Cash Rules Everything Around Me - Let's Play Yakuza 0

December 1988. Japan’s economy is bustin’ out, for lack of a better term. Kazuma Kiryu in Kamurocho, Tokyo and Goro Majima in Sotenbori, Osaka, are about to have their lives changed forever due to a small patch of land only a few square feet large that just so happens to sit smack in the middle of the Dojima Family’s plans. Most problems are solved by punching. Punching effectiveness is increased by a raw cash injection into the bloodstream. There are so many sidequests oh god help. Why is Mahjong so complex? Why is the dancing minigame so hard? The phone club minigame makes me wonder if straight people are OK? Why does it take SO FUCKING LONG to complete Real Estate Royale and Cabaret Club Czar? Which of the Dojima Lieutenants is actually the most evil?

I picked this game up on a sale because I had heard good things from my good buddy Mike, but had no idea it would quickly become one of my favorite games of all time. Yakuza 0 may in fact be one of the most densely-packed games I’ve ever played in my life. And the aspects with the best rewards tend to be super long and grindy yeah you know what I’m talkin about. There is no way I can 100% this but I will do as much as I can, this is going to be the longest LP I’ve ever done so I do hope you’ll dedicate what could very well be the next year and a half to joining me on this wild ride.

I will try and keep updates as frequent as possible, we tend to do 3 videos in one sitting, but I’m also not the only one in our group working on an LP so sometimes we do Kingdom Hearts instead which makes me drink. I’m also don’t quite hate myself enough to make this a 100% LP, there’s just too much in this game. I will try and do as much as I can.

Couple other housekeeping type things:


001: Shadows of Kamurocho
002: The Dojima Family
003: Knife Hits Gone Wrong
004: Big Dick Dastardly
005: Oh That’s A Baseball
006: The Yokomichi Silvers
007: Kiryu The TV Producer
008: Remember Your Safe Word
009: AraQ 3
010: Gimme One With a Beat
011: Meat Slice
012: Please Don’t Call Death Grips a Gamer
013: Munancho
014: Big Face Man Who Lost His Face
015: The Return of Cool Spot
016: Dynasty Warriors Yakuza
017: The Forbidden Doom Mod
018: Zero Reasons To Avoid New York City
019: Summon the Power of the God Hand
020: WLW Wednesday
021: The Prince of All Sayians
022: Miracle Johnson
023: Sega Mega System
024: Overly Excited About Bowling
025: Finally a Saturday
026: Super Mario Bros 2 Panic Mode
027: Hambones
028: Sonic the Hedgehog is a Twink
029: Shotput Fight
030: I Want Bizza
031: Galagmites
032: Call Me
033: Taxes
034: It’s Just One Of Those Days
035: F Sharp A Sharp Infinity
036: Papa-san
037: Antimicrobial
038: Bowling for Nugget
039: Dolce De Postcard
040: Just Call Me Daddy
041: Inert Materials
042: That Wall Really Looks Like The Ocean
043: Seven Second Delay With Kiryu and Majima
044: Miles “Majima” Prower
045: Frenched Fries
046: Like The Pinball Wizard
047: The Cabaret Club
048: Only Fans… of the Club
049: 24 Hour Cinderella
050: Traction Park
051: Off Da Railz
052: The Legal Chicken Nugget Limit
053: Vanilla Extract
054: Grunge E-Girls
055: Cheating at Duel Monsters
056: Reverse Johnny Bravo
057: We Missed Fat Bunny Week
058: Cockstoppers
059: Big Nog
060: Bimbofication (Tame)
061: The Lemon Video

Also available in convenient youtube playlist format.


It’s true, I did say it was good and since we are for once doing commentary on a good game (yea take that shit Kingdom Hearts) I’m very excited. PS I wish I smoked enough cigars to sound like Kuze.

damn binch??? an update??

002: The Dojima Family


kuzes the best

All of the lieutenants are great, but Kuze is definitely the best. I can’t wait to hear more reactions from what’s coming.

hey just wanted to chime in and apologize for the delay - most of us had some pretty wild misfortunes the past month, we havent been able to get together to record for a few weeks cause we’re all sorting out real life stuff. I hope to be back to this in a little bit.

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OK so here’s an update to tide you over until life stabilizes a bit.

003: Knife Hits Gone Wrong


OK so since the last time we recorded on a regular schedule I had to junk my old car and buy a new one, had some stomach problems and was back and forth to the doctor a bunch, and I finished a particularly rough semester.

In celebration I went over to Mike’s house last night and we drank some beer and watched alot of bad youtube food videos but we also recorded a Yakuza 0 while I was there.

004: Big Dick Dastardly


remember folks kiryu never killed anyone:stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

We’re back, baby

Happy E3 everybody

005: Oh That’s A Baseball


006: The Yokomichi Silvers


Boob? Not even once.

007: Kiryu The TV Producer

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Friendship ended with Brash Hooligan. Now, Mushroom Dealer is my best friend.

Seeing Kamurocho circa 1987 on the old engine is really surreal after playing Judgment and seeing Kamurocho gentrified.

Love the weird mushroom man.

It’s not just Judgement. Kamurocho in Yakuza 6 is like leaps and bounds better looking than Zero & Kiwami.

In 1987, one dollar equalled ~150 yen, so that bar owner was getting $45,000.

edit: I forgot the game takes place in 1988, not 1987. So the exchange rate is ~123 yen = $1.

008: Remember Your Safe Word


009: AraQ 3


Suddenly, Majima!

010: Gimme One With a Beat

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