Well, I went straight from “busy week” to “I have acute bronchitis” but I think it’s time to finally get back to business! We left off dragging our pal Pyotr out of Casimir’s and looking to sober him up. Well, what better to sober someone up than a nice strong cup of coffee?
You steer your swaying friend into Starbucharest’s.
Before we actually interact with anything, something’s changed on our HUD! If you look at some previous imaged, when we go to interact with something it shows Jake’s portrait in the bottom left. Now that Pyotr is following us…
His portrait shows up too! Just to remind us that he’s going to interact to some things with us, of course. First thing’s first, let’s get something for his head.
What?
My friend’s had a little too much to drink. What do you recommend?
The clerk looks at you, then at Pyotr, and begins to assemble a drink. She dumps orange juice into a metal drinkmaker cup, and follows it with worcesteshire sauce and a raw egg. Watching this is hard enough, but you have to look away when she drops in a scoop of dozens of small things that cling desperately to the scoop and make high-pitched whining noises.
A couple of small shrieks later, she starts up the old drinkmaster and blends the cocktail. She hands it to you, and you hand a few bani over to her.
You, in turn, hand the foul-smelling beverage to Pyotr, who looks at it in horror.
I can’t…
He pushes it away, obviously not yet prepared to pour anything on top of what’s already in his gut.
I can’t drink that. The room is spinning.
I think that’s just the interface.
You take the noxious curative back to the lady at the counter.
I’ll put it in the fridge. If he changes his mind, let me know.
Alright, well, Pyotr’s just gonna sit around and refuse to sober up. However, there’s someone else here we can chat with. She never actually introduced herself, but after we talked to her earlier, this woman’s name shows up when we point at her…
Sasha! It could be a coincidence but… she did seem to know Pyotr. Let’s see what she has to say now that he’s right here!
Y…
…Pyotr?
Pyotr groggily takes a look at the woman sitting at the table. He squints at her, looks away, squints at her again.
He takes a third look before his eyes get huge.**
(Actually, his eyes stay the same size, but because he’s looking particularly emaciated, they really appear to take up more of his face than usual.)
Sasha?
How are you?
Same as ever.
Mm-hmm.
I think I’ll just step outside for awhile.
Stay here, Jake, we just sat down. This is the woman I never told you about.
You must have…
I would have married this woman. Ziv and I both wanted to.
Pyotr.
When she met me to tell me she’d picked Ziv, she had lines on her face.
I don’t…
Lines from the bedclothes. From lying on the sheets.
With him.
I don’t believe this.
I’m with Sasha here. I mean, Pyotr even said, she picked Ziv. Who cares what she did with him?
She put her arms around me and called me sweetheart. But she smelled like him.
Do vampires have a smell? Well… I guess that’s a bit ruder, but still, Pyotr is just coming off bitter and drunk.
I’m just going…
You’re drunk. You’re being disgusting. And you’re embarrassing everybody.
I think you should leave. And if you won’t leave, the least I think you could do is to leave me alone.
C’mon, Pyotr, let’s get out of here. I’m sorry. This was my mistake.
Don’t blame yourself Jake. You had no way of knowing, and Pyotr’s behavior is pretty inexcusable.
What the hell happened to you? You know?
Come on.
Encountering only slight resistance, you manage to lead Pyotr out the door. Handling him is like handling a huge floppy marionette. It’s his alcohol-oiled joints.
You sit him down on the convenient barrel and manage to prop him up, after some balancing. You head back into Starbuchara\est’s, offer a quick apology to Sasha, and leave with a cup of Cafe Ole.
Cafe Ole is made from one of the beans we could have looked at earlier. Specifically, Toreador Beans.
This you proceed to pour down Pyotr’s throat, much to his dismay. But the caffeine and capsacin do their trick, and with fifteen minutes, Pyotr is looking and sounding noticeably better.
Is she still there?
I think so. But I wouldn’t try to talk with her again just now.
Jake, I swear, she’s nothing like the woman I left here. I mean, completely different. She looked different, too.
According to what Sasha let slip last update, it’s been centuries since Pyotr was here. I guess vampires don’t age, but… Is it really so weird to change a lot in that much time?
Very severe.
I’ll tell you something. She didn’t used to have that Cindy Crawford thing going on with that mole on her face. We don’t get cancer, otherwise I’d be worried.
What do you get?
Too much iron sometimes. A little Vitamin A overdose.
Could it be a curse mark?
I know where her curse mark used to be.
That wasn’t it?
Nooooooo.
Hmmm… If vampires don’t get any sort of skin diseases, that thing on her forehead is kind of suspect. I don’t totally trust Pyotr’s judgement, but now that he’s sober he’s at least giving a reason.
We’re outside now, since Jake dragged Pyotr out so he would stop embarrassing himself and troubling Sasha. Our next task is to find out more about this possible Curse Mark, and there’s only one place to go for that! And, conveniently…
She’s moved her wagon into town! That’s good, because we’re going to need her a few times coming up. We can actually look at her wagon now, since we weren’t automatically put right up to it.
The Old Magic Woman’s wagon looked convincing, but from up close it’s pretty clear she’s just covered a small Winnebago with contact paper.
Hey Jake, no judging! You’re the one with a coat hanger antenna on their truck!
Well on nights like these, I can make more in town…and then I pass the savings on to you. It’s just one more way I make it easy to shop the Old Gypsy Woman way.
I guess that makes sense. Her wagon is mobile, so if it’s a busy night in town she might as well be here. Now, we have a pretty big question for her.
Hello, Mister Werewolf.
What if I knew somebody that knew somebody that might be under a curse of some sort, how would I tell this person’s person how to tell what kind of curse it was?
…What?
I’m very sorry, you’re going to have to do better than that.
Really Jake, just ask normally.
If I think somebody might be under a curse, how could I tell?
Much better.
Oh, I don’t know if that’s something you could tell, honey. I could probably tell, if I could see exactly what the mark looked like. But I guess you’d have to get your friend’s person’s person here.
Hmm… Well, I highly doubt Sasha will just come out here with us. Especially since we’re not even sure that thing on her forehead is a Curse Mark. We don’t have a camera or any way to draw a picture of it (we can only write words on the spirit slate), so we’ll need another way. Let’s go back inside for now, maybe have a quick word with her anyways?
No offense to you, Mr. Stonebender, you’ve been nothing but gracious. But please leave me in peace.
Sasha then turns to Pyotr.
Sasha…
I don’t want to talk to you right now.
Maybe sometime when you’re fit to talk to.
I’m sober now.
She turns away from Pyotr.
Yeah, he might have sobered up a bit, but I don’t think he’s ready for this. However, interacting with Sasha reminds us of the other options there. Last time I mentioned we can kiss her, which seemed completely wild at the time, but now… there just might be something to that. The final option, which I didn’t mention, was to offer blood to her. We also have that option for Pyotr, actually. If we do it to any vampire, we find out that it’s a somewhat traditional thing here, as a way for vampires and humans to go “you don’t drain me of all my vital fluids, I won’t sneak into your house at night and drive a stake through your heart.” We’re already on decent terms with both of them, so no real reason to do it.
The kiss, on the other hand, is something to consider. It’ll get us right up next to that thing on her forehead, but there’s no way to record it for the Magic Woman. Except we do have a way to record something with a kiss: our wax lips! They’re solid right now, but we also had a hint before as to how to make them more malleable: the Molten Lava Mocha Java, coffee served at 500 degrees. Let’s buy a cup, shall we?
The clerk puts on some asbestos gloves and hands you the 500-degree cup of coffee.
Careful with that. It might be a tad warm.
Lovely. We could try to drink it, but Jake cares too much about having a digestive track that hasn’t melted, so he won’t do it. Instead, we’ll just dip the lips in to make them useful.
You dip the wax lips into the hot coffee. Immediately, you can feel the wax soften.
Excellent. Let’s pop them in.
You put the wax lips in your mouth and clamp down on them.
Don’t let people see you doing this. They’ll start calling you Hot Lips.
Before we can do anything else, another message pops up.
The java has cooled off slightly. If you spilled it on yourself, death would come a lot slower.
So, every two or three interactions, we’ll get another message telling us how cool the coffee is. This won’t affect us, but it serves an important purpose. If we bought the coffee before we were ready for this step and just carried it with us for a while, it would cool too much to be able to melt the wax. Like I said, it won’t affect us, so I won’t mention it every time we get one of these messages.
Something else changed however, though this is just a HUD thing. If we look down at the bottom where our portrait always is…
It shows Jake’s temporarily massive lips. Anyways, we now have the unfortunate task of invading Sasha’s personal space, so let’s get it over with.
You stand and press your big, full, hot lips to Sasha’s temple. She is still and unyielding, and her skin is as cold after you kiss it as it was before.
She gives you a look of cool disapproval.
Although she remains silent, her message is clear: your actions were inappropriate, no matter how charming the sentiment might have been.
You remove the lips from your mouth to speak.
I apologize. It’s a custom in my country.
She purses her lips and gives you a look of exasperation at the strange country you must be from.
Sasha gathers her newspaper and rubs the spot on her forehead, around her curse mark, where you pressed the hot lips to her skin. She icily suggests that you both sober up, and that said, turns on her heel and walks out.
That last line doesn’t… quite seem to flow straight from the previous. I realized I’ve never tried it, because I’d rather not make Jake assault Sasha for absolutely no reason, but I think you can actually do this as soon as you have the bani and wax lips, and if you do it will cut this at the penultimate line. Basically, you bother her with the kiss, and Pyotr bothers her by being drunk and obnoxious. Whichever order that happens in, she leaves once both are done.
Well, we’ve unfortunately forced her to leave, but we have some proof here as to whether or not it’s a Curse Mark!
That’s… not a natural mark. Looks like Pyotr was right, something is definitely up. Let’s go ask our magic friend what’s going on.
You hand the lips to the Woman and she eyes them.
This is an impression of a curse mark?
Yep.
It’s not very good.
What do you mean? It’s great. It’s precision.
I don’t like it.
She pulls out a jeweler’s loupe and peers at it intently. Then she swings around and grabs a ledger off the shelf behind her. Setting it on the sill, she opens it up and runs her finger down a list.
A loupe, if you don’t know, is a magnifying glass without a handle, normally used by jewelers and watchmakers. If you’ve ever seen a movie or show with one of those, it’s the little single lens that they put up to one eye while looking at an item. In fact, better than that description, I can just provide an image.
Let’s see. Clothespins, Clouds, Cloven Hooves, here we go: Clovers. 11, 121, 232.
She flips a few more pages.
232. Alan Pelligrini. Is this from Alan Pelligrini?
What, the Curse Mark? No.
All right, don’t get huffy. Let’s see, 121. Mrs. Murchison. Oh. I gave Mrs. Murchison a clover, imagine that. Is this from Mrs. Murchison?
You look at Pyotr, who shakes his head no.
Well, I only have an 11, let me look. This is old. Is this Sasha…I can’t read the name…
That’s the one.
She examines the entry next to the name.
Oh, oh, this is a wonderful curse. Oh, this is a goodie. You’ll never get this one off. This is a curse that drains the cursee of the ability to experience emotion. No love, no hurt, no happy, no sad, no joy, no pain, no nothing.
How do we counteract it?
This is what makes it such genius. To cure the curse, you make an anticursulant. You need tanna leaves, you need…ummm…
Oh, this is going to bother me until I can think of it.
It’s important.
Rather.
Just a minute… tanna leaves…and…is it…no…
Mako root! Mako root! Yeah, that’s it!
And those are hard to get?
Oh, I don’t know. No, the hard part is, the third thing you need is, the tears of the cursee. And that’s the thing. How do you get tears from somebody who can’t cry?
You can’t.
Exactly!
I’m so proud of it. It’s one of mine, this curse. Original with me.
Do we, like, chop an onion?
I suppose. I don’t know. Maybe even then they can’t cry. I never actually made the anticursulant before. That I remember.
So. Get me some tanna leaves, some mako root, some tears, and we’re in business.
You don’t have any of those things?
Listen to you. If you had to deal with the people I have to deal with to get tanna leaves and mako root, you wouldn’t be such a shmegegge.
More Yiddish! Well, actually, the Yiddish word shmegegge basically just means “nonsense” and doesn’t make sense here. However, the term Ameridish was coined for words made or changed by Jews in the US, and in that sense the word shmegegge means just a person with no talent or who is totally unadmirable. I wish this game would throw more Yiddish at me, I love chances to show off my knowledge like this.
The Woman adds offhandedly that the curse was actually ordered by Sasha’s new husband and applied by him while she slept. You can practically hear Pyotr’s blood (what there is of it) begin to boil.
Well, looks like Pyotr’s suspicions weren’t so unfounded. I think we need to go meet this Ziv and see what’s up… But where could he be?
Now that the Old Magic Woman has her ledger sitting out, you can not only see the scrawled details of the spell on Sasha, but her address as well: 1313 Resting Place.
Ah, good. If we need Sasha’s tears, we need Sasha, so let’s go check out her place. Our driver is thankfully still waiting here in town.
Master. Squire. What kin I do fer you, then?
Lead on, Macduff.
1313 Resting Place.
Resting Lane. I’ll 'ave you there in two snaps of a tendon.
True to his word, he negotiates the narrow, twisted cobblestone streets and, ten minutes later, pulls up in front of a very large, immaculate house on a tall hill.
You and Pyotr get out and knock on the door.
Yes?
Sasha, before you slam the door in my face, can you wait a moment?
You’re looking a little better.
Thank you.
Please do come in. Ziv is not home from University yet, but I’m expecting him shortly.
Mr. Stonebender, how lovely to see you again. Please, do come in.
She leads the way in and softly closes the door behind you.
Lovely, we got invited in! We follow her inside and…
Is that a problem?
She remarks quietly that she has an allergy.
You rub your hand hard on the thigh of your jeans, scraping off almost the entire pentagram, and display it to her.
It’s one of those temporary things. I’m not really lupine.
She cocks her head and gives you an odd look, but she quickly suppresses it and leads you further inside.
The house is spectacular, if you like the feeling of living in a museum. The decor is impeccable, the furnishings are genuine classics. But as a home, it’s cold and unpleasant, with a heavy, musty smell and a general atmosphere of lifelessness.
Please, follow me.
You and Pyotr accompany Sasha to a cavernous living room, and she gestures to a small divan with plastic slipcovers. You take up position, but you both wait to sit until Sasha herself sits.
Feeling better?
Yes.
Nobody is quite sure what to say next.
Um…Ziv is due back from University any moment now, I’m sure he’ll be glad to see you.
That’s a lie.
Please, Pyotr, let’s not.
Not what?
I don’t think you came here to bicker with me. Perhaps I’m wrong.
Pyotr thinks about this for a moment.
No, you’re right. We’re here to try to prove something.
Really.
Pyotr looks over to you. You swallow uncomfortably.
And now we’re free to explore the house. Well, not quite. If we actually try to search anything…
Please, Mr. Stonebender, I have some personal items in those drawers that I’d rather keep private.
By the time she’s finished speaking, you’ve returned to the divan and your ears are bright red.
Well, looks like we can’t do too much while Sasha is watching us. We can talk to her, but it’s just awkward small talk to fill the silence between her and Pyotr. Let’s see what else there is to see around here.
The dining room isn’t too interesting, but this is about 1/4 of what we can see while spinning around the room. Next…
An old commode is visible through the bathroom door.
Do… vampires need bathrooms? They certainly don’t need mirrors, but… Oh well, let’s not think too much on it. Instead, we probably need to stop in here after all this time running around.
No, thanks, I took care of that while you weren’t looking.
Oh, smart man. That could have been pretty awkward.
The mirror is ludicrously dusty. That’s understandable, since it probably doesn’t get much use.
Actually, thinking about why they have a toilet but don’t clean the mirror… I imagine they have it for guests, but then guests would also need to use the mirror, probably. So why is one in working order and one totally unusable? I’m clearly way overthinking this.
Other than a hairbrush and a few bobby pins, there’s nothing on the vanity.
A hairbrush? Well, as an adventure game protagonist…
You excuse yourself and go into the lavatory, shutting the door behind you. Under cover of a flush of the commode, and the running of water in the sink, you slip the hairbrush into your pocket…vowing to return it later.
Hopefully, you weren’t vowing too loudly.
And, well, that’s 1313 Resting Place. We need to get to work on this anticursalant, so let’s get back to town.
As you head out the door, Pyotr calls after you.
I’m staying here, Jake.
Fine!
And it is fine. If they’re alone together, maybe they can work something out. It’s certainly not going to happen with you there.
You walk down the hall and out into the front courtyard, where the driver awaits.
And we head back to town. We have three ingredients to get for the anticursalant. One we already bought from Wereworth’s: the tanna tea leaves. One we need to figure out how to get: Sasha’s tears. And the third, we’ve seen: the Mako root.
That’s right, these three fugato are drinking Mako Root schnapps, with a root right in the bottle. Let’s see what we can do to get it from them.
ArrWowwRR!*
Spill it, bro!
You give Jake bottle, yes?
GgrrowwwrRaarrl.
*Hey, the schnapps are on us if you can help us win the contest!
The riddle night contest! Well, we’ve already shown that we’re pretty good at these! Let’s get cracking!
Me have riddle answer for Fugato, me think!
And here they are! Like last time, I’ll give a couple days to see if you all can work these out yourselves, and then we’ll move on! Next time, we finish the anticursalant, and after that we wrap up Adventures of a Lovesick Vampire! The puzzles are transcribed below, again with the connection hidden in a spoiler blur. These ones are quite a bit tougher in my opinion, both because deciphering the clues is a bit harder and because the soundalikes are a bit more of a stretch.
[details=Puzzles]1. Chime; moisturizing plant; snug
2. Yard; linked steel; leg joint; younger
3. Permeable; famous Marx; spoiled
4. Grain; bid; wind shelter
5. Scorch; Chicago trains; legal code; massive weight
6. Otherwise; one; lean; aromatic organic compound
7. Moss; shiv; fluffiness; drawing fluid
8. Urinated; member of British nobility; white with age
9. Five-dollar bill (colloq.); Penny; Cost
10. Touched in the head; manta
These are all monster movie actors and actresses!