

: “W-Well the door’s locked and you weren’t answering! How else am I supposed to get in here? Oh, but I get how you feel! There’s totes nothing better than relaxing in your own room!”

: I imagine he’s saying that because those women standing behind him are a lot like the ship - they don’t actually exist.

: “You’re an IT guy, right? I can tell we talk the same language!”

: “Hehehe… this little guy caught your attention, huh? I made it myself!”

: Add laptops to the pile of things Hashino doesn’t understand. While it’s theoretically possible to build a laptop from scratch, most places don’t sell components because the prebuild market is so lucrative.

: “Wanna see the benchmarks? It can pump out some awesome numbers. Although normally I just use this one as a sub-processor when I’m hacking into a tough system.”

: “Hehehe… ever heard of Medjed?”

: “Try not to be surprised by this. Actually, be surprised. I am Medjed! I’m the one who took down the fake!”

: “Don’t believe me, huh? Here, this is proof.”

: Can we just hurry up and get to the fight already?

: “If you want my skills, I’ll need a letter of introduction.”

: “Huh? Y-You prepared it?”

: “Because I’m a Phant- I-It was just because I couldn’t forgive someone using the Medjed name without my permission. So, why’d you send Medjed after the Phantom Thieves?”

: “That’s why…?”

: God dammit, game! We already know this shit! Fuck!

: “You little…”

: “…What a third-rate fool. Not only are your skills third-rate, but you stink worse than a third-rate person. Don’t treat me like we’re equals. I’m gonna reform society!”

: “That’s right! It’s because I’m a member of the Phantom Thieves! Picking on the weak and calling that innovative? Looks like I just gotta ban the guy at the root of all this… Shido!”

: “Now, you’re gonna give me that letter of introduction!”

: “H-How about a computer competition for it!?”

: Here’s what I hate about that last line. There was an interview I read years ago with one of the producers for NCIS, because I think they had done an episode involving video games and it had a bunch of shit in it that was obviously wrong to anyone who knew anything about the subject.

: The producer was like “Yeah we have to dumb down the nerd shit because our audience is like 60 years old and doesn’t understand any of that.” That’s what it feels like Hashino is doing, even though he knows (or should know) that his audience is much younger and much more tech-literate.

: Seriously though, ‘computer competition’? Where the fuck did he come up with that? What would that even be?

: “G-Guys!”

: “Well, now that we know he has one, this should be the easiest way to get it!”

: If you’re wondering why Haru has 1 HP, it’s because the Oberon managed to hit her with Hama.

: “Making that fake Medjed wasn’t the only bad thing you did, right? I want to hear your biggest secret.”

: “Shido… what the hell was he researching?”

: “No matter what it was, we won’t let him abuse it!”

: “We’ve only made it this far thanks to you.”

: “I’m honored to hear that.”

: “Now then… I have a favor to ask of you.”

: “What might that be?”

: “It’s about the loyal customers of our mental shutdown business. How about you dispose of all the ones you think suspicious?”

: “Right at this moment? But the election is coming up soon.”

: “Correct. The earlier the better.”

: “Why so suddenly? Did something happen?”

: “Nothing in particular. But if something were to happen, it would already be too late.”

: “I can understand why you might be nervous, but why not stay calm and hold off until after the election?”

: “I’d like to take out all of the trash before my inauguration as prime minister of this nation. For the sake of absolute victory, I need all roots of anxiety to be pulled as soon as possible.”

: I’d like to talk about this conversation as well. This is fucking nothing dialog. Let’s just look at what they’re actually saying. You have Shido telling Akechi to kill all the people in his shadowy cabal, and then an exchange of “Why?” “Because.” that repeats three times in slightly different language.

: “Anxiety? You’ve never mentioned such things before now. Um… Shido-san?”

: “Just do as I ask. I’ll be counting on you.”

: “…This is all too sudden. Could it be…?”

: Yes, we’re going to fight Akechi again. I’m going to save that for the next update because I have a lot to say about it and it’s very long.

: “Just that cleaner dude left then. Wanna go cause a scene somewhere and lure him out?”

: “As I’ve already said, we should avoid doing that if we can.”

: “But we’ve gone everywhere on the map. Is there any place we haven’t checked yet?”

: “Hm? I don’t recall passing by such a place.”

: “Wait, I found something… the engine room. Remember how you were wondering about that smoke earlier, Skull?”

: “Oh yeah… where was that?”

: It’s right by where we jumped up to go to the IT guy’s room.

: “I’m getting a reading from inside, but I can’t tell if it’s him.”

: “Huh? We ain’t gonna be able to get in like this. You wanna try forcin’ it open, Joker?”

: “But his men are with him too. Exiting here will land us directly in front of them. There will be no chance of escape at that point. What should we do, Joker?”

: “Very well. We shall jump in!”

: “Crap, this guy might be just a cognition, but he’s damn scary!”

: “Again? This better be the last time!”

: Oh no, four Baphomets. Whatever will we do? I also find it weird that they do the miniboss thing of not identifying the demon even if you have them in the compendium.

: “Dammit, we’re not lettin’ him escape! Let’s take that letter by force if we gotta!”

: Naturally, they have to throw one more vent at you. You know, for old times sake.

: Joker throws his coat to the ground and tears his vest off, revealing a tattoo of a fox on his back. “The Boyfriend Clan.”

: “…Clan? Does he mean like, yakuza clan?”

: “Wait, does he ‘clean up’ problems by making people disappear?”

: “Crap… is he really yakuza?”

: How did it take you all this long to figure that out!?

: “It seems that bastard Shido has close ties to the underground…”

: “How are we supposed to get the letter of introduction from him? Do we have to prove our worth?”

: “As I expected…”

: “Umm… actually, we’re here to suggest a tattoo design for you.”

: “Th-This guy is great at drawing… h-he’s an artist!”

: Yusuke’s ink can only truly shine when on the skin of a boyfriend. This guy is probably single.

: “I thought you’d be able to do it, Yusuke…”

: “Yusuke, draw something! Art’s art, ain’t it!?”

: Codenames?

: “…Very well. May I at least decide what I draw?”

: “A phoenix… I’d rather something else…”

: Yusuke’s secret boyfriend yakuza tattoo is a phoenix, that’s why.

: “I am not all talk. I can draw anything you want. Bring me a brush and a piece of paper.”

: “Is it a monster? It has some kinda crazy aura…”

: “A truly… explosive piece…”

: “This is my perception of a phoenix.”

: “There’s no way this is gonna work…”

: “Thank you.”

: “It seems like… it went well?”

: “Well then, I request a letter of introduction.”

: “He wants to recruit you!?”

: Yusuke could, you know, just say yes because this is a construct and doesn’t exist outside of Shido’s brain.

: “I decline.”

: “I must decide my own path as an artist. I will not receive aid from others any longer. Now if you understand, hand over the letter. Otherwise we’ll have to take it by force. By the way, you’re more feral pigeon than phoenix.”

: Yeah I mean, who could possibly think that a lengthy cutscene could be enough to resolve this dumb shit?

: We start this fight in the normal way - charge/concentrate and then thermopylae.

: You saw that correctly. He hit Yusuke for a whopping 9 damage.

: “You’re letting us go?”

: “That was an unexpected response for a cognitive creation…”

: So wait, was the yakuza guy not a super-shadow? What about the IT guy? Make up your fucking mind, Hashino!

: “Politicians never get too close to their shady connections. They must have only been linked monetarily.”

: “That must be it.”

: “Well, we finally have all five. We need to use these to get into the main assembly hall, right?”

: “Yes, and I believe that will be where we find the Treasure. We’ve been to most other places to gather the letters - there’s almost no doubt about it.”

: “We’re gonna take his Treasure, no matter what!”

: “As I’m sure you all know, the importance of this particular card is unlike any that’s come before. Once we send it, our opponents will know that Joker, who they presumed dead, is in fact alive. We will be putting our backs to the wall.”

: SMART GIRL.

: “If we lose, our lives will truly be over.”

: “We can’t let that happen, can we!?”

: “Hell yeah!”

: “Then it’s decided.”

: “The real question is, how and where do we send the calling card?”

: “How about we make it super flashy? Our whole big plan was all for this moment, you know!”

: “Actually, it must be theatrically done. A minor leak will only be crushed by Shido’s influence.”

: “Maybe it doesn’t have to be in letter form this time.”

: “Hehe… it’s finally my turn to steal the spotlight.”

: “…What’s the matter?”

: “Heeheehee… it’s nothing.”

: Next time, we fight Akechi. We’ll also fuse Metatron and Lucifer, then fight Shido. We’ll also get to one of the best songs in the game.

[drcakey]

Some housekeeping I caught. During Haru’s conversation with the Shadow TV President, there’s a double of him saying “Hm? That’s just business.” There’s another double the second time the cleaner appears, right after Ryuji “Wait, you’re the one who attacked us, remember!?” (that’s text, so you can Ctrl+F it)

And last, this…

@Timrod

: “This is my perception of a phoenix.”

I assume is supposed to be Yusuke.

@Timrod

Me (whenever someone asks me a question): None of these people know that I read screenshot LPs of SMT games.

[Timrod]

@drcakey

Some housekeeping I caught. During Haru’s conversation with the Shadow TV President, there’s a double of him saying “Hm? That’s just business.” There’s another double the second time the cleaner appears, right after Ryuji “Wait, you’re the one who attacked us, remember!?” (that’s text, so you can Ctrl+F it)

And last, this…

Thanks. That was one of those updates I struggled to get through because of how awful that entire dungeon is. I just want to get to the part where Shido attacks Joker with Diamond Dust and does 16 damage.

[SpammyV]

@Timrod

: “Hm… my ad-mice would be to pro-squeak cautiously.”

: “…”

: “Navi, my ad-mice would be-”

: “I believe she heard you the first time. Anyway, can we focus on the task at hand?”

I feel like we just glimpsed the Berenstein Bears universe in which the party members have much better banter with one another.

I’d ask Haru why she doesn’t just offer to join Shido as the real Medjed (What’s the shadow going to do? Tell people in the real world she lied?) but she’s probably the one with the best excuse for not being able to come up with something good.

Also it’s a good thing for Akechi this is an RPG and jumping six people with guns, a cat, and someone in a UFO won’t have any consequences.

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 96

: It’s time. Immediately after this fight, we will finally have Lucifer. Shido is going to be a joke even without him, but with him…

: “You!?”

: “Why’s he here!?”

: “Hmph… I’m impressed that you managed to deceive me. It seems I underestimated your abilities. You truly are interesting… quiet, yet possessing the courage and determination to take action.”

: “Under different circumstances, we could have been great rivals… or perhaps even friends.”

: This scene was mostly unchanged from the base game, but the writers for Royal misunderstood the relationship between Joker and Akechi - I’m guessing this was on purpose due to Akechi consistently winning popularity polls in Japan, particularly among shippers.

: We’ll talk about that a little later.

: “You don’t allow yourself to be enslaved by such things as human relations or past selves… and so, your heart is always free. The exact opposite of mine. To be honest, I’m envious… I wonder why we couldn’t have met a few years earlier, Akira…”

: “Akechi…”

: “But… it’s no use talking in hypotheticals. That didn’t happen in reality…”

: “Don’t you see what this Palace looks like!? His true nature is-”

: By the way, almost all of the shots in this scene either pan in one direction or zoom in, and I actually sat here for a few minutes just to see if it would eventually do something stupid. It doesn’t. This is about as far as it goes.

: “Cooperating…? What are you talking about? I don’t care for Shido, or this country.”

: Remember when I said I hate Akechi because he’s a ripoff of Reiji from Persona 1? This is why. He’s got the exact same background, the exact same motive, the only difference is that he’s a friendless loser and Reiji isn’t. No really, that’s the entire reason we’re going to beat Akechi. I’m not joking.

: “Shido is your father!?”

: “Remember I said before, how my mother had been in a relationship with some good-for-nothing man? So I’m his bastard child. My very existence is nothing but a scandal…”

: “My mother’s life turned for the worst after she had me… and died. I was a cursed child for her too.”

: This shot zooms in, and I wanted to see how far it’d go. The answer is this far - it’ll zoom in just a bit more and then snap back out to here to keep the illusion that it’s still going.

: “I resented him, but he was already a high-ranking official by then. A kid like me could do nothing. But… that’s when it happened!”

: Akechi is fucking loving this shit. Also, I don’t think there’s ever been a time where the portrait reflects what the model is doing less than this particular shot.

: Man’s just having a time.

: “You son of a…”

: “Who cares? My targets were all doing the same damn thing in this eat or be eaten world. All I did was remove their evil from society. How is that any different than the Phantom Thieves?”

: “We’re not murderers!”

: “So what!? Masayoshi Shido is finally within my grasp! Once he reaches the apex of his power and acknowledges me, I’m going to whisper in his ear… I will tell him the truth of who I really am!”

: “And that’s when I - an utter disgrace to the world - will rule over him. I will prevail!”

: “What a warped thought… it’s almost pitiable.”

: “In just a few weeks, my plan would have come to fruition… but no, you just had to interfere! I can still take it back though. I’ll just need to kill you all.”

: I don’t even get what his plan was. He was going to tell Shido that he’s his illegitimate son… and then what? Why would he not just do what he did to Okumura and sneak in to kill Shido’s shadow after the party takes him down?

: “Hmph, we won’t get killed for something like that. You talk big, but you’re really nothing more than a little kid throwing a temper tantrum!”

: “Don’t lecture me, you piece of shit… I am going to personally thrust Masayoshi Shido into a living hell. So, Joker… rest easy and die.”

: “…Yes. I’ll do it better than you could ever imagine. That is, once I get rid of you.”

: If Akechi had been like this for the entire game, I’d have liked him a lot more.

: “You sure sound confident, but don’t go pressin’ your luck. We already know all your tricks from back when you were workin’ with us.”

: “Joker… how could you be so successful while having such an idiot as your partner?”

: “Huh!? Quit bluffin’!”

: "It’s no bluff. If he truly is behind the mental shutdowns, he’s likely only shown us a fraction of his strength.

: chuckle “I’ll tell you all about my true power… while you die. You can take that knowledge with you to the grave.”

: “The mental shutdowns aren’t the only incidents people are talking about.”

: “Those cannot be explained unless the true culprit has the power to make people’s hearts psychotic… snicker That’s right! It’s my power - one that you don’t have!”

: I think this is something that mattered more in an earlier draft of the script, where there was an actual difference between the ‘mental shutdowns’ and ‘psychotic breakdowns’. In the final script for the base game they’re essentially the same thing.

: “He’s gonna try something…!”

: “Allow me to show you!”

: This doesn’t do anything, it just makes the Cu Chulainn and Cerberus black and red.

: This fight was also unchanged from the base game, and I feel like they could’ve done something really interesting with it. Maybe you’d have two separate fights - one with the party against the super-shadows while Joker has a duel with Akechi and kicks his ass again. But they didn’t.

: Annoyingly, both of these enemies have the same weaknesses as their regular variety, but the game won’t show you the information for them.

: Oh. Turns out there’s a reason for that… kind of. In the base game, the Cerberus has no weaknesses. They nerfed that in Royal and gave him back his weakness to ice. There’s a bug in the launch version of Royal where if you take down Cu Chulainn first and then knock down Cerberus and finish him off with an All-Out, it skips the next phase of the boss.

: Ann nearly takes out the Cu Chulainn in a single hit.

: The Cerberus gets a single attack in, and it hurts - this is with Haru having the best physical protection she can have.

: “That power to make others turn psychotic… he used it on actual people…? This guy’s out of his mind!”

: “Of course I didn’t expect you to be defeated by them. You have deceived me and escaped death, after all. I wouldn’t give up my chance to massacre you with my own two hands…!”

: We’re already Concentrated for the most part, so I rush a Thermopylae and it’s go time.

: Akechi has the same moves he did when we had him - Kougaon and Eigaon. Joker has Big Mike, who repels Bless and nulls Curse. Speaking of which…

: Two hits and Akechi’s dead. We’ve done more than just break the game - we’ve shattered it. I could go up to Hard or Merciless, but… why?

: “So he’s able to turn people psychotic… I thought it was some special thing like the Nav, but it seems to be his own Persona’s power.”

: I think what I hate about this is that it’s too Shonen Jump battle manga. None of the other Persona games ever really got to that level.

: “I can’t believe that the ability to control and drive others mad was born from within his heart…”

: “Will you please stop!? You’re fighting the wrong people! We both hate the same guy! Why do we have to go against each other!?”

: “Killing us won’t make you happy.”

: “But… I…!”

: “This ain’t about what Shido says! You’re your own person! You gotta know that!”

: “Damn it…!”

: “You know… sometimes I think about that fake Medjed that you guys made up… that was the worst trap… but if not for that, I don’t think I’d be here right now. Uhhh, basically… it doesn’t matter where you start over!”

: This? This is bad writing. Futaba should be fucking furious. This is the guy who killed her mother. Nobody made him do it, either - it’s clear he did it because he wanted to.

: This should have been like the moment with Namatame in Persona 4 where the party is urging you to fucking kill him. Futaba should be asking Joker to hand her his pistol so she can kill him.

: That’s one of the things I don’t get about this game. They’re trying their hardest to make it be a shonen battle manga while forgetting that people die violently in shonen battle manga all the fucking time. Hell, Tatsuya Sudou fucking incinerated a kid in Innocent Sin.

: “And… you don’t really hate Joker, do you? That smile before we fought… isn’t that how you really feel?”

: “…!?”

: “Follow your true feelings! Even if you think people hate you or don’t want you around, that’s-”

: “Teammates!? Friends!? To hell with that! Why am I inferior to you!? I was extremely particular about my life, my grades, my public image, so someone would want me around! I am an ace detective… a celebrity!”

: It’s because Joker has THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP and a giant anime nakama that is completely and utterly unrealistic. I went to high school. No one had shit like that.

: “Akechi-kun…”

: “But you… you’re just some criminal trash living in an attic! So, how… how does someone like you have things I don’t!? How can such a worthless piece of trash be more special than me!?”

: “This argument is meaningless!”

: “What was that!?”

: “A black mask!”

: There’s around ten shots of flashback, I’m going to cut it down to three.

: “Then, what Kaneshiro said before…”

: The thing is, I don’t get why any of this is surprising. It’s not like Akechi couldn’t bring a second outfit with a black mask that he puts on when he’s going on murder runs.

“So… you were behind the mental shutdowns after all…”

: NO FUCKING SHIT! HE JUST FUCKING SAID HE WAS!

: “Oh, this is great… I’m surprised… this is actually a first for me. I might even have to try my hardest against you. You know… I just came up with a fun little idea… I wonder how far I can go with this…”

: “Fun?”

: “You’re not satisfied with where we left it either, are you? Isn’t this what you really wanted? You and I are going to strike and strike again until one of us is dead! To hell with holding back!”

: “Ah… just picturing it sends chills down my spine. What Shido thinks of me? Haha! I don’t give a shit… all I care about now is killing you… to prove I’m better than you!”

: Akechi’s in the wrong anime. No, really, we’ll see in a second.

: If I wanted to re-caption this, it would read “I just shit my pants, Joker! And now I’m gonna shit yours!”

: Loki? Really. Loki’s the best you can do? He’s a fucking third-stringer in Persona 1 and never really gets better. Seriously, I don’t think there’s a single game Loki has been in where he’s not a jobber.

: Whoever did the animation for this was probably drunk. That’s about the only reason I can think of as to why Akechi’s such a fucking dumbass.

: Remember when I said Akechi’s weakness is that he’s a friendless loser? Akechi is canonically a wild card - it’s just that he only has two Personas because he has no friends.

: Uh, he’s a hitman and a serial killer. I think he’s already psychotic.

: If you’ve read Berserk, Akechi’s new outfit is going to look remarkably familiar. That’s because he’s wearing Guts’s berserker armor.

: I agree with that statement because I have played team-based multiplayer games before.

: While we charge up, Akechi uses Tetrakarn on himself. This renders Yusuke useless for the rest of the fight, as he can’t physically attack without killing himself.

: This version of Akechi has a lot more HP, and if we weren’t as bullshit overpowered as we are I’d probably have dropped a Soma to get everyone back up.

: If you think this is no damage, just wait until you see Shido. I’m not kidding when I say that at one point he uses Diamond Dust on Joker and does exactly 16 damage.

: At this point, we’ve skipped a phase. What’s supposed to happen is that Akechi goes into a phase where he uses Makarakarn on himself and starts unleashing Eigaon… and Maragion. He’s still using second-tier spells and this is one of the final bosses in the base game.

: If you have Yusuke, you want to get rid of him at that point because if Maragion hits, Akechi responds by using Desperation on himself and at that point things can get kinda iffy.

: However, we’ve nuked him down so much in one turn that he’s moved right into his third and final phase. In this phase, he’ll waste a turn staring at Joker and then use Laevateinn, a single-target Almighty skill that can hit really hard if he’s got Desperation.

: And he’s fucked. RIP Akechi, never got past his first phase. Oh right - he also has Megidolaon, which he’ll use if anyone has a reflect up. The thing is, Akechi’s magic stat is kind of a joke. He has 80 strength, higher than any of Joker’s broken Personas, but only 30 magic.

: “…You’re so lucky. Lucky to be surrounded… by teammates who acknowledge you… and once Shido confesses his crimes, you’ll all be heroes.”

: “As for me, people will find out my past deductions were just charade. My fame and trust will vanish.”

: “…I see. So you were turning people psychotic, then solving the cases yourself. And you did that by joining forces with Shido.”

: God fucking dammit! Fuck! Fucking fuck! WE ALREADY FUCKING KNOW THIS! IT’S BEEN STATED AND RESTATED A THOUSAND GODDAMN TIMES! SHUT THE FUCK UP!

: “In the end… I couldn’t be special…”

: “Dude, you’re more than special…”

: “It pains me to admit… but your wit and strength far exceeds ours. We only defeated you by teaming up… I was honestly… envious of your natural ability. It was frustrating to see how much my sister trusted you…”

: I’d do a second take of this where I kill Akechi solo as Joker, but it would consist entirely of fusing something that can abuse reflects and abusing them.

: “I have no intention of forgiving you for what you did to my father, but… I sympathize with you. I wholeheartedly understand wanting to get back at the adults who took from you…”

: “But when you gained the power to fulfill that desire, you only used it for your own self-benefit.”

: “If you’ve got more than one Persona, maybe you actually have the same kinda power as Joker’s. But you trusted no one, so you only got two Personas: one for your lies, and one for your hate.”

: “Still, you thought that was enough, right? That part I totally get.”

: “You excelled at everything over us… yet that was the one thing you lacked.”

: “…”

: “All right, let’s go back and get that callin’ card ready! We’re gonna take Shido down. What’re you gonna do?”

: Why is it that everyone immediately wants to give Akechi a redemption arc when he has zero redeeming qualities?

: “It’d be a problem if you kept getting in our way. Wanna come along and help us settle things?”

: “… Are you all idiots? You should get rid of me… if you don’t want me getting in your way. …You are all truly beyond my comprehension.”

: I mean, it’d be one thing if Akechi had some redeeming quality. Something like, say, “I had to kill those people because Shido had a gun to my head, literally and figuratively” or “I had to do it because otherwise, Shido would find (or make) another person with the same power and send them after me, and who knows what that person might do?”

: Remember how I said the cognitive Akechi doesn’t exist? I was lying a little. He does, but only in this dungeon. There’s zero foreshadowing that he exists - at least that I know of.

: “That’s… Shido’s cognitive version of Akechi!”

: How would that even be dangerous? He’s a shadow. There’s no way he can have a Persona, so why wouldn’t Akechi just light him on fire and be done with it?

: "…!’

: “Captain Shido’s orders. He has no need for losers. Well… this just moves the plan up a little. He was going to get rid of you after the election anyway.”

: “What!?”

: “Did you truly believe you’d be spared after all the murders you undertook? Don’t tell me… were you actually feeling good about having someone rely on you for once? Oh by the way, the captain says it’s time you receive retribution for causing the mental shutdowns.”

: You uh, just said that.

: “What the hell, man!? That bastard’s the one who put him up to it!”

: “I see… I was wondering how he’d protect himself if I used my power to tear through his Palace. Turns out you’re how. So he’s making a puppet kill me… sounds like something he’d do.”

: Yep, that’s typical Shido for you, has a bunch of hitmen ready to kill each other just in case one turns on him.

: “That’s right. I’ll do anything. But look at yourself… you’re the true puppet.”

: “…!”

: I feel like the direction given to the artist here was “Just draw Light Yagami having an orgasm”.

: “You’ve been nothing but a puppet from the very beginning!”

: “You little…”

: “So this… is how Shido thinks of Goro Akechi? It’s… it’s too horrible!”

: “It’s still not too late! We can change his heart together! Even if he’s your father… no, BECAUSE he’s your father!”

: I don’t know what this even is. What the fuck is that facial expression?

: “You know what? I’ll let someone volunteer to take his place. Who knows, you might delay his death.”

: “Damn you…”

: “You guys are all about doing things for others, aren’t you? Oh, that’s just the same as me. I’m going to take all the blame for our captain. I’ll die for him too.”

: “This is what Shido thinks of Akechi-kun, even after making him help with the murders!?”

: “Here, I’ll give you one last chance. Shoot them.”

: “…Don’t misunderstand. You’re the one who’s going to disappear!”

: Akechi quickly turns and shoots the fake Akechi.

: You know what would have been a super shonen thing to do? Have the party jump into save Akechi, and then immediately after the fight Joker kills him.

: It’s a watertight bulkhead door. Didn’t you hear the announcement?

: “Akechi!”

: “Hurry up and go.”

: “You fool! Are you trying to get yourself killed!?”

: “The real fools… are you guys. You should have just abandoned me here a long time ago. You would have all perished… if you had tried to face these with me weighing you down…”

: “Akechi-kun!”

: “Let’s make a deal, okay? You won’t say no, will you?”

: “Why at a time like this!?”

: “Change Shido’s heart… in my stead. End his crimes… please!”

: This choice was changed for Royal. My guess is it only changes if you maxed Akechi’s confidant and picked the right options.

: Akechi does not get The Path Is Open because he sucks.

: We now have the final component for Lucifer. We will be fusing him as soon as this cutscene is over, so I’ll save Metatron for then too. I wound up making two Metatrons: one for fusion into Lucifer and a second to be the best Bless Persona with the highest magic stat of any of the Personas we have.

: Why would he not have just immediately mag-dumped his gun into the shadow?

: Two gunshots ring out at nearly the same time.

: “No…”

: “Come on, you guys! We can’t let a rotten criminal like Shido do what he wants any longer! We can’t… no matter what!”

: “Akechi…”

: “…We should get going.”

: “He entrusted us with an important task, after all…”

: “Let’s go, Joker.”

: I wanted to leave right now to go fuse, but the game will not fucking let you.

: “It looks like we’ve come out on the side deck. We should be able to secure a route from here.”

: “Welp, let’s head over and get to usin’ those letters then.”

: “Open sesame!”

: “Yes.”

: “The hell is that!?”

: “It’s pretty rockin’!”

: “So this… is the main assembly hall?”

: “P-Probably. Daruma are often used as symbols of election luck, plus everything else in here seems real…”

: “Odd… there isn’t a single person in here. It sounded as though there was quite the crowd inside when we heard voices through the door.”

: “But given how it looks, this has to be the root of the distortion.”

: “Yes. I’m picking up on the Treasure’s presence as well. There’s no doubt this place is where it’ll appear.”

: It’s time to fuse. This will be our second to last time in the Velvet Room.

New Persona: Dominion

Origin: Judeo-Christianity

First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei II

Angels who watch over nations.

: Wait a second… isn’t that just Yusuke in a robe with some hair extensions? He must keep the scarf afloat with his boyfriend powers. Either that, or a shitload of hidden wire.

New Persona: Metatron

Origin: Abrahamic Mythology

First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei II

The voice of the Judeo-Christian God. Has a million eyes, a million mouths and 36 wings. Appears largely in ancient Jewish texts, in which he is an entity (not an angel) who has a higher status than that of Michael. Supposedly the twin brother of Sandalphon. Some branches of Gnosticism claim that Metatron is the same thing as the Holy Spirit. Does not appear in the Bible.

: This is the Metatron I made specifically to fuse into Lucifer. The one we wind up using as a Persona has Bless Boost and Bless Amp and replaces Arms Master with Spell Master.

: Metatron fuses into one of Joker’s two ultimate guns. This one does less damage than the one we’re actually going to use, but it’s better if you plan on fusing and using Yoshitsune later. And now, please welcome…

New Persona: Lucifer

Origin: Judeo-Christianity

First Appearance: Megami Tensei I

Former highest-ranked archangel who rebelled against the Judeo-Christian God. Not the same entity as Satan - Lucifer is likely based on a Babylonian myth involving a celestial being who tries to overthrow the Babylonian pantheon but is cast into the underworld.

: Lucifer is MASSIVELY improved over how he was in the base game. In fact, let me show you my base game Lucifer.

: In the base game, Lucifer had no resistances and a weakness to Bless. In Royal, he’s fucking invincible, especially with Firm Stance. His job isn’t to do damage - without Almighty Boost and Almighty Amp his damage will be middling at best - his job is to be a wall.

: Here’s his signature move, Morning Star. It doesn’t do much damage, but Joker can spam it all day.

: Lucifer itemizes into the Tyrant Pistol, which is Joker’s best gun provided he’s using magic-based Personas. 15 magic is a huge stat boost, bringing a couple of our Personas up to around 80.

: Off-screen, I also fused another Odin using Metatron and Gabriel. This Odin has Firm Stance and Spell Master, making him the best electric Persona in the game.

: “Akechi saved us all in the end. I think in his heart, he might not have been so bad… Hey, Akira. Let’s succeed on this mission, no matter what.”

: We get a massage from Kawakami… so we can do an optional event with her. Strangely, I didn’t get the optional event I thought I would - this may be because I skipped one early on.

: “I’ll let you decide where to go. I guess you can consider that our first assignment. If there’s anything I can help you with today, I’d be glad to come over. So, what do you think?”

: “The art museum in Ueno, huh? Sounds like it could be educational. I hope it’s not closed yet. Let’s go check it out.”

: Okay, so what I’d like you to keep in mind is that Akechi has died. Is Joker grieving? No. He cares so little that he’s going to an art museum with Kawakami. This is how it was in the base game.

: “I wanted to teach you things like that. This is an extracurricular lesson to enhance your education. Eheh… or something. It’s more like a thanks for helping me make up my mind.”

: “I’m going to start acting like an honest teacher again.”

: “Ooh, I feel like I never hear you talk like that. It would be really easy to teach you if you were always this compliant. giggle I realized that I love being a teacher.”

: When is Joker ever not compliant in class? I mean, I guess this could be one of those things like in Strikers when Morgana reveals that Joker hates crepes out of nowhere.

: “It’s really rewarding, you know? Especially the moments when you realize how a student’s grown… and also thinking about your future… okay, let’s resume our lesson! If there’s anything you don’t understand, please ask me!”

: “…Wait, no! I take that back! Just ask me simple questions, okay? Please?”

: What you are about to see is a scene that was added for Royal. This is where we’re going to find out about how the writers for Royal understand Joker and Akechi in a very different way than Hashino did.

: “I wonder what happened to Akechi… after we heard the gunshot on the other side of the shutters, Futaba said there were no readings left… does this mean we’ll never meet again…?”

: There are two distinct gunshots.

: Remember how I said there were those two options in Akechi’s Rank 7 and Rank 8 that were permafucks if you didn’t pick them? This is a third permafuck. You want to pick the bottom option.

: “I do still have that promise with Akechi to duel again someday… I know Akechi would especially hate having it end with his defeat… still, there’s nothing I can do now.”

: In the base game, Akech is confirmed dead. Joker never thinks about him again, and I don’t think he ever comes up in conversation outside of Shido’s boss fight. Joker could not give less of a shit about Akechi or his death.

: Now I need to talk about that OVA. Right before Royal released in Japan, the anime studio behind the Persona 5 anime put out a promotional OVA called Proof of Justice.

: Proof of Justice is a 17-minute OVA (with about 5 minutes of that runtime taken by the OP and ED) that is mostly an advertisement for Royal. Let’s take a brief look, shall we?

: The OVA opens with this shot. I showed this to Salty Vanilla, and their response was “What did they to do Yusuke!? What did they do to my boy!?”

: I told Salty Vanilla that they’re more qualified to be an anime director than whoever directed this, and I meant it.

: Anyway, this shot takes place roughly when they’re sending the calling card to Shido, which happens tomorrow in-game.

: Joker pours a coffee for Akechi, who is working on a crossword puzzle. Note that nothing is on model because the animators this SUCK. Even in the close-ups they can’t get shit right.

: I’m pretty sure this is the last night we meet Akechi in Leblanc, right before Sae’s palace.

: That night, Joker takes the crossword magazine into his room and starts looking at it because all he can think about is Akechi. This, despite the fact that in the actual game he does not give a single fuck.

: Crosswords in Japanese must be a nightmare to do. Do you count the “extended sound” character after the “bi” as a second “bi”, or is it that the one going down would have to have an “extended sound” in it even if it’s not a “bi”?

: Oh, but what’s this? Akechi wrote “Proof of Justice” for no fucking reason! Clearly, this is a mystery that only a 13-minute OVA could solve.

: This disturbs Joker so much that he cannot sleep. It’s pretty clear that whoever authorized this did so knowing the massive Joker/Akechi shipping fanbase that continually bumps Akechi to first place in popularity polls (even over the playable characters) is very much a thing.

: Joker spends the night going around Tokyo (making sure to stop at Kichijoji, the darts place, and the jazz club where he has flashbacks to Akechi’s confidant) before he finds his answer.

: The answer is that “Proof of Justice” is written on the box that had Akechi’s toy laser pistol in it. I am not fucking kidding when I say that in the OVA, Joker fucking breaks down and starts crying.

: Then he has a flashback to Akechi’s death, which… I suppose if you hadn’t played the base game and were watching this it spoiled Akechi being the killer and his death.

: Then he sees a poorly-drawn anime kid whose dad bought him one of the laser pistols, and for some reason has a flashback to Akechi as a kid even though he never knew Akechi that young.

: It’s like the writers forgot that Akechi is a serial killer and were like “It’s okay because he’s pretty!”

: Oh, and then it ends with Joker going back to bed and being an insomniac because of Akechi. The final shot…

: Is Joker trying to finish an unfinished game of chess that Akechi left behind. Fuck this shit.

: So why am I showing you this? Because it’s canon. This is how Royal’s writers re-interpreted Akechi. This is what they’re going to use to justify a plot point in the expansion content… and that plot point is why I hate Akechi. We’ll talk about that more when we get there. It’s not far away.

: “Having Shido as your dad? The thought makes me sick… could you really stand having a dad that has destroyed people’s lives for his own benefit? What would happen to this country if someone like that became the prime minister?”

: “…We can’t let him win, no matter what. There is no way we’re going to let you have your way, Shido!”

: “It would be pointless to send it to the Diet Building.”

: “And even if we handed it over to different media sources, who knows how it would be treated… the worst case scenario would be giving it to the police under the table.”

: “What shall we do then?”

: “We just said that’s not gonna work.”

: “Um, Futaba-chan?”

: This name is based on an actual tool used by Anonymous called Low Orbit Ion Cannon, which was used to crowdsource DDoS attacks.

: “Huh?”

: “It’s good to go. Look. Now, if I do this…”

: Oh no, a command prompt! Hide the Linux, the cops are gonna be here any second!

: “You shoulda told us you were plannin’ something!”

: “To trick your enemies, you first gotta trick your allies.”

: Futaba is then isekai’d on the spot into Ni no Kuni 2.

: “How stylish.”

: “It’s kickass!”

: “This should work nicely…”

: “All right! It’s time for people to start comin’ to their senses!”

: If I remember right, the TV lines weren’t subtitled in the base game in this scene either.

: I thought the thing on the TV in the back was Eikichi. It’s not, but it’s definitely got that same aesthetic as Innocent Sin.

: I feel like they got a completely separate animation studio for this one shot, because it looks nothing like the usual P5 anime. It’s surprisingly on-model.

: I think the anime studio forgot the whole “cameras don’t work in the metaverse” bit. Actually, this shot being there doesn’t make a whole lot of sense if you think about it.

: The only person who knew what the party looked like in their thief outfits was Akechi, and he’s dead. Shido doesn’t know what they look like because he’s never been to the metaverse.

: This part is narrated by Joker’s VA.

: It’s almost like John Persona… is some kind of stand-alone complex! Actually, nah. Stand Alone Complex had better writing.

: “And what about Akechi!? Where did that useless brat go!? He must have run away knowing he failed! Bring him here when you find him! Got that!?”

: “Phantom thief? Body?”

: “Um, I really don’t know what you’re speaking of… oh, but that reminds me… I received a calling card from the Phantom Thieves… but everything from then on is a blur…”

: “No… could I have done something wrong!? Then, I… I…”

: I like to think that Sae isn’t doing this out of some dumbass shounen anime ‘sense of justice’ but instead because the tramp stamp is real and this is how she’s going to explain it away.

: “What have I done?”

: “Why me?”

: “I’m sorry, I honestly don’t know what’s going on here…”

: You know what I don’t get? Why they needed that scene right before this one. They’re both repeating the same information that we already know.

: “Is illness really what killed him? Do you think his death was truly due to illness!?”

: “…Very well. It’s all up to you now, everyone.”

: I think of all of these scenes, this one is the only one that really works.

: “Who the hell’re you?”

: “Oh, you mean those guys they’ve been talking about on TV?”

: How would they know that Sojiro knows that Joker is a phantom thief?

: “This is obstruction of business, you know.”

: “Is this the only way you do things?”

: “If you’re not a customer, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.”

: “Justice isn’t on your side.”

: Was there some kind of betting pool in the writer’s room as to how many cutscenes they could cram into the game?

: “It is nothing more than a wicked terrorist act, aimed at obstructing the elections. What we need now is a powerful, unyielding leader. I am willing to risk my life to fight them.”

: “I speak now to those who call themselves the Phantom Thieves. Your actions are gravely serious crimes. You are rebelling against the laws of this country and unnecessarily causing alarm among its citizens.”

: “I call on you to surrender yourselves at once and apologize to the people of this proud nation.”

: I like to think that last line is actually directed at Hashino.

: “That bastard Shido’s tryin’ to act all calm, but he’s prolly freakin’ out on the inside.”

: " ‘Apologize’? Quite the funny joke."

: “Who is the real criminal here?”

: The real criminal is Sega for allowing Atlus to do a full-price re-release without fixing the script.

: “Our calling card has had a tremendous effect.”

: “I’m real proud of that one!”

: “All they’re doin’ is makin’ noise though…”

: The people in the back are chanting “Shi-do! Shi-do!”

: “Seriously. They should just go home and get some sleep…”

: I stopped playing SMT Imagine because it sucks, but one of the lines you can get if you fail to negotiate with a beast-type demon (which happens all the time because the default negotiation success rate is 1% please buy our microtransaction master balls that auto-capture demons) is “GO HOME AND SLEEP”.

: “Even after what happened, not many people want to see Shido have a change of heart. What we’re about to do is just… right?”

: “That’s right. Have we ever acted outside of the scope of justice?”

: I mean, if you believe the part about the party going after Okumura to get famous, then technically yes.

: “You have a point.”

: “Hey, look over there.”

: “This has me excited as well. snicker That boy really keeps the news rolling in.”

: “She doesn’t notice we’re here… right? That keen journalist nose is a force to be reckoned with. Whoa! Why’s Mishima here!? Man, that kid’s impressive…”

: I have no idea if there’s a rank requirement to get these little scenes with the confidants, but it doesn’t matter because we’re maxed anyway.

: “The Phantom Thieves are just. I guarantee it.”

: “Heh… now that’s what I like to hear.”

: “There may not be many of them, but we have to cherish our fans. Let’s go change Shido’s heart!”

: It might seem weird that Iwai, Yoshida and Hifumi are all so close. They were actually going to put a scene in Royal to explain that. It was (mercifully) cut before release.

: I wish we could bring Shinya with us, but when you see how hard we break Shido you’ll understand why he couldn’t come.

: “What did you do to Akechi!? He… he was your own son!”

: “Hmph, I had a feeling it was something like that. He reminded me too much of that woman. I also have an idea as to why he approached me. He was hoping to trap me, was he not?”"

: “He was sharp, but in the end he was just a kid. I controlled him merely by offering praise. I intended to dispose of him as soon as I became prime minister.”

: “What!?”

: “I could never keep someone with such intimate knowledge of my past alive. What an ‘ace’ detective. He was standing beside me all this time, yet couldn’t see through my plans. His destroying himself saved me quite a bit of effort though.”

: “How could you…!?”

: “You stole my mom’s research… and took her life!”

: “Everything you’ve done has been for your own selfish gains! You even killed my father! I will never forgive you!”

: I would do the Princess Bride thing here but that movie is super overrated.

: “Sacrifices are inevitable in the path of reform. I only require that the foolish entrust themselves to their superiors. I shall guide them.”

: “The hell makes you think you’re so much better than everyone else!?”

: “You never would have been able to make it this far without Akechi’s help!”

: I mean, he apparently had connections to a yakuza hit squad. It’s not like he couldn’t have just used them instead.

: “He only appeared because of the expectations God held for me. Moreover, it was thanks to me that Akechi was able to properly use his power to begin with. The ‘changing of hearts’ that you’ve been doing… was nothing more than provoking the public.”

: “How selfish! You were unable to win by honest means, so you used foul tricks to ascend the political ladder!”

: Yusuke, we already know that.

: “A cruel person like you has no right to stand leading the citizens of this country. You’re nothing but a criminal who rose above others by climbing a staircase of sin.”

: “The life of the nation as opposed to those of a few sacrifices… there can be no comparison. The ignorant masses only care about their own personal happiness. I am merely granting that for them. That is the social reform that only I, as the one chosen by God, can enact!”

: This whole speech feels like a budget version of the Messians in SMT 1.

: “I can’t believe you look down on everyone else so harshly…”

: “I’d never accept a leader who makes a teenager murder people! You say it’s for the country, but I bet it’s all for yourself. Nobody would wish for something like that!”

: Ann, you can’t even vote.

: “Nobody?”

: There’s an animation of him walking from the second tier of the podium to the third tier, followed by an elevator noise. I’m not really sure what that’s supposed to add to this cutscene.

: “Everyone denies the value of hard work these days. Instead, they seek to effortlessly gain wealth. That is why I must reestablish this mighty country. One that does not waver… one that others bow to.”

: “Mighty, my ass! That’s just a crooked country made by a crook!”

: “We cannot let you do this. You are a disgrace to Japan. Hence, we will take your deranged heart.”

: “Hmph. Those who disobey me must be eliminated. However… considering the loss of Akechi, it would be a waste to kill those who are actually capable. I will allow you to choose between life or death one last time.”

: “Devote your power to my social reform. I will give you anything you want, be it wealth or status.”

: I get that he’s not being serious because he’s already revealed that he was going to kill Akechi himself and would do the same to the party, but still this is kinda dumb.

: “There’s no way we’d follow you!”

: “No matter how many times you ask, our answer’s not gonna change!”

: Couldn’t we have, I dunno, skipped right past the whole monologue and gone right to this?

: I’m not sure what the kanji say.

: Shido’s first form is a blatant ripoff of Char Aznable.

: If I had come into this fight with an ideal party setup, I probably could’ve wiped Shido before he could enter any of his other phases.

: You see, what Shido doesn’t realize is that he’s just undammed a river that he is about to drown in.

: The wiki tells me that this first phase is mostly about stealing Girimehkala’s gimmick: the “Beast of Human Sacrifice” repels Physical and Gun, and has Wage War to attempt to enrage the entire party. We will not be seeing that.

: It also has a thing where it’ll cast Makarakarn on itself to force you to eat a magic attack (not that it would do shit) and can charge up an attack that’s basically Megidolaon but with a chance of inflicting rage.

: So yeah, don’t bring Yusuke. This was an instant death.

: You also don’t want to bother trying to buff, debuff, or cast reflects as he will simply remove them. But fuck that. We’re not constrained by game mechanics anymore.

: That is over 1800 damage with Metatron using Kougaon on an enemy that is not weak to Bless. By lowering his HP under 50%, we’re going to skip his entire second phase.

: The second phase is the “Wings of Human Sacrifice”. It resists magic across the board, but loses its physical and gun repels. This doesn’t matter, because we’ve already killed it. Before we can even act…

: Meet the third form, the Tomb of Human Sacrifice. The wiki tells me it has two attacks: a single-target almighty attack…

: And a charged Almighty spell that takes two turns to charge. We will not be seeing that.

: We go through nearly 10,000 HP in six turns, three of which were spent charging and buffing. I also switched Yusuke out for Makoto.

: This could’ve been done faster if I had switched Haru for Makoto and revived Yusuke so we had more sources of charged damage, but this is good enough.

: “Once you’re losin’, you’re puttin’ all the blame on the masses, huh!?”

: “A touching reunion, isn’t it?”

: “The next time you crush a foe, I suggest you do it in a more certain manner.”

: “Not that there’ll be a next time for you!”

: “You took him to court and yet you don’t remember? You truly don’t care about the fate of others.”

: There’s a flashback here to the scene at the beginning of the game with Joker pushing Shido Shido falling completely on his own because we can’t have Joker being a bad boy that I’ll skip.

: “What!?”

: “Are you saying that the people you killed deserved to die!?”

: “He’s totally insane…”

: Oh look, it’s US Senator Stephen Armstrong. What’s he doing in Japan?

: Actually, he looks more like a ripoff of Allen O’Neill from Metal Slug.

: As soon as Shido reveals his true form, the battle music changes to one of the most memorable vocal themes in the game.

: I have Haru blow a Bead Chain. We have several of them, and switching to Morgana is slow.

: In this form, Shido has one major difference - he won’t remove buffs and debuffs. I have everyone start nuking while Joker gets ready to buff.

: Shido uses Tyrant’s Purge, a new move for the Royal version of this fight. It’s a physical attack with a high chance of instant kill - but he CANNOT use this on Joker.

: This change was made because in the base game, he had both Mudoon and Hamaon and could target Joker with both. I remember this hitting me in the base game and me being really pissed about it.

: At 50% HP, Shido takes an extra turn to buff himself.

: We respond by nuking him to death before he can do anything with it.

: His head looks way too small for his body now.

: We only took two turns to kill Shido’s first form, because we’re able to extend Thermopylae.

: Shido’s final form has 5,800 HP and has access to all of the Ma-Dyne spells as well as a couple of strong physical attacks. He also has the ability to grant himself extra press turns - but he has to use these to do one specific attack.

: Joker simply dodges with Ali Dance.

: Shido can barely hurt Joker even without Lucifer active.

: He uses Maragidyne again, but Futaba blocks it.

: It’s not obvious, but we’ve actually broken the game so hard the seams are showing. In the base game, this hit would’ve killed him - except now we enter the new part of the fight added for Royal.

: Shido has turned this fight into a duel, and in doing so has fucked up.

: “I never would’ve imagined… that impertinent brat from so long ago, managing to get in my way this much! Honestly unbelievable… I should’ve finished you off before this could’ve happened… hahaha, it seems I was too naive.”

: Shido looks like he’s either having an orgasm or shitting his pants, and I’m not sure which.

: “My desire to steer this country has finally come to fruition! But, my ambition has only yet begun! I WILL NOT stumble over mere minutia like yourself!”

: Our party is gone. It’s time to bring out Lucifer.

: We’re going to keep spamming Morning Star until Shido dies. In the meantime…

: He switches to fourth-tier spells. I’m pretty sure Shido’s stats get lowered for this part to account for the fact that you only have Joker, but that’s a grand total of 16 damage.

: Tyrant’s Judgement bounces right back into Shido’s face for free damage. In hindsight, I probably could’ve won this part of the fight without doing anything.

: He’ll alternate between the elements, but it doesn’t matter - nothing is going to do significant damage to Lucifer.

: We still have a SHITLOAD of cutscene left, so I’ll stop the update here. Next time, we’ll do the rest of the cutscenes. We’ll then go through a bunch of optional confidant events before heading to Mementos. That run should be quick as I’ll only need to grind money.

: From there, it’s on to the true final boss of the base game.

[SpammyV]

@Timrod

No Futaba that’s the wrong boyfriend if it’s a Toru Furuya character then stuff isn’t just for show.

I guess the moral is, if you don’t get a redemption story you should’ve tried being more pretty and more popular.

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 97

: It’s because you’re the villain in a bad shonen battle anime. By the way, I went to record again and found out I made a fatal mistake.

: Remember when we fused Lucifer? I forgot to register Michael, so I had to re-fuse him from scratch.

: “For causing countless mental shutdowns in others, you will atone… with your life.”

: “Don’tcha got something to say to our leader before you go passin’ out?”

: “Yes… I acknowledge… that I incriminated you on false charges. I did it to protect myself… I’m so sorry for what I’ve done… it feels as though it’s been quite some time since I have felt sincerely apologetic.”

: “Hmph. That may be good… So, I’ve been defeated… haha… hahahaha…”

: “No… did they succeed? Hey!”

: Okay, so… wait. What you’re saying is that you can erase Shido’s palace by temporarily killing him - and you didn’t think to do this, I dunno, the moment the party sent the calling card?

: I mean, he has Wakaba’s research and should know how the treasure works. All he’d have to do is die temporarily and then he’s immune to the calling card forever.

: “Anything will do! Give it to me!”

: Doctor: “Uh, sir? The pills don’t work that quickly. I’m pretty sure you’re faking it. Sir?”

: Back when the fidget spinner thing was a fad, I bought one that looks a lot like that wheel. It was metal and cost me like $15. I gave it to a kid I used to read books to as part of a volunteer thing.

: “I must… steer this country! If I don’t, who will!?”

: “What arrogance…”

: “What the…”

: The palace starts exploding in the background.

: “Huh!?”

: “An explosion…?”

: “But we haven’t taken the Treasure yet…”

: “We’ll talk later! Come on, let’s grab the Treasure and run!”

: “We can’t get through like-”

: “What is happening!?”

: “Hey, Navi!”

: “The ship is exploding… but why!?”

: “What kinda sloppy explanation is that!?”

: “I don’t know what’s happening either!”

: “Something might’ve happened to Shido in the real world!”

: “Whaddya mean ‘something’!?”

: “I don’t know!”

: “Standing around here isn’t going to help!”

: “We have to run!”

: “Navi! Are there any other escape routes!?”

: “I’m looking, but…”

: To be fair, the hallway only starts filling with water after she points at it, but this is still a SMART GIRL moment.

: “No!”

: “Our path!”

: “Still, where else can we go!?”

: Joker’s thinking “You know, this boat could explode right now and I’d take maybe 20 damage.”

: “Crap, this side too!”

: “Are we… sinking?”

: “We are not gonna die like this!”

: Joker: “It’s okay, I’m pretty sure in the event of an emergency, Lucifer is usable as a flotation device. Plus I have what, three different Personas who are canonically the size of the entire universe?”

: For legal reasons, I have to remind you that the government has not cleared Lucifer as an emergency flotation device.

: This scene is kinda dumb when you remember that canonically, Futaba rides around in her Persona and can fly.

: Damn, that’s surprisingly on-model for these animators. This still feels like that moment at the end of Fallout 3 when you have party members who are immune to radiation who refuse to go into the water purifier for you.

: This is Ann calling out, because that this point the animators have fully embraced the Ann/Ryuji ship.

: No, Ryuji, the boss fight’s already over. That music stopped playing a full five minutes ago.

: Futaba probably could’ve detached the lifeboat already. I have to wonder though: why would Shido’s boat even have lifeboats on it if it’s basically the only livable surface area on the planet?

: Ryuji makes a standing 20-foot vertical leap, because this is the magic brain realm.

: For some reason, Futaba and Makoto are hugging in every single one of the next few shots, and I don’t know why. Also christ that is the most off-model I think Ann has been in any of the P5 anime.

: Joker’s covering his eyes because he’s thinking “Wait, why is Yusuke manning the motor? I’m the Tatsuya in this relationship!”

: That boat must’ve been made of recycled Ford Pintos or something.

: Well, shit. RIP Ryuji, killed because the animators forgot that Futaba can fly.

: “Ryuji!?”

: “He didn’t… make it out…”

: Come to think of it, it would’ve been cool if they had multiple versions of this scene depending on if you’re dating Ann or not.

: “We gotta go back!”

: “That’s impossible…”

: “Ha…haha… this isn’t funny at all…”

: “He was our fastest runner too!”

: I looked it up, and apparently everyone involved in any aspect of Japan’s legal system (the legislators, prosecutors, attorneys) have their own badges.

: Someday, the US government will recognize the sheer number of potential crimes against humanity I stopped by LPing YIIK and award me a medal like that.

: Speaking of which, and I’m not going to test this myself, someone commented in one of the videos I put up of the pre-patch Golden Alpaca fight. Apparently, the new version of the fight takes even longer if you’re not on New Game Plus with maxed-out stats. I may go back and upload my save for that.

: “Didn’t you… die?”

: “What!? I got blasted out from the explosion… when I woke up, I was lyin’ on the grass… I mean, ain’t I alive?”

: “What’s this? Your cryin’ face is so not cute.”

: “What’d I do?”

: “We were worried about you!”

: “You troublemaker!”

: “Wait, what’s this about? H-hold on… okay? C’mon, I-I… almost… k-kinda died! Uh, you guys are joking, right?”

: This scene is dumb and feels like they ripped it out of a shitty harem manga.

: “I’m feeling a bit hungry.”

: “Why don’t we stop by somewhere before going home?”

: “Then, I want sauteed foie gras!”

: “We’re in reality right now, you know.”

: “What have I…?”

: “Medicine?”

: “I-I… ngh…”

: Well, at least we know that it worked.

: “Don’t tell me…”

: “I’m gonna get angry if you don’t come out! Sojiro… ah… sob”

: Fuck this. You know what would’ve been infinitely better? If they had a scene like the one in Persona 4 where they find Sojiro in the hospital - alive, but with the shit beaten out of him.

: It would accomplish largely the same thing that Nanako’s kidnapping did in 4: showing that the events outside have now finally reached Joker’s home, and his life will never be the same.

: “You’re the same as Ryuji!”

: “What’re you talking about? I was taken to that asshole Shido’s place, but they suddenly told me I could go home. That’s thanks to his change of heart, right?”

: Why didn’t they kill him? They had no problem killing pretty much everyone else, no matter what their actual degree of involvement was.

: “Thought as much. They had me blindfolded the whole time, so I’ve got no idea where they took me… though it sounded like they were oddly bustling about.”

: “Looks like it’s going well.”

: “But man, my handsome mug was nearly ruined. That’s all fine and dandy… but they really did a number on this place. Sorry to bother you two when you’re tired, but I need you to help me clean up.”

: “We just have to wait like usual now.”

: Wait. How do they know Shido isn’t dead? They saw his shadow die.

: “All right. We should act as normal as we can while we’re waiting too.”

: We call Kawakami, then I make a quick trip to sell all the junk. I find it amusing that you can increase the gun made from Lucifer to 666 attack power.

: We go to introduce Clara to Lucifer. In a good game, you’d be able to recruit her for the final bits by introducing her to Lucifer. Her Persona would be censored and implied to be something so horrible even Lucifer can’t imagine it.

: “Oh my god, I had a horrible fucking nightmare. I was in the maid cafe, and I saw some shit. Shit no human was meant to see.”

: “The look on your face seems to be that of a man who has accomplished a great deed.”

: “To think you would use the trap set against you to entrap them… I’ve never seen a dramatic resurgence such as that. Truly marvelous - those are the only words I can think of to describe you.”

: I picked this option because come The Last Day, it will take on a whole new meaning.

: “We should be thanking you for entertaining us thus… you’ve even overcome a mysterious misfortune. There should be no one left to hinder your rehabilitation.”

: “Your rehabilitation will be completed shortly. That is… if everything goes well, without any problems.”

: Whose shoes are those? Those definitely aren’t Joker’s - he wears brown shoes. They’re also not Futaba’s… so whose are they? Seriously, I don’t know. This isn’t a plot point or anything.

: “Damn. How many times have I had this dream? Or… could it be that it’s not a dream at all? My memories aren’t any closer to coming back to me… but… might there be something I’m supposed to remember?”

: “If… If I’m really not human… and if the truth of that comes to pass down in the depths of Mementos, I… could it be that I’ll…”

: This is the last Mementos request that was in the base game. Royal adds five more, two of which only unlock after we defeat the final boss of the expansion.

: The final requests are completely pointless to do (other than providing mid and end bosses for the new area of Mementos in Royal) because they happen after The Last Day and none of them count towards Mishima’s confidant.

: “This guy’s definitely got Lady Ann more heated than usual. All right, Akira. Let’s make sure we change his heart!”

: I also finally cash in this one lottery ticket I bought months ago specifically to get a cheevo.

: We were supposed to have an event with Makoto today. Here’s a protip: NEVER PICK THE MIDDLE OR BOTTOM OPTIONS. They lead to generic scenes and not the optional ones we want.

: Instead, we’re going to take Makoto to Motomachi Chinatown.

: “Hmm… we passed through a blue gate, so I suppose we’re in Chinatown now, right? There was something I wanted to try here… hm, what was it?”

: SMART GIRL at work.

: “Pork buns? Sesame dumplings? No, that’s not it… sorry, it’s completely slipped my mind. It has shrimp and cabbage inside, and it’s wrapped in rice paper…”

: “That’s it! I don’t know why I forgot the name. I know I can get them in Tokyo, but I might as well have an authentic Chinese one here… what’s wrong? You’re frowning.”

: Note that I’m only picking the middle option because it’s the “correct” one. Joker would absolutely pick the top option.

: “Oh, wait… aren’t spring rolls Vietnamese…? Sis would get mad at me if I made a mistake like this on an exam… then again… China and Vietnam are right next to each other. Maybe we’ll still be able to find some here…”

: “Why don’t we start looking? This is going to be fun. If we’re going to get lost, we might as well get lost completely. Come on, let’s start with that street over there!”

: We’ll replace this soon.

: I spend the night doing Star Forneus and finishing it off. You can see the shirt from Futaba in the background - it hangs off the work desk.

: “Not that I asked for your opinion on the election. Well, no matter what the cause was, this election is heading in the right direction.”

: “Before we knew it, Shido had everyone in the palm of his hand. Deceiving people so well that they don’t even realize it… just how influential is Shido?”

: Why does Ann sound like she’s trying to narrate this like it’s an anime? Anyway, there’s another Persona 4 reference on TV.

: This is presumably a TV dramatized version of Persona 4 - the first two murders have the bodies wind up on a telephone pole and a TV antenna.

: Today’s another optional event with Yusuke. Have I mentioned the special Christmas Yusu-Gay we have coming up?

: We’re going to the planetarium with Yusuke to do what all couples do in a planetarium.

: “It’s the perfect way to prepare yourself before being fully immersed in your imagination. Ah, and so it begins.”

: “A swath of vibrant stars suspended in a void of cold darkness… pure beauty ruled by the laws of space! I see… I had been truly blind!”

: “Yes! I’ve truly awoken to a greater inspiration! Space is where everything began, and so it is filled with near infinite possibilities… I may have said this before, but you provide wonderful stimulation, Akira.”

: All Joker wanted to do is make out.

: “It feels as though you have expanded the boundaries of my perception. Thank you for that. I ask that you continue introducing me to new experiences.”

: “By the way, the couple over there seems to be giving us quite a cold gaze. Is it my fault? Or perhaps both of ours? Please, take this to commemorate today… My Space Memorial Day. Oh, what a wonderful day it is!”

: Couple: “Why aren’t those gay kids making out? Don’t they know the planetarium rules?”

: Wait… star stickers?

: We finish Star Forneus and get the card for it.

: Today, we have an optional event with Ann at the hotel buffet in Shibuya.

: “This place has so much on their menu, it’s hard not to overeat… oh! How about this? Operation: Eat a Bit of Everything!”

: “Right? It’s quality over quantity! Honestly… it was crazy how much my stomach expanded last time. But I’ve reflected on my actions… and I won’t make the same mistake again!”

: “But, Akira… can you keep an eye on me? I think as long as you do, my resolve won’t crumble. Well then, let’s get eating. The order you eat things seems important. Let’s start with the stuff that digests quickly…”

: “No wonder this place is expensive… I’m amazed they give out stuff like this! …I feel like I’d just eat from it nonstop if I kept it at my house… can you take it?”

: Oh boy, we’ve got a boyfriend lure! Everyone knows boyfriends cannot resist liquid chocolate.

: We spend the night progressing in Punch-Out.

: We also set out the lure.

: “I’m astounded he was able to deceive this many people. Madarame was a shrewd con artist, but Shido is on an entirely different level. But, this charade will all come to a halt soon.”

: “Once he unveils the truth, the good people of Tokyo will rally together against this tyrant. Until then… I must be patient.”

: Today, we’re taking Ryuji to Nakano for an optional event.

: “Then let’s play a fightin’ game. Loser buys our ramen!”

: “Huh? What’s with the huge crowd over there? Ooh, maybe they’re filmin’ something. That could mean there’s a celebrity… oh, shit! Isn’t she a pretty popular actress? Daaamn, I’ve never seen her in real life.”

: We must follow the ways of Satomi Tadashi and be extremely thirsty for every female celebrity we come across.

: “Hell yeah! I ain’t about to miss this!”

: “Man, that place was packed. She’s damn popular, that’s for sure. Totally worth it, though. I think she even looked at me…”

: “…That’s harsh, man. Anyway, let’s get back to shoppin’.”

: These are, of course, the Golden Age Featherman figures from before Red and Black got married.

: Today, we have the final Persona 4 reference on TV.

: Yukiko, truly the best girl from Persona 4.

: Joker calls Makoto to let her know she can fuck off and then takes a road trip.

: We finish Punch Out, and get the card for it.

: Next time, we’ll go to Mementos and win a boss fight with one button. We’ve still got some optional confidant events to do, but at this point we’re just over a week from The Last Day.

[drcakey]

@Timrod

: Loki? Really. Loki’s the best you can do? He’s a fucking third-stringer in Persona 1 and never really gets better. Seriously, I don’t think there’s a single game Loki has been in where he’s not a jobber.

I think it’s because Loki is the villain in the original Megami Tensei novel. And because he’s a trickster, obviously. I actually thought and wrote that sentence before I realized that it’s because he’s a trickster like Akechi, but more importantly he’s a Trickster, like Akechi and Joker.

@Timrod

: “Everyone denies the value of hard work these days. Instead, they seek to effortlessly gain wealth. That is why I must reestablish this mighty country. One that does not waver… one that others bow to.”

“No need to better yourself. You’re American - you’re number one! Then the only value left is dollar value. The economy. So we’ll do whatever it takes to keep it humming along! Even war. Especially war.”

I want to mention that I wrote this before I knew that Shido’s final form was to rip his shirt off and become super-buff.

@Timrod

: Shido’s first form is a blatant ripoff of Char Aznable.

It also looks rad af. Though I’m taking off points for the mane being a regular mane and not also being made of glued-together people.

@Timrod

: “Once he unveils the truth, the good people of Tokyo will rally together against this tyrant.”

Yes, once Shido surrenders, he will lose. I agree, Yusuke.

[SpammyV]

I enjoy how the even more anime than usual cutscene with everyone beating up Ryuji has Joker just chilling in the back not being involved at all. Very in character.

[Timrod]

Summary

: We’ve got a Mementos run today to finish up these last few requests and grind money to fuse the last couple of Personas we don’t yet have unlocked.

: " ‘All women should be conquered,’ was it… we should be careful. We’ve got to change his heart no matter what!"

: I did both of the bosses in this area with Joker alone, and I’m very glad I did because this particular fight is a Persona 1 bossfight. You’ll see what I mean.

: By the way, you’re going to want to remove any female characters in your party if you do this yourself.

: “Because that’s what you make them think!”

: “Whoa… I just got chills. So that’s how you get girls wrapped around your finger?”

: “So I guess you’re not all talk!”

: This fight sucks. Arihara has 4,200 HP and resists Fire, Psychic, and Nuclear (as all of those correspond to a female party member). He doesn’t resist Bless, and it is possible to fight him with Kasumi.

: The wiki doesn’t mention it, but I’m almost positive he also has Ali Dance, because his evasion rate is fucking insane.

: He opens with Womanizing. This is a Charm spell that automatically hits all female party members. It goes through immunity and through evasion.

: If he does manage to hit a party member with it, there’s a pretty good chance that Ann or Makoto will cast Diarahan or Mediarahan on him, healing him to full.

: In a world where Atlus realized how good Persona 1 and Innocent Sin’s auto-battle systems were, I would have used that. Because we have Lucifer, I can hit the Rush button and go take a nap.

: Arihara has two attacks, and both of them are Gun type. Lucifer nulls Gun. We could have made this faster by compendium summoning Arahabaki and killing him with reflects.

: The game throws EXP at you at this stage of the game. We’re probably going to hit level 80 before we finish it.

: “That’s right. Countless lives were ruined because of you. Please, wake them up from their dreams. Don’t let any more people become your puppets.”

: The enemies in the second half of this area of Mementos get replaced once you finish Shido’s palace - the enemies from Sae’s palace move to the first half.

: “He’s acting like he owns the place.”

: “He’s a producer in the world of entertainment, destroying the dreams of young girls, right?”

: “I can’t let this go! I’m going, even if you try to stop me!”

: “No one’s gonna stop you, so calm down! Let’s go!”

: “Yeah, right! Just what are you doing to these girls!?”

: “Don’t be stupid. We’re the ones who’ll be managing you.”

: Hey! This is character assassination!

: This was where I realized I forgot to register Michael.

: As a result, I have to blow almost half of Joker’s SP bar using Sraosha to cast Mafreidyne instead of ending this fight in three hits. How do I know it’s three hits? Well, I had to re-record.

: With the party, this fake Mara is a joke.

: “You’ve done whatever you wanted and caused a lot of damage. What do you plan to do about it now?”

: “Sincerity? How!?”

: And that’s it for this Mementos trip. I grab all the stamps and leave. We’ve gotten them all… in the base game. There’s more in the expansion content.

: “I’m glad to see Lady Ann’s happy. Her smile makes everything worthwhile…”

: “What - shut up! I can see it in my head, all right!?”

: Joker immediately airhorns the cat.

: “Very nice, you got it right. I’m not sure how knowing that would help us, though.”

: It’s doesn’t. You’d be doing it for the knowledge points, though if you’re still trying to get knowledge points this late into the game, something is very wrong.

: The cheat for this game makes it completely trivial.

: Today, we’re taking Yusuke to the shrine.

: “Ah, I see! That is why religion has historically tended to be a central motif in the art world. Perhaps artists picked up on something out of the norm… now then, we should give an offering. Is there anything you want to wish for, Akira?”

: This response is not canon to More Like Yusu-Gay, where Joker goes “The best boyfriend” and then hugs Yusuke right there.

: I’m only posting this shot because I have no idea what the fuck kind of pose that’s supposed to be. It looks like Yusuke is trying to be an anime catboy. I guess that all-catboy stageplay adaptation of Hibike Euphonium really happened after all.

: “I-I am somewhat… actually, I would wish for that as well. However… considering I call myself an artist, I should subsist solely on art. Reliance on a god… hm.”

: “It sounds sublime, yet is in fact quite ordinary; it is sophistry disguised as prayer. That unbalance… this festering thing that exists in the depths of people’s hearts… hm… it may not actually be so bad.”

: Technically, none of the Personas are actual demons, so even though Yusuke has Susano-O in his head he’s not relying on a god.

: “That reminds me, Akira… even a one-yen offering is said to bring divine favors, yes? I would offer more for increased monetary luck, but even five yen is tough for me at the moment…”

: I was curious as to whether Japan even issues 1-yen coins anymore, and the answer is yes. Just like with the penny in the United States, the Japanese mint loses money on each coin minted.

: The reason they haven’t dropped it is because of Japan’s national sales tax. The tax causes prices to not divide evenly by 5 after tax, necessitating the 1-yen coin.

: “Ah well. The gods will surely understand the dire situation of my wallet. You can have this, Akira. After all, what goes around comes around. One must spend money in order to gain money.”

: I like how all of Yusuke’s decorations are ones that go in their own spaces that don’t have anything else in them. There’s one that isn’t - that’s the one we’ll see on The Last Day.

: Not much going on here today, other than another optional event with Makoto.

: “Dome Town… I’ve heard of it, but this will actually be my first time going there. You can lead the way.”

: If you’ll recall, we first went to Dome Town on the day of the TV station trip - this was just before the start of the Kaneshiro arc.

: “No matter if you’re a man or woman, young or old, coming here has to be supreme stress relief. I can understand why so many people choose to come now.”

: “Mm-hm, I agree. That’s the essential experience of coming here, so it’s a great start. Although, um… I’m actually a little nervous. Today, well… from other people’s perspective, this could be called a…date, could it not?”

: None of the scenes where you pick somewhere to go have any prerequisites, as far as I know. Also no it’s not a date because you’re horribly boring.

: “…Never mind. Come on, let’s go have some fun.”

: “I can’t quite put it into words, but I think I understand the appeal of thrill rides now. I do wonder why anyone thought of making such scary attractions in the first place though… people sure are bizarre.”

: “Hm, they gave me this souvenir. I don’t really know much about baseball though, to be honest. Do you like the sport? Here, you can have it.”

: This doll is a reference to the Yomiuri Giants, Japan’s first pro baseball team. Their home games are played at the Tokyo Dome - which is what Dome Town is modeled off.

: “…So tomorrow’s the day. Our job’s finished. All we can do now is sit back and watch.”

: There’s also a new arcade prize in Akihabara. I thought we had the last one.

: In SMT Imagine, Black Frost actually is a crane game prize of sorts. There’s a minigame called DESTINY which puts you in a big empty void full of demons with the goal of killing as many as you can.

: Black Frost and King Frost are the bonus enemies, which put better items in the reward pool at the end.

: Tonight, we’re going to the maid cafe again for a scene so horny that I’m surprised Clara does not melt down and become Pandora.

: I like to think this would be an optional scene if you bring Mara to see her.

: “Oh yeah! Gimme! Spread that love cream all over… wait, holy shit, what the fuck is THAT!?”

: “I’m staring into the abyss and the abyss is staring back! This is goddamn horrifying! I’m a soul-eating giant penis demon and this is fucking horrifying!”

: “It’s like that one doujin with the magical girl who femdoms evil with her giant dildo magical rod, only it’s alive and is trying to eat me!”

: Joker attempts to sound the air horn. The air horn makes no sound. He reaches for his squirt gun, but it won’t fire into the overwhelming abyss of horny. Mara is already at the airport, desperately trying to secure a last-minute flight to New York.

: “I’m never coming back! You can’t make me! No one should be here!”

-

: It’s kinda funny how I’m posting this part right around the time that Japan is about to go into a new election cycle after Suga announced his resignation.

: “That is why…”

: “The one who controlled the hearts of others and gave rise to the countless victims… is myself. It was all for my own promotion… for my own selfish gain.”

: “I’ve even used people’s lives as stepping stones in order to claim this country as my own ship. I am a true criminal that can be tried for any crime, and it still wouldn’t be enough!”

: “I will confess everything! Please, I beg everyone to pass judgment on me… if I could atone for all I’ve done with my life, I request that I be judged at once…”

: “Allow me to say a few words… now then…”

: “He’s started taking charge.”

: “Come now, don’t be that way.”

: "If you’re gonna complain, say it to Shido. A legislator’s pin’s worth almost nothing. Well then, so, since the source of evil, Masayoshi Shido, has been-’

: Run-on sentence. Five-yard penalty, repeat second down.

: “I got to avenge… my mom. It’s all… thanks… to everyone. Thank- sniff sob”

: “I was able to settle a debt in regard to my father as well.”

: “Shido’s guilty, right, Sis?”

: “…It’ll be difficult to prosecute him immediately. But I’ll do this thoroughly until the causality between his other crimes can be proven. I believe Wakaba-san’s research results will save Japan.”

: Translation: Sae is useless because adults are bad and we can’t have an adult doing anything useful. Goddamn shitty adults.

: “We could testify too, you know.”

: “Thank you, but I’ll be fine. I don’t want to add any more unwanted suspicions on any of you. It’s about time you let us adults prove that we can get our act together.”

: “Hey, so what about this guy’s education?”

: “I believe it’ll be fine for him to return to school. It’s true that your face will be recognized among those involved… but I doubt they’ll take a firm action like suddenly coming to arrest him.”

: It’s funny because Strikers starts with the police sending a guy to arrest Joker.

: “At least, they won’t do it until the uproar with your ‘suicide’ and Shido’s confession have died down. Eventually though, the situation where you and I will be used as scapegoats can’t be avoided…”

: That’s the most basic “I just translated a manga for the first time” kind of sentence I’ve ever heard. Try “Eventually, they’re going to need a scapegoat.” The object is implied.

: “…You mean in regard to faking his death. That wouldn’t have happened to begin with had the police done their job properly.”

: Yes, Joker would not have had to fake his death if the police had actually killed him.

: “Of course, I plan on doing everything I can. I will protect you all this time. Prosecuting Shido is that first step.”

: “Hey… when are we going to make the toast?”

: “Right. Let’s get to it! Uhh, today is truly-”

: “Cheers.”

: “Oh, one more thing. It’s fine to celebrate, but keep it in moderation, okay? Considering that Akira’s finally back, all of you need to take your education seriously again.”

: In about three days, we’re going to prove that school is useless by getting the top rank in the exams despite not having been to school for almost a month by this point.

: “…I don’t really get it. What’s he going to ask? Well, let’s leave the popularity stuff to Mishima for now.”

: If you reach Rank 10 with Yoshida, he gets re-elected to the Diet. This is actually a pretty big factor in the base game’s ending.

: We can’t leave Leblanc, and I’ve kind of run out of stuff to do, so let’s watch a DVD.

: I mean, that and stockpiling pain meds.

: Sure, apart from the police trying to use Joker as a scapegoat and probably arresting him again.

: “We changed the heart of someone huge like the next prime minister. There’s no better finale than that. This may be the opportune time to end our deal. I’m sure you’ll be fine now. You can manage without me being with you.”

: “Heh… of course. Don’t worry. I won’t leave immediately. But if I just stay here, I won’t recall anything… I’m a bit envious of you. Here I am… still haven’t found anything about myself.”

: “If only I could find out what’s in the depths of Mementos… let’s go to sleep. You must be tired.”

: This part is like 50 textboxes, and there’s no portraits for any of these characters, so I’ll just do it in text.

Psychiatrist: “We got where we are today because we had him take care of whoever got in our way… if a case is assembled against him, everything about us will be exposed too… what are we supposed to do?”

Shido-Leaning Legislator: “That’s precisely why we’ve gathered to discuss our options! Prosecutor Niijima is serious about taking Shido-san to court, right!?”

Psychiatrist: “Isn’t she under your command? You have to do something!”

Proxy SIU Director: “Yes, I’m aware… but even if we prevent her from doing so, what about the public? Shido-san’s conduct was shameful…”

Shido-Leaning Legislator: “We’ll just have to continue his policies for a ‘rich country’.”

Psychiatrist: “A… rich country?”

Proxy SIU Director: “You mean that plan of advancing foreign affairs by controlling people’s hearts?”

: How exactly do they plan on doing that? Akechi is dead, and they don’t have anyone else who can use a Persona. Persona 1 taught us all what happens when someone without a Persona (or a COMP) goes up against a demon.

Shido-Leaning Legislator: “…After all, the research on it should be proceeding along. We’ll push that plan forward and continue eliminating any who get in our way by using that world… we’ll pledge to build a powerful country. We ourselves will meet the expectations we had of Shido-san.”

Psychiatrist: “A powerful country, huh? I see.”

Proxy SIU Director: “But even if we do pick up where he left off, would his other associates keep quiet about it?”

Psychiatrist: “We should be fine in that regard. Anyone who Shido-san aided would feel that their life is at stake after watching that conference… just as we are now…”

: Why, though? I could understand that if the party had killed Shido, but they clearly didn’t.

Proxy SIU Director: “At any rate, it seems we must first stop that case from being assembled, no matter the cost.”

Shido-Leaning Legislator: “Thankfully, support for Shido-san still exists. Masayoshi Shido was a hero who fell before achieving his goals, and we will carry his torch… that’s what we’ll announce to the mass media.”

Psychiatrist: “…I see. Considering the public’s panic after losing their leader, they may latch onto that immediately…”

Shido-Leaning Legislator: “But if the general public becomes our enemy… we’re done for.”

Proxy SIU Director: “That means… there’s no turning back. Well then, leave Niijima to my group. Can we rely on yours in regards to Shido-san?”

: That’ll do it for now. Next time, we’ll reach The Last Day, which we’ll spend with Yusuke. We’ll also see a bunch of cutscenes and start on our mandatory journey to kill God.

[Timrod]

@drcakey

I think it’s because Loki is the villain in the original Megami Tensei novel. And because he’s a trickster, obviously. I actually thought and wrote that sentence before I realized that it’s because he’s a trickster like Akechi, but more importantly he’s a Trickster, like Akechi and Joker.

It’s supposed to represent Akechi’s dual loyalty to Shido and Joker, but in practice they did it because Loki was a Reiji-only Persona in P1 and Akechi is just Reiji but a villain. I guess you could compare him to Nakajima, because just like Nakajima he’s completely useless and serves no purpose in the story other than to get the shit kicked out of him by absolutely everything.

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 99

: Time to show how useless school is.

: “It happened so suddenly. Can’t blame anyone for being confused.”

: “The year’s already ending, huh? So much has happened that it’s like ‘where did all the time go?’ Oh, but it’s not over for you yet. You still have finals for three days, from tomorrow to the 22nd.”

: We’re already done with practically everything anyway, so it’s not like we need these extra days.

: “I’m sure you already knew that though, right? There’s no way you haven’t started studying yet. They’re coming, whether you like it or not. Well, good luck.”

: “This is the first thing we get after coming to school for the first time in a while? Have you been studying?”

: “I was busy dealing with some of Shido’s cronies. Well, you ARE students, so it’s only fitting you’re doing a study group.”

: “You’re gonna bring us some snacks now and then, right?”

: “You don’t even have exams…”

: “Oh, glad to see you all. Don’t mind me. Make yourselves at home.”

: “You’re too kind. We’ll take you up on that offer.”

: “Why did you bring me here? My school’s exams are already over.”

: Yusuke’s exam was a blank piece of paper with the words “PLEASE ART” on top.

: “C’mon, don’t be so cold! You sayin’ it’s fine if I fail!?”

: “Nothing wrong with that.”

: “Won’t the result be the same whether you study or not?”

: “Now, now, you guys. Just think of it as helping me out!”

: sigh “I don’t know about this…”

: “Making a gamble, huh?”

: “If she’s wrong, we die…”

: “I don’t wanna die…”

: I’m pretty sure in the Japanese voiceovers, Ann and Ryuji say the same thing.

: “Um, is it really that bad?”

: “This is every day for them.”

: “This affects you too, Akira-kun. Well, with your grades I’m not too worried. But you’ve missed a lot of classes, so it couldn’t hurt to study.”

: “Oh yeah, Akira’s good at studying. I feel kind of betrayed…”

: “Betrayed might be a bit much…”

: “Don’t worry, Lady Ann! Even if you’re not great at studying, I’ll…”

: “Now then, let’s get to it. What do you want me to teach you?”

: I’m going to skip the next couple of lines. Basically, you can get Makoto to give you the answer to one question on the exam… except this is pointless and let me explain why.

: The questions on the exam were changed from the base game, but the answers they give you here weren’t! That means you’re getting answers to questions that no longer exist - picking Japanese will have Makoto tell you about the “crow” kanji, which was on the exam in the base game but isn’t in Royal! Fuck!

: I mean, of course they could have updated this for a full-price re-release, but we all know Atlus’s slogan.

: “Sounds good to me! I can’t do any more.”

: “Even if we study and learn what we can in school, doesn’t it feel kinda pointless?”

: “At the very least, it’s necessary for Ryuji.”

: The Japanese Playstation twitter account did a popularity poll for Persona 5’s fifth anniversary. Ryuji came in dead last. Joker was first, Makoto was second, and Akechi was third because of the BL crowd.

: “You wanna say that again!?”

: “Those sorts of experiences are important too, but common sense is just as important. You should know better than anyone how nasty adults without common sense can be.”

: “That’s a great point.”

: “Someday, you’ll graduate high school and become adults. Then when you get married, you’ll need common sense more than ever.”

: Says the guy who was never married.

: “Marriage, huh… do you wanna get married, Akira?”

: I’m not sure what this scene looks like if you aren’t on the romance route with everyone. My guess is it cuts the lines for the people you’re not dating. But then…

: “Well, that won’t be for a while. In the meantime, I’m more concerned with what I’m going to be eating tomorrow.”

: Even in the actual script, Yusuke realizes that he and Joker are on a collision course to marriage.

: “Cut it out, man. You’re makin’ me hungry. Well, I guess we just gotta get back to studyin’.”

: “That took so long!”

: “We covered all the difficult parts, so you should probably be fine.”

: “Good work, everyone.”

: “See? You can do it if you try.”

: “We’re finally done… only god, uh… only knows… how’s that saying go again?”

: Only God Forgives? That movie that was just Nicholas Winding Refn going “Fuck it, we can copy-paste the script for Drive and it’ll win awards”? Or did you mean “The World Only God Knows”?

: “Ryuji’s hopeless.”

: “What’d you say!?”

: “Well, whatever happens, happens. Isn’t it about time you wrapped it up? Be careful on your way home.”

: “Sucks that you have to do exams even after changing Shido’s heart and saving the country. It’s rough being a human. But looking at you… I feel kind of jealous of humans.”

: “I’m sure, now that you don’t have to hide anymore. Your probation ends soon. I dunno if any of this… other stuff will affect that, so just keep quiet.”

: There’s also an optional IM conversation from the 18th.

: Yusuke took it as a natural defense mechanism against outside boyfriends attempting to steal Joker away.

: Tonight, we’re going to the maid cafe to witness the absolute goddamn horror that happens when you rack up 20 points there.

: There actually is a model for if she doesn’t fuck up the omelette, and I imagine that her face looks something like this if she pulls it off.

: The garbage harem manga I pulled this from (Jitsu wa Watashi wa, localized as “My Monster Secret”) also has the protagonist’s teacher being a maid as a plot point.

: There’s apparently a fanbase for it, and I don’t know why. The artist can draw exactly one face and the plot is… nonexistent. It’s Love Hina except all the characters are “monster girls”.

: “This is… just an assortment of their items.”

: …You’re… getting them developed? I’m not sure if this is a localization fuckup or Hashino being stuck in the 80s, but unless that maid is using a Polaroid, she’s not getting those photos developed that day.

: CVS and Walgreens (two of the biggest photo development locations in the United States) had stopped doing one-hour photo development in 2015. By this point in 2016, your only options to get film developed probably involved mailing them somewhere - and I’d imagine this was probably true even in Tokyo, unless these maids know somebody.

: Now, here’s the stupid part about this. In Innocent Sin, which takes place in 1999 (a time at which one-hour photo places were still very much a thing) Yukino had a digital camera.

: The photo is a COMPLETELY USELESS ITEM. It’s not a room decoration, you can’t look at it from the inventory to see the actual photo, and it can’t be sold or gotten rid of.

: It’s wild how Atlus put in all these anime shots that are in completely optional IM conversations that no one is going to look at (because after the start of the game you quickly learn to ignore the “New IM” notification) but didn’t put one in for this.

: Don’t worry though, Salty Vanilla is on it.

: “…There’s a huge signature covering your face.”

: I’m going to skip the rest of the dialog because it’s all generic.

: “Hold on a sec, there’s nothing BUT issues!”

: “It’s exams… We’re the heroes who saved this country, right? Can’t we be exempt from exams? And is it just me, or do we not have as big a sense of accomplishment as I thought?”

: “That’s it! People are so doubtful even after the press conference. He hasn’t been arrested, so I guess that’s expected… we just gotta leave it to Makoto’s sister now. Man, I wish exams would magically disappear by the time we get to school!”

: Do you want SMT If? Because that’s how you get SMT If.

: “It’s been quite a while since we last met at school like this. Thank you for your efforts in changing Representative Shido’s heart.”

: “Oh, if anything, you’re the one deserving all of the thanks, Kurusu-senpai. We should go somewhere to celebrate. Oh, what say we go pay our first respects to the shrine? A new year’s about to begin and all.”

: Of course they’d add this, because it was in Persona 4 Golden. The difference is that in Persona 4 Golden you didn’t have to do that with Marie - you could do it with the only correct choice, that being Yukiko.

: “But, I suppose we ought to deal with exams first. I’ll be in touch afterwards. Please excuse me!”

: “That sounds about right. Let’s see… an essay question? This looks tough, but let’s calm down and think it through.”

: Shouldn’t he be helping Ann? Joker’s been in the top 10 for exams since the year started.

: “He was a really famous thief in the Edo period, right? How much money did he steal, in the end?”

: “That’s right. But he was caught in the end. As a result, he was sentenced to…”

: “Yeah, he was paraded around town and then had his head displayed. It sounds harsh, but it had a certain significance back then, right? Criminals, especially famous criminals being paraded around, was mostly done for…”

: “The people wouldn’t have been happy if he looked shabby for his death. Things were brutal back then… even condemned criminals had to be prettied up for a crowd. So the reason Nezumi Kozo had makeup was to appease the people! You finished in time!”

: “Sounds like we really had Yoshizawa worried. Just wish we could get the general public to change their minds about us, too…”

: sigh “Another day of tests… We finally defeated Shido, but we still have finals… aren’t these battles one after the other tough?”

: Did we really need another identical cutscene to yesterday’s?

: “Wha- how behind are you!? Handle your exams like you do your changes of heart…”

: Joker’s saying that because the exams took more button presses to clear than Shido did.

: “Shido was way worse than this! Tomorrow’s the final day of exams… well, let’s do our best, I guess.”

: “What a coincidence! Good morning!”

: “Morning! I just ran into Akira too. How are exams treating you, Yoshizawa-san? You seem awfully busy with practice lately.”

: “Oh, it’s going wonderfully! …Practice, that is. Not as much the exam part. I passed out while studying last night.”

: “Heh, me too. …Let’s see if we can do better than that today.”

: “Yes, I should see how much I can cram last-minute on the commute…”

: The third day of exams is by far my favorite.

: By the way, welcome to THE LAST DAY. It’s all over!

: “Is everyone out of their minds? How can they still trust Shido?”

: “I’m doing the same as usual. Well, no problems. I’m all right with it, but my sister hasn’t come home these past few days. I think she has a lot on her plate with building a case against Shido…”

: “He has connections to powerful people. I’m sure they want him cleared to save their skins.”

: “Yeah… still, Shido confessed already. That is an indisputable fact. And it’s my sister. She’ll see it through, I’m sure. …With that said, now isn’t the time for us to slack off either.”

: “Do you remember what the exams will cover? I’ll check on the train for you.”

: “Hey, we didn’t learn this in class…”

: On the one hand, it’s kind of bullshit that there’s no way to know what the answer to this is. On the other, I like that it perfectly simulates what it would be like to walk into school after a month and take an exam the next day.

: Let’s try to suss this one out, even though the correct answer is above. We know the US doesn’t have a prime minister, and France doesn’t either. That leaves the UK and Japan.

: Then we remember this is an anime game. Of course the fucking answer is going to be Japan, what else would it be?

: “We didn’t learn this one either…”

: This question is a translation failure on so many levels. For one thing, as far as I can tell, “dokyuu” is not the Japanese word for “massive” at all. I plugged it into a Japanese dictionary, and the only word I got back is 弩級, which is pronounced “dokyuu” and is the Japanese word for a dreadnought.

: You might also notice that two of those words do not have a “do” in English. “Dreadlock” does in Japanese, due to being pronounced “dread hair” (with a do-re at the start of “dread”) when transliterated to katakana.

: So yeah, the answer is “Dreadnought” because that’s quite literally what the word “dokyuu” is. I have no idea how a professional translation team went over this TWICE and didn’t catch it.

: Incidentally, you may not want to google that kanji because it’ll lead you to a manga Joker would not approve of. It involves high schoolers fighting aliens by being horny.

: As I promised, we will be spending The Last Day with Yusuke. I would have spent the night with him too, if I could.

: “But the white noise caused by the crowd is quite pleasant, to be fair. It helps me hone my senses. If I close my eyes, it’s almost as if I’m floating through space.”

: “Indeed. There is much to learn in observing the work of others. Interpretation depends on the state of the observer as well. It is as though art itself is alive.”

: “Honestly, I sense something has changed within me due to our visit here. It seems my attitude toward art has shifted in some way.”

: “Ah, yes. I’d like to show you one of my favorite works. A piece that makes you see something new upon each visit is immensely rare…”

: Joker: “I… I think I’m ready for this stage in our relationship. I’m ready to do it.”

: “I look forward to viewing what I may glean from it today too. I hope you feel the same, Akira.”

: This is going to make no sense when we see what the statue is and will make Yusuke seem like a Fake Art Boyfriend. It is not canon to More Like Yusu-Gay, where they would have seen the piece in question while in Paris.

: The statue is the Venus de Milo, which is on display in the Louvre. My guess is that Yusuke was actually talking about Boticelli’s “The Birth of Venus”, which is currently on display in Italy. Boticelli’s painting is said to have used the Venus de Milo as a reference.

: The worst part of this is that I can’t tell if this is a translation fuckup or if this was in the original script.

: In both of my runs of Persona 4, I always had the protagonist sleep on the last day. Instead, we’re going to do that event with Kawakami that was supposed to happen a couple weeks ago.

: “Somewhere with a pretty night view, with just the two of us… ahaha, is that too much? In any case, I’ll head over if there’s anything I can help you with.”

: “Okay, Mast- wait. Thanks, Kurusu-kun. Riding the Ferris wheel with the guy I love is a dream come true.”

: “…I STILL keep catching myself about to call you that. Really, it’s… still hard for me to believe that this is actually happening. I’m on a date… with you.”

: “But that’s what I love… it’s frustrating to admit it… but I love you.”

: Even though I think Jitsu wa Watashi wa/Monster Secret is trash, I would’ve preferred if Kawakami’s romance scenes were more like the teacher in that, where it’s more her lamenting the fact that she can’t get a date.

: “Ahaha! Wow, now we’re getting into the lines from old cheesy romances, huh? …But I’m happy to hear that. I thought I was too old for that sort of thing.”

: “God, my face must be bright red… you’re the first person to see me like this… I want you to know me better than anyone’s known me before. So please, look into my eyes…”

: “Postponed?”

: “They should be firing him!”

: “And wait, ‘poor health’?”

: “This is completely different from what my sister told us…”

: “How can people still believe in him?”

: “What the heck!? The Phantom Thieves are being treated like, well… like they never existed!”

: “Goodness…”

: " ‘No link among the ‘change of heart’ incidents, only coincidental psychiatric disorders… the Phantom Thieves only used those rumors to their advantage…’ "

: “This is preposterous… who would believe such a thing?”

: “But the person saying this is a famous researcher. And even the ministry is saying that’s how they determined the situation too…”

: “What’s going on? No matter how you look at it, this isn’t normal.”

: “Yeah… it’s as if the people in reality have become distorted… what’s happening here worries me. But the only thing we can do right now is wait and see what happens…”

: “We’re at the cusp of making a case! Do you know how much trouble we’ve gone through to get this far?”

: No, this is a country governed by being neutral - unless you’d prefer the Thousand Year Kingdom or whatever the Gaean plan is.

: “You still want to protect him even though you know what happened to the man previously at your post!?”

: “…What!?”

: “…!”

: “We know he doesn’t need a psychiatric evaluation!”

: “His lackeys must’ve pressured the others around him. It means there’s far more people who’d be in trouble if the truth came out than we imagined.”

: “Isn’t there anything we can do?”

: “Sis said the assembly of a case may be possible if the general public wants Shido held accountable… but even that chance has been destroyed with the manipulation of the mass media.”

: “They made it clear that the argument itself was ‘occult,’ even claiming that it never happened.”

: I know that this happened to a degree in reality, but it seems far-fetched that Shido has so many people in this assassination ring that they can bury him going on live TV and saying he killed someone to the point where the vast majority of people not only don’t believe it, but also don’t even believe that John Persona is real.

: There is a plot reason for this… kind of. It’s not a good plot reason.

: “As a result, the Phantom Thieves are still labeled as criminals, even after all that’s happened.”

: “It’s a storm of criticisms online too. People are saying to catch the remnants and execute them…”

: Wait, wasn’t the whole point that no one believes John Persona even exists?

: “This is crazy…”

: “At any rate, let’s wait for my sister. She should be arriving here soon.”

: “Everyone’s being tricked so easily! Why the hell did we risk our lives then!?”

: “If Shido isn’t judged by the law, everything we’ve done will be treated as if it never happened.”

: “Moving the entire country however they wish by controlling people’s cognition… this is no different than being inside a Palace…”

: “I gathered the best of the best and fought for a case… but as Makoto must’ve told you, it was denied. At this rate, it won’t end with just Shido’s innocence. This trend will continue spiraling down.”

: I’d just like to process this statement for a moment. Sae knows how the Metaverse works. She knows that only eight people (and a cat) have access to it, and seven of them are in the room. I’m assuming that Akechi’s phone probably got destroyed when he died, since he would have needed it to enter Shido’s palace.

: I’m also pretty sure the Metaverse thing can’t be copied the way the Demon Summoning Program can, and that only Igor (or some other god-level entity) can give it to someone. How would anyone else even get into the Metaverse to use it?

: “…But, that’s not what I’m here to tell you. We’re in danger because we know the truth. It’s only a matter of time before we’re apprehended. It wouldn’t be odd if they were to charge in now.”

: “This makes no effin’ sense…”

: I mean, it really doesn’t.

: “Sis…”

: “There’s nothing more I can do with my resources… that’s why… I want to ask for your help. I wondered if there was any way you could do something one last time. I know I’m in no position to ask this of you.”

: “That doesn’t matter to us! So what are we gonna do? Should we change the hearts of all of Shido’s followers?”

: “Even if Futaba were to research all of them, it’d take time.”

: “There’s too little information…”

: “We can only target individuals… are we no match against the national power?”

: “…Mementos. If we use Mementos, we might be able to do something.”

: “There’s something we can do there?”

: “Like I told you before, Mementos is the Palace of the general public. It’s the source of all distortions, and is maintained by the people’s collective unconsciousness.”

: “Wait… do you mean that there’s a Treasure even in Mementos!? And if we go after that-”

: “The collapse of Mementos should affect the public as a whole. The state of society would change too. If everyone’s hearts grow to hold Shido responsible for his actions, things might start going our way.”

: I don’t think I see where the connection between “destroy Mementos” and “people now hate Shido” is, but okay.

: “That’s a bold plan, but an interesting one.”

: “Sounds good to me!”

: So wait, is this just Inception now?

: “…But if we’re gonna do this, there’s one thing you all need to realize. To begin with, why does something like the human cognition exist as another, substantial world? The reason for that is most likely sleeping within Mementos.”

: “…We’ll be destroying that, you know.”

: “… I don’t see where you’re goin’ with this.”

: The game will be over! We’ll have to find something else to LP!

: I mean, it doesn’t at all because the expansion content exists. Strikers does too.

: “We’ll have to discard this way of life…”

: “…”

: “I think we need to do this. I mean, we’re the group who’s reforming society, right?”

: “Akira… what do you think as our leader? You’ll lose your powers if Mementos is erased. Will you still do it?”

: Given that the other option is being arrested and probably killed for real this time, why would Joker say no?

: “…I see. All right. It seems there are no objections.”

: “Did you come up with a plan?”

: This cutscene is WAY longer than it has any right to be.

: “Whether it succeeds or not is another story though.”

: “Last job?”

: “Once we accomplish our duty, we entrust the world to respectful adults. That is our condition for accepting the job.”

: “This is a ‘deal’ then… that’s certainly a heavy condition. But very well, I accept. I swear to make Masayoshi Shido stand and be tried in a court of law. Besides… my pride won’t allow me to be continually saved by you all without doing anything in return.”

: “We’ll be counting on you.”

: “Looks like it’s decided then?”

: “We already said that before though!”

: Did you? I honestly haven’t been paying attention.

: “That’s fine. We’re doing it for real this time, after all.”

: “We don’t have much time, right? We should carry this out tomorrow. I’m counting on you guys. No matter what happens, you better see it through!”

: Before we go to bed, I put up the decoration we got from Kawakami.

: “…Actually, never mind. You must be tired.”

: “Honestly… you’re amazing. There’s definitely something special about you. You dodge everything the enemies throw at you like it’s your destiny.”

: Joker: “No, that’s because every Persona I have has Ali Dance.”

: “At first I thought you were going to be a useful tool for me… but now this is where I belong.”

: Haven’t we had this exact conversation with Morgana like ten times already?

: “Aren’t you only going to be here for a year? Still… it makes me happy to hear that. …It’s not like me to say all that embarrassing stuff. But still… I think it’s fine. For tonight, at least.”

: Futsunushi is basically a tax on what was the best Persona in the base game.

New Persona: Futsunushi

Origin: Japan

First Appearance: Majin Tensei II

Shinto god of swords.

: Futsunushi itemizes into Hi no Kagutsuchi, the sword Nakajima uses in the Megami Tensei novels… but it’s another one of those items we can’t fuse because it doesn’t have a known user.

: We already have most of the ultimate weapons, and we know that Sandalphon itemizes into Kasumi’s best weapon… so who uses Hi no Kagutsuchi?

: The answer to that is why Royal’s plot sucks. We will see that either next update, or more likely the update after that. .

: Anyway, let’s talk about Futsunushi himself briefly. His moveset is utterly meh, apart from his trait. Note that it doesn’t actually triple Charge and Concentrate - it makes them boost the next attack by 3x instead of 2.5x.

: His moveset is an improvement over the base game’s, where he learned Ali Dance and Firm Stance together. Ali Dance is cancelled by Firm Stance.

New Persona: Mercurius

Origin: Greece (as Hermes)

First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei II

Roman god of commerce, speed, and merchants. Also a symbol of the human consciousness. Adapted from Hermes in Greek myth.

: “…He’s repelled such an ordeal, and this guy’s still not being rewarded for it? If gods really do exist… they’re being too hard on him.”

: We gave you words of praise… but we take them all back!"

: The source of what was hindering your rehabilitation… to think it would be the ignorant masses to which you tried to prove your integrity."

: “Did they themselves not show elation for those who are unseen? Despite all that, they now say you do not exist. They toyed with you, yet none take responsibility.”

: “The distortion of man’s world is endlessly deep… fixing it now may be impossible even with the appearance of a Trickster…”

: “M-Master?”

: “…”

: “It seems this is the limit of humanity…”

: Huh. Igor sure sounds a lot like Nyarlathotep.

: “…”

: Next time, we go to the depths of Mementos - the true final dungeon of the base game. There, we’ll hit the split between the base game and Royal.

: We will be doing the base game’s ending… in a separate arc header. Royal’s ending will come first, under a header titled… A WORLD WITHOUT PAIN.

[drcakey]

@Timrod

: “Once we accomplish our duty, we entrust the world to respectful adults. That is our condition for accepting the job.”

I want to acknowledge this as lowkey the worst line in the game. Are the adults shitty or not? What alchemy has birthed this new category of ‘respectful adult’?

@Timrod

: “Did they themselves not show elation for those who are unseen? Despite all that, they now say you do not exist. They toyed with you, yet none take responsibility.”

: “The distortion of man’s world is endlessly deep… fixing it now may be impossible even with the appearance of a Trickster…”

: “It seems this is the limit of humanity…”

: Huh. Igor sure sounds a lot like Nyarlathotep.

He even starts talking in the incomprehensible mush of the P1/P2 PSP localizations, instead of the slightly different incomprehensible mush of P5’s localization.

[Timrod]

@drcakey

He even starts talking in the incomprehensible mush of the P1/P2 PSP localizations, instead of the slightly different incomprehensible mush of P5’s localization.

Yeah pretty much. Reading manga for nine hours a day kind of turned me off to a lot of that, my brain passes sentences like “I am going to go to the store and buy a milks” without even thinking about it anymore. Trust me when I say it’s only going to get worse the closer we get to the base game’s ending.

@drcakey

I want to acknowledge this as lowkey the worst line in the game. Are the adults shitty or not? What alchemy has birthed this new category of ‘respectful adult’?

Oh, that’s easy. The ‘respectful adult’ category came around when Hashino realized that he wasn’t going to have time or space to write a plotline about the party’s stance toward adults changing as they grow up, so instead he stuck that in there and hoped no one would notice.

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 100

: My biggest regret about today is that the game does not let you visit Chihaya before dumping you in the dungeon… meaning I had to grind for alarms.

: “You and everyone else… you’ve all grown so much… no, this is no time to get sentimental. We’re going to end this with a bang! All right, let’s go!”

: Naturally, we get the top score on the final exam. I think there’s a reward you can pick up from Sojiro once we cross into the expansion content. The game then immediately dumps us in Mementos.

: “The door to the depths of Mementos has been opened… wait, does that mean-”

: “…We’re really gonna do this, right?”

: “Of course!”

: “Why’re you askin’ now?”

: “Well… I-I just thought, what am I gonna do if you guys freak out and bail on me!”

: We all should’ve bailed on this game hours ago. Seriously, what you’re about to see is a big samey dungeon with exactly four enemy types and a single puzzle from Nocturne that gets recycled like ten times.

: “We’re going to erase Mementos, aren’t we? Come on, let’s go, you guys!”

: “Mona sure seems hyped up!”

: “Isn’t Mona-chan behaving a little… odd?”

: “You know, you’re right.”

: “Yeah… I shouldn’t have brought that up. Shall we get going?”

: For whatever reason, the game immediately puts you on the first floor of Mementos instead of letting you warp immediately to the last save point.

: In the base game, I did a victory lap on the way to the depths, and probably should’ve this time as well because we are in desperate need of money. Anyway, let’s get to fusing.

New Persona: Minamoto no Yoshitsune

Origin: A Real Person

First Appearance: Devil Summoner

: Yoshitsune is a special fusion between Okuinushi, Shiki-Ouji, Arahabaki, Yatagarasu, and Futsunushi. He was the best Persona in the base game and is still VERY good even in Royal.

: You see, in the base game, it was possible to build Yoshitsune with a skill called Swift Strike - which is a weaker version of his signature skill, Hassou Tobi. The difference is that you could make Swift Strike guarantee critical hits, whereas I don’t think Hassou Tobi could crit even in the base game.

: Let’s talk about Hassou Tobi. It hits all enemies 8 times for somewhere between 100 and 150 damage (with Joker’s stats at current levels). I gave Yoshitsune the trait from Futsunushi that boosts Charge to a 3x multiplier. When Charged, this guarantees that Hassou Tobi does north of 2,400 damage to any enemy not resistant to physical. That’s before we factor in buffs.

: If you’re planning on using him, you probably want to switch out Joker’s gun for the one made using Metatron to get that extra 6 strength, since Yoshitsune gives zero fucks about magic.

: By the way, it’s possible to make a Yoshitsune that absorbs, nulls, or repels everything except guns (as there is no null gun or repel gun skill) and fire (which he’s merely resistant to).

: We can then itemize Yoshitsune into Yusuke’s best melee weapon.

: Let’s head all the way the hell down to the end of Sheriruth. We now know what the entirety of Mementos looks like. I can’t tell if the bottom’s supposed to be the Earth’s core or what.

: “It should be. Why, what’s wrong?”

: “I dunno, it looks just like all the other ones… I was thinkin’ it’s a little disappointin’… maybe we worked too hard to get down here or something.”

: “The lack of unforeseen circumstances is nothing to complain about. Let us continue.”

: “It’s some big, fossil-looking thing… so this must be the Treasure.”

: “So this is where that crowd of people was trying to reach?”

: “People are walking in and out of there, so the other side of the wall must be… wait! It’s not a wall, but a giant door!”

: “Guess that means the Treasure’s not here. C’mon, let’s stay focused.”

: “It opened straight away… I bet that means the inner depths the Meta-Nav was talking about before are right ahead.”

: “Hold on. The door only opens from this side…”

: “…What do you mean?”

: She means it’s one of those “Doors that don’t open from this side” from Dark Souls.

: “Well, I took a quick peek at the mechanism inside the door… and it looks like you can only open it from here. We can get in, but nothing can get out.”

: Even though Futaba is saying this, the door will remain open even once we go through it. You can go into the final dungeon and then back out to Mementos.

: You can access Iwai and Tae from the first floor if you need to - this is because we have to clear this dungeon in one day. Not that that’s a huge challenge, given we’ve been doing it the whole game.

: “It’s as though whatever lies within has been locked away…”

: “Wait, so you’re saying that the people going in there are choosing a life of imprisonment?”

: Since Haru went ahead and said it, yes. This is what the theme of the rest of this game is going to be. In fact, the plot of Royal isn’t all that different.

: “I have never felt such eeriness before… what is this place?”

: “We’ll find out once we reach the depths. Come on, let’s go.”

: “It’s so creepy…”

: “So those strange pipes tunneling through Mementos were originating from down here after all. You know, I have been considering this for some time… they remind me somewhat of veins.”

: “I mean, what does everyone think this world is…!?”

: “Calm down, Lady Ann. The Treasure is definitely here, and that’s what’s important now. And I can sense something else. A tremendous presence that’s coming from much deeper within…”

: “I don’t know that I want to find out what that may be, but we must harden our resolves. It’s time to head for the depths!”

: Gotta love how neither of them answer her question.

: “It looks like they’re all trying to get past that door.”

: “But why’s it so crowded!?”

: “It looks like the door’s keeping them all out. We’ll have to try and look for another way in.”

: The other way in is simply jumping around the side.

: “The Shadows out front were trying to get in here, right? What could it be…?”

: This dungeon reminds me a lot of those “orange” maps you’d see in Counterstrike and Team Fortress 2 that use the stock developer textures. It’s about as exciting, too.

: “…Is this a prison!?”

: I wish I could find the clip from Sonic 06 of Silver going “ARE WE UNDERWATER?” because this is one of those moments.

: “Who’s captured here?”

: “Technically speaking, I would say it’s someone’s Shadow…”

: “They’re saying something…”

: “They feel safe being here? What’re you saying? You’re being kept in a prison.”

: You know, they’re doing the whole “jail is the safest place” thing that guy from Yakuza 0 did before he got shot by a guard who was on a rival family’s payroll.

: “This reminds me of Kamoshida’s castle… they’re like the ‘slaves’ we saw there.”

: Oh, okay, it’s not Yakuza 0, it’s STALKER. Actually… it really kinda is STALKER, given what we’re about to run into.

: “A system that grants… desires?”

: “Something like that exists? Here!?”

: “It’s no use. You can’t reason with these people.”

: “They’re truly ‘distorted’, just like the scenery here…”

: “Quarantine? Who’s locked in there?”

: Everyone, in about four years.

: “…? Mona?”

: This is one of the only forced fights in this dungeon. Two Melchizedeks are nothing we can’t take out… even though Wind is kind of our weak point right now due to Baal being the same since Okumura’s Palace.

: “Wait a sec… this is everyone’s Palace, right? Not like Kamoshida’s castle… who’s keepin’ these people here?”

: “Mona-chan?”

: “…I remember now. I’ve… seen this place before.”

: Could it be that just like Teddie, he’s actually a Shadow? Oh wait, we already know he is.

: “Hold on though. It wasn’t open until we came here today.”

: “Sorry… it’s just a sense I’m getting. Still… it feels like I’m really close to remembering something important…”

: “Y’know, comin’ in here was what you wanted from the beginning. We just gotta keep movin’ on!”

: “On top of that, I’m curious to know who the ruler of this place is.”

: “Wait, what about these people?”

: “Leave them be. They’ll be taken care of if we erase Mementos.”

: “Hey, it’s dangerous to keep standing around here! Let’s get going!”

: The first couple of rooms after the cutscene are all generic and contain exactly three enemy types - and we’ve already seen one, that being Melchizedek. All of them are within Insta-Kill range.

: One of the two remaining enemy types is Moloch. He goes down very quickly to Satan.

: I’m going to skip a lot of the dialog here, because this is a puzzle recycled from Nocturne.

: Pushing one of these red pillars makes a bunch of yellow tiles appear.

: Stepping on a yellow tile turns it blue, while stepping on a blue tile turns it yellow.

: The goal is to turn all the tiles blue and end up on the space with the pillar, essentially making an Euler circuit. Not every one of these is solved that way, as some of the later ones require doubling back.

: No shit. This puzzle is set up so you can’t possibly fail.

: “So that device is not only a switch, but also the wall that’s blocking our path.”

: “That’s a pretty elaborate device…”

: “It is only natural that security is tight in a prison. Then again, no inmates actually wish to leave…”

: This isn’t a forced battle. The game spawns the enemies, who will immediately begin patrolling but won’t notice you provided you keep moving forward.

: The other enemy type that appears here is Lilith, who… well, let me take this opportunity to show off Hassou Tobi.

: Even uncharged and without the starting status effects from ambushing enemies with the grappling hook, Hassou Tobi can end encounters by itself.

: There’s a lot of these NPCs around. Most of them say the same thing with slightly different phrasing.

: “The hell…? Is this some kinda prison cell too…?”

: “Plus there are those blood vessel things coming down into it…”

: We also max out Haru. She’s now pure gun and psy damage. In the end, it’s probably better that she doesn’t learn any fourth-tier spells due to how high their cost is.

: I grab another alarm and fuse US Ambassador to Japan John Thorman. We need him for a 5-way fusion.

: Thorman itemizes into Imprisoned Mjolnir, which is Ryuji’s best melee weapon. You know, Ronald Reagan was in the original Megami Tensei novels and I’m wondering if anyone tried itemizing him. Anyway, we use Thorman to do the last Persona fusion we’re going to do until the expansion.

New Persona: Chi You

Origin: China

First Appearance: Devil Summoner

Chinese war deity who is half man, half bull. Fought a war against Huang Di, said to be the ancestor of all Han Chinese. Was defeated and eventually beheaded by Huang Di’s general, Yinglong. Also important to both Miao and Hmong folklore.

: Chi You is a five-way fusion between Yoshitsune, Cu Chulainn, Thor, Hecatoncheires and White Rider. In practice, he’s basically Kohryu but with better stats and a unique skill that reduces the cost of Psychic spells by 75%.

: The next room has a hook point in it that we can use to reach one of Morgana’s better weapons.

: We also get a good look at Yusuke’s new sword.

: Ann gets maxed out, learning her final spell. She can only use Blazing Hell ten times on a full SP bar, which is why fourth-tier spells aren’t the best on the party members. It’s only really worth it on Joker due to how much he can lower the cost by.

: “Happiness is much more than simply ‘gaining’ things. To be honest, I can’t believe he’s actually enjoying his life here…”

: Yes it is, only this time one of the tiles starts out blue. We’ll skip it.

: There’s a save room, and then yet another one of these extremely challenging puzzles. We’ll skip this one too.

: “It truly seems to go on ad infinitum… where does it lead?”

: “I never expected there would be this much here… but the Treasure’s presence is getting stronger. We’re going in the right direction for sure.”

: “No… Madarame…”

: “Is President Okumura here too!?”

: “Father isn’t around anymore…”

: “…Sorry.”

: “No, it’s okay. More importantly, look here.”

: “The hell’s goin’ on!? These guys shoulda had a change of heart from their Palaces disappearin’!”

: “Man, your bod’s as great as always. C’mon, come closer.”

: “You creep!”

: “Hmph… I’m joking. I don’t want any more trouble. I finally get to live without having to think for myself now.”

: “I mistakenly thought myself to be talented… but now I think I’m a fool for wanting too much.”

: I’ll spare you posting that theme from that game that just came out, because in a year’s time the fanbase will have ruined it. You know the one.

: If you’re reading this in a year, please congratulate me on accurately predicting the future.

: “It’s not like you get punished for bein’ dumb. Nobody needs to strive to be more than they really are.”

: “These people seem completely different than they were before…”

: “I don’t think it’s because they had a change of heart though…”

: “Wait… have they chosen a life of captivity after they lost their distorted desires?”

: “Unfortunately, Okumura isn’t here with us. Nothing can be done for the dead… I’m sorry.”

: “…Yes, I know. Thank you for the details. Now if you don’t mind, what in the world is this place?”

: “It’s supposedly called the ‘Prison of Regression’.”

: “Regression?”

: “More importantly, does this look like captivity to you? Why, it’s the exact opposite. The utmost freedom is available to anyone who desires it here. This is the freedom to not make decisions… the release from having to think for yourself.”

: “It is far more marvelous than the country I wished to create…”

: They really needed an option to have Futaba shoot him in the head mid-speech.

: “Release from having to think? But, that’s…”

: Two things. One, why the fuck does any of this matter? Two, isn’t this just the end of The Matrix?

: “So those are the Palace rulers…”

: “I really gotta thank you for changin’ my heart. I got to come back here, after all.”

: “We… sent 'em back here?”

: “I don’t understand… just what have we been doing by using the cognitive world?”

: “That’s true, but…”

: “This ain’t the time to be gettin’ confused! We’re here as the society-fixin’ Phantom Thieves today!”

: “Having the freedom to not make your own decisions only means that someone else is controlling you! Tell me - who is the ruler here? Who made all of this?”

: Let me tell you why I hate this scene. Up until now, the villains are more or less ripped straight from the Shounen Battle Manga 101 playbook. They’re obviously the villains, behave in a way that borders on cartoonish, and are there to be the bad half of a world where everything is black and white.

: This scene tries to take what are basically your shounen battle manga opponent of the week and turn them into something deeper that was never really there to begin with. It also tries to bring up the question of “Is what the party is doing the right thing to do?” about a hundred hours after we’ve established that this is a black and white morality shounen battle manga.

: “Haven’t you learned anything in school? The collective ruler of a democratic country is its people.”

: It’s like Hashino picked up a Noam Chomsky book, read the first few pages, and went “WHOA MAN, THIS IS SOME DEEP SHIT” and then made a plot where the central idea is “Whoa man, did you know society is like, a prison and we’re all prisoners in it?”

: “D-Don’t lie outta your ass like that! I mean, there was a guard here earlier! That means someone’s gotta be lookin’ out for you guys, right?”

: “You may be right. We are the ones ‘looking out’ upon everyone else.”

: God fuck I hate every single word of this entire thing! Fuck! This is like, entry-level pseudo-intellectual bullshit!

: “No…”

: “So the ones who least want the prison to be tampered with… are the prisoners themselves?”

: “It don’t matter what this guy’s talkin’ about… we’re gonna erase all of Mementos anyways! C’mon, let’s keep goin’! Mona! The Treasure’s in the deepest part, right!?”

: “Mona?”

: Why isn’t Futaba pissed? They were supposed to make Shido pay for killing her mother, and now he’s sitting in a jail cell not giving a fuck. You’d think she would be fucking livid at this.

: “I saw the humans in here… and realized I looked different than them for some reason. …Right! That’s when I started to think I wanted to turn into a human!”

: “Is that why you thought you would regain your true form if we destroyed Mementos?”

: “Sorry… I’m still missing a lot of my memories… but I know I started randomly checking a bunch of Palaces… then my next memory is about that bastard Kamoshida’s. …Yeah… I’m starting to remember more…”

: “Guards again!? And there are more of them this time!”

: “Dammit… we got careless!”

: “Let’s run!”

: Also not a forced battle.

: Oh wow, I didn’t know Roy Guarder from acclaimed Zelda clone Two Brothers was in Mementos.

: This area introduces Chernobog as a regular encounter. On the left is this dungeon’s new treasure demon: Hope Diamond.

: The room past where the former palace bosses were is mostly skippable, but it’s one of the only rooms where you can encounter this dungeon’s red shadow.

: Abaddon is a big, tanky fuck who absorbs Physical, Gun, and Curse. He’s neutral against everything else except Bless, which he resists. This is a significant buff from the base game, where he was weak to Nuke and Psychic.

: Fortunately, we get a Gun Down against him which immediately erases half of his HP.

: His magic defense is also on the low side, allowing Chi You to hit four digits without concentrating.

: The next area has a miniboss right at the start to introduce us to the second half of the glowing floor puzzles.

: “There’s something shining back there… what could it be?”

: “Either way, if it is worth being protected, it should be safe to assume that it’s of value to us. What do you think, Joker? Shall we defeat it and take whatever it is protecting?”

: This miniboss is a pair of Thrones, the only class of angel we never bothered to fuse because they’re just not that useful. They learn Fire Amp and Inferno… but we have Mada already.

: Yusuke laughs at their pathetic attempts to kill him instantly.

: Throne is weak to Nuclear, so we let Big Mike handle this one.

: This fight maxes out Ryuji, who is still trash compared to Yusuke.

: It also maxes out Morgana, who now has the best heal spell in the game.

: Makoto learns Atomic Flare. Keep in mind those stats are before the +11 to everything from her gun. She’s easily the strongest character we have.

: “Hm… what do you think this could be used for…?”

: “Who knows? It’ll prolly come in handy though. I mean, that strong-ass Shadow was guardin’ it.”

: Joker would like to remind you that horny jail is a very real place.

: “…Do you think that could be the Quarantine Cell we heard about?”

: The disk we got opens a closet. Looking back, I’m not entirely sure why this is necessary for this particular puzzle, but we’ll need to do something similar for a bunch of upcoming ones.

: The idea is that you can use the closet as a free space to reset the tile in front of it.

: “We’re so far underground at this point…”

: “I hope we don’t suddenly find ourselves in a giant pool of lava.”

: “Still, we gotta keep going!”

: “Doesn’t that cell seem… different from the others?”

: “Wait… could this be that Quarantine Cell?”

: “Supposedly the most sinful, most dangerous inmate is held within…”

: I think you can guess who that inmate is. He’s five foot something, gay, and has never been horny except for Yusuke. Technically, it’s someone else - but we all know it’s really Joker.

: “This… this place smells familiar for some reason…”

: “Mona-chan?”

: “…There’s no mistake. This is it. I… was born here.”

: He was born in horny jail! That explains his constant thirst for human women, and also Joker!

: “Born? Inside the prison?”

: “Wait, then are YOU the dangerous inmate!?”

: “No… the inmate wasn’t me… but I remember this place… someone created me here. To guide all of you…”

: “Guide? And who is this someone?”

: “Ngh… I can’t remember… damn it… I’m so close, but my memory is too foggy…”

: “Y’know, hearin’ all this just makes me wanna know what’s inside.”

: We have to eat a couple of attacks, none of which do all that much damage.

: “Given how important this cell appears to be, the depths of Mementos must be near. Mona’s memories may return if we continue on…”

: “Yeah…”

: “So, we’re finally gettin’ close to the public’s Treasure, huh?”

: “Now that I think about it, it makes sense Mementos would connect to some place like underneath Shibuya. Everyone crams themselves into packed underground boxes day after day without any complaints…”

: “From my standpoint, those are the true inmates of Mementos. It’s no surprise the places are connected.”

: “You know, the voices of the public may have led the Phantom Thieves on more than any criminal…”

: SMART GIRL

: “Seriously! Let’s hurry up and steal that Treasure so we can crush Mementos!”

: “We truly are reforming society. Let’s go!”

: The next area has Orochi in it, who dies about as quickly as you’d expect.

: Now we get to deal with ADVANCED stupid floor puzzles.

: I make it down this far and then the tiles go red.

: The trick here is that there’s a semi-transparent bridge behind where the party is in this shot, and you’re supposed to do a circuit by using the bridge.

: “Reality is ending? That is similar to what the others in the prison are saying… what could that mean?”

: Most of the NPCs here keep talking about the apocalypse. We’ll see what that is… soon.

: There’s a big dumb area here with a bunch of stupid floor puzzles. I’m going to skim over it because this is even less of a dungeon than Shido’s was.

: The trick is to do the left side first, then the right side, then the top. This opens up some walls so that you can do the top puzzle in less than ten moves. There is a kind of mercy mechanic where if you hit the last tile (the one with the pillar on it) on your 10th move, it will still let you finish the puzzle.

: There’s one last save point, and then it’s time for a boss fight.

: “It’s huge… I didn’t realize such a gigantic place existed here…”

: “Is… this where everyone’s Treasure is held?”

: “But this ominously bizarre air about it… it almost feels like a temple of sorts. Although…”

: “Look, th-there’s no point freakin’ out now! C’mon, let’s go!”

: Well, there’s the boss. Time to go kill it.

: “And… what’s that thing in the middle?”

: “There are no other passages leading out of this room. It appears this is our final destination… the depths of Mementos.”

: Kind of funny that it’s Fox telling us about Final Destination.

: “In that case, is the Treasure of Mementos somewhere in here?”

: “I’ve never been here… but I can sense it. There’s no mistaking that presence. If we get rid of it… if we get rid of it, the public should come to its senses!”

: “But something that large will be impossible to carry out of here.”

: “We just gotta make it disappear, right? If we can’t move it, then we’ll just hafta destroy it!”

: “Yeah… that will work.”

: “Once we do that, the entire Metaverse is going to disappear, right? This is finally it…”

: “That thing isn’t gonna sit back and let itself get destroyed.”

: “Even the inmates are starting to liven up. How eerie… are they planning something?”

: “That must mean this thing’s gotta be the Treasure. They saved us the trouble of checkin’!”

: “…Hold on. Something’s off. Shido said the masses are allowing themselves to be held captive here. Could they truly be operating this gigantic system that eliminates intruders on its own?”

: “The prison guards and soldiers were very organized too…”

: “Are you trying to say that someone else rules this place? Is it not the public?”

: “We don’t have time to worry about that! Leave it for later!”

: “All right, guys! We better not lose now!”

: We start out with our usual boss killing repertoire: Concentrate and Thermopylae. Rivers in the Desert is playing in the background, because Atlus was too cheap to make a theme for this boss.

: The boss has only one attack: Arrow of Light. It does Almighty damage, but only attacks one target and never actually hit during this fight.

: With one salvo of attacks, we’ve reduced the boss to 50% HP. That seems… oddly specific, doesn’t it? That’s because we’ve just triggered the script. The game skips Joker’s turn.

: The prisoners start chanting the words “Holy Grail”.

: The boss then heals itself for somewhere between 900 and 1000 damage in a loop until it is at full health.

: “What was that!? Don’t tell me… are the inmates giving it their strength!?”

: “Dammit! This is never gonna end!”

: “It seems hopeless if there are this many inmates supporting it…”

: The game won’t reveal the boss’s name until we fight it for real, but I’ll tell you exactly what it is: it’s Yaldabaoth… also known as the Demiurge… also known as YHVH. We are killing God because this is a JRPG.

: “Who’s that!?”

: “The Treasure’s talking!?”

: “The Holy Grail…”

: “Dammit! They’re worshipin’ that thing!”

: Yaldabaoth becomes a disco ball.

: Even with all those lights, it still can’t hit anyone.

: This time, we don’t even get past Makoto’s turn.

: “No… did it heal again…!? We can’t lose! Keep attacking!”

: Every time Yaldabaoth heals, it gets slightly lighter.

: Third round. A charged Hassou Tobi is enough to send it into heal mode.

: Fourth round. Ann and Makoto unleash their Concentrated fourth-tier spells.

: “No fair! This is cheating!”

: “If this is really how people feel, there’s no way we’ll be able to steal their hearts… we’ve come here for nothing…”

: “This is horrible…”

: This is a very common line uttered by YHVH in the main SMT games, usually after he’s been killed off.

: “Is this what everyone wants? To stop thinking and be guided by the Holy Grail?”

: What Joker’s saying is that while there are those who think that life leaves nothing left to chance and is an aimless dance directed by a host of holy horrors, he will choose a path that’s clear - he will choose free will… and Yusuke.

: “Yes… it’s so frustrating it makes me want to to cry… but I… I will never agree!”

: “The humans I look up to aren’t like that… no matter how painful reality is, it’s all over if you don’t try to change how things are! I’m not the only one who believes that! Everyone here agrees…”

: “We don’t want to turn back into the people we used to be! That’s why we risked our lives coming here!”

: “Mona-chan…”

: “He’s right!”

: “That’s a load of shit!”

: Ryuji’s right, if I got a full turn in any of those fights, Yaldabaoth would be dead.

: “Encroach? What is it gonna do!?”

: “Hey, this doesn’t look good!”

: “I’ve got a bad feeling about this…”

: “Mona! What should we do!?”

: “Humans aren’t all stupid like you say they are!”

: I’d believe it if it wasn’t Hashino saying it, because he thinks his viewers are fucking idiots.

: “Hell no…”

: The voice here is entirely synthetic, and there’s a good reason for that… which we’ll see next update.

: “Huh!? Who’s that!?”

: “N-No way… I see… so that’s how it was… I remember everything now…”

: “Is everyone okay!?”

: “Owww… of course we are!”

: “Oh! Hey, our clothes are back to normal!”

: “Look!”

: “We’re back!?”

: “We didn’t come back ourselves though… we must’ve been driven out by the Holy Grail.”

: “Did we lose?”

: “I know that, but…”

: It is a fucking CRIME that this didn’t happen way earlier in the game. This feels like Persona 1, and holy shit they could’ve done so much with this. Why the fuck didn’t they go with this instead of the palace fuckery?

: We’ve got Saya no fucking Uta going on here and it fucking rules! Why was this not the entire game!?

: “Huh? Tch, the hell is this? What’s going on!? Kaoru… Kaoru!”

: “Is this scenery… for real?”

: “What on earth!? This is impossible… why doesn’t anyone notice this!?”

: “Damn, looks like I should take this seriously…”

: “…! Oh no… something wrong’s happened to the world!”

: “What’s going on here!?”

: “Wh-what the hell is happening here?”

: “I hope those kids are safe…”

: They absolutely needed a scene where the rain of blood hits Sae and she turns into her shadow.

: “Everyone else isn’t seeing this?”

: You’ll notice that someone is conspicuously missing from this cutscene. Actually, TWO someones. There’s a good reason for that, believe it or not.

: I’m pretty sure smartphone sales were already starting to tank in 2016.

: “Why isn’t anyone noticing this abnormality?”

: “It’s probably because they don’t feel that it’s odd…”

: “Ooh… I feel… woozy… nngh…”

: The reason this is happening is fucking stupid.

: Okay, but… isn’t that just Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunnygirl Senpai, which has been around since 2014?

: The thing is, this makes no sense. There’s at least ten people other than the party who know they exist, plus the party knows that they exist.

: I call bullshit on this, the boss couldn’t even fucking land a hit. Joker should be taking maybe 1 damage from this.

: And now we know why Mishima changed the question.

: Well, that sucks. Next time, we’ll see the “Richter Mode” where you play as a party of Hifumi, Shinya, Iwai and Kawakami. Oh wait, that would be good game design. No, we’ll be seeing a bunch of bullshit cutscenes and another bad ending.