# New Forums Game: The Worst Advice! **URL:** \ **Category:** Off Topic\ **Created:** [February 17, 2017, 3:49am UTC](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589 "2017-02-17T03:49:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Mas](https://www.lp.zone/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Mas](https://www.lp.zone/u/Mas)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 4:51pm UTC](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589/81 "2017-03-23T16:51:02Z")
Seems you can trick it into letting you insert it if you change the poll type and then change it back. Alternatively, just break out the old `[poll]` tags and put a \* or - before every line. _Poll ([view on site](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589/81))_ (This is the part where the preview betrays me, isn’t it) ---
**Author:** ![Jenner](https://www.lp.zone/user_avatar/www.lp.zone/jenner/32/85067_2.png) [@Jenner](https://www.lp.zone/u/Jenner)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 4:56pm UTC](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589/82 "2017-03-23T16:56:22Z")
I brute forced it using forums code and now everyone can vote to continue the game. However, it won’t let me vote in the lovely poll you made. Anyway, y’all should vote and we can troubleshoot this in the thread I made in site feedback. ---
**Author:** ![Mas](https://www.lp.zone/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Mas](https://www.lp.zone/u/Mas)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 5:05pm UTC](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589/83 "2017-03-23T17:05:26Z")
That’s just because I’d closed it. The only thing broken is my decision making. ---
**Author:** ![Jenner](https://www.lp.zone/user_avatar/www.lp.zone/jenner/32/85067_2.png) [@Jenner](https://www.lp.zone/u/Jenner)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 5:09pm UTC](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589/84 "2017-03-23T17:09:34Z")
This is a really hard choice because I have to choose whether I have a cat or if she says meow. It’s BOTH. Poll so hard. ---
**Author:** ![Jenner](https://www.lp.zone/user_avatar/www.lp.zone/jenner/32/85067_2.png) [@Jenner](https://www.lp.zone/u/Jenner)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2017, 4:11pm UTC](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589/85 "2017-03-24T16:11:43Z")
@Mas won! I’m really glad this game is continuing on. :3: Let us know your problem when you’re ready Mas! The alarms in my phone are definitely working. ---
**Author:** ![Mas](https://www.lp.zone/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Mas](https://www.lp.zone/u/Mas)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2017, 6:34pm UTC](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589/86 "2017-03-24T18:34:47Z")
Ah, nuts. I was supposed to come second. I have three cats and each likes one while hating the other - nobody wins. What can I do to make this feline love-hate triangle better? ---
**Author:** ![spaceyroach](https://www.lp.zone/user_avatar/www.lp.zone/spaceyroach/32/2627_2.png) [@spaceyroach](https://www.lp.zone/u/spaceyroach)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2017, 6:49pm UTC](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589/87 "2017-03-24T18:49:30Z")
You know, I had this same problem with my three cats. I decided to serve as a relationship counselor for them, but I felt they would respond better to a counselor they could relate to, you know? So, what I did was I built a robot cat (actually, I kidnapped a Russian scientist and made _him_ build one, but details…) and put my brain inside of it. They hated robot kitty me and I was the subject of many brutal hisses and clawings. Though, in a way, my plan did end up working because I gave them a common enemy to bring them closer together. The only drawback is that I could never switch my brain back so now I am cat forever. Still, I would highly recommend doing the same. ---
**Author:** ![That\_Good\_Good\_Chris](https://www.lp.zone/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/t/a9a28c/32.png) [@That\_Good\_Good\_Chris](https://www.lp.zone/u/That_Good_Good_Chris)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2017, 7:49pm UTC](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589/88 "2017-03-24T19:49:20Z")
Ah the classic BvS: Dawn of Justice problem. What you got to do is splice something one of the cats killed with some alien DNA, throw in some shotty CGI, and then drag the damn thing out for 3 hours. In the end, the cats will form an alliance, but one of them will be dead until the other 2 cats form a questionable Justice League of Cats. ---
**Author:** ![Wordybird](https://www.lp.zone/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@Wordybird](https://www.lp.zone/u/Wordybird)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2017, 7:55pm UTC](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589/89 "2017-03-24T19:55:10Z")
You see this as a problem, but me? I see it as an opportunity. You’ve got here three healthy, hale cats with a lot of aggression to work out. So, what you need to do is legitimise this violence into something profitable. Hire a TV crew, producer, director, cameramen, set designers, the works. Now you want to build yourself a big old fighting ring (or square or octagon or whatever), put the cats inside and film the result. Once that pilot episode takes off (which it will) you can use that cash to hire more cats (let’s call them talent from here on out) and build your brand new furry federation into a real media monster. That’s right, I’m talking about making your very own Worldwide Wrestling Felines. ---
**Author:** ![Grasslamb](https://www.lp.zone/user_avatar/www.lp.zone/grasslamb/32/1028_2.png) [@Grasslamb](https://www.lp.zone/u/Grasslamb)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2017, 9:46pm UTC](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589/90 "2017-03-24T21:46:17Z")
Being the newest cat in Cat Highschool hard, you have to deal with the change in cat culture compared to one they lived in before they moved. Thankfully the clique are always the same like the Naynletes, the Gotchirr, the Catnip Heads, (gag me with a spoon) the Meweeks with the Popurrlator Girls will anyways at the top of the food chain. What you need to do is have your cat befriend a plucky group of outcast so they can go on wacky and zandy adventures learning the meaning of friendship and enjoying their last year at Cat Highschool. Then Cat Prom will come and the CUTEST CAT in school will ask them out despite the fact she’s a total dweeb. Give your cat the makeover of a lifetime. We’re talking full blown make over here with hair, clothing, makeup, and whatever come to your mind during the fashion montage. They will no longer but a nerdy cat but so beautiful young cat that everyone will stop and stare at her. Beauty is on the inside as well as the outside! When they crown her Cat Prom Queen they the other cats have to befriend her! I saw it in a movie once, it will totally work. Sorry about getting you arrested for the whale fry thing. ---
**Author:** ![HostileV](https://www.lp.zone/user_avatar/www.lp.zone/hostilev/32/1241_2.png) [@HostileV](https://www.lp.zone/u/HostileV)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2017, 10:46pm UTC](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589/91 "2017-03-24T22:46:49Z")
Two words: Cat BDSM. Get them to channel their aggression into an appetite for sexual desire so they’ll just fuck the next time they want to fight. Upside: less destructive, less noisy. Downside: unless your cats are spayed and neutered, you’re gonna be knee-deep in kittens. Further upside: people want to _buy_ kittens. ---
**Author:** ![Jenner](https://www.lp.zone/user_avatar/www.lp.zone/jenner/32/85067_2.png) [@Jenner](https://www.lp.zone/u/Jenner)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2017, 3:32am UTC](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589/92 "2017-03-30T03:32:57Z")
The real solution is to hire an exorcist to remove the bad spirits from your home that must be causing your cats to quarrel. Then learn Feng Shui and rearrange your home to create good energy and foster harmony in your home. If neither of that works hire an animal therapist to work out these issues between your cats. If that doesn’t work just get a fourth cat so they pair off. ---
**Author:** ![Shmoo](https://www.lp.zone/user_avatar/www.lp.zone/shmoo/32/928_2.png) [@Shmoo](https://www.lp.zone/u/Shmoo)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2017, 6:44am UTC](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589/93 "2017-03-30T06:44:22Z")
Cats, huh? I don’t know a lot about cats. I’ve heard you can put them in separate rooms and introduce them slowly, but who has the time. I recently watched an educational program called _Dragon Ball Z_ and they did something with a big room called the hyperbolic time chamber. Put your cats in that. They will work out their problems in the span of an hour, but it will feel like centuries or something to them. I think? I didn’t pay that close attention and I don’t know anything about cats. ---
**Author:** ![Jenner](https://www.lp.zone/user_avatar/www.lp.zone/jenner/32/85067_2.png) [@Jenner](https://www.lp.zone/u/Jenner)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2017, 4:24pm UTC](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589/94 "2017-03-30T16:24:01Z")
It’s that time again and wow this game is moving like clockwork now that I’ve set those alarms in my phone. (Though it was a little hard to get out of bed this time…) Let’s get to It! [poll] - spaceyroach: Build a robot cat, put your brain inside of it, and unite your cats against a common enemy as they hate the robot. - That\_Good\_Good\_Chris: Splice something the cats killed with some alien DNA, add CGI, waste people’s time for 3 hours, Justice League of Cats! - Wordybird: Hire a TV crew, a producer, director, camera man, the works. Build a ring. Televise World Wrestling Felines. - Grasslamb: Cat Highschool is hard! But after befriending a plucky group of outcasts, a few zany adventures, your cat will be asked out by the cutest cat in school. Give your cat a make over and watch her become Cat Prom Queen! Now that she’s popular, the other cats will befriend her. - HostileV: Cat BDSM. Channel their aggression into some kinky hatefucking. Now they’re not fighting anymore. - Jenner: Hire an exorcist to banish the spirits, feng shui your house for good energy, hire a cat therapist if that doesn’t work. …or just get a 4th cat so they pair off. - Shmoo: Put those cats in a hyperbolic time chamber and they will work out their problems in a matter of moments. (It’ll seem like centuries to them.)[/poll] ---
**Author:** ![Jenner](https://www.lp.zone/user_avatar/www.lp.zone/jenner/32/85067_2.png) [@Jenner](https://www.lp.zone/u/Jenner)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2017, 5:04pm UTC](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589/95 "2017-03-31T17:04:37Z")
@Grasslamb wins!! Sorry for being late. I had therapy. Tell us your issue Grasslamb! ---
**Author:** ![Grasslamb](https://www.lp.zone/user_avatar/www.lp.zone/grasslamb/32/1028_2.png) [@Grasslamb](https://www.lp.zone/u/Grasslamb)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2017, 6:40pm UTC](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589/96 "2017-03-31T18:40:06Z")
I downloaded this attachment from an email I got offering me free Minecraft codes, but instead it gave me this terrible, terrible computer virus! I done everything I can do to fix this problem but nothing I have done has not worked at all. Please help me, I’m not very tech savvy! ---
**Author:** ![Mas](https://www.lp.zone/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Mas](https://www.lp.zone/u/Mas)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2017, 7:00pm UTC](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589/97 "2017-03-31T19:00:52Z")
An entrepreneurial spirit and good sales patter may be ideal here. Every heard of that one guy who started off with a pen and continuously traded away whatever he got in exchange until he ended with a really nice house? Well, you have made available to yourself the latest in third-party computer software - which of course you shouldn’t be giving away for free - and you’re ultimately only looking for something worth maybe one five-hundredth the value of what other guy got. No trouble. ---
**Author:** ![HostileV](https://www.lp.zone/user_avatar/www.lp.zone/hostilev/32/1241_2.png) [@HostileV](https://www.lp.zone/u/HostileV)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2017, 7:16pm UTC](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589/98 "2017-03-31T19:16:21Z")
This problem is easily rectified by uninstalling the free copy of Minecraft you got from that email. ---
**Author:** ![Fefnir](https://www.lp.zone/user_avatar/www.lp.zone/fefnir/32/95485_2.png) [@Fefnir](https://www.lp.zone/u/Fefnir)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2017, 9:03pm UTC](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589/99 "2017-03-31T21:03:33Z")
Your problem was created by computers, so it stands to reason that other computer programs could not possibly solve it. Therefore, you must enter the internet yourself to solve the issue. Once you have entered the “cyberspace,” as the kids call it, you’re gonna have a few options. You could either shoot about 50 viruses with real-ass looking guns, or you could destroy the core of the internet, thus removing the internet and probably the virus as well. Honestly either method is probably viable, but the latter one might be considered bad karma and send you to a haunted castle??? ---
**Author:** ![That\_Good\_Good\_Chris](https://www.lp.zone/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/t/a9a28c/32.png) [@That\_Good\_Good\_Chris](https://www.lp.zone/u/That_Good_Good_Chris)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2017, 9:09pm UTC](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589/100 "2017-03-31T21:09:37Z")
Have you’ve seen the movie Hackers? Good, neither have I. If your computer is sick though, and you can not HACK00RS it back to health, then I’m afraid you have to take it behind a Best Buy™ and put it out of it’s mercy. Then pin it on one of the employees, so that Best Buy™ feels bad and gives you a new Personal Computer. Or fires the employee. Who really needed that job. You soulless monster. Or calls the police on you. Not ideal. In short, ignore this, post, but vote for me regardless, because I could really use a W. [Previous page](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589.md?page=4) [Next page](https://www.lp.zone/t/new-forums-game-the-worst-advice/1589.md?page=6)