Down, Down, Down By the River: Let's Play Baldur's Gate 3

[Timrod]

Summary

: The final entrance into the second half of Act 2 is in the goblin camp, down a hallway from Gut’s room.

: A-hem.

: What?

: Welcome back to Baldur’s Gate 3?

: Welcome back to Baldur’s Gate 3. Today, we’re going to kill a couple of bosses in the second half of Act 1 and finally finish the goblin camp quest.

: The center of the floor has a slider puzzle where the goal is to make it look like this. It’s not particularly hard and I got it on my first run not even knowing what to do.

: Just in case you can’t solve it, the developers put in a lever that can be lockpicked to skip the puzzle.

: This opens a door to the world’s longest ladder, which is the third and final entrance to the next area.

: We come out in a small fortress underground. This is the Underdark, and it’s one of two routes into Act 2.

: There are a good number of explosive barrels down here, which we’ll need because you can’t go very far without running into a boss fight.

: How did they get all of this down here? All they have is a ladder.

: The key feature is this giant statue of Selune.

: If someone comes up to the battlements, a scripted scene plays out.

: The minotaur charges the gate, and the statues outside start blasting it with lasers.

: That’s a sloppy defensive setup. They should’ve put the statues up top.

: If you’re fast enough (or you just enter turn-based mode), you can get the killing blow on the minotaur and get a free 75 EXP.

: There’s a book on the statue’s base that will progress the quest to find the Nightsong.

Fascinating that such a seemingly valuable object has proven so difficult to track down. Indeed, treasure-hunters the realm over have travelled to the Sword Coast with one goal in mind: to find the Nightsong. Yet each by each they have failed, indicating dead ends, rebuffs, or else disappearing altogether.

My latest enquiry was with a half-orc named Graly, who insisted he’d come as close as possible to the relic as one may go without forfeiting his or her life. He indicated that the object is not, as most reports indicate, in the Selunite fort adjacent to the river Chionthar. It is, in fact, held in an old Sharran fortress somewhere in the environs of Moonrise Towers. However, Graly reported that some kind of potent shadow prevents one from approaching where this fortress might be.

: Well, I guess we’re not finding the Nightsong anytime soon.

: The lower level has a fast travel point, which I use to bring in the rest of the party. I switch Lyselle for Shadowheart off-screen.

: There are two items here. The first is this helmet, which is useless unless you’re a paladin.

: The second is in a trapped chest behind a hidden wall. You can get up here by jumping from below.

: This armor is VERY good for Shadowheart. Let me explain why as we level her up.

: Spirit Guardians is a spell that turns the caster into a blender. This is how you’d kill Ethel’s clones on honor mode.

: The armor makes it so that anything hit by the guardians (or any other source of radiant damage) takes a -1 on their attack rolls for 2 turns.

: To leave, we can either take the side exit (the open window) or shoot the moonstone powering the laser statues.

: The side exit is filled with traps, including these orange mushrooms which explode if you come near them.

: There are also a whole bunch of drow down there who have been turned to stone. There is a bossfight just behind them, and we do not want to do that yet.

: Oh, riiight. The rest of you can’t see it.

: See what?

: The invisible monster behind them.

: The fuck? I can’t see it and I know it’s there.

: You mean you can’t see invisibility? Perks of being a space dragon.

: The party still has two short rests left, and we may as well use them. There are two ways to handle this fight depending on if you feel like cheesing it or not.

: I still call bullshit. The spell doesn’t even work that way!

: First, we’ll do the cheese route. The boss is invisible and patrols around the area, so there’s no easy way to hit it with barrels.

: I knew you couldn’t see invisibility! If you could, you’d be able to hit it no problem.

: The easiest way to find it is to shoot one of the statues from long range. That will make it pop out. The next cutscene plays even if you’re nowhere near the boss.

: Normally, the boss would get a surprise round, and it’s very likely someone is going down since it gets three attacks a round at minimum.

: The boss has a budget of three beams a turn. It can use these to hit you with status effects and to do tons of damage.

: For the first couple of turns, it will always use one of the beams to unpetrify and mind control the drow statues, which give it even more attacks.

: If you start the fight from a distance, you can set up the barrels from the fortress and blow the boss up.

: The main reason to do it this way is that there’s bonus dialog.

: If the spectator only unpetrifies one statue, and someone in the party is a female drow (or looks like one), you can talk to the drow afterward.

: “Dust. On. My. Tongue!”

: “I offer to parlay, and he brings a spectator? Twit. Quite ruined my ambush. Now - you are?”

: This is why the drow have their women in charge, because the men are constantly killing each other.

1. [DROW] Accustomed to a little more respect from a male.
2. You first.
3. I’m more concerned with this ‘twit’ who set a spectator on you.
4. I’m Shadowheart. You’re welcome for the rescue.

: How is it that everyone has a spectator but us?

: “Accustomed to a little more respect from a male.”

: “…my apologies, mistress. I am still coming back to my senses. I am Dhourn. Third son of House Ba’Tol, first rank evoker, and initiate of Gravenhollow’s…”

: “…oh. Oh no no no my dear dark GODS BELOW, NO!”

1. What’s that?
2. All right. I’ll let you get back to whatever this is.
3. Pretty. I’ll take it.

: “What’s that?”

: “A memory shard. They hold their glow for years - and it’s fading. It contains knowledge that is precious to me. If it has grown this dull… then my enemies have already found the forge. Which bastard stole my glory - Xargrim? Filro?”

: I probably shouldn’t be talking given the names I’ve seen on other furries, but why do drow names all sound like someone rolled their face on a keyboard?

1. Neither bastard rings a bell, I’m afraid.
2. What forge?
3. I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about.

: “Neither bastard rings a bell, I’m afraid.”

: “Impossible. The master of the Adamantine Forge would be known - and feared - throughout the Underdark. Unless.. hah. Hah! The fools must have turned back. Or better yet, died in the search. Good.”

: “If they had just surrendered their research to me, we might have found the forge together. But no - they hoarded their knowledge, left each of us clinging to scraps.”

: “I had the good sense to lock mine away in the memory shard. And now I can claim the forge alone.”

1. [DROW] You’ll claim nothing. Hand over the crystal - I’ll take it from here.
2. What knowledge does the crystal contain, exactly?
3. It sounds like you were each as bad as the other.
4. Perhaps we can claim the forge together, split the proceeds.
5. ‘Alone’? Don’t you still need your rivals’ research?

: “You’ll claim nothing. Hand over the crystal - I’ll take it from here.”

: “You bloody well - I mean to say, mistress - I have undertaken this research myself, beholden to no house or hold.”

1. [INTIMIDATION] I’m above house politics myself - but I’ll still kill for what I want.
2. [DECEPTION] House Ba’Tol, you said? You’ll be welcomed back - all the male heirs died, I believe.

: “House Ba’Tol, you said? You’ll be welcomed back - all the male heirs died, I believe.”

: The target number here is only a 5, so even Shadowheart can pull it off.

: “…then my brothers have perished in my absence? With no sons to replace them.. the memory shard answers to the pass-phrase ‘Dhourn, Lord Archmage’.”

: “I don’t believe I heard a ‘mistress’.”

: “Just an .. aspiration, mistress. But if my house now has room to honour me as I deserve, I have no need to chase relics any longer.”

: Doing the fight this way gets you experience as if you killed all the drow, and you get bonus experience if your character is a noble.

: The spectator drops a necklace that gives you the spell equivalents of some of the spectator’s beams.

: If you’re some kind of weirdo who’s against explosive barrels but doesn’t mind glitch abuse, you can use Shovel to attack the statues and destroy them without the spectator noticing.

: Just make sure you leave one to attack in order to spawn it.

: Dhourn has a couple of items you can only get by killing him, including this necklace which doubles damage from lightning charges.

: The problem is it only works on spells, and you can only build the charges in combat, otherwise it’d be amazing for killing bosses in one hit.

: This is part of a staff you can build if you find all the parts for it.

: If you really don’t feel like cheesing it, you can stack everyone in the tower and hit the spectator from range to get a surprise round on it.

: The lower entrance is blocked off with barrels in order to force the spectator to waste movement.

: From there, everyone stacks up on it and brings it down. The spectator is a lot like Auntie Ethel in that it doesn’t care about taking attacks of opportunity.

: The reason for the stack is to avoid giving the spectator its reaction attack, which it gets if anyone close to it moves. This only happens on tactician and above.

: As a bonus, Karlach knocks one of the drow off a ledge due to the crushing damage from throwing. This kills him in a single attack.

: The only thing to keep in mind is that if you choose to actually fight the spectator, you don’t get the EXP for the remaining statues unless you destroy them.

: Now that we have a reason to long rest, we can go back to the grove and progress the plot… or not.

: There is one more boss we can fight. We REALLY shouldn’t, and on Honor Mode it would be practically impossible barring the use of explosives.

: I should mention that we are on tactician difficulty, and the game has been on tactician since we fought Ethel.

: If we continue down from where the spectator was, there’s a couple fields of poison gas, and this poison gas vent blocked off by a backpack.

: How is that torch still lit? Wasn’t it years since the drow tried to kill each other?

: It must be the lighting gremlins.

: The torch will ignite the gas if we try to loot the bag. To get around that, you can put a wooden box or barrel on top of the bag first.

: Once you’ve plugged up the gas vents, keep all but one person up here and well away from the ledge. We need to blow spells on this one.

: Ideally we’d have four storm sorcerers, toss water on it, and then spam Lightning Bolt. Instead, Shadowheart uses Animate Dead and makes a skeleton.

: Going too far along the path spawns a rift, which is why we ideally want the rest of the party up top.

: On the next turn, the boss appears and damages anyone near where it spawns.

: On tactician mode, the boss is resistant to all forms of physical damage and immune to acid. This doesn’t include magic that does physical damage.

: The bulette needs to be kept from moving.

: If it’s not, it will burrow at around 60 HP. This makes it regenerate up to half its health and forces you to track it down again. If you’re not using lightning, it’s a good idea to hit it with Bone Chill to stop it healing if it burrows.

: If you keep everyone out of the initial burrow attack, you can dogpile it and bash its skull in before it has time to escape.

: The loot on it is trash, so if it does get away it might not even be worth chasing after.

: If the Bulette does run away, it’ll run into this area full of explosive mushrooms. This is where we would come out if we had gone through the fairy ring in Ethel’s back room.

: The reason we kill the Bulette here is because if we don’t, it acts kind of like Nemesis in Resident Evil 3 - it’ll show up at the transition points between sub-zones and won’t stop until it’s killed.

: Now that we have a reason to long rest, let’s go back to the druid grove.

: Oh, right. Down the path from the Bulette is a dead end that has a weaker version of Minthara’s armor and another basilisk oil.

: You might ask what happens if you use the basilisk oil on the petrified drow, say if you manage to explode the spectator before it can do anything. The answer is they attack you.

: NOW it’s back to the grove.

: “A scout just reported - the goblins’ leadership has been decimated. We might escape this place yet. And I hear you are the one to thank. I’m grateful.”

: “Halsin will likely want to thank you, too, mind. He returned just a while ago. I believe he’s catching up with Kagha. As for us..”

: “No armies at our heels.. amazing. We can finally leave. But perhaps we need not speak of farewells. We’ll join your camp tonight to celebrate, if you’ll have us.”

: The druid merchant has restocked on scrolls because we hit 5th level, so I steal all of them. Black Tentacles is one of the best wizard spells in 3.5E.

: In the main area of the grove, we can find Halsin and Kagha.

: “You took it upon yourself to undertake the Rite of Thorns? I ought to exile you from this place. Forever. Instead, I shall listen to the explanation that you owe me.”

: There are a few alternate versions of this scene, and in one of them he actually does exile Kagha. To get that, Kagha needs to have killed Arabella.

: That scene is actually really good, because Halsin’s VA drops his normal calm tone and really sounds like he’s straining not to kill her.

: “An error most grave, Master. I beg your grace.”

: “Grace is bestowed by nature, not me. You will stay, as a novice anew. You have forgotten the ways of the druids, the natural order of things. It is up to you to prove the lessons have been learned once more.”

: “So as you say, and so it is done, Master.”

: There is also a slight alternate scene if you found the letter in the swamp, but didn’t confront Kagha with it before rescuing Halsin.

: Halsin just says she’s been punished already and it’s a moot point.

1. That’s all? She tried to imprison a child.
2. Are you mad? Kagha’s a traitor.
3. You’ll have your hands full with her. She shows great spirit, to put it mildly.

: (I’d mention the whole Shadow Druid thing but she agreed to be quiet about why a non-druid was named Faithwarden.)

: “You’ll have your hands full with her. She shows great spirit, to put it mildly.”

: That is THE cuntiest expression on Pollux’s face.

: He technically outranks her now, even though he’s not a druid.

: “She shows great insolence. But time will humble her - and the grove still needs her. You will soon see why. But enough of that for now. I owe you my thanks.”

: “The grove stands. Nature prevails. And again, I am in your debt. Speak to Rath - he will reward you for your efforts.”

: “What happens next?”

: “The journey to Moonrise Towers, and all the dangers that entails. But that’s tomorrow’s problem. Take some time for yourself tonight - rest, celebrate. Come morning, I’ll be by your side.”

: (I just hope I put that statue back the right way. I don’t remember what direction it was facing.)

: “You’ve done it. You brought Halsin back. Thank you. No, thanks is not enough. May Silvanus bless you for all your days. I cannot imagine taking on a camp full of goblins was a simple task.”

1. For someone like me? It was pretty simple, actually.
2. Think nothing of it. I’m glad Halsin is safe.
3. It was a hell full of blood and ash.
4. I’m just here for the reward.

: “Think nothing of it. Most of it’s kind of a blur anyway. I’m just glad Halsin is safe.”

: “As am I. The grove will be whole again. And I promised you a reward, didn’t I? Take this rune - you’ll need it. Place it among the pedestals inside our library. When the wolf glows brightest, everything in the vault below will be yours.”

: It’s possible to pickpocket the rune off Rath, but there’s nothing down there that’s really worth the risk. All you do is insert the rune and turn them all on.

: The left side has some potions, another thing of wyvern toxin, and some scrolls.

: The altar has a glaive on it that gives you access to Thorn Whip, a druid cantrip. It’s useful if you manage to get it early because the version of Thorn Whip it gives you counts as a bonus action.

: This robe is one of the first you’re going to find for non-armored casters, but we can’t really use it.

: Before we go to camp, most of the tieflings are gone at this point. This means you can steal everything that’s not nailed down in the grove.

: Of particular note, this means you can steal from Dammon (since no one is watching him now) and a bunch of food and potions from where Ethel was.

: I also forgot one item in the grove. It’s this chest, which is behind a pillar near where Alfira was when we first met her.

: This would be okay for Pollux if we ever long rested or used bardic inspiration charges.

: (This is not okay.)

: Back at camp, Gale is doubled over in pain. He’s actually been like this for a while, which is why I used Lyselle for those fights.

: Several updates ago, I mentioned saving two magic items you don’t plan on using. This is why.

: “You see, I have this… condition. Very different from the parasite we share, but just as deadly. The specifics are rather personal, but suffice it to say that it is a malady I have learned to live with - though not without some effort.”

: “What it comes down to is this: every so often, I need to get my hands on a powerful magical item and absorb the Weave inside.”

: There’s a joke in World of Warcraft about not being able to snort disenchanting powder and now I think I know why they don’t let you.

: Gale is addicted to wizard coke and needs his fix. You only ever need to do this twice.

: Gale can eat almost any magic item. The best ones to give him are the ones that require the brand from the goblin camp to work.

: “That hit the spot. I can feel it work. The magic is like a lullaby that sings to sleep the demon inside. A metaphorical demon, I haste to point out. But no less dangerous - and no less bound to wake up again to continue its ravages. Such is the nature of all monsters.”

: There is a very different quest if you choose not to give Gale anything and then long rest after he tells you about his condition. I believe this also triggers if you go into Act 2 without giving him anything.

: In that case, he dies. The game makes you revive him at that point (it gives you the materials to do so) or you get a non-standard game over.

: We can talk to Astarion in camp and ask him about the guy in the swamp. The weird hood is from one of the dead drow by the spectator.

: “Cazador Szarr is a vampire lord in Baldur’s Gate. The patriarch of his coven and a monster obsessed with power. He turned me nearly two hundred years ago. I became his spawn, and he became my tormentor.”

: “You’re sure Cazador’s behind this?”

: “It was him, I’m sure. Only he would know to send the Gur after me. It was a group of Gur that attacked me that night in Baldur’s Gate. I would’ve died had Cazador not appeared and saved me.”

1. Saved you by turning you into a vampire slave?
2. You can’t hold every Gur responsible for what happened to you.
3. So why send one after you now? To remind you of that night?
4. He appeared just when you needed him? Sounds convenient.
5. Why would monster hunters serve Cazador? He’s a vampire!

: “Saved you by turning you into a vampire slave?”

: “Well, he didn’t mention the ‘slave’ clause at the time. And now he sends a Gur monster hunter for me? It’s a message.”

: “He’s reminding me of his power. Even in the middle of nowhere, he can reach me. and he wants me back.”

: Usually when you long rest, the game has you select food from your supplies. The night of the party is different - we get a free long rest.

: The developers released a stats thing recently that shows most people don’t know about this - if you’re a bard (or have perform from Alfira) you can play music at any time.

: If you do this in front of a crowd and succeed on a performance roll, they throw money at you.

: We can talk to just about everyone, and also have sex with everyone (except Halsin). Funny enough, there used to be a speedrun category for having sex that was virtually abandoned after Patch 4.

: Before Patch 4, the game only cared about your approval ratings with each party member, and it was possible to reach max approval with Lae’zel in under 8 minutes.

: “Go on now, don’t waste a night like this talking to me. We’ll discuss your problem tomorrow.”

1. I thought you might care to have a drink with me.
2. There’s other things we could do besides talking…
3. But I’d like to get to know you some more.
4. Take your own advice, why don’t you? Go on - mingle a little."

: “I thought you might care to have a drink with me.”

: “In truth, I rarely imbibe. The stuff goes right to my head. Before you know it, I’d be breaking into song or declaring love to the first person I laid eyes on.”

: (And that’s a bad thing.. why? I mean, provided I’m the first one he sees.)

1. I fail to see the problem.
2. Perhaps there’s something else you’d rather do then..
3. We’ll talk another time.

: “I fail to see the problem.”

: “Then you have never heard me singing. Which makes you very fortunate.”

: Halsin pretty much shuts us down right there. This is why I had Salty Vanilla step in. They’re not quite done yet.

: “You know, I never pictured myself as a hero. Never thought I’d be the one they toast for saving so many lives. And now that I’m here..”

: “I hate it. This is awful.”

1. Really? Saving lives is awful?
2. You did a good thing. Suck it up and enjoy yourself.
3. It’s not that bad. Think of all the goblins you killed.

: “It’s not that bad. Think of all those goblins you killed. And the gnolls. And the giant spider.”

: “True. That was fun. Still, I would’ve liked more for my trouble than a pat on the had and vinegar for wine.”

1. Whinge all you want - I’m having fun.
2. True, the goblins would have thrown a wilder party.
3. Take his bottle and try the wine.

Narrator: It’s a heavy, rich red - dry and sharp.

: “See what I mean? Awful.”

: This is from the inn. Do you have any idea how expensive this is?

: “All I want is a little fun. Is that so much to ask?”

1. And what’s your idea of ‘a little fun’?
2. That had better not mean ‘I want to kill something’.
3. We could have fun? We could spend some ‘quality time’ together.
4. Knowing you, it probably is.
5. Leave.

: He’s down bad, isn’t he?

: “And what’s your idea of ‘a little fun’? Attempting to drain every drop of blood from my body?”

: “By the hells. Sex, my dear. A night of passion.”

: “Not with you, to be clear. I mean, can you imagine? Urgh. No.”

: “Agh, Hells! I was hoping you wouldn’t notice I was gone.”

1. Are you all right?
2. Of course I noticed. It was no party without you.
3. What exactly do you think you’re doing sulking out here? Get your arse back to the party!

: “Of course I noticed.” (I noticed just as Astarion tried to proposition me for sex and I needed somewhere else to be).

: “Really? I"m honored. In truth, I don’t feel in a festive mood, and didn’t want to cast a grey cloud over the night.”

: “These people are still in danger. A thousand perils still threaten them. They aren’t ready to get on the road on their own.”

1. We have won this day! Danger is for tomorrow.
2. You’re right, but we need to give them hope.
3. Have some faith. Whatever happens, they’ll survive it.
4. So? If they die, they die. That’s life for you.

: “You’re right, but we need to give them hope.”

: “You’re good at it. You’ve given me some just by being here. But off with you. This is your day! Have a dance. Enjoy the music.”

: “I’ll just be off then before the game tries to get me to proposition you for sex.”

: “This might be the wine talking, but I’m feeling inspired. Thinking of writing my next song - about you. But I need an angle. Any ideas?”

1. How about courage? Classic song material.
2. Have you seen this body? It would be a crime not to sing about it.
3. Honestly? I’d rather you didn’t.
4. If I hear my name in a song, your life is forfeit.
5. [BARD] Let it be only as truthful as true poetry would permit.
6. [BARD] If I want a song about me, I’ll write it myself.

: “Let it be only as truthful as true poetry would permit.”

: “But of course. You achieved something far beyond mere fact. That deserves to be remembered.”

Mol: “Somebody stole the idol. If I find out who it was… I’ll recruit em.”

: (She doesn’t even know we put it back.)

: The rest of the dialog isn’t particularly interesting, so we’ll skip it. Next time, we’ll go through the D&D equivalent of TF2’s Dustbowl and kill a shitload of duergar.

: They deserve it.

: I still have a video from my first run of giving the duergar a juice cleanse that.. honestly didn’t work that well and was probably a massive waste of barrels.