[FINISHED] LPFWA 2k18 - Killing the Business Since 2013

IGgy · January 13, 2018, 9:44pm

We’re going live again! Join us!.

#1 Masked Man © vs. D the Destroyer for Buscus Title
#2 Tommy Wiseau vs. Lore Convoluter
#3 Toad vs. Palpatine © for Bunny Title :3
#4 Jumpy Chan vs. Rara
#5Link and Fruitsniffer vs. Woolsey Smythe and A Tree
#6 Tolvie vs. Valerie Easton © for Kawaii Title
#0 Kylo Ren vs. Ric Flair

IGgy · January 14, 2018, 11:49pm

Episode 9 - Link Partners Fruity, Wrestles Ages - (Twitch VOD)
Episode title by yerpalhal

#1 Buscus Brawl (oh no! but they are teammates!!!)
Masked Man © vs. D the Destroyer

Masked man get’s Destroyed

#2 Singles
Tommy Wiseau vs. Lore Convoluter

Tommy defeats Lore by pinfall

#3 Bunny Championship :3
Toad vs. Palpatine ©

Palpy is DQ’d due to interference by Face.

#4 Singles Match
Jumpy Chan vs. Rara

Jumpy does the End of Heartache thing and Rara stays down

#5 Tag Team
Link and Fruitsniffer vs. Woolsey Smythe and A Tree

Ghost and tree do the thing where they win

#6 Kawaii Title Match
Tolvie vs. Valerie Easton ©

Tolvie beat Val before… but this time it’s Val who’s victorious

IGgy · January 18, 2018, 12:13am

And here’s a match card for next Saturday featuring some matches!

It’s been a while since we’ve seen Dr. Ham and El Catire Arrecho. I was not underutilizing them on purpose, though.
I didn’t get to make any new CAWs this week (yet). Late shift means I don’t have too much time, hopefully I’ll find some, though.

#1 Buscus Brawl
© The Masked Man vs. Dr. Ham

#2 Singles Match
Tommy Wiseau vs. El Catire Arrecho

#3 4-Way
Lore Convoluter vs. The Majestic Goat-Man vs. Lotus vs. Dash Rendar

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Woolsey Smythe vs. Palpatine ©

#5 Singles Match
Lady of the Lancet vs. Divine Coffee Binge

#6 LP Superstar Title
Kylo Ren vs. A tree ©

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Kylo Ren vs. Ric Flair

Vanderlyle · January 19, 2018, 1:49am

I really hope el catire doesn’t come back just to lose to Tommy wiseau of all things. Emphasis on the thing

IGgy · January 20, 2018, 9:43pm

Episode 10 - Lucha Perros Find Winning Awesome - (Twitch VOD)
Episode Title by DivineCoffeeBinge

#1 Buscus Brawl
© The Masked Man vs. Dr. Ham

They throw each other around for a while but Masked Man throws Ham around harder so he wins

#2 Singles Match
Tommy Wiseau vs. El Catire Arrecho

Catire Arrecho takes the win with a Hurancanrana roll-up. Tommy was so pissed.

#3 4-Way
Lore Convoluter vs. The Majestic Goat-Man vs. Lotus vs. Dash Rendar

Dash does the thing where he wins. I am offended.

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Woolsey Smythe vs. Palpatine ©

At this point it’s not a surprise anymore but Palpy wins again.

#5 Singles Match
Lady of the Lancet vs. Divine Coffee Binge

DCB! DCB! DCB! The crowd chants for the entirety of the match only for her to lose.

#6 LP Superstar Title
Kylo Ren vs. A tree ©

The Dark Side is not powerful enough to stand against a tree

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Kylo Ren vs. Ric Flair

If you wanna be the man you gotta beat the man. Ric Flair was the man, Kylo beat him. He’s now the man.

Vanderlyle · January 22, 2018, 2:53am

El catire arrecho doing God’s work by beating the shit out of Tommy, I couldn’t have asked more for his debut.
Also, are you actually slowly making him more buff? I can’t say I’ve noticed that

IGgy · January 22, 2018, 11:58am

I’m doing it very slowly with each match he has

IGgy · January 24, 2018, 7:46pm

All right! Here’s the match card and the time for saturday. You can also vote for who’s gonna be in the bonus match. It’s also the last show before our next Special Show (which I think is a better name than PPV, because that implies that a purchase is necessary somehow, then again, maybe I shouldn’t use a term that can be abbreviated with SS…). It’ll be Monday Night Raw!!! On a Saturday.

I’d also like to know from you what your favorite matches were so far. In the future I’ll probably run a poll for Match of the Night but for past matches you can just throw me some you still remember and enjoyed.

#1 Buscus Brawl
Dr. Ham © vs. Thundercat Chris Pine

#2 Singles Match
D the Destroyer vs. Bone Pimp

#3 Singles Match
Nadira vs. DivineCoffeeBinge

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Majestic Goat-Man vs. Palpatine ©

#5 Singles Match
Link vs. anilEhilated

#6 Co-Comm Title Match
Woolsey Smythe and a tree vs. Fred Hope and Flamander ©

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Vote for who’s gonna be in it here.

Vanderlyle · January 24, 2018, 11:50pm

As much as I’d like to say that my favorite match was El Catire Arrecho’s first debut match, I think it has to be the match where Link broke the ring with Lore Convoluter, because I didn’t know anything like that could happen, and I was genuinely surprised.

yerpalhal · January 25, 2018, 11:50pm

absolutely agree about that link match. dash vs iggy from end of the worlds also a personal fave of mine as is oad vs a tree from the same episode

IGgy · January 27, 2018, 9:44pm

Episode 11 - Lousy Path Finding Wastes Aplenty - (Twitch VOD)
Episode Title by Zephyr

Other submitted titles are:
Loser’s Posterier Fucking Wrecked Absolutely -crow
Lumber Puncher Flamander Watches Anxiously - Flamander

Loyal Partner Freddie Wins Altruastically -crow
Loss Precipitated From Wrestling Altruism -crow
Long Pause 'Fore Win, A’ight? -crow

IGgy IGsen" post="480623530:

All right! Here’s the match card and the time for saturday. You can also vote for who’s gonna be in the bonus match. It’s also the last show before our next Special Show (which I think is a better name than PPV, because that implies that a purchase is necessary somehow, then again, maybe I shouldn’t use a term that can be abbreviated with SS…). It’ll be Monday Night Raw!!! On a Saturday.

I’d also like to know from you what your favorite matches were so far. In the future I’ll probably run a poll for Match of the Night but for past matches you can just throw me some you still remember and enjoyed.

#1 Buscus Brawl
Dr. Ham © vs. Thundercat Chris Pine

#2 Singles Match
D the Destroyer vs. Bone Pimp

#3 Singles Match
Nadira vs. DivineCoffeeBinge

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Majestic Goat-Man vs. Palpatine ©

#5 Singles Match
Link vs. anilEhilated

#6 Co-Comm Title Match
Woolsey Smythe and a tree vs. Fred Hope and Flamander ©

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Vote for who’s gonna be in it here.

Rather Watch Them" post="480640937:

DCB, I know you’ve been struggling for a while, and I think I have the solution.

Val reveals a small vial of sticky black powder.

I’m going to level with you: I don’t know what this is going to do. It’s a combination of a few medicinal plants and extracts of some moon stuff. That and your coffee should be… well, it should produce a result. I’m going to leave this with you, and it’s up to you if you want to take it.

Take it, take it, take it! Put it in your venti toasted caramel frappuccino with non-dairy whip and toffee sprinkles! Grow stronger, go faster, be better!

I believe in you, DCB. I believe that you don’t need this, but it’s yours.

You need it! You crave it! Look at me, I’m the champion! The champion knows, she does! I am the taste of victory!

Good luck out there.

Val looks at the reflection on her phone, at the dark figure staring back at her.

I thought I got rid of you.

You can’t get rid of me! I’m like your Black Parade fanart: I will live forever!

IGgy IGsen" post="480723357:

Wow, what a show. You can put in your vote for Match of the Night here http://www.strawpoll.me/14943743

Results

#1 Buscus Brawl
Dr. Ham © vs. Thundercat Chris Pine

Dr. Ham treats Chris Pine to some back pains with the Miracle Spine-O-Cracker

Scene: Nuffkins considers opponents for his title defense at Monday Night Raw and settles on BNF, who’s taken on a behind the scenes role by now, to earn the rights to wear a kilt just like his,

#2 Singles Match
D the Destroyer vs. Bone Pimp

Bone Pimp showed off all his moves, but D got the better of him

#3 Singles Match
Nadira vs. DivineCoffeeBinge

Not like this… (double count-out)

Scene: Kylo is REALLY sorry that he failed to avenge the death of Palpy, who never died. He just exploded and got better.

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Majestic Goat-Man vs. Palpatine ©

MGM outta nowhere! But Palpy reverses it, oh no! And then he elbow drops onto MGM’s butt and goes for the 1-2-3…

Scene: Fruity and Link discuss Hugs before Link reveals that he’s gonna beat up anil to earn a match against Palpy

#5 Singles Match (Match of the Night)
Link vs. anilEhilated

Link got is ass kicked so hard! But holy crap, what a comeback. anil goes down after the second Sunset Flip Power Bomb

#6 Co-Comm Title Match
Woolsey Smythe and a tree vs. Fred Hope and Flamander ©

The WO takes the win! See guys? It doesn’t always take the WORM. Anyway, this means Freddie and Flamander retain

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Palpatine vs. Kurt Angle

Kurt took, like, three Palpy Moves, one Galactic Elbow, one Imperial Power Bomb and some other shit while Palpy took two Triple-Germans, one Ankle Lock and two Angle Slams before he finally stayed down for the 3-count.
Angle will return next week to beat another of our guys with a broken freaking neck. Oh it’s true. It’s damn true.

IGgy · January 31, 2018, 7:33pm

All right, here’s the match card for this saturday. Here’s the exact time and date.
You can vote on Kurt Angles opponent here.
You can make predictions on match outcomes here

#1 Four-Way
Dash Rendar vs. Lore Convoluter vs. El Catire Arrecho vs. Bone Pimp

#2 Singles Match
Samus vs. Jumpy-Chan

#3 Tag Team
The Sons of the Mask vs. Freddie Hope and Flamander

#4 LP Superstar Championship
Face vs. a tree ©

#5 Falls Count Anywhere
Nadira vs. DivineCoffeeBinge

#6 Bunny Championship
Link vs. Palpatine ©

#7 Kawaii Championship
Lady of the Lancet vs. Valerie Easton ©

#8 LPFWA Championship
BNF vs. nuffkinsVEVO ©

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Whoever you decide vs. Kurt Angle

Vanderlyle · February 2, 2018, 5:18am

VMqnXZY “Muy bien, after beating that weird monster last week, I feel like I’m ready for the big show, it’s time to show everybody what El Catire Arrecho is made of.”

IGgy · February 3, 2018, 9:47pm

Episode 12 - MONDAY NIGHT RAW - (Twitch VOD)
Legit Player Flamander Wormed Again - Tevery Best

Live!, Play Fighting, Worming Action - yerpalhal
Look Pop! (A) Formidable Worming Astronaut! - Zephyr
Low-Paid Fighter Wormed Astoundingly - tevery best
Lost Pugilist Finds Worming Again - Zephyr
Light Purple Ftracksuitlines Worm Afforded - Tevery Best
League Presents: Flamander’s Worm Adidas - Tevery Best
Large Person Fights Worm Attack - Deathmaster780
Logic Pertaining (to) Formation (of) Worming Announced - Zephyr

As far as predictions go let me actually give you some stats. First of all, let’s look at what everyone voted.

It’s a bit split here but we have one clear favorite! The debuting El Catire Arrecho!

Wow, no one believed in Jumpy. Let’s go against the odds! Rapadooooooo!

Honestly, people believing That Hope and Flamander are gonna take it is absolutely reasonable, given that Masked Man was a former Buscus Champion and he shit talked D the Destroyer before. So their chemistry probably sucks.

With how dominant a tree has been as the LP Superstar Champion it’s a bit surprising to see such an even split between the two. But it’s true Face did not do poorly as a time with Kylo or on his own so far.

I’m not sure how much of this 50/50 split being actual predictions and how much is just people wanting DCB to win. I too want to see her succeed, she deserves it! She never did bad, just always fell just short. But we all believe in you DCB! You can do it!

Link made sure he earned that shot before he actually got it so it’s no surprise to see that he is the favorite in this match-up. He had a 5-star classic just last week after all.

Much like Hell-Ena before her Valerie proved to be a dominant champion so far. Lady of the Lancet, however, only recently started showing her true potential. People don’t seem to be sure yet her recent success wasn’t just a fluke.

No one knows BNF and Nuffkins hasn’t lost any matches so far. So I’m not too sure why I should be surprised of these predictions.

Considering that this “whoever” was me it should be clear that people are voting for Kurt Angle

And now! Let’s tally up the predictions people actually got right.

Fruitsniffer: 6
Vanderlyle: 5
Crow: 4
yerpalhal: 4
Rather Watch Them: 3
Anonymous: 3
Hitlers Gay Secret: 1

Pyroi" post="480868408:

Ahh…that was a great nap. Ah! How long have you been there!?

About twenty minutes, your majesty. Just wanted to update you on that monster you wanted. Unfortunately, you still have too much of an outstanding debt with NME for us to sell you another monster.

What?! I’m royalty dang it, now you send over one of your big guys, like Octacon, or that Ice Dragon!

Unfortunately, as I said, there is no way that we can send you another monster until your debt is paid. However, we do have an alternative payment option…

Well? What is it!?

Simply obtain any of the title belts, while providing advertisement for NME. It’s a win-win, you receive a title, and NME gets some free advertising. What do you say?

I suppose I have no choice…

Looks like the Masked Man…is selling out.

Rather Watch Them" post="480923177:

Valerie is, honest to god, actually training.

What’s the matter, Val-uh-rie? You look like Death!

I haven’t been in the ring for a couple weeks. I’m getting rusty, and Lady is a fighter that makes me nervous.

No, I mean your get-up! Why are you cosplaying as a Sandman character?

This is who I am.

Aww, I thought I was!

That was a long time ago.

Val moves to an elliptical machine and pedals like hell.

Not long to me! You think I’m ancient history, but I’m a stronger force than you… You remember the first time you heard Evanescence? How your mind expanded! You knew from that moment that this was real! That I, that we are not a phase! Wouldn’t you agree, Valxis Ravenblood?!

Val lurches over the handlebars and catches her breath.

Don’t ever say that name again. God, that sounds ridiculous.

You take yourself too seriously… Remember where you are! Remember who you are!

I’m a damned professional! I’m not going to lean on being “crazy girl” to get ahead.

Well I hope the commentators can tell you and the Lady apart! Two women with dark hair, a black’n’blue color scheme, and a cold lifeless demeanor, together in the ring! Brilliant!

#1 Four-Way
Dash Rendar vs. Lore Convoluter vs. El Catire Arrecho vs. Bone Pimp

Our newcomer El Catire Arrecho takes the win by pinning Bone Pimp!

Scene - Hugrule Warriors: Impressed with Catire Arrecho’s performance Link and Fruity ask him to join them in their new team: The Hugrule Warriors. He gladly accepts

#2 Singles Match
Samus vs. Jumpy-Chan

Jumpy hits the End of Heartache on Samus for the one two three!!!

Scene - D Mask Reconciliation: Masked Man and D argue a bit because Masked Man said some things about D during an interview but in the end Masked Man lulls D into helping him once more. Heh, sucker

#3 Tag Team
The Sons of the Mask vs. Freddie Hope and Flamander

They do some things but in the end Flamander DOES THE FUCKING WORM HOLY SHIT! and a bit later Flamander also pins D, noting to see here

Scene - Palpy is not dead!: Face explains to Kylo that Palpy is not dead no! He really isn’t!

#4 LP Superstar Championship
Face vs. a tree ©

A tree fell in the middle of nowhere with no one to hear except the entire crowd and face. Does it make a sound? Yes, one two three. A tree retains yet again

#5 Falls Count Anywhere
Nadira vs. DivineCoffeeBinge

Unfortunately DCB did not win…

Scene - Strategy Meeting: The Hugrule Warriors hold their strategy session and arrive at the conclusion that in order to defeat Palpy they need to beat him at his own game. In the end they realize that that would make them just as bad as him so they opt to just come out as a unit and not do anything

#6 Bunny Championship
Link vs. Palpatine ©

The Hugrule Warriors come out as a unit and don’t do anything so the oRa66 just do their thing. It’s DQ, Palpy loses by DQ

Scene - Debriefing: Their swift defeat does not break the spirits of the Hugrule Warriors and they brainstorm ways to easily refer to El Catire Arrecho somehow and then leave to figure out how to find the Triforce of Wisdom

#7 Kawaii Championship
Lady of the Lancet vs. Valerie Easton ©

In an only somewhat surprising upset, Lady of the Lancet takes the win and the titles

Scene - Golden Lovers?: Val tumbles backstage, upset over her defeat. Hell-Ena shows up but Val dismisses her, stating that she made it clear that she cannot tame her, wondering what she wants from her. Ref Joe shows up out of nowhere telling her Hell-Ena probably has the hots for her. But Val tells Joe off for stalking her despite her no longer holding the Pokeymanz title

#8 LPFWA Championship
BNF vs. nuffkinsVEVO ©

BNF must have gotten rusty because Nuffkins actually won and in his mind now has the right to wear a yellow kilt

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
IGgy vs. Kurt Angle

I gave it a good shot but in the end I cannot win against Kurt Angle one won an olympic gold medal with a broken freaking neck. Oh it’s true, it’s damn true

Vanderlyle · February 5, 2018, 1:44am

Wow, my boy is really going places now, I’m so proud.

VMqnXZY “Muy bien, a eso es lo que me refiero! I win the four-way match and get invited into a team? who could ask for a better debut match, certainly not El Catire Arrecho, who is me.”

IGgy · February 8, 2018, 9:43pm

I forgot to post this yesterday, oops.

Next show will be on Saturday
You can vote for who goes against Kurt Angle here. So far Palpatine and IGgy failed to beat him.

#2 Singles Match
El Catire Arrecho vs. Bone Pimp

#3 Singles Match
Konami Kouda vs. DivineCoffeeBinge

#5 Elimination
Samus vs. Jumpy-Chan vs. Valerie Easton

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Whoever you vote for vs. Kurt Angle

Vanderlyle · February 10, 2018, 1:43am

VMqnXZY “Well, señor Bone Pimp, look’s like we’re fighting again, but this time, sera mano a mano, and I’ll…uh…beat you, for sure, asi sera”

IGgy · February 10, 2018, 9:44pm

Show starts in 15 minutes. https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen
1st Match: Thundercat Chris Pine © vs. Majestic Goat-Man for the Buscus
2nd Match: El Catire Arrecho vs. Bone Pimp
3rd Match: konami kouda vs. DivineCoffeeBinge
4th Match: Star Pilot Flamander vs. Palpatine © for the Bunny Title :3
5th Match: Samus vs. Jumpy-Chan vs. Valerie Easton
Main Event: Fruitsniffer vs. a tree © for the LP Superstar Title
Bonus Match: Toad vs. Kurt Angle

IGgy · February 11, 2018, 8:42pm

Episode #13 - Ladies’ Plan Foiled; Witch Again! - (Twitch VOD)

Results:

#1 Buscus Brawl
Thundercat Chris Pine © vs. Majestic Goat-Man

Great match, lots of back and forth, but in the end the man-cat defeats the goat-man

#2 Singles Match
El Catire Arrecho vs. Bone Pimp

Catire Arrecho could not take the win in his debut, unfortunately. Instead Bone Pimp picks up his first win

Scene: The Hugrule Warriors lament Catire Arrecho’s debut loss but hype up Fruity for his title match later this night

#3 Singles Match
Konami Kouda vs. DivineCoffeeBinge

DCB beats up Konami so hard she can’t make it back to the ring in time for the ref’s count to hit ten. DCB WINS!

Scene: Jeff Lyfe is with DCB for a post-match interview. DCB states that she feels empty after this win, making some kind of coffee metaphor. The only way to truly win is to pin or submit, and that is DCB’s new quest. Baby steps.

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Star Pilot Flamander vs. Palpatine ©

Somehow no one expected it but Palpy did indeed finally lose. After 6 successful defenses his reign of terror finally ends (probably). Flamander is the new Bunny Champion :3

Scene: Jumpy demands a title shot next week. IGgy demands she earn the shot first, revealing that the upcoming match is a match to establish the order of contendership for the Kawaii Title

#5 Elimination
Samus vs. Jumpy-Chan vs. Valerie Easton

First Samus is eliminated after being hit with a DEVASTATING seven rotations of the Giant Swing from Junpei (though, Val snatched the pin). Finally Val takes the win, earning a title rematch, but only after three Kisses of Death against Jumpy

#6 LP Superstar Title
Fruitsniffer vs. a tree ©

Fruity attempted to become a tree-hugger but failed. The tree fought back and fell onto Fruity for the 1-2-3

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Toad vs. Kurt Angle

[spoiler]Toad and Kurt Angle fight to determine who’s the most american. You’d think the guy who won an olympic gold medal for the US with a broken neck would win by default, but no. Toad, a mascot character from a japanese video game series is the one to take the win after two F-U-2s

nine-gear crow" post="481186681:

Eh, can’t say I’m sad to be rid of that godawful belt… especially after it tried to kill me once itself.
Lord Sidious, my master, your loss will be avenged, I swear it!
Just do me a favour and don’t actually win that pastel foamy piece of shit. It’s been so long since I’ve been allowed to come out to my own entrance that I don’t know if I remember how it even goes anymore.
You sure that just ain’t the Alzheimer’s kickin’ in there, boss?
You know, I’d fire you, but I don’t want to go looking for someone else to distract the refs for me. Oh! Galen! You’re back already. How was your trip to the garbage smasher? Sorry if it might have turned on on you… intentionally.
I found your trombone, sir.
…The fuck do I own a trombone for?

IGgy · February 15, 2018, 6:20pm

He yo!

The next episode will happen on Saturday
Since Ric Flair has been defeated by Toad we need to find a new opponent as well as someone to challenge them. You can vote on that here

I’ve added a bot to my twitch for the next stream which will allow for actually placing bets as the show goes on and starting chants that will be audible on stream. I will probably tweak the latter if it gets too much.

You can find the match card below. We’re alreaedy building to our next PPV, Sacrific-E

#2 Singles
Lotus Aura vs. Bone Pimp

#3 Singles
Tolvie vs. DCB

#4 Bunny Championship
Kylo Ren vs. Star Pilot Flamander

#5 Trio Tornado Tag
Angus McMutton, Tommy Wiseau and Schir vs. Hugrule Warriors

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Vote who’s goin against who!