Click Here for Update 46
: This update’s going to be shorter than it should be, but that’s fine.
: “Oh, and I brought an art book I would like to read with you… if we are not planning to infiltrate today, why don’t we search for ideas between the pages of this book?”
: Fortunately, I deleted Nigi Mitama off-screen: we don’t do anything with Maruki until September. We have the Persona for this.
: This is one of the first confidant events you wouldn’t see on the reset-heavy route. If this were the reset-heavy route, we’d be fighting the boss today.
: “This is also a fine place to relax and enjoy a good book. Yes, I’ll be visiting more often. You know, I never asked.. what kind of art do you like?”
: Joker spits out his coffee. “Look, Yusuke, I really think we should save that for marriage. Nothing good can come of talking about art preferences before then.”
: “Yes, of course. You judge art on a piece-by-piece basis, not by genre. I’ve been blind this whole time.. looking at something without any preconceived notions.. is this what it means to ask the heart?”
: Joker wipes the sweat from his brow. “Thank YHVH that’s over.”
: “Thank you for sharing your opinion. It was enlightening.”
: For this, we get five points to Charm and three points to Yusuke’s confidant.
: During scenes like these, we can ask whoever Joker’s with to go get coffee or go to the bathhouse. Unfortunately, this is where I had to do Kawakami’s rank 10 scene.
: On a side note, I found out today that Umamusume (a garbage single-interest anime about racehorses turned into anime girls) has a character named Kawakami Princess and as far as I’m concerned it is now canon that Kawakami does the whole Helltaker furry bit only as a horse for her Rank 10.
: Kawakami: “Bam! I’m an anime horse now! High schoolers love horses, right?”
: Joker: “I am getting the air horn.”
: Instead, we do a crossword puzzle and then do Kawakami’s rank 10 off screen.
: This is another scene you wouldn’t see on the reset-heavy route.
: We have a message from Kasumi that we’re forced to look at. We’re nearly maxed out with her until after the end of the base game, and will finish her confidant on the 10th.
: “Sorry to bother you while you’re enjoying your after-meal coffee.. but I’m gonna open up shop soon. You either need to go upstairs or get out of here.”
: “Alibaba doesn’t know what’s happening. I’m sure she’s getting anxious… we’ll just have to try and appease her for a while…”
: “It’s really something to see, man. So if we’re not gonna be meetin’ up with the others, wanna read?”
: “The fight between the main guy and his rival really gets me goin’. I want 'em both to win! So, hey. Who do you usually root for? The main hero or the rival?”
: Neither, because I’ve been over shonen battle garbage for years. If you’ve read one, you’ve read them all.
: “Oh, really? Me too! Rival characters are cool, but things don’t always work out for ‘em. I really get that. Gah, I gotta keep readin’.. it’s cool if I read the whole thing here, right?”
: I love how unrealistic this scene is. This is 2016, Ryuji would be reading that either on a laptop or on his phone. Anyway, we get five points to Guts and three to Ryuji’s confidant.
: Unfortunately, we’ve got more stats to grind.
: We need to go to Chihaya quick and get a boost to Guts.
: Two things I immediately wonder: does she call it “Yakuza” in the Japanese script, and does Persona exist as a movie in the Yakuza universe?
: I got an answer. In the Japanese script, it’s apparently a reference to a yakuza film called Outrage, which is also directed by Takeshi Kitano.
: Persona 5 takes place right around the same time Yakuza 6 does, so I’m imagining a 50+ year old Kiryu sitting in a movie theater and going “Man, this franchise really jumped the shark.”
: This, by the way, is not the only time Yakuza comes up in Persona 5. In Strikers (which released in Japan right around the same time Yakuza 7 did), Makoto talks about how she wants to see “Dragon: Like a Yakuza” in the theater.
: Ten points to Guts. Guts takes a total of 113 points to max, so we’ve gotten just over 10% of the total points we need to max it in one day.
: Funny enough though, Guts isn’t the first stat we’re going to max.
: “Um… do you think it’s weird if a girl likes movies like this?”
: “R-Really!? Thanks.. I think this is the first time I’ve been told that. Sorry that I called you over so suddenly. It felt weird watching a yakuza film all by myself…”
: “I had fun, though, thanks to you. Okay, let’s start heading home.”
: Here’s the worst part of this. We’d have to do this even if we were on the reset-heavy route, because Atlus hates everyone.
: “Sorry for dragging you along.”
: I have to wonder if Akechi is like Lothric in Dark Souls 3 in that he was born in that sweater-vest and has worn nothing but the sweater-vest since birth.
: “I’m glad you like it. This suits you, huh? I wasn’t sure if you were the type.”
: “And we even got the second detective prince here, too - w-wait, what!?”
: “Uh, I’m just here for material on a fluff piece. Date spots for kids these days, that kinda thing. But what’s not important! Why are you with Akechi-kun?”
: I feel like they kind of forgot that Ohya works for a copyright-friendly version of Japan’s largest daily newspaper and not a teen magazine like Maya did. In fact, I’m not sure Hashino knew she wasn’t Maya.
: “I invited him out. We’re fairly close, after all. You are, huh…?”
: “Oh, uh… don’t mind me. I’m just a reporter. But who would have guessed you were friends with the famous teen detective? And unlike you, he’s pretty hardline anti-Phantom-Thieves, right? Mind if I ask a couple questions about you two?”
: “Oh, you’re down? I was just kidding. I’m no model journalist, but I’m not dumb enough to pry into a high schooler’s private life. I thought this report would be boring, but I got a nice surprise out of it.”
: “Well, see you next time I need info.”
: “You have some friends in the media, I see. And if I heard right, you two have some sort of professional agreement?”
: “Oh, I wasn’t worrying about that. Of course, if you have to explicitly deny it, then… no, just a joke. I’m sorry if I’m prying. You truly are interesting.”
: We’re going to start Iwai’s confidant tonight, but first.. shopping time.
: The key thing here is to buy the Elysian Robe for Ann and Makoto, because the next boss’s favorite thing is spamming fear.
: “That was a custom gun that I modified to make it look as real as possible. …I had a customer who was interested in it. You helped me out by smugglin’ it outta here so that I didn’t get caught by those detectives.”
: “…You’re an accomplice now, so don’t go snitchin’. I got everything on my security camera.”
: Yeah, sure. “Custom gun” and not an actual handgun.
: “Look, the one you gave me only had one anime girl on it. I want one with the entire cast of Love Live on it, and I’m sure you have one.”
: “Huh… wanna talk in the back?”
: Joker has read exactly three pages of Upotte, which is about two more pages than most people are capable of reading.
: “…At your age? …Well, I guess you got the heart of an enthusiast. Heh, you’re a strange one, kid.”
: “…Wait a sec. chuckle Yeah, this could work. Hey, I can grant that wish of yours… but you better have the money. These things are worth hundreds of thousands of yen per unit. Sometimes they even reach the millions, depending on how I feel.”
: “S’that right? Look, I ain’t a bad dude. I’ve been known to compromise, from time to time. For example… you help me out with my ‘business’… smugglin’ goods, destroyin’ evidence… and as a reward, I’ll introduce you to the special menu, with good prices for a punk like you.”
: Iwai once attempted to save the President from being kidnapped by ninjas but just kind of gave up halfway through.
: “…Whaddya say? Not bad, huh?”
: “That’s on a need-to-know basis, and you don’t need to know. Gotta fight evil with evil… I need a pawn of my own. Don’t talk to no one about this. Got it? Just follow my orders.”
: He joined guns as an industry to end guns as an industry.
: “Now what’s it gonna be? You gonna take my deal or what?”
: “…That’s fine. Okay, I’ll work on that special menu for you. You should be grateful.”
: Can you believe we only have two more confidants left?
: “Oh, yeah. When I don’t got any business goin’ on, I’ll have you do some miscellaneous chores. Clean… run errands… there’s plenty for you to do around here. Must be pretty excitin’ for an enthusiast like you, huh?”
: “When I text you from that ID, it’ll be ‘cause I need help around the shop. Just so you know, if you get caught or anything, I never met ya. Nothin’ to do with me. We clear?”
: “If you want somethin’, you’re gonna have to work for it.”
: “Yeesh. Take it easy there, cowboy. You’re that eager to get into it, huh? I’ll send a message when everything’s ready. Hope I can count on you, kid.”
: I went back to the shop before doing anything to show off gun customization. You can equip one part, and it’s expensive enough that it’s usually not worth doing until near the end of the game.
: Then I stop off at Chihaya again, because it is time to sit.
: “This couch reminds me of Yusuke. I will buy it with the $3,000 I still have on me, and it will become our couch with no felines or horny people allowed.”
: “More comfortable than you will ever know.”
: Three points to Guts. I want a scene where Joker takes this couch to Leblanc and during the next Phantom Thieves meeting no one realizes Yusuke is there because he just blends right in.
: “Well, I was thinking of getting in shape first. And who better to help with that than Ryuji, right? Why don’t you join in too, Akira? We can train together!”
: “It’s pretty sweet, huh? Not too many people gettin’ in your way. Anyways, uh… what’re you tryin’ to do here?”
: “I want to slim down!”
: “Huh. You tried joggin’?”
: “Aerobics alone aren’t enough! I want to tone up too, so I need to start lifting weights. Plus my shoulders are drooping, I wanna make my biceps leaner, and I need to straighten my back out!”
: I’m surprised Ann doesn’t have some kind of back issue given her posture in battle.
: So what you’re saying is that YOU ARE HUGE, THEREFORE YOU HAVE HUGE GUTS! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR YOUR GUTS! RIP AND TEAR! HERE COMES THE NIGHT TRAIN!
: “Uh, what the hell’s that even supposed to mean…? Anyways, motivation’s good n’ all, but you’re not gonna be able to move tomorrow if you do all that shit.”
: “Then you come up with a training regimen for me.”
: “Ugh, you’re such a pain.”
: “Eff that. Quit thinkin’ you’re some sexy character in an anime. It’s sad watchin’ you like this.”
: “What!?”
: “First off, one of them sexy characters’d never come to the gym in their PE uniform.”
: “How am I supposed to know that!? I’ve never even been to the gym before today!”
: “Hi! Oh, yes. Definitely. Even a smaller article would be great! Huh…? It fell through? Yeah… Uh, I guess that’s okay… Mm-hm…”
: “I was supposed to be in two magazines the month after next, but apparently one cancelled on me. It was a black-and-white shoot, so they said I wouldn’t stand out.”
: “It sounded like fun though. It was about the everyday life of models…”
: “Guess you just gotta find somewhere you do stand out then.”
: “Huh.. there has to be somewhere my vibrant charm will shine, right!?”
: “Yeah!”
: “Uh, where…? Hey, speakin’ of magazines, there was a real pretty girl in that one you said you were starrin’ in. She’s got this innocent vibe, but she’s sexy too. Now that’s what real charm looks like to me.”
: What you are about to witness is Ryuji walking right into his own death.
: “…Were there photos of me too?”
: “Uh, yeah.”
: “…And did she have long, brown hair?”
: “Yup, that’s the one! You know her!? You gotta introduce me, dude!”
: You know what? This scene didn’t suck. I think it’s the only one in Ann’s entire confidant I don’t hate, because it’s actually about Ann and not about Shiho or Mika.
: It kind of fills all the checkboxes. It’s a scene that’s actually about Ann [✓], doesn’t repeat information we already know [✓], and doesn’t overstay its welcome [✓].
: “But for some reason.. I feel… satisfied…”
: “That’s what workin’ hard feels like. Not bad, huh?”
: “Yeah, that was actually… pretty fun. I think it was because the two of you were here with me. I had to prove I was working extra hard.”
: “It’s simple stuff like that that’ll help you keep pushin’.”
: “Dammit, I wish I had thought of that…”
: “Uh, this ain’t a competition.”
: “Mom forgot to buy stuff for dinner, so I guess I gotta head home now. Seeya, guys.”
: Joker reaches a hand out. “Wait. Put her on speakerphone.” Ryuji starts sweating, as he too is a secret orphan.
: “Ryuji just can’t say no when his mom needs help, huh. …I’m actually a little jealous of the relationship they have. I mean even growing up, my parents were super busy.”
: “They always told me I was strong, that I’d be fine on my own. I was free… but I was lonely. I’d make friends, but we moved a lot.. and every time, I had to start all over again.”
: Did I say I didn’t hate this cutscene? Scratch that, it should’ve ended right when Ryuji left, and now Ann’s telling us shit we already know.
: “I actually got used to the loneliness.. but that all changed once I met Shiho.. the world seemed so hopeful. I heard her rehab is going well… she’s going to be officially transferring schools soon too…”
: God dammit this was SO CLOSE to being a good scene. So fucking close.
: “I need to show her that I’m working hard… and that she doesn’t need to worry so much about me.”
: “Right. She needs to see how much I’ve learned from her…!”
: I thought about it for a while, and I realized that if you think about it, we know less about Ann than we do about Makoto - even though this is Ann’s Rank 8 event and we’re at Rank 4 with Makoto.
: “Come on, let’s go home. …I might have trouble moving though. My legs are killing me.”
: Well, weird place to insert this, but while I was working on this update, I got a message on Twitter about what the phone says when the party is guessing for the navigation app.
: According to this, the phone is saying 該当しません which translates to “Not Found”.
: “Gah! Oogh… my muscles are so sore right now… going home took me more than twice as long as usual… but I’m really proud of the work I put in today. I would’ve just given up if I went alone.”
: “I’m so glad I had you guys with me. You two are the best! …I wonder if this is how Shiho felt with her rehab? Being able to push herself becomes someone was there with her.”
: “Wait, but what if she flat-out denied it!? That’d be so sad and embarrassing! But, well… no matter what, I’m gonna stay by Shiho’s side. I want to stick with her until the very end.”
: “Not much time left now until Shiho switches schools… I need to up my coolness so she can take off without worrying about me. …Gah! Oh! I forgot how sore I was…”
: We now need to use that Guts boost we got for a second trip to Kichijoji. I don’t know how you’re supposed to find half this stuff without a guide.
: Across from the accessory store is this building, which you can never go in and as far as I know doesn’t serve any real purpose. In fact, you might not even know what it is just looking at it.
: What’s kind of funny is that “Donut Shop” is actually the name of the business and not just a description. I had to look up the katakana because I’m bad with it, but it reads “Donut Shop 360”.
: “Here’s a pop quiz. How many donuts do you think this sign has?”
: “Mewhehe.. are you sure about that?”
: “Do you think you got it right? The answer is…! Nope! Too bad! The answer’s 10! Did you see the donut on the left? That counts as one.”
: “Sorry to poke fun at you. But wasn’t it pretty exciting?”
: You get two points to Guts either way - three in our case because of the bonus. I’ll get it right in my next recording because I may have accidentally permafucked the 31st without saving again.
: We spend the night with Chihaya. Unfortunately, we don’t rank up.
: Next time, we’ll infiltrate the pyramid, kill most enemies in one hit, get Lilim to be even more overpowered, get amazing RNG, and make another bullshit overpowered Persona.