Colors Flying High - Let's Play Persona 5 Royal

Click Here for the Side Update

9_2iVBrO_400x400: It’s time to go to the Thieves Den for the first time. You might notice that the menu tells us we’re John Persona now. This is part of the reason I’m glad I didn’t name the character John Persona.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: The Thieves Den is basically the Safe House from Payday 2, or the Memorial Hall from Deep Rock Galactic.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: It has a cutscene viewer, which… why.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Concept art gallery. I’ll probably do a single update on this at the end, since more gets added to it as we go.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: This is where the godawful card game is.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Meet Jose. We don’t know his name yet, but we will soon enough. Jose is new to Royal, and adds a whole bunch of features to this game’s equivalent of the Abandoned Factory or Mikage Ruins/Devil’s Peak.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: My first guess on seeing him was that he’s a piece of Philemon the way Marie was a piece of Izanami in P4 Golden, if not Philemon himself (even though we know that Philemon likes to pull the “I’m you in a mask” thing).

9_2iVBrO_400x400: So yeah, this is basically Joker’s Palace. Because apparently everyone can have one of those now.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: P Medals are currency you can use to buy stuff to decorate with. You get them for doing certain achievements, and getting all the achievements gives you a thing that makes it so security level never goes up and allows you to summon any Persona for free from the compendium. This requires a minimum of two complete playthroughs and requires killing four optional super-bosses which I am not going to do. Maybe if it had allowed me to import my save data from the base game.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: You can spend the medals at the Palace Maker machine, which pretty much directly confirms that this is Joker’s Palace. The stuff in “Confidants” only unlocks when you max a confidant, and the stuff in Daily Life requires doing a whole bunch of stuff we have no reason to do.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: As an example, we can buy a statue of Kamoshida’s demon form. I don’t know why we’d want that. The “enemy” category is pretty much entirely statues of the major bosses, including a few you can only actually see on New Game + because they’re of the final bosses.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: The “Metaverse” category has items from the various dungeons. We could buy the big statue of Kamoshida from the church if we wanted. I don’t know why we’d want to do that either.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: We can also buy statues of all of the starter Personas for each character. Unfortunately, there’s no statues of the upgraded Personas or the new Ultimate Personas as far as I know.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: There’s also the option to change the decor. There’s one for each Palace, plus the Velvet Room and the standard set. I picked the Velvet Room.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: This wall will fill in with pictures as we accomplish stuff. Many of these we won’t even be touching - there’s one for using the laundromat ten times and fuck that.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: This one, however, we will DEFINITELY be doing. When I said we’d be doing 100% confidants, I meant it.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: There’s also one for seeing both the Rank 10 cutscenes on the Romance route for all 10 female confidants. This means that yes, we can date Doctor Femdom if we want. She’s a very popular choice, but she’s not the best girl. We can do this without permafucking because the game saves system data every time you save, and the achievements are based off your system data. At some point, probably once we reach June or July, I’ll put up a poll for who we want to go for, if anyone.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: There’s also one for seeing the Rank 10 cutscene on the Friendship route with all of the female confidants. We’ll be getting that one as well.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Tycoon is another way to get P Medals. I’ve heard it’s bullshit hard, but I only actually played on the easiest difficulty because I had no idea how it works. Playing cards in your brain with clones of your friends is a perfectly normal activity.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: The idea is that one player each round is the dealer, and they put down a card. It then cycles… I think left to right… and each player has the opportunity to play a card, so long as the value of the card is higher than the last one put down. Jokers can, of course, be any card you want.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I started off with a real dumb move. Playing four of a kind gets you a “Revolution”, which reverses card values (so now a 2 is the highest card and an ace the lowest).

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I came in second the first two rounds. The highest-ranking player is the Tycoon, and the lowest is the Beggar. Second place is Rich, third place is Poor. At the end of the round, the Tycoon has to give a card to the Beggar and the Rich has to give a card to the Poor.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: In the last round, I figure out how the fuck the game works and come off with a win. Basically, you want to play your lowest-value cards first and then your highest-value ones. From what I’ve heard, on harder difficulties the AI basically plays like it knows which cards you have. Naturally, there are achievements for winning on the hardest difficulty.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I also win the game because if you’re the Tycoon and lose, you automatically come in dead last and get no points. If people really want to see how this works, I can stream it a little when I do the P5D stream.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Finally, there’s a thing on the second floor where you can switch to any party member you’ve recruited.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: The exit hall also has a bunch of the promo art for both the base game and Royal on the walls.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: One of these characters will be joining us in the next dungeon. The character on the far left (underneath the shot of Ryuji and Morgana) is the Anonymous character I mentioned in the last update.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Anyway, that’s it for the Thieves Den for now. If you want to change it, let me know and I’ll put stuff down.

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Can’t speak for Japan of course, but up here in Canada, at least my part of it, the hotel buffet is a professional high class dining buffet, not the “low form” of food.

It’s part of the tourism experience; you go to a fancy hotel, you go downstairs and get whatever you desire from an assortment of professionally cooked foods, and then gorge yourself on it. And because of where I live, that means roast caribou and cheesecake, among other things.

My Mom did catering so you’d be surprised how many rich people would get fancy buffet for like, their wedding. Again, probably coloured by my living in the middle of fucking nowhere tourism town.

Yeah, that’s probably very different from how it is in the US. In the US, buffets kind of had a bad reputation for a long time and still kinda do today. I think it’s because it was kind of a meme (how much of it was reality, I don’t know) in the 80s to make fun of the buffets at the casinos in Vegas. There’s also a lot of low-quality chain places (Golden Corral is one) that didn’t really help much with the reputation issue.

I’m sure there probably are nice ones somewhere, but the idea of going to a hotel and doing a buffet there is just not something I’ve ever done. Probably because I usually stay in crap hotels.

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So, showing who the next villain is can work depending on how it’s done. It makes sense for, say, Ace Attorney, where they sometimes show the villain at the start so the player knows who did the murder and can focus on how the murder happened, (AA1 also plays around with the concept rather than always telling you exactly who the villain is, but that’s a separate tangent.) I can’t say I remember Persona 5 doing anything interesting with it, though. It’s really just a clunky way to say, “hey here’s the next arc.” (And I’m gonna be honest, if they didn’t want to go down the subtle route with introducing arcs they should have given each one a flashy title card. I’d be into that.)

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Adding more fuel onto the “I’d like Morgana more if they were just a cat and not a mascot half the time” fire is that for some reason I love the idea of John Persona and his cat renting DVDs to watch. Like Danny trying to get Nick to watch Point Break from Hot Fuzz.

Also I get the feeling they won’t but between the needles that were visible in the interrogation room in the first update and Sae’s incredibly leading questions I feel a little doubt that any of this happened. Like the problems with hypnotic memory recall.

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Click Here for Update 13

9_2iVBrO_400x400: When we go to the calendar, there’s a new poll in the bottom-right corner. This will update periodically as we follow the rise and fall of John Persona.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Someone needs to tell the website operator that we’re John Persona, not the Phantom Thieves.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: The Big Bang Burger challenge is the equivalent to the Rainy Day Beef Bowl in Persona 4. It raises all of your stats by 2 for only 500 yen, which is freaking amazing. However… we can’t do it until the end of the month.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: The reason is that while the mega-burger is great, it’s actually kind of bad for grinding individual stats. Plus, we need to do a couple of things to unlock a confidant with a strict time limit.

Morgana: “A huge burger, huh? Interesting. I bet giving that a go will increase your Guts.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: This is a very, very bad line to have left in. While the burger does increase guts, there are far better (and cheaper) ways to train guts if that’s what you need… and we don’t really need it right now anyway.

Kawakami: “The gist is, don’t go around talking about the incident. That’s all. The police are still investigating Mr. Kamoshida, so I can’t say anything myself.”

Kawakami: “As a teacher though, I’m ashamed for not having noticed that a student was suffering like that. I’m not defending him, but as a colleague, he just seemed like… well, a normal person.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: This is actually more or less true for a lot of sexual abusers.

Kawakami: “Honestly, it still doesn’t feel real. I guess people can have multiple sides to them.”

Morgana: “The teachers have it rough, huh?”

Kawakami: “Oh yeah, I just remembered something I learned about psychology. They say that humans have several different personalities hidden in their subconscious.”

Morgana: “Different personalities?”

Kawakami: “Oh, to be clear, I’m not talking about multiple personality disorder. These different personalities can be a different gender or a different age from you.”

Kawakami: “I mean, if you think about how gods and monsters in myths were first based on the human image… if you actually saw one of those personalities with your own eyes, it might look like a monster.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Yes game, I know what a Persona is. I’ve only played all but one of them.

Morgana: “Mm-hmm…”

Kawakami: “Well, I’m just saying what I’ve heard. It feels like I just how understood what I learned long ago.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: This gets us two free Knowledge points. We didn’t even have to answer a question!

Ryuji: " ‘I wanna make my friend apologize for not returning the stuff I lent him.’ Ugh, deal with that yourself!"

Ryuji: “That’s prolly a normal reaction for now, but… they’ll see soon enough! If we can take care of two or three famous guys, people’ll have to believe we exist.”

Ann: “So about those big shots… we don’t have any leads yet, right? Plus there’s that rumor about you two threatening Kamoshida too…”

Morgana: “Looks like you’ll just have to live a normal, honest school life for the time being. Still, make sure you stay prepared just in case anything comes up, all right?”

Ryuji: “I’ll keep an eye out for info on any big shots that might be comin’ around.”

Ann: “And I’ll try to dig up some dirt online.”

Ryuji: “We went and formed the Phantom Thieves group, but we can’t even find a target.”

Ann: “There, there…”

Ryuji: “I guess sometimes things just don’t go the way we want 'em to.”

Kobayakawa: “You saw the state Kamoshida-kun was in, didn’t you? It’s as if his personality has completely changed. Something is definitely wrong here.”

Makoto: “I’m not sure I follow…”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Like all the other party members, Makoto’s portraits were almost entirely re-done from the base game. In the base game, Makoto had only one pose: it’s the one you see above. You can kind of tell where the new ones were added because they stick out.

Kobayakawa: “From what I’ve heard, it appears as though some students were meddling in his business. If they did something to him… who could they be?”

Makoto: “Are you saying that these students may have caused Mr. Kamoshida to change?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: You know what’s weird? Why is it that they left the Japanese honorifics in half the time, but then drop them?

Kobayakawa: “That is what I wish to know… even if it takes some probing into student matters. I would like you to look into this for me.”

Makoto: “It is true that there are many rumors regarding Mr. Kamoshida, but… do you mean all this talk about those Phantom Thieves?”

Kobayakawa: “It is undeniable that Mr. Kamoshida has changed in some way. I’d like to have a grasp of the cause.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: More awkward lines.

Makoto: “Oh…”

Kobayakawa: “I will continue speaking to Mr. Kamoshida myself. Unless you find whomever did this, these irresponsible rumors will likely never die down. Don’t you agree?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Here’s my problem with this scene. Kobayakawa is pretty much straight-up acknowledging that he believes there’s some kind of supernatural force at play here, rather than the simplest explanation of “a couple of kids found out about the abuse, went to Kamoshida, and told him he could either turn himself in or they’d go to the police.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Now, this would work if this game acted like it was a sequel to SMT If and had like, fliers around the school warning people about demons. The principal would have no idea if Kamoshida had been possessed or if there was a mundane explanation for it and wants Makoto to look into it before he goes hiring a devil buster.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I forgot the game reveals that this early, but Makoto is Sae’s younger sister. There will be a lot of parallels between them and Tatsuya and Katsuya Suou in Persona 2, both thematically and otherwise.

Makoto: “Th-thank you…”

Kobayakawa: “Your lineage must certainly play a part in this excellence. Your sister is still young, yet she holds an admirable position at the Public Prosecutor’s Office, no?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Sae clearly graduated from the same school as Athena and Apollo in Phoenix Wright, because I think she’s in her early 20s.

Makoto: “…Yes.”

Kobayakawa: “Haha, how wise. It’s no wonder you’re our student council president. I’d appreciate if you’d look into this as soon as possible. I ask that you begin at once.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Way to say the same thing twice in the same line.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: And oh look, the principal is part of a shadowy conspiracy.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: “Man, I really can’t wait to keep living this double life” is something no real person has ever said.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: For that, we get a piece of chalk thrown at us.

Mishima: “Have you seen that Phantom Aficionado Website?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Are you ready for Mishima to become the second worst character in this game?

Mishima: “I’m the one who started it.”

Mishima: “Um… you guys are the Phantom Thieves, aren’t you?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: If Mishima figured this shit out, Makoto will probably be on our ass tomorrow.

Mishima: “…Sorry. Although… if things really are as I think, I should keep it a secret. Kamoshida used me, and I did some horrible things to you guys.”

Mishima: “This isn’t much of a way for me to apologize for it… but if there’s anything I can do to help, just let me know!”

Mishima: “That’s… all I needed to say. It’s not just Kamoshida. There are tons of evil adults out there.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Everyone over 30 is the devil, I read it in 1965.

Mishima: “But I’m sure the Phantom Thieves will do something. They can’t let this end after just one target.”

Mishima: “That’s why I wanted to make a forum where people could post their problems.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: So you uh, made Nextdoor?

Mishima: “There are probably a lot of people who have high hopes for the Phantom Thieves’ next move. So I’ve also implemented an anonymous poll on the site.”

Mishima: “I wanna work on this forum so eventually it’ll be packed with tons of supportive posts. I’d really like to help out in the Phantom Thieves’ acts of justice! Can I, please?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I think what Atlus was trying to go for is the whole idea of an attorney never asking a question they don’t already know the answer to.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Mishima’s confidant is special. Unlike the others, you never need a matching Persona for it. His confidant will rank up every single time you spend time with him.

Ryuji: “Geez, it was a little awkward tryin’ to figure out when to walk over here.”

Ann: “So that forum is Mishima-kun’s…”

Morgana: “Has he figured out our identities!?”

Ann: “Even so, I think it’ll be fine. He seemed to be playing it cool.”

Ryuji: “I guess we should have a little chat about this later.”

Morgana: “I will say though… a forum where people can post problems may prove unexpectedly useful.”

Ryuji: “Anyways, we gotta get lookin’ for a new target.”

Ann: “And we need to stay sharp until we manage to find one. Once we do, we’ll have to head into another Palace, so we should prep our equipment and -”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Oh boy, exams. Exams in Persona 4 were never really that useful. Doing well on them got you S-Link points for all of your main party members, only by the time you could do really well on them you’d already maxed those out if you were going for 100%. That’s pretty much also the case here.

Ann: “Judging by that reaction, I’d assume you’re going to struggle this time too?”

Ryuji: “It’s not like you’re any better! All you’re good at is… English!”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: You heard it here first, folks. Ann is absolutely not Lisa Silverman with a different hairstyle because she can speak English (she absolutely is Lisa with a different hairstyle).

Ann: “I’d rather that than be bad at every subject!”

Morgana: “Even your Japanese is questionable at best, Ryuji.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I got back on the whole “let’s learn Japanese” train a few months ago. I’m honestly convinced that Japanese’s days as a language are numbered. In fact, I’m kind of amazed it still exists at all given how clunky it is.

Ryuji: “What’s questionable is whether you’re really even a human. Ha! Good comeback, huh?”

Morgana: “Let’s discuss this with our fists!”

Ryuji: “Bring it!”

Ann: “Will you two stop it!?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: We need to do a couple of things before ending the day, namely buying all the books from the bookstore. Medjed is Persona 5’s name for Anonymous.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: We also need to get a copy of Beverly Hills 90210. I don’t know that I’d call anything about that show realistic.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Now that we’ve accomplished those goals, it’s time to talk to Ann. Notice that Ryuji’s logo is on the back chalkboard. I got a close-up in case someone can translate it.

Ann: “It’s Shiho. Well… I went to visit her in the hospital. She… she said she was sorry.”

Ann: “Sorry for not telling me about Kamoshida… about all the things he was doing to her.”

Ann: “But it was my fault too. I didn’t realize how much trouble she was in… I wasn’t there for her… so I apologized as well.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I haven’t mentioned it I don’t think, but I kind of hated Ann’s confidant. It’s as much about Shiho as it is about her.

Ann: “All of this happened because of how weak I am… that’s why I believed Kamoshida’s authority outweighed Shiho’s own ability to earn her starting spot.”

Ann: “Akira, do you remember the last time I talked to you like this? When I got that phone call from Kamoshida… and cried.”

Ann: “I felt so alone… scared, even. But because you were there for me, I decided not to go.”

Ann: “I was a little surprised at how pushy you were about it… but I see now you just wanted to help. …Thanks.”

Ann: “You’re so kind, Akira. Back then, people used to call me all sorts of names… ‘prissy bitch’, ‘Kamoshida’s girl’… I got tired of it pretty quickly.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: There’s a pretty sizeable chunk of the fanbase that has cranked out a surprising amount of fanart of Ann being gay, and honestly I think that would’ve just been better if it was in the actual game.

Ann: “But to tell you the truth, someday I want to be able to take labels like that in stride.”

Ann: “Hey, um… Personas are the power of the heart, right? That means if my heart get stronger, my Persona will too.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: This is the game trying to tell you something in case you haven’t played Persona 4. In Persona 4, maxing out your S-Link with a party member caused them to get their ultimate Persona. The same is true here.

Ann: “So… I want to strengthen my heart. And I want to use that strength to help the people around me.”

Ann: “I hope we can save people from trouble, just like we did when we changed Kamoshida’s heart. Though honestly… I don’t even know what ‘strong’ is.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Akira goes “I’ll show you what strength is!” and proceeds to order a jar of pickles to the table, which he opens after only six attempts.

Ann: “But I’m going to find the answer. I promise.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: The game goes through a lot to try and set you up with Ann as your romance choice.

Ann: “Huh? Really…!?”

Ann: “Thanks! I feel like I’m a little stronger already! I guess that doesn’t really count though, huh?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Just like Ryuji, Ann gets an ability that can reset negotiations with certain shadow types.

Ann: “A strong heart… hm… how about this? I won’t get any refills on fountain drinks! I mean, they’re free, so not getting any would mean you have a strong heart!”

Ann: “…Is that not right?”

Ann: “Now I feel like I have a better idea of who I want to be. Also, I’m going to think of how I can strengthen my heart.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I dunno, have you tried learning Cantonese and having an unhealthy attraction to a gay guy?

Ann: “If I think of anything, I’ll let you know. I hope you’ll join me again next time!”

Ann: “Yeah, I’m counting on you! You’re such a nice guy!”

Ann: “Oh! how bout you help me come up with ways to train my heart? Just lemme know when a really good idea hits you, okay?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Oh, or maybe you could try getting really into kung fu. Drop the whole whip thing and just use your fists.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Even though we only just got the ability to go outside at night what, a week ago? Sojiro will now let us go outside of Yongen-Jaya at night.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: What we’re going to do next is something that, as far as I know, there’s no way to know you have to do unless you’ve already tried to do it.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Remember the politician we saw outside the train station? He’s a confidant. The thing is, he won’t let you spend time with him unless you’ve worked the beef bowl job twice. The beef bowl job takes place at night, so this is the first time we can actually do it.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: This sounds a lot like my job, where we spent the entire year having so much work that no one could keep on top of it but also lost several people and had a hiring freeze put into place.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: As you can see, our politician friend is here - he’s the guy in the suit and tie directly to the right of Joker.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: This gets us 3,600 yen and three points in proficiency. The only reason we’re doing this is for the confidant: Toranosuke’s confidant is one of the only ones in the game with a time limit that ends before the last day.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: While I’ve normally been trying to keep days together in updates, I’m going to have to split this one between two updates. The reason is that after the upcoming cutscene, there is a tutorial that is very long and made longer in Royal.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: The pollen warning is actually a dungeon thing, but we won’t be seeing it.

Morgana: “People are really talking about the Kamoshida incident. No one in this car knows that we’re the ones who did it…”

Kawakami: “Anyway, today we’ll be talking about The Tale of the Bamoo Cutter.”

Kawakami: “Most theorize it’s the oldest story in Japan; for some, it’s the oldest science-fiction story in the world.”

image

9_2iVBrO_400x400: This is from a card game that is now mostly dead because it sucked, but it’s probably my favorite depiction of Kaguya because she’s just kind of “Yeah fuck it I have Star Wars tech but I’m going to dress like I’m Imperial Japanese just because I can.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: It’s also like, one of a handful of cards from that game that I don’t have. I played it for like a month before realizing how bullshit it was and that the only reason anyone liked it was for the anime girls.

Kawakami: “But if you ask me, it’s the oldest story in Japan about a terrible woman. I mean, Princess Kaguya gives her suitors absurd tasks, demands fancy gifts, then runs off to the moon.”

Kawakami: “Some men lose their fortunes, some are humiliated, and some even get serious wounds or go blind.”

Kawakami: “Women like Princess Kaguya actually show up in a lot of stories from around the world.”

Kawakami: “Now then, Kurusu-kun. You’ve probably heard that a woman who uses her wiles to lead people to their doom is a femme fatale. So what’s the literal translation of the phrase ‘femme fatale’?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: This is probably a bitch and a half to answer in Japanese, but it’s almost insultingly easy in English.

Kawakami: “That is correct. The answer is ‘fatal woman’. In French, of course. Some famous examples are the witch Morgan le Fay from Arthurian legend and Queen Salome from the Bible. Not to mention the wild, seductive dancer of opera, Carmen.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Game, I fucking get it. You didn’t have to do this with Personas 1, 2, 3, or 4 because I could look this shit up for myself except when I couldn’t because you used a Chinese mythological figure with a name transliterated into Japanese or something.

Ryuji: “There ain’t even a hint of a hint about a new Palace.”

Ann: “We can’t get everything online. Finding a post with a name and location is asking a lot…”

Ryuji: “Guess we just gotta find one ourselves then!”

Morgana: “Are you seriously suggesting we look for a target that even the police have overlooked?”

Ryuji: “…Yeah, you’re right. We should prolly just hold off ‘til exams are done with, huh? We can wait and see for a little longer, then worry about comin’ up empty-handed if it happens…”

Ryuji: “We’ll get outta here once we’re done chattin’. Anyways, what’s Miss Council President want with us?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Oh right, she’s also the class rep. Hmm… short-haired female class rep… where have I seen that one before? Could it be that Hashino is a fucking hack and just made a less-interesting version of Yukino with Tatsuya’s backstory tacked on and hoped no one would notice because no one ever played the earlier games? Nah, couldn’t be.

Makoto: “The troublemaker, the center of gossip, and the infamous transfer student. Hmm, interesting combination.”

Makoto: “By the way… it seems as though you got to know Mr. Kamoshida pretty well.”

Ryuji: “Yeah, y’know he’s only been here a month or so.”

Makoto: “Hm… I heard Mr. Kamoshida used a volleyball team member to spread details of your past record. Don’t you hate him? Mr. Kamoshida, I mean.”

Ryuji: “What’s all this about? My friend here’s an upstanding guy.”

Makoto: “I don’t mean to offend. Many students have been shaken up by what happened with Mr. Kamoshida.”

Makoto: “The rumors about that odd, calling card-esque posting aren’t going away, either.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: If you ever play this game yourself, here’s a fun thing to do. Any time Makoto comes on screen, just hit the fast-forward button until she’s no longer visible.

Ann: “I didn’t expect someone like you would care about that tactless stuff, Niijima-senpai.”

Ryuji: “I dunno that it was tactless. Anyways, we done here? We can’t leave if you keep talkin’ to us.”

Makoto: “At least try to understand my position. Being forced to deal with this horseplay…”

Ann: “Horseplay!?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Just like her sister, really.

Ann: “What was that about?”

Morgana: “…She’s onto us. That girl seems rather sharp. We should be cautious of her.”

Ryuji: “She really pisses me off!”

Ryuji: “Talk about a pain in the ass.”

Morgana: “That reminds me… study hard. Especially you, Ryuji. There are bound to be traps that will need to be solved with brains.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: He acts like Eikichi didn’t completely defeat a laser hallway by admiring himself.

Morgana: “Keep in mind that everything you do in your daily lives has an impact on your abilities.”

Ann: “True, studying won’t be so bad if we just think of it as helping us prepare to be phantom thieves…”

Ryuji: “I guess you got a point. But man, it’s just so lame… I was all fired up about helpin’ people, not about studyin’…”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Next time, we’ll see Persona 5’s equivalent of the Abandoned Factory. We’ll also see someone’s fetish in action, a dumb Ghibli reference, and grind to level 15 just to make the next dungeon even more of a joke.

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In case you just saw the last update, I’m aiming to have the P5D stream tonight at around 8 EST. It will cover all the songs up to where we are now, and you’ll get to see just how much of a trainwreck P5D is.

Edit: Apparently, you don’t have access to like, half the song list to start because of course you don’t, and the songs you start with are the theme to the final boss and the theme to the Casino, which only plays when we get there and not in the intro. I might have to grind off-screen a bit.

Edit again: I grinded for like an hour and got what we need. We’ll be doing:

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I didn’t realize until I played it the first time, but this game (in addition to being a blatant cashgrab) was a mistake in more ways than one.

In my defense I know nothing about these games and only called him Principal Kingpin because of his looks, I didn’t know this whole scene about how Fisk has leverage over the prosecutor’s office scene was coming up.

At least we can honestly answer that we’re not in the Phantom Thieves. Now if they asked if we were John Persona…

Oh, trust me, I saw you call the “punch Philemon in the face” moment near the beginning of Innocent Sin. But yeah, I have a feeling that someone at Atlus was watching Netflix Daredevil when they designed the principal. Joker’s suit underneath the jacket/cape thing he wears even kind of looks like Daredevil’s - except in black instead of red.

Yeah like, I don’t know where this game goes, but Principle Elf-Ears is definitely immediately suspicious because of this.

La Lune! The Moon. Our big shiny mom in the sky. Symbolic of darkness, terror, and hidden enemies- but with a positive twist, in that this is more of a revelatory card. It is not foreboding danger, but revealing it. The dog, cat, and lobster are symbolic of natural threats and the abyss given form.

The general idea of the card is that it is an understanding of threats. In that sense, Mishima is probably being set up as a sort of early warning system. By making his fansite of Phantom Thief groupies, we are now seeing the depths of human nature, and have an early warning system if things start to go bad. The website ITSELF is the Moon, and Mishima it’s embodiment. Neat!

Also as an aside in some variations of the Moon card, it instead of these animals has an old woman sewing some stuff under moonlight. P5 has chosen to depict that old woman being attacked by the things that represent humanity’s nature and the terror of the unknown. So… there’s probably symbolism here but it’s also just really funny to me for some reason.

Medjed is also the egyptian god that looks like a person wearing a sheet-ghost costume. A being of immense power but always hidden- if you were going to make an Anon group, it’s a decent enough name symbolism wise. It also looks unironically like an ancient shitpost I mean look at this.

I kiiinda like that conceptually, since helping someone get over a painful event is a good way to become their friend and confident, but it seems like this might be taking away from learning about Ann as a character… and also if she’s meant to be Lovers and her support is about her best friend who is a girl they should end up dating.

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Also hey here’s a two hour video on YIIK for you Timrod. Highlights include; you’re in it!

Yeah. My problem with it wasn’t that Shiho was in her confidant so much as it is that at times, she kind of totally subsumes it. It actually got to the point where I was like “Why isn’t Shiho just her own confidant?”.

I think that if they’d had someone more talented write this game, Ann absolutely would’ve been gay. I’m not even entirely sure Hashino understood what he was doing, since Hashino is kind of a known homophobe and he wrote a character where it’s easier to interpret her as gay than straight. Trust me, if I remember her confidant in the original game correctly, there’s more than one point where that happens.

On one level, I can understand why they wouldn’t make Ann gay, and let me explain using an example from Innocent Sin. There were people who played through Innocent Sin and didn’t understand that Anna is gay (and that most likely, Yukino is as well, assuming she’s not bisexual). Atlus had to explain that in supplementary material that never made it outside Japan. Now, you’d think this would be because people didn’t play through Caracol twice to see the bad ending, but they also had to clarify this with Jun.

On the other though, a good writer absolutely could pull it off and there’s not really a good excuse when almost half the Innocent Sin cast was gay.

Yeah, I saw that earlier! I’ll have to watch the video at work today.

Edit: Oh christ no. Oh fuck no. No!

Oh fuck Innocent Sin was cursed and I got shunted into a new universe where YIIK is getting updates. I thought that update already happened and they just removed some unused shit! Fuck! My predictions:

  1. They’re going to force me to play through it again to get the new content, because the Allansons know about my LP and want me to suffer.

  2. The new character will be a dialog box with legs that walks around and pads the game out by 2 or 3 times. Every other line is an advertisement for that Chromo-whatever game that is just the remake of Two Brothers. Fuck!

  3. It will contain multiple softlocks because I know it will.

  4. They’ll fix the LP Toss bug.

Needless to say, if this update drops, I will immediately re-open the YIIK LP and do it. I’m hoping it never does.

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I came expecting a new update. Instead I got a two hour long video about YIIK. The Videlectrix catalog came early this year, because that was a great trip.

Back on P5, I was starting to write about how I didn’t like the Japanese voice acting in this game (not that I like the English - I haven’t heard it), but then I realized I was heavily basing that on P5D, which was the actors spouting vague, no-context exclamations in a recording booth for 3 hours, which isn’t a fair judgment.

But Nana Mizuki as Ann is still really bad and I hate every word that comes out of her mouth. Which is weird because I’ve heard in things before and she’s pretty much always good. I can’t remember what she was good in because all my anime knowledge has poured out my ear and coalesced in some metaphysical space into my Shadow, which I will inevitably encounter, reject, and be killed by. But yeah she was in…Symphogear…other garbage I can’t think of…even more garbage I can think of but is so bad I’m not even willing to name it…and she was fine in all of them. I think.

Look they did a Fusion Forecast and calculated the precise correct ratio of genders, ages, etc for all the Social Links and Shiho being a confidant would just be one high school girl too many. You might be wondering how it’s possible for a Japan game to have ‘too many’ high school girls, and they don’t know either, but Shiho being a confidant triggered Hashino’s death clip.

Either that or in the original script Shiho died, and by the time they decided to walk that back all the confidants had been decided. That’s another possibility.

The next update is actually almost done - I just need to go record the night of 05/08 quick. Your point about the voiceactors is definitely correct. Voiceactors have never been Atlus’s strong suit. I don’t even know why they bother. I’m sure the Japanese players probably turn them off, and the Western players usually set it to Japanese to escape the equally bad English voiceovers.

I looked at the list of stuff Nana Mizuki has been in and it looks like a lot of magical girl stuff I don’t watch.

It’s because he would’ve had to write something original for once and not just steal from the earlier games.

Click Here for Update 14

Morgana: “Just do as I told you.”

Morgana: “Look for a post with a full name in it.”

Ryuji: “I already said there’s no info on any big shots. Don’t you remember? But man, people actually go put someone’s real name on here. That’s some scary shit…”

Ann: " ‘He won’t listen to what I say…’ no wait, there’s no name on this one."

Ryuji: " ‘Someone’s bad-mouthin’ me in online chat rooms’… this one’s got a name."

Morgana: “Ignore those. Aren’t there any posts about more serious trouble?”

Ann: “It says he’s a teller at City Hall.”

Ryuji: “A government worker’s stalkin’ someone?”

Morgana: “That should be a suitable target. All right, now get the Meta-Nav ready.”

Ryuji: “We’re just gonna jump right into a Palace? Fine by me!”

Ann: “Hey, what happened to all that talk of unanimous decision? What do you think we should do, Akira?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: But it’s too late. Akira is already halfway across the station looking for a hot dog.

Ryuji: “We need a name and a place, right? So the name is…”

Morgana: "Actually, we don’t need a location this time. Just enter exactly what I say. The keyword is… ‘Mementos.’ "

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Mementos, the freshmaker.

Ryuji: “Huh? What’re you tryin’ to pull?”

Morgana: “Just listen to me. It should work… I think.”

Ryuji: “Geez, that again? Uh… “M-e-m-e-n-t-o-s” was it?”

Morgana: “Just as I thought!”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Really? Air? Not say, the moon… or sunshine… or broken glass? I never took Ann for a fan of King Crimson.

Ryuji: “Is this that Nakanohara guy’s Palace?”

Morgana: “That’s half right, but half wrong. This is a type of Palace, but it’s different from the normal ones. Come on, let’s head down. The Shadows here lurk underground.”

Morgana: “I don’t quite understand why. It maybe because they’re drawn to something.”

Ann: “Underground? How are we going to get there?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Ann’s heard of King Crimson, but never Going Under Ground? She really is Lisa Silverman in disguise.

Morgana: “How? You use it every day on your way to school. Follow me!”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Welcome to the Cancer Subway, AKA Mementos. This is Persona 5’s Abandoned Factory, only it’s actually used for story content. It’s actually closer to Tartarus (the Persona 3 one, not the Snow Queen one).

Skull: “Wait, our clothes changed!?”

Panther: “The Shadows know we’re here?”

Morgana: “Since the moment we stepped in.”

Skull: “You should’ve told us!”

Morgana: “We’re still safe right here. I’ve come to investigate a number of times. Shadows never come up to this floor.”

Morgana: “But it’s a different story once you go down. This place is simply teeming with them.”

Panther: “More importantly, what is this Mementos!? It’s about time you start explaining.”

Morgana: “Mementos is… everyone’s Palace.”

Skull: “Huh? Whaddya mean, ‘everyone’s’?”

Morgana: “A Palace as grand as the previous castle only forms when a person’s wishes are extremely distorted. So, instead of many individual Palaces, the general public has one gigantic shared Palace.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: This is more or less a dark version of how the collective unconsciousness works in Jung.

Panther: “Now that you mention it, this place feels a bit different from Kamoshida’s Palace.”

Skull: “When you say shared, you mean they’re all put together? Even though they’re just strangers?”

Panther: “So what you’re saying is… using this place, we can change the hearts of people who don’t even have a Palace?”

Morgana: “Correct! The steps to do so are slightly different, though.”

Skull: “But this place looks pretty huge. Are we gonna be able to get around just by walkin’?”

Morgana: “It seems the time has finally come…”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: There is no way this isn’t someone’s fetish.

Panther: “A car…!?”

Skull: “No way!”

Morgana: “This comes from the way cognition materalizes in the Metaverse, plus a bit of extra training. It’s not dissimilar to how you guys transform.”

Skull: “You turnin’ into a car is totally different than our clothes changin’!”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: In Japan, maybe. This is a direct reference to this scene from My Neighbor Totoro. I saw it as a kid, but only because my dad’s hobby was rummaging around CD and VHS racks in the 90s.

9_2iVBrO_400x400:

Panther: “Why a bus though?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: He looks more like a van than a bus.

Skull: “Wait, why didn’t you do this at the castle!?”

Morgana: “I would have if I could! But that castle was cramped, there were tons of stairs, and no way this fits on top of a chandelier!”

Morgana: “Why are you all just sitting back there? I’m a car, remember? I’m not going anywhere unless someone drives me.”

Skull: “You can’t drive yourself!?”

Panther: “Do you know how to drive?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Akira just looks at her and goes “We live in the Tokyo metropolitan region. There are trains that go literally everywhere. What is this, the United States?”

Panther: “That’s a bit worrying, but I’ll let you handle it. I don’t even have that experience to lean on.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I have to wonder if at some point, this was intended to be the first Persona game to feature non-Japanese characters.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Look at the steering wheel. It’s on the left side, but Japanese cars (as in, the ones sold in Japan) all have the wheel on the right side because they drive on the left side of the road.

Skull: “You’re prolly more skilled than I am too.”

Panther: “All right then, we’ll leave the driving to you!”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Certainly not anyone’s weird fetish, no sir.

Skull: “Uh, is that purrin’ I hear? What a creepy-ass car!”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: See? Ryuji knows.

Morgana: “Don’t underestimate my meowtary engine. We’re going full throttle! It’s time to fly!”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I have no idea what “meowtary” is supposed to be a pun of.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: So here’s a place where P5’s localization is kind of weird. In the English release, the nine areas of Mementos (eight in the original game) are all named after the Qliphoth. The Japanese version just named them after what the Qliphoth represents.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: The Qliphoth is a thing from the Kabbalah. I can’t really describe them properly, but as far as I understand it you have this thing called the Tree of Life (or “Sephirot”) that represents some weird metaphysical bullshit about how God reveals itself to people.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: The Qliphoth represent evil and are like shells that cover the Sephirot but are also a “dark tree” of evil or something. Honestly, you can pretty safely put this in the same category as Jung and his jangly key man bullshit.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: A lot of writers use the Qliphoth or Sephirot when they need dumb fantasy names. As you can probably guess, Sephiroth in Final Fantasy 7 is named after it. Lobotomy Corporation is a relatively recent game that uses it heavily, as does Devil May Cry 5.

Panther: “Yeah, I guess it’d be strange driving on the tracks like this in the real world. Anyway, Nakanohara’s somewhere in here, right?”

Morgana: “Most likely in a segment of his own creation. Don’t worry, it won’t be the size of a Palace. Our next step is to find an entrance to that segment.”

Skull: “And what’s this entrance gonna look like?”

Morgana: “I have no idea, but strong distortions should be a pretty obvious visual clue.”

Skull: “So we just gotta go wanderin’ around for it then? What a goddamn pain in the ass.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Mementos differs from regular dungeons in two ways. First, we’re playing as the Morgana-van, so there’s no stealth. Second, there’s no security level so we can’t be thrown out if we get spotted.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Right away, we run into the exclusive demon for the first area: Slime. If you’ll recall, we fused one of these back when I was grinding in Kamoshida’s Palace but then fused it away for Kodama.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Slimes suck. They’re strong against physical and gun and weak only to fire and wind. This more or less mirrors their resistances in Shin Megami Tensei 1, except in that game they were outright immune to guns.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I had Ryuji use Zio just because, and it shocked one of the slimes. This allows us to “technical” with Morgana by using his gun, knocking the slime down just as if we’d used fire or wind on it.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: If you try to negotiate with a shocked or frozen enemy, this happens. It doesn’t fail the negotiation, but keep in mind that if all your enemies are incapacitated you won’t be able to negotiate with them.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I grab one just so we can fuse it away later. Might as well.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Mementos also has little boxes you can run over with Morgana to get items.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: The dungeons here are always procedurally generated, and sometimes have item rooms. The problem is that one of the boxes is locked (and will never have anything good in it) and the other just has the same “dirty armor” we’re going to sell as soon as a certain area opens up.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Because we levelled way over where we should be, Ann has Maragi and can wipe out Slimes in one go. Maragi is kind of useless unless you’re in the very specific circumstance of having more than two enemies weak to fire - otherwise, it’s cheaper to just use two regular Agis at 8 SP instead of 10.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Most of the encounters here are garbage - they’re Pixies, Pyro Jacks and Mandrakes which give us virtually nothing at this point in terms of EXP. I go right for the goal without grinding too much, because unlike Kamoshida’s Palace, we can’t get past Slimes without using SP.

Morgana: “That seems to be Nakanohara’s Shadow.”

Skull: “Lemme see. Some front desk guy at City hall became a stalker, right?”

Panther: “I don’t know how much evil he’s done, but we have to do something if he’s bothering other people.”

Morgana: “All right, we’ll go talk to him.”

Panther: “Are you that stalker!? Haven’t you ever stopped to consider how your ex feels?”

Skull: “You can’t treat someone like shit just 'cause they did it to you! What a load of crap…”

Skull: “We’re gonna change the hearts of all the bastards like you!”

Skull: “…Madarame? The hell’s this guy goin’ on about?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Nakanohara’s shadow is an Obariyon. Obariyon just kinda dances and is another Mementos-exclusive demon.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Obariyon is weak to Electric, but since only Ryuji has that right now I just open with Psy to see how much damage it does.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: As luck would have it, Ryuji’s ability procs and he auto-crits for an immediate knockdown.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: This pretty much erases half of the boss’s HP after the All-Out Attack. Ryuji goes next, uses Zio for a knockdown, and then we do another All-Out and the boss is dead.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Under ordinary circumstances, this would be enough EXP to level up. We’re so overgrinded at this point that no one gets a level off it.

Skull: “Hold on, are you talkin’ about that guy you mentioned earlier… Madarame?”

Panther: “So some selfish bastard was making you suffer too… still, you shouldn’t have dragged an unrelated woman into this mess.”

Panther: “Change… Madarame’s heart?”

Skull: “Hm? What’s that shinin’ thing?”

Morgana: “It’s the bud of a Treasure. Had we left it, it very well may have blossomed into a Palace. Joker, this will make a perfect reward!”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I didn’t bother to check what the Attachment Pearl does, and I’m probably going to just sell it. We should, if I remember right, have Tae’s accessories available before the second dungeon and once we have those, they’re not coming off.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: If there’s one thing that Persona 5 improves on over Persona 4, it’s that all the sidequests take place in Mementos as opposed to having to hunt down materials from previously visited dungeons after the fact.

Skull: “So Nakanohara had a change of heart, right?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I mean, unless this is like Bravely Default where Morgana is actually having us kill people.

Morgana: “Most likely.”

Panther: “But how are we supposed to know if we succeeded?”

Skull: “The lady posted the dude’s name online. If he really does change, she’ll prolly comment again.”

Morgana: “Hm, you do have a point.”

Skull: “Either way, trainin’ against Shadows down here’s the best! It’s great prep for our next target!”

Panther: “It’s also nice to be able to give courage to the people who post their problems online.”

Morgana: “On top of that, we can sell whatever treasure we get for some cold, hard cash!”

Skull: “All right, we did it!”

Morgana: “Hold on. There’s somewhere I want to show you guys before we leave. Don’t worry, it won’t take long.”

Morgana: “There’s something I’d like to check in an area further down. That platform we saw earlier should be the way down. Let’s head there first.”

Skull: “Wait, you’ve been here before, right? Don’t you got like, a map or something?”

Morgana: “That would hold no meaning in this place. The layout changes every time you enter.”

Panther: “Wait, so our path changes too!?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I went and fought some Slimes to level up the party to 15. This will allow us to enter the next dungeon with as much SP as we can reasonably have. To get an idea of just how overlevelled we are, the highest level enemies in the next dungeon who are not red shadows (the way Berith was in Kamoshida’s) are level 15. We could probably beat the next boss without fighting anything.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: For context, this is the platform that goes down to the next level. I found it earlier, so the dialog’s a little bit different.

Morgana: “Of course they are. We’re in the subway, you know.”

Panther: “Yeah, but I thought this was a Palace!”

Morgana: “Then maybe this is how the public views this place? I don’t know.”

Panther: “People go through this darkness… every day?”

Skull: “Forget that! You sure we’re cool runnin’ around on these tracks!?”

Morgana: “It should be fine as long as we’re not on the same ones… I think. I’m no train expert.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Totally legit, I’m sure. Anyway, this is getting kind of long, so I’m gonna cut some unimportant stuff. This entire segment is mostly a glorified tutorial anyway.

Morgana: “See? It’s just as I thought!”

Panther: “What do you mean?”

Morgana: “That wall wouldn’t budge when I came here by myself before. But it’d be weird for the deepest part of Mementos to be some normal place like this, wouldn’t it?”

Skull: “So you were thinkin’ there’s gotta be more?”

Morgana: “Yeah! Now that Kamoshida’s Palace is gone and people are actually starting to talk about us… I knew something had to have changed down here!”

Panther: “How deep is it? Should we try going further down?”

Morgana: “Let’s not. That’s not why we’re here today, remember?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: The next part of Mementos actually opens on 5/9 - but we won’t be coming back here until the end of the month.

Morgana: “A person!? In Mementos!?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: We’ve already met Jose previously, so I’m going to skip a lot of this and just explain what it is he does.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Royal added two new items to Mementos - flowers and stamps. Flowers, like the one you see here, can be traded to Jose for a number of healing items. He can also sell you Will Seeds if you missed any.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Jose can turn the crystals you get from collecting sets of Will Seeds into rings, which honestly we probably won’t use due to how good Tae’s accessories are. His final function is that he’s basically the Cheat Shop from the later Disgaea games. You can trade him tickets to make the enemies in Mementos drop more EXP, more items, and more money.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: The fact that he’s a young boy dressed primarily in white who drives a car that he runs a shop out of makes it pretty obvious that Jose was heavily inspired by Emil from NieR.

Skull: “Who in the hell was that?”

Panther: “If he’s studying humans, does that mean he isn’t one? I mean, he just seemed like some nice kid.”

Morgana: “Well, he didn’t feel like a Shadow… I wouldn’t say he’s dangerous, at least, for now.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: The star is a special item to Royal. It’s part of a new combat mechanic that rarely turns up and isn’t really that important. We can’t even use it until June at earliest.

Morgana: “A star?”

Panther: “So what about it did you want to show us?”

Morgana: “Our wishes!?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Clearly, Jose is part of the God Hand or whatever it’s called and the star is a Behelit. I haven’t read Berserk since before they got on the boat for like ten years.

Morgana: “Nice to think that…”

Morgana: “Seriously…”

Morgana: “Hey, wait!”

Skull: “Welp, there he goes. A star, huh? He said it’d grant our wishes or somethin’…”

Morgana: “I highly doubt something like that would actually happen, even in Mementos. Well, I guess you can at least try making a wish.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Akira’s just sitting there thinking “It’s like they’re perfect for each other.”

Morgana: “…Nothing’s happening.”

Panther: “Was Skull’s wish too petty?”

Skull: “You’re one to talk!”

Morgana: “Hm. I guess things don’t just happen that easily. But we can’t just throw the thing away… hold onto it for now.”

Ryuji: “Oh, and what was that wall thing we saw at the end?”

Morgana: “I’m not entirely sure, but that wall must’ve been there for a reason. If Mementos is the public’s Palace though… it might be affected by the general public’s belief in us.”

Ann: “Why do you know so much about it, Morgana?”

Morgana: “My memories are a little foggy in that regard… however, I need to know what lies in the depths of Mementos, no matter what.”

Ann: “No matter what?”

Morgana: “Mementos is not just everyone’s Palace, it’s the source of all Palaces. It used to be that Palaces like Kamoshida’s with one ruler simply didn’t exist.”

Morgana: “So, if we can do something about the greatest cause of distortions, I’m certain my appearance will…”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Morgana clearly hasn’t heard of, I dunno, thousands of years of recorded human history involving monarchies.

Ryuji: “I see… so that’s why you came pokin’ your nose around with us.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: And now the cat’s tsundere. Just what I needed.

Morgana: “I’ll… be relying on you guys.”

Ann: “By the way, Morgana… are you a boy? Or might you be a girl?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Morgana is male, despite both his name and his code name being feminine.

Ann: “That is a possibility!”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: The thing is, they could’ve done a lot with this, but they just don’t. Is he non-binary, and that’s why he uses feminine names? Is there some other reason for it, like Morgana not understanding the concept of gender because he’s beyond it, the way the androids in NieR Automata were? They never really explain it.

Ryuji: “I wish I could deny it, but… I just can’t be sure.”

Morgana: “Why not!? In any case, of course I’m male! I mean, I…”

Ann: “…What is it?”

Morgana: “No… it’s nothing. We’re done talking about that!”

Morgana: “Anyway, we now know that we can perform minor changes of heart in Mementos. If we come across any other eye-catching leads, it may be worth dealing with them for a bit of combat practice.”

Ann: “There weren’t really any other outstanding ones though.”

Ryuji: “I bet we’ll get tons of 'em if we can change someone famous and make the Phantom Thieves well-known. The big fish are our main targets after all.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: But wait… who’s this mysterious guy that looks like Jun?

Morgana: “Is that Ryuji? Did he mention anything about Mementos? If there’s anything you want to know, I can tell you.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Oh, right. I mentioned earlier that Madarame is actually just a painter and not a traditional Japanese artist. There are apparently hints in the code for the original game that at one point, he was intended to be and was changed for some reason without changing any of the dialog about him.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: We spend the night studying. I’m not entirely sure why, because we don’t reach Knowledge 3 until after exams are over.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I was going to cut the update off here, but we can fit in one more day. It’s a short one, plus we have a bunch of confidant scenes and exams coming up.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Joker wakes up to Mishima messaging him, even though I don’t think we ever exchanged phone numbers.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Oh, right. I mentioned earlier that Mishima’s different than every other confidant in the game in that his confidant will rank up every time you visit him. The reason is that he’s basically the fox from Persona 4 - he will automatically rank up after you do certain sidequests in Mementos.

Mishima: “Oops, hah, sorry about that. I uh, haven’t been getting a lot of sleep lately. I’ve been staying up managing the Phan-Site all night, every night. I think it’s called… PR?”

Mishima: “The Phantom Thieves Aficionado Website! Phan-Site for short.”

Mishima: “You need a catchy name if you want people to notice you. This is all a bit of P-Thieves propaganda!”

Mishima: “Basically, there’s no point to taking down bad guys if nobody’s gonna know about it.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Can you already tell that Mishima is in this for all the wrong reasons?

Mishima: “That’s why I’ve started a blog for posts from people you guys saved, while filtering out the haters. We need the Phantom Thieves to be seen in the proper light if we want to make the name popular, right?”

Mishima: “Though actually, I really wanna know how you punish people. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna ask. It wouldn’t be any fun if you just up and told me.”

Mishima: “After all, the Phantom Thieves have a reputation for being secretive!”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I don’t know why they couldn’t have just put in a variable for the name you give to the group and used it here, other than that maybe they wanted to stop things like those people who play through Ocarina of Time and name Link “My Ass” because it makes a lot of the dialog funny.

Mishima: “I…I wish I could be more like you guys somehow. But I’ll still be here to draw attention to the stuff you do! You can leave that part to me!”

Mishima: “I’m gonna use my Phan-Site to promote the Phantom Thieves, and weed out any negative comments. Your popularity is gonna be at my mercy… or uh, my fingertips.”

Mishima: “It’s like I’ll be your strategic image management representative, so to speak.”

Mishima: “Hehe… just you wait. I’m gonna do everything I can to make sure that title’s more than just for show.”

Mishima: yaaawn “I’ve gotta say though, managing the Phantom Thieves’ reputation is tiring work.”

Mishima: “The forum gets all sorts of weird posts, including tons of things unrelated to reforming society. It’d defeat the purpose of the site if the tirth of the Phantom Thieves was buried among all that garbage.”

Mishima: “Oh, but you don’t need to worry. I’ll sort through all the trash. Speaking of which, I’ve actually already found some worthwhile info about our very own school.”

Mishima: “Our quest to boost your popularity can start close to home!”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: From this point on, we can take Mishima’s sidequests. There’s usually two or three per month and all of them are basically the same - dive into Mementos, fight a mini-boss, and then report back.

Mishima: “I might be overworking myself, though… man, I’m exhausted. I think I’d fall asleep on the spot if I wasn’t talking to you.”

Mishima: “I should head home… see you later.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Mishima has phone calls too, which makes no sense because of how his confidant works.

Mishima: “I was checking the Phan-Site earlier, and I found a bunch of hater comments about the Phantom Thieves!”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Yeah, but you find hater comments about everything. I remember a few months ago when someone from GooseCanyon (the group that is now fan-subbing Game Center CX) posted on /vr/ and people said dumb shit at them.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: These are the people who took over when the original SA team got real jobs, and are now the only source of GCCX subs. They do pretty good work.

Mishima: “It got me so mad, I’m not even sleepy anymore. At this point, I might as well pull an all-nighter fighting back!”

Mishima: “Huh? What, you’re worried about my health? Aw, thanks! Now I’m even more motivated!”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Things no teenager has ever actually said.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Yeah sure, let’s study and… OH FUCK IT’S SUNDAY AND WE HAVEN’T GRIPPED AND SIPPED!

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Akira rushes out of the cafe, bursts through the doors to the underground tunnel like it’s fucking Loss and buys his cupful of extremely overpriced nasty green shit five minutes before close. All aojiru is nasty by default, so this is probably like that one scene in Spongebob with the hot sauce.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: The aojiru is so horrible that the only way Akira can ever remove the taste from his mouth is copious amounts of beef. This is a special night at the beef bowl place.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Now, I can tell you for sure that I had to reload this when it happened in the base game because I wasn’t ready for it. Thankfully, I take screenshots as I play so I was saved from a permafuck. This actually happens again in the next update.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: After getting every order correct due to instinctively pressing my screenshot hotkey at every line of dialogue, we get what we really came here for.

Yoshida: “Can’t you ask your manager to hire more people? You were extremely busy… employees becoming overworked is becoming a real problem in the workplace. That’s concerning…”

Yoshida: “Hm, I should remember this. I’ll leave my payment here. Thank you for the food.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: We’ll need to meet Yoshida twice more: once on 05/18, and once on 05/26 to actually start his confidant. Like Mishima, you never need a matching Persona for him because every time you talk to him, you rank up. He doesn’t have any real sidequests though.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Yakiniku Day is a kind of bullshit holiday put forth by a trade association for Japanese barbecue restaurants. It’s based on a kanji pun and happens on August 29th.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: We get paid more than usual. I’m going to spend some of this on an experiment to see if I can get ahead on a certain upcoming confidant. We’ll see how I do that next time, when I avoid a permafuck with Ann thanks to screenshots, fuse a new Persona just because and take Joker’s mid-terms.

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Rotary engine.

Automata was released a year after Royal came out.

I want yakiniku now… but I’m sick so I can’t eat heavy meats v_v

Ah yes, the genders: Boy, Girl, and Minivan.

Also considering how easy Mishima and Makoto seem to have figured out that we are the Phantom Thieves Johns Personas so quickly I keep thinking of that Archer quote. “Real Phantom Thieves don’t tell every high schooler from here to Okinawa that they are thieves!” “…Then why be one?”

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Summary

Morgana: “That’s right, the news said pollen season was starting later than usual this year. Looks like the pollen problems have only just begun. People are about to have some itchy eyes.”

Morgana: “This might affect Mementos the same way weather does.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: For the next week or so, it’s pollen season in Mementos. I’m not entirely sure what it does - I think it starts the enemies off with a debuff.

Ann: “Ungh… actually… I’ve been having this feeling that someone’s watching me…”

Ann: “No, it can’t be… Oh! Maybe I just can’t shake off the feeling of infiltrating a Palace!”

Ann: “At the Palace, we’re always cautious of not being noticed, you know! So it has to be my imagination… yeah…”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: This game really has a problem with repeating plot points we already know. I get that the IM thing is meant to cram narrative in where it otherwise wouldn’t make sense, but we’ve already had this conversation twice.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Here’s our next Mishima sidequest. The reason we’re not going back into Mementos until the end of the month is because there’s a second one from him later on, and it’s much faster to just do them both at once.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: The game then tries to force us to go to Mementos by automatically putting us on the school roof. So much for Makoto closing it off.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: You can see the pollen in the air, which is weird because this is taking place in the middle of Tokyo. What’s giving off that much pollen in inner-city Japan?

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Instead of going to Mementos, we’re going to do Tae’s confidant some more.

Tae: “Look this way. One, two, three, four… nothing yet, huh?”

Tae: “Oh, there it is. The inhibitory effect is just as I had hoped. Your weight was the primary reason it took longer to kick in than expected.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Wait, what? Have you seen how thin he is? There’s no way in hell he weighs more than Tae does, unless she was dosing for a baby or something.

Tae: “…Yes, this is what I expected from a teenager. We’re making great progress. Practice makes perfect, right?”

Tae: “Okay, hold tight. Once I compile all the data, we can move on.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Medical Clinic of Internal Medicine? Why wouldn’t you just say “Takemi Internal Medicine”? I mean, other than that it’s pretty obvious she’s a doctor in the same way that Ada in Resident Evil 2 is an FBI agent.

Tae: “…An emergency, huh? But we’re not a designated hospital. Besides, the head physician here is Tae Takemi.”

Tae: “Ah…? Awfully rude, just hanging up on a lady like that.”

Tae: “Oh, don’t worry about it. An ambulance driver was looking for a transfer location. All the designated hospitals are full.”

Tae: “But to think they’d accidentally call a general practitioner… must’ve been a new paramedic. He seemed to at least know my name though.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: A while back, I pointed out that the Megami Tensei wiki makes a comparison between Tae and Naomi Kimishima from the Trauma Center games. Their backstories are basically the same, with the only real differences being how they got ostracized from the medical community (Tae for malpractice, Naomi for having the Healing Touch) and that Tae kept her medical license for some unknown reason while Naomi didn’t.

Tae: “Does that scare you? Participating in clinical trials run by a doctor like that?”

Tae: “…You seriously are one strange kid. Well, that’s fine. Being ostracized has enabled me to focus on my own research and development. Regardless, I look forward to working with you.”

Tae: “I’ll be sure to add some additional ‘medicine’ for you, my little guinea pig.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: We reach Rank 3, and Joker gets a vasectomy. They really, really picked an unfortunate name for the new ability.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I feel like no one actually read over the script before release.

Tae: “…You’re all good for today. You can go home now.”

Tae: “You… haven’t told anyone about my drugs, right?”

Tae: “…Okay. I mean, part of the deal is that you’re strictly prohibited from sharing anything that happens here, so.”

Tae: “I guess I’ll believe you for now.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I’d like to point out that this game, which has been abusing the hell out of ellipses, actually puts a full stop after “so.” That’s not a typo on my part.

Tae: “Feels like I’ve been getting a lot more patients asking for drugs lately. Wonder where they keep hearing about me… it’s been really bugging me.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: We have two IMs tonight. I don’t remember the part-time jobs IMing you like this in the base game. Anyway, we want to answer Ann’s IM.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: This event is special in that not only do we get 5 knowledge points ,but we also get points for Anne’s confidant. Naturally, your choice here matters for points.

Morgana: “I’m jealous you get a one-on-one study session with Lady Ann, Akira.”

Ann: “I’m actually not so good at this because of my time abroad. Anyway, time to study! Here we go!”

Ann: “Do you think you could help me with math next?”

Makoto: “You also seem pretty close with Takamaki-san if you’re both coming to school together. You just transferred here though… I guess you two really click.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Akira just looks at her like “Christ, what is wrong with you, is it not possible for a man and a woman to simply be friends?”

Makoto: “I see. You seemed a lot closer than that yesterday morning. I heard she was a victim of Mr. Kamoshida, but was that all there was to it…?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: This is where I really, really wish they’d gotten a competent writer, because you just know there’d be an option for Akira to go “Yeah no, you’ve got the wrong idea, I’m gay” and Makoto just slinks away defeated.

Makoto: “Either way, closer inspection should clear everything up… goodbye.”

Inui: “The end of the Heian period marks the rise of the samurai, which I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for.”

Inui: “As described in ‘The Tale of the Heike’, it was a time when all that was great would fall from grace.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I think the vikings would beg to differ on that, given that the Heian period also encompasses the rise of the vikings.

Inui: “It wasn’t unusual for the heroes of yesterday to be struck down as rebels of the present day. By the way, sympathizing with the loser or the weak is called ‘magistrate’s patronage’.”

Inui: “That term came from Minamoto no Yoshitsune’s position… and it also became a way of referring to him as well.”

Inui: “All right, Kurusu-kun. You know the time period Yoshitsune was active in, don’t you?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: This question is one of the few that were not changed for Royal, and I’m pretty sure I know why. In the base game, Yoshitsune was the highest level Tower Persona, with a unique physical attack that hits all enemies 8 times. He was so good that most people would tell you not to bother grinding for Lucifer and just take him instead.

Inui: “That’s right. He supported his brother, Yoritomo, during the Heian period. But despite his contributions in defeating the Taira, he was driven out by his brother and ultimately executed.”

Inui: “However, in the centuries that followed, Yoshitsune became more popular as a tragic hero.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: At this point, I decide to try something. The next several days will all be on autopilot as we go through exams, and at the end of it we immediately get thrown into a new confidant. In fact, we wind up doing two ranks of it on the same day.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: The guide claims it’s possible to get an extra point if you happen to have a matching Persona… but why would you? In this case, it’s because I already have Kodama fused and Mokoi is only like 3600 yen to resummon.

New Persona: Kusi Mitama

Origin: Japan

First Appearance: Devil Summoner (Saturn)

9_2iVBrO_400x400: In most of the mainline SMT games and Devil Summoner, the Mitamas are a special demon type that can be fused with other demons to boost their stats. In Persona, they’re just another Persona. Kusi Mitama (its actual name in Japanese) is said to cure illness.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Kusi Mitama was kind of useless in the base game because she was Strength arcana. Here, she’s been moved to Councillor and we’d need her sooner or later anyway.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I then spend 3,600 yen to resummon Mokoi so we don’t permafuck.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Today, we’re going to use those extra points we got from studying to reach Ann’s next confidant level.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: One benefit of doing confidants is that you unlock new hangout spots as you progress. The only downside is that any location that isn’t Yongen-Jaya, Shibuya, or Aoyama costs money to visit because it’s not covered by Joker’s commuter pass.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I looked at photos of the actual Inokashira Park and it’s a very touristy kind of spot. It looks kind of like this one hiking trail near where I live if anyone actually took care of it.

Ann: “So, remember how I said before that I want to strengthen my heart? Well, I came up with a way to do it!”

Ann: giggle “I got this! I think having a strong heart means you don’t let anything get under your skin. So basically, I want you to stay stuff to me, and I’ll try not to get fazed by it!”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: So uh… you want to do the “emotional anguish” bit of Chardee MacDennis?

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Oh, right. I forgot to mention that this is probably one of the worst confidant events in the game. Not from a writing perspective, but from the fact that you have to keep track of what number answer you’re on for full points. The first four answers don’t matter. The fifth does.

Ann: “C’mon, hit me with your best shot!”

Ann: “Yeah, yeah, yeah! And?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: This is where taking screenshots as I play helped. I think this was one of those things where when I did it the first time, I wasn’t sure if I permafucked or not until the very end of the game.

Ann: “Uh-huh, uh-huh. What else?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: This is the one you have to stop on.

Ann: “You’re giving up? That means I win! Wait… is this how the game is supposed to go?”

Ann: “Oh well. On to round two!”

Ann: “You know… I kinda feel like this won’t make our Personas stronger. Huh, something’s not right…”

Ann: “The next shoot is… really far. Wait, what’s this at the end?”

Ann: “It’s a notice saying to pay extra attention to the time and place they tell you. Apparently some models haven’t been showing up at all lately.”

Ann: “Then when asked why they didn’t come, the models all say they heard there was a change in schedule. It sounds like the shoots have been real hectic with all the scrambling they’ve had to do for substitutes.”

Ann: “No, I haven’t missed a single shoot so far. It probably really confuses the staff to see a sub showing up too. Hopefully it doesn’t happen to me.”

Ann: “Though actually, my first modeling gig was as a sub. That was back when I was still in Finland. My parents didn’t have enough models for their event.”

Ann: “Oh, haven’t I told you? My parents are both fashion designers who put on some seriously extravagant shows.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: If you’re looking at this and going “Doesn’t Ann’s backstory sound like some kind of fantasy that Lisa Silverman would have?” you’re not wrong.

Ann: “They jump from country to country, so I only really see them for half the year. Maybe less these days.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I’m just picturing the end of Innocent Sin with Lisa creating a new world and going “Okay, so I love my parents, they love me but leave me alone because that’s what I want, I speak perfect English and not Japanese and I’m a model…” and Philemon just glowering at her when she asks if she can also be an idol and a magical girl.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: The real question though, which I don’t think ever gets explained, is why the fuck Ann is in Tokyo if she’s horrible at Japanese. You’d think if her parents are traveling all over they’d leave her somewhere where English is the primary language.

Ann: “Yeah, I guess I can afford to be pretty relaxed these days. Plus it would probably be tough being a phantom thief with my parents around, don’t you think?”

Ann: “It was rough when I was little though. It was just me and our live-in caretaker. I didn’t really have any friends…”

Ann: “Wow, that got dark fast…! Ahaha… honestly, when I’m modeling… it almost feels like I’m connecting with my parents somehow. It’s a nice hobby to have, but I don’t think I’d want to make a living out of it.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Lisa turns to Tatsuya, who is now on top of Philemon and beating his face in. “And tell him I want to stop being a model at 18 and become a pop idol magical girl and also a princess! And you’re my boyfriend! And… and… I’m fabulously wealthy and have a castle in Europe!”

Ann: “After all, that’s where Kamoshida first spotted me… and that’s how our class started those rumors… besides, the Phantom Thieves are more important to me right now.”

Ann: “Nobody can be my substitute there! That’s why I need to get stronger!”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: It’s funny she’d say that, given how a lot of people see her role in the story. We’ll get to that a few dungeons from now.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Ann is almost certainly talking about Lupin III, where half the time Fujiko Mine is the antagonist. She usually either loses when Lupin beats whichever Bond villain she’s dating that week or when Zenigata and the police show up and force her to abandon her treasure.

Ann: “She wasn’t really a good person per se… but she was beautiful, strong, sincere, and even sexy. She always said whatever she wanted, did whatever she wanted… she knew what justice was for her.”

Ann: “I… wanted to grow up to be just like her someday. I hope I’m getting closer now, if only just a little bit.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: This feels like it should’ve been more than one confidant meeting, and it probably would’ve been except that they had to cram Shiho into Ann’s confidant.

Ann: “So after we met up, I tried doing some runway walks on the way home. Like how a cool, sexy woman would walk. Then some girl who was watching me nearby started to copy me and runway-walked with me!”

Ann: “She had to have seen me, right? Do you think she thought I was cool?”

Ann: “Hee hee… it’s almost enough to make me blush, kind of. To be honest, I feel kinda bad for her. She has no idea that the real me is a human disaster.”

Ann: “Mmm… I guess I still got a long way to go. But I’m not giving up. I made a decision that I’m going to get stronger, so I need to overcome any obstacles!”

Ann: “Thanks for hearing me out! Okay, bye!”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Back in Leblanc, we have a crossword to do. The letters they give us allow us to spell “LET’S-A MAMBO” which I feel would be a better answer.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I don’t know that I’d call Earth Wind and Fire’s September a blues song. I’m not really sure what I’d call it.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I went out to check Tae’s clinic to see if she sells her accessories yet. She doesn’t, which means we won’t have them for the next dungeon.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Another 5 knowledge and 2 points to Ryuji’s confidant. I found out why we want all this knowledge: the reason is that there’s a confidant coming up rather soon that requires knowledge level 3.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Here’s the reason we will not be finishing the entirety of exams this update. It’s because Royal desperately needs to introduce one of the new confidants, and also the worst one in the game mechanics-wise, so they added yet another cutscene. This game wasn’t padded out enough as-is.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Quick history lesson: Minamoto no Yoshitomo was Yoshitsune’s father.

Morgana: “That sounds about right. Let’s see… an essay question? This looks tough, but let’s calm down and think it through.”

Morgana: “Yoshitsune had a brother, right? Uh, I think his name was…”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Kiso Yoshinaka (also known as Minamoto no Yoshinaka) was Minamoto no Yoritomo’s cousin. Fujiwara no Hidehira was a mentor to Yoshitsune before the Genpei War that made Yoshitsune famous.

Morgana: “Yoshitsune worked under Yoritomo. He did a lot for his brother. But they ended up coming into conflict. And in the end, when they had to oppose each other…”

Morgana: “Yeah. Yoshitsune committed suicide after being exiled by his brother. But even though he lost, Yoshitsune’s the one who went down in history as a hero.”

Morgana: “That’s probably because people tend to sympathize less with figures in power, and sympathize more with…”

Morgana: “Yeah. Not just any weak person, though. People love rooting for an underdog who stands up to his powerful oppressors. And Yoshitsune did that to his brother.”

Morgana: “So the reason Yoshitsune is treated as a hero is because he stood up against the powerful Yoritomo!”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I don’t know why they felt th need to drag out exams beyond the four-part question about Yoshitsune, but here we are doing some repeats.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Digital Devil Story is the trilogy of novels that spawned the original Megami Tensei games. In fact, Megami Tensei 1 is a direct adaptation of the first book. I’ve read plot summaries and uh… let’s just say they haven’t aged well. They’ve been fan translated.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: To give you an idea, they’re basically a revenge fantasy involving a guy making a computer program to summon demons because he got beat up for rejecting a girl’s advances, because in this book all women are either inherently evil or are demons in disguise. Everything goes horribly wrong and everyone dies.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Let me tell you, if I had the ability to make a program to summon stuff I’d probably make one to summon like, sports cars. Alien sports cars. I want a fucking Lovecraftian horror of a Ferrari where the wheels are tentacles and you drive it by shoving your hands into a weird slimy thing like the Hivehand in Half-Life 1.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Right after the exam, we’re thrust into the school assembly.

Kobayakawa: “We believe the mental health of our student body is absolutely vital, so we’ve acquired the services of a therapist. The floor is yours, Doctor.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Meet Maruki. He is either the best or worst thing about Royal, depending on whether you believe Persona 5 is a well-written game. I do not. If I had the choice, I would skip to the end of the game so I could tell you why.

Maruki: "My name is - "

Maruki: “Huh?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: His mic cuts out, that’s why he’s confused.

Maruki: “Thank you for welcoming me to your school.”

Maruki: “You can even call me Doc, if that would help you feel more comfortable. Any assistance you need, I’ll be - Oh… I guess I’m not really any good for helping with money problems.”

Ryuji: “You ever expect this place to actually give a shit about our mental health?”

Ann: “Well, our school’s made national news. Maybe they figured they’d look even worse if they didn’t do anything for us.”

Ryuji: “And Doctor, uh… Doctor Whatshisname.”

Ann: “Maruki.”

Ryuji: “Yeah - wasn’t that guy basically just clownin’ it up onstage? You really think he’ll do us any good?”

Maruki: “Sakamoto-san and Takamaki-san, right? And that must make you… Kurusu-kun.”

Ryuji: “How d’you know our names?”

Maruki: “Well, I was informed of certain students before beginning my tenure here. Those that had, ah… previous interactions with Mr. Kamoshida.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: And that’s how you were able to find them instantly and knew exactly what they looked like?

Maruki: “Kurusu-kun, it must’ve been especially tough for you after having just transferred here.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Anything to get this dipshit to go away.

Maruki: “I can definitely believe that.”

Ryuji: “So… whaddya want with us?”

Maruki: “Ah yes, I’d forgotten. I know I already offered my services to the student body earlier, but would you three be interested in counseling?”

Ryuji: “Nope, not at all.”

Ryuji: “How’s that surprising?”

Maruki: “You were just a touch more emphatic about it than I’d expected.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: My respect for Ryuji just shot way up.

Maruki: “Ah! But, if you come to my office, you can have free snacks! All you can eat… would be nice, but there’s still plenty to be had. So, how about it?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Seriously, this guy’s a douche. I’d say they should bring Maki back, but I don’t trust Hashino with that.

Maruki: “Haha… you’re right. To be frank, I’ve been explicitly ordered to provide counseling to the students directly involved with Mr. Kamoshida. It’s in the school’s interest… for the students.”

Ryuji: “Ahh, the school’s interest, huh?”

Maruki: “I know that asking you to be open with a complete stranger like myself is a lot. Making this mandatory wouldn’t do you any good either. Might as well turn it into a worthwhile experience…”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Oh, but it’s absolutely mandatory. As you’ll see very soon, Maruki is a new confidant for Royal. To access the new content in Royal, it is REQUIRED that you FULLY COMPLETE HIS CONFIDANT. If you do not, you will get the regular ending from the base game and will not be able to access any of the new story content from Royal.

Maruki: “…Ooh, I know! If you attend my counseling sessions, I’ll teach you different ways to improve your mental acuity.”

Maruki: “Like, ways to hone your concentration before exams, or not getting nervous on dates. How’s that sound?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Notice that neither Ann nor Ryuji want anything to do with him… and the fact that you have to fully complete his confidant… I wonder why?

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Unfortunately, my agency over Joker gets immediately taken away.

Maruki: “There’s also snacks…”

Ryuji: “Alright, alright, enough with the snacks! So, which way are you leanin’?”

Ryuji: sigh “I guess it’d just be more trouble for us if we didn’t go.”

Ann: “Hmm, yeah.”

Maruki: “Really? Then I guess it’s a deal. I’ll be in the nurse’s office - feel fre to come by whenever it’s convenient for you.”

Ryuji: “Welp, we should get goin’.”

Maruki: “Okay, I’ll see you later.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: More irrelevant bullshit from Sae. They REALLY had to stretch the logic behind her questioning Joker pretty hard here.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Now you’ll understand why I fused Kusi Mitama. The game does not expect us to be level 12, let alone level 15.

Kawakami: “I have an addendum to the earlier assembly, regarding the counseling you’ve all been offered. The counselor will be available to you starting after school today in the nurse’s office.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: This makes two confidants with a deadline in November. The first is Maruki, the second is Yoshida.

Kawakami: “For the majority of you, it’s your choice whether or not you see him, but… there are a few students I’ll speak with later. The school’s decided: visits to Dr. Maruki will be mandatory for these individuals.”

Maruki: “Welcome. Are you here for a counseling session?”

Ann: “Yeah, is now a bad time?”

Maruki: “Not at all! It’s always a good time, so long as I’m not already listening to a student. I’m so glad you’re here. Would you care for a snack?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: I kind of hate Maruki because even though I understand he’s not a self-insert for Hashino, he still FEELS like one: he’s not old but he acts like he’s old and out of touch the way Hashino is.

Ann: “Sure. Although I really only have one thing on my mind right now, anyway…”

Maruki: “Yes, I’d say that makes perfect sense. But don’t force yourself into talking with me. You could even just grab some snacks and be on your way, if you wanted! Haha…”

Ann: “That is, if you’re willing to listen to the super-long story…”

Maruki: “I absolutely am. Take all the time you need.”

Maruki: “…I see. That’s such a horrible thing to do to someone.”

Ann: “Yes. That’s why I wanted to get even with him… for Shiho.”

Maruki: “Mmhm. And?”

Ann: “At first, I thought Kamoshida ought to face the same fate Shiho was going to put herself through. But…”

Maruki: “But?”

Ann: “…Later, I realized that wasn’t right. If he did take his own life, it wouldn’t undo Shiho’s suffering - in fact, it’d just give him the easy way out.”

Maruki: “Is that so? You know, you are quite the wise, level-headed young woman, Takamaki-san.”

Ann: “Huh? Uh, I think you’ve got the wrong…”

Maruki: “Nope - in fact, I think you’re wiser than I was at your age. I wasn’t anywhere near as mature as you are now.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: If Hashino wasn’t a hack, I’d almost think this would be him taking the piss for writing teenagers who act nothing like actual teenagers.

Ann: “It’s not like I did anything special, though. If I hadn’t gone through my own share of hell, I don’t think I’d be so mature either.”

Maruki: “I see… so, what’s on your mind now?”

Ann: “Right now? Hmm… I’m just hoping Shiho will get better quickly. We both suffered a lot, but… I just wanna get back to laughing and having fun together like we used to.”

Ann: “At this point, I don’t give a rat’s ass about Kamoshida!”

Maruki: “Now there’s a healthy outlook! You can’t change the past, but you still want to keep your chin up and press onward - is that the gist of it?”

Ann: “Yeah, that sounds about right. I mean, it’d definitely be better if none of this had happened at all, but…”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Yeah, you’re right, it definitely would be better if Royal had never happened at all and they had just localized the PSP version of Eternal Punishment. Or if they had forced Hashino out and gotten someone competent.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: You’re right, everyone would be so much happier if someone had just erased YIIK from the timeline.

Maruki: “We should wrap things up here for today - thank you so much for coming to see me.”

Ann: “Oh no, thank you! I feel a ton better now that that’s all off my chest.”

Maruki: “Hah, good to hear it - you deserve it. Feel free to stop by again anytime.”

Kasumi: “Are you here for a session as well?”

Kasumi: “Yes, that’s right. Dr. Maruki is a wonderful counselor. I’ve actually been seeing him for a while, before he ever came to Shujin.”

Maruki: “Oh? I didn’t know you two were acquainted. Don’t go overselling me too hard, though, Yoshizawa-san. I’m really nothing special.”

Kasumi: “Well, I need to get going. Please excuse me.”

Maruki: “Ahaha, well… I’ll try to make sure it’s worth the trouble.”

Maruki: "Well, full disclosure. The school gave me a brief rundown of the circumstances surrounding your transfer here.

Maruki: “Do you have to force yourself to accept everything that happened…? No, that doesn’t seem to be it.”

Maruki: “Now that you’ve told me more about yourself, I think I’ve realized something. It seems like you’ve largely been able to reconcile your internal world with your external one. I should note - that’s really, really impressive. Even most adults can’t reliably manage that.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: What he’s talking about is the concept of self-actualization. It’s very popular in psychoanalysis (Freud, Jung, Mazlow) and basically refers to exactly what he’s saying here: being the person you wish you could be. If I remember right, Jung thought that self-actualization was something you could never achieve.

Maruki: “How to put it - you know how everyone has an internal reality? Some conception of themselves they’re striving for? Like, wanting to be a model student, or wanting to be loved and relied on… that kind of thing.”

Maruki: “But that idealized reality and the one in actuality are often far apart. That gap is responsible for a lot of people’s pain.”

Maruki: “Not everyone can ace their exams. And not everyone can be the heroes they wish they could be.”

Maruki: “You’ve already been through so much. That kind of suffering is usually enough to twist people up into dark places.”

Maruki: “But you - you’re standing up to it, and confronting a tough, painful reality. To me, that’s incredibly admirable.”

Maruki: “…Then again, maybe that’s just a little weird for you to hear from a guy you just met, huh?”

Maruki: “Well, let’s see… sorry, this went on longer than I expected. Somehow, the conversation just took on a life of its own, I guess.”

Maruki: “…Hey, I’ve actually got one last request. Do you mind? I’m actually doing certain research along with my duties as a counselor.”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Why do I have a feeling this research involves asking Joker a lot of pointed questions about receiving messages from ancient aliens?

Maruki: “It’s not quite like counseling - more like a type of psychological treatment. Basically, it’s a project to learn more about people’s metaphorical hearts. What they think, how they feel.”

Maruki: “If I get far enough with it, I think it’ll be able to help a lot of people! So…?”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Seriously, am I the only one who thinks that he looks like a younger Kashihara, especially in his cut-ins?

Maruki: “Uh, I guess my point is… I’d like to ask you to help with that research! All you’d have to do is listen to my theories, and then tell me if they spark any ideas or realizations on your end.”

Maruki: “Please! Any time’s good for me - I can work around your schedule. And uh… I’ve got a lot of snacks, too! You can have them! They’re yours!”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Unfortunately, as far as I can tell, we don’t get a bonus here even though we have a matching Persona. We still needed one anyway, so it’s not like we really went too far out of the way to get it.

Maruki: “Really!? YES! You’re a lifesaver! Let’s see… I know! Maybe I could teach you some tips for mental training?”

Maruki: “I happen to know a lot about the subject. I’m sure I can cook up a special regimen for you.”

Maruki: “If you’re dedicated enough, I’m sure you could draw out your full potential!”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: The last time someone said that, I had to fight a crazy zombie bitch in a black dress and stab her repeatedly for her cool-looking ghost katana that was actually a piece of shit in PvP.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Detox X is only going to be useful until we get our party member confidants up. At Rank 6, they all learn an ability called “Harisen Recovery” which is basically Detox X except it works on ANYONE and they’ll almost always use it the first turn after a status effect hits.

Maruki: “Oh, right! Would it be okay if we traded contact information? I’ll contact you when I’ve got time, or when I need some input from you. …That should do it!”

Maruki: “Now! I’d better do my part to repay you. Let’s talk about mental training and presence. Let’s see… first off…”

9_2iVBrO_400x400: This is actually good, because as I found out, we don’t get Tae’s accessories until Rank 5. We won’t hit Rank 5 until we’ve cleared the next dungeon. This means I’ll need to skimp hard on SP the way I did in Kamoshida’s Palace.

9_2iVBrO_400x400: Fuck you, Morgana! You can’t make me sleep, you feline bastard!

9_2iVBrO_400x400: For reference, this was what every night in the original game was like. Every single night was Morgana telling you to go to bed. Next time, we’ll finish exams, actually meet Madarame for the first time, and get locked in Leblanc and be unable to grip and sip.

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I sometimes end sentences with so, but it’s always added with a shrug. As in, “The secretary said it’s okay to work in this area, but the building engineer doesn’t want anyone in here until after five, so.” shrug

Also this is bunk when I was in high school I never got to bring my cat to school and bounce ideas off of her while I was taking an essay question this education system is trash garbage.