Click Here For Update 42
: Today, we actually get a unique conversation at the subway platform. I don’t know why the writers didn’t do more of these and less of… what they actually did.
: “I just heard this, but apparently we’re havin’ a summer festival soon! I heard there’s gonna be shit like kebabs, steaks… the hot stuff! Dude, I am so PUMPED!”
: In the grim future of 20XX, there is only meat, and the looming shadow of barbecue.
: “Well, duh! What else would you want? Oh man… I can’t stop thinking about meat… piping hot, juicy meat… oh man, now I’m hungry. Let’s get going already!”
: Joker instinctively pulls out his air horn because even if Ryuji isn’t horny, it’s close enough.
: The next few days are nothing but exams, so let’s do this.
: Well, fuck. I hate geometry. I have not even the slightest idea how you’re supposed to go about solving this.
: “This looks tough, but let’s calm down and think it through.”
: “Ugh. Baozi, in this hot weather…? Well, never mind. I think this came up in class. They were invented by that famous guy from Romance of the Three Kingdoms, right?”
: I’ve read a bit of ROT3K but I barely understood it or remember much apart from the most major characters. Lu Su was an adviser to the Kingdom of Wu and led Sun Quan’s army until he died.
: Cao Cao on the other hand was the head of the Kingdom of Wei and also a bloodthirsty tyrant. His recipe for Baozi would probably involve stabbing the shit out of people.
: “Yeah. The strategist of Shu. I think the story was about a river overflowing somewhere Zhuge Liang visited. And they were offering something to quell the river…”
: “That’s it. A crazy story… and that’s how he came up with the baozi, right? This master strategist came up with the baozi to…”
: “Yeah. I think you’re right. The baozi were invented as an offering to a river spirit, to replace the tradition of offering severed heads! You finished in time!”
: Orihime’s Silk would make so much more sense as a name. Starry Canal sounds like one of those small towns in Florida.
: “You’ve seen all these before. You’ve got this, all right?”
: “This is going good. Looking forward to seeing your score.”
: And here I bet you thought we were done with pointless cutscenes added for Royal. Nope!
: “Congrats on surviving finals. Today was the last day, right? Say, would you happen to have some free time right now? There’s something I’d like to discuss - I promise it’ll just take a moment.”
: “Thanks! I know you’re exhausted, so I’ll make this quick.”
: He doesn’t make it quick.
: “It sure has heated up now that the rainy season’s passed. I just know my electric bill’s going to start climbing this month… anyway, as I’d mentioned, there’s something I’d like your opinion on.”
: “Well, I suppose that’s technically accurate. I’ve had something on my mind lately, and I want to hear your take on it. Okay, here goes…”
: “Oh - this is all hypothetical, mind you, but imagine there’s somebody for whom you have high expectations. They’re trying their absolute hardest to meet those expectations.”
: Is this about Hashino, because the answer is “Fire the entire management chain at Atlus and get someone more competent so this shit doesn’t happen again.”
: “Now, this person receives an awful lot of special treatment from people so they can perform to the best of their abilities. So, what do you think those people will do if the expectations leveled on this person aren’t met?”
: Oh, I know! I know! They’ll spend a year doing an LP dunking on their most recent game because they refused to localize the PSP version of Eternal Punishment!
: “Yep, that’s definitely true. When you work as a counselor… you always think ‘I have to help this person so their heart doesn’t break’ but… that’s easier said than done.”
: So what you’re saying is that you don’t want to unbreak their heart… or their giraffe?
: I have no idea if I used that song already but it’s about on par with the quality of Maruki’s writing. Macross was a mistake and Macross Delta was a bigger mistake.
: Realistically, if Maruki was a song, it’d be The Space Between by the Dave Matthews Band. The local radio plays that all the time when they need to fill air.
: “This world really is a callous one. No matter how much positivity or dedication a person has… just a bit of influence from their peers can easily mess with their heads.”
: “Every time I’m confronted with such a situation, I can’t help but grasp the limitations of therapy as a profession.”
: “I see - you’re approaching reality from a rational point of view… no, it could actually be that you understand reality’s unfairness, yet you’re willing to stand up for it.”
: “That may be the reason you’re at this academy now.”
: “What I meant was, if we want to truly help people stuck in a predicament like that, we need a fundamental solution.”
: And then Maruki pulls out a crystal skull and talks about how he needs to steal everyone’s hopes and dreams so he can power an alien spaceship underneath Tokyo.
: “Hmm… nothing really comes to mind at the moment. This is just a thought, but what if we got the Phantom Thieves to change our hearts?”
: “Maybe have them shift our feelings so we won’t lose to this unfair reality? It would ultimately be for the positive.”
: So what you’re saying is you want the Thousand Year Kingdom of God. Joker, shoot him.
: “Haha, good point. You’re right. Sorry, I was just thinking out loud. I seem to have lost track of the time. I should be getting back to my work. Our conversation’s been very enlightening. Thank you.”
: I wish I was joking when I say that it will not even be a day until we run into another one of these stupid cutscenes.
: “I can get back to actually sleepin’ in peace…”
: “Huh. You must have been studying pretty hard if it kept you up at night.”
: “Nah, I was up playin’ video games. Slackin’ off is just too much fun…”
: “I know, right!? I kept cleaning my room instead of studying! It might even be TOO clean now…”
: “You two are perfect exemplars of what escapism can mean.”
: sigh “And I can only imagine what the end result will be.”
: “Whatever, it’s over with now. Who cares about that anymore!? What’s real important is the Phantom Thieves’ popularity! Ain’t it amazin’!?”
: “It kinda feels like our time’s finally here!”
: “I have even heard people excitedly speculating about our next target. We will have to choose carefully.”
: “There’s no need to hurry. We should spend some time thinking it over.”
: Keep this in mind, because we’re about to witness something tomorrow that will not make any goddamn sense.
: “You sure are on top of THESE kinds of things…”
: Tonight is one of those nights where we’re forced to sleep early.
: "You remember, the one I told you about?
: I got really, really fucking confused here. I assumed that Ryuji was talking about the fireworks festival on the 18th, but no. He’s actually talking about a new cutscene added for Royal.
: “Aw, c’mon - we’re all tired from the tests an’ shit, but just gimme a sec! I completely spaced on it until now, but the festival’s tomorrow. So, you wanna go?”
: “Hell yeah! I knew you’d be down! Let’s make sure to invite Yusuke too. He’s always down to chow. …I diiiid just remember they said it might rain tomorrow, though.”
: “Eh, whatever! No way’s it gonna rain on a day like this. See ya tomorrow!”
: “How would HE know whether or not it’ll rain? Sheesh, all worked up over a silly little festival… full of food… of all kinds…”
: “Well, I suppose you deserve to enjoy yourself, but be sure to keep a low profile, all right? Anyway, let’s get some sleep. Oh - and, uh, no sleeping in, got it? I’m gonna skip breakfast for this.”
: “Mm…”
: “Wh-what? Why’re you starin’ at my face?”
: “Ryuji - I have a favor to ask.”
: “A favor? Sure, you need some money for food or somethi-”
: “Not this time. I’ve actually been mulling over a new battle tactic for a while now… and I’d like you to lend a hand in bringing my idea to fruition.”
: “Ooh, a new move… that sounds badass! I totally want in!”
: “Well, it’s merely a rough idea at this point, but…”
: As it turns out, you actually can view the Showtime attacks when you unlock them in the Thieves Den - only they’re pre-rendered and in some cases have video glitches (Ann and Morgana’s has a mouse cursor visible). Time to go borrow some footage.
: Ryuji and Yusuke’s Showtime is called “Inglorious Beefbowls” in the US version and “That Man Did This For A Beef Bowl” in Japanese. The Japanese title is a reference to the film “Violent Cop” which is basically Dirty Harry if it starred Takeshi Kitano (aka Beat Takeshi).
: The US title makes no sense because the scene here is a direct reference to a scene in Violent Cop.
: I’ve only seen this scene in English. Ryuji sits down and goes “I’ll have… the usual.”
: In English, Yusuke’s VA goes “I’ve put my soul… into this bowl!”
: Anzu? What the hell are you doing here, get back in the Persona deck!
: I wonder if the magic wishing star can fix the fact that Ryuji is trying to fire a pump-action shotgun with one hand.
: Yusuke somehow manages to land a hit directly on the grenade, which is not how grenades work.
: This, by the way, is what we call ludonarrative dissonance because we all know that Anzu would’ve oneshotted Ryuji with Garudyne.
: I think you should have one with Joker instead. The good news is that all of our current party members now have a chance to proc a Showtime if they’re baton passed to.
: “Wasn’t that, like… way more detailed than some rough idea?”
: “Ha- I don’t deserve such praise… I would merely prefer to add a splash of beauty to an otherwise barbaric battlefield, so to speak.”
: “Sick! So, all we gotta do now is see how the Star reacts to your idea, right?”
: “We should consult Jose about this soon. However, I can feel my appetite growing after describing my idea…”
: “…Same here.”
: “It’s as if we’re walking around in an enormous sauna…”
: I should point out that not only is Yusuke wearing long sleeves, there’s a scene in Strikers where he goes to the beach wearing a jacket. In August.
: “Whose bright idea was it to come here?”
: “Yours…”
: “A TV crew, eh…?”
: “We should grab our kebabs and get outta here.”
: Hey, is she talking about us?
: “What the -”
: “What do we do, Akira?”
: “Good point. We’ll look even more suspicious if we panic now.”
: “They got us!”
: “Aw, hell… okay, I’m gonna ham it up and make some real cringey comments so they can’t use any of the footage.”
: To get an idea, Ryuji’s Japanese VA starts doing this sort of weird old man voice.
: Joker starts doing his real weird John Persona thing. “Yes. I am John Persona. I enjoy meat and meat by-products. Meat is an important part of every meal and a well-balanced breakfast.”
: “Uh… I’d say that we’re really lovers of fruit! Oh, and sweets! Sweets are just to DIE for!”
: “Phew, that was too close…”
: “That was truly cringeworthy, but are you certain they won’t air any of it?”
: “I’m pretty certain she thought that was a broadcast disaster. We oughta be okay.”
: Joker pulls out his air horn through reflex alone.
: “Oh, right! My kebab!”
: “Standing around in this sweltering heat was rather trying.”
: “And almost all the good stuff was already sold out…”
: “I didn’t even eat breakfast this morning. I’m starting to get lightheaded…”
: This reminds me of this time I went to an “Asian Festival” and the only food there was American-style Chinese food.
: “Even still, an occasion like this seems to make everything taste delicious… how mysterious.”
: I looked it up because I was wondering if kebabs are uncommon in Japan, and no, they’re apparently very popular in Tokyo and have restaurants all over the place that serve them.
: What I’m saying is that Joker could probably find one in Shibuya without having to come out to… wherever this is.
: “B-But look, Akira - at least we have shaved ice!”
: “Welp, we came all the way out here, so we might as well go check that thing out.”
: “What thing?”
: “I heard they’re building some kinda huge-ass stadium or somethin’ nearby. Wait, was that what it was?”
: “You don’t know what you’re talking about, do you?”
: I know that this is another cutscene that was probably written as a confidant event but that Atlus felt the need to shoehorn in for some reason.
: “A stadium… well, such buildings often have intriguing architecture - I’d love to see it for personal reference.”
: “Yeah? Then c’mon, let’s go.”
: So okay, what was the point of that cutscene? Can anyone tell me what that cutscene did to advance the plot?
: “They barely even started?”
: “We seem to be premature speculators.”
: "I guess this is what people call ‘jumpin’ the gum.’ "
: “Jumping the gun.”
: You would think that Ryuji’s last line would have him saying “jumpin’ the gum” in English to go with the whole “He’s not very good at English” bit. He says it in Japanese, and Morgana corrects him in Japanese.
: I feel like it’s just overdoing the whole “Haha Ryuji is dumb” thing to a level that it didn’t really need to go to.
: “There ain’t nothin’ to do here - you wanna go grab a bite somewhere?”
: “Sorry, I’m considering picking up more art supplies. I have a summer assignment to work on.”
: “…Also, the summer festival drained all my coffers. Even if I did grab a bite, all I could order would be water and a hot towel.”
: “Ah… in that case, we probably oughta just call it quits for today.”
: Okay, are you ready for this cutscene to go from zero to negative sixty in record time?
: Kasumi is rapidly turning into this game’s Poochie. "Anytime Kasumi’s not on screen, someone should be asking ‘Where’s Kasumi?’ "
: She’s not in Strikers not because Strikers was made separately from Royal but because she and Maruki are both aliens and died on their way back to their home planet.
: “Don’t you think she’s acting strange? You know, she did mention something about a meet earlier.”
: “Uh, ain’t you guys headed home?”
: Run, Yusuke! Save yourself!
: “Huh? Welp, see ya, then.”
: “Yes, catch you later.”
: Am I the only one who thinks Kasumi’s neck is kind of weirdly long?
: “Y-Yes. Did you come to see the stadium too?”
: “Same here. I needed to give myself a pep talk.”
: With the plot? Yeah, and Atlus could’ve just fixed it instead of doing… whatever this is.
: “Sometimes, when things get me down, I come here. Although, that doesn’t really answer your question, does it?”
: “I know this may get in the way of your plans, but would you be willing to join me for lunch?”
: “I’m always like this after a meet. In all honesty, I’d like to keep going… but any more will end up harming my performance.”
: “Simply put? It was a disaster. I’ve been feeling like I’m getting back into the natural flow of things, thanks to you, Kurusu-senpai… but when the moment of truth arrived, my body still wouldn’t move the way that I wanted it to…”
: “Yes, I’ve really hit a wall with this. Something similar happened to me in middle school - but back then, I had someone by my side that kept me going…”
: You probably don’t remember (because holy shit I looked back at my first couple of updates and what the shit was I even thinking) but we actually already heard about this from someone else.
: “I promised her we’d take the gold for our routines across the world… but I can’t stop worrying about my lack of improvement lately.”
: “I’ve really been throwing myself into practice, but I wonder if even that won’t be enough…”
: “Kurusu-senpai…”
: “You just keep on rescuing me, don’t you?”
: “Okay! No more brooding! There are still meets left this year. I’m going to start from scratch and train as hard as I can. Thank you so much for listening to all that!”
: “Now I feel like I’ve been recharged, mind, body, and spirit- … well, at least my mind and spirit are recharged!”
: “The best way to stave off hunger is with some vigorous activity! I’m going to jog home - take care!”
: After the fact, I thought about it a little bit and I think I can explain why that entire cutscene exists. I think what’s happening is that it’s the writers trying to address the issue of Makoto kind of taking over everything to the point of all the other party members existing solely to agree with her.
: I guess they figured that if they gave the other party members more screen time, people would get so bored they’d stop paying attention.
: I think that’s the only good part of that entire cutscene - even the writers acknowledged that Mishima is kind of unlikable.
: “Are you kidding me…? I hope Lady Ann and the others haven’t found out…”
: There’s also an optional IM conversation you can miss if you don’t go through your IMs.
: I think we all know that if Joker wasn’t busy with confidants he’d take Yusuke out to a very expensive dinner.
: “Sorry I couldn’t catch it for you. I always forget how short my arms are as a cat…”
: Tonight, we’re going to get the single biggest social stat boost we’ve ever gotten.
: First, we grip and sip for two points in knowledge. Ordinarily, this would be grounds for a Luck Reading for the extra point… but we’re using that for something else.
: Next, we make a stop at the DVD store to pick up a bootleg of The Walking Dead, which I imagine was made in Turkey and stars some random middle-aged guy the directors picked out of a bar.
: And NOW we do our Luck Reading… for Charm. Why Charm, you ask?
: We are going to watch a godawful romance movie.
: In just this one night, with the bonus from Craft of Cinema, we get ten points to charm.
: “I guess girls like me want that perfect, romantic kind of love you see in the movies.”
: giggle “Thanks for going along with it. Now that I think about it, that movie wasn’t geared toward guys at all, huh? But I’m glad you came with me! You’re such a good friend!”
: Is there a term for being friendzoned by someone you never intended to date anyway?
: I was kind of hesitant about doing the 18th in this update because this is where the big long exposition dump was in the base game.
: Ann ignoring the fact that Joker is not likely to be able to see the fireworks without his glasses on. Then again, it would’ve been great if at the last boss they had a cutscene where the boss breaks Joker’s glasses and he’s just like “You do realize I just wear those for looks, right? They’re not even prescription.”
: Joker stands up from his meal. “Excuse me, I think the cat needs a bath. A very long, very cold bath.”
: “Oh yeah, there’s a fireworks festival today… if you’re going, be careful. Those things get insanely crowded.”
: “It’d be nice to watch the fireworks with the chief someday. We could watch them right here at Leblanc… actually, no we couldn’t.”
: “Right when we were about to leave too… who is it?”
: Translation: We’ll be finding out who the next target is by the end of today.
: “What could he mean by an insane group…? Hm… let’s think about this after we get back. We don’t have much time, so let’s get going.”
: That’s right, our next target is the Insane Clown Posse.
: “The holiday means it’s as crowded on here as it is for morning rush hour…”
: “Wait, so all these people are going to the fireworks festival!? Huh… this should be fun…”
: The scene transition thing on the subway changes for certain holidays.
: “I feel like I’m being baked…”
: “Those girls are way too late…”
: “It must be taking time for them to put on the yukata. Why aren’t you two wearing one?”
: “I don’t got clothes like yukata. But man, you look way too normal in that.”
: “I Don’t Gotta Yukata”, the hit Italian-Japanese comedy starring Mamamia Amamiya.
: “Ah, by the way… the exams…”
: “I bet you got a big fat F on them.”
: “Shuddup! We- we don’t know that yet!”
: “Are we… getting hit on!?”
: I’d like to imagine Joker handing Yusuke an air horn, only to have Yusuke pull a belt of them out from underneath his yukata.
: “Waitin’ around’s a pain, so can we just go with these chicks?”
: “We’ll both apologize to the others later!”
: “How could you!?”
: “Uh, well… that’s…”
: “You know, Yusuke’s such a pretty boy, but he is really missing out because of what he says.”
: “I guess, but he’s more likeable since he stays true to his ideals. Definitely more than somebody I know.”
: “I heard that Ryuji’s pretty much failed his exams.”
: “Oh?”
: “Mona, you little-”
: “Hey, it’s gonna get crowded if we don’t get going.”
: “Agreed.”
: Man, that’s a QUALITY shot of Ann. Where’d her nose go?
: Oh man, I lined those up PERFECTLY. No idea how I did that.
: I don’t understand this shot at all. It’s not like anything was visible but a bit of her leg.
: There’s a lot that implies that if you don’t wind up dating Ann, she dates Ryuji instead.
: Pictured - two couples and the third wheel.
: Oh look, it’s Haru. What’s she doing being escorted into a limo?
: “I guess everyone had the same idea… what’s up?”
: “Mm, I think I just saw someone I know…”
: “You mean the girl in that black car?”
: Girl in the Black Car sounds like the title Sierra would’ve used for an award bait ending song if Jim Walls had the opportunity to make Police Quest IV.
: “Well, she’s got a ride… time to show your skills, Mona! We need you as a car!”
: “It’s not possible in the real world!”
: “We made such a commotion with the public, and this is what we get? Laaaame. Aren’t heroes that lurk in the shadows boring?”
: “I wanna change the world with a loud bang, like a huge firework! …Then again, we aren’t gonna find someone bigger than Kaneshiro that easily.”
: If I didn’t have standards I would put that one Katy Perry song here, but I have standards.
: “The rain is letting up. Though it’s regrettable, we should go our separate ways for today.”
: “Yeah. Let’s go home.”
: “I see. In that case, I have ways of making you talk.”
: It’s fine, Sae will just drug him and have him brought to a black site for interrogation.
: “Huh? What’s that supposed to-”
: “Thanks for the drink.”
: “H-Hey! We’re not done here yet!”
: “It’s nothing. It’s past closing time. Clean up the place.”
: And here’s our next opponent, a blatant reference to Anonymous.
: “The Phantom Thieves again…?”
: “Justice, huh?”
: This is a direct reference to a slogan that pre-dates Anonymous as a “hacktivist group”, and was used on 2008-era 4chan when they’d raid people.
: The original being “We are Anonymous. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us.”
: Anyway, this entire thing feels like a painfully out of touch writer trying to “connect with kids these days”
: “I don’t know the details, but there’s no doubt that they were provoked by the Phantom Thieves. Whether it’s a sense of rivalry or a simple attention grab given the recent trends, I cannot say…”
: “Regardless, it’s quite a nuisance.”
: Metal Gear?!
: “Both Medjed and the Phantom Thieves are nothing more than groups that uphold an egoistic justice.”
: “What a stupid thing they’re getting riled up on… Phantom Thieves, huh? What in the world are they? You know about them?”
: This feels like when I was a kid and Pokemon became a thing, and you had all these adults asking “Pokemons? What’re those? I don’t get it.”
: "What are they stealing though? I’m still having trouble getting that part… well, it’s about time I go home. Make sure you lock the place up. Also, about the stuff in the fridge - "
: “…Well, I guess it’s fine. Just don’t use too much of it.”
: Shut up, Makoto!
: God I hate these over-long IM things where they just restate the same thing like thirty times.
: “A world-class target, huh? If we can change Medjed’s heart, it’ll most definitely affect Mementos.”
: Before we end the day, there’s another optional IM conversation. I’m not sure if this existed in the base game or not.
: This is kind of a dumb ongoing joke where every event Yusuke attends gets rained out.
: We have to craft tonight for proficiency points. I wound up getting the extra point, and then…
: We weren’t supposed to rank up until the 21st. Higher proficiency also means more chalk dodges - I believe at proficiency 4 you’re more likely than not to dodge it.
: This means we’ll have a few extra nights near the end of September, which is good because I have a lot of stuff I need to show.
: Next time, we’ll get our exam results, continue to be under budget and ahead of schedule on social stats, and still be nowhere near the next dungeon.