Summary
: Now that we’ve gotten Frank’s new weapon, let’s look around the Grand Canyon.
: Inventive Ost has never heard of zoning boards, and that’s a good thing.
: The tent behind Inventive Ost has a Silver Bracelet in it, a returning accessory from Covenant. Covenant had an accessory to prevent each status effect, and the Silver Bracelet prevents “Mental Break”.
: Mental Break is a status effect that causes you to lose MP every turn.
: Unselfish Aura sounds like a special attack a Final Fantasy boss would have, only it’s from one of the SNES games and was never properly coded so no one knows what it actually does.
: Right outside the tent is a chest with a Phoenix Tail. The item description reminds me of that weapon story from NieR (another game The Dark Id LPed) with the phoenix that gives away all its feathers to save a starving child, who then stabs it to death and eats it.
: I also remembered that there’s another Ring item up at the start of the area, which we definitely want because this is one of the better ones. Lowering defense is never bad.
: Except The Spirits Within. We don’t talk about that one.
: There are only two more tents to visit - the Chief’s tent and one other. The Chief’s tent is progress and also has a Poison ring item in it, which I slap on Natan.
: “We’ve only come back because we have something to ask you. So, Zonda. I want you to tell me the location of the altar where the spirits of the earth and ocean slumber.”
: “Hey, who’s that?”
: “He is the head of this village. He is also Shania’s betrothed.”
: If I was stealing The Dark Id’s thing, I would put a line here where Natan goes “You do not stand a chance.”
: “I heard their parents, each heads of their respective tribes, decided it. But that’s a thing of the past now.”
: “I absolutely cannot lose, that’s why.”
: This does, admittedly, sound like every married couple I’ve ever known. “Why do you need to renovate the bathrooms? We just renovated the bathrooms last year!”
: “I can’t. I haven’t finished getting revenge.”
: “I need to renovate the bathrooms because they must suffer. That is why I must renovate.”
: They fled because they realized Johnny Depp’s career was about to go to a very weird place and none of them wanted a part of it.
: “What about the Earth Spirit… Tatan’ka?”
: And now we unlock a very simplified version of Yuri’s main mechanic from Shadow Hearts 1 and Covenant.
: “Thank you, Zonda…”
: “Understood. You need not worry.”
: “Lord Nvwoti? I understand.”
: The Eagle Statue is the first of Shania’s upgrade items. Killing enemies gets you Soul Energy, which you can then pump into the statue to upgrade the fusion associated with it.
: Bar Rod is effectively a wind-element version of Frank’s Ninja Star that hits two or three more times. It’s also where I’d go if I drank, but I don’t drink.
: Evil Eye is a Dark spell that can theoretically hit multiple targets, but that’s more or less totally random.
: This cutscene angers me, and you’ll see why.
: “Who’s this guy?”
: “Nvwoti. The Healer of this village.”
: “What did you need from me? If you could be brief.”
: “This? This is what you have been working on all this time?”
: “Hm… this is a good jar. How does it work?”
: That is, admittedly, some 10/10 dialog right there. Fucking nailed it.
: “I’m afraid we are in the middle of an urgent journey. Please ask someone else.”
: “I am sorry, but what else can I do?”
: “…Natan, it’s OK if you take it on.”
: “Princess. But…”
: “You have got to increase your strength from here on out anyway. We just can’t get too sidetracked.”
: “…I understand. Lord Nvwoti, so how does this work?”
: We get like eight different items here ranging from honey to fly paper.
: “I see. However, if I am unfamiliar with the UMA’s disposition and habitat, I have no way to trap them.”
: “True to your title, Lord Nvwoti. But what about the valley’s guards, who let the UMA invade so easily?”
: Now, this is what pisses me off. You have a setting in which it makes sense that Bigfoot exists, but Bigfoot isn’t a party member. Why the fuck isn’t Bigfoot a party member?
: “I understand. I believe I have enough information now.”
: We’ll see how UMA hunting works in a little bit. Before we go out to the next dungeon, Gerard has some new stuff on sale.
: He has a new weapon for Johnny and Shania, which is good because that’s about all we can afford. Gerard also carries the Schofield II for Natan if you didn’t get it off the boss, and the Cactus Saber if you somehow missed the cactus.
: And now we can continue on a single screen before I backtrack to New York.
: The screen immediately beyond the guard has a Ring Fragment hidden in a bush. We’re going to want to cash this in because we have a solo boss fight coming up.
: “Um, hey, I’ve been meaning to ask… just what are these fragments? Why would you collect something like this?”
: “Something like this? How rude! These are the fragments of the Judgment Ring of a person who died unfulfilled. So basically, these are the broken pieces of that person’s Judgment Ring. They’re very precious!”
: “I…I see.”
: “All Ring Spirits have to come to the human world and search for them as part of their training.”
: “I understand that, but… if this is your training, shouldn’t you be the one gathering them?”
: “Yeah, but well, ah… ummm. Ah! Oh no, look at the time! Well, if you find any more, make sure to bring them to me! I’m counting on you! bye-bye!”
: Okay, we’re ready to keep progressing… directly to another cutscene.
: “Huh? Whose voice is that…? Could it be? This wooden pillar just talked?!”
: Frank isn’t in this cutscene, but he should’ve been just to go “Johnny, you saw a guy summon a knockoff William Birkin from another dimension, and this is what you find strange?”
: “To forge a pact with the Earth Spirit.”
: “And what are the qualifications?”
: “What should we do, Shania?”
: “There’s no question about it. No matter what the trial, we’ve come prepared to handle it.”
: The ‘trial’, in this case, involves running one screen to the left. However, now that we’ve talked to the pillar…
: Random encounters are on, and even worse, we get surrounded on the first one.
: Our two new enemies are Maii and Tonakh.
: Maii is kind of annoying in that it builds up stock fast, but it likes to cast Mirage for a 30% dodge bonus that… actually, it never really did anything in Covenant, and it doesn’t do anything here, either.
: Johnny’s “Evasion Down” skill also procs pretty frequently, especially compared to Poison or Sp. Def Down.
: Tonakh only has 34 HP, but can inflict Small Ring, which… honestly doesn’t do much apart from halve the size of the Judgment Ring. Everyone but Johnny can kill these in one turn.
: If you want to get all the Snaps, you need four Tonakhs and two Maii, but I’m going to wait on that.
: Just to the left is the mural the pillar was talking about. Even though it’s pretty clear, we have to go up and “search” it for it to count.
: I get the hare and deer, but… why the frog?
: There are three different questions Dohkwibuhch can ask, and it’s randomized on a per-game basis. The mural is always the same. For reference, the other two questions are “Assume the hunter catches his prey and procures two horns. How many animals remain?” and “Above the head of whom does the sun on the mural shine?”.
: The third enemy type here is “Argen Tabisu”, which is a pretty clear mistranslation of “Argentavis”, an extinct species of giant bird native to Argentina. What they’re doing in the Grand Canyon is a mystery.
: Argentavis hits 3 times for a good chunk of damage, and has pretty good odds of inflicting Mental Breakdown. This can get really ugly if an enemy manages to combo you - which can happen easily, as there’s a chance that a Maii spawns with a stock.
: There is one thing that prevents these encounters from going into bullshit territory, which is that the enemies here cannot Double Attack, only Combo. This means that if you have one enemy alive with Stock, they’re never going to use it.
: “Then why are you and that guy so unhappy about it?”
: “In order to make the pact, Shania must do battle with the Spirit, alone, and win. However, even if she makes the pact successfully, she still has to allow another life into her body. Something normal humans can’t withstand.”
: “Can’t withstand? Will Shania be alright?”
: “She’ll be fine. If worst comes to worst, I will defend her with my life.”
: Worst comes to worst, Frank will make contact with Bigfoot. I want to see Frank make contact with Bigfoot.
: That’s not really a question, but okay.
: Our job now is to go through a couple of screens and look at all the murals. Honestly, this reminded me a lot of Dwarf Fortress, where it is not uncommon for a dwarf to go into a hallway and spend several weeks carving elaborate pictures of themselves eating cheese while screaming into the walls.
: Near the last mural is a Pocket Watch, which negates Ring effects.
: There’s also a pretty well-hidden chest near one of the earliest sets of murals that has a Shield stellar in it. Shield reduces Physical damage, while Barrier (which we also have) reduces Special damage.
: It’s kind of a crime that the game will not accept “A lot”.
: We take about another three steps before we wind up in front of a third talking magical wooden statue.
: This part has some important items, and is also where Bigfoot hangs out. I wonder if Bigfoot is friends with the statues.
: Red Nova is important because it’s a spell that also acts as a Hard Hit - this means, as far as I can tell, that you can Hard Hit twice on one turn by using a Double if you really need to nuke an enemy’s stock.
: This spot is a straight line across from where that chest is, and this is where we can find Bigfoot.
: “Should I set the trap here?”
: If you say yes, you’re given a list of items to use as bait.
: Now, we all know the correct answer should be “Nothing at all, because Frank has known Bigfoot for years and they are best friends”. Yes, I am getting Salty Vanilla on that.
: God dammit! Why is Bigfoot invisible!? This is some bullshit!
: Now, here’s the dickish part. Johnny goes first, but as I’ve mentioned before, he cannot Snap during a combo unless he is the last person in the combo. We do need a snap of Bigfoot, even though that makes no sense.
: Bigfoot hits pretty hard, and so we want to get him down quickly, but not so quickly that Johnny can’t get a Snap of him.
: Frank goes last, and we get a new option: Combo Magic. Combo Magic is only available to the final person in a combo or d-combo, and only works if you have full Stock.
: Frank can call in an orbital laser because of course he can.
: Unfortunately, Combo Magic can miss. That’s not great. It’s time for some, uh, Handy Tools.
: With around 40 HP left, Bigfoot nukes the hell out of Johnny using Red Nova.
: Johnny gets the Snap of the invisible Bigfoot… and then Bigfoot Doubles.
: In two attacks, Bigfoot has nearly killed Natan. Thankfully, Shania finishes him off next turn.
: Most of the UMA fights drop something - in this case, we get another Totem for Thunderbird.
: In this case, we get the ability to lower the SP cost of Thunderbird’s spells. 15 Soul Energy is cheap enough, so I go ahead and pump it up.
: Johnny leveled up after the fight, and now has 6 SP. The extra buffer is nice in case we run into a longer fight.
: Rapid Shot is a straight upgrade to Slug Shell that hits one more time. The only difference is that it only hits Low, while Slug Shell only hits Mid.
: Next time, we’ll get Shania a new fusion and have a run-in with the mafia. There will be Frank cutscenes.