Summary
: I spent like 20 minutes grinding stamps in Mementos and got to 31/40 in Path of Da’at before I realized that the wiki is FUCKING WRONG!
: The criteria for fighting Jose is NOT having all the stamps. It’s having at least 123 stamps collected total. We had more than that before we even reached the expansion.
: There is a trophy for getting all the stamps and fuck you I’m not grinding it because it’s like wearing a badge that says “I’m a dipshit who spent hours pointlessly grinding Mementos for dumbass bullshit”.
: Anyway, if you go back to the Cognitive Control Room, Jose is there. He gives this big long speech about the nature of man that honestly I do not give a FUCK about. It’s like 50 textboxes long.
: At level 90, Jose is piss fucking easy. Here’s the trick. You spam Life Wall. That’s all you do.
: He opens with Drift, because Jose is the writers for Royal admitting that Yoko Taro is better than them. They’re mad they didn’t get Emil.
: Watch out motherfucker, here comes a special boy!
: I didn’t capture it, but it takes about half of Haru and Makoto’s health off. You do NOT want to bring Yusuke for this because Jose resists Physical.
: All of Jose’s other attacks are repackaged ma-dyne spells. You know what that means?
: It means that every time he attacks, he takes somewhere in the neighborhood of 500 to 600 damage, that’s what.
: The rest is basic - we have Joker use Thermopylae and Ann follow up with High Energy to get everyone Concentrated.
: Jose has more HP than the Reaper does, which is kinda bullshit because Tatsuya Sudou could kick this kid’s ass. He casts “Knife you in the fucking gut” and it does 9999 damage and you fucking die.
: Boing!
: Have a blessed day, motherfucker!
: Haru runs out of SP, so I have Joker use a Soma. I imagine him stuffing a stick of butter in her mouth and then she can cast spells again.
: Because Haru was out of SP, we went a turn without being able to cast Life Wall.
: It does basically nothing even when it hits.
: A turn later, Jose gets serious. He uses Launch, which is a setup for a big Almighty attack next turn. We can’t reflect that, because… I dunno.
: Unfortunately, we can’t use this full-party Concentrate because we have to guard.
: What the fuck is this, Paper fucking Mario?
: I accidentally didn’t dodge with Ann, but it doesn’t matter because she dodged it.
: Jose is watching as a drunk and overtired Makoto gives him the finger and then throws a beer bottle at him.
: Oh fuck!
: Ann once again proves her worth as the best party member in this game.
: “Good job all around. Sorry about that…”
: “Painfully well, hahaha… thanks to all of you, I-”
: “Ooh! Didja learn something new!?”
: “I’m pretty sure I understand humans less than ever!”
: “Wha…”
: “I was anticipating he’d say the exact opposite.”
: “Yeah, I was hoping things would end on a happy note here.”
: “Well, this is an issue…”
: “I’m sorry we couldn’t help you.”
: “Why are you sorry?”
: “Well, you did say you understand humans even less now, an’ all…”
: “That’s great news.”
: “Humans aren’t the easiest to comprehend. That’s why they can get lost and look for other people they trust. Sometimes, they even try to accomplish the impossible with those people…”
: “Like you all just tried to do for me. Now I’m sure that’s what it means to be a human. So, it’s impossible to learn everything about humans in such a short time. Although, it did make me realize just how much I love them!”
: “So our assistance.. was to your satisfaction?”
: And here’s the fucking throwaway “Haha guys we actually remember Persona 2” line that pisses me the fuck off. Yes, Jose is a fucking servant of Philemon.
: Why couldn’t they have given me a fucking scene where Philemon just fucking rolls up and is like “Pardon my idiot son” and then you beat the shit out of him?
: “Hey Jose, who’s this person you keep mentioning? And while we’re at it - who’re YOU?”
: “I’m Igor’s replacement because his voiceactor has been dead since Persona 4 and that’s kinda inconvenient for everyone!”
: “I… I am me. I’m Jose, a boy who got a little smarter, because I met all of you. No matter who we are, we’re always searching for our selves. Just remember, there are more folks observing humankind than you might realize.”
: Fuck you! That’s a fucking line from Persona 4’s opening! Fuck you! Persona 4 was at least an acceptable JRPG and not whatever this dumb bullshit is! Fuck! Shit!
: FUCK HASHINO! Fuck this game! Fuck everything!
: “I knew you would! Thank you again. I have something for you - to thank you for spending so much time with me. Here. Take this.”
: What’s this do? FUCKING NOTHING, that’s what it does.
: “Heheh… this is so interesting. Oh, humans… no wonder the others just can’t leave 'em be.”
: “Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?”
: “Don’t worry, it’s nothing. See ya, guys! Thank you so much! Oh, I hope you’ll still help me collect flowers, too. Off I go! Good job!”
: Jose died on the way back to his home planet.
: What the fuck is this, a 90s primetime sitcom? Anyway, that’s over and now I can go to bed.