Astrid and the Hollow Heart [CYOA]

I already answered this I think?

Yeah you’re fine I just wanted to put it to a formal vote.

Okay now that I’m home and I’ve got good internet again and I can finally THINK on this, here we go:
Information I’m willing to give:

First, I tell them some basic facts:

  1. Flossing is useless.
  2. Toilet paper goes under, not over.
  3. Coal or wood is better than gas for grilling.

Then, I tell them about humans, since they might not know much about us:

  1. We are mortal and die permanently.
  2. We have poor vision in the dark.
  3. Our fingernails, toe nails, and hair is all made of the same stuff.
  4. We use the same stuff our teeth are made out of as jewlery.
  5. We innately walk in large circles and have a difficult time walking straight lines for a long time.
  6. We need to cook our meat before eating it.
  7. Most Asian and Black people are lactose intolerant.
  8. We hate each other for the most insignificant and superficial reasons.
  9. We came up with the idea of borders, territory and property seemingly because we need excuses to kill each other.
  10. Our worst invention was religion.

Next, I tell them I know a great deal about human civilization and farming/ranching, which they might not be unfamiliar with such as:

  1. If you dig deep enough into the earth you can sometimes find water, ore, the remains of animals or minerals.
  2. Ore must be melted to be shaped into tools, it often has impurities so projects can require a lot of materials.
  3. You have to file the hooves and horns of domestic ranch animals because they are not active enough to wear their hooves down naturally and their horns are dangerous.
  4. Sheep can only be shorn once or twice a year.
  5. Rice is more economical than corn. Both are hard on the soil.
  6. Capitalism is specifically designed to enrich a small number of people while exploiting as many people as possible.

Then, I’ll tell them some things about myself since I am the biggest mystery to them:

  1. I can play the (I assume) kazoo (since Other won and the other Other voter didn’t specify.)
  2. My favorite gemstone is amber.
  3. Ferrets are my favorite animal.
  4. Fall is my favorite season.
  5. I’m left handed.
  6. I love the scent of pine.
  7. I’ve loved and been loved.
  8. I’ve killed before.
  9. I don’t believe in God(s).
  10. I don’t fear spiders.

Next, I’ll trade them world building in the form of pointing out the star lit sky to them and making up half a dozen constellations and stories about them.


They say Absorn the Never-Lost sacrificed his beloved cat Ryla rather than let old age take her. Since she had ever been his guide he gods saw to it that she ever lit the sky to guide the way for travelers.
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Two nations, once close allies, fell into war. Ishaq, a brave warrior, refused to fire on the opposing army, led by his lover Mariq. He unstrung his bow in defiance.
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So sold was she on the lies that hard work would be rewarded, Oscla washed and dyed clothes until she discovered her hands were worn down to the bones themselves, and she had nothing to show for it. Unable to continue working, she starved. Decades later, the Prophet Yeshul begged the Gods to mark the sky with the warning of her life.
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Have you ever been deep within the wood only to stumble upon a clearing? That would be the work of Gyrm the Feller who made way for humanity to tame the wilds and cleared out the trees and growing things. None know his reasons.
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The legends say there is a tree at the center of all things, a World Tree, and that the waters that sustain this tree flow eternally. The Ythgrel was a beast of unmatched greed and entitlement, which proclaimed to the world that it was thirsty. It drank dry rivers, ponds, and lakes, causing droughts and famines. The people begged the Ythgrel to stop but its thirst could not be slaked. Finally it found its way to the everlasting spring which fed the World Tree itself and it drank and drank. Surely, this would slake the great beast’s thirst? Surely the Ythgrel would find satisfaction? But no, the Ythgrel’s thirst was endless, but mercifully, its body was not. It drank and drank until it burst, the water rupturing out from its split body to rejuvenate the world its greed had laid bare.
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Astronomers to this day are still puzzling over this one and what it means… It looks like some kind of terrible mistake. Perhaps a warning from the heavens? Ah, but I don’t believe in such things.
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Finally, I’ll reveal a single secret about myself: I’m lonely.

What I want in exchange:
Well that depends on what I can get for all that. I would specifically like (in order of priority):
Gifts in the form of a compass to help me find my way, a skin of wine, something to protect me from the cold, something to protect me from the rain, and a kazoo.

If I still have some points to cash in after that I would like a kiss.

If you want this in the form of a genie wish let me know and I’ll figure out how to word this after sleeping.

Sorry about the delay I’m dealin with some shit in my house lately and work has been busy!

You begin negotiating with the fae.

[quote=“Jenner, post:109, topic:2025”]https://twitter.com/dril/status/473265809079693312
[/quote]You quickly find that pretty much any general information about humans is basically worthless. Orchid informs you that information is valuable if it is rare (not just rare to the fae) and humans are, for example, universally aware that they are mortal, so that information wouldn’t buy you two copper pieces to rub together.

[quote=“Jenner, post:109, topic:2025”]
Then, I’ll tell them some things about myself since I am the biggest mystery to them:

  1. I can play the (I assume) kazoo (since Other won and the other Other voter didn’t specify.)
  2. My favorite gemstone is amber.
  3. Ferrets are my favorite animal.
  4. Fall is my favorite season.
  5. I’m left handed.
  6. I love the scent of pine.
    [/quote]These truths however, get you a fair bit. The information isn’t novel, so it’s not super valuable, but it is only known to a scant few. They give you a wineskin full of wine. Juniper waves their hand across a piece of wood and it molds itself into a fine kazoo. She does the same over a bundle of sticks and it turns into a cute umbrella made of wood, leaves and flowers. They don’t have a compass and you get the feeling they wouldn’t have one since the needle would have to be made of iron.

You do not need warm clothes your outfit is more than adequate for anything the forest can throw at you. Probably. The fae are wearing barely anything at all they wouldn’t have much to offer anyway.[quote=“Jenner, post:109, topic:2025”]
7.I’ve loved and been loved.
8. I’ve killed before.
9. I don’t believe in God(s).
10. I don’t fear spiders.
[/quote]Orchid thinks about this information for a good long while and says, “We have an innate sense for these things, and well… Sorry, too many beings know this information for it to have any value to us.”

Your constellations get you nothing because you’re just making things up. They enjoy the stories but the fae trade in rare facts, not rare fiction.

[quote=“Jenner, post:109, topic:2025”]
Finally, I’ll reveal a single secret about myself: I’m lonely.
[/quote]Rose’s eyes light up at this. “A fact more true than you realize, Celandine, and one that runs contrary to generally accepted knowledge! Rare indeed. This will get you something fine.”[quote=“Thesaya, post:100, topic:2025”]
We should ask about the green light, terrain and eventual points of interest in the forest ahead and in return, make them ask you questions before offering any information for free.
[/quote]The four fae discuss among themselves and Juniper picks up a small black stone and you see a flash of light run across the surface. She hands it to you and says, “If you spend ten minutes in meditation focusing on this stone you will feel a strong pull in the direction you need to go. For you, all paths will lead there but this will help you to not get… too sidetracked.”

Orchid chimes in, “The fastest way between two points in the forest isn’t always a straight line, that stone will help you stay on the right path, but you’ll need time to focus on it so you’d be wise to not rely on it in a pressing situation.”

They tell you that the forest is capricious and they couldn’t possibly guess what you might encounter, only that if you’re intent on even travelling to the heart of the forest you will encounter resistance. The forest is thick with wicked creatures and wicked places the closer you get to the heart.

They also strongly recommend you avoid going into the Underground, if you can help it, all of the darkness of the forest springs up from deep below the earth.

Orchid tells you, “Anything else about the heart will require some truly precious information.”

Anything else?

You are carrying:
Traveler's clothing (worn)
Well traveled leather boots (worn)
Belt and scabbard (worn)
Old shovel
Root vegetables (1 meal)
Unadorned gold ring with the inscription
 "I'll always love you, Astrid --C"
Wineskin (fae wine)
Wooden kazoo
Cute forest umbrella
Small black stone of guiding

You are missing:
A picture, torn from its frame
Memories
Something extremely important
Your sword

:fire::fire::fire::fire::fire:

Just a moment. ::opens the ancient meme vault::
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Here you go:


(Here’s the entire almost 30 minute video, don’t say I never gave you anything.)

Time for a remix!

Since we’ve now got an instrument with which we are proficient we should play them a song:


(It’s uniquely appropriate for our current predicament!)

But seriously I’m gonna give a few other folks an opportunity to lay down some actions before I drop my reaction. Because I feel like I’m monopolizing.

1 Like

The two items we have that may be memory-related are the ring and the scabbard, so I’d say show those two items. Without memories we have no idea how much they’re actually worth, but the ring seems to be from a loved one, and who knows where the scabbard came from, and it could be unique even without the actual sword with it.

How did you manage to use the exact song I was thinking of when I said “kazoo?”

1 Like

Normally I’d advise against showing the ring as it has our True Name upon it. But since we are Bad Idea Buddies I say go for it!!

We’re kindred spirits, bonded through the powerful S-link of Bad Ideas.

But seriously I have no idea beyond the fact that we are both huge nerds who get hype for good stories and metaphors. I was excited when you dove in :3
The Only Thing I Know For Real was the first song that came to my head the moment kazoo won because (as I explained) it so uniquely expresses our current predicament. I am delighted we have hiveminded. :3

We should show them other things about us though, like our sweet tattoos!

…Wait, do we have tattoos?

  • Yes.
  • No.

0 voters

Many tattoos?

[poll name=InkIntensity]

  • 12+: Arm sleeves and shit, yeah!
  • 9+: Check out this badass skeleton army and skeleton band I have tattooed on my thigh.
  • 6+: Unfinished projects cobbled into unfinished projects.
  • >4: Very symbolic ones that are tied to core ideals or things that strongly resonate with us.
  • I voted no tattoos earlier.[/poll]

Assuming we have tattoos, do we show these fairies our sweet ink?!

  • Yes
  • No
  • ONLY the one of the dragon humping a carriage while it spits fire.*

0 voters

Whether or not we have tattoos do you guys want to get a tattoo done by fairies? Because I do. In fact: I’m editing Operation Ludicrous to include this new agenda.

[poll name=InkAcquisition]

  • No fairy tattoos, I hate fun.
  • Yes, gimme that fairy ink! YOLO!![/poll]
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    *You might be asking, which one is spitting fire? The dragon or the carriage? The answer is Yes.

Actually, that is probably not the best idea. If only because we don’t want our new Fae friends to know we lied to them that much. That being said, I still wanna know if the Fae know the scabbard’s deal is. It could belong to Astrid’s mother, a pirate queen… Astrid’s mother/pirate queen. Who knows!

Jenner. Please Jenner. Have mercy on me.

The inscription on the ring is on the inside, so you could show it to someone without them seeing the message if you put it on first.

[quote=“Fefnir, post:114, topic:2025”]
That being said, I still wanna know if the Fae know the scabbard’s deal is. It could belong to Astrid’s mother, a pirate queen… Astrid’s mother/pirate queen. Who knows!
[/quote]You show the fae your scabbard and ask them what they make of it.

Juniper approaches and inspects it closely for nearly a minute, then looks at you. “A fine piece of craft here, and I sense residual magical energy within it. The sword this scabbard held is surely a powerful artifact.”

They think for a good long while, and continue, “I’ll give you this one for free because I’d like to see where it takes you. I felt a similar aura emanating from that man who passed us by shortly before dusk.”

You unconsciously tighten your grip on the scabbard. You don’t feel anything from it yourself, but you’re also not a fae creature who is literally made of magic, so this doesn’t seem unusual.

Lol, I see we brave CYOA participants are occasionally prone to mischief-making, :smiling_imp: Good.

It’s clear this band of hellions wants us to have at least one tattoo. (The one with the dragon humping a carriage while it spits fire.)

But I need one person to break the deadlock on how many tattoos we have (because they’re all at 20%) before we can start showing off our tattoo(s.) (Unless there is a sudden rush of No Tattoos from somewhere which will make me sad.)

Please do the needful. :innocent:

Edit: If this insidious provocateur 50/50s all the others because trolling is a art I may pout mightily.
(You will not get the amazing reward of me MS Painting our tattoos if you troll me, friend!)

You’re a menace.

1 Like

These are the last votes before you take your leave of the fae and continue on your journey and we actually maybe accomplish something???

Do you tell the fae that your memories have been stolen in exchange for a substantial boon?[poll name=mem type=regular]

  • Yes
  • No
    [/poll]
    Do you show Juniper your ring to see if it is magical? You don’t need to show the inscription to do so.
  • Yes
  • No

0 voters

Do you use the guiding stone as you continue on?

  • Yes
  • No

0 voters

Everything Jenner posts is canon unless I say otherwise. YOLO.

1 Like

:ohdear: What a wicked way to incline me to behave. I have good news, I finished the constellations that don’t matter.

I have additional good news, we have tattoos, and we are getting a fairy tattoo. Before I begin to attempt to complete Operation Ludicrous, @Thesaya, @Ferrovore, @Mas, @Fefnir and others…Do any you folks have any actions before I revv up my nonsense and go hog wild?

Edit2: Behold, Fan Art:


What the hell was I thinking not making it the Blue-Eyes White Dragon?! I apologize. Shame on me.

You slip the gold ring on your finger and show it to Juniper. They look at it for a while and say, “Well, it’s completely nonmagical, unless you consider love or sentimental value to be a kind magic but that’s just silly nonsense for idiots.”

You show the fae your sweet tats and ask them for a new tattoo and Juniper tells you that’s not really their expertise. They give you a wooden token bearing a fae crest and say “If you come across a fae village in the future, that’ll get you what you’re looking for.”

You close your eyes and concentrate on the guiding stone. A couple minutes later you feel a strong pull in your chest, past the camp, in the same direction you had been heading before you met the fae.

As you stand to leave, Orchid motions to the forest past the camp.

“I’m sure you don’t completely trust our kind… Probably a wise choice, to be honest, but do be careful out there, this forest is not friendly or safe.”

You bow in thanks and take your leave.

You find a path and travel for two hours. Dawn rises over the forest and shortly afterwards you stop suddenly when you notice about fifty feet ahead, just off the path, the smoldering remains of a campfire with a figure wrapped in a dark cloak lying next to it. From this distance, they appear to be asleep.

What do you do?

You are carrying:
Traveler's clothing (worn)
Well traveled leather boots (worn)
Belt and scabbard (worn)
Old shovel
Root vegetables (1 meal)
Unadorned gold ring with the inscription
 "I'll always love you, Astrid --C" (worn)
Wineskin (fae wine)
Wooden kazoo
Cute forest umbrella
Small black stone of guiding
Fae token

You are missing:
A picture, torn from its frame
Memories
Something extremely important
Your sword

I want to suggest hitting them over the head with the shovel and tying them up with our belt, but I am hesitant because they might not be superduper evil. If they are evil, we will loose our chance to take em by surprise.

Eh, damn it, let’s be safe and apologise profusely if we are wrong; Whack and tie

[quote=“Thesaya, post:122, topic:2025, full:true”]
I want to suggest hitting them over the head with the shovel and tying them up with our belt, but I am hesitant because they might not be superduper evil. If they are evil, we will loose our chance to take em by surprise.

Eh, damn it, let’s be safe and apologise profusely if we are wrong; Whack and tie
[/quote]You creep up along the path to the sleeping figure as quietly as you can and loom over them. They are wrapped in a dark cloak with a hood and you can’t see their face.

You raise the shovel above your head, you’ve had this thing for ages and it wasn’t new when you got it. You think for a moment back to all the hard work it’s put in over the years.

You swing. Hard.

##CRAAACKK!!!

A gout of blood sprays out of the hood across the forest floor as the spade smashes into the head of the figure. The middle of the shovel’s handle snaps at the impact and the lower half bounces off into the underbrush.

You stand for a moment, the broken handle in your hand, a pool of blood slowly spreading around the figure’s head.

Suddenly, one of the figure’s arms lashes out at an unnatural angle and their hand wraps around your right ankle! The grip is like iron and the fingers dig into your boot. The figure has otherwise not moved.

What now???

Stab the arm with the broken end of the shovel. We’ll have to fuss about for the other section of the shovel later. And get some tape.

[quote=“Fefnir, post:124, topic:2025, full:true”]
Stab the arm with the broken end of the shovel. We’ll have to fuss about for the other section of the shovel later. And get some tape.
[/quote]You slam the broken handle into the figure’s forearm. It splinters into the flesh and loosens the grip just enough for you to pull away. You step back a couple steps to break the grip and shuffle into a fighting stance. The handle is in even worse shape, it’s only about two feet long now and has several long cracks up its length. Another blow would probably render it completely useless.

As you step away, the figure on the ground plants their feet in the dirt and whips upright in a horribly unnatural fashion. They turns to face you, dark blood trailing down their cloak. You can see its mouth, grinning a wicked, discolored grin through its pallid lips.

They throws their pack to the ground and in the same motion pulls out of it a sword with a long, elegant blade. The blade grows with a faint lavender aura.

That’s… your sword! The figure raises the sword and lunges at you!

You are being menaced! How do you react?

Hey, my instinct was right! …although much bloodier than intended, they must have a very fragile skull.

…eeeh, kick them at their centre mass and try to wrestle the sword from them.