Colors Flying High - Let's Play Persona 5 Royal

[Timrod]

Summary

: Let’s take a look at the bad endings. I had to use my base game saves for this rather than the Royal ones, because I accidentally deleted my 11/19 save while leaving the 11/20 save (which is after the bad ending).

: Just like in the canon route, Sae will ask Joker to strike a deal and will then read off the names of the party members. Now, let’s imagine that instead of Joker denying everything…

: Joker instead opts to sell out Makoto to save Yusuke, Ann, Haru and Futaba.

: The game will immediately notify you that you have fucked up and give you a chance to un-fuck.

: “…As I thought. You’ve made a wise choice. Thank you. I’ll do my best with what you’ve told me. I honestly expected you to have more of a backbone… it seems your reputation precedes you.”

: The camera will linger on Joker for a full fifteen seconds or so. Everything from here up until when Akechi shoots Joker is identical… except for a thought bubble where Joker says something like “Shit I fucked up” that I forgot to capture.

: This dialog is the same as the dialog we saw at the beginning of Update 101, when Joker woke up after being erased by Yaldabaoth… except…

: You may have fucked up, but at least you can wake up every morning, get out of bed, look in the mirror and go “At least I’m not Hashino.”

: So yeah, that’s not much of a bad ending. That’s because I had it confused for a different bad ending, which is the one that happens if you don’t defeat Shido in time.

: Of all the bad endings for not doing the palaces, Shido’s is really the only unique one… other than the expansion dungeon. All of the other “time out” bad endings are just the video of Akechi shooting Joker with a filter on the voice.

: Because I am far too lazy to sit through all that shit, I borrowed some footage from a small Youtuber going by SieffrePlays, who has somehow made it through Tales of Zestiria twice. He mostly uploads uncommentated playthroughs of JRPGs that are so bad even I couldn’t survive them.

: I was actually considering dunking on Tales of Zestiria because it’s laughably bad, but I don’t think I could sit through it. This is also from the base game.

: You can tell that Sieffre is a fucking chad because he picked the Akira Kurusu name. The video is dated in 2019 so he definitely could’ve picked Ren Amamiya.

: God dammit, Hashino.

: There are two more unique bad endings in the game, not counting the one I posted the video of for if you accept Yaldabaoth’s deal.

: One is for accepting a deal with the villain of the expansion content. The other is for failing to kill said villain. We’ll see those after we kill God.

[SpammyV]

How is Akechi supposed to be Yaldabaoth’s champion in this? Because he’s a detective? Is God about to start telling us how the people have fallen into sloth and indolence because they don’t solve mysteries for themselves but expect Columbo to do it for them by repeatedly asking humble questions?

[drcakey]

Have an extremely localized plot that balloons out at the end to encompass the fate of humanity has never been a good idea.

@SpammyV

How is Akechi supposed to be Yaldabaoth’s champion in this? Because he’s a detective? Is God about to start telling us how the people have fallen into sloth and indolence because they don’t solve mysteries for themselves but expect Columbo to do it for them by repeatedly asking humble questions?

“There’s just one thing that’s not clear ta me…” holds up entire Persona 5 script

@Timrod

: Is there even an afterlife in the SMT universe? I mean, other than becoming a ghost and telling the Demifiend to fuck off?

You cross the Sanzu River River Styx and reload from last save.

[Pizuz]

Is it possible to secure the route to Shido‘s treasure and still get a bad ending by failing to send the calling card in time? Is there a separate scene for this without Akechi?

[Timrod]

@Pizuz

Is it possible to secure the route to Shido‘s treasure and still get a bad ending by failing to send the calling card in time? Is there a separate scene for this without Akechi?

I don’t believe it’s possible - I think the game forces you to do the calling card bit in the same way it forces you to do the one for Sae, so if you’ve already cleared the path to the treasure by the deadline there’s no way to get the bad ending.

@SpammyV

How is Akechi supposed to be Yaldabaoth’s champion in this? Because he’s a detective? Is God about to start telling us how the people have fallen into sloth and indolence because they don’t solve mysteries for themselves but expect Columbo to do it for them by repeatedly asking humble questions?

Yaldabaoth never even mentions Akechi, which leads me to believe that either he’s only Yaldabaoth’s champion because he hates Joker (and not because Yaldabaoth actually chose him) or that Yaldabaoth trained him wrong on purpose as a joke.

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 102

: We’re finally here. The last boss of the base game.

: “Why do you mere humans still dare oppose me!?”

: “Stop acting like you’re some kinda god! You’re just a Treasure! Shut up and let us destroy you!”

: “Fools… do you still not understand? Your actions shall not save a single soul.”

: Wait… what was the point of Yaldabaoth continuing to appear as Igor here? They all know what it looks like.

: “What is that supposed to mean!?”

: “Are you saying… that’s you!?”

: “…And?”

: “We don’t let what others think hold us down anymore!”

: “That’s right!”

: Yaldabaoth starts by healing itself.

: “Our opponent knows that too though. It’ll try and stop us if we go straight for them! We’ll need to send someone in to cut the lines. Then while they’re out, everyone else will have to keep attacking to distract the Holy Grail!”

: “First, we must deal with those red supply lines.”

: I’m not sure what happens if you don’t send anyone.

: Yaldabaoth gains a new attack in the form of this big sweeping laser that hits everyone for Almighty damage.

: Anyway, you know the drill by now. Charge/Concentrate, Thermopylae, attack, repeat.

: This is a re-used animation from the Kamoshida fight that I forgot to include in the update where we fought him, because that’s the kind of quality you can expect from a Hashino game.

: Most people wouldn’t consider this to be that major, but I hate this because it makes it seem like the party hasn’t really grown since the Kamoshida fight. It makes sense for Ryuji to struggle to get up the pillar in the Kamoshida fight because at that point they’re a ragtag band of teenagers trying to fight their gym teacher.

: At this point though, Joker can do ridiculous acrobatic shit without even batting an eye. They should’ve changed it in Royal to have Yusuke (or whoever you send) grappling hook onto the thumb directly.

: Meanwhile, we hit what I’m pretty sure is the damage wall for this part of the fight.

: I mean sure, Yaldabaoth is a god, but Yusuke is a boyfriend carrying a sword made from the body of a 12th century Japanese warlord.

: How the hell is it that Yusuke can jump like, halfway across the room to hit the veins, but can’t clear that hand in one go?

: “It can’t heal itself anymore! This’ll be a head-to-head fight from now on! Take it down!”

: Yaldabaoth charges, and at this point I have to interact with game mechanics and guard. Fortunately, Futaba heals Ann for me - but even if she dies, we have plenty of revival items and three party members with Diarahan or better.

: It manages to hit Joker for 133 damage despite him guarding, having Lucifer up, and having the magic damage reduction from his armor.

: Thankfully, we have Mediarahan. No big deal. Not pictured: Yaldabaoth hitting Ann with one of its lasers for 300+ damage.

: Joker refreshes Thermopylae. He won’t get to make use of it.

: I wish hitting Level 80 was this easy in Persona 1 and Innocent Sin.

: I can’t get over how Yaldabaoth has jazz hands.

: Even in the final cutscene, they can’t get shit on model.

: Clearly, the animators hated their job about as much as I hate mine.

: Meet Yaldabaoth’s true form, or as I refer to it, G-Gundam. The G stands for Gnosticism.

: “This is crazy! It’s like a building!”

: “It was already huge back when it was the Holy Grail…”

: “You kiddin’!? This is just some kinda rigged game you started!”

: “That doesn’t mean humans are evil though!”

: “Bullshit! You’re just forcin’ your selfish ideas on people!”

: “For a god, you’re pretty damn prejudiced!”

: “If this is all for the sake of humanity, wouldn’t being beaten by humans satisfy you?”

: I don’t think it’s a masochist, Haru.

: “Ngh…”

: “Rgh… that thing’s on a totally different level!”

: “Can we defeat something like him?”

: “This is the best possible outcome! We’re fighting against a god who’s not holding anything back, right? What bigger target could there be for the Phantom Thieves to tackle?”

: “Although… it’s still way too big for my liking.”

: “All right, I’ll give the navigation everything I’ve got!”

: “We can do this if we all work together!”

: “Let’s take him down!”

: “Crowning our glory by defeating a god… now that is true art.”

: “We basically just gotta beat that thing, right!?”

: Like a lot of the bosses we’ve fought, we’re going to be straight up skipping a lot of phases. Yaldabaoth is extremely scripted for the first couple of turns.

: Yaldabaoth only has two attacks by itself - the first is Arrows of Light (which we saw in the first scripted fight before we entered the Vortex World Persona 1 Ripoff uh… Mementos Reality.

: On Yaldabaoth’s second turn, it grows a gun. The gun repels Gun and Wind but is neutral to everything else and has only 1500 HP.

: Oh no.

: Yusuke sees the rays of pure horny aimed at Joker and pushes him out of the way.

: Uh-oh. That can’t be good. Mechanically, all it does is disable whoever it hits for one turn. Psychologically, though…

: Yoshitsune fucking clowns on Yaldabaoth. This is an uncharged Hassou Tobi - a charged one will instantly wipe out the gun.

: If the gun is left alive, it will use both Distorted Lust and a second attack called Distorted Avarice that inflicts Hunger for one turn. It also has a re-named One Shot Kill and a gun attack called Shoot Up that hits three targets.

: Joker sounds the air horn, but it is too late. The horny is already too strong.

: The bell repels Fire and Psychic. Like the gun, it also has two status effects: Distorted Vanity (which renders one target weak to everything for a turn, like Madarame’s ability) and Distorted Envy, which… is actually a little weird.

: Distorted Envy inflicts a status effect called Jealousy, which is like Brainwash but will only cause the party member it hits to attack if a healing skill or buff is used on anyone but the person with Jealousy. I’m not sure how this works for multi-target spells.

: In addition, the bell can do a renamed Marakunda (defense down) and a renamed Marakaja (defense up) on Yaldabaoth and the other arms. It has a single-target attack that I’ve never seen it use.

: Joker kills the gun and brings the bell to low HP with another uncharged Hassou Tobi. No one else can do much - Yusuke is still horny, Ann can’t hit the bell due to it repelling fire, and Makoto spends the turn Concentrating.

: The sword is by far the most annoying of Yaldabaoth’s arms. It repels Physical, Gun and Electric (though it did not repel Gun in the base game, which is the only real change to this fight in Royal).

: This isn’t a big deal if you’re using Yoshitsune because Yoshitsune nulls physical.

: This is why we do not want to keep the sword up for very long. In addition to Distorted Gluttony, it also has both single-target and multi-target physical attacks. Fortunately, I don’t think it can keep using Distorted Gluttony - it stayed alive for a couple of turns and didn’t use it again.

: “Another one!? It looks like this is how his main body attacks… he may keep switching up his moves! Let’s be careful!”

: Joker spends the HP to Hassou Tobi anyway, killing off the bell and bringing Yaldabaoth to half HP. Looking back, I probably should’ve taken the time to charge because it would’ve killed off the main body faster.

: The book repels Ice and Nuclear, and is Yaldabaoth’s main form of attack. It has access to all third-tier spells and will attempt to use them to hit weaknesses.

: It also has an attack we won’t be seeing called Distorted Pride, which causes it to go into a counter stance for one turn. Hitting it in counter stance causes it to retaliate by draining the attacker’s SP.

: Instead, it will always use Distorted Wrath. This is a mistake on its part - Distorted Wrath is your typical “berserk” status effect that raises damage but lowers defense.

: Ann is Concentrated, and Futaba gives us a full-party attack buff. Watch this shit.

: Joker uses Hassou Tobi again, nearly killing off the book in one go despite not having a charge.

: Meanwhile, Ann completely fucks up the book and sword and brings the main body down to under a quarter of its max HP. This triggers Yaldabaoth’s final phase. None of the arms got more than the one turn they’re guaranteed to get when they first spawn.

: Once all the arms are dead, Yaldabaoth revives them to max HP.

: At this point, Yaldabaoth will cancel all of its other attacks and only use Divine Apex, followed two turns later by Rays of Control until the fight ends.

: I’m not sure if it’s possible to cancel the attack by destroying all the arms, but we come pretty close.

: I have Yusuke sacrifice himself, because his best physical skill is multi-target. If you charge it, it’s basically a mini Hassou Tobi.

: We have one turn until Rays of Control, but Yaldabaoth is very low on HP so I go for another Hassou Tobi.

: This really shouldn’t be any surprise to anyone given that this is exactly what happens in Persona 4.

: “If you’re really a god, you should be guiding humans to your ideals! You’re destroying them because you can’t do that, aren’t you? So that you can flaunt your own existence.”

: “Flaunt your own existence” is probably the most dumb anime bullshit phrase I’ve read this week. What’s funny is that when I was going through Youtube videos to do that bad ending update, there were people INSISTING that “The Japanese script is totally better, you guys! It’s the localizers’ fault!”

: “That’s why you were observing us! You had to because the reaction of the ‘masses’ worried you!”

: “That sounds about right.”

: “I don’t know how long you’ve lived, but you’re the perfect example of a pain-in-the-ass old man!”

: “You find people like that everywhere.”

: “Dammit, I can’t see anything!”

: “Do you want to erase us from this world that much!?”

: “G-Guys!”

: Are you ready for the game to do the dumbest, most shounen battle anime ass bullshit yet?

: “If we lose… the world is…”

: “I need to… get back up…”

: “I can’t… go on…”

: “Is this it?”

: You can hear people chanting something in the background, but it’s in Japanese and not subtitled and I am not putting on the godawful fuckshit English dub.

: If you’d like a concise version of Yaldabaoth’s bullshit, you can find it here. It’s even set to music.

: “Human hope is a desire too! You better not underestimate it! The Phantom Thieves will yield to no one, no matter who they are! Even if only one of us remains, we’ll get back up and fight to the very end.”

: “And we’ll definitely… definitely… take the world!”

: Oh no, it’s a Golden Alpac- wait a second, Yaldabaoth really is just the fucking Golden Alpaca. He’s what happens if you shove the LEMONADE version and the remade version together.

: You might be asking “Wait, doesn’t this mean everyone now knows that Morgana can talk?” and the answer is no because this ending is a self-retcon.

: Remember the end of Okami? Those were better times, even though I know Okami was not the first thing to do this.

: Mishima looking around like “Wait… am I really the dipshit here?”

: This shot looks like a YIIK cutscene with a higher budget behind it.

: Mishima’s model was not meant to do any of the things it is currently doing.

: “…I sure am. Is the same true for you too?”

: You could’ve just done “Are you, too?”

: “Pretty much. Looks like it’s not just us though.”

: I swear this game needs a fucking Richter mode. Also, I’m pretty sure if I was ever on a giant sky pedestal attempting to kill God and had everyone I know cheering me on I would in fact die of fucking embarrassment.

: See, back when I was in high school, we killed God in private. It was the meta at the time - you’d lure God behind the gym and then stab him before he could go full on end boss.

: Yoshida here reminds me a lot of when you see senators in the US questioning tech executives over shit they do not fucking understand. You know, your Ted Wheeler “Series of Tubes” speech.

: If there was a Richter mode, Shinya’s thing would absolutely be climbing Yaldabaoth and stealing the gun. Would it shrink? Fuck no, he’d just use it as-is because he’s like 12 and still has full anime protagonist power to wield weapons bigger than he is.

: “It’s you guys’ fault I don’t know when to quit either. Get back up! Don’t lose to that thing!”

: “No matter what anyone says, I believe in you guys! Go for it, Phantom Thieves!”

: Sae’s ultimate attack in Richter Mode would be asking questions so stupid and irrelevant that they drain the enemy’s HP and SP. She’d basically be Daisoujou from Nocturne.

: “No one wants you to rule over them! Isn’t that right, Akira!?”

: “I’ve made up my mind. I will see my justice through for the sake of protecting what I care about.”

: Oh boy, more anime gibberish.

: “Morgana…”

: “…The same goes for you guys too! If you’ve decided to take the world from him, don’t compromise your ideals to the very end!”

: “Let’s defeat him together!”

: They’re praying for this LP to be over so I can go to… actually, I’m not so sure. I might do Soul Hackers but four SMT games in a row is a bit much.

: “They’re prayin’ there’s no place for someone like you in this world!”

: “Give that evil god his final warning, Akira!”

: “You messed with the wrong John Persona!”

: If I had the skills to do so, I would’ve photoshopped “Has this boss fight gone on too long?” over the poll question. I do not.

New Persona: Satanael

Origin: Gnosticism

First Appearance: Soul Hackers

Satanael is essentially the Gnostic version of Lucifer - he’s the angelic form of Satan prior to his rebellion against God. This version is based on a Gnostic tradition in which he was a servant of Yaldabaoth before realizing that Yaldabaoth was not the true God and rebelling against him, granting humanity knowledge that would allow them to end Yaldabaoth’s rule.

: Satanael is Joker’s ultimate Persona, and is only fusable in New Game Plus… meaning he shows up here, and then fucks off forever. He is a special fusion of Arsene, Anzu, Ishtar, Satan, Lucifer and Michael.

: He starts with a trait that is effectively Everything Amp, and gains Tyrant’s Mind (which is Everything Boost). The only downside is that he doesn’t learn Morning Star.

: As a Persona, Satanel is kind of mediocre - especially when compared to Izanagi no Okami. He’s basically Lucifer with better resistances and Victory Cry.

: The only reason to fuse him is for the Caroline and Justine/Lavenza superbosses, and for Joker’s ultimate melee weapon - though again, when are we ever going to use a basic physical attack?

: “Man, it’s huge!”

: “What an immense power…! No way… is it a Persona…?”

: There’s one input left in the base game.

: “What better way is there for a finale as a Trickster! Joker, we’re entrusting our strength and the people’s hopes to you! Put an end to this!”

: I mean, I dunno, maybe ending the boss fight when we did nothing but spam Hassou Tobi until Yaldabaoth died?

: Oh, come on! I could win this without even using Satanael!

: Joker has given up on his big flashy anime gun made from Lucifer and opts for the ultimate weapon: the legendary Deagle-Brand Deagle.

: I’m pretty sure the rifle model that Satanel uses in this cutscene was reworked into Kasumi’s gun.

: “Ain’t that a Treasure? Right, Mona?”

: “Thanks for everything, gang.”

: “Mona-chan?”

: “Mona?”

: “Hey…”

: “Thanks to you guys, I was able to complete my duty…”

: “Everything was thanks to you, wasn’t it, Morgana?”

: “I got to be useful for humans that I admired so much. Nothing could make me happier. This place will soon disappear too…”

: “What is this?”

: It’d be neat if the end was “Yeah so even though we killed God that doesn’t make the giant bones everywhere or the several feet of weird watery blood in the streets go away.”

: Man, the hospitals are gonna be FULL of people with horrible glass cuts.

: YIIK never happened. YIIK never happened. YIIK never happened. The Allansons fell into obscurity after how bad Two Brothers did. There never was a Ni no Kuni 2 because Fred left to become the CEO of a major anime studio…

: God dammit, it’s not working!

: Why is it that this is the only cutscene where the animators could be bothered to make it on-model? Also I love the way Haru puts her mask on top of her hat. That shit’s gonna stay put for maybe ten seconds tops.

: I missed a capture here, so I’ll just put it in myself.

: “Soon, a new world will come.”

: Somewhere in the ruins of Sumaru City, Tatsuya calls bullshit.

: He’s going to get a contract with whoever it is that makes Pretty Cure to be the next season’s magical pet.

: Morgana died on the way back to his home planet.

: “Mona…”

: “The Meta-Nav… it’s gone… Mementos must have disappeared too…”

: Remember this line for… actually, probably the next update. I haven’t really seen much of the expansion dungeon.

: “We can’t see Mona anymore… can we?”

: “It’s fine. I already know the answer.”

: “What’re you all so gloomy for? Mona would laugh at us for it…”

: “That reminds me, what about the public? Were we able to change their hearts?”

: “It’s kinda hard to tell.”

: “I wonder how things will go… I hope they go well…”

: “Let’s believe in the adults. Sis promised us, after all.”

: “From here on out’s the prosecutor’s job, huh…”

: “If we can’t enter the Metaverse, that means we’ve been relieved of being Phantom Thieves.”

: “It feels a bit sad…”

: “What’d I just say? We gotta stop bein’ so gloomy! Think about that insane ass we just kicked!”

: “You’re right… we should be celebrating with a victory toast.”

: “Well, we’re still high schoolers, so we can’t really drink a real toast…”

: “Oh, what if we tried something else? Like, what do athletes do after a win?”

: Haru: “What if we tried bribing the police to not enforce underage drinking laws?”

: “You mean a huddle? We could all circle up and give a victory shout together.”

: “Sounds good - except for the part where we’re in the dead center of Shibuya, surrounded by tons of people.”

: “What!? You wanna do it here an’ now!?”

: “C’mon, Ryuji, get with the program.”

: “I too am disappointed. After all we’ve been through together, you’ve nothing left to lose with this.”

: Except dignity.

: “Hey, speak for yourself! I’ve got tons of shit I could lose! Fine… let’s get this over with. Everyone, put your hands in!”

: “Yeah, uh, can we hurry this up? I don’t mind yelling, so long as we make it quick.”

: “Well, this celebration’s going great… whatever. Joker, you lead off with this.”

: “No way!? Only the leader can do this kinda stuff right! When he gives our victory cry, we all follow with a super-loud ‘Yeah!’ got it? Alright… one… two…”

: “You may be right there. The more I think about it, the more pressure I realize we were really under. I hope we can relax at least a little now.”

: “…Brr, it’s chilly!”

: “No wonder it’s cold.”

: “Is this what they call a white Christmas?”

: “It’s still Christmas Eve.”

: “Christmas… I completely forgot about it…”

: “Anyhow, we’ll have to see what happens for now. We should probably break for today. Let’s meet at Leblanc tomorrow, and have a final meeting on the situation.”

: “Yeah, let’s do that.”

: “…Hey! It’ll be Christmas, so why don’t we do a last celebration party!?”

: “I like the sound of that! There better not be anyone that’s got plans already!”

: “It’s settled then!”

: “Make sure you persuade Boss to let us reserve the store for the party.”

: I’m not sure if Sojiro still remembers the whole God thing or not. Probably going to lean no on that.

: “We will be counting on you. Well then, see you all again tomorrow.”

: And that’s that. This is where I turned the game off and dropped it when I did the base game. There’s still a little more of 12/24, but this update’s already pretty long… you know what, let’s keep going. Just for a little bit.

: “…Can I talk to you for a minute? First off, thank you for taking my request. With your actions, I can only hope that public opinion changes… it will change, won’t it?”

: “…True. It was social reform on a scale no one has ever accomplished before. But I believe that it will. Shido confessed to a variety of crimes. We can arrest him on those charges.”

: “…The problem lies in proving him guilty. It’d be difficult unless the correlation between the Metaverse and the mental shutdowns is made. …I’ll be blunt.”

: Wait, WHAT!? How the fuck does that make any kind of sense? Even if Joker testified, the Metaverse is gone! What’s he going to do, pull out his phone and say “Yeah the Metaverse was right here?”

: But yeah, this is what I mean when I say the ending is a self-retcon. Logically, thousands of people just saw giant pillars of bone and a fuckhuge Gnostic battlemech come out of the ground. Some of them even fucking died… though presumably Igor saved them.

: I’m picturing thousands of people in the Velvet Jail lined up in front of Igor’s desk and spilling out the prison door into Mementos. Igor has a basket with a sign reading “Free Pixies, please take one”.

: Here’s what I’m realizing about this. One of two things is now true: either going after Shido was fucking pointless, or going after Yaldabaoth was fucking pointless.

: If the entire time, Sae could have ended this by arresting Joker and charging him with being John Persona, wouldn’t that have broken Yaldabaoth’s plan in two? His entire plan hinged on Shido getting away with everything.

: On the other hand, if defeating Yaldabaoth means that Sae still needs to ruin Joker’s life… doesn’t that mean that going after Yaldabaoth was pointless? Wouldn’t it have been better to break his plan that way and then hope that he fucks off without them having to fight?

: “That will mean placing you on center stage. You’ll be treated as a hero who saved this country… but there’s no way the police or the public prosecutors will let that slide. If you turn yourself into the police, you’ll definitely be arrested.”

: “I’ll close all the cases surrounding Shido. I intend to expose them all. It’s to prevent society from becoming distorted again. That’s what you want too, isn’t it?”

: We’ll see this later, but this is how the base game ends. Joker goes to jail, and there’s a cutscene where all of the confidants you’ve reached Rank 10 with try and get him out. I have to wonder how they’re going to make this work, considering Joker is in jail for the entirety of January…

: “I’ll ask you once more. I’d like for you to turn yourself in to the police, of your own accord.”

: The correct answer here would be “Fuck right off. You caused this, fix it yourself.” Anyway, let’s get on to the Christmas date! There’s a special Christmas Yusu-Gay coming up in the next update. Oh, and I’ll put up a vote for who we should date for the main update.

: What. What the fuck is that. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?

: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FUCKING SHARK-JUMPING BULLSHIT!?

: WHY THE FUCK IS HE ALIVE!? THIS WAS THE ONE FUCKING THING THEY DIDN’T COP OUT ON IN THE BASE GAME!

: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT FUCK THIS SHIT! THIS IS NI NO KUNI 2! THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT THIS IS! DEATH IS A VERY PERMANENT AND SERIOUS THING? NAH!

: FUUUUUUUUUUCK! So yeah, remember when I said I fucking hate Akechi? THIS IS WHY! Welcome to Royal, a game that was designed entirely by a fucking focus group.

: Let me just post this. This was a popularity poll that was done by Sony in September 2020 for Persona 5’s fifth anniversary. It surveyed 48,139 people.

: Even five years after release, Akechi ranks above every other party member except Makoto… and he’s only in the game for one dungeon before he fucking dies!

: As I’ve explained before, Akechi gets this level of votes because of the BL crowd. They want gay representation and they want Akechi to be Joker’s “cute gay pancake boyfriend” as I saw one person put it. I can’t really blame them - it’s not their fault that the game has no gay representation but has two gay-coded characters.

: Now, there’s ways the writers for Royal could have approached this. They could’ve put in some gay representation - the way I did. They could have re-written Akechi and put in a new villain who wouldn’t be as popular with the BL crowd. I mean hell, Kasumi’s dateable and she’s only in one dungeon.

: But what did they do? They went with the worst possible option! It’s fucking stupid! They had to call Akechi’s VA back anyway! With the bare fucking minimum of effort, they could have made this work! But no, can’t be helped! Fuck!

: You know what? Fuck this, I’m calling this an update. Next time, we get to watch the writers for Royal shit their pants as hard as Hashino did. I’ll put up a poll for the Christmas date and the Christmas Yusu-Gay by Salty Vanilla.

[Timrod]

Summary

: “Oh wow, they still have a Christmas cake! Do you want to get it?”

: “That cake… Akira, that’s over ten thousand yen! Surely, neither of us have the money!”

: “Heh. Watch this. Hi, can I get that last cake? I’ll pay whatever you want for it! No price is too high for my boyfriend!”

: “Akira, please…”

: “Ten thousand yen is nothing anyway. I can make that in two minutes having Mara do donuts in his chariot in Mementos. Can we get that wrapped to go?”

: “Where are we going to take such an enormous cake? My dorm doesn’t have a refrigerator big enough to hold that.”

: Joker grips Yusuke’s hand.

: “We’ll bring it to my place. Just you and me… in my room… no one around to bother us…”

[Timrod]

I just noticed the poll didn’t post, so here it is.

Who do we date second (after Yusuke)?

• Ann
• Futaba
• Haru
• Hifumi
• Makoto
• Chihaya
• Kawakami
• Tae
• Ohya

[SpammyV]

Elite Beat Agents did it. Chroma Squad did it. Actually Chroma Squad is probably my favorite implementation of this ending. But the fact that Yaldabaoth doesn’t shut up after getting shot in the face robs this of some punch. It’s even funnier to me after just finishing No More Heroes 3 and the first boss winds up in the same giant-cannon-to-the-face position, Travis finally just shoots him to cut him off from rambling for another five minutes.

Also not to beat a dead horse but I’m even more puzzled how Akechi and Joker are supposed to be opposites here. If anything it seems like it should’ve just been Shido that’s god’s representative here considering how happy everyone was just to let Shido have the government. Like sure Akechi was helping Shido, but only to blackmail and/or kill him. I should probably stop trying to discern the meaning from this plot.

[drcakey]

@Timrod

: Remember the end of Okami? Those were better times, even though I know Okami was not the first thing to do this.

@SpammyV

Elite Beat Agents did it. Chroma Squad did it.

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door (and Super Paper Mario) did it. And of course, Earthbound Did It First (I think).

Well, anyway:

• Reset ~ “Thank You” version
• We’re Counting On You, Mario!

@Timrod

Literal actual Dirge of Cerberus is happening now.

@Timrod

I thought the Phantom Thieves didn’t care if they were rejected by society? Or was that just Final Boss Phase 1 talk?

@Timrod

: He’s going to get a contract with whoever it is that makes Pretty Cure to be the next season’s magical pet.

Toei. It’s Toei. Precure airs right after (or before?) Super Sentai and Kamen Rider. Or at least it did like 5 years ago.

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 103

: God dammit! Fuck! Shut up! Fuck! Go back to being dead!

: “To think I’d get to see you so surprised… honestly, it’s pretty satisfying.”

: Okay… let’s see. There has to be a reason for this other than “We bought back Akechi because fangirls”. Maybe it’s like Interstellar where that lady hallucinates George Clooney being alive.

: “You said, ‘there’s no need’… just what do you mean by that?”

: “Exactly as it sounds. I’ll agree to testify against Shido and his crimes. I assume that works for you?”

: Any minute now, Sae’s going to look at Joker and go “Who are you talking to? There’s nobody there.”

: “That’s right. I have no hidden agenda at this point. If I had to explain myself, I’d say it’s simply personal principle that I repay my debts.”

: “For the time being at least, I’ll take your word that you’ll cooperate with the investigation.”

: “That would save a lot of time.”

: “I’m sorry… you can forget everything I just told you. I’ll take him in myself.”

: Okay, she just talked to Akechi and acknowledged his existence. New theory: when Mementos was merged with reality, Igor implanted a fake Akechi into Sae’s head that’s just good enough to testify before vanishing.

: That’d go great with the whole “the world is a cognition” bit and would make the end of the casino feel like less of an ass pull. And here I underestimated the writers for Royal thinking they’d bring Akechi back purely based on his popularity with the Japanese fanbase. It’s not like they’d change the entire plot based on a focus group. Nobody could be THAT dumb.

: We get messages from every possible love interest that we’ve maxed out.

: In addition to these nine options, there’s a hidden tenth option which only appears as a failsafe if you are not dating anyone. Unfortunately, you can’t select it if you meet the criteria for any of the other possible scenes… and as it turns out, I did in fact date Haru in the base game so I can’t use that save file. I completely forgot about that.

: Anyway, it looks like Tae won the poll, so we’ll do her date for this update. The rest of them will be posted under the “Alternate Scenes” header.

: Tae’s fashion sense is like that one zombie from Chainsaw Man who has so many thoughts that the only thing she can think of is Halloween.

: “Anyway, thanks for coming. Were you hoping to see me today?”

: “Aren’t you straightforward? Well, then I can be honest too: I’m glad to hear it. So what happens after this? If you don’t have anything in mind, we can go out to eat. Don’t worry, no experiments today.”

: “Cool. Let’s go. Oh, but first… this usually isn’t my style, but it’s Christmas, so… would you like to hold hands?”

: Whoa there! That’s WAY too lewd for a second date! It’d be one thing if you put a collar around Joker’s neck and suddenly it’s BDSM-o-clock, but holding hands!? Can we even show that? That’s practically illegal!

: Holy fuck! I’m calling the goddamn FCC! You can’t show that! He’s underage! I need an adult!

: “Didn’t think all the restaurants would be totally booked…”

: “…Where do you learn these lines? Cake first, though, right? Once we’ve got that, you can feed me all the cheesy schlock you want. Let’s go look for one.”

: “You wouldn’t happen to have any Christmas cakes left, would you?”

: “What?”

: “Well, in that case… we’d like to buy it.”

: “Can you believe that?”

: “Slow down. We’ll get to enjoy it soon. Just the two of us.”

: Joker: “Are you still talking about the cake?”

: “Maybe we should do this more often. How about you? Having fun?”

: “Wow. I didn’t know you were so worked up over it. Well, maybe I can make this a little more exciting.”

: Each of the possible Christmas dates (except the one for not having a date, which would actually be really useful if it existed) gives you an item that carries over to New Game Plus.

: These items give a boost to the amount of confidant points earned during a confidant event with the corresponding character. Because equipment carries over, Tae isn’t a great choice for this.

: The best choice here is Haru. This is because at the end of the game, you get an item from every non-auto confidant you’ve maxed out that gives you all of their abilities as soon as you unlock Rank 1 in NG+.

: The exceptions are the party members, who only carry over their passive abilities - they don’t carry over any of their combat abilities (Harisen Recovery, Endure) or their second Persona.

: “Here’s your present. Not handmade or anything, okay? Just do you know this wasn’t some huge labor of love.”

: “You can be pretty sweet sometimes. …Hmm…”

: “Got a chill down your spine? You had cream on your nose. No idea how it got there, but…”

: Yusuke wouldn’t need to do this because he and Joker don’t need excuses to be intimate.

: “As far as your other identity goes… I figure it’s not my business. But as long as we’re making this work somehow, I might as well say this. I can at least tell how much you and the other Phantom Thieves go through to save people.”

: The whole thing with Yaldabaoth has already self-retconned.

: “I am your girlfriend, after all. I just wanted to acknowledge that… it’s thanks to those efforts that I found my own calling. …I really am glad I’ve got you.”

: “Still, I gotta say… you’ve got some weird taste. People talk, but what it comes down to is that the Phantom Thieves are these big modern heroes, right? Never really thought of myself as girlfriend material, let alone for a hero.”

: “All right already. Bring it down a notch, smooth talker. Who are you trying to impress? Whoa, look…”

: Who does this? Who sees snow and goes “Let’s open the window!”

: “I never fell for this stuff. All the snowfall, the romance… I’m not exactly the swooning type. …Didn’t think I was, anyway. Geez. I’m supposed to be the adult here, but you’re the one who keeps supporting me.”

: “How about you? It’s… good, right? I feel like… I’m going to wake up any second now, and all this will be gone.”

: It’s funny because… well, you’ll see.

: “You’re right. Maybe everything can just be nice for once.”

: Oh no, a recording block! Whatever will I do? How will I show off how fucking stupid the expansion content is!?

: This is the point where the “Where Persona 5 Ends” and “A World Without Pain” routes are going to diverge. Technically, the divergence happens when Akechi comes back, but the first major changes start here.

: “He turned himself in to the police. Sis told me yesterday. He’s admitted to being the perpetrator behind the recent cases.”

: “So he’s alive…”

: “Akechi-kun survived and owned up to what he did…”

: “Well, I feel it’s for the best. If Akechi-kun is alive, and he can atone for his crimes… that’s not a bad turn of events.”

: It’s like they’re retconning the fact that Akechi killed her father and Futaba’s mother, because Persona started with Persona 3 and Akechi has always been the soft gay pancake boyfriend.

: “Right. Ain’t that all stuff to be happy about?”

: “Mmhm. It’s Christmas. We should enjoy the day to our hearts’ content.”

: “I approve. Let everyone be merry to the max!”

: “I’m the one who should be giving permission, you know. Well, as long as you don’t go overboard, I guess you can go ahead and cut loose today.”

: “…He didn’t hear a word of that. Eh, fine.”

: “Oh my! This is quite the sight. …I’m going to be entirely honest: I wasn’t able to bring a dish. Instead, leave the dishwashing duties to me. I’ll make sure they turn out beautifully immaculate.”

: Joker and Yusuke can tell no one they bought the giant boyfriend cake.

: “Hmm… why don’t we all just clean up together?”

: “So, who brought what?”

: “I brought that marinated seafood.”

: “Mmm! That’s super good!”

: “It may not be to everyone’s tastes, but I brought that cheese plate.”

: “Whoa! It smells like dirty socks… ohhh! But it tastes great!”

: “Thank goodness. Oh, is this a croquembouche? It’s so cute!”

: “All I did was buy some cream puffs and stack them up, though.”

: “It’s been arranged so artistically that I hesitate to sample it. When it comes to sweets, Ann truly has us beat.”

: When I saw this line in recording, I went “What are the chances of Akechi walking through the door and going ‘Hi, it’s me, Akechi! I brought them!’ like it’s a fucking 90s sitcom?” and was very ready for the possibility I’d have to cut recording there and have the rest of the update being me screaming “FUCK” again.

: “Uhhhh… me… kinda?”

: “Ryuji… brought sweets…”

: “Ryuji and sweets…”

: “Sweets…”

: “Hey! What’re you guys gettin’ at?”

: This is anime, so of course boys can’t enjoy sweet things.

: “I had expected something along the lines of meat… for some reason, chicken comes to mind when I think of you.”

: KFC is a huge thing in Japan on Christmas.

: “Ryuji… chicken…”

: “U-um, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean that in any kind of comparative way.”

: “Please, don’t keep going… it just hurts even more…”

: “Did you hear what I just said?”

: “C’mon, don’t get all depressed. Everyone’s here to party!”

: “Everyone…”

: “Oh…”

: “Mona-chan…”

: “I was trying my best not to mention it, but it’s hard to avoid.”

: I know what you’re thinking, and the answer is yes.

: “Yeah, we were just talkin’ about- HUH!?”

: “Wait… what? No way! I thought you disappeared!”

: “Looks like the only me that disappeared was the one in the Metaverse.”

: “So… you stayed in reality as a cat?”

: SMART GIRL moment.

: “When I woke up, I was out in Shibuya looking like this. I headed back here right away, but it took a surprising amount of time.”

: “If you were coming back here, you should’ve told us, moron!”

: What was he supposed to do, use his cell phone?

: “We were so worried!”

: “Sheesh… well, I’ve brought my own surprise back too. I brought some fried chicken. This doesn’t have anything to do with your conversation earlier, though. Any room left on the table?”

: “Oooh! Now there’s our chief for ya!”

: They should have used this portrait for Morgana even in dungeons. It’d probably make me hate him less. Hell, they should’ve gone all the way and made him a cat when he’s in the party.

: “Talk about everything falling into place…”

: “Things are finally back to normal.”

: “…Family, huh? So I’m basically your older brother, right?”

: “Futaba… that’s right. Tonight’s supposed to be a celebration… I’m glad I could be a part of it. I know I already said it, but… thanks, everyone. I’m glad I got to come back to you.”

: Now that it’s over, let me tell you something about that last scene. It’s actually recycled from the base game - the difference is that in the base game, it happens in February. They even recycled some of the dialog.

: In fact, let’s talk about what happens in the base game. In the base game, Joker turns himself in sometime in the early hours of Christmas morning. He spends Christmas being interrogated, and then is subsequently tried and put in prison.

: This event in the base game is the party meeting up to figure out how to get him out of prison.

: This is another thing that doesn’t happen in the base game, which skips from the 25th to the 31st.

: She sure helped him out in that one fight against an enemy Joker could’ve instakilled, and… wait, why does it feel like they forgot something?

: “A year-end party, huh? I’m already excited! Oh, let’s invite Yoshizawa right away!”

: What. What the fuck is that scarf. Joker, why are you letting your boyfriend wear that?

: “Yeah! You really helped Akira out, too.”

: “In that case, I’ll accept your offer.”

: “Yo, I really can’t stop starin’ at that thing you’re wearing.”

: “Heh… so it’s caught your eye as well. It happened to catch mine while I was strolling through the city. I bought it for myself as a reward for the end of the year. What do you think? About the scarf.”

: I was torn here between option one and option three: on the one hand, Joker wants to get that scarf off Yusuke ASAP, but on the other he also wants to gently prod Yusuke into wearing something more tasteful.

: The only reason Joker doesn’t pick option three is that he’s terrified that one day Yusuke will burst into Leblanc carrying a handmade scarf.

: “Thank you. Your compliment is music to my ears.”

: “I don’t think anyone other than you could pull it off, Kitagawa-senpai.”

: “This fashion chat is fine and all, but if you don’t dig into that soba soon, it’s gonna get soggy on you.”

: “It’s chow time!”

: “Mmm! So good!”

: “Sakura-san, you made these noodles yourself, right? They’re amazing! You could open a soba restaurant!”

: “Aw, thanks. I made a little too much, so if anyone wants a refill-”

: “Seconds please!”

: “How fast do you eat!?”

: “You eat a lot more than I’d assumed you do, Yoshizawa-san.”

: “Seriously? While being that thin!?”

: “Kurusu-senpai, don’t kid them so much. My appetite’s totally normal.”

: “It’s finally happening…”

: “I was planning on telling you all about this a little later. This case is all thanks to a certain man’s testimony. But, I can at least share this one piece of good news with you.”

: “And that would be…?”

: “The woman involved in Kurusu-kun’s false charge case has finally come forward and provided her testimony. I can’t say for certain yet… but his criminal record may very well be overturned.”

: “For real!?”

: “That’s wonderful!”

: “Congratulations, Senpai!”

: “Of course, this is highly confidential, got it?”

: “What great news, Akira. Looks like we really will be having a happy new year.”

: Ironic when in the base game, Joker is in prison at this point. He doesn’t get out until February.

: “This is incredible! It’s an actual, real-life good ending!”

: “I’ve been seeing this guy on TV all the time lately.”

: “Oh yeah, he’s a model-turned-actor. With a figure like that, I can see how he’s gotten so popular.”

: This guy is in… I think Shibuya, but it might be Shinjuku, throughout the game. He usually complains that he can’t break into acting.

: “So, he’s popular, eh? If I were more like that human, maybe Lady Ann would…”

: “Now that I’m thinkin’ about it, a helluva lot sure did happen this year.”

: “Right? It’s like, how many years of our lives did we actually live through this year?”

: “I doubt we’ll experience anything even similar to it for quite some time.”

: “Well, this is just from my point of view, but I really hope that’s the case.”

: “Then I guess starting next year, we’ll just be good boys and girls at school.”

: “If that’s the case, then I assume you’ll be able to handle your summer break homework on your own - right?”

: “Please don’t go there, Senpai…”

: “So much has happened over the past twelve months. But in the end, we got to spend it together like this. I wanna believe that this was a great year for us.”

: “Yeah. I don’t have any proof, but I feel like next year’s gonna be even better for us.”

: So what you’re saying is that it’s been a long December, and there’s reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last? I think I already used that song but this LP has been going on so long that I have forgotten if I actually did.

: I also am just now finding out that Counting Crows had more than one album, which goes against my belief that they put out A Long December and then on January 1st, 1997 walked out into the morning sun and were immediately vaporized.

: “I feel the exact same way! How strange…”

: “Well, that’s only natural, considering how pleased we are with our end-of-year celebration.”

: “I really don’t want to get going, but it seems like it’s time.”

: “See ya next year, right?”

: “Next year… Sojiro! Osechi time! Get those New Year’s dishes ready, chop chop! And don’t forget the black beans!”

: Osechi is a New Year’s thing in Japan that comes in this a tiered box kind of like a giant bento. It has a number of different foods in it, but there’s one in the Wikipedia article for it that makes me wish this was a thing in the US.

: This is a thing they need to adapt immediately in Connecticut, only the top box is just the lobster, cooked and ready, with all the other stuff replaced by butter and lobster sauce. Maybe some lemon wedges too.

: The second tier is a second lobster, and the third tier has… a third lobster. You know what, just skip the box and give me the three lobsters and the sauces so I can maximize my lobster intake.

: “Yeah, yeah, I hear ya. If I start prepping the beans now, they’ll be ready by the morning. Don’t worry about the food, you just go have a good night’s sleep.”

: I made dorayaki once. Nothing like going “Shit, time for bed, also time to soak the beans.”

: “Hey, Akira - don’t tell this to the others, okay? But, even after I disappeared, I was still vaguely conscious… and being separated from all of you was… really scary.”

: “I thought, if it’s even a little bit possible, I wanted to come home to you guys… that’s why I’m so glad I was able to come back here.”

: “Yeah, thanks. Well, it’s pretty late. Let’s get to sleep. I know I’ve said this before, but I hope we keep sticking together like this, Akira.”

: Shit, that’s a one-way ticket to a stiff neck in the morning.

: It should be obvious where Joker is. We spent ten confidant ranks in here. This is Maruki’s office.

: The voice here plays twice and is distorted the second time.

:Joker moves at a plodding pace, and you can hear voices in Japanese playing in the background. Some of them definitely belong to Haru and Ann, and I think one belongs to Futaba but it’s hard to make out.

: “Were you still asleep, Kurusu-senpai?”

: “I was just guessing, but I suppose you did sound a bit sleepy, too. Remember promising me that we’d go pay our respects to the shrine together on New Year’s Day?”

: “Great! Well, today’s the day, if you want to keep that promise… I realize this may be a bit forward of me, but… what do you say to accompanying me to Meiji Shrine this afternoon?”

: “Really? Great, thank you! It’ll probably be pretty crowded today, but it oughtn’t be too bad in the afternoon, at least.”

: giggle “I must agree. I’ll make sure to pray to the gods that it won’t be so crowded! Oh, shoot… I hope that doesn’t count as me wishing before making my offering.”

: “Heeey, you up yet?”

: “Well, let’s meet at the shrine around noon. I’ll see you then!”

: “If you’re awake, could you lend me a hand?”

: “Oh, that reminds me - Happy New Year.”

: “And I hope you’ll continue getting along with Futaba and myself.”

: “I could cook some up, so long as you serve yourself everything and pay your bill on the way out.”

: “That’s a wise choice.”

: Joker screams. He runs to his room to call Yusuke and tell him to bring the biggest squirt gun he can find.

: This guy’s voice is unmistakably Morgana’s. What the fuck is going on here?

: “Oho, lookin’ sharp.”

: “Heheheh…”

: I’m only not screaming because I know there’s a plot reason for all of this. The thing is, it’s not a plot reason that explains the obviously human Morgana or Akechi coming back to life.

: Trust me, I’ll be screaming soon enough, because one of the things it doesn’t explain is why a bunch of cutscenes that were added for Royal to the base game exist at all.

: “Sorry, I don’t wanna be late to the shrine. More showing off comes later. Welp, time to make like a tree!”

: “What’s up? Did you have plans for today or something?”

: “Aw, c’mon, you should’ve just said as much, then. I’ll be fine here, so off you go. Have fun. Oh, but it’s pretty cold out there, so don’t forget to dress warm so you don’t catch a bug.”

: Uh, Joker? I think he’s right in front of you.

: Everyone else seems normal, at least.

: Atlus: “Sorry, we can’t afford to write a better plot. We’re too busy dumping our money into portraits we’re going to use for one scene.”

: “Talk about incredible happenstance.”

: “Indeed - but, due to this fortuitous turn of fate…”

: What’s funny about this is that Yusuke has a little animation where he starts the box over near where Makoto is, but quickly moves it to the left.

: I think we all know he’s actually talking about Joker.

: “What’re you doing, Kitagawa-senpai?”

: “Just ignore him. It’s like a fit he gets into sometimes.”

: “So, what do you wanna do after this? If we’ve got the time for it, why don’t we grab somethin’ to eat together?”

: “I’m sorry, I’ll be heading out with my family once we’re finished here.”

: “I have somewhere to be as well.”

: By the end of this conversation, we’ll know a lot about this strange new world we’ve entered. In fact, this cutscene is going to make a few upcoming ones kinda pointless.

: The only people who haven’t had their dreams magically come to life are Makoto and Yusuke. In the former case it’s because Makoto is a cardboard cutout and Yusuke’s only wish is Joker.

: “Well, I guess we’ll all just go do our own thing then.”

: “Mmhm! See you later.”

: “Oh, I was wondering earlier - what did you wish for at the shrine, Kurusu-senpai?”

: giggle “Well, we did just run into everyone else - maybe that was your wish!”

: “Me? Well…”

: “Ummm… he’s telling me that some relatives have come over to the house, so I have to go home and spend some time with them. He decided to come all the way out to the station to get me… my family’s kind of serious about their get-togethers.”

: “I’m really sorry - I was the one who invited you here and everything! At least allow me to accompany you to the station.”

: I don’t know what it is about the portrait for Kasumi’s father, but it looks… off. Anyway, there’s also a portrait if you didn’t do Kasumi’s Rank 3 event.

: “Hrgh…”

: “Who do we have here? I believe this is our first time meeting.”

: “This is Kurusu-senpai. The one I told you about before? My senpai who’s done so much for me.”

: “Ah, so you’re Kurusu-kun. My daughter talks about you all the time.”

: “D-Dad! Not all the time!”

: “Is that not so? I was told you picked these out for me, too. I know it’s pretty late for it, but thank you all the same.”

: “Dad wears them all the time, even at work.”

: “I’m quite the fan of them.”

: This shot here is kind of a plot hole, but the weird color filter thing has happened twice now. The first time was when Joker walked down the stairs this morning.

: “Wha-?”

: “Hm? Something wrong?”

: “Ah… no, nothing! Well then, Kurusu-senpai - please excuse us!”

: Well, that’s it for this update. We have a number of lengthy cutscenes coming in the next update, plus I have to do all the other Christmas Eve dates.

: Next time, we’ll see what’s probably the gayest scene in the game (not counting the gay Yusuke route) and find out who the final villain is.

: Anyway, I’m tired of all this dialog. I feel like it’s too much build-up, not enough payoff. Dreams magically coming to life… what a stupid fucking plot. I’m gonna go to bed. Good night, everyone.

[Timrod]

Summary

: I went back and did some housekeeping with the hub post and realized I never got around to posting Haru’s romance scenes. Let’s fix that.

: Like all of the romance cutscenes, Haru’s Rank 9 is identical up until the choice.

: “Huh!? Oh, I, um…! Do you… really mean that…? I-I see. So… it wasn’t just me. You know… at first, I thought I was asking you for help because of the Phantom Thieves…”

: “But I think really… it was so I could spend time with you. O-Oh! I guess I’m already getting better at saying what I think… f-for some reason… just looking at you gives me butterflies…”

: “U-Um, maybe we should go somewhere a little more private… some of the maids are still around here. O-Oh, but um, we definitely can’t go to my room! Who knows what they would say about that…”

: “Akira-kun… I’m so full of emotion… I doubt I could even drink coffee right now.”

: “Er, well… H-How are you?”

: “O-Oh, you… you’re so unfair… I was thinking the same thing, though. I wish you were here with me. Urgh… I’m the one who called, and yet… I suddenly feel so nervous.”

: “I just couldn’t control myself, and… I blurted out everything that was on my mind… I hope we can see each other again soon. It’d be nice not to have to rush… okay, bye.”

: Haru’s Rank 10 on the romance route is mostly identical to her other Rank 10, except it takes place in Joker’s room instead of in Leblanc itself.

: “I would have been married to a man I don’t respect… and lived a horrible life. I’m glad I can be with you instead…”

: “I meant, I’m… um… glad to be your teammate…”

: “Y-Yes… thank you. As long as you’re by my side… it feels like everything’s going to be okay… and if you’re ever in trouble, I will be there for you. After all, you were there for me when I needed it.”

: “I can help you now. I have the strength to do so, I can sense it.”

: “So, um… t-today… I’d… like to be with you a little longer.”

[SpammyV]

The real mystery for me right now is how much this stranger had to bribe the developers to get his name in the dialog boxes to be “Studly Guy.”

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 104

: Well, I’ve got some bad news. I went to record the alternate Christmas Eve events this morning, and my copy of the base game is gone. I say “gone”, but there’s an envelope where it was that has something inside of it the exact shape and size of a PS4 case. My guess is it’s probably a prank.

: Joker screams. He screams again. There’s someone in Yusuke’s spot, but it’s not Yusuke!

: “Huh? I was just sleeping… hey, you’ve been acting kinda weird since yesterday. What’s going on?”

: Isn’t this just that scene with Michael in YIIK?

: “Ooh! Oh, you can go on ahead. I’ll be down in a sec.”

: Huh… this is kinda how I felt going into my basement this morning to record. Probably the damn neighbor’s dog waking me up at 6 in the morning again.

: I feel like they could’ve skipped those scenes where Futaba hints that her mother came back and just gone right to this. I mean, it’s obvious something’s fucked… like whoever put my copy of the base game in that envelope.

: I don’t remember if I mentioned this earlier (I think I didn’t to avoid the spoiler) but the wiki claims that the villain in the Featherman Seeker game has the same verbal tics that Wakaba does in Japanese.

: “Looks like your recipes have reached housewife-level quality. You trying to get hitched sometime soon?”

: “Heh, thanks, but no. Hey, come join us.”

: “Good morning.”

: I kinda had to go with this one.

: “Oho, is this your first gag of the new year?”

: “Heheh, drunk on the spirit of the new year already, huh?”

: “I’ll warn you not to try any pranks with Wakaba… it’ll only blow up in your face - she’ll tease you forever until she finally bores herself.”

: It’s dumb that he can immediately recognize her as the sphinx, but doesn’t know immediately who Wakaba is - especially considering he’s seen her before.

: “What’s up? Not feeling so good?”

: “He’s been like this since yesterday.”

: “Morning, Mona.”

: “Mornin’! Do you think there’s enough osechi for me to join you?”

: “Was that a question? Of course I’m me. Seriously, are you all right?”

: You know, I’m having a sinking feeling that maybe I should open that envelope… but it can wait.

: “Okay, that’s enough joking around for now - go ahead and grab a seat. I bet you’re just hungry.”

: “I can’t remember the last time I actually got to relax and enjoy myself on a New Year’s like this.”

: “I’m stuffed too… if only I had something to cap off this meal… like a cup of coffee.”

: “Boy, that was a subtle request.”

: “Ooh, does anyone want dessert with their coffee? I’ll go pick it up, my treat. You want a Mont Blanc, right, Mom?”

: “Oh, how kind. Thank you.”

: “All right! I shall return!”

: “Be careful.”

: “What’s the matter, Akira-kun?”

: I’m fine with Wakaba being alive, but fuck off, Akechi!

: “Sorry, we haven’t opened for the day yet.”

: “My apologies - I merely wished to speak with Kurusu-kun for a moment.”

: “Why don’t you go and get some fresh air with him? I’ll stand guard over your dessert for you.”

: “You say that now, but when he gets back and his dessert’s gone, I’m pretty sure he’ll suspect it was an inside job.”

: “I can definitely see that happening with Mona on guard duty.”

: “We have to discuss this.”

: “That’s right, just like you seem to be. …Come on.”

: We know why - the answer is because Royal was written around a focus group.

: “That seems as good a place to begin as any. At the end of last year, I turned myself in to the police as the perpetrator of the serial psychotic breakdown incidents. Your memory of this is still intact, correct?”

: “Ah, yes…”

: “We have greater concerns right now. In fact, I’m a bit offended you think so little of me that you expected me to be dead. Perhaps the most confusing part of my story comes post-detainment.”

: “Obviously I was thoroughly interrogated about my involvement in Shido’s case… but for some reason, after questioning, I was suddenly released. No explanation whatsoever.”

: “Yes, I was acquitted of all charges. It’s absolutely preposterous. More than that - it should be impossible for them to release a confessing suspect after only a brief interrogation… but, what’s even more unbelievable to me is…”

: Here’s what I don’t get about this entire thing. It’s pretty clear the whole reason Akechi is alive (apart from focus groups and the writers being spineless) is to take the fall instead of Joker.

: The thing is… if reality is so fucked that Akechi can walk into a police station, confess to being a serial killer, and then walk right out afterward, why did he need to exist in the first place?

: Wouldn’t it have been easier and more straightforward for Joker to turn himself in and get immediately released? Maybe with a scene where the police start to arrest him but then suddenly change their minds and release him?

: This feels like one of those end-of-chapter quizzes in Hotel Dusk.

: “I should get to the point. …Let’s make a deal. What say we join forces on this?”

: This should’ve been a fucking legit option. Joker has no reason to do anything with Akechi apart from ram his head into one of those washing machines like it’s Hotline Miami.

: “Well, I can understand that… but considering what’s going on, I think it’s best to put aside personal grudges and work together on this. For the time being, you and I share the same goal. To solve this problem, don’t you agree that it’d be safer for us to partner up?”

: No, it’s fucking not! The best thing you could do is get Yusuke and Ann!

: “Have you made up your mind?”

: I wish they had put in a route that lets you reject Akechi entirely - he’s useless anyway, given his gear is horribly out of date compared to the rest of our party. He also doesn’t have any boosts or amps.

: If you’ll recall, back when we fused Futsunushi we found out that Futsunushi itemizes into Hi no Kagutsuchi - but no one can use it. That’s because Hi no Kagutsuchi is Akechi’s final melee weapon.

: “First, I need information. Can you tell me what happened after… parting ways with me in Shido’s Palace?”

: “…I see. Though some abnormalities appeared immediately, the most glaring ones arrived after the new year… and all of the Phantom Thieves, with you as the sole exception, are living in this altered reality without even realizing it…”

: “Go ahead.”

: “Senpai!? It’s Yoshizawa! I’m in Odaiba right now, and… uh…”

: “Um, I don’t really understand what I’m seeing, but I’m just going to describe it to you… it’s that building… it’s really faint, but I can see that “Palace” thing that Morgana-senpai mentioned a while ago!”

: Clearly when the base game’s ending said “Mementos has collapsed, the Metaverse is gone” they meant “The entire ending never happened”.

: “Kurusu-senpai, I know this is sudden, but… could you come to Odaiba right away?”

: “I understand. I’ll see you soon!”

: “That was Yoshizawa-san’s voice, wasn’t it? I believe I heard her say the word ‘Palace’.”

: This is like that moment in Monster Hunter World where you find out that you didn’t actually kill half the monsters.

: “Despite not being in the Metaverse? You’re planning to meet up with Yoshizawa-san, right? I’ll join you - we’re all but guaranteed to find a clue there.”

: I want to fucking punch him.

: “…Akechi-san?”

: “We just happened to be together when he got your call. First a dead woman returns, and now a Palace appears… how intriguing.”

: “Akechi-san, you know about Palaces?”

: “Would it help you grasp the situation if I told you that I have the same powers he has?”

: “Allow me to stop you there - I’m not a part of the Phantom Thieves. However, since you’ve already grasped the concept, it’s clear to me that you’re a fellow Persona-user.”

: “Um…”

: “Yes, I can use a Persona as well. I’m not a part of the Phantom Thieves either, though… I just so happened to slip into this Palace with Kurusu-senpai and Morgana-senpai a while ago.”

: Does it hurt being that anime? Seriously, I think that’s the only time I’ve ever seen someone use “senpai” twice in a sentence.

: “But, what could be the meaning behind its appearance here? I just happened to be passing by on my way home when I came across it…”

: “Since nobody else is making a scene about it, I assume others aren’t able to see it. Or, they see it, but it doesn’t evoke any real reaction in them…”

: “Yes, that’s exactly it! I asked some people in the area, and none of them seemed to care at all about its appearance.”

: “Hmm… rather than simply hypothesize out here, we may be better off taking immediate action.”

: “You mean, we should go into the Palace?”

: “Not only has a Palace manifested itself in reality, but this is the only one visible to us. I realize I have no proof, but it’s highly likely that this is related to our current incomprehensible situation.”

: “Wouldn’t it be more efficient to just go inside and see what we can learn? That is, if we have the means to do so.” Oh, it’s…"

: For a dead man, Akechi can sure make a scene drag.

: “I thought it was gone for good, but it looks like we’ve regained access to the Nav.”

: “I have it as well.”

: “Is there a search history?”

: “Search history… how do I check… ah! There’s one search in the log, but…”

: If you paid attention back on 10/03, you know whose palace this is… and here’s where I get to point out how this palace is a plot hole.

: The keywords are “Dr. Maruki”, “Stadium”, and “Research Lab”. Somehow, Kasumi got in without using Maruki’s full name (Takuto Maruki) and using the other keywords in the wrong order.

: This is either a plot hole, or all those times Joker had to ask for someone’s full name to get at them in Mementos were pointless.

: “The ‘name’ portion of the entry has been censored somehow… could this be the doing of the Palace’s Ruler?”

: Could this be the work of an enemy Stand?

: “Does that mean we can’t enter the Palace?”

: “Well, we do have the search history, so it should be possible to infiltrate it anyway.”

: “…If you’re going in, would you be willing to bring me with you? I can’t put my finger on it, but something’s been bothering me about this place ever since we first entered it. I promise I won’t slow you down.”

: “What’s your call?”

: “That settles it!”

: “All right. Let’s do it.”

: “What could this building even be?”

: Akechi somehow fixed his helmet. In the expansion content, Akechi is the answer to the question “What if Guts was an annoying fuckboy?”

: “We’ll likely find that out if we keep pushing forward.”

: “Is that so? By the way, um…”

: “What’s the matter?”

: “Well… I’m not sure how to put it…”

: “True outfit?”

: “Yoshizawa-san aside, there’s no reason for me to uphold the pretense of a righteous, sincere Detective Prince. Enough chatting. Let’s move out.”

: This is yet another one of those scripted “Investigate the palace but not too much” sequences. Now that we know who this dungeon belongs to, I can post the music.

: There’s a chest right in the beginning with some SP recovery items in it. The devs put this here because you don’t have the chance to unequip the party you fought Yaldabaoth with or buy more SP patches.

: “That was a few months ago, wasn’t it? There could’ve been a change of heart since then. Do you remember how far you went in last time?”

: “I see, so you’re only familiar with the area close to the entrance… let’s keep going.”

: The stealables here are hearts. Because we’re John Persona. God dammit.

: “This is definitely different from the last time.”

: “What a strange announcement. ‘Become happy’? What kind of place Is this?”

: Most of the NPCs have these weird smiles on their faces. There’s something I’d like to talk about a little bit, which is how the writers for Royal went about designing Maruki.

: Like Innocent Sin, Royal also had an official guide published. In that guide, the writers did an interview where they said that they realized one of Hashino’s major downsides was his inability to write anything that isn’t a shounen battle manga villain.

: Their stated goal in designing Maruki was that they wanted a villain the player doesn’t want to hate… which is kind of a problem because it makes it hard to justify why Joker (or the player) should want to oppose him.

: I’ll talk a little more about it when we learn what Maruki’s plan is - but I think you all probably already know what it is… especially since I spelled it out in the hub post.

: “The language of a Shadow is a hint into its Ruler’s ideology… this one sounds rather cultish, for example. Sorry, but we’re going to pass through there now. We don’t have the time to waste on peons like yourself.”

: The problem with the writers’ idea is lines like this. I’m going to spoil something minor: there’s a bad ending where you agree with Maruki’s plan. Officially, it’s not supposed to be a bad ending - both the ending where you defeat Maruki and the ending where you agree with him are supposed to be valid choices.

: It also would’ve been better if there weren’t enemies here, since Maruki having an army of shadows definitely doesn’t feel evil at all. No sir.

: Well… mostly because I had nothing better to do. If I didn’t want pain, I never would’ve LPed YIIK. Or Two Brothers, or Ni no Kuni 2. Or that one LP I don’t talk about.

: This enemy is called a Macabre, and is from Devil Summoner. It’s not a mythological figure.

: “Y-Yes… ready whenever!”

: “It’ll be too much trouble to go about this haphazardly. I’ll provide the support.”

: “Akechi-san!?”

: “Now, time to obliterate them!”

: “A-All right!”

: Akechi has lost his Bless attacks and is a Physical/Curse hybrid. He has no boosts or amps, and his passive sucks: it has a chance to reduce the SP cost of support spells - like Debilitate.

: The thing is, Ann has a passive that does the same thing… only hers works on all spells.

: Macabre is weak to Bless, and I could have gotten a one-round kill if I had used Metatron instead (including the All-Out). Hassou Tobi doesn’t quite cut it.

: Kasumi is still a Physical/Bless hybrid, though unlike Akechi her skillset doesn’t suck. She comes with Bless Amp and Ali Dance.

: “Especially considering the last-minute arrangement of our team and all.”

: “…”

: “Yoshizawa-san?”

: “U-Uh, yes! So, that Shadow - it said something about research. And also something about pain…”

: “It mentioned salvation as well - all this seems to indicate that the Palace’s Ruler is not in his or her right mind. …Oh?”

: “I seem to have found a map to this place. Let’s make good use of it.”

: “Would you say this is how he normally is? Like a, ah… ruthless sort of person?”

: “I see…”

: “What say we save the idle chatter for later and keep moving? Unless teaming up with a ‘ruthless sort of person’ is too much for you to handle.”

: “…Looks like we’re busted.”

: This area is a waiting room with a staircase on either side. Both lead to the same place. It’s almost like the level designer is trying to tell us something… using the environment… about there being multiple valid paths.

: Bugs and Nebiros show up, and even though we’ve encountered both before, their stats are hidden. Their weaknesses are the same: Bugs is weak to Nuclear, Nebiros to Bless.

: I got a random negotiation thanks to Kasumi critting, so I used the Greatest Weapon to grab some money. We’ll need it.

: Chimera also shows up, and is weak to Wind. A single Panta Rhei from Vishnu ends the fight.

: There’s an area to the North that I backtracked to later - it has a chest with some incense in it. Nothing important.

: “That voice… look!”

: “Yes, she’ll be here too. I’m sure she’ll be here, once she’s able to calm down… sniff sob Why… Why?”

: “That was your father in the video just now, wasn’t it, Yoshizawa-san? And the one he was speaking to…”

: “…I’d mentioned to you that I’ve lost a family member, right? But, how was this video-”

: “I’m sorry… I don’t know what’s been wrong with me lately. I’ve been getting this feeling, like… like I need to remember something, but at the same time, I oughtn’t remember it…”

: “…Can you still walk, Yoshizawa-san? Whatever it is that’s happening, we have to keep going if we hope to learn more about it.”

: “If you can’t keep moving, we can’t keep the plot moving.”

: “Yes - I’m all right! Let’s go.”

: “…Hey. When was it that you said you became acquainted with Yoshizawa-san?”

: “I see… anyway, let’s move out. I suspect we still have a long way to go.”

: Where the hell was this Akechi during all those long, pointless cutscenes with the old Akechi in them?

: “You seem to be in pain again. Are you all right?”

: “I-I’m fine! It’s just that… I can’t stop thinking about that video we saw earlier…”

: “You mean the one about Sumire-san?”

: “Yes… let’s keep pushing. I need to find out why that was shown to me!”

: “Hmph… a newcomer.”

: “All these warnings of pain and tragedy! Who is your Ruler? Why do you all think you know so much about me!?”

: Kasumi does a bunch of attacks that are all nulled. Nebiros and Belial being here makes sense thematically, given their whole relationship with Alice in SMT1.

: Dammit Akechi! Make up your fucking mind! Are you ripping off Guts or not?

: He says in a turn-based JRPG.

: I didn’t even need Akechi or Kasumi - Metatron killed both of them in one Makougaon. There was this lady I used to work with who had “Have a blessed day” in her email signature and now I understand what she was really saying.

: “Huh?”

: This is a scene that would’ve been absolutely PERFECT… had they done it in October. As it is, it’s going to foreshadow a plot point that happens maybe two minutes later.

: “What…?”

: Sure is strange how this fake Kasumi is looking at the real one and calling her by her dead sister’s name.

: “…!?”

: “Stop…”

: One of the other things in that interview about Maruki: the writers said they didn’t want Maruki to taunt the player the way the other palace bosses did… but once you understand what’s going on here, that’s exactly what he’s doing.

: “…Stop it!”

: “…Yoshizawa-san, you’re…”

: “A man’s voice…”

: Why didn’t they lead with this? Have Maruki show up as soon as Joker enters the dungeon, begging him not to go any further. He’d probably use the phrase “in your best interest” at least once.

: I mean, he knows that Joker can go through these dungeons like nothing - I’m not sure if he knows about the whole “killing God” bit because that’s basically a self-retcon, but he knows about Shido.

: “Nothing but heartache, huh… I don’t understand what you’re saying, but I have no intention of leaving now!”

: “We’re in agreement here. We also refuse to do as you say. Now, why don’t you drop the ‘big voice behind the curtain’ act and face us directly?”

: “…He agreed to that much more readily than I expected. Perhaps the Palace’s Ruler really will make his appearance?”

: “Thanks for your concern. But I’m fine, really! Let’s go.”

: Just one corridor until the end.

: It took me this long to remember to get a shot of Akechi’s cut-in for the All-Out Attack. He also has a new finisher screen, but none of the enemies here are weak to Curse.

: This is not as ridiculous as Maruki gets. That’s actually Maruki and not a shadow, by the way.

: “I pretty much figured that you would end up infiltrating this place. …Truth be told, this isn’t how I was hoping we would meet again.”

: “Dr. Maruki… you’re the Ruler of this Palace!?”

: “…Palace?”

: “A place where distorted desires manifest - we’re asking if you’re the source of the desires here.”

: “Ah, I see. Well, to use your own words: yes, I am this Palace’s Ruler. But in my case, it seems a tad different from the ones you’ve seen.”

: “Would we also be correct in believing that you’re involved in the abnormalities outside the Palace as well?”

: “Yes, you would. Do you like the reality I created for you?”

: “You… created it?”

: He’s Man-Maki. That’s exactly what he is. This, by the way, is why they put all those scenes with the party members meeting Maruki in… but they don’t explain how he’d know what Morgana wanted.

: This shot slowly morphs into a dutch angle and I hate it.

: “Is that how you really feel? …The old reality was cruel and unfair. The truth is, Yoshizawa-san suffers immense pain each and every time she taps into her forgotten past.”

: “My… past? Dr. Maruki… what do you mean!? What’s happened to me!?”

: “… All right. I had honestly hoped that all those warnings you were given would change your minds… but if it’s your true desire, then I want you to recall who you really are. And I want you two to learn as well.”

: Here’s why I fucking hate this scene. This would have had a million times more impact if it had happened before the weird shit started, especially if the other party members were here.

: See, there’s never really a point at which any of the characters agree with Maruki - and that’s the problem. You kind of NEED to have that for him to have an impact as a villain.

: Like, imagine this scene except he’s trying to get the party members to agree with him - and inadvertently creates a schism in the party because some of them (Futaba, Ann, and Haru) want it while others (Yusuke, Ryuji, and probably Makoto) don’t.

: That would have made this scene good. It would have had a fucking impact, and shown Maruki as being a bad thing without him even intending to be: all he’s really trying to do is help.

: The other issue I have is that as far as I’m aware, the game never goes into the actual flaws with Maruki’s plan: that he’s effectively a softer Yaldabaoth and that it’s impossible to make a world where everyone’s dreams come to life because people have conflicting desires. Oh, and that he can’t know what everyone wants.

: Welcome to the dumbest fucking plot twist in the game.

: “…Seems you remembered.”

: “That’s right… I’m…”

: “No… that’s not right! I’m… I’m not Kasumi!”

: “…The girl named ‘Kasumi Yoshizawa’ is currently deceased.”

: “It was last spring… before I started at Shujin… we were walking home from practice. It happened right there, on that street in the video… I wasn’t looking where I was going… and Kasumi, she protected me from the car…”

: It looked more like she was trying to kill herself.

: “I was saved by Kasumi… I robbed her of her dreams… and even her life! I’m… her younger sister, Sumire Yoshizawa.”

: “I’ll take over from here. After all, I do play a part in this story. Her real name… is Sumire Yoshizawa. She’s Kasumi-san’s younger sister. But for months now, she’s only seen herself as being Kasumi Yoshizawa… her deceased elder sister.”

: This is the dumbest fucking plot twist. Why would you do all this convoluted bullshit when it could just be “I made her forget how her sister died, so she doesn’t blame herself.”

: “Of course, it was only her cognition of herself that changed, so to the people around her, she was still Sumire-san. For some reason, though… there were a few rare exceptions to this. Did something happen to make you believe she was Kasumi-san?”

: “It appears you were clueless, but she was Sumire Yoshizawa from the start. However, when we watched that other video, she gave her name as Kasumi Yoshizawa. Considering such an odd claim, I’d actually suspected for a moment that she was the Palace Ruler…”

: Wouldn’t you know that she couldn’t be, because she has a Persona?

: “After Kasumi died, but before I started at Shujin, I received counseling from Dr. Maruki. That was when I told him… if Kasumi is gone and can’t make her dream come true… then I want to become Kasumi, so I can turn her dream into reality for her.”

: “So that’s why you meddled with her cognition? For her own wishes?”

: “That’s right. Limited as it was, I already had the power at the time to actualize her wish. Put yourselves in her shoes for a moment… Sumire-san’s older sister died from protecting her. Imagine surviving such a dismal tragedy…”

: “Who would be able to cope with that survivor’s guilt, let alone heal from the emotional scarring that she’s suffered? If Sumire-san can live a healthy, positive life by becoming Kasumi-san… then I believe that reality is what would make her happy.”

: “…I’ve had enough of your high-and-mighty rationalization. All you really did was use her to try and make everyone acknowledge the validity of your research.”

: There’s one card I’m very surprised Maruki isn’t playing, namely that he’s the reason Akechi is alive. I also don’t quite get why he’d bring Akechi back if Akechi’s sole purpose is to oppose him.

: “So that’s how you see things, huh? That’s quite unfortunate. Of course I wanted society to acknowledge cognitive psience through my research…”

: I don’t think the writers for Royal understood what they were doing when they wrote Maruki. Notice how he’s saying he wants to end suffering - in effect, making a “world without pain”.

: When we see Maruki’s reality, what we’ll actually see is “a world where everyone’s dreams come to life”, which… is what Evan wanted in Ni no Kuni 2, more or less. Why wasn’t he a villain again?

: “…!”

: “My work will convert the wishes of the people into reality. Even as we speak, my research is coming to fruition… no one will ever have to suffer again under the yoke of an unfair world.”

: Maruki has two contradictory visions: a “world without pain” is a very different thing than “everyone’s dreams come to life”.

: “This… Palace, you called it? It’s a place where its Ruler’s desires take physical form, yes? I wish to utilize my research to save humanity - I suppose that would be the ‘desire’ I hold dearest.”

: “…What total nonsense.”

: “You could very well be right. Still, I’m entirely serious about changing our imperfect reality. Just as she was saved by becoming Kasumi, I’ll save every other person in the world currently suffering.”

: “I don’t know for certain - it’ll most likely be treated as if it never existed. The cruel reality will cease to be, and the reality I generate will be the sole world recognized by society.”

: “And you assume we’ll buy into your brainwashing and just live in the palm of your hand? Honestly, that sounds absolutely revolting.”

: “…All right, so that’s your answer, Akechi-kun. How about the others? Yoshizawa-san… allow me to ask you yet again… which reality is it that you wish to inhabit?”

: “If you so desire, you can return to your life as Sumire… but if you’d rather continue your life as Kasumi, I can grant that wish for you as well.”

: “Dr. Maruki… I…”

: “It’s impossible… I’m sorry, Kurusu-senpai… I… I can’t go back to being her… I can’t be the one who led her sister to her death!”

: The real question is why would you not offer to bring Kasumi back?

: “Please don’t judge her. This is just evidence of how painful life is for her. You two sensed doubts forming in the reality I manifested - that’s what brought you here.”

: I picked the top option because I thought it went to the bad ending. It doesn’t - we can’t get that until the next time we come here.

: “…No decision yet, huh?”

: I think the writers also didn’t understand that if you want to make a villain who doesn’t seem like one, having a giant tentacle is probably not the best way to go about doing it.

: Meet Hastur, a Persona that originated in Eternal Punishment. He is Cthulhu’s half-brother.

: Hastur opens with a nuclear explosion.

: Joker jumps slightly and dodges the entire nuclear blast.

: We actually did more damage than Hastur has HP - the Diarahan only heals it for 2000 and Akechi did a hit for around 750.

: Hastur then responds with his signature skill, Abyssal Eyes. It’s mechanically identical to Lucifer’s Morning Star. There’s a softlock that can happen here if you’re on NG+ and have Hastur yourself - if you use Abyssal Eyes, it breaks Akechi.

: Here’s one of Joker’s two Showtime attacks. The other is with Sumire. The English title is “Bladed Runners” while the Japanese title is “From Hell Till Dawn”.

: You should probably watch the video of it in Japanese.

: I hate how un-subtle the signs are.

: Cutscene director, can we please stop it with the dutch angles? This is starting to look like a student film.

: “I’m fairly certain any further ‘negotiating’ is pointless.”

: “That seems to be the case, unfortunately. But first, I have an idea. Rather than explain it with words, I’d like you to actually see this new reality with your own eyes.”

: “…That, I cannot do. As I said before, she wishes to live in the reality where she is Kasumi. There’s no way I can hand her over to you with matters as they currently are.”

: “I already told you that I won’t harm her. And I’ll swear by it. Don’t worry about her. Go, look at the reality I’ve created for you all.”

: “Once you’ve seen the results, I know you’ll realize which future is best.”

: “You think we’ll just obey your orders?”

: “I apologize, but you really are going through with this - even if it’s by force.”

: “Tch… he got away. We shouldn’t chase him too far. What say we head back for now?”

: “To think Takuto Maruki of all people would be the mastermind behind this absurd situation… and he happens to be warping the very fabric of reality while ranting about making everyone’s dreams come true.”

: “Talk about incomprehensible motives… I can’t even wrap my head around such intentions. At any rate, we need to figure out our next steps.”

: “Don’t you think it’d basically be suicide to try and save her in our current state? We need intel first. If we’re going to stand up to him, we have to know more than nothing. I’ll do some investigating on my own.”

: “I hate that we have to do what he says, but Maruki told us we have to wait until January 9th. Let’s meet up here next week. Although, I imagine both our lives will be very different if you choose to live in this reality as your friends have been.”

: “It’s me. I discovered something that I thought I should tell you right away. I called Yoshizawa-san’s house to see what I’d learn - they believe she’s been at ‘training camp’ since yesterday.”

: “To think, Maruki really is changing our physical reality as he sees fit…”

: “No kidding. This is the first time I’ve witnessed a power that even comes close to this magnitude. Even the great Phantom Thieves you’re so proud of fell in line with his scheme.”

: “You’re going to see if you can change their minds, aren’t you? Well, fine. I suppose we can use the manpower… if you can bring them to their senses, that is.”

: “That’s wholly dependent on whether or not they’re capable of leaving the reality they supposedly wished for. I’ll focus on investigating Maruki further. You do what you need to.”

: “Well, I’ll reach out to you should anything come up. Goodnight.”

: “Was that Akechi? You two seem to be getting along well lately. Hey, so I was thinking. Why don’t us Phantom Thieves all go to a hot spring together some time? Then, Lady Ann I can… heeheehee…”

: Joker reaches for his air horn. It isn’t there. The four squirt guns he keeps hidden in his room are gone.

: “How’s that sound? Perfect, right? We should ask the rest of the gang soon.”

: There’s a flashback to Maruki from not even a minute ago, so I’ll skip that.

: “All right, we ought to hit the hay for today. Ahh… the bed may be a tad too cozy for the both of us. Oh well! I’ll just start sleeping on the sofa instead.”

: That couch is not NEARLY big enough. Plus, it’s got those wooden arms…

: “Huh? Where’s this coming from? Well… yeah, I’d say I’m happy.”

: “Haha, yeah! I can still remember how much you hated when I’d curl up on top of you! Wait… curl up on top…? That… doesn’t seem right…”

: I also feel like the writers didn’t quite have a solid definition of how Maruki’s reality works. Why would Morgana not remember being a cat?

: “I got captured in Kamoshida’s Palace, and that’s when I met you guys… when we’d go into Mementos, I’d transform into a…”

: “Huh? O-Okay…”

: “…! What was-? Sorry, I’m gonna go out and do some thinking for a bit. You should get some sleep.”

: This is where 1/2 ends. Next time, we’ll… hey, I never opened that envelope.

: I have a feeling I know what this is.

: That’s… impossible, yet I’m not surprised. I really should throw this in the trash and walk away. The fan translation team is hard at work on it. It’ll come out eventually.

: But… do I really want that? Do I want to throw this away? I mean, what could it hurt if I just opened it up? You know, just to rip the image. I can’t use this disk on my Go anyway.

: It’s not like just ripping the image would be giving in. Yeah, let’s do that. I’ll go hook up my PSP-1000 right now.

: Huh. It’s still ripping, but I feel like a terrible curse just got lifted. Wait, what the fuck…!?

: Wow! That got done ripping surprisingly quickly. Next time, we’ll forget about this whole painful reality, and move into a wonderful new world without pain.

[drcakey]

God, Guts-armor Akechi looks even worse than Tengu Akechi. But it’s kind of fun to have a temporary partner who’s just like “I sure do love being evil! Anyway Joker we need to get to the bottom of this mystery.”

Now, Akechi hates the entire world, and probably also himself, so I can see why he would dislike a world without pain and/or world where everyone’s wishes are granted. I’m curious if that’s his written motivation or if the writers gave him a different one.

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 1...?

: Welcome to Persona 2: Eternal Punishment! It’s a direct sequel to Innocent Sin, and boy am I eager to get started… right after I finish eating lunch. The burger place a couple of streets over opened back up yesterday.

: I’m really happy for the owner - last I heard, he had a huge gambling problem, but apparently he turned his life around and re-opened all the restaurants he owned. I got two pizza burgers for lunch!

: Jun!

: This is, of course, the Alaya Shrine we saw in Innocent Sin.

: Huh… these text boxes look a little off compared to Innocent Sin. I bet it’s because of all those complaints about the PSP version - Atlus probably decided to go with the PS1-style textboxes instead.

: Tatsuya doesn’t wear his Seven Sisters uniform in this game. I’ve heard that originally they had planned for him to stay in his uniform, but a concept artist had already made this red tracksuit and they went with that instead.

: Forget…? Remember…? Why do I feel like…

: If you’ve read the Innocent Sin LP, you probably have a pretty good idea of what that is. I still feel like I’ve forgotten something though…

: Oh, now I remember! The save transfer! It never asked me to transfer my save from Innocent Sin! I can’t have a complete and accurate LP of Eternal Punishment without doing that.

: But… I never saw a menu option to do that. Maybe I’d better restart and see if I clicked through it somehow.

: Ah, there we go! Now I just need to load the Innocent Sin save.

: No data…? That can’t be… I know I kept my Innocent Sin save on this memory stick. I even made a backup, just in case the memory stick (or the PSP) died. I’m sure it’s probably an issue with my PSP’s file structure. We’ll just go without it for now.

: It’s a little hard to get across in screenshots, but they’re doing a Shinto prayer with bows and claps.

: Is that… Yukino!

: And this is how you know it’s the PSP version and not the PS1 version. In the PS1 version, they used the names from Revelations: Persona (because unfortunately, the PS1 version came out before Atlus realized their terrible mistake and re-released Persona 1).

: In the PS1 version, Yukino’s name is localized as “Yuki” but Maya calls her “Yukki”… which doesn’t make a lot of sense.

: This time around, we play as Maya. She’s now a silent protagonist the way Tatsuya was in Innocent Sin - but that means that we get to hear Tatsuya talk!

: JOKER…? Does Jun have penmanship problems or something? That’s probably why he carries around all those flowers.

: No, wait… it’s not that… there’s something I was supposed to remember. This is probably why that other guy beat me to LPing Persona 5 Royal by just over a week. I would’ve liked to LP that.

: But… everyone knows all you have to do is keep believing, and your dreams come to life! Wait… I feel like… I’ve said something about that before…

: We don’t need textboxes to know Maya is telling him “Let’s positive thinking!” That’s what I like about Maya, she’s always an optimist.

: The wiki doesn’t have a clean portrait for Mizuno, so I’m going to have to use full screenshots for her dialog.

: I think they mention it in one of the guides for this game, but I’m pretty sure the “Rumored Student” is Tatsuya.

: There’s this weird bug that happens whenever text is on screen where the framerate slows to a crawl. I’m not quite sure why that is… you’d think it’d be better on the PSP version.

: This is probably why I opted not to…

: In this world, Yukino has no apparent romantic interest in Fujii.

: “Wait, you’re going to a party, huh? To hell with the weekends… sometimes you just gotta have a good time.”

: We need to talk to everyone in the room to progress.

: There’s a lot of NPCs who talk about the “Guardian Dragons”, but it’s not a plot point as far as I know. I feel like this was probably based on an actual fad.

: Even in this world, there are rumors about giant spaceships under the city.

: Jun isn’t a demon-user. I mean, not anymore. He’s just a boyfriend now, like Yusuke in Persona 5 is in all these pictures of him I found on my hard drive. I have no idea where all of these came from.

: Yes! This is why Yukino is, has been, and will always be the best girl in this series… next to Elly. This is something Hashino probably should’ve stolen from Satomi Tadashi before he tried writing his own…

: Hold on… Hashino… I feel like I’ve forgotten something. There’s this indescribable rage that boils inside of me every time I see that name, and I don’t know why.

: Where’s the option to let Yukino be Yukino? Why haven’t we recruited her into the party yet?

: "It’s bad enough that she split us up! Now you can’t take some time off! Don’t give in to her, Maya! If you’re going over to Sevens, let me call up one of my old teachers. She’ll be able to help you out.

: Wait… ‘Mackey’? That doesn’t sound right. Let me take another look…

: Oh it’s “Maaki”, the same way he calls Yukino “Yuuki” with the elongated “u”. I must’ve read it wrong the first time.

: Dangit! You know what it is? It’s that slowdown. Maybe I got a bad copy of the game or something.

: Now that we’ve spoken to everyone, we can take the elevator down to the lobby and meet this Serizawa person.

: I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone described as a “ceramic girl” before… something’s really off about this game.

: “What!? What do you mean you have to work!? Don’t give me that… you weren’t planning on going anyway, huh? Oh, I know what it is. You’re still thinking about your ‘Deja Vu Boy’ huh? Ka-----! I told you to just forget about him!”

: “Besides, how close can you be to a boy that you bumped into once at a train station? Even if you felt you’ve met him before… What? You’re not kidding about this work thing? I’ve got an idea! Let me come with you! You’ll be able to finish your work in half the time, and we might still make it.”

: Katsuya!

: “No normal person could have done something like that.”

: “…No, he hasn’t. What the hell does he think he’s doing?”

: All these spelling and just… general common sense errors. Everyone knows it’s spelled “Kounan”, with a U. It’s giving me this odd feeling that I’m reminded of something, but can’t remember what…

: Oh god… my head…

: “I’m sorry that he’s worrying you, too. Please excuse me, but I must be going.”

: “Were those guys from the Police Department?”

: “It won’t take long, but… are you sure it’s alright?”

: “You mean… something happened?”

: We can meet another familiar face in the teacher’s lounge while we’re here.

: Akinari Kashihara is Jun’s father - in Innocent Sin, he worked with Tatsuya Sudou to write In Lak’ech, the book that ultimately allowed Nyarlathotep to destroy the world before being driven to suicide by his wife, who believed he was cheating on her with Maya Okamura.

: Wait… Okamura… I’ve heard that name before - and not from Innocent Sin. For some reason, all that comes to mind is a forehead.

: If you haven’t read the Innocent Sin LP, Hanya dies at the beginning of the game after being thrown from the clock tower. It’s so unrealistic - everyone knows that nobody dies from anything except old age.

: Anna was a minor character in Innocent Sin, where she was working with the Masked Circle as Lady Scorpio. She’s also gay and in love with Yukino.

: She’s one of the focuses of the bonus Tatsuya story in the PSP version of Eternal Punishment, which is why I chose to do this version and not the original.

: Noriko was in exactly one scene in Innocent Sin, when she meets Anna at Club Zodiac. But wait… “big sis”? Didn’t she call Anna her “senpai” in Innocent Sin…? What’s with this translation?

: “How do we know that? I let you slip because you were an all-star, but you’re useless if you can’t run! I’m waiting for you to quit school. You can quit along with your friend Suou!”

: In Innocent Sin, Anna had already dropped out of school.

: “Hey, you! Aren’t you gonna say anything!?”

: “Who… are you…? From a magazine…? I see… you guys probably think I killed him. Write whatever you want.”

: “I’m… gonna kill him.”

: Oh, right. I think I mentioned this in the Innocent Sin LP, but the person driving the car that hit Anna is named after Daisuke Kaneda, a game designer at Atlus who worked on Persona 3 and Persona 4. He had nothing to do with Persona 5, which is good because…

: You know, ever since I woke up this morning, I’ve had this… irrational hatred of Persona 5, and I don’t know why.

: “That was just too cruel. I’m gonna find that old man and complain, Ma-ya!”

: We can examine the Narurato Stone, which was the entrance to the Silver River (and subsequently to Xibalba) in Innocent Sin.

: In Innocent Sin, Maya Okamura wrote In Lak’ech with Kashihara, and was later accused by Kashihara’s wife of having an affair with him. She later goes insane and kills Maya with the Spear of Destiny.

: Our next destination is the Principal’s Office. Once we go in here, the game actually starts.

: Well, looks like Hanya dies for the second game straight.

: “W… what’s with this? What the… hell!?”

: “Excuse me, sir. I want to ask you…”

: “The note he’s holding… that pattern of killing… it’s him! Are you the first one on-scene? Did you see anyone suspicious? Anything suspicious when you got here? When did you get here?”

: “I…I don’t know! Stop asking me things all at once!”

: “I, it’s not me… I didn’t do anything!”

: “A, a demon…? Who the hell are you!? And, what’s this feeling…”

: “I took a request. So I’m here to kill you. That’s what the rumors say.”

: “Wha…!?”

: “Maya Amano… I know you so ve----ry well… what you even did on the ‘Other Side’.”

: Well, this clearly isn’t Jun… but it’s someone who knows about Innocent Sin. He’s also missing an eye… didn’t we know someone like that?

New Persona: Helios

Origin: Greece

Persona 2 Original

Titan of Greek myth who drives the Sun as a chariot.

New Persona: Callisto

Origin: Greece

Persona 2 Original

Nymph who either served under Artemis or who was her best friend, depending on interpretation. There are strong connotations that she was likely Artemis’s lover as well.

Returning Persona: Maia

Origin: Greece

First Appearance: Persona 2 Innocent Sin

Daughter of Atlas and Pleione. Eldest of the seven Pleiades. Mother to Hermes.

: Wow. Next time, we’ll meet Philemon again and go through a demon-infested Seven Sisters… for the second time.

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 105

: Goddamn, that was a horrible fucking dream. I dreamt I had a copy of Eternal Punishment in English, but I was all boring.

: I wonder if it had to do with that email I sent a few months ago - one of the developers working on the fan translation of Eternal Punishment PSP put out a patching tool that fixes the names in the PS1 version… but it doesn’t have save transfer capability, so I couldn’t LP it.

: Anyway, this section is entirely on rails - you can’t fast travel, and you’re forced to visit the party members in a certain order.

: By the way, you can buy a giant fuckoff Yaldabaoth for the roof of the Thieves Den.

: Most of the minor NPCs have already been affected by Maruki’s bullshit. I’m only going to show off this one and one other. This is the family who asked if the Phantom Thieves could steal what was making their dog sick.

: In the base game, their dog dies shortly before the end of the Shido arc.

: Some of the people walking around the station have smiles on their faces the way they did in Maruki’s palace.

: See that guy in the foreground with the brown jacket and the bag? I kept seeing the smile as a Hitler moustache when I was recording this.

: “Aw, I’m not the one who deserves the credit - you kept up your best effort and now you’re finally being recognized! Akira!? I can’t believe it! Over here!”

: “Long time no see, Kurusu-kun. Do you remember me?”

: “Wow, you remembered me? We didn’t even get to talk all that much since I transferred to another school so early into the semester.”

: I’m disappointed but not surprised that they didn’t put in an alternate bit for if you’ve completed Ann’s confidant and saw Shiho there.

: “Of course he remembers you! He HAS to remember, what with the bragging - I’ve told him all about how amazing my BFF is at volleyball.”

: “Oh, Ann… Sorry you have to put up with all that, Kurusu-kun.”

: Joker’s like “It’s fine, I just appreciate knowing I live in a world with someone as gay as I am.”

: “Shiho was the MVP at the big meet the other day too. Not only was she in the starting lineup, but she scored more points than anybody else! No wonder she’s the star of the team! I’m just so proud of you, Shiho!”

: “Aw, you’re too much…”

: “Everyone in volleyball knows that Shujin’s the top school when it comes to the sport. That’s how I was able to convince my parents to let me transfer back… after more than a little begging.”

: “I was so sad when she transferred for her parents’ jobs, but all’s well that ends well! I feel like everything’s just perfect!”

: One thing I don’t like about the writing in this part of the game is that what Maruki can do with his reality warping bullshit is wildly inconsistent.

: Why is it that he was able to overwrite several years of Futaba’s life, but didn’t bother to make it so that Shiho never left Shujin to begin with?

: What he’s asking is if she wants to wake up, or if she’s happy here. In fact, this entire plot arc is what happens when you take Dream of Butterfly and try to turn it into a script.

: “Huh? What does that mean? Of course I am…”

: "“Wh-What do you mean, ‘any doubts’? Well, I know I don’t. I spent so much time worrying over everything that now I’ve - wait… what? Something is… I remember being so cornered that I just wanted to die, but then I met everyone, and…”

: “What does that-”

: “Huh!? I just…”

: “Ann, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

: “Oh, um, I’m fine! I think I’m just… feeling a bit tired? Why don’t we go find some place to sit and relax for a bit? Sorry, Akira! I’ll call you later…”

: “See you, Kurusu-kun.”

: I’m pretty sure this is a fuckup with the script, but Ann never played volleyball.

: These two thought bubbles pop up every morning, so I’ll skip them.

: “Hm? Are you looking for someone? Haru? She was thinking about setting up a shop in Kichijoji. She went to inspect the new location with the president. She sure looked happy for doing a bunch of busywork.”

: Once you visit Ann, the game will let you warp to Shibuya… where we have to walk to the station. The station is where the other interesting NPC is.

: This is the hobo hitman from the Mementos request.

: Maruki has even infested the world map. We can only go to places that have a party member in them, but today we’re forced to visit Haru. I even tried visiting Ueno (where Yusuke is) and the game would not let me.

: Haru is scouting out the location for “Foreheadland”, a bangs-free amusement park.

: “The research says this community is most interested in high-quality ingredients and a modern store design. Perhaps this location should focus more on organic produce, and a simple but elegant interior…”

: “Oh! Akira-kun? I didn’t expect to run into you here.”

: “I’m helping out my father today. We’re here to inspect a potential site for a new company store.”

: “Is this a friend of yours?”

: “Yes, he’s been a wonderful friend to me. He’s an underclassman at my school.”

: “…Or are you truly ‘just friends’?”

: “Geez, Father! Don’t jump to conclusions like that!”

: “Hahaha, calm down, Haru. I was merely teasing. But still… were such a man to apear in your life, make sure you tell me right away, understand?”

: “Oh, Father - is that jealousy I’m detecting?”

: Haru didn’t really have much of a personality in the base game, but I think the writers misunderstood what it is she actually wants.

: “It’s been quite some time since I last saw Haru like this. You must truly be a wonderful friend for her. Please keep being as good to her as you have been. After all, my daughter’s happiness is my own happiness.”

: “Father… oh, would you care to do something together, Akira-kun? We have a bit of free time, so we could grab a coffee or something.”

: “Yes he is, thank you. …Although he can be a bit overprotective at times. But, he’s honest and caring… he really is my ideal father.”

: “My dream? Oh, no, I wouldn’t call my life anything so drastic. After all, I’ve been so busy lately that I can barely handle what’s on my plate, so- wait… I just…”

: “O-Oh, okay…”

: “What!? That just now… that was…”

: “Haru? What’s the matter?”

: “Ah, nothing, Father! Nothing, really.”

: “You must be getting exhausted after all this surveying. Why don’t we take a break somewhere? My apologies for cutting this short - I do hope we’ll have the chance to speak more in the future.”

: “You’d think training would be a drag, but he sure seems to be enjoying it. …I’m a little tired from thinking too much. I think I’m gonna go for a walk and clear my head…”

: We’ll see what he’s having so much trouble thinking about after this update.

: “It’s not for sure or nothin’ yet, anyway. I’m just sayin’ the school’s gotten word of something like that.”

: I feel like the writers for Royal forgot that Ryuji exists. If you’ll recall, at the end of his confidant, the track team invites him back and he declines. The problem here is that Ryuji is kind of a non-character.

: It would’ve been better if they had done something else with him - say, have a world where he got to focus on school because Kamoshida never antagonized him, so he’s no longer at the bottom of the class.

: “Aw, you’re still jumpin the gun with this. I’m just trying my best so I don’t get laughed off the team by you guys.”

: “Akira? What’re you doin’ here? It’s still winter break.”

: “Ooh! That’s nice of you guys - how about an extra large beef bowl and some pork miso soup? Hey, why don’t you come with us, Akira?”

: I’m surprised he didn’t ask for the pork to be in chicken stock so he could go through the entire meat spectrum in a single meal.

: “Uh, yeah it’s fun, but whaddya mean? It’s just what I like doin’, y’know? I get all down when I’m not runnin’.”

: “My leg… oh, you’re worried about me? It’s totally fine, dude! No problems there since that injury a while back. And that was actually Kamoshida’s fault, so- wait… what? …Ain’t something wrong here?”

: “How do we know each other, anyhow? First we met in front of the station by school, then…”

: “Uh… sure.”

: And I’ve got to / make my decision / this time it could be my moment.

: “Whoa! The hell was that…?”

: “Uhh, nothin’! Sorry, I gotta get back to practice! See ya!”

: Finally, we can go visit Yusuke.

: “He sounded pretty emotional, said something about a piece finally getting recognition. Maybe you should check it out. …Hey… have you gotten shorter or something? I feel like I used to look up at you…”

: “Nevermind. You’re heading out, right? Stay safe.”

: All of the other party members are open as of today, and of course Makoto is in a spot where it’s very easy to accidentally run into her. In fact, that’s what happens tomorrow.

: “Take a look. My mother’s painting is finally receiving the public attention that it deserves. It’s on display for this week only, so I’m glad we have this chance to view it together.”

: “…I am truly blessed. I’ve waited so long to see this painting here. My drive to create a masterpiece of this caliber grows stronger every day… but thanks to my sensei’s patronage, each day also brings me closer to painting such an impactful work.”

: Yusuke’s reality is easily the laziest. What they should have done is obvious: made it so his mother never died and the Sayuri was finished… but that’d take effort.

: “Nothing in the world could make me happier than I am at this moment.”

: “Why, my sensei, of course - Madarame. Even after mother’s passing, Sensei never stopped advocating her work to the public. Not only that, he took me in and cared for me when I lost my only family… I truly cannot thank him enough.”

: Yep, they went the lazy route.

: “Ah, I just had a wonderful idea! Why don’t you come join us for dinner? Sensei’s been very interested in meeting you. Don’t worry - he’ll even pay for the meal!”

: “Yes, I’d say so, but… what’s this about, so out of the blue?”

: “The… ‘Sayuri’? That’s not the painting’s name… no, wait. That seems… something’s not right.”

: “What is… could I be making the same mistakes as I did before?”

: “Akira, I… actually - I’m sorry… but I’d like to be alone for now.”

: I had talked with Salty Vanilla about doing a Yusu-Gay for this scene, but it was too complex to draw. The idea was that Joker shatters Maruki’s hold on Yusuke with a single hug.

: “This is not how things should be.”

: Today’s the day I accidentally ran into Makoto.

: “We were just doing a bit of shopping. But soon, we’re going to celebrate our dad receiving the superintendent general award!”

: “Come on, Makoto, you don’t need to raise your voice over it. Remember Dad telling you earlier to just act like it’s no big deal?”

: “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it… I’m just so thrilled for him - it’s like he’s finally getting the recognition he deserves.”

: I wonder if Makoto was also stuck in a burning shrine, because logically that’s what her father would be getting the award for, given that she’s a shitty genderflipped Tatsuya Suou.

: “Well, I do feel the same way. So, what groceries do we need to pick up before we head home?”

: “I wonder what Dad would like me to cook… I made eggplant miso soup for your birthday…”

: I looked up some recipes for eggplant miso soup, and it sounds like the blandest goddamn thing ever - kind of like Makoto.

: “You had fried mackerel on yours, right? I can still remember how you pestered Dad about it until he cooked it for you…”

: “Sis! I didn’t pester him! He asked me what I wanted to eat for my birthday!”

: “Ooh, I just had an idea! Akira, would you like to join us for dinner tonight? Oh - I guess I don’t know what we’re having yet, though…”

: “Don’t you think it’s possible he already has plans by now? Look at you, Little Miss Outgoing! Where’d this turnabout come from?”

: Here’s the real question. Is Sae’s “world where all dreams come true” a world where she has the tramp stamp but no one finds it ridiculous, or a world where she never got it in the first place?

: “Uh - Yes? You think so?”

: “Yes, just as well as always. Even when she’s busy at work, she always has my back. I couldn’t thank her enough for all the… wait… something’s wrong…”

: “Mom died… so Dad raised us alone… and Sis…”

: “Wait, what are you saying?”

: “Makoto? What’s wrong?”

: “Oh… no, I’m sorry. It’s nothing. Sorry, Akira. We have more shopping to do. I’ll see you later.”

: “I think they said something about hunting for games over in Akihabara. They look like such a happy family.”

: “Akira…? I think something’s wrong with me… or, maybe not…? I don’t know… sorry, I didn’t mean to hold you up. Don’t mind me.”

: “I would never have been able to put such an amazing exhibit together all on my own. Everything was made possible thanks to the hard work of all the staff and my apprentices.”

: “But on the subject of the next exhibit, I was actually hoping to display some of my apprentice’s work instead of my own.”

: “Correct. Yusuke is the son of one of my apprentices. He inherited quite a bit of natural talent from his mother. As she is sadly no longer with us, I bear the responsibility to spread that boy’s talent to the world.”

: “A collaboration with Yusuke…? chuckle Yes, I think that’s quite a nice idea. Now I can’t wait for this exhibition to come.”

: The existence of this is a massive failure on the writers part. They acknowledged when they said that Maruki was supposed to be designed to not be hated that the other villains were.

: Having Madarame here isn’t exactly helping the “Accepting Maruki’s reality isn’t a bad ending” argument.

: “But… but… can’t you feel it!? All the limited editions and the gaming gear… it’s the store’s fault for being a one-stop shopping emporium for gamers! Soooooo… mom?”

: I feel like this is half a step away from being an advertisement.

: “No, ma’am. Do you think I get supplemental grants with nothing but puppy-dog eyes? Motion for additional funding: denied.”

: “Hrrghhh, my case was dismissed… hm? Akira?”

: “Oh hey, look who stumbled into us. C’mon, hurry up and pick something already. You still wanna get lunch after this, right? We can take him too now.”

: “Oh, what a thoughtful gentleman. Hear that, Futaba? Sojiro’s gonna treat us all to lunch.”

: “Hey, don’t go putting words in my-”

: “Really!? Then, back to Leblanc, people - it’s curry time!”

: “Uh, you eat that all the time, though…”

: You know, I just realized something. I’m not sure whether this scene is decently written or the result of the writers for Royal not even reading the script of the base game before they wrote the expansion.

: If you’ll recall, Futaba barely knew Sojiro until after her mother died - up until that point, she only really knew him as a guy who worked with her mother.

: On one hand, you could say that the reason Sojiro is here is because this is his dream world as well - he did mention wanting to get together with Wakaba in his confidant, and this setup makes sense that way.

: On the other, given that the writers for Royal feel like they barely played the base game, I’m not so sure.

: “That’s 'cause it’s the best!”

: “You really can’t get enough of that curry, can you, Futaba? I mean, she does have a point.”

: “Heh… thanks for the glowing review.”

: “Sound good, Akira? I KNOW you know how awesome Sojiro’s curry is!”

: Actually nah, this scene sucks because they squandered it.

: Out of all these scenes, this one should’ve been the strongest. There should’ve been an element of Futaba consciously accepting Maruki’s reality and trying to make the player feel like shit for taking that away from her.

: I would also have had Maruki appear in all of these scenes. They had no problem overusing the fuck out of him when it didn’t matter, but for some reason were afraid to use him when it does.

: “Of course! Sojiro and Mom worked together to improve its flavor, y’know. And… huh?”

: “What’s that supposed to mean? What are you getting at? Is it a dream? No, but…”

: “I still don’t get it… c’mon, why won’t you just tell me…?”

: I feel like they should’ve re-posed the model for this one, because it looks like Futaba’s high on something.

: “What WAS that!?”

: “Are you all right? You two are getting a bit weird.”

: “Could this be a case of raging hormones? Look how serious they’ve both gotten.”

: “Um… it’s nothing! Let’s go, Mom. The curry can’t wait! Akira’s still got stuff to do! I assume! Well, see ya!”

: “I’ve uncovered a few things in my investigation this week… so I thought I’d share my findings with you.”

: “First, regarding Maruki himself… he’s been researching ‘the treatment of patients through changes in their cognitions’ since his college years… you already knew about that, correct?”

: By the way, “cognitions” isn’t a word. Cognition is both the singular and plural.

: “Maruki’s work apparently had enough investors that he was planning to break ground on a research facility somewhere… and as you know, those plans never came to fruition - his funding was cut off and his research was ended for him.”

: I’m pretty sure you mean “grants”, not “investors”, unless Maruki was trying to be Umbrella Corporation or something. Cognitive psience Chris Redfield into seeing everything as a boulder.

: “It’s probable. However, we can’t be certain of the reason why - at least with our current understanding. What was the purpose of his research into cognitive psience? Doesn’t it feel like there’s more to the story?”

: This is dumb because Akechi should know why. The answer is “because Shido” by the way.

: “For example… maybe his research was stymied by someone else for their own reasons. Anyway, that’s all I could dig up about Maruki’s history.”

: “The only thing that’s become clearer is his stance on using cognitive psience - he’s dead serious about ‘saving’ people. He distorted reality itself to make his dream come true. I can only imagine how delighted he is right now.”

: We fucking know! Stop recapping shit that happened not even an hour ago! Fuck!

: “Ah, that reminds me - there was one more thing I wanted to tell you. About the reality Maruki’s put us in… it seems that Okumura and Wakaba are both considered alive by all accounts.”

: “They aren’t mere illusions, or cognitive beings - they truly are alive and existing in this world. In fact, their deaths seem to have never taken place at all in this reality.”

: Stop stating the fucking obvious!

: “Shido was the only one arrested on the crime of attempting to overthrow the government… it seems the Phantom Thieves were causing a stir in this society as well, but there’s no record of your arrest now.”

: Dammit! I thought you were fucking cool now!

: “Basically, in this reality, you and I haven’t committed any crimes. I don’t understand how Maruki was able to distort reality to such extremes… but at the very least, he was being honest when he told us he’d make such revisions - and rather convenient ones.”

: “That’s quite the funny joke. It makes me want to puke. Remaining in this Maruki-revised reality means living under his thumb forever… and I refuse to live like that. I’ll be the one to choose my path.”

: You know, something I just thought of: technically, he’s living in Philemon’s reality since the ‘real’ reality got destroyed in Innocent Sin. Why is he okay with that?

: “That’s how I’ve lived up to now, and it’s going to continue from here 'til the end… but what about you? You saw them for yourself, didn’t you? Your friends seem to have taken a liking to Maruki’s version of reality.”

: “Don’t tell me you’ve changed your mind after seeing them…”

: “I see. I pray your answer doesn’t change when we face Maruki tomorrow. That takes care of the info I wanted to share. See you soon.”

: “With Akechi? You guys are really hitting it off lately. Of course, that’s not a bad thing. Hey, so… about what you said before… you know, that stuff about my happiness…”

[Timrod]

Summary

: After that horrible dream, I found this in a folder titled “Bisexual Morgana Route” that appeared in my LP folder. I have no idea where it came from, but it looks like Salty Vanilla did it.

: This may or may not have come up in conversation while I was playing that part of the FF7 remake several months ago.

: “You know, that stuff about my happiness… sorry - it’s nothing.”

: “No. Tell me. I insist.”

: “Well… I’ve been thinking… and I think that if you go to the stadium tomorrow… something might happen to me.”

: “And, well… there’s something I’ve always wanted to do, but couldn’t ask for… but I think now might be the time.”

: “And what’s that?”

: “I want… I want… a date with Lady Ann.”

: “…You know, a few months ago, I would have air horned you for that. But… I’ll give her a call and see what I can do.”

: “It’s just… that isn’t the only thing I want.”

: “Let me guess, you want sushi, right? I’ll take you for lunch. Akechi and I can wait to go to Odaiba. We don’t need to go right in the morning.”

: “That’s… not it. I, um… also wanted… a date… with you…”

: (Oh no…)

: “I talked to Lala-chan at the bar, and she even helped me pick out a dress for you and everything…”

: (Oh god no. I’m all for Maid Yusuke, but this…)

: “Pleeeease, Joker? I’d be so sad if something happened to me…”

: “Do it! Do it!”

: “Futaba? What the hell are you…”

: “I’ll go on a date with him, but only if you date him too!”

: “Futaba, did you wiretap my phone and send it to every-”

: “Joker, you must do it. I absolutely must see this.”

: …Fine. I’ll do it for Yusuke. (I mean, that one burly sword guy did it… and it’s not like this reality is sticking around once I kill Maruki.)

[SpammyV]

Sorry that might’ve been me, the monkey’s paw was starting to stink so I doused it in Febreeze until it flipped me off and uncurled.

Weird though, the thread says you’re playing Persona 5 Royal, but you actually seem to be playing Persona V: The Final Frontier.

[drcakey]

@SpammyV

Weird though, the thread says you’re playing Persona 5 Royal, but you actually seem to be playing Persona V: The Final Frontier.

In Star Trek V, Kirk can’t be mind-controlled because he’s a god. In P5R, John Persona can’t be seduced into the new reality because he’s an SMT protagonist with no ego or desire of his own, and thus has no wishes to have fulfilled.