The LP Turnabout: A Documentary on Japanifornian Law with Phoenix Wright

[morsrattus]

Case 3 - Turnabout Samurai
Investigation (Day 3) - Part 1

: ? M-Maya!
: So, what happened?
: Well, I think I’ve got a pretty good idea who did it. Now all I need is a motive… and proof.
: Wow! Good going, Nick!
: Under the “initial trial” system, tomorrow is the last day we have.
: “Initial trial”…? What’s that?
: That’s the new court system they introduced two or three years ago. They had so many cases in the system, they decided to speed the whole process up.
: So under that system, trials have to end in three days?
: Yeah, pretty much. Well, we’ve no time to waste!

: I don’t get it, Maya.

: What!? You mean Mr. Hammer was wearing the costume!?
: Yeah!
: B-but Mr. Hammer was the victim, Nick!
: Why would he go through the trouble of stealing it?
: That’s what we have to find out.

: What happened with the director’s testimony?
: Well, it’s pretty clear that the producer and the director were both in the trailer.
: Huh…
: Which means that the killer has to be one of them!
: Really!? Why?
: Because the real scene of the crime was Studio Two… where that trailer is!

: (Hmm… was Maya always this excitable?)

: Well, have you noticed anything that might help us?
: I can’t see what’s going on when Mia is here… So, no. I haven’t noticed anything.
: Right…
: Maybe we should go talk to WP?
: (WP… Powers… right.)

It’s as good a plan as any.

: Mr. Wright! You did very well again today… thank you!
: Oh… thanks. Um, could you not look like you’re about to burst into tears…?
: Wow, Nick! You must have really wowed 'em in there.
: You could stop looking so… vulnerable, too.
: Hey, WP! Only one day left! Let’s make it count!
: Yes… Though there’s not really anything I can do to help.
: Hah hah hah! I’m not really sure what I can do, either.
: Please… this is no laughing matter.

: Could you tell me more about Ms. Vasquez?
: Oh… the producer? She’s well respected in the industry. They say she’s a genius.
: A genius…?
: She’s been at Global Studios for five years now.
: Right or wrong, nobody dares tell her different these days.
: Why is that?
: Ever since she came on board, we’ve had nothing but hits. Global Studios was on its knees, but she picked it up and made it shine.
: Oh, and…
: And… what?
: N-nothing. Forget it. I… I’ve only heard rumors, anyhow.

: Can you tell me anything about Mr. Manella?
: Oh, he used to be a minor straight-to-video director. But something in his work caught Vasquez’s eye. She brought the Steel Samurai idea to him. Now everyone knows the name Sal Manella.
: I hear he’s pretty much at her back and call, though. Whenever she says “jump!” he asks “how high?” and all that.
: (I can imagine him being at her beck and call… though I can’t imagine him jumping.)

: I was wondering about Mr. Hammer… He was a big star back in the day, right? But then he just dropped off the face of the Earth.
: Oh… Yes, you’re right. In fact, he was my role model when I started in this business. But he just stopped taking on big roles. That’s when he began appearing in little productions at Global…

: I was really looking forward to a sequel to “Samurai Summer.”
: He just gave up being a star five years ago. Actually, now that I think about it… That was right when Ms. Vasquez came to Global.
: (Five years ago…?)

That’s about all we can get out of Will, I think. Let’s head to the studio.

: … … …
: The old windbag sure is quiet today.
: …
: You know, this place is really… peaceful, like this.
: …
: Nick? I think her guard’s down…
: Y-yeah?
: I bet we could even eat those donuts in the guard station… if we wanted.
: … You eat, you die.
: Whew! She’s alive!

: Um, I was wondering about Dee Vasquez, the producer.
: Oh, the studio bigwigs LOVE her. So she always gets her way.
: (She seems bitter…)
: Do you… not like the producer?
: Look, the studio people don’t want me talking her, so, sorry.

: Can I ask you about Sal Manella, the director?
: Sal? He’s soft–a pushover. Does whatever Vasquez tells him to.
: She treats him like dirt, but I think he likes it.
: Huh? Why would anyone like being treated like dirt?
: That doesn’t make any sense, does it, Nick?
: Er… No, no it doesn’t, Maya.

: About Mr. Hammer…
: Arrgh! I heard about what you said today! Cheeky whippersnapper! Poor old Hammer! You’d drag his star down from the sky and stomp on it! Calling him a criminal! A thief! I-I-I-I… I won’t forget this!!!
: (Uh oh, she’s really pissed this time!)
: You listen to me, whippersnapper! My poor old Hammer would never do such a thing! Why would he steal Powers’s costume so he could sneak by me? He would never stoop so low! It’s impossible!

Perhaps it’s best to retreat while she’s shouting.

: I guess they’re not filming today, either. I did want to see them filming… just one time.
: This trial will be over and done by tomorrow. You can come see them film later.
: I guess…

: Uh huh.
: I wonder if there’re any other clues lying around.

: No no no! No touchin’!

: Didn’t mean to frighten you.
: D-didn’t mean…? I almost had a heart attack!
: Heh heh. I guess I can be a little dramatique at times…
: I suppose it’s the actor in me…
: (“Dramatique” indeed…)
: Ahem.
: Anyway, I’m here to examine the plate on that table.
: Wait, are you looking for sleeping pills?
: Yeah, pal. Traces thereof.

: So you’re looking for traces of the sleeping pills… how?
: For a thorough examination I gotta take the plate back to the precinct. But I have the capabilities to make a cursory examination right here!

: This reacts to sleeping pills, see? If there’re traces it’ll change color.
: Wow! Neat! Well, Detective Gumshoe? What are you waiting for?
: Now, now, everything in due time, pal.

: … … Well, the testing solution on the plate changed color alright.

: Looks like it.

: How goes your investigation?
: To tell the truth, it’s a real mess, pal.
: Some people think we should pursue the case we already have against Powers… And some people think we should switch suspects!
: What do you think, Detective Gumshoe?
: Well, pal, I hate to admit it… But I’m not sure I buy the case against Mr. Powers any more. I feel kind of bad for Mr. Edgeworth, though.

: How is Edgeworth doing, anyway?
: Edgeworth is out of control!
: He was in the waiting room and he crushed this paper cup with hot, hot coffee in it.
: Whoa…
: Talk about burns, pal!
: Wow! The fury of Edgeworth!
: Yeah, crushing paper cups… (Cups… bottles…?)

: Oh, the bottle of sleeping pills?
: Well, I got some good news for you about that. They found the victim, Jack Hammer’s prints on the bottle.
: So that means…
: Yep, it sounds like the one who put Powers to sleep was none other than… the victim!
: (So I was right!)

Now, we’ll leave the detective to his work.

: What are you doing here?
: Oh… I was just cleaning up the dressing room. I guess WP won’t be using it anymore, so…
: Wha!? What!? Why!? But WP’s innocent!
: Yes, and I’m really grateful for all you’ve done. But… This week is the last episode of the Steel Samurai…

: I was wondering if I could ask you about Mr. Hammer.
: Yes?
: On the day of the murder, he went to Studio Two.
: Huh? I thought he went to Studio One?
: He stole the Steel Samurai costume, too!
: What!? Why would Mr. Hammer do something like that? … Oh…
: I guess the rumor must be true, then.
: The rumor?

: Yeah. Ms. Vasquez, that producer, had some kind of hold on Hammer. She had some dirt on him… He’d do anything she said, apparently.
: Some “dirt”?
: What dirt!
: … Dirt. You know, bad stuff.
: …
: Um, I know what dirt means…
: About five years ago, they were filming a movie starring Mr. Hammer. They were using the new studio… Studio Two. Some sort of accident happened during filming.
: After that, they never used Studio Two again. They left the film set the way it was, too.
: (The film set…? Was that trailer part of the film set, then?)

: W-what do you mean, the “last Steel Samurai”!?
: I know it’s a shock, but nothing can be done to save it now. Whoever really did kill Mr. Hammer, also signed the Steel Samurai’s death warrant.
: No… no!
: Also, I hear that Global Studios is going to change its programming. They’re not going to make kids’ shows anymore.

: I don’t know. It’s sad, but that’s what Global Studios decided.

: Why aren’t they going to make kids’ shows anymore?
: The studio bigwigs don’t want the Steel Samurai around anymore. They want to forget all this ever happened. They want it quiet, you understand?
: H-how can they just do that!
: What about all the kids who love the Steel Samurai!
: It’s okay. I’m sure the kids iwll be fine. They’ll find a new hero to follow.
: No, that can’t be true! If the program just ends, they’ll be heartbroken for sure!
: N-Nick! Say something!
: Umm… yeah.
: (I think evidence, rather than words, is called for here.)

This shouldn’t be hard to figure out.

: And this is…?

: The kids love the Steel Samurai! The show shouldn’t be cancelled just so some adults can save face! I would think you would understand that better than anyone.
: … … You’re right…
: Okay! But what can I do?
: Well, for starters… You can tell me something. Tell me what it is that Global Studios is so intent on hiding? Tell me about this accident five years ago.
: … Okay!

: Could you tell us what happened five years ago?

: Well, I can tell you what I’ve heard. Apparently, five years ago, someone died… and it was Hammer’s fault.
: S-someone died!?
: It was an accident, of course! Anyway…
: The producer, Ms. Vasquez managed to hush it up.
: And that’s the “dirt” she had on Mr. Hammer?
: And that’s why Mr. Hammer would do anything Ms. Vasquez asked him to do! … But, it was an accident, right? Why didn’t they just make it public?
: Well, you know Mr. Hammer was a big star back then. They were afraid about what would happen to his career if word got out.
: I see…
: You know who knows more about this? Ms. Oldbag. She was here at the studios back then, you know.
: Thanks, We’ll try asking her.

Yeah, they mistake a comma for a period there.

: (If she’ll talk…)

Anyway, let’s talk to her.

: If you like the place so much, why don’t you take over for me?
: The old windbag doesn’t look so good…
: E-everybody’s doing their darnedest to forget Hammer. Who do they think made Global Studios what it is today? Hammer! It’s all due to Hammer!
: She’s starting to froth at the mouth, Nick…
: Maybe we should keep a safe distance?

: Umm… I wanted to ask you about five years ago…
: ! Who told!? Who did you hear that from!?
: I, uh… huh?
: Nichols!
: N-nickels?

: O-oh, right. Anyway, we heard about the accident. It was during filming with Jack Hammer… He killed a man. Didn’t he?
: Wh-whippersnappers! Dredging up dirt on someone’s past like that… and the recently departed, no less! I suppose you think this is fun!?
: N-no, I’m just doing my job to protect Mr. Powers…
: And you claim that Hammer stole Powers’s costume! You expect me to believe that rubbish!? Or do you have some kind of proof?

: Proof? Well… no.
: See! See!? I see how you work! Anything that doesn’t fit, you just blame on the dead!
: Well… well… Just butt out, lawyer-boy!
: (She knows something! But how am I going to get her to talk…?)

: I’m sorry Ms. Oldbag, but I do have proof.

: Here’s my proof.

: It’s a bottle of sleeping pills. With Mr. Hammer’s fingerprints on it…
: Wh-what does that prove? I’m… I’m sure old Hammer had some sleepless nights!

: Mr. Powers ate a t-bone steak for lunch, correct?
: W-well… yes. So?

: There are traces of sleeping pill powder on the plate!
: …! …
: … I see. Poor, poor Hammer. You did wrong, Hammer, rest your soul.
: Ms. Oldbag…?
: Okay. You win. I’ll talk. I’m tried, see… Tired of holding it all in.
: Ms. Oldbag…

: You’re right. Five years ago there was an accident… a fatal accident. What’s worse, a paparazzi took a photo of it. That photo, well, it caused quite a stir.

: She has ties to the mafia… She silenced that paparazzi.
: That was the beginning. After that, she became a force to be reckoned with here at the studio.
: I see…!
: But, you have to understand… Poor old Hammer never meant any harm to anyone!
: Ms. Oldbag…
: Hold on a minute.
: Poor Mis. Oldbag…

: …? A photograph?

: W-wait a second!
: This is the picture.
: Is… this the trailer in Studio Two?
: Hammer was supposed to fight with a bad guy on the top of those stairs, there. He pushed the other actor, and the man fell onto the flowerbox fence.

: It… was a long time ago. I don’t feel much like talking about it.
: I understand…

Next time: Truth?

@St. Johns County

Buttocks: The area at the rear of the human body (sometimes referred to as the glutaeus maximus) which lies between two imaginary straight lines running parallel to the ground when a person is standing, the first or top such line being 1/2 inch below the top of the vertical cleavage of the nates (i.e., the prominence formed by the muscles running from the back of the hip to the back of the leg) and the second or bottom such line being 1/2 inch above the lowest point of the curvature of the fleshly protuberance (sometimes referred to as the gluteal fold), and between two imaginary straight lines, one on each side of the body (the “outside lines”), which outside lines are perpendicular to the ground and to the horizontal lines described above andw hich perpendicular outside lines pass through the outermost point(s) at which each nate meets the outer side of each leg. Notwithstanding the above, Buttocks shall not include the leg, the hamstring muscle below the gluteal fold, the tensor fasciae latae muscle or any of the above described portion of the human body that is between either (i) the left inside perpendicular line and the left outside perpendicular line or (ii) the right inside perpendicular line and the right outside perpendicular line. For the purpose of the previous sentence the left inside perpendicular line shall be an imaginary straight line on the left side of the anus (i) that is perpendicular to the ground and to the horizontal lines described above and (ii) that is 1/3 of the distance from the anus to the left outside line, and the right inside perpendicular line shall be an imaginary straight line on the right side of the anus (i) that is perpendicular to the ground and to the horizontal lines described above and (ii) that is 1/3 of the distance from the anus to the right outside line.

[morsrattus]

Case 3 - Turnabout Samurai
Investigation (Day 3) - Part 2

: Think back, Nick, to the day of the murder… Mr. Hammer put on the Steel Samurai costume. Then he left from here to go to Studio Two…?
: Right.
: But why? I wonder if someone called him…? Like the director, or the producer…?

: Hey, Nick… It’s Ms. Vasquez!
: Hello?
: …
: H-E-L-L-O!
: …

: M-Maya! You should at least try to be polite…
: … I’m watching the clouds. …
: (That’s all she had to say, apparently…)

: Um, excuse me? Mr. Hammer came here on the day of the murder, and…
: Shh.
: ?
: Perhaps you didn’t hear me. I’m watching the clouds. I’m not interested in talking to you.
: Do something, Nick! She’s really ticking me off!
: (Oh dear…)

: Umm… Mr. Powers wasn’t the killer!
: You don’t have to cancel the Steel Samurai!
: I think I’m tired of the Steel Samurai.
: You… you did it!
: Nick! She did it! She’s the killer! My Fey blood speaks to me! I know it! I know it!
: (Oh dear…)

: Um, I was wondering if you could tell me about Mr. Manella?
: … If you must talk about that man… Perhaps you could talk about it in the trailer? By yourselves?
: (Oh, oh dear…)

: (She’s not even looking.)
: Where.
: Wh-what?
: Where did you get that?
: I, well…
: Oldbag.
: O-Old…?
: She means the security lady, Ms. Oldbag, Nick.
: Right… anyway… Ms. Vasquez. You hid this incident from the press, didn’t you? And you used it to control Mr. Hammer!
: … The wind.
: The… huh?
: It’s gotten stronger, don’t you think? The wind. … Your conversation interests me. Let’s talk about it more, inside the trailer.

And she’s off.

: Nick. She went inside the trailer.

So we will, too.

: Well then, what was that you were talking about?

: (…! Why is she so eager to talk all of a sudden?) Ms. Vasquez.

: You were blackmailing Mr. Hammer so you could control him, weren’t you? That’s why he was doing kids’ shows for petty change!
: Hmph… So I’m a blackmailer now?
: Well, that’s what it was, wasn’t it?
: I mean, sure, it was an accident…
: But you used it to drag Mr. Hammer down from his rightful place as a star!
: Oh…? I haven’t pulled anyone down from anywhere. Mr. Hammer’s career went sour of its own accord.
: B-but!
: You were the cause! You pressured him…
: And to think it was just an accident…!

: What is this all about? You keep saying “accident,” “accident”…

: What do you mean?
: Must I spell everything out for you? Think: what would it be if it wasn’t an accident?
: …! No… No way! You mean Mr Hammer did it… on purpose?

: Wh-where’s your proof! Can you prove it!?
: Hmph! Just think! Would he have let me run his life for five years… over a mere accident? And I ran him hard, believe you me!
: B-but, the security lady said it was an accident!
: Oh. Well, she was a big fan of Hammer’s, you see. She jumped on the reporter who brought that photo into the studio. She wrenched it out of his hands, she did. Gave him a few bruises, too.
: (… So that’s why she had the photo…)
: She’s an old fool. Of course, all the reporter would need is the negatives. He could have made a copy. But he didn’t. The only copy of that photo is the one you hold.
: Give it to me. Now.
: W-what? This is valuable evidence!

: U-umm… Who are they…?
: Professionals. They’re good at erasing… various things.
: What do you think…? Would you like to be erased?
: Wh-what!?
: The trial ends tomorrow? How unfortunate. It’s a shame you’ll have to miss it!
: … Tell me why.

: This is Mr. Hammer’s “dirt”… no? Why should Dee Vasquez care about it at all?
: … I’m sure you’ll have plenty of time to think about that where you’re going.
: So long, friends.
: Boys, erase away.

: Dee Vasquez! You’re coming down to the precinct with me, now!

: Hmph.
: Not bad. …
: Very well. It appears this contest will be decided tomorrow then. In court. I’ll be looking forward to it.

And Dee and her boys are taken away, courtesy the police.

: Sorry I was a little late with my entrance.
: I don’t get many chances to practice that sorta thing.
: Detective Gumshoe…
: Thank you thank you thank you!
: I was really scared…
: Huh? Don’t mention it, pal. Just doing my job. … …
: Detective Gumshoe?
: Sorry, it’s just… I’ve wanted to say that line ever since I became a detective. …

: Okay. I’ve got one more job to do today.
: I’m sure we’ll run into each other again soon!

He heads out.

: Well, Nick. It looks like we’re getting close ot the bottom of this.
: (And who’s at the bottom…? Dee Vasquez!)

Next time: The Steel Samurai’s final battle.

[morsrattus]

(filler to next day)

[morsrattus]

(more filler)

[morsrattus]

Case 3 - Turnabout Samurai
Trial (Day 4) - Part 1

: Court is now in session for the trial of Mr. Will Powers.
: The prosecution is ready, Your Honor.
: The defense is ready, Your Honor.
: Today will be the final day of this trial. I hope the prosecution and the defense will be able to present decisive evidence.
: Very well, Mr. Edgeworth. Your opening statement.
: In yesterday’s session, the defense presented us with a new theory for this case. He claims that the scene of the crime was, in fact, Studio Two. Today, I will call on the people present in the Studio Two trailer that day. From their testimonies, the truth will become clear.
: Hmm… very well!
: (Edgeworth seems a bit on edge today…)

: You may call your first witness, Mr. Edgeworth.
: The prosecution calls Ms. Dee Vasquez to the stand. Ms. Dee Vasquez is a producer who was present in the Studio Two trailer that day.

: Will the witness state her name and occupation?
: … Dee Vasquez. I am a producer for Global Studios.
: On the day of the murder, you were in the trailer in Studio Two…
: As everyone here knows, yes?
: …?
: I dislike needless banter. If you must pontificate, do it when I’m not here.
: Mrrph!
: V-very well, Ms. Vasquez. Please give the court your testimony concerning the day of the murder.
: Nick! I know she did it! Make her pay!
: R-right! (If she’s guilty, I’ll catch her with her pants down… So to speak.)

: Hmm…
: I have a question about one part of your testimony.
: You were “fatigued” so you had Sal “take” you…?
: The van.
: Hmm?
: There’s a van at Studio Two.

: I thought it might be risky to walk, what with that monkey’s head toppling over.

: I… I see!
: Very well. Mr. Wright, your cross-examination.
: This is the final battle, Nick! Let’s do it!

: By yourself?
: Yes.
: And you didn’t stop in at the Employee Area?
: No.
: …
: Are you always this… terse?
: Yes.
: (Oh dear…)

: Did no one leave during the meeting?
: No one. …
: …
: C-come on… let’s talk a bit more about that.

: The witness did not come here to engage in idle conversation!

: Stop interrupting the testimony.
: The same could be said to you, Mr. Edgeworth. And please stop banging on your little desk. It hurts my ears.
: Mmph!

: And when exactly was that?
: I’ve forgotten.
: …
: …
: Maybe you could try remembering?
: No.
: The meeting ended at 4:00, and the rehearsal was scheduled for 5:00…
: I would think it was between those times.
: (You “would think”!? C’mon, all you did was state the obvious, Edgeworth!)

: Hold on!
: You had Sal “take” you? What does that mean?
: It means what I just said. I had Sal take me in the Studio Two van.
: (Oh… oh, right.)

: And what were you doing during that time…?
: Don’t hit your desk. It irritates me.

: Yeah! Mr. Wright…!
: Oops.
: … It was a 15 minute break…

: Do you have someone who can verify this?
: Sal.
: N-no… I mean someone else?
: One person is enough.
: (If she committed murder during the break… She wouldn’t have had time to eat a t-bone steak! If I had some evidence that proved she didn’t eat that steak…)

Loop.

: Well, Nick? Find anything?
: I kind of wish she’d said a little more…
: It’s hard. I think she’s pretty used to being the boss.
: But I’m sure you’ll find some kind of contradiction in what she said… somewhere!

Can you spot it?

: Hah! As I thought!
: …
: You claim you ate a t-bone steak!

: But I say you did not!
: W-what’s this, now, Mr. Wright?

: It’s… a plate?
: This plate was on the table in the employee room.
: As you can see, a large bone has been left behind.
: Mr. Wright. Need I remind you it was a T-BONE STEAK!?
: Exactly my point! Remember, if you will… Ms. Vasquez and Mr. Manella ate at a table outside the trailer.

: The plates were bare!

: Ms. Vasquez?

: Tell me, how can a person eat a t-bone steak… and not leave the bone?

: You ate the bone, too!
: Um, Nick… are you sure?
: I mean, I love steak, but even I don’t eat the bone!
: Hey, I don’t eat it either!
: Mr. Wright! I, too, leave the bone.
: Um, can I try that again?
: I think I know how!

: Elementary! You were eating a boneless steak!
: … Mr. Wright, say you are right… What would that prove?
: …
: Um, right, Your Honor.
: Nick! Remember her testimony?

…hm.

: She said “bone”!
: Correct! I was… testing you!
: Yeah, sure, Nick.
: Sorry… Can I try that one more time?
: …
: I think I know how!

: You didn’t eat any steak during that break! You took your steak and threw it somewhere… like that incinerator!

: …
: I… I see! Then what was Ms. Vasquez doing during her break?

: She was picking on Mr. Manella!
: Mr. Wright…
: Sometimes this court finds it hard to tell whether you are joking or being serious.
: Oh…?
: I would prefer it if you remained serious!
: Y-yes, Your Honor. I’ll do my best.

And this drops us right where the right answer would.

: She was meeting with the Steel Samurai!

: Order!
: A-are you saying…!?
: Yes, Your Honor!

: She ran into the Steel Samurai! And then you did it.

: You killed him with your own hands!

: M-Mr. Wright! I-isn’t that a little presumptuous!?

: What kind of stunt are you trying to pull, Wright!?
: Let him claim what he wants…
: You say I did it?
: Yes.
: Fascinating! And here I was worrying that today would be as boring as all the rest.
: … Very well.
: Let us have a battle of wits, you and I.

: (Any day, Vasquez!)
: Good luck, Nick!

: Let’s see… What was that murder weapon again? Oh yes, the “Samurai Spear.”
: Yes…?
: I am, as you can see, a woman of petite stature.

:: It’s not impossible!

: Well, maybe it’s not impossible, but–
: Silence.
: I’m speaking.
: Mmmph!
: The victim was stabbed through the chest from the front, yes? I believe this would indicate that the victim was aware of the killer’s presence. Now, the Steel Samurai costume is quite light and mobile.
: Compared to the victim, I am weaker and slower… I couldn’t possibly win such a fight! Not to mention, there is proof I did not have the spear!

: Or do you mean to suggest that I could have wrested it away from him?
: Y-yeah! Take that, Wright!

: If you still think she did it, show us proof!
: Umm… er…
: Hey, Nick. Look at the data we have on that Samurai Spear in the Court Record. Isn’t there something in there that gets to you…?
: Something odd about the Samurai Spear…? … Wait!
: Something the matter, Mr. Wright?
: S-sorry, Your Honor. I’d like to take back my previous claim.
: Very well, I won’t hold you to your claim.

: i[/i]
: What’s this? You’re taking back your claim?
: Let’s backtrack for a moment.
: I want to consider whether the witness could have used the Samurai Spear or not!

And that brings us around to where the other paths might lead.

: I don’t know.

: You “don’t know”!? What kind of a lawyer are you!?
: Quiet. I’m speaking.
: M-m-mmph!
: You “don’t know”!? What kind of a lawyer…
: I don’t know whether you could have fought with the Samurai Spear…

And we end up converging on the same point.

: I think you would have a great deal of difficulty using that as a weapon. Pretty much anyone would.
: Hah. You see?
: Yes…

And now, all paths converge.

: However, that has no bearing on this case!
: … Meaning?
: The Samurai Spear was not the murder weapon!

: What is the meaning of this!? The spear was found lying next to the victim’s body!
: I have proof, Your Honor.

Next time: But how?

@San Francisco

Fortunetelling shall mean the telling of fortunes, forecasting of futures, or reading the past, by means of any occult, psychic power, faculty, force, clairvoyance, cartomancy, psychometry, phrenology, spirits, tea leaves, tarot cards, scrying, coins, sticks, dice, sand, coffee grounds, crystal gazing or other such reading, or through mediumship, seership, prophecy, augury, astrology, palmistry, necromancy, mindreading, telepathy or other craft, art, science, talisman, charm, potion, magnetism, magnetized article or substance, [or] effecting spells, charms, or incantations, or placing, or remocing curses […] in order, for example, to get or recover property, stop bad luck, give good luck, put bad luck on a person or animal, stop or injure the business or health of a person or shorten a person’s life, obstain success in business, enterprise, speculation and games of chance, win the affection of a person, […] or other such similar activity.

[morsrattus]

Case 3 - Turnabout Samurai
Trial (Day 4) - Part 2

: B-but, that IS the murder weapon!
: Not so fast.

: But, someone fixed the spear.

: She fixed it with duct tape!
: Now tell me, how is it possible…
: for someone to stab a man who is wearing a thick costume with this!? Through the chest!

: O-order! Order!

: Mr. Wright! What are you driving at!? Think about what you’re–
: Silence!
: I’m the one testifying here and I will be heard!
: Mmmph…!
: Are you quite sane? Are you even aware of what you’re saying? If the Samurai Spear was not the murder weapon, then pray tell what was!?
: How was Hammer killed?

: Of course I can’t.
: “O-of course”!?

: Can the antics, Wright!
: I have to agree, Mr. Wright. At least pretend that you think you might know!
: (Urk. Note to self: think before speaking.)
: (Tough crowd…)
: Well, Mr. Wright? Can you tell us what weapon was used to kill Mr. Hammer?

: Would I make a claim like that if I couldn’t tell you what the weapon was?
: I’m afraid your confidence can sometimes be unfounded, Mr. Wright…

Can you guess?

: O-order! Order! If I cannot have order this trial will be suspended!
: Mr. Wright! What is this all about!?
: This photograph is from five years ago. There was an unfortunate accident at Global Studios.

: Not a word of this was leaked to the outside. It was a close-kept secret at the studios.
: What does this have to do with the current case!?
: Mr. Edgeworth…
: You still can’t see it?

: Are you saying…!?
: Yes.

: Mr. Wright! Continue!
: It’s 2:30 PM on the day of the murder!

: Then she did it! She pushed Mr. Hammer off the stairs onto the fence!

: Though whether she did it on purpose or by accident, I cannot say.

: I-in other words… th-the victim, Mr. Hammer… He died in the same way that he caused another man to die…

: Precisely. Ironic, isn’t it?
: … Hoh hoh. Very creative, Mr. Wright.
: I could use a man like you on my script writing staff.
: You deny that what I say is true?
: … Mr. Wright.
: Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that Hammer died at the trailer as you say.

: And in the Evil Magistrate’s costume, no less. Are you then claiming that I carried the body to Studio One…
: And returned to the trailer, all in the space of a 15 minute break? How could I have disposed of the body?
: …
: The break in the meeting at the trailer lasted 15 minutes, from 2:30 to 2:45. Could Jack Hammer have been pushed off the stairs to his death… then carried to Studio One and placed inside his costume?
: There wasn’t enough time.
: Hmm… indeed.

: You’d be surprised! I bet she could do it!
: When people think their life depends on it, they can do amazing things!
: Mr. Wright, this is not an episode of “That’s Incredible.”

: If you claim she did everything in 15 minutes…
: (Let me guess: “Show Me Proof!”)
: Correct! Show me proof!
: (How am I supposed to do that…?)

: Then I won’t have you making unsubstantiated claims!
: (… Wait a second, how does he know what I’m thinking!?)
: Hah!
: I need only look at the cold sweat running down your face to know what you’re thinking!
: Mr. Wright. Perhaps you’d like to reconsider your claim?
: Well, Mr. Wright? How could she have dealt with the body?

: 15 minutes is kind of a short amount of time…
: You see? Even I cannot do the impossible. Therefore, Mr. Wright.
: I didn’t do it. Agreed?
: Not agreed!
: ?

The other possible correct answer drops us off right here.

: What if she had another way to carry the body,
: other than with her own hands?
: For instance?
: Actually, for that matter, there was no need for her to do the deed in 15 minutes!

: And there was a way for you to carry that body.

: I-interesting! Let’s hear it then.
: Mr. Wright?

This shouldn’t be hard.

: Ms. Vasquez. You carried the body to Studio One.

: Recall your testimony…
: There was to be a rehearsal afterwards, so we went to Studio One. I was fatigued, so I had Sal take me. There was a van there, right? I had Sal drive me.
: You used the van to carry the body to Studio One!
: Then, before everyone else got there, you put the body into the Magistrate costume!

: Hold on, Wright!
: Don’t forget, it was Sal Manella that drove the van!

: Of course he wasn’t!
: Hah!
: So, without Mr. Manella noticing anything, she put the body in the van… Then managed to put the body into the costume…?

: Are you seriously suggesting that is possible!?
: …
: Of course I’m not serious.
: Ha… hah!?
: I was kidding. To, er, lighten up the proceedings.
: Li…light…

: Lighten!? Y-you can’t lighten up a murder!
: Mr. Wright. The court requests you refrain from making claims in jest.
: Y-yes, Your Honor.

And this leaves us where the correct option starts.

: Of course, Sal Manella has to have been a conspirator! The body had to be placed in the van, and put into the costume. There’s no way Ms. Vasquez could have done that alone!

: They had to… because it was covered in Mr. Hammer’s blood!

: Well, Ms. Vasquez!
: Shall I continue?
: …
: No need. You’re smarter than you look, Mr. Wright. Hmph.
: I lose. You win. It… was fun.
: (I… win!?)

: Umm…
: So… what happens next?
: ?
: Don’t “?” me! Don’t you have anything to say!?
: What would you like me to say?
: Huh? “I lost”? Something like that!
: I just said that.

: W-wait, so you mean…
: Dee Vasquez! So, it was you? You killed Jack Hammer!

: Who can say?
: Huh?
: Are you sure I did? Mr. Wright… We just engaged in a battle of wits. And the result of that battle? You proved the possibility that I murdered Hammer.
: R-right!
: But… that is only a possibility. Proof is another thing altogether.
: You lack decisive proof, Mr. Wright.

: Order!
: Mr. Edgeworth, your thoughts?
: Umm… uhh… mmmph. O-of course, it’s as the witness says!
: … Certainly, it does seem very likely she did it… but, uh, there’s no proof!
: (…! Edgeworth isn’t sure!)
: … Well? I came here as a witness today. If you’ve no more questions, I’ll be leaving.

[i](Click here for video, courtesy of Xander77, of the canon path. It’s worth watching.)[/i]

: Ms. Vasquez! You did it!
: … That wasn’t a question.
: …
: Um, did you do it?
: No.
: Mr. Wright.
: Y-yes, Your Honor?
: I’m not sure that question helped this court get any closer to a verdict.
: (Urk! What do I do now!?)

: I… I’d like you to testify again!
: Testify… again?
: Know when to give up, Mr. Wright. Think about it. Even if I were to testify again, what’s the point? I can only say what I said before. The truth, Mr. Wright. I’ve already said all there is to say.
: What would happen if I said it again?
: Uh…
: You’d ask the same questions, get the same answers. A waste of time.

And we leave where we’d end up on the next, canonical path.

: …
: Yes, Mr. Wright?
: I was hoping I’d come up with a question while pounding on my desk. I didn’t.
: … You have my sympathies.

Convergence.

: (Damn… damn! To come so far, only to fail…)

: As it seems there are no further questions…
: I would like to end the cross-examination of the witness, Ms. Vasquez.

: …
: Yes, Mr. Edgeworth?
: I was hoping to come up with a question while I was objecting, Your Honor… I didn’t.
: I see… Very well.

: Your Honor!
: I request that the witness testify again!
: You are the prosecutor, are you not? Why are you badgering me? I’m your witness!
: I… I just want to hear your testimony again.
: Does this make any sense to you, Your Honor?
: I don’t see that we have anything to gain by repeating the last several minutes.
: Mr. Edgeworth… I, too, see little point in making Ms. Vasquez repeat herself.
: What exactly did you want her to testify about?
: Mmmph! Well, yes, um… … Indeed! Verily, I say… Ergo!

: I want to hear about what happened… after they found the body!
: After they found the body…?
: Very well. The witness will testify to the court concerned this matter.
: Hmph.

: Why did Edgeworth…?
: Who knows? He probably realized she did it, too.
: But… but! Wasn’t he the one that said he always gets a guilty verdict…?
: After all that…
: i[/i]

Next time: Testimony…???

@Aspen

It shall be unlawful for any person to throw any stone, snowball or other missile, or discharge any bow, blowgun, slingshot, gun, catapult, or other device, upon or at any vehicle, building, or other public or private property, or upon or at any person, or in any public way or place which is public in nature.

[morsrattus]

Case 3 - Turnabout Samurai
Trial (Day 4) - Part 3

: Hmm…
: I see no issues raised by this testimony…
: Mr. Wright, your cross-examination.
: Okay, Nick, we’re close, real close!
: She may be acting tough now… But if you put her on the spot she’s sure to falter!
: Find the key you need and twist the truth out of her, Nick!
: Right!

: What time was that?
: We were to meet at 5:00 for the rehearsal. So I’d say it was then.
: When exactly did you and Mr. Manella arrive at the studio?
: About 10 minutes before. I wasn’t stuffing any bodies into costumes, mind you.

: Where were the other emplyoees when you got to the studio?
: They weren’t there yet.

: Well!? Then you could have put Hammer in that costume, with Sal Manella’s help!
: Oh? What did I just say? Did I not just say “I wasn’t stuffing any bodies into any costumes”…?
: You should try to listen to what people are saying, boy.
: i[/i]
: The witness will continue her testimony.

: Mr. Powers was taking a nap, correct?
: So he says.
: Did no one go to call him?
: Remember…
: Remember… what?
: There was a dead body lying in front of us. Yet you expect me to be calm?
: (You certainly seemed calm enough when I accused you of murder!)

: Wait a second! Wouldn’t that be the other way around!?
: The other way around?
: You discovered a murdered body, and one person was missing, right?
: Wouldn’t you normally go looking for the missing person!?
: Hmm…
: I have to agree with the defense on this one. Well, Ms. Vasquez?
: Hmph. Logically speaking, perhaps. But no one there was thinking very logically, I assure you. Also.
: Without his Steel Samurai costume, Powers doesn’t really stand out.
: We often left him on the bus when shooting at location. No one noticed he was missing.
: (Poor Powers…)
: Hmm… Well, I suppose that explains that.
: Very well, Ms. Vasquez. You may continue.

: What was everyone else doing at that time?
: No one said a thing. It was silent. Completely silent. So we stood there until Powers finally arrived on the scene. “Sorry! Sorry I’m late!” Then… silence. Dead silence.

: Silent.

: Why’s everyone so quiet?
: Someone should do something to lighten things up!

: (Oldbag… the security lady.)
: Why did the security lady think Powers had done it?
: She said because she saw him going toward the studio.

: Did the detective arrest Mr. Powers based solely on the security lady’s word?
: Perhaps not. She seems to have also given the detective that photograph… Of course, I heard all this after the fact.
: (That photograph… meaning the one taken by the security camera.)
: She’s not known for exhibiting the best sense of judgment when it comes to Hammer.
: (Hmm. I don’t think there’s anything in there I can use.)

: You “asked to be left out”?
: Yes. It seems that everyone else was questioned. And I’m really not fond of that sort of thing.

: But, you can’t just decide who the police will and won’t question!
: Thankfully, the studio thinks otherwise. They were nice enough to understand that, since we were in a meeting… There was no way we could have been involved. Thus, they covered for us.
: (Covered for you… or covered it up for you? There must have been a lot riding on it, with all those bigwigs at the meeting… I’m sure her “professionals” helped convince everyone they didn’t require questioning.)

: The script and your direction notes?
: Yes, they’re quite valuable. It wouldn’t do to have them stolen.

: Wait a second! I thought you came to Studio One for a rehearsal!
: Why didn’t you bring your script and notes!?
: Well, I was under the impression that we wouldn’t be able to rehearse anything.
: Why?
: There was a murder, after all! Who could think of rehearsing after that!
: (Oh, yeah, I guess…)
: Hmm…
: Very well. Ms. Vasquez, please continue…

: Your Honor!!!
: I have an objection to the witness’s last statement!

: i[/i]
: Think!
: Ms. Vasquez said she didn’t bring the script because there wouldn’t be a rehearsal. Don’t you see what that means?

: She would have had to know about the murder before going to Studio One!

: Order! Order!
: Mr. Edgeworth!
: …
: What you have just said… is a reasonable observation.
: However, I find it hard to understand why the prosecution would make such a move! Or are you thinking of a career change to defense!?
: …

: I… appreciate the concern, Your Honor.
: I will stand by my statement, however, regardless of how the court sees my role here.

: Now, Ms. Vasquez…

: (I can’t believe Edgeworth is helping me!)
: Hmph. So the prosecution is in cahoots with the defense? What kind of court is this? No matter.
: I think you misunderstood me. I had a perfectly good reaosn to believe there would be no rehearsal.
: Hmm…
: Very well, the witness will change her testimony to reflect this reason.

: How did you know about the injury?
: H-how did I know!?
: Sal. He told me.
: (Sal the director… Hmm…)

Loop!

: You have to find something to peg this on her here… Or everything we’ve done till now will have been wasted! I believe in you, Nick! Go get 'em!

Can you spot the contradiction? It’s not hard.

: You “knew that Hammer was injured”…?
: Don’t you think that’s a little funny?

: I mean, it was the Steel Samurai who was injured!
: It was Will Powers!

: Mr. Wright! Explain yourself!
: Yes, Mr. Hammer is dragging his leg in this photo.

: P-pretending…?

: That person was Mr. Powers, not Mr. Hammer!

: Now, why did you think it was Mr. Hammer who was injured?

: I-I already said it was Sal who told me! Th-that’s right! He must have gotten it wrong.
: I think not.
: Mr. Manella was at the run-through that morning. He would have known it was Mr. Powers who was injured. He saw it happen! Why would he tell you the wrong person?

: You must have heard Mr. Manella wrong! Even though he said Mr. Powers was injured…

: You thought he was talking about Mr. Hammer!
: … Now that you mention it…
: Yes, I believe you’re right.
: I’m sure that’s what happened.
: Yeah! …
: Nick!
: You’re supposed to be putting her on the spot, not helping her out!
: Oh, right… I kind of talked myself out of that one, didn’t I?
: Quick! Start over!

: Ms. Vasquez!

: Actually, you didn’t hear anything from Mr. Manella.
: You saw Mr. Hammer limping with your own eyes!
: Yes, but… Wasn’t it Mr. Powers who was injured…?
: Yes, but remember!
: Mr. Hammer was dragging his leg, too!

: Aah!
: And when was he doing this…?
: Well… It would have been after he put on the Steel Samurai costume… and went to Studio Two. Where he was murdered!
: Exactly!

: Ms. Vasquez!

: That’s why you were confused!

: Order! Order! I will have order!
: Witness!

: Can you refute this claim?
: Hrrmmmm… hmph! … …
: (Yeah, let’s see you sneak out of this one, Vasquez!)
: … Very well! I have a question for you!
(Urk… Why are the real killers always so… persistent?)

: Why in the world would I want Mr. Hammer dead? Yes, he’d fallen on hard times, but he was a star! I had nothing to gain from his death! Nothing!
: Hmm…
: Yes, you would need a motive. Why would she have killed the victim? If there is a reason, it is unclear to this court.
: Does the defense have anything to say on the matter?

: Nick, no! Saying you can’t prove it now would be admitting defeat! She’ll get away!
: But… but what proof could I possibly have!?
: I don’t care if it’s impossible, you still have to fight this one!
: Ugh…
: Okay.

And we end up at the right choice’s spot.

: I have proof, and I’ll show it to you!

But what could it be?

Next time: Victory?

[quote=“Chico, California, Municipal Code Section 9.60”]Prohibition on the production, testing, maintenance and storage of nuclear weapons and nuclear weapons delivery systems.
No person shall produce, test, maintain, or store within the city a nuclear weapon, nuclear weapon delivery system, or component of a nuclear weapon delivery system.[/quote]

[morsrattus]

Case 3 - Turnabout Samurai
Trial (Day 4) - Part 4

: This photo reveals the motive in this murder!
: …!
: I’m right, aren’t I, Ms. Vasquez?
: Hrrrrrrm… hmph!

: With Dee Vasquez’s help, a terrible accident was swept under the carpet… Ladies and gentlemen, the case currently up for trial… It began on that day, five years ago!
: …
: Ironically enough, that accident precipitated Mr. Hammer’s fall… His fall from stardom!
: His guilt weighed him down, no doubt.
: However! You, Dee Vasquez, used Mr. Hammer.
: You made him work for you for petty change!
: Hmph.
: Bringing us to the present day… and Mr. Hammer’s last role as the Evil Magistrate!
: Yes! Undoubtedly, it was a constant source of shame for the ex-star…
: Hmm…
: One moment, Mr. Wright. We are talking about motives, here… yet you have only talked about Mr. Hammer.
: It almost seems as if… As if it was Mr. Hammer who had killed Dee Vasquez, not the other way around! What motive would Ms. Vasquez have?
: Y-yes, that’s right.
: According to what you say… I would have had no reason to kill Hammer. He was a good source of income for me!
: And I never get rid of useful men. It’s a policy of mine.

: Mr. Wright?

You could be forgiven for believing this is the right choice - the game’s certainly trained you to believe evidence can do anything. But think about it a little.

: Okay… Allow me to present to the court evidence proving Ms. Vasquez’s motive!

And it doesn’t matter what evidence you pick. None of it’s right.

: This is my proof!
: And… this tells us why Ms. Vasquez wanted to kill Mr. Hammer?
: I’d say all it proves is that the defense attorney has completely lost his marbles.
: i[/i]
: Mr. Wright! The court requests that you find your marbles immediately.

: Nick! We’re so close! Think this one through, please!
: Mr. Wright, I’ll ask you again. Please explain Ms. Vasquez’s motive for murder.

: She had no motive, Your Honor.
: What’s that now!?
: It was Mr. Hammer who was out for blood!

: What’s that now!?

: It’s simple!
: Mr. Hammer was intending to kill Ms. Vasquez!

: Wha-!?
: WHAT!?

: Your Honor!

: So, you did do it, didn’t you?

: I am guilty. It was me…

“Th-there’s blood everywhere! We’re too late!”
“Aah! Ms. Vasquez!”
“What…? What happened here!?”
“Manuel fell from the trailer stairs…!”

“Ms. Vasquez, please, try to remain calm…”
“No…! No! How could this…?”
“It was an accident…”
“Mr. Hammer was doing an action scene and…”
“No! Manuel! Manuel!!!”
“D-don’t touch him! Ms. Vasquez!”
“Nooooooooooooo!”
“Please… please don’t die.”
“Please…”

: Congratulations, Mr. Wright. I lose… again.

We fade out for a moment.

: Mr. Edgeworth… Where’s Dee Vasquez?
: In the waiting lobby, Your Honor. As calm and collected as ever…

: I see…
: Mr. Wright.
: Yes, Your Honor?
: It appears you have brought about yet another miracle.
: I… thank you, Your Honor.
: I think not, Your Honor. Will Powers was innocent. That he should be found so is only natural… not a miracle.
: … Yes. Yes, you’re right.
: Very well. This court finds the defendant, Mr. Will Powers…

: That is all. The court is adjourned!

: Thank you so much!
: I’m just glad you’re okay.
: Yes… but… it’s sad.
: I know now that Mr. Hammer stole my costume. It’s bad enough that he wanted to kill Ms. Vasquez… But to think that he tried to frame me for the murder! It makes me sad…
: Tell me why, Mr. Wright!
: H-huh?
: Tell me!

: Well, this is what I think.

: It’s because you were the Steel Samurai.
: Because I was the Steel Samurai?
: Mr. Hammer was a big star, once. But he was reduced to acting in a kids’ show… and as the villain, to boot! The kids love the Steel Samurai. And so, he hated you.
: I… I think I understand. H-he could have just told me. I would have changed places with him any time!
: (I think you’re missing the point…)
: …
: Thank you. I’m just glad it’s all over.
: (So am I… so am I…)
: Congratulations, WP!
: Oh? Oh! Heh heh. Thanks to you, I’ll be able to don the Steel Samurai outfit once more! I can’t wait to get back into that sweaty costume and…

: …?
: Is… something wrong?
: N-no! O-of course not…

: N-Nick! Edgeworth!
: …
: …
: …
: Say something, Wright. I’m not good at small talk.
: Huh? What? … Umm… that was too bad, Edgeworth!

: No… I really want to thank you. Vasquez would have gotten away if you hadn’t stepped in.
: Ah, uh, pleased to meet you. I’m Powers. sniff
: Ah, er, Edgeworth. I’m a big fan of your work, Mr. Powers.
: i[/i]
: … Wright. I must say, I hadn’t expected to meet you again after all these years.
: Meet “again”…?
: However.
: In retrospect, it would have been better had we not met. Thanks to you, I am saddled with unnecessary… feelings.
: Unnecessary feelings?
: Yes. Unease… and uncertainty.
: Aren’t those kind of necessary?
: They only serve to get in my way. You listen to me, Phoenix Wright.
: Don’t ever show your face in front of me again.
: That’s what I came here to tell you.

He leaves.

: Umm… Mr. Wright? Is… this guy your friend?
: What? Friends? As if!
: They’re rivals! Rivals! Right, Nick?
: For now we are… I guess.

: Why do I get the feeling I’m missing something?
: C’mon, Nick! Tell me! What’s the deal with you and Edgeworth?

: I caused quite a stir by revealing that accident from five years ago. It was the talk of the town. Thankfully, Global Studios rethought its programming change. They went back to making kids’ shows again.

: This is it! The new show starts today! You’re going to watch it with me, right?
: (I’ll admit, I was kind of surprised… I didn’t think they’d seriously go through with it…)
: You have to buy trading cards too, okay! We have to trade with Cody and that assistant!
: Fine, fine. I’ll do it.
: Isn’t it great that WP gets to play the lead again? I wonder if they’ll show his real face this time…
: I don’t think the world is ready for the real Will Powers…

Next time: Turnabout Goodbyes

@Joliet

The only official, correct and proper pronunication and spelling of the name of this city shall be Jo-li-et; the accent on the first syllable, with the “o” in the first syllable pronounced in its long sound, as in the words “so,” “no” and “foe” and any other pronunciations to be discouraged as interfering with the desired uniformity in respect to the proper pronunciation of the name of this city.

[morsrattus]

(filler time! New case coming!)

[morsrattus]

(This next case will also mark the end of the weird laws at the end of updates. I ran out of weird laws I could actually cite sources for.)

[morsrattus]

(It’s a pity, that was a fun gimmick.)

[morsrattus]

Case 4 - Turnabout Goodbyes
Investigation (Day 1) - Part 1

Click here to watch the introduction in video.

: About that, yes.
: 15 years is a long time to wait…
: You can’t imagine how much I’ve suffered…
: You… suffered?
: And now… the perfect opportunity presents itself.

: What!?

: Do you know if there’s any good waterfalls around here?
: Waterfalls…? Dare I ask why?
: Duh, Nick! Isn’t it obvious?
: I need a waterfall to stand under! Preferably a freezing one!
: … Oh… Is that part of your spirit medium training?
: Of course! Except, I’ve been slacking off lately… I need to brave the elements and be forged anew under the rushing spring waters!
: Umm… Okay… I don’t know about any falls per se, but Gourd Lake is pretty close…
: Oh. Darn.
: Sorry, but them’s the breaks. Couldn’t you just take a cold shower or something?
: …
: Good idea!

She heads off.

: (So much for the rushing spring waters…)

: A large, unidentified animal was sighted at Gourd Lake! The town is buzzing with excitement! Locals are calling it “Gourdy” in a tip of the hat to Nessie, the Loch Ness monster. Though its namesake, Nessie, proved to be a hoax… locals are confident their Gourdy is the real deal. …
: yawn Bor-ing. Can’t they show real news for a change?

: ?
: The water pressure’s kind of low in that shower.
: … You want more pressure, huh? Why don’t you go down to the fire department and have them spray you with the hose?
: …

She heads off again.

: (Apparently, E.S.P. is no aid in detecting sarcasm…)

: Strange occurences continue at Gourd Lake… But this time, it’s murder!
: (Gourd Lake again?)
: The body of a man was found in the lake early this morning. A suspect was apprehended. Sources inside the police department revealed… that the suspect’s name is Miles Edgeworth, age 24. Edgeworth was an up-and-coming prosecution attorney, known for his skill and connections. He was guaranteed a long and rewarding career… has he thrown it all away?
: (…? E-Edgeworth!?) What’s going on!? Edgeworth would never do something like–

: Yipes! M-Maya!
: The fireman yelled at me when I called him.
: We’ve got bigger things to worry about than that! They arrested Edgeworth!
: What? You mean, the prosecutor?
: Yeah, he’s a suspect… in a murder!

: When? Where? Whom? Why? How?
: I-I don’t know!
: Let’s go find out, Nick!

: Well, what should we do?
: What do you mean!?
: Let’s investigate! We should talk to Mr. Edgeworth, and check out the crime scene!
: (You’re right… We need more information! Save aimlessness and confusion for later!)

: Well? Got any good ideas?
: Not really. I do my best thinking when I’m standing underneath a waterfall.

Descriptions have changed again, incidentally.

: Mia’s favorite plant. Its name is “Charley.” Maya’s gotten the knack of watering it lately. Charley’s been perking up these days.

: Maya brought in a poster of the Steel Samurai the other day. We had a big fight over whether to put it up or not. I know she’s just waiting for a chance to sneak it up on the wall.

: Mia’s desk. If we had more clients, I would probably sit here more often. Lately, I’ve been spending more time on the couch, watching TV.

: Difficult-looking legal books stand in a formidable row. They mock me. I tried reading one, and it made my head hurt. When I closed it, it slipped out of my hand. Then my foot hurt too.

: Looks like it’s cleaning day again at the hotel across the way. I hear they’re planning a second branch outside the city. I can see the bellboy, getting hte angle of that screwdriver in the drawer just right.

Now, let’s go meet with Edgeworth.

: We’ve all been in here one time or another, haven’t we?
: I guess it comes with the territory.
: I’m not sure it’s something we should mention to too many people…

: Hey! Edgeworth! Come back!

: Nick, I don’t think he’s in a very good mood.
: Well, he is in detention. Were you in a good mood when you were here?
: So, you’ve come to laugh at the fallen attorney? Then laugh, laugh!
: Well? Why aren’t you laughing?
: Nick… Should we be laughing?
: Nah. It’s a trick. Laugh and he’ll get mad… or burst into tears. Edgeworth. We don’t have so much free time we can spend it coming down here to laugh at you.
: … Yes you do.
: (Actually, he’s right.)

: …
: I hoped you wouldn’t come. I didn’t want you to see me. Not like this.
: (Hey, I didn’t want to see you either, believe me.)

We can take a look around, but not much is new.

: This guard monitors the visitor’s room. He hasn’t moved an inch since I came in. A real pro. Or maybe he’s just nervous with Edgeworth in the room.

Instead, let’s chat with Edgeworth.

: Edgeworth. Tell me what happened.
: …
: Why should I? What are you going to do about it?
: Duh! we’re going to help you, that’s what!
: …!
: … Help me? You?
: Don’t be ridiculous.
: Sorry…?
: You’re a novice! You’ve only been in three trials!
: H-hey!
: Sure, you got lucky and won all three…
: But your luck’s bound to run out some day!
: You need real skill, Wright. Experience!
: …
: Nick! He’s insulting you! Nick? Why am I always the one who has to get angry!?

: The murder took place at Gourd Lake, correct?
: Yes… late last night.
: The lake is a long way away from your offices and the court… Why were you down there?
: … I see no need to tell you.
: M-Mr. Edgeworth! You… you didn’t really…?
: … Gourdy.
: Huh?
: I went to see Gourdy.
: “Gourdy”?
: What’s that!?
: I’ll… tell you later. (Why won’t Edgeworth talk to us?)

Maybe the badge will help.

: Edgeworth. Let me defend you.
: …
: Hah! Hah hah! Good one, Wright. But I’m not that hard up. Not yet.
: Wh-what do you mean by that?
: Me? Trust a wet-behind-the-ears lawyer with only three trials under his belt? Never!
: Wh-what!?
: My case is near hopeless, Wright. Every defense attorney I’ve talked to has turned me down.
: What?
: Simply put, they were afraid they’d lose. It occurred to me that it might be my fault that they lack confidence.
: After all, I did get every single one of their clients declared “guilty.”
: I don’t believe it!
: Regardless, I don’t want you involved in this. You in particular I cannot ask to do this.

Which opens a new question.

: Edgeworth… this is really hard for me to ask… But… you didn’t do it, right? Right?
: … Think what you will. I have only one request.
: Huh?
: Stay out of this case.

: B-but Nick is trying to help you!
: I know…! I know that!
: But I don’t want your help, okay?
: !!! Why not?
: …
: Look, just go away, and leave me alone!

And he leaves.

: Nick… Mr. Edgeworth did it, didn’t he.
: Maya! Let’s go investigate elsewhere.
: But, Nick…

You heard the man.

: Yeah. Gourd Lake is in the middle of this park.
: I can see some police walking around in there.
: Questioning people, probably.
: Hey! Isn’t that Detective Gumshoe over there?

: There’s enough of us here! Anyone found anything?
: S-sorry, sir… Nothing.
: Idiot! The trial’s tomorrow! We need clues, on the double!
: B-but, sir… There weren’t any clues… that’s why we arrested that attorney, Mr. Edgeworth! It’s clear, sir. He’s the one who–
: Shaddup! Just you try saying that again! I’ll… er… I’ll make you sorry if you do! I mean… just get outta my face, pal!
: Y-yes, sir!
: Detective Gumshoe’s kinda scary today!
: Recruits… peh!
: …
: Aah!
: Eek!

: Hey, you’re that Harry guy! Harry Butz!
: Wright! Phoenix Wright! (Will he ever learn my name!?)
: And just what are you doing here, pal? Investigating!?
: Huh? Um, well, yes. I suppose.
: Well, I’m here to help! Ask me anything you want!
: Bring it!
: He seems different than usual. I wonder what’s up?
: Umm… Mr. Edgeworth hasn’t actually asked us to defend him yet…
: Huh!?
: Oh? Y-you don’t say…

Let’s look around some.

: I feel winter’s chill from the bare leaf trees today… sigh What is it about winter that turns people into poets?
: I don’t know, but my toes are starting to feel numb.
: (Yes… my poetry has that effect on some people.)

: The sign says “Gourd Lake Nature Park.” This place is full of families picnicking on the weekend.
: But… no waterfall.
: Not many picnickers come here for spiritual training, Maya.

Question time.

: Detective Gumshoe? Do you know what happened here?
: Huh? You don’t know, pal?
: No…
: Wow, okay, Mr. head-in-the-fluff-pink-clouds Lawyer.
: Head-in-the… huh?
: Never mind, I’ll tell you.
: It happened last night, about 15 minutes after midnight.

: In that boat were two men.

: A cop who arrived on the scene arrested him.
: How did he get there so fast?
: Well…
: There was a witness. When the report came in, we raced to the lake.
: A witness?

: You don’t think Mr. Edgeworth is a… murderer!?
: Absolutely not! It’s impossible!
: I don’t care if there’s a witness either! I don’t believe a lick of it!
: R-right! Who cares what the witness says!
: (I care!)
: …
: You really believe in him, don’t you, Detective?
: Course I do!
: But… the police are pretty sure he’s the killer. Nobody’s even really taking this investigation that seriously.
: Oh no!
: After all the help Mr. Edgeworth has been to us… Hard to imagine that no one’s standing up to take his side.
: Well, at least you are, Detective. At least you are.

: I-is it true? No one will take Mr. Edgeworth’s case?
: Yeah… He’s a bit of a celebrity. If you defended him, and lost, your reputation’d be sure to suffer. What’s more…
: The case against him is… well, it’s pretty solid.
: (I suppose it would be if they have a witness.)
: Hey! Pal! Don’t tell me you’re going to turn your back on him too!? Remember the Steel Samurai! Mr. Edgeworth helped you get your client declared innocent!
: I… I know. I went to Edgeworth. I tried. He really doesn’t want us to represent him. Especially not us, he said.
: What!? W-well, that doesn’t make any sense, pal! You should have heard him talking about you after the Steel Samurai case! He kept saying “Wright, Wright, Wright” over and over.
: … Nick?
: I’m not sure that’s a good sign.
: Neither am I…
: Why wouldn’t he want your help? I don’t get it.

: Who was this witness?
: Er, sorry, pal. That’s confidential. anyway, the witness saw everything, apparently. I’m sure they’ll turn up at the trial tomorrow.
: Was there only that one witness?
: Yep. It was pretty cold out on the lake last night. And, it was Christmas Eve after all.
: Still, we’re being thorough. You never know when you’re going to turn up another witness. That’s why we’re here today, checking things out.
: So far, we’re coming up empty…
: Oh! It’s Christmas today! I’d forgotten.
: What are you getting me for Christmas, Nick?
: Talk to Santa.
: Detective Gumshoe, sir!
: What? Find something?
: Um, no, sir. Not yet. But there was a call from the precinct. They want to hold an investigation briefing…
: A briefing?
: Right! I’m off!
: Oh… Sorry, pal. I guess you heard. I gotta go.

: Well, yes. Do you have any information the victim…?

: Sorry…
: They haven’t worked up the autopsy report yet. I’m still waiting for it myself.
: Actually…
: Say, if you get the time, drop by the precinct! We can talk more there, pal!

And this leaves us off where the other thing starts.

: You’re not coming back, Detective?
: Erm… Probably not, pal.
: so, what should we do if we have something to talk to you about…?
: Ah, right.
: Here, I’ll show you how to get to the precinct. Come down and see me anytime.

And now we can visit the police station.

: Oh, hey! Detective Gumshoe!
: W-what!?
: Um, we’d like to take a look around in the park. Can we walk around?
: Yeah! No problem, pal. You got my permission.

He leaves.

: You know, Nick. I think there’s something to be said for talking to people when they’re busy.
: Yeah. They don’t have time to think about not giving you information…
: Right! Now, let’s get investigating!

Next time: Christmas In July

@New Orleans

It shall be unlawful for any person to advertise for or engage in, for a monied consideration, the business of (chronology, phrenology astrology, palmistry), telling or pretending to tell fortunes, either with cards, hands, water, letters or other devices or methods, or to hold out inducements, either through the press or otherwise, or to set forth his power to settle lovers’ quarrels, to bring together the separated, to locate buried or hidden treasures, jewels, wills, bonds or other valuables, to remove evil influences, to give luck, to effect marriages, to heal sickness, to reveal secrets, to foretell the results of lawsuits, business transections, investments of whatsoever nature, wills, deeds and/or mortgages, to locate lost or absent friends or relatives, to reveal, remove and avoid domestic troubles or to bring together the bitterest enemies converting them into staunchest friends. But nothing herein contained shall apply to any branch of medical science, or to any religious worship.

[morsrattus]

Case 4 - Turnabout Goodbyes
Investigation (Day 1) - Part 2

First, checking our current profiles.

Now, on to the investigation.

: Yup. I’m not sure it warrants a “wowsers,” though.
: Hmm. Probably not.
: But hey, look at that snack stand!
: “Samurai Dogs”…?
: I wanna Samurai Dog! Please!
: I bet they’re great!
: With a name like Samurai Dog, how could they not be?
: They’re a little behind the times, though. The kids are all into “The Pink Princess” now.
: I mean, like, y’know!?
: i[/i]

Let’s look around.

: Wow. Gourd Lake is really big.
: Yeah.
: Say, Nick. Why is it called “Gourd Lake”?
: Oh. Well, a long time ago, they used to grow gourds here.
: Whoa! No way!
: I was sure it was because the lake looked like a gourd when viewed from above!
: You know, like an hourglass shape?
: Well, it is shaped like a gourd, actually. But that’s just a coincidence.
: Oh. Okay.

: The trashcan is empty. At least the place is well maintained.

: A lineup of plastic benches. I guess the idea is you buy a dog and eat it here. I doubt anyone would sit here and eat on a day like this. Except maybe Maya… if she had a Samurai Dog.

: …and it goes “pop.” Yeah, I know the ones. You see them a lot around New Year’s.
: Hey, Nick! It might be a clue!
: Let’s take it.
: C’mon, admit it. You just want to pop it, right?
: Was it that obvious?

: I suppose it couldn’t hurt. Huh? Where’d it go?
: I already put it in my pocket.

: A hotdog stand. It’s closed… The Christmas fringe looks a little half-baked. The banner reads “Samurai Dogs”… Somebody needs to redecorate.

That’s all we can see here for now.

: Look… someone’s camping!
: They’ve got guts, camping at the scene of a murder.
: Hey, hey, Nick!
: If they were camping here last night, they might know something about the murder!
: (That’s true…) Good call, Maya. Let’s go talk to them.

Well, first we look around.

: Hey, Nick!
: What, don’t tell me you’re hungry again?
: No, no.
: I was just wondering, why are camping pots and pans made of aluminum?
: … They didn’t talk about that in any of the law books.
: So, there’s no law saying they have to be made out of aluminum, then!
: (I’m not having this conversation…)

: This SUV has seen better days. It’s dented all over. I can’t believe anyone would drive their car down here.

: The trees grow quite thick here. Further back, the trees fade into the shadow where the sunlight can’t reach them.

: The sign says “No Camping.” Funny place to pick to pitch your tent.
: Wait, what if the sign said “No Setting Tents on Fire”?
: … I don’t think they have signs like that.
: Oh…

: There’s food and some magazines on the sheet. It takes a pretty tough skin to camp in this cold.

: This camera has a mic and some sort of attachment. It must take pictures when triggered by a noise.
: Wow! Cool! Let’s try it out!
: cough
: “Hi, I’m Nick!”
: … Maybe I’m not saying it loud enough.
: “HEY! I’M NICK!!!”
: … Huh.
: NIIIIIIIIII… …IIIIIIIIIICK!
: Will you stop that?
: Maybe it’s broken?
: D-don’t kick it! Maybe it isn’t set to respond to voices?

: The party popper…?

: … Yep. It responded.
: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!

: Eek!

: Look what ya done now! There goes a whole roll of film!
: Ah? Wha… huh? S-sorry!
: Sorry’s nice but it don’t pay my bills! Y’all know how much a roll of that film costs!?
: I-I’ll pay you back!
: What were ya’ll thinkin’ settin’ off a party-popper in a place like this?

Not my fuckup, that ya’ll.

: Uh… well…
: What!

: Yeah, I know how y’all Yanks think! “I say, those southern folks talk with that exaggerated drawl, why they must be dumb!”
: Well let me tell you, just because I might be dumb don’t mean we all are!
: N-Nick, help!
: And who are you, now? Her chaperone?
: Yeah, uh, no, rather, uh… we’re sort of… friends?
: Jus’ figure out what y’all are gonna say and say it for bejeezum’s sake!

: (Oh boy… I guess we should pay her for the film…)
: Watch it!
: Yes ma’am. (On second thought, I’ll pay later…)
: I’m really sorry!

We can ask her stuff, but all the responses are the same.

: Umm…
: What!? Can’t ya see I’m changin’ the film on my camera here!
: Someone–I’m not namin’ any names–but someone used up a WHOLE ROLL.
: Sorry…
: (That didn’t work… I wonder if I have anything to show her that would get her attention…)

So we get out our badge.

: Huh? Aren’t badges supposed t’ be all shiny and impressive? You a cop or something?
: Umm… I’m a lawyer.
: Wh-what!? Y’all ain’t gonna try and pull one o’ them lawsuits on me over that film now?
: Cause I’ll have y’all know I’m a fighter and I wrassled meaner lookin’ things’n you!
: N-no, that’s not it at all. We’re here investigating a murder that took place here, on the lake.

: …

: (Finally! Some cooperation!)
: You too. Y’all can come out of hiding now. I won’t bite. Hard.
: (Come to think of it, where did Maya get to?)
: S-sorry… I-I was feeling a little overwhelmed. The culture gap and all…
: Never you mind, honey. I kin’ talk Yank for ya if… ahem… if it pleases you?
: Th-thanks. I think I’ll be okay.
: Great then! I’m Lotta. Lotta Hart, but y’all can call me Lotta! I’m here photographing meteor showers for a research project.
: Mighty pleased ta meet ya!

Now we can ask her questions.

: Oh yeah, when was that murder, anyway?
: I ain’t seen much television lately.
: It happened late in the night on Christmas Eve.
: That so? Christmas Eve?
: A man on a boat was shot… Did you see anything?
: Well, lemme see. A boat, ya say? I reckon I mighta seen one… not sure though.

: I seen enough boats to choke a mule. Kinda hard to remember which I seen when.

: So, what is it you do, Lotta?
: Huh? Me?
: Hah hah. Y’all don’t really want to know that, do ya?
: Actually, I’m a research student at Country U., right in the heart of the heartland.
: Wow! Neat!
: Nick! She’s a research student at a university! Country U.!
: Uh… so I hear.
: So, when did you come up here?
: Hmm, lemme see… I guess it was 'bout three days ago.
: What are you photographing?
: D-didn’t I tell y’all that already? Meteors! Yep, meteor showers!
: (Falling stars…?)

: Y’all better know it! It’s German-made. A genuine Solingen!
: (Isn’t that where they make knives…?)
: Umm…
: So, what’s that device you have stuck to the camera?
: Huh? Device?
: It started moving all by itself when I fired my party popper…
: Oh that? That triggers the shutter whenever it detects certain sounds. It’s programmed to pick up loud noises right now.
: A programmable camera! Neat!

We can immediately present the camera, too.

: Lotta?
: Yeah?

: Ayup.
: Actually, the victim in the case we’re researching–he was shot with a pistol.
: A pistol…?
: Right. Now wouldn’t a gunshot make a similar noise to our party popper…?
: I guess it would.
: Your camera… didn’t get a picture of the murder, did it?
: …
: Hey! Y’all are pretty bright!
: Huh?
: I see what yer sayin’…
: Tell ya what, I’ll have a look-see at my film.
: It would have been a photo taken late last night…
: I checked 'em once, don’t remember if there was anything on ‘em though.
: But what if I got sumtin’! I could be witness to a genuine murder! Yeehaw! I’ll go check that film. Y’all come back now, y’hear?

She leaves.

: She went inside her SUV.
: I guess we should come back later…

So let’s find somewhere else to poke for a bit.

: A boat rental shop. Closed for Christmas it seems. I guess a murder taking place on one of the boats won’t be good for business, either.
: Boats… I’ve never ridden on a boat.
: Really? Well, how about we go out on one when the trial is finished?
: Hey, good idea! You bet!

Let’s look around a bit.

: There’s more forest off that way. I doubt I’d find any helpful clues in there.

: A small boat rental shop. Doesn’t look like anyone is around. They’re probably closed because it’s Christmas.

: There are some boats floating at the dock. Was one of these boats used in the murder, I wonder?
: Nick?
: Huh?
: I changed my mind. I don’t really want to go for a boat ride.

…and that’s all there is to see in this area! So let’s go visit the cops.

: I guess Detective Gumshoe is still in that meeting.

: Thanks for coming down, pal!
: Detective Gumshoe!
: We just finished the meeting. For better or for worse…
: (I get the feeling we’re in for some bad news…)

We’ll look around to delay the bad news.

: These are the detectives’ desks. There are computers and files on each one. Funny, they’re a lot tidier than I’d expect. I guess the detectives don’t spend a lot of time at their desks.

: Hey, is that the police department’s mascot…?

: It was my idea! I made it! It’s my mascot!
: I… see. How nice.
: I’ll get him assigned mascot of the Criminal Affairs Dept. if it’s the last thing I do!
: Um, good luck!

: That must be the chief of the detectives here. He’s glued to his computer screen.
: Wha…!? “Gourd Lake…!” “Gourdy sighted”!!! I don’t believe it!
: (Shouldn’t you be reading something more important…?)

: A poster of a female police officer… Wait, no. That’s the latest “Babes in Uniform” calendar. My bad.

: That must be one of the detectives. He’s mumbling something to himself.
: “All right, hands against the wall, all o’ you… Don’t even think about escaping! I got eyes in the back of my head!”
: … He must be doing image training for arrests.

So, let’s talk to Gumshoe.

: Do you know anything about the victim yet?
: No, no… Still can’t I.D. him.
: Has Mr. Edgeworth said anything?
: Not a word.

: So, how did the meeting go?
: I can’t tell you, pal! You’re a lawyer!
: T-true…
: … Y’know… I don’t know what to believe anymore. Sure, Mr. Edgeworth’s human like you or me.
: Still…
: I get the feeling that if he’d done something wrong, he wouldn’t go hiding it. That’s just the kind of guy he is.
: Why can’t anyone else see that?
: So, they think that Mr. Edgeworth did it…?
: Well, the trial’s starting tomorrow, as scheduled.
: I see…
: …
: Umm… hey, in the end you did tell us about the meeting!
: … Don’t got telling anyone else, pal.
: Y-yes, sir!
: And… do me a favor! Stand by Mr. Edgeworth!
: He needs help, and you’re the ones to help him! I’m sure he’s got some reason why he won’t talk to us.
: Thanks, Detective Gumshoe.

: Detective Gumshoe… How come you trust Mr. Edgeworth so much?
: Well, I’d think that was obvious. We got a strong working relationship, us two. We trust each other, and that’s how it works.
: A “working relationship”?
: See, Mr. Edgeworth always gets his defendants declared “guilty” every time.
: Yeah, his methods might be a little extreme at times. But… there’s a reason!
: He trusts our investigation, see? He trusts us to get the right man! That’s why I work extra hard, pal. We’ve got to earn that trust he places in us.
: I see…
: Mr. Edgeworth is a man you can trust… And you have my word on that!

: I was wondering, did you ever get that autopsy report?
: Oh, that? Yeah, I made a copy for you.

: Thank you.
: …Nick?
: Huh?
: CAn you show me that photo of the victim?

: That face…!
: Someone you know?
: I… I don’t know.
: I just have this feeling that I met him somewhere a long time ago. …

The badge has been surprisingly useful lately, so we try that, too.

: Sorry, I’m drawing a blank right now.

Next time: Backstory.

[quote=“Portland, Oregon, Code chapter 8.36.160”]8.36.160 Cleaning Skeletons.
It is unlawful to scrape or clean the skeleton of any dead body in any burial ground within the city, except in a suitable building erected thereon. It is unlawful to deposit any scrapings or dead matter from any skeleton or dead body in any burial ground in said City in such manner as to expose the scrapings or dead metter to public view.[/quote]

[morsrattus]

Case 4 - Turnabout Goodbyes
Investigation (Day 1) - Part 3

We’re heading back to the office to regroup.

: What is it?
: Oh.
: Nothing… just, something’s been bothering me.
: …

: … … …
: Hey! I-I remember now!

: This is a lawyer that was at that office Mia worked at!

: I met him once when I went there to hang out with Sis!
: That office…? Wait!

: Right! That guy!
: (That was the last name I expected to come up… Maybe I should go talk to him… for old time’s sake.)

But first, let’s ask Maya for advice.

: Well, what should we do?
: Hmm… The police have pretty much made up their minds that Mr. Edgeworth did it. And Mr. Edgeworth won’t tell us anything.
: I guess we could go look for clues down by the lake?
: Right.

: Well? Penny for your thoughts?
: Thoughts… Thoughts… Yeah, why won’t Mr. Edgeworth tell us anything? And… and…
: And why did he refuse to ask for our help?
: What a jerk!

: It’s been a while since I was here last. Mr. Grossberg is out as usual.
: Hey, Nick. Look at the wall.
: (That painting is still missing… Mia must have known about the deal with Mr. Grossberg and Redd White… She kept track of all of White’s extortion and blackmail rackets.)

We can still look around, though.

: A table for clients. Hmm… an elegant ebony case, and if I’m not mistaken, that lighter’s made of solid gold. Even I can tell someone here’s got money to burn.
: We should put things on our client table too.
: I’m not really into smoking.
: We could put out candy, or gum.
: Classy…

: An expensive potted plant. No idea what kind of plant it is, but it’s probably the most expensive one available.
: I think our Charley is cuter.
: Right. He’s a really cute… plant.

: A solid mahogany desk. The wood’s been polished to a deep luster.
: Hey, Nick! I want a desk like that in our office too!
: I don’t know. I don’t think I’m ready to sit at a desk like that yet.
: Huh?
: I meant for me!
: You’d better start saving your allowance, then.

: Why is the wall there a different color?
: A big painting was hanging there until recently.
: Huh. What happened to it?
: Uh… well, he gave it to someone.
: I bet he gave it to some romantic interest! Love blooms eternal, Nick!
: Uh… yeah.

: Expensive-looking mahogany bookshelves, filled with expensive-looking books. Hmm… funny… They don’t look like they’ve ever been read.
: Well then let’s take them back to our office! He won’t miss them!
: Uh, we don’t need them.
: Then, can we take that wooden bear?
: (Hmm. It is kind of cute.)

And now, back to the lake.

: Lotta!
: Wait up a sec! We got bingo!
: Bingo…?
: My automatic camera took two pictures last night!
: Hey!

: See? See? He’s shooting him with that pistol!
: I-it looks like that, yes.
: But you can’t really tell who that is shooting.
: Yeah, well there was enough fog out there last night t’ strangle a bullfrog.
: But, y’know…

: What…?
: I saw the murder happen. I’m a witness!

: A-are you serious!?
: Course!
: (How do you forget… never mind.)

: I… reckon so!
: What’s that? Now don’t y’all go tryin’ to mock my accent!
: I’m a sensitive lady!

Or…

: I… reckon no!
: What’s that? Now don’t y’all think y’all can pull one over on me just cause you speak the lingo!
: I know enough to know that when you see a murder, you’d best tell the cops! It’s my obligation as a citizen!

Convergence.

: Hey, so, I’m off to talk to the cops.

: Later.
: W-w-wait! Lotta!
: What? Can’t y’all see I’m kinda busy?
: T-tell us what you saw, too! Please?
: Nice try, honey, but I wasn’t born yesterday. I’m a witness, and that means I’m on the side of justice, and that means the cops! I’d sooner eat the south side of a north-bound skunk than tell you!
: L-Lotta!
: Don’t let it get your skivvies in a bunch. Friends today, enemies tomorrow! Or was that the other way round? No matter. I’m gone!
: Hey! Maybe they’ll let me do some testifying! Hot darn!

She leaves.

: She left… … Well, that’s one more witness. What do we do now, Nick?
: (Well, if she saw something, there’s not much we can do about it. The question is: what exactly did she see…? I guess we’ll find out in the trial tomorrow.)

We get this evidence, at least. We start making our way back.

: Hey!

: Aah! N-Nick! I think Santa’s mad at you!
: Long time no see, Nick.
: Nick… you know Santa!? Wow… Nick and St. Nick… Hey! I see the connection!
: Don’t be ridiculous!
: Dude, it’s me!

: What are you doing here!?
: Isn’t it obvious? I’m working my day job! I sell Samurai Dogs! Want one? Gotta get money for dates, you know. My girl Kiyance deserves the best!
: (K-Kiyances…? Not another model, I hope…)
: Oh, Kiyance’s a fine, fine woman, Nick. It was her idea that I wear this costume! She was all “You go girlfriend!” Y’know? She bought this costume for me!
: That’s… that’s great, Larry.
: Wow! A Santa costume! She must be really nice!

: Nick! Who’s she? She’s not your…?
: Not my… what? N-no, she’s not!
: I’m his partner, Maya Fey. I’m, uh, the little sister.
: Sister…? …

: Working nine to five, having to take care of a little sister…
: N-no, I’m not Nick’s sister, I’m my older sister’s little sister…
: Huh. Sounds great!
: (Don’t worry, Maya, he’s not listening…)

: Hey, Larry. There was a murder here last night… You work here. Have you heard anything?
: Nick, you’re wasting your time. Last night was Christmas Eve!
: He was with Kiyance, obviously!
: He wouldn’t have been standing out here in the cold!
: Oof!
: ?
: I think what you just said caught him off guard, Maya.
: N-no, it’s just… Kiyance’s not in town right now. She… she’s in Hawaii on a photo shoot.
: (A model. I knew it.) Well, anyway, there was a murder here on the lake. The trial’s tomorrow.
: Huh. Neat.
: The defendant is Edgeworth. Miles Edgeworth.
: Um, Nick?
: Why would Larry know Edgeworth…?
: Whoa, Nick! You don’t mean THAT Miles Edgeworth!? Old Edgey!?
: Yeah. He’s a murder suspect.
: Wh-whoa! Murder?
: Huh? You know Mr. Edgeworth, Larry?
: Yeah! Of course!
: Edgey was in the same class as us in grade school!

: Umm… umm… tell me about the dogs!
: Huh? Oh, you mean the Samurai Dogs?
: W-why are they Samurai Dogs?
: I… I mean they kind of look gourd-shaped.
: Oh, well originally, they were Gourd Dogs! Y’know, like “guard dogs”?
: Ouch…
: The Samurai thing was Kiyance’s idea. Oh, she’s my woman, y’know. She was all “change the name and you go girlfriend!” She made me that banner! Man, the kids can’t get enough of those Samurai Dogs!
: Erm… Something about that just seems… wrong.
: Oh, and guess what? We’re getting a ton of customers here at the lake, what with the big news!
: The “big news”…?
: Yeah! Gourdy!
: G-“Gourdy”…?

: So, Mr. Edgeworth was your classmate, Larry?
: Yeah, Nick, him, and I used to hang out all the time.
: Wow… I never knew.
: Don’t get me wrong. He’s always been kind of a stick in the mud. Studying all the time, trying to “be like father.”
: Like his father…?
: Yeah. Edgey’s pop was a famous defense lawyer back in the day.
: Wow.
: Wait… You said “defense lawyer”?
: Yeah.
: Wait a second!
: But Mr. Edgeworth is a prosecuting attorney!
: What? Edgey’s got a proboscis on his knee!?
: No, no–he’s a “prosecuting attorney.” That’s like the total opposite of a defense lawyer!
: …
: Huh. Go figure! He always used to talk about defending the “weak” who were “unable to defend themselves.” Man, he used to go on and on about man’s duty to society and all that. What a bore! I wonder what changed his mind, though?

I feel I should point out that this took place when everyone involved was, like, ten.

: Do you know, Nick?
: … Nick…?

: Umm… what’s “Gourdy”?
: Huh? You mean you don’t know? It’s here, in this very lake! A giant, mysterious monster! Gourdy!
: A… monster?
: Yeah.

: Wow! It’s r-really real!

: Nick! A monster! A real monster!
: Umm… yeah. (It’s probably just a log or something… right?) Hey… there’s a quote here from the person who took the photo. Hmm? What’s this? “I set the camera to automatic, and when we got into the frame… I heard a loud ‘bang’! Like an explosion… followed by the sound of something slipping into the water…”

: I wish I could have seen it!
: (Why would there be a sound like an explosion…?) Larry. Could I borrow this article from you?
: Sure, no problem. That’ll be one million dollars!
: O-one million…?
: (Grow up, Larry.)

Oh, and we use the badge, of course.

: Dude, you really helped me out back in that trial.
: S-sorry, I can’t really pay you.
: (Cause you blow it all on “Kiyance”…!)
: But… you can have all the dogs you want!
: R-really!?
: Larry… If you let her at your dogs, you won’t have any left for the other customers.
: Hey, no problem. If that’s what makes her happy, y’know?
: (How many times do I have to remind you that it was ME who got you off the hook!)

And now, back to visit Grossberg.

: (Ah, that old familiar clearing of the throat!)

: Ah hah! You’re Mia’s… something, are you not?
: I was her understudy, yes. Phoenix Wright.
: Ah hah! And you, you’re Mia’s… something too, are you not?
: Her little sister, yes!
: You’ve grown! You’ve come to look a lot like your sister, you know? It takes me back. “Ahh… the days of my youth… like the scent of fresh lemon…” you see.
: Um, Mr. Grossberg, sir?
: Hmmm…?
: Ah, yes. I beg your pardon. Of course you came here to discuss something.
: What is it then? Something the matter?

: There was a murder last night…
: A murder?
: You haven’t heard…?
: I, er, just got up, you see.
: Well, Miles Edgeworth shot someone with a pistol.
: Edgeworth!? What!? W-who!?
: Well, the identity of the victim is still unknown.
: T-this is terrible news indeed!
: (I guess he hadn’t heard anything…)

: Mr. Grossberg? Whatever happened to that painting?
: Oh, yes…
: I do not think it shall ever be coming back home to this office. I can’t exactly claim it as stolen…
: I suppose it’s my just desserts. Old, bitter desserts.

First, badge.

: How proud Mia would be if she could see you now!
: She said she was more worried about me than anything.
: Aw, just go on and take the compliment, will you?

But next we present the autopsy report.

: I feel as though I’ve seen this man somewhere before! …
: Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
: Did you remember!?
: He was a lawyer! Here, in my office! That’s Hammond! Robert Hammond!
: Mr. Hammond…?
: And you say this is the man Miles Edgeworth shot?

: Who is this Hammond guy, anyway?
: Mr. Hammond… He was the defense attorney in that case…
: “That case”…?
: Yes, the “DL-6 Incident.”
: “DL-6”…? (Why does that sound so familiar?)
: Perhaps you remember?
: (I’m sure someone mentioned it during the trial for Mia’s murder.)
: That was the incident where the police were so at a loss they used a spirit medium.
: …! Wait… you don’t mean?
: Was that medium my mother?
: Yes, my dear. The spirit medium, Misty Fey, your mother, contacted the spirit of the victim.
: But… the case was at a loss. No conviction was made.

: The DL-6 Incident, yes… Happened 15 years ago. A very strange case, indeed.

: They never caught the criminal, right?
: Correct. Misty Fey used her powers to talk to the spirit of the late victim. Her testimony led to charges being laid against one man.

: … And the police blamed my mother, calling her a fraud.
: You were the one who helped her out then, right, Mr. Grossberg?
: Er… y-yes. Yes, quite.
: Thank you!
: N-no… please. D-don’t mention it.
: … (DL-6… Never thought I’d hear that name again…)
: But wait…
: What does that case have anything to do with Mr. Edgeworth?
: It has everything to do with Mr. Edgeworth, my dear! The victim in the DL-6 Incident was none other than his father, Gregory Edgeworth!
: Wh-what!? His father!?

: …
: If you want to know more, you should ask him yourself.

: Wait…
: This is a photograph of my mother!

Next time: Defense.

[quote=“Walnut City, California, Municipal Code Section 17-31”]17-31 Male dressing as female.
No man or boy shall dress as a girl or woman without a permit from the sheriff, except for the purpose of amusement, show or drama.[/quote]

[morsrattus]

Case 4 - Turnabout Goodbyes
Investigation (Day 1) - Part 4

: I was hoping you’d gotten my message the first time.
: Edgeworth, what about your defense?
: …! It’s no concern of yours.
: (Guess he hasn’t found anyone yet.)

: Can I ask you about the murder?
: Wright. I’ll ask you again, just leave me alone.
: …
: Please try to understand.
: I’m not doing this to prove I’m tough, or because I look down on you. I just don’t want you anywhere near this case. Understand?

: Why did you go to Gourd Lake?
: I have no intention of telling you.
: Nor, apparently, would you tell Detective Gumshoe.
: !
: Detective Gumshoe was really worried about you!
: …

But hey, what if we present that photo of Misty Fey we got from Grossberg?

: …
: Edgeworth?
: It’s only been a matter of hours since you last visited. Yet you’ve made incredible progress in your investigation.
: I’ll admit it, I’m impressed, Wright. You were always singleminded in your work, though. Once you start on something, you always see it through, don’t you?
: About the “DL-6 Incident”…
: Right… DL-6.
: I didn’t want you to find out about it. That is why I refused your offer to defend me.

: I just wanted to keep you away from DL-6.
: So… do you still think it would have been better for me to stay away?
: I don’t know. But… I see no point in hiding anything from you now.
: Very well. Ask whatever you like, and I will answer to the best of my abilities.

: The “DL-6 Incident”… was when my father died.

: He was shot and killed, and I saw it all.
: …!
: My memories from that time are… foggy. I suppose it’s a self-defense mechanism.
: In any case, a suspect was arrested… a man. It’s pretty clear he was the only one who could have killed my father. The spirit medium they used to talk to my late father said the same thing.

: And Hammond… is the victim in the Gourd Lake murder?
: Correct.
: Umm…
: That spirit medium… that was my mom.
: What? You mean you’re…?
: …
: It’s strange. I thought that terrible incident was about to end, and now… this.
: “About to end”?
: The DL-6 Incident happened 15 years ago. 15 years ago… on December 28.
: December 28?
: The statute of limitations on the case runs out in three days.
: What!?
: Um, Nick? What does that mean?
: When a case’s statute of limitations runs out, legally, the case never happened.
: Three days from now, DL-6 will be closed… forever.

: What happened to the suspect? The one who got off innocent?
: I don’t know… He disappeared from public view. Nobody knows where to. If he’s still alive, he’d be about 50 years old now.
: (I guess I can understand why he’d go into hiding… It’d be hard to live a normal life after being a murder suspect in such a big case.)

: Umm… so, was your father a lawyer?
: He was… Gregory Edgeworth. He was quite famous at the time, apparently.
: So, you were sort of trying to follow in his footsteps.
: … I’d rather not talk about it.

We present the badge again.

: I can’t say I really want to see one of those right now.

No dice. Maybe the photo of the shot?

: Who would have thought there’d be a photo…?
: Edgeworth… Did you shoot him?
: … What do you think, Wright?
: I don’t think you’re the kind to point a gun at anyone, no.
: So you didn’t shoot him?
: No, I didn’t. It wasn’t me.
: … Wright.
: ?
: It pains me to ask you this now…
: I know! You want us to defend you!

: Sorry, charley! No way!
: Wright…
: Nick…!? …
: H-hey, don’t look so serious, guys! I was kidding! Just a little joke!
: There was nothing little…
: …or joke-like about it!
: (I thought it was funny…)
: Nick! Do it over!
: Yes, Your Honor. How could I refuse you, Edgeworth?
: Thank you, Wright.

And this leaves us where the correct path would.

: Ah, who could have guessed this day would come?
: Not me.

Convergence.

: This is my chance to finally pay you back.
: Pay him back…?

: For what? I don’t remember ever doing anything for you.
: Never mind… I guess you don’t really need to know.
: Huh… My letter of request. Please give it to Detective Gumshoe.

: Well, I guess we should…

The scren keeps rumbling and shaking for the next bit.

: It’s a big one! Whaaaaa!

It slows, though.

: I-it’s calming down… … Whew… that was scary!

And it stops.

: …? Huh? Where’s Edgeworth?
: …
: There. He’s on the floor in a ball, shivering.
: I guess he doesn’t do so well with earthquakes.
: (I’ve heard of running, but curling up in a ball?)
: Well, I guess we’re done. Mr. Edgeworth doesn’t seem like he’s going to stand up any time soon.
: Let’s go, Nick!
: Uh… right. We have to give Edgeworth’s letter of request to Detective Gumshoe.

: Eek!
: W-what’s wrong, Detective?
: This wild lady comes in here just a while ago… Says she came “to talk to y’all after hearing what Mr. Wright had to say”! What’s this all about, pal!?
: (Lotta Hart…)
: Why are you going around finding more witnesses!? You want to give Mr. Edgeworth the death sentence, pal!?
: N-no, not at all… Just… I mean, she did see something. There’s nothing I can do about that. I can’t go around covering up evidence!
: Er…
: You trying to say something about the way I do my job?
: No sir!

: So… what did Ms. Hart say?
: She says she saw Mr. Edgeworth fire the pistol.

: She even had a photograph to prove it.
: Right. I saw it too…

: That’s why she said she’s going to enlarge the photo. She said “it’ll drop the quality a mite, but should let us see who’s who!”
: She can do that!?
: (Okay, so there’s going to be an enlarged photograph that shows Edgeworth in the act. Great. Just great.)
: In any case, she’s going to be the one testifying tomorrow.
: Huh? What happened to the other witness?
: Well… Apparently, there was a cancellation.
: (A “cancellation”…!?)

: I’m afraid tomorrow is going to be life or death for poor Mr. Edgeworth. We got a witness who says she saw the very moment of the murder. And we got a photo taken when the shot rang out.
: (I’d say that sounds like a pretty unwinnable case… But wait… What did Mia used to say? If he’s innocent, there’s got to be something I’ve overlooked…)

: It sounds like Mr. Edgeworth is going to ask the state to assign a public defender. I was just asked to file the paperwork.
: But you still got time, pal!
: Go talk to him again, for me, please! You have to convince him!
: You have to make him let you defend him! Please! I know you’re the only one who can do it, pal. You’re the only one who can save Mr. Edgeworth!

We present the Request, to let him know we have him covered.

: … Hey, you did it, pal! Glad I waited till the last minute to file those papers! I’ll rip 'em up and start new ones for you!
: Thanks, Detective. Well, see you in court tomorrow, then.
: Good luck, pal.

: Hey!
: You guys feel that earthquake a little while back?
: I was worried!
: Worried?
: We’re fine! I’ve lived out here my whole life. I’m pretty used to them by now.

: Oh, I wasn’t worried about you two.
: I was worried about Mr. Edgeworth!
: (Oh, right…) He did seem to over-react a little, now that you mention it.
: Yeah, well, I’m not surprised. It was a pretty big quake.
: I’m going to go check on him. You two go eat and get your rest for tomorrow’s trial.
: Later!

He leaves.

: … I wonder what it is with Mr. Edgeworth and earthquakes?
: I wonder… He was never that scared of them when he was in school.

: (He transferred to another school after that. I wonder what happened to Edgeworth…)

Next time: Trial.

[quote=“Skamania County, Washington, Ordinance 69-01”]WHEREAS, there is evidence to indicate the possible existence in Skamania County of a nocturnal primate mammal variously described as an ape-like creature or a sub-species of Homo Sapian [sic], and
WHEREAS, this creature is generally and commonly known as a “Sasquatch,” “Yeti,” “Bigfoot,” or “Giant Hairy Ape,” and
WHEREAS, publicity attendant upon such real or imagined sightings has resulted in an influx or scientific investigators as well as casual hunters, many armed with lethal weapons, and
WHEREAS, the absence of specific laws covering the taking of specimens encourages laxity in the use of firearms … and poses a clear and present threat to [citizens] as well as to the creatures themselves,
THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED that any premeditated, wilful and wanton slaying of any such creature shall be deemed a felony punishable by a fine not to exceed Ten Thousand Dollars ($10,000.00) and/or imprisonment in the county jail for a period not to exceed Five (5) years.
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that the situation existing constitutes an emergency and as such this ordinance is effective immediately.[/quote]

[morsrattus]

(interchapter filler time!)

[morsrattus]

(I hope at least I don’t have too many more posts that break character limit here)

[morsrattus]

Case 4 - Turnabout Goodbyes
Trial (Day 2) - Part 1

: That’s right, Manfred von Karma. He’s the best prosecutor there is. He hasn’t lost a case in his 40-year career. He is a god of prosecution, Wright! A god!
: Not a single case?
: He’ll do anything to get a guilty verdict, anything.
: Hmm. Sounds like someone else I know, Edgeworth.
: Hmph.
: You don’t understand. I mean he’ll really do anything. Manfred von Karma is a man to be feared.
: (That’s quite a claim coming from someone who forges evidence…)
: He taught me what it really means to “prosecute.”
: Wh-what!?
: Just picture a prosecutor as vicious as me… multiplied by a factor of ten.
: Ugh…
: So… so was he your teacher, then, Mr. Edgeworth?
: Something like that…
: And now he’s trying to get you found guilty!? What a creep!
: Oh, wait…
: Maybe he’s planning on losing on purpose to help you out!
: Not a chance… He hasn’t lost once in 40 years. 40 years!
: He’s as ruthless as me, times twenty!
: That’s pretty ruthless…
: Like I said. He’s a god among prosecutors.
: (I guess that’s something like Mia was to me. Speaking of Mia…) Um, Maya?
: Uh huh?
: We could really be using Mia’s help right now… don’t you think?
: Oh…
: ?
: I can’t.
: Sorry. I tried, I really tried, but I couldn’t reach.
: You couldn’t “reach”?
: I think it’s because I haven’t been training.
: My powers are weak again…
: Oh man, what bad timing! I’m really sorry. I’ll try my best!
: I hope so!
: What are you whispering about?
: O-oh, it’s nothing. Well, it’s time. Let’s head in…

: Court is now in session for the trial of Mr. Miles Edgeworth.
: The defense is ready, Your Honor.

: Erm, Mr. von Karma? Is the prosecution ready?

: Fool…

: R-right, my apologies!
: (He’s even got the Judge scared!)
: Very well, your opening statement, please.
: … Decisive evidence… A decisive witness…
: What else could possibly be required?
: Ah… er, nothing of course. That should be fine. The prosecution may call its first witness.
: What’s with this guy? Is he royalty or something?
: How am I supposed to fight against this!?
: I call the detective in charge of this case, Detective Dick Gumshoe.
: (Okay, Gumshoe’s first… Let’s see how this goes.)

: Describe the incident. Now!
: Y-yessir!
: (Detective Gumshoe looks nervous…)
: Er, please take a look at the map.

: There were two men on the boat.

: At 12:10 AM, she heard two pistol shots. Then the boat started to move.

: Hmm.

And while we’re in here, our new profiles.

Anyway…

: Testify to the court about your arrest. Now!
: W-w-wait! Mr. von Karma…
: Yes?
: Actually, I’m the one that’s supposed to be handling these proceedings…

: Wrong. There is only one thing you need to do here.
: You will slam down your gavel and say the word “guilty.” That is your role!
: Y-yes, of course. You’re quite right.
: (No he’s not!!!)

: Hmm… I see. Very well…
: Begin your cross-examination, attorney. Now!
: …

: You received a call from a “man”?
: Er… yup.
: But you said there was a woman camping there?
: She was the one who heard the two gunshots, right?

: That woman and the “man” who called in the report are two different people, obviously!
: Different people?
: There were two witnesses!

: Their testimonies were quite similar however. Today I’ve summoned the woman who was camping.
: (The woman who was camping… Lotta Hart.)
: What happened next, Detective?

: How long was it between receiving the report and your arrival at the lake?
: Er, well… I’d say it was about three minutes.
: That’s pretty fast!
: Our motto for the month is “get there quick.”

: Y-yessir! Sorry, sir!
: Do that and you’ll be able to look forward to your next salary review.

: So much to look forward to, these days…
: This is no time for daydreaming! Continue!
: Y-yessir!

: What was Mr. Edgeworth like when you saw him then?
: Well… From what I saw, he looked pretty relaxed. Not like a murderer at all, really.

: Detective! The court requires the facts, NOT your opinion! How many years have you been on the force!?

: Facts only, Detective! Hard, cold, objective facts!
: Y-y-yessir!
: (Man, he’s got his share of objections…)

: Why didn’t you think he was suspicious?
: You should know! We have a deep, trusting relationship with the prosecutors.

: Detective! The court isn’t interested in your musings! “Deep”? “Trusting”? Poppycock!

: I’ve never heard so many flippant comments from an active detective on the force!
: Mmph!
: (Detective Gumshoe doesn’t look so good…)
: Continue! Now!

: Did you find any clues on the body?

: He was shot through the heart… fatally.
: Judge! Here’s the bullet… It didn’t strike bone, so its shape is well preserved.
: Very well. The court accepts this bullet into evidence.

: W-why is that?
: Well, we found the murder weapon in the boat.
: The murder weapon…?

: Detective Gumshoe… That is a vital piece of information. Please revise your testimony.
: Right! S-sorry, Your Honor.

: What about the pistol made it “decisive evidence”?

: (Ack! He has the same evil laugh as Edgeworth…)

: They were clear prints from Mr. Edgeworth’s right hand.

: Order! Order!
: So Mr. Edgeworth’s fingerprints were found on the murder weapon!?
: Y-yes, Your Honor.

: A-accepted into evidence.

: Members of the court… We now have the pistol used in the murder, and the bullet found in the body!

: Detective!
: Y-y-yessir!

: …
: Hey, Nick!
: What does he mean, “ballistic markings”?
: Shocking! To imagine someone here does not know something as basic as ballistic markings!
: N-Nick! He’s glaring at me!
: Tsk… very well, I’ll explain. Actually, Judge! You do it.
: Eh? M-me? …
: Erm, ahem.

: Ballistic markings are like the “fingerprints” of a gun. The barrel leaves distinctive marks on each bullet it fires. You can examine these “ballistic fingerprints” to see which gun fired the shot. It’s quite accurate.
: Indeed.

: This pistol which, as you may recall, was covered with the defendant’s own fingerprints!

: O-order! Order!
: (This is bad… This makes it look like Edgeworth did it!)

: Well, Judge?
: I’d say it’s almost decisive, yes. Honestly, I could declare a verdict at this point. However…

: You wish to hear the witness speak, no doubt. Very well.
: I am somewhat fatigued, and so I will take a brief break. I will call my witness after the recess. Which will last ten minutes.
: Judge!
: Y-yes?
: What are you doing? A ten minute recess! Now!
: B-but, wait, I…

: Just bang your flimsy gavel and get on with it, man!
: Y-yes!

: Ahem. The court will take a ten minute recess.
: (Who’s running this court, anyway!?)

: Your fingerprints were on the murder weapon!
: Uh… hmm…

: The only one who could have shot that man was the person in the photo!
: True…
: Was that you in the boat?
: … Yes. It was me.
: What!?
: But… you must believe me. I didn’t shoot him.
: Th-then who did!?
: I… don’t know.
: You don’t know!? Weren’t you right there!?
: … I heard a gunshot from very close by. Then… the other man fell from the boat. I can’t say why, but…
: I thought, at the time, that he had shot himself!
: Y-you mean it was a suicide!?
: …
: That’s the only explanation I can come up with.
: Huh… (How am I going to convince anyone of that!?) Say, Maya?
: Huh? Wh-what?
: Any progress with Mia?
: Oh… Sorry. It’s no good.
: Ugh…
: I know… I’m no good for anything, am I, Nick?

: Um, well, actually… (You don’t know law, you don’t have any trial experience or techniques… Yeah, you’re pretty much useless… but I can’t say that!)
: It’s okay Nick. You don’t have to say anything. Your face said it for you.
: i[/i] N-no, o-of course we… I’m sorry.
: It’s okay, Nick.

Or…

: No, of course not, I need you here! I can see you’re always trying to help out. Even if oyu don’t actually help… it’s the thought that counts, right?
: It’s okay Nick. You don’t have to make me feel better.

Convergence.

: I don’t know anything about trials, or defense… What’s more, I’m a spirit medium who can’t even contact spirits…
: Aww, everyone has their off days! I mean, I’ve just been getting lucky lately… But you never know when my luck is going to run out!
: Really…?

: Don’t jinx this case any worse than it already is!
: It’s bad for my heart…
: Oh? Oh! S-sorry… i[/i]

Next time: The Curse of Draculawyer.

[quote=Goods and Services Tax Act, Australia, section 165.55 (1999)]The [Australian Tax] Commissioner may:
[list][]Treat a particular event that actually happened as not having happened;
[]Treat a particular event that did not actually happen as having happened, and, if appropriate, treat the event as having happened at a particular time and having involved particular action by a particular entity; (or)
[*]Treat a particular event that actually happened as having happened at a time different from the time it actually happened, or having involved particular action by a particular entity (whether or not the event actually involved any action by that entity).[/list][/quote]

[morsrattus]

Case 4 - Turnabout Goodbyes
Trial (Day 2) - Part 2

: Court is back in session.
: Mr. von Karma, call your witness.
: Yes.
: Will Ms. Lotta Hart take the stand?

: Lotta Hart, you are a research student at a university?
: That I am.
: Good. Begin by telling us what you saw the night of the incident. and don’t add anything trivial or subjective.
: Understand?
: … Y’all need to learn some manners.

: UNDERSTAND?
: Y-yeah, I understand, I understand!
: Er… very well. Your testimony, please.

: Enough.
: Huh?
: Judge! She happened to take a photo of the incident!

: W-well! This is a surprise!

: O-Order! I will remove you from the court if I do not have order immediately!
: As the witness testified, she looked at the lake when she heard the shot. There were no other boats on that lake! So, the man in the boat with the victim must have been the one who shot him…

: Yes. It was the defendant, Miles Edgeworth!!!

: Order! Order! Order…! I will have order!
: …

: The evidence is… decisive.
: I have very little doubt about this case.

: Very well, this court finds the defendant…

: W-wait! Your Honor!
: I haven’t cross-examined the witness yet!
: A cross-examination?

: This photo is worth a thousand words… and they all read “guilty”!
: You lose. Or…
: Do you claim to have found a contradiction in her testimony!?

: …!
: Very well. If you have to, you may cross-examine the witness. You will only flounder and ask meaningless questions!
: You will fail to find anything!

: And then, I will have you held in contempt of court!
: Uh, Nick… contempt…?
: “Contempt of court,” you know?
: I… guess I understand.
: Well… what are you going to do?

: I… think I noticed one little thing…
: Wow, I’m impressed, Nick! I didn’t notice anything!
: Right! Let’s take him on!
: Y-yeah… (I got a bad feeling about this…)

: Honestly, I found nothing.
: I dunno, I thought her testimony was strange. She was so vague about everything!
: I bet von Karma probably fed her her lines.
: But…
: But if you don’t cross-examine her, the judge will…
: He’ll bang down that “flimsy gavel” of his and declare Edgeworth guilty.
: I guess we’ll just have to bluff it.
: But if we mess up… contempt of court.
: Hey, if we lose we’ll be held in public contempt!
: Er… right.

Convergence.

: I understand… I will cross-examine the witness!
: Tsk tsk tsk… Very well!
: I pray for your sake this isn’t a waste of time.

: “Just after midnight,” you say?
: In other words, it was no longer Christmas Eve… but Christmas Day!
: Huh? Uh, yeah, well, yes.

: I know you want to find contradictions, but really!
: Mmmph.
: I hope your next contradiction is a little more relevant to the trial. Witness, continue your testimony.

: Why were you camping there, anyway?
: I’m a research student at my university.
: I was taking pictures to use in my research.

: Ms. Hart. Could you be more specific about your “research”?

: What does the witness’s motive in camping by the lake have to do with this case!? The answer is “nothing”! I object to this line of questioning! Objection sustained!
: W-w-wait, now, I’m the one who says that!
: Well, then say it already!
: Objection sustained.
: (Thanks for nothing, Your Honor…)

: So, you weren’t looking at the lake at that time?
: Nope. I looked after I heard that noise.

: She’s said that already! I asked you to find “contradictions”!
: Not leisurely chat with the witness!
: i[/i]

: Could you clearly see the two men?
: Just look at the picture! Clear enough for you?

: Wait a second! I wasn’t asking you about the photo!

: I was asking if YOU saw the two men!
: Uh, yeah, well, of course…

: The witness has testified that she saw them! There’s also a photo! You’d best look elsewhere for your precious contradictions!
: (He jumped in quick… He’s hiding something!)

: Were you watching the very moment the shot rang out?
: Well, yeah, sure…

: You’re asking meaningless questions! Meaningless!

: “Contradictions,” Mr. Wright. Not meaningless babble!
: (von Karma, I think I hate you. He’s trying to keep me from talking to the witness… To what end…?)

: Are you sure about that?
: Yeah, sure as a country gal can be!

: How come you’re so sure?
: Well, heck, I scanned the whole lake.
: (“Scanned the whole lake”? It almost sounds like she was more interested in the lake than the boat…)
: Ms. Hart… you–

: Mr. Wright! The witness has answered the question in full.
: Mmph!
: No need for further questions! Objection sustained!
: U-uh, that’s what I’m…
: Sustained!
: Y-yes, of course.
: (Oh great…)

: Enough!
: I think we’ve heard all we need to hear, Mr. Wright. It seems you are unable to find a contradiction in the testimony worth noting.
: B-but, Your Honor!

: You keep your promise!

: Mr. Wright. I am afraid that I will have to penalize any further outbursts…
: By holding you in contempt of court!
: And if that happens, you will have to leave the courtroom immediately!
: Understood…?
: Uh… uh huh.
: Nick…! Lotta’s testimony is fishy, Nick! Real fishy!
: I… know what you mean. But… If I can’t say anything, what can I do?

: I believe we’ve covered the evidence sufficiently to make a decision.
: Then, pass your judgment!

: Very well. Mr. Miles Edgeworth, please take the stand.

: i[/i]
: I-is something wrong? D-do you need to use the facilities?
: No, I do not! Lotta Hart! Your testimony stinks! It’s unclear whether you were actually looking at the lake! It’s highly doubtful that you actually saw Mr. Edgeworth! Tell us the truth! This is a matter of life or death!

: Lotta! Did you really clearly see Mr. Edgeworth that night!? Did you see him fire that pistol!?

: You will stand down!
: The court does not acknowledge the defense’s outburst!
: Answer me, Lotta!
: What’s the big idea, treating me like some kind of criminal!? I saw him! I swear it! I saw Edgeworth…

: Enough! Judge…
: Declare the defense in contempt of court!
: Y-yes… yes, of course.
: I’m sorry, but you WERE warned.
: Guard! Escort Mr. Wright out of the courtroom! He is in contempt of court, and must leave.
: (No… No…!)

: I-I was the one who made the outburst, Your Honor! Nick is innocent!

: Hah! What’s the difference? All that remains is for the guilty verdict to be declared!

: (Dammit, he’s right…)
: N-Nick! There must be something we can do!
: I… don’t think there is. The cross-examination is over already!
: B-but… but didn’t Lotta just say she saw him? She did, Nick! She just said that she saw Mr. Edgeworth!
: She didn’t say that in her testimony, did she?
: …! Y-you’re right!
: Your Honor!

: Wrong!
: What!?

Convergence.

: Did you hear what Ms. Hart just said?
: She said she clearly saw Mr. Edgeworth!

: That was not in the testimony! That changes her testimony, and I have a right to cross-examine her again!

: Order! Order! Order! Order! Order! Order!
: You’re in contempt of court! It’s too late for wild claims! Judge! Sustain my objection!
: …
: I’m sorry, Mr. von Karma, but I cannot.
: What!?
: Ms. Lotta Hart has made a new testimony.
: The defense does have a right to cross-examine her again.
: B-but he is in contempt of court!
: No, I am! If you’re going to arrest someone, arrest me!
: Hmm…

: Very well. Maya Fey! You will leave this courtroom immediately.
: Nick!
: I did what I could…
: You have to do the rest! Good luck!
: M-Maya…!

: Peh! I care not for this melodrama! Listen well, Mr. Wright!
: I do not tolerate badgering of my witnesses!
: (I’m running out of time… I’d better find a contradiction in here or else…)
: Mr. Wright! Begin your cross-examination!

We can press, but that may not be the best plan.

: Well, what about the other man?

: You cannot expect to be allowed to blithely ignore your promise, Mr. Wright! I believe you claimed there was a contradiction in the witness’s testimony! Well, find it!
: If you can!

: i[/i]
: (That’s it…? Uh oh. I don’t know if I can find anything in that…)
: (What will Maya say…?)

Can you spot it?

Next time: Objection.

[quote=R.S.N.S., chapter 269, section 3 (Nova Scotia)]Every keeper of a public eating place where margarine is served shall
(a) where a menu is used, cause to be displayed thereon in a conspicuous manner the words “margarine is served here”;
(b) where a menu is not used, cause to be displayed in a conspicuous manner in each room or place where food is served a sign or placard bearing the words “margarine is served here” in letters large enough to be distinctly seen from all parts of each room or place.[/quote]

[morsrattus]

Case 4 - Turnabout Goodbyes
Trial (Day 2) - Part 3

: Got you, Ms. Hart! Finally!
: Wh-what!? You got what?

: The photo I took…?
: The very same.

: The fog, Ms. Hart.
: So… so?
: This picture was taken with professional, high quality film, correct? Yet even it could not capture the faces of the men on the boat!

: Yet you claim you saw Mr. Edgeworth!

: How!?

: Mr. Wright has a point!

: That’s why I told her not to say that in her testimony! Please!
: Yet, now she has said it, Mr. von Karma.
: How could you possibly see Mr. Edgeworth!? Explain yourself!
: Ms. Hart.
: What!
: Could you see the defendant that night?
: O-of course! I said I could and I meant I could!
: Then, please testify as to the circumstances of your sighting.
: (I did it! I finally found a hole in von Karma’s carefully vague testimony!)

: Hmm… You used binoculars?
: Very well. You may begin your cross-examination, Mr. Wright.
: (This one’d better be good!)

: So? How could you see Edgeworth!?
: Now, just hold your horses for a second!
: You hasty Yankee types’d never find a gal where I’m from.
: Defense attorneys have trouble with that as it is.
: (Nobody loves me…)

: Your “camera”…?
: Yeah. It’s got an automatic…

: The issue we are concerned with here is Ms. Hart seeing Mr. Edgeworth!
: The camera has nothing to do with this at all!

: Objection sustained.
: (Argh! He’s not letting her answer any of my questions!)

: “Binoculars”?
: Yeah, binoculars.
: Yesterday, you mentioned that you were out looking for shooting stars, correct?
: Well… yeah.

: Wouldn’t you need a telescope, not binoculars, for that?

: I’ve got doubts about your camera, too!
: Was that really to take pictures of meteor showers?

: The camera is irrelevant to this case!
: You can’t say that for certain!
: Hmm… Mr. Wright.
: Is the camera really relevant to this case? If you believe it is, you may continue with this line of questioning.
: But know this!
: If you find nothing with this, there will be consequences!
: Well, Mr. Wright?

: (This is make-it-or-break-it time!)

: The camera is of utmost importance, Your Honor. It is, perhaps, the key to this entire case!
: Therefore, I will continue my line of questioning! (Wow! Maybe I went a little overboard there…)

: Very well! Ms. Hart! You will testify to the court about the camera!
: Yeah, yeah, I hear ya.

: Ms. Hart. What made you choose that lake to photograph meteors?
: You know the fog gets thick on that lake. It’s not very suited to stargazing.
: Yeah, well… Y’see, I…
: I guess I wasn’t thinking too straight! Har!

: Mr. Wright!
: I will not have you badgering my witness because of her challenged intellect!
: Now wait a minute!
: Continue your testimony. You were saying how it was that you saw Edgeworth?
: Grr…
: No unnecessary comments, please.

: If there was a heavy fog, how would binoculars change that at all?
: What do you mean?
: Even binoculars can’t see through fog! But… you say you clearly saw him?
: Er…
: I did… yeah.

: Enough! There is no room for doubt in her testimony!
: (Hmm. She sounded pretty doubtful to me!)
: (But… I have to find a clear contradiction first. I don’t care how many von Karmic objections I get… I’m going to find a hole in this testimony if it’s the last thing I do!)

And loop. Do you see the contradiction?

: You were photographing shooting stars? That’s a lie!

: S-says who!?

: I saw the camera you set up yesterday. It was pointed directly at the lake!
: You have to point a camera upwards to take photos of the stars, Ms. Hart!

: Mr. Wright! What are you driving at?
: The witness was not at the lake to photograph shooting stars, Your Honor!
: …!

: Well… that I don’t know.

: What the witness takes photos of is entirely her business! This has nothing to do with the case!
: Not to mention that you can’t even show us another reason why she might have been there.

: Mr. Wright… If you are out of material, I suggest we end this mockery of a cross-examination.
: (Uh oh… I can’t let the trial end like this! I have to show them something!)

Which drops us at the other choice.

: Your Honor! Take a look at this…

: Ms. Hart.

: What’s this? A newspaper article?

: Ah, the sighting at Gourd Lake…
: Well, Ms. Hart?
: I… I never heard of no lake monster! You got proof or something?

: Well, I don’t have proof…

: Bah! Your ineptitude is entertaining, Mr. Wright, but enough is enough! I’ve had enough of baseless claims without a hair of evidence to support them!

: Well all right, if that’s how you want to play… I’ll show you evidence!
: Mr. Wright! Are you sure about this?
: (I’m sure sick of that smarmy prosecutor putting me down!)
: (Or… did he taunt me so I’d get mad and make a mistake?)

: I have it! Proof!
: Hmm… Intriguing!

Convergence.

: Very well, let’s see it. And… no joking around this time, please.

: Your camera was set to take photos in response to loud noises, correct?

: …

: Gourdy made a loud noise when it emerged!

: Well? You were trying to photograph Gourdy, weren’t you!
: That’s why you had set your camera to respond to loud noises!

: Order! Order!
: I see…
: I, too, thought it was a little strange.
: (Yeah, sure!)
: Well, Ms. Hart?

: You were camping there to try and take a photo of Gourdy, weren’t you?
: … Yeah.
: Not bad. Are all you lawyers that smart? So, smart boy, I was down there trying to photograph Gourdy, you got me.
: So what?
: Huh…?

: That doesn’t change what I saw, does it?
: Exactly! What you just used several precious minutes of our time to prove…
: is nothing more than that the witness is an idiot who thinks monsters exist!
: H-hey!
: But, as she so succinctly said, so what!?
: It changes nothing!
: (Not true! You were hiding the whole thing about Gourdy for some reason, I know it!)
: (But what could it have been…? Whatever it is, I’m getting to the bottom of this!)
: Ms. Hart. Why did you hide the fact that you were searching for Gourdy from the court?
: Please revise your testimony.
: …
: Right. Fine, I’ll testify. It won’t change nothing, though.
: (Something will change… it has to! And I’m going to spot it!)
: …

: Hmm…
: Well, Mr. Wright. You may cross-examine the witness.

: The witness’s testimony is unchanged from before! Whether she is a research student or a photographer has no bearing on this case!

: There is no need to waste more of our time with another pointless cross-examination!
: Er… hmm.

: I claim the defense’s right to cross-examine the witness, Your Honor! (von Karma’s up to something, I know it! He doesn’t want me to cross-examine her because… why? Was there a contradiction?)
: Very well. You may begin the cross-examination. You seem sure of yourself, you must have something in mind.
: Hah! That would be a first!
: (Hah hah, very funny.)
: You understand that this is your last chance at a cross-examination, Mr. Wright?
: If there is no problem with the testimony this time, we will let the witness leave. I will announce my verdict at that time, Mr. Wright.
: Understood?
: Yes, Your Honor.

Next time: The last chance.

[quote=Beef Cattle Marketing Act, R.S.O. (1990), Chapter B.5.3, Ontario]Licenses
(1) Except under the authority of a licence, no person shall sell cattle.
(2) Every person who sells cattle shall be deemed to be the holder of a licence.[/quote]