Colors Flying High - Let's Play Persona 5 Royal

Click Here for Update 111

newmascotresized: I read back through a couple of my more recent updates, and I’m starting to realize that it seems like I sound a little too bitter about this game - but you have to understand that this part of the game drags real hard.

Ushimaru: “…No, it’s fine. Let him sleep. Students are busy - it’s normal to be tired. I’m a little sleepy myself. I was playing pretend Featherman with my grandchild yesterday and I got a little too invested…”

newmascotresized: Bullshit. I refuse to believe he’s not reliving his glory days in the Heike clan fighting against the Genji clan.

Ushimaru: “What? You all don’t know Featherman? It’s a sentai series that teaches you about justice. We’ll watch it in class someday. …Speaking of which, did you know the concept of ‘justice’ is different in western culture and eastern culture?”

Ushimaru: “Kurusu, look at this.”

Ushimaru: “She holds a set of scales and a sword, and she’s stepping on something… do you know what she’s stepping on?”

Ushimaru: “Wonderful. That’s correct. A lot of stories tend to paint snakes as a symbol of sin, or some kind of agent of evil. In western culture, justice tends to be about enforcing the rules.”

Ushimaru: “If you want everyone to live in harmony, rules are absolutely necessary… so anyone who disrupts those rules might just end up like this snake.”

Ushimaru: “Eastern culture, on the other hand, views justice more like acting and thinking ethically. This exists in the individual. In other words… all humans have their own sense of justice.”

Ushimaru: “It’s not an easy way to live, but… I’m sure you will all be fine. Oh, time’s almost up. So about your homework… none for today! Get some rest. But make sure you’re awake for the next class, all right?”

MorganaCat: “Ushimaru’s really… I’m getting the shivers.”

newmascotresized: And now… it’s nothing but Sumire. Fuck.

Sumire: “It’s a special program that revolves around boxercising. It relieves stress, and it’s open to the public… I was thinking you could come along if you wanted.”

newmascotresized: I actually did something like that for a little bit during the pandemic - my mom bought into this on-demand workout video thing and I dropped it after I realized how dumb it was.

Sumire: “I’ll introduce you to coach Hiraguchi-san once my lesson ends. She’s an amazing person. She’s been guiding Kasumi and me since we were little.”

newmascotresized: Oh hi, Kasumi. I thought the entire plot was that you were dead.

Sumire: “It gets tough after a while. Your limbs start feeling heavier the longer you keep them up. Whenever we did this before, all I could focus on was how well Kasumi was doing. And how much I wanted to stop.”

Sumire: “Kasumi was probably so disappointed in me… I got tired out so quick…”

newmascotresized: Get used to the “10 choice” format where half the choices don’t matter.

Sumire: “I know I disappointed myself, at least. Kasumi never doubted herself for a second… and then there’s me… oh… I think it’s almost time for my coach to show up. I’m kind of nervous.”

Sumire: “You could say that. She’s tough on us, but she’s a great mentor. She’s been helping Kasumi and me for a long time. Even through all my stupid delusions as Kasumi, she never stopped helping me… I don’t know what I’d do without her.”

newmascotresized: …Why is Sumire’s coach a more-or-less accurately aged Jill Valentine?

Sumire: “Y-Yes… I’m sorry I worried you. Um, I’ve… I’ve been running away from what happened to my sister.”

newmascotresized: So what you’re saying is that this is Sumire’s… Last Escape?

Sumire: “I’m not totally back to my normal self, but I’m working towards a new goal. I want to be the best in the world… so now, I’m going to do what I can as Sumire.”

Hiraguchi: “I see… by the way, who’s this?”

Sumire: “Oh, um, this is my senpai from school. We both came here for a lesson.”

Hiraguchi: “Oh, so you’re… fine. Let’s have you go first, Sumire. You can start with your combination.”

Sumire: “Y-Yes, ma’am!”

Hiraguchi: “…Okay, you can take a break. We’ll do some more later.”

Sumire: “Phew… hah… th-thank you very much!”

Sumire: “So… how did I do? I tried to put some real force into that combination.”

Hiraguchi: “…You said you were going to perform as Sumire this time. I didn’t see that at all. All I saw out there was Kasumi… or a shadow of her, at least.”

Sumire: “Wh-what…?”

Hiraguchi: “Kasumi defined her performance by boldness, yes. But that’s not something you can appropriate for yourself. It came from the energy within her. That’s what made her Kasumi.”

Hiraguchi: “I told you to think about who you really are. Seems like you still don’t understand what I meant.”

newmascotresized: This reminds me so much of this manga I read called Oshi no Ko, which starts out as an isekai and promptly forgets that in favor of becoming a special interest manga about acting.

newmascotresized: Halfway through, the main character starts getting into fucking acting fights, and that’s the kind of shit they say during those.

Sumire: “…”

Hiraguchi: “You need to stop hiding behind Kasumi. If you keep denying yourself like this, how can she still call you her rival?”

Sumire: …“Huh!? What’s that supposed to…?”

Hiraguchi: “I never wanted to draw attention to it, but Kasumi had a very competitive streak. She hated to lose. She would always tell me… she was so jealous of her little sister, and her delicate, graceful style.”

Hiraguchi: " ‘I can’t lose to her’, she said. She wanted you to see that."

Sumire: “She… she said that? Th-that’s… impossible. Kasumi could do anything, and I… I was nothing…”

Hiraguchi: “I’ve said all I wanted to say. But I suggest you think a little harder about it.”

Sumire: “…”

Hiraguchi: “Okay, it’s your turn now! Get ready!”

Sumire: “Thank you, but I’m fine. I noticed she was quite impressed with your physical abilities. Compared to you, though… I was pitiful. Me, graceful…?”

Sumire: “Now that I think about it, I guess that’s the one thing my coach used to compliment me on. But even with that, I couldn’t match Kasumi’s performance at all. …And now she says Kasumi saw me as a rival…? I don’t believe it.”

Sumire: “I mean, all I was doing was imitating her. Even since the beginning, I was just following Kasumi… that was fine in the beginning. I loved being with Kasumi, and it was fun.”

Sumire: “But ever since I started noticing the difference in our gymnastic skills, one thing became clear… I’ll always be someone less than Kasumi. I’m just worthless after all…”

Sumire: “Thank you for saying that. You’re very kind, Senpai. Still, something occurred to me when Coach told me what Kasumi said. I realized… just like she wanted to show me what she could do, I still want you to see my own abilities.”

Sumire: “You remember? Like when I tried to show off back at the batting cages? Oh… maybe that’s what I need to chase. Maybe that feeling can help me get some confidence!”

Sumire: “It sounds like even Kasumi liked my more subtle and delicate moves, so… if I mix it with her aggressive style…”

newmascotresized: This is effectively a direct reference to Sumire’s Showtime attack. Most people are only going to see it on the day you fight Maruki, because it only unlocks when her confidant is maxed.

newmascotresized: This scene makes more sense as an unlock scene than the actual unlock scene, so let’s pretend it unlocks here. I’ll go borrow some footage.

newmascotresized: Sumire’s Showtime is the only one with a name that makes sense. Its Japanese name is “Dances with Phantoms”, and it’s less a Showtime between Sumire and Joker as much as it is between Sumire and herself.

newmascotresized: The footage was taken from this video.

newmascotresized: There’s a couple of frames of pure motion blur that are impossible to capture.

newmascotresized: It’s not a Hashino game without creepshots of underage girls.

newmascotresized: You may recognize this last shot from the Yusu-Gay I posted after the school festival. Oh, and add “The fact that Dances with Wolves was not in fact about dancing” to the list of shit the writers don’t understand.

newmascotresized: In case you’re wondering what the English name for that attack is, it’s “Dances with Thieves” which completely misses the fucking point.

Sumire: “Right? Maybe I’ll be able to step up my routine! If the key here is showing you what I can do, then I just need you to watch me again…! Senpai, will you go out with me again?”

Sumire: “Th-Thank you so much. As long as I’ve got you behind me, Senpai, I can keep moving forward.”

Sumire: “I’ll think about what else I can do. When I figure it out, I’ll let you know. Oh, is it time already? Let’s get going.”

Sumire: “Coach Hiraguchi’s so strict, isn’t she? She wasn’t going easy on you at all… she used to make me and Kasumi work so hard. She was so harsh, she even made me cry a couple times.”

Sumire: “But Kasumi said she was probably tough on us because she saw our potential. Thanks to Kasumi supporting me with her strength, I kept working hard.”

Sumire: “It didn’t seem like you were struggling at all, though. You might be just as tough as Kasumi… amazing.”

Sumire: “Oh, I see… so you let the struggle fuel you. I wish I could do that. I can’t stop thinking about what she mentioned, though… my own energy, huh…? I guess I’m the only one who can find that answer.”

newmascotresized: Thank fuck that’s over. This entire situation with Sumire feels like the writers forgot she existed for half the game and realized it only when they had gotten to the end of the game.

newmascotresized: We can buy the Supernova Burger at Big Bang Burger to do the final trade in Kichijoji. This gets you a Soma, so it’s totally worth it.

newmascotresized: You know, Persona 5 Royal is a lot like how I once heard someone describe what watching Lucky Star in reverse would be like. Joker has run out of things to do, and all that’s left is to talk to Sumire.

newmascotresized: The joke is that they’re dressing Sumire like an old anime lady.

Sumire: “I see. Well, I guess it’s important to have a balanced diet…?”

newmascotresized: Joker stands there and shouts “Walk up to Sumire!”

Sumire: “Oh, Akira-senpai! I’m glad you made it!”

Sumire: “I tried this ensemble based on the staff’s advice, but what do you think? I’ve definitely been getting attention in this. Some people are even staring! This is sort of like showing off my own style, right!?”

newmascotresized: Sumire is too dumb to live.

Sumire: “O-Oh, you don’t like it? I thought it was a pretty cool outfit… well, to be honest, I could tell some of this was a little off. I mean, they say these are leopard spots, but it could just as easily be some kind of… mutant giraffe. Anyway, I should change.”

Sumire: “…So once again, I totally misinterpreted everything and made no progress at all. Classic Sumire. I wasn’t like this when I was looking for my father’s glasses… I feel like I’m doing so much worse than when I thought I was Kasumi…”

Sumire: “I don’t even know if I’m worth showing off, let alone how to do it.”

Sumire: “You’re right. I have you, Senpai. I need to make sure you see the real me… Okay. I don’t have time to be lost in my thoughts. I’ll find some clothes that’ll help me show off my true self!”

Sumire: “But still… look at how many different styles there are. Huh? Why does this sweater have a hole…? Where is this string going…? Um, what do I do now…? This is a lot harder than I thought.”

Sumire: “Hmm… this isn’t it… all of these clothes are very stylish, but I’m not sure I’d really want to be seen in them… how do I want to be seen…?”

newmascotresized: Hopefully as little as possible, because fuck I already hate you.

Sumire: “Or… how do I want Senpai to see me? Senpai… Senpai… hmm…”

newmascotresized: Seriously though, I thought Akechi’s writing sucked. This is something fucking else.

Sumire: “W-Well, yes…! But if you look at me, I don’t know what to do! …Oh! R-Right. Maybe it shouldn’t be that one-sided… if I give other people attention, then surely I’d get attention in return.”

Sumire: “I think I get it. Oh…! I think I’ll try on… this one!”

Sumire: “Um, what do you think?”

Sumire: “Wh…What!? D-Did you just say what I think you said!? You said you’re… in love…?”

Sumire: “S-Sorry, I know you didn’t mean anything by it, I just wasn’t ready, I mean my heart wasn’t, so I’m kind of- H-Hold on, I need to calm down… okay, deep breaths… hahhh, phew…”

Sumire: “B-But I really am happy to hear that. Thank you. For letting me show you a part of myself. I’ve made up my mind. Um, could you wait here for a second? I need to go buy this.”

newmascotresized: Does this event ever fucking end? Holy shit.

Sumire: “Umm, I’m not sure if I can call it an answer, but… thanks to you, I think I realized something. When I first saw that piece, I kind of fell in love with it. And um… it’s a little embarrassing to say this, but…”

Sumire: “My first thought was that I couldn’t wait for you to see me in it. I wondered what kind of face you’d make, or how you’d react… I wanted to see that side of you…”

Sumire: “Oh, um - I don’t mean anything weird by that. I just wanted to… show myself off to you, I guess. To see you, and be seen. The more I thought about it, the more important that feeling became.”

newmascotresized: Who the hell wrote this? What dipshit thought that actual people talk like this?

Sumire: “And then, suddenly, I just… realized I wasn’t nervous anymore.”

Sumire: “I’ve always been really bad at making decisions on my own… I mean, Kasumi always picked perfect things for me anyway. I never knew making my own decisions could feel validating.”

Sumire: “So I didn’t really feel a need to choose anything for myself. After all, nobody expected me to. But today, I picked something because I liked it. And I felt confident in that.”

Sumire: “Even if you didn’t like it… I don’t think that’d change how I feel about it.”

newmascotresized: You know how I can tell no one proofread this shit? I can tell because anyone who proofread this would immediately go “This conversation fucking drags” and cut half of it out.

Sumire: “Yes! And I feel great about it! Is this what Coach meant? About Kasumi wanting me to see how she felt…? If that’s true, then… did she really think I was…?”

Sumire: “Well, I can’t say for sure… but I think as long as I’ve got you supporting me, I’ll be okay.”

Sumire: “Now, we should head home. Thanks for coming out with me today. Oh, should we go buy some clothes for you next time? You could always try on that savannah ensemble. I think it might even suit you better than me… maybe.”

Sumire: “Having you watch helped me find something I really liked. Oh, um… when I say it like that, it’s actually a little embarrassing… b-by the way, where do you like to get your clothes from, Senpai?”

newmascotresized: Joker’s like “The clothes I get from dead demons are technically in a world inside my cell phone, so I’ll say that’s online.”

Sumire: “I see. Well, online shopping’s definitely convenient. But don’t you get worried? The clothes always look so different in person than they do in the display pictures…”

Sumire: “I’d love to hear what you consider when you’re picking things out. Isn’t it so fun to pick out clothes, though? That one I bought today was so gorgeous. It’s almost too nice for me to actually wear it.”

Sumire: “Though I guess that defeats the purpose, if I want people to see me in it… ahaha. Oh, I guess I’d better let you go. Talk to you later…”

newmascotresized: We spend the night sipping boyfriend juice at the club with Yusuke, because…

newmascotresized: It gets us Arms Master. One of the reasons I don’t typically use the physical-type characters in Persona games is because they can get shut down very easily - their offense is entirely dependent on their HP, whereas Ann doesn’t really give a shit how much HP she has so long as she has SP.

newmascotresized: Arms Master lowers the chances of Yusuke getting oneshotted after using skills, and also makes it harder for enemies to shut him down completely.

newmascotresized: There’s a segment on the train I’m going to skip, because it’s letting you know about the fishing pond - we did an event with Ryuji and Kawakami there once.

newmascotresized: The fishing minigame is god the fuck awful. I tried it offscreen, and it’s… bad. You have to catch fish to get bait to catch bigger fish and the whole thing is totally not worth it.

newmascotresized: We have Sumire’s Rank 9 today. Buckle up for another conversation that’s going to drag the fuck out as long as possible.

Sumire: “Thank you. I just needed to talk to you about something in person.”

Sumire: “Mm… it’s really good. Something about it is relaxing. I think I’ll be ready to show Coach Hiraguchi my performance soon. And if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like you to be there when I do… is that okay?”

Sumire: “Great! I’m so glad… but that’s not what I came here to talk about. Do you remember what I said when we went clothes shopping? I talked about wanting you to see me, and how that helped me stop worrying?”

Sumire: “I’m so glad you remember. I was thinking about Kasumi… I wondered how she must have felt. Thinking she didn’t want to lose to me, and wanting me to watch her…”

Sumire: “Maybe that’s what we had in common. We both wanted someone specific to see our efforts - to see us as we are. As long as we have that someone watching us, we can stay strong.”

Sumire: “So I finally realized something. I think part of Kasumi’s strength came from that. …I was the one she was thinking of. I never heard her say it, but…”

Sumire: “Maybe she’d been trying to tell me through her performance. Haha… I can’t believe it took me this long to figure it out… I’m such an idiot. But I’m glad I finally realized it.”

Sumire: “Even as worthless as I am, I hope I still helped Kasumi somehow…”

Sumire: “Yes… I think so too. …Kasumi’s beyond any apologies I could give her. I can’t tell her how I feel. She’ll never see me perform. That’s reality, and it happened because of me. I’ve been running away from that for a long time.”

Sumire: “But I’m done running now. It’s time to stand on my own two feet. I want to live for both of us now. For the sake of everything we wanted. I want to grow even stronger.”

Sumire: “Even if I end up in tears from failing at a meet, or if the pressure’s too much for me sometimes… with Kasumi’s confidence, and the grace she recognized in me… I’m going to keep moving up.”

Sumire: “I’m going to show Kasumi who Sumire Yoshizawa really is.”

Sumire: “Um… and so… now that I’m committed to, you know, not running away from my feelings… I, um… th-there’s something I need to tell you, Senpai!”

newmascotresized: I missed a correct answer here: the correct answer is the third one, and I don’t know why. It seems really arbitrary. I don’t think you absolutely need this one to rank up, and even if you did we have enough free days (and/or money to pay Chihaya) that it doesn’t matter.

Sumire: “Oh! I-I’m sorry! I’m getting to it! I realized it was less a matter of showing off, and more wanting someone to watch me… that is, wanting someone special to watch me. Someone I’d want to have eyes only for me.”

Sumire: “And I thought to myself, well, for me, that special person’s obviously Senpai! So… I think that means…”

Sumire: “I’m in lo… l-l-lo… I’m in… lo…”

Sumire: “Um, but… the last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable, so…”

newmascotresized: This is the splitting point between the romance and non-romance routes. We’ll be promptly friendzoning Sumire, and doing her Rank 10 next update.

newmascotresized: There’s not really much content left, depending on whether people want to see the last two Mementos requests or not. We have no reason to do them, but I’ll leave it up to you.

Sumire: “…! Thank you so much, Senpai. I’m glad you could be honest with me. And I’m still happy I told you how I felt. I don’t regret anything. Even if you don’t feel the same, I’ll hold onto my feelings and let them drive me forward.”

Sumire: “Oh, but please - things don’t have to be different between us now, okay? I love and admire you as a friend, too. No matter what, that won’t change. So I’d still like for you to keep your eyes on me. Even just as friends.”

Sumire: “Just watch me, and I promise I’ll keep improving!”

Sumire: “Of course! I’ll be counting on you! Ah, and you can always rely on me too. I want to help you as much as I can. Oh, it’s already this late…? I need to get to practice…”

Sumire: “Thank you so much for the coffee. Now, if you’ll excuse me…”

Sumire: “My heart is still pounding, actually. I managed to tell you how I feel… that would have been unthinkable for my past self. I really feel like I’ve matured. And I’m really glad for your part in that, Senpai.”

Sumire: “I’ll always hold onto this feeling, and I’ll use it to keep moving forward! Oh, I’ll be heading out soon. I’m about to have Coach Hiraguchi watch my performance.”

newmascotresized: We’ve got another crossword puzzle tonight, and then I’m calling it.

newmascotresized: Next time, we’ll see Sumire’s Rank 10, get the rest of the room decorations, and then hopefully get to see the scene on 2/2.

Okami still fishing minigame king.

I don’t think it’s really crucial to do those last Mementos missions you mentioned. But it technically won’t be a 100% LP if you don’t…

I think that’s because they had a new person onboard who completely re-wrote the entire technical side of things - that being the same person who did the tools for the PS1 version.

Yeah I guess I’ll do them.

Click Here for Update 112

newmascotresized: We’re going to get through the first part of Maruki’s palace this update. I couldn’t finish it in one session because it is full of cutscenes and is generally a boring shitpile.

Chouno: “Well, English slang is constantly evolving with the times. Textbook English is more static. It’s so lame… but sometimes you can work out the meanings behind slang through context clues.”

Chouno: “Some are just natural extensions of English-language constructs that have already been in place for years. Others might combine normal words, or use more common phrases in new or unusual ways.”

Chouno: “Take ‘thirsty’ for instance. Ordinarily, it describes a need for a drink. That’s a pretty serious need, right? But as slang, it describes someone who’s a little too desperate. Like a boy who won’t stop asking you out…”

newmascotresized: Joker glares at Morgana.

Chouno: “Oh, and ‘hangry’! That’s when you’re so hungry, it puts you on edge, and everything makes you mad. So here’s a test! Mr. Kurusu! Would you say you’re feeling a little… salty?”

Chouno: “What would ‘salty’ mean if used in the slang sense?”

newmascotresized: If you speak English, you know the answer. I want to skip this. I want this LP to be over. I fucking hate this game.

MorganaCat: “All right, I’ll help. So we need to figure out what ‘salty’ means in the slang sense? Maybe there are clues in words like it. You can call someone ‘sweet’, right? What does that mean when describing a person?”

MorganaCat: “Yeah… you’re right. And it has a pretty positive connotation. So what kind of connotation would ‘salty’ have in that context?”

MorganaCat: “Yeah, I think so too! After all, people only describe food as salty when the salt overpowers everything else. So if it’s a negative connotation, then… it’d have to mean someone’s feeling bad somehow.”

newmascotresized: I have a hundred other games I could be playing instead of this trash fire. I haven’t even touched Shin Megami Tensei V, I never finished Metroid Dread…

MorganaCat: “And it’s probably something you can say about yourself or other people. So with all of that in mind, ‘salty’ probably means…”

MorganaCat: “Yeah, I think so too! It makes me think of someone who’s ready to pick a fight, you know? So if you call someone salty, that probably means they’re angry or resentful! Phew, that was a rough one…”

newmascotresized: At this point, I’m not even angry anymore. I’m just tired. Very, very tired.

Chouno: “Excellent! Yes, it means you resent something. Other flavor-based descriptors apply to people, too - like sweet or sour. Slang can be rooted in many origins - common words, acronyms, and of course, portmanteaus.”

newmascotresized: Actually, I’m still angry. Fuck you, Royal writers! We don’t need any more of these pointless fucking questions! There’s not even another exam because the game fucking ends in a week! Fuck you!

Chouno: “Have you ever heard of the word ‘frenemy’? It’s a portmanteau of ‘friend’ and ‘enemy’. Think something like a rival, or an enemy who acts friendly with you.”

Chouno: “So? More fun than stuffy old standard English, right? But it’s good to learn the rules before you break them. If anyone wants to learn some extra slang vocab, I would be positively psyched to offer some bonus lessons!”

MorganaCat: “Frenemies, huh…? I’ve had enough of backstabbing.”

newmascotresized: Today, we have an optional event with Haru in Tsukishima.

Haru: “Akira-kun, won’t you teach me?”

Haru: “You’re right. This is an important learning experience, after all! Oh, there are instructions here. Okay, let’s start with the basics of making monjayaki!”

Haru: “Hm? It seems underdone in this picture… is that really how it’s supposed to be eaten? This says you use the spatula to pick it up… then eat directly from the spatula…!?”

Haru: “This is amazing! I’m quite curious about the taste too! Well, we should order.”

newmascotresized: I like to think monjayaki was the creation of an angry Japanese chef who went “Fine! You fucking do it then!”

Haru: “To think you can enjoy making it in addition to eating it… monjayaki is a splendid food. However, it’s a little hard to judge when it’s ready. Sorry I burnt our last few attempts.”

Haru: “I suppose I just need to train harder. Can you still eat more, Akira? Oh! Today is the restaurant’s anniversary, so they gave me a commemorative present! Do you think you can use it to cook?”

newmascotresized: This is the Jagao Doll, the last crane game prize. Not pictured - Yusuke hurling Morgana out the window.

newmascotresized: Today, we finish Sumire’s confidant. After this, there will be nothing left to do but Maruki’s palace.

Sumire: “It looks like… my coach is yet to arrive. I’m usually so nervous when Coach Hiraguchi watches my performance. Partially because she’s worked with me for so long - that’s why I don’t want to let her down…”

Sumire: “But today… today I’m excited about this.”

Sumire: “When you compliment me like that, I feel like everything’s going to turn out well in the end!”

Sumire: “Thank you for making time to observe me today! I really wanted to get an unbiased evaluation from you.”

Sumire: “Yes, ma’am. I’m confident in the routine I’m about to perform.”

Hiraguchi: “Well, at first glance, I’d say you look like you’ve got it all figured out - but! I’m here to gauge your performance, not just let you brag about it. Now begin!”

Sumire: “Ma’am!”

Hiraguchi: “Could this be your doing?”

Hiraguchi: “You two are cute together.”

Sumire: “Thank you for watching!”

Hiraguchi: “…”

Sumire: “…”

Hiraguchi: “You’ve grown so much, Sumire. I’m sure this is no surprise to you, but the path to international success will be harsh and relentless. Are you ready?”

Sumire: “Absolutely! I WILL be the number one in the world of gymnastics! I will make our dream a reality!”

Hiraguchi: “Glad to hear you’re so sure. With your natural grace and dedication to reach the gauntlet, no matter how far it is from your grasp… your dream is no longer impossible. And, you’re the one who decided that, not me.”

Sumire: “Huh?”

Hiraguchi: “You didn’t even realize it, did you? Today’s the first time you’ve told me you will win on an international level. Until today, you’d only tell me ‘I hope I win’.”

Sumire: “Oh…!”

Hiraguchi: “And am I correct in believing you weren’t alone in this mission of yours?”

Sumire: “Coach… yes, that’s right!”

Hiraguchi: “It’s good to hear you have someone who really understands you in your corner. …Your performance today truly was impressive. I’m looking forward to your next lesson already.”

Sumire: “Happy doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel… I’m super-duper-happy right now! Thanks to you, I feel like I’ve finally found the answer I’ve been searching for…”

Sumire: “…As well as discovering what’s most important to me while performing. I genuinely can’t thank you enough.”

Sumire: “Ah… good point. I’ve only just approached the starting line. I’m sorry for repeating this to death, but I really do need to say it again… I’m so grateful that I got to meet you, Akira-senpai.”

Sumire: “I’ve learned all sorts of things from my time with you… now, I can show everyone how I really feel - and the two of us can take the crown of the gymnastics world!”

Music The Path Is Open

newmascotresized: Maria is the worst ultimate Persona. No, seriously.

New Persona: Maria

Origin: The Bible

First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei NINE

newmascotresized: We have a whole list of increasingly less useful party members who have big heals, and Heat Riser sucks when you have Attis. I don’t think you can pass down any of her abilities, either.

newmascotresized: The game considers this to be 100% - this is because the final two confidants (those being Sumire’s Rank 11 and Akechi’s Rank 11) are automatic if you have their Rank 10.

newmascotresized: We also get the award for dating everyone, but we don’t get the one for not dating everyone because I didn’t bother saving after most of my re-records.

New Persona: Freya

Origin: Norse Mythology

First Appearance: Megami Tensei II

Norse goddess of love, beauty, and fertility. Twin sister of Freyr, who was Ayase’s ultimate Persona in Persona 1. She’s referred to as “Vanadis” in Royal, which is a different name used for Freya in the Prose Edda.

newmascotresized: The game gives you the ability to take Dodge Curse, and I do not know why. Dodge Curse doesn’t even work if you have Ali Dance, because of the way Ali Dance overwrites the normal dodge mechanic.

Sumire: “It’ll be you and me… and Kasumi. All three of us taking on the world as a team!”

Sumire: “No matter where I perform… even if it’s on the other side of the earth… it feels like you’ll still be there, watching over me. I really do believe that with all my heart!”

Sumire: “Thank you so much for coming out to support me today. I really hope we stay as close as we are on our way to the top! …Boy, my body’s still so jittery. I feel like I need to keep moving!”

Sumire: “Senpai! Please join me in a bit of extra training. We’ll start with some basic stretches! We’re going to do a full routine, so I hope you came prepared.”

Sumire: “I feel like I’ve finally managed to move past the trauma. I’m ready to be an international champion. And Kasumi… well, she’ll be right there with me.”

Sumire: "That’s why I want to turn this world back to how it used to be. I want to keep my promise to her. "

Sumire: “Great! I’ll do everything in my power to support you. With me, Kasumi, and you combined… we’ll be invincible! I’m thinking of tying my hair up again… I know it sounds a little pretentious, but it’d be proof of my resolve.”

Sumire: “Like a reminder. So I always remember Kasumi’s true feelings. …Oh, I’m sorry for talking so long. I hope we can accomplish even more together. Okay, good night.”

newmascotresized: Today, we’re going into Maruki’s palace. It’s a day early, but we have nothing else to do.

newmascotresized: Because we’ve met the criteria to unlock Sumire’s Showtime attack, we do so today. Note how lame and generic this is instead of just having it unlock during her Rank 10 or something.

MorganaCat: “Wow, you got here fast.”

Sumire: “Well, while I was travelling here, I suddenly had this epiphany… so I had to hurry over and explain it to you.”

Sumire: “Right… I’ve been wondering for a while if there’s any way I can bring some personal flair to my fights in Mementos.”

MorganaCat: “Your own flair, eh? And you came up with something?”

Sumire: “Yes! But, I do have a small favor to ask, Akira-senpai… what we’ll do is…”

MorganaCat: “I see… how interesting!”

Sumire: “I feel like… this move would allow me to honor Kasumi properly. So… how about it, Akira-senpai?”

Sumire: “Thank you! This should make for one killer routine!”

Sumire: “Oh…”

MorganaCat: “I’ve definitely never seen anything like what she’s planning - I can’t wait for this!”

Sumire: “I won’t let you down!”

newmascotresized: With that, let’s go right into the palace.

Fox: “Rather fortuitous that we tried out the console we found in Mementos - now we can proceed.”

Sumire: “Okay! Let’s go, Senpai!”

newmascotresized: The second half of Maruki’s palace is very much a Persona 1 or Persona 2 dungeon… but without the robust auto-battle options that stopped Avidya World or Xibalba from being unplayably bad.

newmascotresized: I get Akechi’s new finisher screen and then immediately dump him.

newmascotresized: As soon as we’re down the starting hallway, Morgana lets us know about a will seed. Unfortunately, before we can do anything…

Oracle: “Let’s take a closer peek!”

newmascotresized: Oh, I know! Is it… being an effective villain? Having a single coherent vision for what his dream world actually is? Writing quality? I feel like it’s writing quality.

Skull: “Gaaah, it talked! Ahem… but that’s not the part that matters now. What’s it talkin’ about, Doc losin’ something? Is this some kinda riddle?”

Oracle: “That’s a security question, like when you reset a password - only the one person’s supposed to know the answers. That’s how you end up with private information being used like a key.”

newmascotresized: …We’re breaking into Maruki’s email. Got it.

MorganaCat: “I see. So, we need information on Maruki’s life… well, this is his own Palace. I bet we’ll find some clues to the answer if we look around thoroughly enough.”

Skull: “Alright, if that’s the plan, let’s get to clue huntin’!”

newmascotresized: This part of the dungeon sucks for much the same reason that the final area in the base game did - there’s enemies we can’t insta-kill who have no weaknesses and are more of an annoyance than a challenge.

New Persona: Alilat

Origin: Kingdom of Nabatea

First Appearance: Soul Hackers

Mother goddess of several countries in the Middle East, most prominently of the Nabateans, a nomadic people who ranged from what is now Yemen to Gaza. Was one of a trio of gods worshiped in Mecca before Islam, and was thought to reside in the Kaaba (hence the in-game model).

image

newmascotresized: Alilat is a passable ice Persona if you don’t have Satan for some reason.

newmascotresized: We already know who Rumi is from Maruki’s confidant… and logically, this SHOULD be enough to tell you what the answer is to get through the door. Unfortunately, it’s not.

Violet: “What could this be…? A diary…?”

BlackMask: “Looks like it. Judging from what was written inside, it’s most likely Maruki’s…”

Fox: “It seems like he has written about things in the past, but it looks like they are only fragments of them…”

MorganaCat: “Doesn’t look like it has any meaning to it either. Not sure if it’ll come in handy for the investigation, but let’s hold on to it and see if we can find other ones.”

newmascotresized: The only reason we came in here is for this vent.

newmascotresized: The vent leads to another room where you can jump across a bunch of platforms to reach the first will seed.

newmascotresized: This door is on the other side of the area from where we found the will seed, and it’s where we need to go to progress.

newmascotresized: At this point, I’m actively running from battles because they all suck.

newmascotresized: Remember how Innocent Sin had those dungeons with cutscene rooms? Guess what this is.

BlackMask: “The entire Palace has been rather bizarre, but this room is rather strange in its own way.”

Oracle: “A CRT TV, huh? Talk about old school. Look, it’s even got a built-in VCR.”

Skull: “Hmmm… maybe we’ve gotta watch some TV first?”

Panther: “I highly doubt that.”

Fox: “Actually… there’s a chance he’s right. There appears to be a tape by the VCR.”

BlackMask: “Well, it appears we don’t have any choice but to watch the tape, do we? Of course, it could possibly just be a trap.”

newmascotresized: This is so low-effort it hurts. Remember in Innocent Sin how the cutscene rooms had ghosts in them, and the party’s watching events unfold around them? Why the fuck didn’t they do that here?

Panther: “Nothing’s happening.”

Noir: “It’s making some strange noises - could it be broken?”

Violet: “Do you think we should try whacking it?”

Morgana: “Uh, please don’t…”

Queen: “Oh, it’s playing - stay on guard, everyone.”

Maruki: “Sorry I came empty-handed… I’ve just been so busy with the research lately, I haven’t had the chance to pick up any part-time work… I know - I’ll buy you flowers the next time I come.”

Maruki: “Do you remember that wildflower field we use to go to, back in high school? You really loved it there, didn’t you? Oh - would you prefer if I brought you some snacks instead?”

newmascotresized: Do you remember the TYPO COUNTER? Seriously, “we use to go to”?

Maruki: “Which should I bring, sweet or salty? I know you like both, so… actually, I have some news for you today. So, first: I’ve finished my paper. The other thing is…”

newmascotresized: Rumi’s model might look familiar - that’s because she’s a reskinned Kawakami, from that one confidant event where you meet Kawakami in the hospital.

Maruki: “Of course, that doesn’t mean everything’s over and done with, but things are going to proceed as they ought to.”

Rumi: “…”

Maruki: “Everyone comprehends the world in a different way, depending on their cognition… so basically, if one could tap into a person’s ‘cognitive world’… one would be able to alter how that person views reality - in every way.”

newmascotresized: Thank you, writers. Truly, I would not have known what cognitive psience is, having not just played some 95 hours of the base game, where it’s explained several times.

Maruki: “…That’s what my paper’s all about. Heh, here I am, going way over your head with this stuff just like always…”

Rumi: “…”

Maruki: “But anyway - I’ve recently met soemone who thinks my research could be fruitful. If everything moves forward as planned, they may even fund my work. At that point, I’d be the first professional ‘psientist’ in the world.”

Maruki: “My goal is to find a way to stop crime by putting my research into action. Many of the criminals in this world are deluded to the point of seeing everything through a distorted lens…”

newmascotresized: Okay so here’s what I don’t get, right? Maruki clearly dated her long enough that he gives a shit that she’s in some kind of PTSD coma, but never explained what it is he does to her at any point?

newmascotresized: I also don’t get what the point of explaining this is. We already KNOW what Maruki wants - or rather, we don’t. We know he wants either a world without pain or a world where everyone’s dreams come true. One of those.

Maruki: “If I could change their cognitions, it would stop them from committing crimes before they even considered them. And if I were to succeed… the things that happened to you would never happen to anyone else again.”

Rumi: “…”

Maruki: “I want to save you… no, not just you - I want to save the whole world with my cognitive psience! Well… at least I know your family would appreciate it.”

Maruki: “Rumi! It’s me. Are you all right? Can you talk?”

Rumi: “Takuto… Fa…mily…”

Maruki: “…!”

newmascotresized: If this was competently written, it could’ve been a good scene… except it’s not.

Maruki: “Rumi!? Rumi! It’s okay… calm down…”

Rumi: “Give them back! Give me my mom and dad…”

Maruki: “…!”

Maruki: “Guh! These migraines are… dammit… don’t worry, someone’s coming to help!”

Maruki: “Phrasing… I’m so sorry, Rumi… it’s all my fault. Deep down, I knew… I could end all crime across the world - it still wouldn’t bring your family back. What you truly need is to be set free from that horrible tragedy… but, how can I do that?”

newmascotresized: There’s no way that at some point when writing the script this wasn’t supposed to be Nyarlathotep.

Maruki: “Nngh! What… what was that!?”

Rumi: “Takuto… please… stop this… I… want to… forget…”

Maruki: “Oh - but, wait… by altering a subject’s cognition - by changing their heart - any related trauma is eliminated.”

Maruki: “So, by that logic… all that pain… Rumi’s trauma and everyone else’s… it can be undone!”

Maruki: “Yes… I’ll do it. I don’t care who you may be… lend me your strength! Please… help me save Rumi’s life!”

newmascotresized: You know what game did the whole “guy makes deal with demon to revive his dead wife” thing better? Koudelka.

Maruki: “What was that!? Rumi! Are you okay!?”

Rumi: “Um… I’m really sorry, but I don’t know who you are.”

Maruki: “Rumi? What do you mean?”

Rumi: “I’ve just gone through surgery… ever since I was born, I’ve been unwell. I lost my parents when I was young, so I live with my grandparents in the countryside now.”

Maruki: “When you were… young? You can’t… it’s me, Rumi! Don’t you remember me?”

Rumi: “Um… I really am sorry, but I have no idea what you’re talking about. Well, I’m going to be discharged from here pretty soon, now that I’ve finished my last round of surgery.”

Rumi: “I can’t wait to see my grandparents again and show them how well I’ve recovered.”

newmascotresized: God this is so fucking awkwardly written! Fuck! “Oh hello stranger, let me explain my life story to you.”

Maruki: “This is… were her memories actually revised? Wait… was that voice really…”

newmascotresized: You know, I take back all those times I shouted about “Show, don’t tell” because this sucks.

Rumi: “Um… are you all right?”

Maruki: “That’s absurd… how could something like- oh! I mean… it’s nothing. I’m just glad you’re doing better now. She remembers nothing of the incident. So, for Rumi…”

newmascotresized: This is how the dialog actually is. It’s tilted as fuck and should have been two scenes, one without Rumi in it. I get that Maruki is an awkward character, but… fuck.

Rumi: “By the way, what are you doing in my room? How do you know my name?”

Maruki: “Oh. Well, I’m… ah… sorry. I mistook you for someone else.”

Rumi: “Another person?”

newmascotresized: So wait, you explain your fucking life story first, and then ask how he knows your name and what he’s doing here? What the fuck is this shit?

Maruki: “Yeah, my… my girlfriend’s name is Rumi, too.”

Rumi: “Really? That’s so nice to hear.”

Maruki: “Yeah…”

Rumi: “…?”

Maruki: “Looks like I really messed up finding the right room - I really am sorry to disturb you.”

Rumi: “Um… so, I know this might sound odd, but if you’d like to meet again sometime…”

Maruki: “Thank you for the offer, but… I’m sorry. I’m going to be getting busier than ever soon, so I don’t believe we’ll be meeting again.”

Rumi: “Really? But, what about your girlfriend?”

newmascotresized: Wandering into someone’s hospital room looking for your apparently dead girlfriend? Totally normal. Nothing weird about that at all.

newmascotresized: I can’t tell if them forgetting the portrait here was intentional or not.

Morgana: “Yeah, I’m pretty sure it was.”

BlackMask: “Based on what we’ve seen, we can surmise that Dr. Maruki’s memory was somehow on that videotape.”

newmascotresized: Akechi has been reduced to stating the fucking obvious. I wonder if they gave him this role to make people hate Makoto less.

Violet: “The way that woman was acting at the end… that’s just how it went for me, too…”

Queen: “So he rewrote her cognition…”

BlackMask: “Considering what he was saying in the video, that might have been the moment he first awakened to his ability.”

newmascotresized: There’s no reason why Maruki’s Persona works outside of the metaverse, other than that the writers seem to have forgotten that this isn’t Persona 2.

Violet: “Could Dr. Maruki possibly have wanted us to watch this memory?”

Morgana: “Eh, I don’t think that’s the case… it’s possible that this is just an old memory he tried to bury in his unconscious mind.”

BlackMask: “Still, if this actually occurred, there’s no mistaking it for a trivial memory - this is clearly important to Maruki.”

Fox: “Whether for good or bad, it appears that this incident is what led Dr. Maruki to his correct mission…”

Noir: “You’re right.”

newmascotresized: There’s a couple of locked chests in this dungeon, but we need none of them.

BlackMask: “I know the answer after watching that video… I assume you know as well? You can do the honors.”

Skull: “Aw yeah! Nailed it!”

Fox: “It’s quite thorough… and it seems that we still have a long way to go.”

Panther: “Maruki Cognitive Psience Laboratory…”

Skull: “This Palace is a lab!?”

BlackMask: “You really hadn’t figured that out yet? Given Maruki’s past and the Palace’s appearance we’ve seen so far, it wasn’t difficult to deduce.”

Skull: “Shuddup! This place is just so weird that I didn’t bother thinkin’ about it yet! You get me, don’t you, Akira!?”

Skull: “…For real?”

BlackMask: “A Palace’s appearance is based on what its ruler thinks of someone or something. In Takuto Maruki’s case, he must think of this stadium as a laboratory.”

Skull: “Yeah, I get that part - but why the stadium, of all places?”

Violet: “Oh… that reminds me of something I heard a while ago. Before starting construction on the stadium, there were apparently plans to build some kind of research facility. I wonder, could it have anything to do with that…?”

BlackMask: “It’s possible, but for now, we should focus on progress in the Palace rather than trying to answer questions.”

Skull: “Doesn’t this look like some kinda research facility to you now?”

newmascotresized: Next time, we’ll see more cutscenes, get psychologically evaluated, call Salty Vanilla because I had a brilliant idea for a Yusu-Gay, and then finish this palace.

It’d be nice one way or the other if the monkey’s paw healing his friend at the cost of her memories of him convinced Maruki that any sacrifice is worthwhile or showing that leading to him trying to manage everyone’s lives. But I’m already pre-disappointed.

Also I don’t know what I was meant to feel seeing Akechi in his goofy edgelord armor declaring “I DECIDE THE TRUTH” but I don’t think I’m feeling what was intended.

Parsing out P5’s tone and atmosphere would be the work of a more dedicated scholar than me. Back before P5 had come out, the trailers and other pre-release material felt to me kind of unsettling, even disturbing (in a good way). And some of the early finisher screens, like Joker’s, bear that out (it seems unintentional, but “The Show’s Over” next to a masked man evokes Phantom of the Opera to me). As you get later into the game, and especially by the time P5R has rolled around, I think the people in charge of aesthetics (if no one else) have figured out that we’re here to have a goof. Or whatever the JRPG equivalent of having a goof is.

Click Here for Update 113

newmascotresized: Let’s go into the next part of Maruki’s palace. You can see a save room off to the side, which we’ll ignore for the time being. This area is kind of a mini-SEBEC building, in that it has lots of stairs.

newmascotresized: This area is full of enemies. What we’re trying to do is go through all of these rooms to get to the front door, which we can use to get to the second floor.

newmascotresized: Just like the SEBEC building, this floor has multiple disconnected staircases.

Oracle: “That room’s giving off a unique reading compared to the others in the area - it might be like the video room we found. Will you try checking that out? It could turn up some clues.”

Oracle: “Although, it looks like it doesn’t open from this side, so we’re gonna have to go the long way around.”

BlackMask: “I agree with Navi. It may not be a direct route to the Treasure, but it’s definitely something. We should make that room our goal as we progress.”

newmascotresized: The door we need is on the side, and that means we have to go through the rest of this floor to get to it.

newmascotresized: There’s a will seed after the first staircase, but no obvious way to get there - the door is locked.

newmascotresized: Several rooms full of enemies later, we wind up at the next cutscene room. Have I mentioned there’s four of these? No, really.

newmascotresized: As I write this, I’ve already finished recording for the actual game content. I still haven’t done the Valentine’s Day, White Day, or Christmas Eve dates.

newmascotresized: You might ask “Do you have a Yusu-Gay for Valentine’s Day and White Day” and the answer is of course I do, what do you take me for?

MorganaCat: “I don’t like the idea of spying on somebody’s past, but we clearly don’t have a choice in the matter. If watching this is our ticket forward, then I guess that’s what we’re doing.”

Shibusawa: “You’ve come so far… what problem could they possibly have now!?”

Maruki: "I tried negotiating in person with the professor and the investors, but they simply wouldn’t listen… ‘due to the lack of concrete evidence, all further research and funding in the field of cognitive psience will cease.’ "

Maruki: “They told me it’s already over and done with. But, why now of all times? When they first saw my paper, they were positively beaming with excitement!”

newmascotresized: This is borderline Allanson dialog. “I lost all my funding - that means it’s over and done with”.

Shibusawa: “And the research lab in Odaiba… they’re not going through with that anymore?”

Maruki: “Yep… Dammit… to hell with their ‘concrete evidence’! How are we supposed to get any evidence if we can’t perform the research first? If we can change the cognition of trauma victims, their suffering can be eliminated…”

Maruki: “Who knows how many people could be saved with this research… how much more obvious could its benefits be?”

Shibusawa: “So… do you really think the lack of evidence is the reason they shut it all down?”

Maruki: “… It makes absolutely no sense to me. After all the time and money spend… to just cut off my research because it wasn’t all proven sound immediately…”

Shibusawa: “I see… so, what’re you gonna do now? The sponsors have backed out, so I doubt the college is gonna let you keep using their labs…”

Maruki: “I’m done with that college. They have nothing for me at this point. I’ll look for work elsewhere while I keep fleshing out that research paper. Eventually, I’ll prove the existence of the cognitive world… once I’ve done that, no one will be able to complain.”

newmascotresized: Maruki has drank so many beers that he can now enter the cognitive world.

Maruki: “I swear I’m going to do it. I have the power now… it cost me my life with you… so I’m going to rescue everyone from their pain… I don’t care how long it takes me…”

Queen: “Yes, I believe so. It seemed to be a much more recent memory than the first one we saw, though…”

Oracle: “His research was cut off…”

BlackMask: “So, after the incident with his girlfriend, he progressed in his research to harness cognitive psience as a healing practice… however, his research was shut down, and his career along with it.”

newmascotresized: Yes thank you I think we all saw the cutscene where Maruki stated the same thing twice.

BlackMask: “All he had left was his resolve to prove his research valid, then use it to save people… that seems to be the message delivered by the videos we’ve found.”

Violet: “It must have been his dream… to use his research to save people here…”

newmascotresized: OKAY YES I FUCKING GET IT! FUCK!

BlackMask: “If that sounds good to you, would you prefer we just turn around and go home?”

Noir: “…That isn’t an option.”

Skull: “Yeah, what she says. If anything, we’ve gotta pull out all the stops to win this one.”

Violet: “Well, the vote was unanimous.”

newmascotresized: On our way back down, we get a grappling hook sound that I was too busy running from enemies to take a shot of.

newmascotresized: The grappling hook brings us to an oversized rafter with a vent at the end.

newmascotresized: We can then smash this window, which leads us back around to the will seed.

newmascotresized: All we have to do from there is unlock the door from this side and go downstairs to the Maruki door.

Violet: “Yes! It opened!”

BlackMask: “Oh, come on… is the next question going to be ‘What’s Maruki’s favorite snack’ or something?”

newmascotresized: Now that we’re done with that bullshit, let’s go do the only good part of this dungeon, because it feels a LOT like a Snow Queen dungeon.

Fox: “This is quite the change in environment. Where are we now?”

Panther: “An exam room? Like… a hospital exam room?”

Noir: “Perhaps? What an odd place. The Shadows here aren’t attacking us. Don’t they want to stop us?”

Fox: “Strange as it may be, they do not seem hostile to us at all… furthermore, I admit I’m curious as to what this ‘exam’ entails. Joker, perhaps we can talk to these Shadows and gather some useful information.”

newmascotresized: As soon as I saw this room, I had an idea for a Yusu-Gay and paused recording to talk to Salty Vanilla.

Fox: “…Allowing intruders to proceed? How odd.”

BlackMask: “They must be awfully confident in their ‘exam’ techniques - at any rate, such progression should work in our favor. We should make sure we get our act straight for this.”

newmascotresized: There is exactly one way they could’ve made this better, and that would be by having an option to attack the shadow and fight your way through immediately.

BlackMask: “And what exactly comprises these examinations?”

newmascotresized: I’m going to skip some of the explanation, but this is basically Tokyo Destinyland from SMT 1. You touch the panel in the center, get the question, and then take an elevator based on your answer.

newmascotresized: Wait, what!? A missable reward, in what’s admittedly not the easiest puzzle in the game!? Holy fuck, is this… is this game design?

Queen: “So, all we have to do is choose the answer we believe to be correct. Although I’m hesitant to find out what they mean by ‘treatment’…”

Oracle: “Examine a person’s heart, find their pain and regret, then distort their cognition… this is just the Palace version of what Dr. Maruki does in real life.”

Panther: “Buuut, if we make a mistake, does that mean they’re going to change our cognitions?”

Oracle: “That’s probably confined to the real world - here, they probably mess with people’s heads some other way. Like, maybe they hook you up to some machine and just BZZZZZT!”

Skull: “Hey! Don’t scare me like that!”

Queen: “Well, whatever form his treatment takes, I’m sure we want no part of it for ourselves. Standing here attempting to imagine it won’t do us any good, though. Let’s take the exam and see where we wind up.”

newmascotresized: Wait a second. Is this a reference to Persona 1? A is basically the SEBEC route, where you go with Nanjo to save Mark… and then B is Snow Queen.

newmascotresized: My god. Maybe there’s hope for Persona 6 after all.

Panther: “Huh? Neither answer is wrong, though…”

Oracle: “Yeah, but this is a medical exam, not a school one. They’re trying to figure out whether or not you need treatment. So, maybe go with the answer that you think Dr. Maruki would pick?”

Panther: “So we have to try and figure out which one Dr. Maruki would pick? Oooh, this is gonna be hard…”

Morgana: “It’s hard to be sure of anything whatsoever right now… why don’t we try asking some of these other patients around here?”

Morgana: “They may only be cognitive beings, but they still have to take the exam just like we do. Maybe they can help us figure out which answer’s right.”

Oracle: “I’m with Mona. Besides, if you try and fail, at least you gave it a shot. Although, I’m not opposed to just plowing our way through the whole exam, but… if you refuse their treatment regimen, whatever it is, they’re not gonna take that lying down.”

newmascotresized: Futaba sums it up. Going the wrong way gets us a random encounter, and fuck those. We’re going to do this the right way, if only because the wrong way is boring and also I accidentally overwrote the save I made before this part.

newmascotresized: Anyway, there’s two NPCs we can talk to. They’re not incredibly helpful, and I’m going to cut some of their dialog in the interest of time.

Skull: “So you’re the type to ask others for help. I mean, that ain’t wrong, but don’t you ever think to yourself, ‘I wanna help them’?”

newmascotresized: The red text here is entirely to throw you off. In fact, this entire dialog is kinda pointless because Akechi will basically tell you what the answer is, but you’re forced to do it anyway.

Noir: “So it’s your consideration for others that made you choose ‘B’. Well, thank you for your time.”

newmascotresized: And here’s the NPC for Answer A.

Fox: “Is there a reason you didn’t even hesitate?”

newmascotresized: This bit of red text is far more helpful, and gives us another way of looking at the problem: what if it’s not about what happens to the friend, but to you?

Panther: “Yeah… stuff like that can make you feel totally horrible…”

Skull: “Even if it ends up hurtin’, it’s still better to go with whatever choice you won’t regret later. ‘A’ sounds like the right answer to me.”

Queen: “Now we know both sides of the story.”

Skull: “But neither one’s exactly wrong, right? I kinda get where they’re both comin’ from.”

Queen: “What matters is which one Dr. Maruki thinks is wrong. Why don’t we collect our thoughts somewhere and talk out our answer?”

newmascotresized: I’m going to skip some dialog here because Makoto repeats an overview of the whole test process. Of course she fucking does, she’s THE SMART GIRL.

newmascotresized: HOLD IT! That Rorschach thing above Akechi’s head… isn’t that Goatse? That’s totally fucking Goatse!

newmascotresized: We have three options. The top one is a recap of what we just heard. The second one has Akechi outright tell us what the answer is. The third one lets you immediately skip discussion. Yes, you can do that, and I’m VERY glad they let you.

Fox: “Risking yourself to help your friend or take the time to find dependable help… determining which choice is incorrect is quite difficult.”

newmascotresized: It’s actually real easy if you’ve ever taken even a high school level philosophy course. Maruki’s entire point of view is what we’d call “Utilitarian”, and what he’s asking us to do is Hedonistic Calculus.

newmascotresized: Hedonistic Calculus is an idea coined by an 18th-century philosopher by the name of Jeremy Bentham. Bentham was… kind of a dipshit. His stuffed corpse is on display in University College London, because he wanted himself to be useful even in death. No, I’m not making that up.

newmascotresized: Anyway, hedonistic calculus can best be summed up as “pleasure good, pain bad”, and is (theoretically) something we’re all doing unconsciously all the time.

Queen: “And neither choice guarantees your friend’s safety, if you think about it. Neither option seems any more successful than the other when it comes to helping your friend…”

Skull: “Hm? Whaddya mean?”

newmascotresized: In this case, the hedonistic calculus isn’t about seeking pleasure, but about avoiding pain - both outcomes have a chance at giving you happiness… but only one guarantees you never experience pain.

Skull: “Uhhh… great, Joker! You’ve totally got this!”

Morgana: “I guess he’s done thinking it over… but we should have enough information to make a wise decision. That part’s up to you, Joker.”

newmascotresized: The correct answer is B.

Morgana: “No bad news so far… I guess that really was the right answer.”

Skull: “So it’s better to just run from some shit than to try an’ help? I don’t buy that…”

Queen: “Maybe it means Maruki believes it best to find a way to avoid being hurt.”

newmascotresized: The rewards for the three questions are single-stat buffs in item form. They’re not useful when we’ve got Yusuke’s final ability and Thermopylae.

Noir: “Let’s find out what we’re dealing with this time.”

newmascotresized: I’m going to go ahead and say that this question doesn’t really work. You’ll know what the answer is almost immediately, but it doesn’t work given the version of Maruki that made it into the final game.

newmascotresized: For the rest of these questions, I’m going to use Maruki’s dialog portrait to represent the computer or whatever that’s actually giving the question because these get kinda long.

Maruki: “You have a personal dream that you really, really want to make come true. You’ve worked so hard to achieve it… but it’s just not coming to fruition.”

Maruki: “It’s causing you a lot of grief, but if you were to give up now, all of your hard work is sure to be for nothing! Which would you do in this situation?”

Maruki: “A. Keep up the hard work.”

Maruki: “B: Do whatever it takes.”

Maruki: “C: Give up for a new dream.”

Fox: “Hmm… we don’t know enough to make a decision. We should gather information.”

newmascotresized: Here’s the problem I have with this question. It would work fine if all Maruki wanted was “a world without pain” as opposed to “a world where everyone’s dreams come true”.

newmascotresized: The problem is that I knew immediately that the answer is C, but it doesn’t really make sense given that we know Maruki thinks anyone whose dreams don’t come true needs his help.

newmascotresized: The other problem is that we know Maruki faced this exact question when his lab funding got taken away, and his answer was B. I mean, he overwrote reality to save his girlfriend.

newmascotresized: Now, you could argue that this is a subtext thing where the writers are trying to say that Maruki thinks he’s fucked up, but I don’t think they were going for that - nor do I think they’re competent enough to.

newmascotresized: Anyway, let’s get on to the NPC dialog. As before, I’m going to try and cut it down to the salient points.

Panther: “What do you mean? Don’t you want to make your dream come true?”

newmascotresized: It’s like this is the developers trying to explain why Royal sucks so much.

newmascotresized: GOD DAMMIT! FUCK! Yes it would have! If the goddamn developers had put the bare fucking minimum of effort into this content instead of “here’s half a dungeon followed by hours of randomly-generated filler” this might have actually been a good game!

Fox: “I personally believe that pursuing something is a wonderful thing… I suppose it depends on the person.”

Morgana: “So, he’s avoiding dreams that might not come true because it’s easier? It’s not the worst advice, but still…”

newmascotresized: Let’s move on to the NPC for Option B.

Fox: “So you’re doing it for the money…”

newmascotresized: I feel called out.

Oracle: “Oh, so he’s flame baiting - saying outrageous stuff just for the attention.”

Skull: “Sooo, all this stuff you’re goin’ on about… basically, it boils down to you talkin’ shit about other people for money, yeah?”

Queen: “I don’t know how I should feel about all this - you spread negativity, but it’s not entirely for personal gain.”

newmascotresized: I mean, I spread negativity because all the good games have already been LPed.

Skull: “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just go already.”

newmascotresized: And now on to the NPC for Option A. Something I didn’t find out until the next question is that you can cheat here if you want - there’s a thing you can climb that lets you see into a window that leads into where the elevator for Option A goes. There’s a shadow there, so you’ll know it’s the wrong answer.

Violet: “Does that mean you have a dream already?”

Violet: “But, but - working hard towards your dream is healthy!”

Violet: “Thank you so much! I hope you make it big soon!”

newmascotresized: As before, I’ll do the second option.

Morgana: “So the question is, what do you do when you’re working hard but still can’t make your dream come true? Let’s think from Maruki’s point of view.”

Violet: “Well, in that case… Dr. Maruki isn’t just caring - he’s willing to speak up when something’s not right, too. When one of the higher-ups at the school threatened my honors status over my tournament results…”

newmascotresized: Yes, we know. We were there.

Violet: “Dr. Maruki had my back the whole time. So, I don’t think he would be okay with using a method that would bring harm to someone else.”

Noir: “Even now, he’s trying to save everyone by giving us a reality where we’re all happy…”

Morgana: “With that in mind… that would leave us with either 'A: Keep up the hard work,” or "C: Give up and find a new dream.’ "

Queen: “If the last question is anything to go by, the correct answer’s the one where you don’t risk hurting yourself. It may help to bear that in mind.”

Violet: “Keep pursuing the dream or give it up… which one would hurt more?”

Violet: “I guess we were right, but… I’m not sure how I feel about that.”

Fox: “It’s not that we agree with you - we were just trying to avoid the wrong answer.”

Violet: “Dr. Maruki thinks people should give up on their dreams?”

BlackMask: “More accurately, he thinks people shouldn’t cause themselves pain in their pursuit of dreams. Something to that effect. This exam is likely intended to filter out people who are inclined to do such a thing.”

newmascotresized: That kind of logic is how you get things like the Big Bullshit Puzzle in Gabriel Knight 3.

Skull: “My brain can’t take this shit anymore… can we just pick a random elevator and be done with this shit?”

Queen: “I understand how you feel, but we can’t give up before we’ve even tried. Come on, let’s see what our question is.”

Maruki: “Welcome back yet again! Let’s move on to the third question. You’ve gained the power to steal people’s hearts! Thoughts, emotions, information… you can steal all of it from anyone in the world!”

Maruki: “Not only that, you can use this power without fear of ever getting caught! In this scenario, which sounds closest to what you would do?”

Skull: “What the - ? Is this question about us? Well, obviously, it’s D! Let’s roll.”

newmascotresized: This question is kinda bullshit. The first two answers set a precedent that the goal is to avoid pain at all costs, but this one’s using a different kind of hedonistic calculus - specifically the kind that’s been used as a justification for torture. I don’t know if there’s a name for it, but I call it the “Jack Bauer” interpretation of Utilitarianism.

newmascotresized: The reasoning goes like this. Jack Bauer arrests a bad guy (as opposed to immediately shooting them and everyone else in a 5-mile radius because Jack Bauer is a psychopath) who is planning on blowing up a building full of people.

newmascotresized: Under this interpretation, Jack Bauer is perfectly justified in torturing the bad guy because the bad guy’s unhappiness at being tortured is outweighed by the people in the building not being bombed - and if you take it to an extreme, this is still true even if the information gained from the torture wouldn’t necessarily directly save anyone; so long as there’s a chance that it would, it’s justified.

newmascotresized: The answer is D, because in this case the potential pain of a small group is worth it if it saves society. It works for hedonistic calculus, but doesn’t really fit with Maruki’s MO - especially given that the key thing in the prior question is that causing someone else pain is unacceptable.

Morgana: “Actually USE your brain! You’re not even trying!”

BlackMask: “So, the conditions this time are that we won’t be caught, and that we can only choose one use for our ability. We should bear those in mind as we consider our answer.”

Skull: “Hey! Raggin’ on Mona ain’t cool!”

Morgana: “Yeah, thanks, but uh, I don’t think I was the one being insulted there…”

newmascotresized: There are only two NPCs here you can talk to - and a third one you can spy on.

newmascotresized: We can grapple up here to cheat.

Noir: “That’s where the elevator leads, right?”

BlackMask: “Well, they did call it an Exam Room. They could very well be monitoring the psychological state of every ‘patient’ in the room.”

Panther: “You mean they might’ve been watching us this whole time!? That’s so creepy…”

Morgana: " ‘Creepy’ is right - I just wish there was some way we could benefit from this…"

Oracle: "I don’t think this this is the right one. She answered, ‘E: Steal the one I love’s heart.’ "

Panther: " ‘Happiness gained by depriving others of their own is unhappiness…’ I have no idea what he means by that."

newmascotresized: There’s two more NPCs we can talk to, one for Option A and one for Option B. I’m going to skip the one for Option A because it’s exactly the same logic as Option E as to why it’s wrong.

Noir: “You must care quite a bit for them.”

Skull: “Family’s important n’ all, but don’tcha wanna like, do something big with your life?”

BlackMask: “It doesn’t do anyone any harm, and on top of that, there aren’t any big risks involved. If those are all the relevant factors, then this guy seems to be on the level - but it all depends on what Maruki would think.”

newmascotresized: My main problem with this question is that I can’t figure out why B would be the wrong answer, other than that this question operates on Jack Bauer logic.

newmascotresized: I don’t know if I missed something or what, but there’s no “Let’s find an answer” option here.

Violet: “I guess we passed without them finding any abnormalities… what a relief.”

Skull: “But, what’s he mean, ‘fulfilled’? He doesn’t even get that we just picked all the answers we knew they’d wanna hear!”

Queen: “Shut up, Skull…!”

Oracle: “Whoooa, so sci-fi!”

BlackMask: “Well, had we failed the psychological exam, they would have ‘treated’ us… since our answers were satisfactory, I suppose we were brought to this passageway instead.”

Panther: “Uhhh, okay, just… be careful.”

newmascotresized: So… wait. What was the whole point of the quiz if they have a brain detector hallway?

Skull: “What!? Who’re you callin’ ‘abnormal’ here!? We passed your stupid test an’ everything!”

Oracle: “Buuuut, we weren’t answering honestly. We’re gonna be seen as abnormal no matter what, considering we’re here to stop Maruki and all.”

Skull: “But that means we can’t get past here no matter what! Agh, dammit! I’m findin’ a way past this thing even if it kills me!”

newmascotresized: The way past is, of course, a vent not even five feet from the hallway.

Oracle: “Whooooa, look at those freaky machines they’re wearing!”

BlackMask: “Well, we came here from the Exam Room, so… it logically follows that this is the Counselling Room, and those people are…”

Skull: “THAT’S what ‘treatment’ is!? It sure as hell don’t look like it to me!”

newmascotresized: And of course it’s a fucking Clockwork Orange thing because the writers are fucking lazy.

Oracle: "Eh, don’t sweat it too much - they’re all cognitive beings. Let’s just keep moving.’

newmascotresized: Beyond the Clockwork Orange room is another cutscene room, except…

newmascotresized: This area has two ways you can go - you can take the stairs to where the video is, or go straight on the lower level to get to the Plot Door. Let me just say that I fucking HATE this part of the dungeon.

Skull: “Hey, those are some scary-lookin’ Shadows - make sure we don’t get caught.”

Oracle: “Looks like we’ve got Shadows patrolling the area… make sure no one sneaks up on us while we hunt down that videotape.”

newmascotresized: I’m not sure if this is randomized or not, but given that nothing else in the game is, I doubt it. Anyway, this area has a bottom ring that’s full of Fafnirs and a top catwalk you can use to get over them.

newmascotresized: This is supposed to be a stealth segment, but because we have a near-guaranteed run chance due to Hifumi’s confidant, we can just ignore most of that.

newmascotresized: Each one of these rooms has a single blue box. All but one of them contain a useless support item. Naturally, the video was in the last room I checked.

newmascotresized: For reference, it’s the first room to the left from where you enter.

newmascotresized: There’s an SP recovery item in this chest, reached through a hook point in the Chamber of Bullshit. We’re going to do the miniboss next instead of going right to the video room, just so you can see why I hate this fucking area.

newmascotresized: The miniboss is Surt, who we fused earlier to get… was it Sandalphon? I forget. Anyway, he’s another annoying blob of HP with no weaknesses.

newmascotresized: This fight sucks because Surt is either immune or resistant to everything the party members can do to him. Having bosses that resist physical in a game where half of the party members are either pure physical or hybrid physical is fucking terrible design.

newmascotresized: Surt drains Fire, nulls Elec, and resists Physical and Nuclear.

newmascotresized: I didn’t even bother changing party members, because at this point the party members are kinda obsolete. The only things that are going to do damage here are Sumire and Akechi, but even they’re not going to help much due to most of their damage being physical.

newmascotresized: Joker does nothing but use Concentrated spells with Satan while everyone else empties their guns into him.

Violet: “Whew… we did it! Everything going on here is… so bizarre, though.”

Fox: “Changing people’s cognitions and rewriting their realities as happy ones… he may consider this a form of treatment, but I would assuredly decline such a procedure for myself.”

Queen: “…Let’s move out. We need to stop Dr. Maruki.”

newmascotresized: Now that we’ve done this dumbass fight, let’s see what question the Plot Door has for us.

newmascotresized: Let me tell you EXACTLY how this should have worked. There should’ve been a thing where if you come right here and fight the miniboss, Sumire steps forward and answers this for you.

newmascotresized: Make it like the cheating bit in the last segment, where they can ignore the videotape altogether (or maybe have it spawn beyond this door if you really want to see the cutscene).

Fox: “I’ll wager this much: it won’t be pleasant. Regardless, we should watch it sooner rather than later.”

newmascotresized: I also hate this cutscene because there is one really dumb moment in it.

newmascotresized: Maruki’s like “Hello, you’re my new replacement girlfriend-wife since I broke my last one.”

Maruki: “First of all, thank you for coming to see me.”

Sumire: “Thank you for seeing me… um… I’m sorry, I’m not sure what to discuss… I only came here today because my parents wanted me to.”

Maruki: “That’s fine. So, do you wanna just chat until our time’s up, then?”

newmascotresized: “Oh, you don’t want to be my girlfriend-wife yet. That’s okay, we can work on that.”

Sumire: “Chat, huh…”

Maruki: “Of course. It’s not really possible for us to talk about things you don’t want to discuss, anyway. I’ve also got some sweets and some salty snacks there - feel free to have at them.”

newmascotresized: “They were for my first girlfriend, but she’s brainwashed - sorry, I meant dead. She’s dead and never coming back. The snacks had nothing to do with it, I assure you.”

Sumire: “Oh, yes… thank you so much.”

Maruki: “So let’s start with… ah. How about, what’d you eat for lunch yesterday?”

Sumire: “…”

Maruki: “I’ll go first. The other day, a friend of mine gave me a ton of apples. I’ve grown tired of just eating them by themselves - yesterday, I thought, why not try using them as a meal ingredient?”

Maruki: “So, I tried making an apple dish for lunch, but that didn’t turn out too hot… what do you think I ended up making?”

Sumire: “I… have no clue.”

Maruki: “Shrimp in chili sauce - with apples. You know how sweet-and-sour pork can have pineapple in it? I was going for that, but…”

Sumire: “Sounds like it didn’t work for you. Apples do make for good ingredients, though. If you grate them, you can make a surprisingly versatile sauce. I use it in plenty of my food. It’s pretty nutritious and good for digestion.”

Maruki: “You cook, Yoshizawa-san? I’m impressed that you care so much about nutrition. You must be really on top of things.”

Sumire: “…I’m just active, that’s all. I’m a gymnast. My coach has told me more than once to be conscious of everything I eat.”

Maruki: “I see… how’s practice going for you? Has it been rough lately?”

newmascotresized: It’s like someone told the writers about show don’t tell, but fucked up and turned it into tell, then show, then show again for good measure. Can anyone tell me what the fuck the point of seeing this again is?

newmascotresized: We’ve already seen Maruki brainfuck someone, and we already know what’s going to happen, so… why.

Sumire: “It has been rough… I mean, it’s nothing I can’t handle. But, it’s… not going well. I don’t even know what I want to do anymore.”

Maruki: “Sorry to hear it. Do you enjoy gymnastics?”

newmascotresized: Maruki’s extraterritorial rights are too powerful to let this cutscene end."

Sumire: “…I’m not even sure of that. My… older sister and I made a promise. We’d both compete and win the biggest gymnastics awards in the world. But… she… passed away. She protected me from a car…”

Sumire: “If Kasumi were here instead, I know she’d make her dream come true… only Kasumi could have done it. No matter how long I try to compete, it’s not going to change anything… I’m sorry…”

Maruki: “There’s no need for you to apologize in here. If there’s something you need to get off your chest, please do so.”

Sumire: “…Sometimes, I can’t help but think things would’ve been better if I were Kasumi Yoshizawa. After all… just wishing to make her dream come true does nothing for her in reality…”

Maruki: “Making dreams come true, huh… Well, I don’t think your train of thought is strange at all, Yoshizawa-san. In fact, wanting to become somebody else isn’t necessarily an entirely bad thing.”

newmascotresized: “You could become my girlfriend-wife, just like my last girlfriend-wife, only not dead.”

Sumire: “You… you think so?”

Maruki: “Everyone is capable of changing themselves - your imagination’s your only limit. That’s why, if you aspire to be more like another person, it’s actually possible.”

Maruki: “Thought exercises like ‘Would that person do this?’ or realizations like ‘That person wouldn’t do that…’ these sorts of thoughts can lead people to change themselves in ways that more closely mirror the target person.”

newmascotresized: “Hashino wouldn’t have an original thought here, that’s too much for him. I should replace this with something dumber and maybe rip off an anime or something.”

Sumire: “…”

Maruki: “Can you still imagine what your sister was like?”

Sumire: “Yes…”

Maruki: “If your sister were in your shoes, what do you think she’d do?”

newmascotresized: She’d probably die because that’s how this dumbass sports anime trope works.

Sumire: “Well… she wouldn’t cry. If she had the time to do that, she’d just practice more instead. Dr. Maruki, I… I want to become Kasumi.”

newmascotresized: Kinda wild how this escalated from “I don’t really have much to talk about” to “Hi Maruki, here’s my hopes and dreams” in like five minutes.

Maruki: “…I know. And, I’m sure you can, too. Just… believe in yourself.”

newmascotresized: Is… is that subtext? Oh my god.

Sumire: “…”

Maruki: “How about it? Are you feeling any better now?”

Kasumi: “Yes… I feel like a weight’s been lifted off of me! You’re amazing, Doctor!”

Maruki: “Haha, it’s no big deal. Still, it does seem like my counseling approach does some good after all.”

newmascotresized: And now, I hope you’re ready for this scene to take an immediate dive into the dumpster.

newmascotresized: Of course Sumire carries around a magic “become my sister” ribbon at all times, why wouldn’t she?

newmascotresized: Those glasses being prescription would explain a lot about why she sucks at gymnastics as Kasumi.

Maruki: “Really? I’m very glad to hear it. Feel free to drop by again sometime should anything come up. We can even just have a chat, like today.”

Kasumi: “Thank you. Then we could pick up where we left off talking about - hmm…”

Maruki: “Something the matter?”

Kasumi: “Now that I think about it, I’m not any good at cooking. I don’t know why I said those things earlier… my younger sister’s the one who was really great at it.”

Maruki: “… That’s right, ‘Kasumi Yoshizawa’.”

Kasumi: “…Yes? What is it?”

Maruki: “Oh, nothing. I’m so glad I was able to help you. Good luck with your training.”

Violet: “Yes. It was a counseling session I had with Dr. Maruki. It was just after Kasumi… after my sister passed away. From that moment on, I lived my life really believing I was Kasumi.”

Fox: “It was all due to the rewriting of your cognition - his ‘actualization’, as we’ve started calling it?”

Panther: “Okay, but I’ve been wondering something… so it was only Sumire who believed that she was Kasumi, right? I assumed someone in your family or one of your friends would’ve noticed you going by the wrong name right away…”

Violet: “Well, I can certainly remember being called ‘Kasumi’ by everyone else, too…”

Oracle: “It might be more accurate to say you misheard or misunderstood the name you were being called. Like, everyone kept callin’ you ‘Sumire,’ but your cognition made you hear it as ‘Kasumi’.”

Skull: “So that’s why nobody thought it was weird, including her folks and herself… damn…”

BlackMask: “This must be part of the whole ‘salvation’ nonsense Maruki’s trying to pull over on us.”

Fox: “That memory may have been kept here in video form because he truly does wish for Violet to be happy with life.”

Violet: “I admit, I really did feel saved in that moment when I became Kasumi… but at the same time, I ran from my life as Sumire… I’m genuinely grateful for what Dr. Maruki did for me, but I’m done running.”

newmascotresized: We just did all that dumb shit to answer a question Sumire could’ve answered herself.

Violet: “…We did it. I never thought I’d be the password to someone’s security…”

Fox: “Where… are we?”

BlackMask: “What a change in scenery. We were just in a science lab, and now…”

Fox: “Quite. It’s almost as if we’re in…”

newmascotresized: It’s almost like we’re in Nanako’s dungeon in Persona 4, because the development team figured “Hey, it worked for P4 and everyone liked it, why not do it a second time except without the good theme music”?

Skull: “Whoa! Look over there!”

Violet: “What on earth is going on!?”

BlackMask: “Whatever it is, it most likely has to do with Maruki’s cognition in some way. I’d say he believes anyone who undergoes his ‘treatment’ winds up feeling downright rapturous.”

Morgana: “So he actually thinks he’s sending them to paradise? Hmph. Maruki must really be convinced he’s doing the right thing.”

newmascotresized: The writers are patting themselves on the back for creating such a great villain.

Violet: “Dr. Maruki… Mona-senpai, the Treasure’s above this room, right?”

Morgana: “Yeah, I think we’re pretty close.”

Oracle: “The real problem is actually getting up there.”

Skull: “They got thick-lookin’ vines growin’ outta both sides, too… think we can use those somehow?”

Queen: “We don’t know if they’ll support our weight - I’d rather not take any unnecessary risks. The steps do extend partway upwards, so there should be some method to turn them into safe passageways. At least, that’s what prior Palace experience makes me think.”

newmascotresized: I’m going to skip the game’s explanation of how this stupid puzzle works. It’s essentially a slightly more complex version of the airlock puzzle from Okumura’s dungeon.

newmascotresized: The idea is that each walkway has a color, and is activated so long as its color is turned on. The one thing to know is that combining two colors count as activating both colors AND the combination color.

newmascotresized: In the shot above, I turned Red and Blue on to make Purple. This activates the Red walkways, the Blue walkways, and the Purple ones.

newmascotresized: The second part of the puzzle is vine walls, which activate when their color is activated. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t just kinda fuck around until I got through this. It was like 11 at night.

newmascotresized: We also get introduced to multi-color bridges.

newmascotresized: Shut up, developers.

newmascotresized: The staircase is the end of the area, but there’s a will seed here.

newmascotresized: The will seed miniboss is blocked by three vine walls - meaning you have to turn off all three colors and be on that platform to get to it.

newmascotresized: The blue switch is just off-camera, but you turn off the blue switch, then green, then red.

newmascotresized: Seeing the shadow say that makes me glad I made this a few months ago. I posted it on Twitter but I don’t think I ever posted it here.

newmascotresized: Surprise, it’s a generic-ass fight against a Fafnir.

newmascotresized: Thankfully, the game springs Sumire’s showtime on me and we win the fight pretty quickly.

newmascotresized: Going up the stairs to progress is a matter of turning all the colors on. Anyway, I’m going to cut the update here because we still have a dialog-heavy scene and my PC is starting to lag from how many images are in this thing.

newmascotresized: Next time - more cutscene, the last room decoration, and the last two Mementos requests.

Yeah, nah. We get a lot of goddamn text that I had to struggle to get through instead. That last update made me feel like I was doing YIIK again, where I had to force myself to keep transcribing dialog. I don’t know why the writers even bothered when they were pretty clearly going for The Answer 2.0.

Click Here for Update 114

newmascotresized: Yep, we’re still not done with this stupid dungeon. There’s another cutscene room to our right, so let’s go do that.

BlackMask: “This AGAIN? I really hope it’s the last one.”

Queen: “The tapes seem to be growing more and more recent, though. What do we have in store this time…?”

Maruki: “That’s a comprehensive study on the research you tried to shut down ‘all these years’ ago.”

Maruki: “Oh, this is just a quick visit out of spite. I wanted to show you in person that I had found the ‘concrete evidence’ you had discontinued my research over.”

Maruki: “Ah, no can do, Professor. Cognitive psience has made too great an impact on this world to be abandoned like that.”

Maruki: “The psychotic-breakdown incidents, the sudden changes of heart in adults that the Phantom Thieves claim to make… I’m nearly willing to call these events ‘concrete evidence’ of cognitive psience in action - how about you?”

Maruki: “He seems to be confessing to all sorts of crimes now that the Phantom Thieves have changed his heart. Years ago, Shido took notice of my research, stole it away from me, and made others develop it for his own gain.”

Maruki: “Not only that, he used cognitive psience somehow to induce the politically motivated psychotic breakdowns. Now, you’re heavily involved in that series of events - aren’t you?”

Maruki: “Oh, nothing at all. As I said before, I only came here out of spite. That paper - my work - is going to change the world.”

newmascotresized: I wish Maruki had a fucking spine and was written by writers who also had spines and did not immediately kowtow to the focus groups.

newmascotresized: Metal Gear!?

Maruki: “That paper there’s just the first step. I’ve learned how to change the cognition of not just an individual, but all of humanity! And I WILL do it, no matter how long it takes!”

newmascotresized: God dammit. The line should’ve been “I’m going to change the world. You’re not going to be in it.” and then Maruki fucking kills him.

Maruki: “Huh? You… you don’t see this? The sky just-”

Maruki: “This voice…”

New Persona: Azathoth

Origin: Cthulhu Mythos

First Appearance: Giten Megami Tensei

Ancestor of most of the Cthonic pantheon in the Cthulhu mythos. This includes Nyarlathotep, Cthulhu, and Yog-Sothoth. Yes, this means they gave this dipshit a demon that should have been reserved for a direct sequel to Eternal Punishment. Yes, I am fucking pissed about it.

Maruki: “The other… me? Wait - the realm of mankind’s hearts… are you telling me, this realm is…”

Maruki: “…! That’s it… I… finally get it. To think it’d be so… heheh…”

Maruki: “…Yes. I’ll be on my way. Finally… now, I can finally…”

Fox: “To think he was the one who stymied Dr. Maruki’s research…”

Oracle: “Y’know, I’ve been wondering ever since we saw the earlier video… Do you think there was some connection between my mom’s cognitive psience research and Dr. Maruki’s?”

BlackMask: “After he crushed Maruki’s chance at researching the field, he had his own pawns do it for him instead… although, I doubt Shido’s researchers knew anything about the subject in the way Maruki did.”

BlackMask: “…That sounds exactly like the kind of plan that man would scheme up.”

Skull: “That bastard! …Wait, now’s not the time to get pissed about that.”

Morgana: “There’s another thing about that video nobody’s mentioned yet… that being that appeared near the end was most likely Maruki’s Persona.”

newmascotresized: No shit.

Queen: “If the sky did turn red like that… I wonder if that was the day we fought against the God of Control?”

Morgana: “Lady Lavenza did tell us that reality and Mementos were merged together during that time… as you’ve all seen for yourselves, a full awakening to a Persona can’t happen unless you’re within the Metaverse.”

newmascotresized: Can we please just drop the Dark Hour/TV World/Metaverse bullshit and go back to Persona 2 again for Persona 6, just so I don’t have to listen to another ham-fisted explanation like this again?

Morgana: “That would mean Maruki really did awaken to his Persona in that video.”

Queen: “And at the same time, he attained the ability to meddle with Mementos… the cognition of the masses. So it is just as Lavenza has told us…”

Noir: “The sheer number of coincidences necessary for this to happen is just…”

BlackMask: “At any rate, now we have a better grasp of past events. I’m fairly certain that was a memory Maruki wouldn’t want us to have seen, either.”

Oracle: “Yeah!”

Noir: “We don’t have the time for these questions anyhow. Let’s go!”

Noir: " ‘The day the sky turned red?’ It must be referring to Mementos merging with the real world. We’ll leave the answer to you, Joker."

newmascotresized: By the way, the wiki claims that there were originally going to be TWO MORE cutscene rooms - one where the Treasure is, and a second one that plays when you give Maruki the calling card. Thank fuck those didn’t make it in.

Oracle: “…This is probably the final hurdle. This looks like a tough fight, so make sure everyone’s in peak condition first!”

newmascotresized: The final miniboss is Siegfried, who happens to be the second-highest level Faith Persona. This fight sucks a lot less than the last one did.

newmascotresized: Siegfried starts with Charge and a number of physical skills. He nulls physical and resists gun and ice.

newmascotresized: This means we can simply do the usual buff/concentrate/attack combo for insane amounts of damage. At half HP, Siegfried will switch to much weaker electric spells and Concentrate, but we don’t really see that.

newmascotresized: Naturally, the game gave me a Showtime when the boss was at double-digit health remaining.

newmascotresized: Welcome to the treasure room. The game doesn’t tell you its name yet, but it’s Psientific Model Eden.

Violet: “This is…”

BlackMask: “I assume Maruki’s trying to convey that the world will turn into something like this if we allow him to abuse his research.”

Noir: “A paradise…”

Morgana: “No doubt about it - that’s our Treasure!”

Queen: “That also means we’ve secured our route.”

Skull: “All right! All we got left is sendin’ the calling card - oh, wait. How are we supposed’ta do that this time?”

Noir: “That’s right, Dr. Maruki’s been here in the Palace this entire time, hasn’t he?”

BlackMask: “I’m sure Maruki’s well aware that the Phantom Thieves send out their calling cards the day before their heists.”

BlackMask: “Considering his actions up until now, I highly suspect he’ll attempt to directly intervene in some way that day… my money’s on him trying it with Joker.”

Fox: “Good point. In that case, I’ll leave the calling card in your hands, Joker.”

BlackMask: “We could just set up an ambush and destroy him once he steps in our trap, too.”

Skull: “No way are we doin’ that!”

newmascotresized: The one time I agree with Akechi.

Queen: “Our goal in coming here is to return reality to its original state, not to beat up Dr. Maruki.”

BlackMask: “It was merely a joke. After all, you’re all well-aware that Maruki’s influence on reality goes well beyond this Palace… if we make the wrong move in here, we could get eliminated outside the Palace, since we lack our Personas there.”

BlackMask: “It’d be a safer strategy to change Maruki’s heart, just as you all wish.”

Panther: “We’re finally changing his heart… if we steal Dr. Maruki’s Treasure, everything’ll go back to the way it was, right?”

Morgana: “I don’t know for sure, but most likely.”

Panther: “Yeah! Of course.”

Noir: “We’ve all come so far… we can’t just give up now.”

Skull: “We gotta stick to our own reality.”

Queen: “About the time limit - Dr. Maruki told you it was February 3rd, correct?”

Morgana: “Yeah. He isn’t like anything we’ve faced before… we should get as strong as we can before that fight.”

newmascotresized: Joker promptly tells Futaba to fuck off.

Hiruta: “All diseases of incredible strength. They resist all our cures, and yes, some can even kill… but there’s one disease we do not fear. We even welcome it. Any guesses?”

Hiruta: “It is the disease we call happiness… heh, did you think I was only being dramatic? A scientific study suggested the emotion of happiness spreads in much the same way as a disease does…”

newmascotresized: This is accurate, depending on interpretation. It’s based on data derived from the Framingham Heart Study (which has been running since 1948) from 1977 to the early 2000s .

newmascotresized: The Framingham study is a very large study about cardiovascular health. Part of that study had participants take the CES-D (Center for Epidemiological Studies - Depression Index) test.

newmascotresized: The data on ‘happiness’ was derived from people’s answers to the CES-D. To explain, the CES-D asks you how many times in the last week you’ve felt certain things. Two of those questions are “I felt happy” and “I enjoyed life”, which is probably what they based this on.

newmascotresized: What the meta-study by Harvard Medical found was that people within three degrees of separation had a higher chance of being happy if they knew a happy person (or a person who knows a happy person).

Hiruta: “Now then, Kurusu-kun. How far did this study suggest personal happiness can spread?”

Hiruta: “Wonderful. That’s correct. It would seem your own happiness can indirectly affect the mood of your friend’s friend’s friends. Their finding suggested that happiness is spread through connections and physical proximity.”

newmascotresized: This is also true - the Harvard Medical study showed the effect lessened over distance and with time. I don’t know if they’ve done any follow-up studies on things like Twitter or Facebook.

newmascotresized: But don’t worry, apart from this game being boring and mediocre, I’ve got something that’ll stop that dead in its tracks: the YIIK twitter account has announced that the 1.5 patch is coming “soon”.

Hiruta: “Under these principles… perhaps it’s not impossible to create a world in which everyone can be happy. …But I can’t bear that thought. A world of endless, uninterrupted peace…?”

Hiruta: “That’s a terrifying idea! Where’s the thrill in a world without strife, despair, agony!? Without unhappiness, there is no true happiness… I don’t want to live in a world that boring.”

newmascotresized: What is this guy, Junko Enoshima? I mean, they’re both in games with godawful plots.

Morgana: “This guy never changes…”

newmascotresized: Here’s the first of the two optional Mementos requests we can do. The trigger for these appearing is clearing Maruki’s dungeon.

Morgana: “So he’s doing borderline illegal stuff in some goofy mask? Cramping our style, AND making life hard for people… we gotta shut this guy down, for all their sakes too!”

newmascotresized: This is the second to last crossword in the game, and is just as pointless as all of the other ones.

Morgana: “So this dad’s obsessed with an indie idol, huh? Well, we’ll need his name before we can do anything else. I guess we should go to Akihabara and try gathering some information.”

newmascotresized: This request is special in that it gets you a uh… ‘special’ reward on the very last day. We’ll go investigate the one in Kichijoji first.

Morgana: “Hey, they’re talking about AlMaask Ouzi. Let’s listen in a bit…”

Morgana: “So AlMaask Ouzi’s little brother has a last name of Amasaki… and he’s got haters? That’s concerning. They’re apparently hanging out in Harmony Alley. Let’s go take a look.”

Morgana: “…Those guys are bad news. I’d never be able to relax if they were after me. And ‘AIMaask OUZI’ is an anagram of his real name? That’s some interesting info.”

newmascotresized: And now, let’s go do the other investigation in Akihabara. This one is MUCH shorter.

Morgana: “Lily-nyan… do you think this is that idol, Lilina? That name came up in the post about the dad that’s obsessed with indie idols!”

Morgana: “Well, we’ve got his name now, but we don’t know if he’s the parent of our client… let’s go ask him.”

Morgana: “Let’s find out if this is the dad who’s overly obsessed with an indie idol.”

newmascotresized: I feel like this sidequest is supposed to be some kind of low-key reference to Satomi Tadashi. I hope there’s one for Hashino in Persona 6.

newmascotresized: I hope Satomi Tadashi is enjoying his retirement where all he does is be horny for idols all day.

newmascotresized: This guy reminds me of an attorney at work who just died. Dude was kinda creepy, but died of a heart attack due to what was presumably a combination of his wife hating him and his job being trash.

Morgana: " ‘He’s got no place at home’ and ‘He wants to get involved in his kids life, but he can’t.’ He’s got an unstable family situation, but he’s still fixated on that idol… looks like we’ve got the right guy."

newmascotresized: Anyway, there’s one more thing we can do today - and that’s the event that will get us the final room decoration.

Futaba: “I’m so happy! This is gonna be so much fun! Let’s go!”

Futaba: “Honestly, I wanna live here. Wait, there are tons of people… but, but… all of this still gets me excited! Seeing it in person is way different than images online!”

newmascotresized: Didn’t we take her here at least twice as part of her confidant?

Futaba: “Come on, let’s go check out that extra-thin laptop everyone’s been talking about lately!”

newmascotresized: This feels like it takes place in 2008.

Futaba: “They said it was ‘full of functions,’ but I’m not really seeing it… I don’t care anymore. Do you understand how I feel?”

Futaba: “That’s right! They betrayed me! I had super high expectations for what the evolution of electronics was gonna look like… but all I saw there was an empty slab of metal.”

Futaba: “Oh well. There’s no point in getting depressed over it. There’s still gotta be some unseen treasure waiting for me in this electronic paradise! Let’s go explore, Akira! We’ll start on the underground floor! To the escalatorrrrrr!”

Futaba: “I already have three of them though, so you can have it, Akira. It’s a present!”

newmascotresized: There’s also a reference to Innocent Sin on the TV tonight.

newmascotresized: I mean, it’s basically the plot of Innocent Sin, only they didn’t let Nyarlathotep win.

newmascotresized: And with this, Joker’s room is complete… about two months before he leaves Tokyo forever.

newmascotresized: I intentionally skipped the 29th and the 30th because we don’t have that much left to do.

newmascotresized: A few new encounters show up in Mementos after you clear Maruki’s palace, including super Jack Frosts and Pyro Jacks with their weaknesses removed.

newmascotresized: The other common enemy group is a triple fight with a Yaksini, Dakini, and Kali. The dumb part is that you can’t negotiate with any of them.

Skull: “So you’re Amasaki! You seriously don’t give a damn about how much trouble you’re causing your family?”

newmascotresized: This fight is over before it even starts.

newmascotresized: Amasaki wastes his turns calling in Legions, which… are a complete non-threat. They exist purely to make the fight take longer.

newmascotresized: We merely spam multi-target Bless attacks until everything dies.

newmascotresized: Even once Amasaki is down, you have to take the Legions out to finish the fight.

newmascotresized: On our way to the next target, we run into another gimmick encounter - Mara and his two sons.

Skull: “Come on, man. You know that’s not right, don’t you!?”

Oracle: “He’s in no condition to listen. Watch out, Joker!”

newmascotresized: This fight was probably originally meant for way earlier in the game. It’s a dialog battle that’s over in one attack.

Skull: “I get idols are important… but that’s not everything in life, right? We need to tell 'im that there’re more important things in life. Here’s the stuff we know 'bout him.”

Skull: “He’s got no place at home, and he wants to get involved with his kid’s life, but can’t.”

Oracle: “And that’s what got you into idols… he might think he stopped caring about how family, but we all know that’s not the case. Tell 'im, Joker.”

newmascotresized: Well I mean, no, you’re still some middle-aged guy obsessed with idols and you’re going to lose the lead writer position for the SMT series to an incompetent fuckwad.

Skull: “But now you know what you’ve gotta do, right?”

newmascotresized: Just like Satomi Tadashi, this guy learns NOTHING.

Skull: “So you’re not gonna stop chasing her… well, I guess it’s not a bad thing to have a hobby. Become a dad your kid can be proud of.”

newmascotresized: And that’s it. That’s all the Mementos requests. So… what’s the reward for doing this one? It’s well-hidden and I haven’t recorded it yet, but you can find Lilina in Akihabara on the last day after defeating Maruki. She gives you an item that gives you a song in the Thieves Den. It is the worst.

image

Morgana: “Guess that’s one family that we’ve saved. I can’t believe that dad was so far gone, though. We better watch our step around idols.”

Morgana: “Looks like he gave everyone a proper apology. That’s great! Not that an apology is going to make things instantly better, but… now it’s up to him to make things right.”

newmascotresized: We’re going to skip 02/01 for the most part, but we have an IM conversation and the final crossword puzzle today.

newmascotresized: Welcome, once again, to The Last Day. Today, we’re doing the final two confidant events in the expansion. From here, all that’s left is to kill Maruki.

newmascotresized: Anyway, if you maxed Sumire’s confidant, you get a second IM today. This IM is the only way to get to her Rank 11 - Sumire isn’t even on the map today.

newmascotresized: I sure hope you’re ready for THE SAME GODDAMN EVENT for the eighth time!

newmascotresized: …Wait, why is she her sister again? I thought she got rid of the magic become-my-sister ribbon.

Sumire: “Thank you. People always say a messy room means a messy heart, so… um… I asked you here today because I wanted to tell you my decision.”

Sumire: “This is where Kasumi and I promised each other we’d be the best in the world. …Pretty much everything in here is the same as in Kasumi’s bedroom. The colors are different, but not much else.”

Sumire: “That’s how it always was. Kasumi kept saying we should get the same styles, the same clothes…”

Sumire: “Yes. So… when I lost her, I… I just went into shock. I can talk about it now that I have some distance from it, but before, I was too…”

newmascotresized: You know, it just occurred to me - why is she wearing her scarf inside?

Sumire: “And because everything happened the way it did, I found ways to go back to being Sumire, one step at a time. I think… I really needed that time I spent as my sister. That’s why I’m grateful to Dr. Maruki.”

Sumire: “And that’s why I have something to tell him, too. Or rather… I want to show him that I found a way to face reality. If Dr. Maruki sees how far I’ve come… I’d like to think it might give him the strength to do the same.”

Sumire: “Yes! I’ll be the strongest Sumire Yoshizawa I can be!”

New Persona: Ella

Origin: Technically Greece

Persona 5 Royal Original

In some adaptations of the Cinderella story, the protagonist’s first name is Ella.

newmascotresized: Ella’s final ability is Masquerade, which is one of the best Physical skills in the game. It’s a pity that it gets wasted on a Persona that has no access to Charge.

Sumire: “Thank you so much, Akira-senpai. If I hadn’t met you, I’d never have found the strength to face myself. I hope we’ll always be able to count on each other. That way, I won’t ever lose myself again.”

Sumire: “Yes! We can help each other reach new heights!”

newmascotresized: I think that’s actually Sumire’s shortest confidant event. It didn’t say much, but at least it wasn’t another 10-choice fuckstrosity.

Sojiro: “Well, I know it’s a bit early, but I think I’m gonna close up shop for the day. We were so busy today, I ran out of all my ingredients. I don’t even remember the last time that happened. Weird, huh?”

Sojiro: “Anyway, don’t forget to lock up.”

Maruki: “This is Maruki, by the way. I’m actually rather close by… would you mind lending me an ear? There’s something important we need to talk about.”

Maruki: “…And, if you do intend to confront me, I believe there’s something you have to give me first.”

Maruki: “Thank you. I’ll be at the cafe shortly. See you later.”

MorganaCat: “I caught all of that. Just as we suspected, he knew he’d have to get a calling card. I have no clue how this meeting is going to go down…”

MorganaCat: “Hey, ah… Akira? Just make sure you keep your guard up, okay?”

Maruki: “How’s Yoshizawa-san holding up? I’ve been concerned about a potential relapse, considering her difficulties with accepting this reality.”

Maruki: “…You know, I would love for that to be the truth. But, people can’t maintain their strength forever, Kurusu-kun. So… getting down to business…”

Maruki: “I wanted to confirm with you one last time: is there no other way to come to an agreement besides fighting?”

Maruki: “The reality I created may seem distorted from your point of view… but it’s a reality where everyone can be happy. If you just stay, you’ll never have to suffer the pain of loss, or the pain of having people and things stolen away from you!”

newmascotresized: I think you’re about a decade late to stop people suffering the pain of Loss, much less the pain of Dominic Deegan or Something Positive.

Maruki: “So… you saw what happened with Rumi. I’m not the one who suffered - she is… but she’s still living a wonderful life right now… in this world you call a ‘distorted reality’.”

MorganaCat: “But she still doesn’t remember you, right? And you’re fine with that?”

newmascotresized: That’s one thing I never really understood about Maruki. If Rumi meant so much to him that he has giant statues of her in his head, why didn’t he just make it so her family never died? After he took over reality, I mean.

Maruki: “She may not be in my life anymore, but at least her own life is a happy one now. I’m not just doing this for Rumi - I want all of you to live just as happily as she is.”

newmascotresized: You just fucking said that! Fuck!

Maruki: “But for Rumi’s happiness to last, I have to move on. After all that’s happened to her - to me - I just can’t drag her into it…”

MorganaCat: “Doc…”

Maruki: “My stance will not change. Strange circumstances have led to my gaining this power - however, I now recognize it as being wholly inevitable.”

Maruki: “This is something only I am capable of doing. I promise: every person alive will be happy in the world I create. So, let me ask you the same: after really considering every option, do you have any doubts about your views?”

newmascotresized: Oh, right. You have an opportunity here to get the bad ending - it’s exactly the same one I already posted, just without the time skip.

Maruki: “I suppose it’s more accurate to ask, ‘Do you two gentlemen have any doubts?’ You’re here, aren’t you? …Akechi-kun.”

Akechi: “…You caught me.”

Maruki: “Oh, it was just a hunch. This issue doesn’t only affect you, Kurusu-kun… Akechi-kun, this involves you, too.”

MorganaCat: “What do these two have to do with…?”

Maruki: “The relationship you two share is very unusual… a detective and a phantom thief. Despite being enemies, your relationship isn’t based on hatred or ill will…”

newmascotresized: You know what I would have fucking loved? Have Akechi fucking slam his hands on the table and outright tell Maruki he isn’t Joker’s soft gay pancake boyfriend.

Maruki: “That’s why I found it so tragic when I learned what happened in Shido’s Palace…”

newmascotresized: Wait, what. How the fuck does he know about that? That happened before his Persona even fully awakened, and he wasn’t there.

Maruki: “Say, Kurusu-kun… didn’t you regre how things ended with him? You two came to a deep understanding of one another… yet you had no choice but to leave Akechi-kun to his fate.”

newmascotresized: Joker stands up and slams the table. “HE’S NOT MY GODDAMN BOYFRIEND! YUSUKE IS!”

Maruki: “That’s why I created a reality where you two could have a fresh start together.”

newmascotresized: This is the one thing Royal’s writers didn’t immediately fold on. Akechi is fucking dead and never coming back.

Maruki: “Get what I’m saying? I genuinely didn’t want to tell you like this. I didn’t want to make it seem like I’m holding him hostage…”

newmascotresized: Can’t hold him hostage if no one wants him.

Maruki: “But no matter what you may think of me, I just want you all to accept this reality and move on with your happy lives.”

Akechi: “…And that matters how, exactly? Don’t tell me you think dangling my life before us is going to have any impact on our decision.”

Akechi: “Well, I lacked conclusive evidence… but after I fought against you all, I had a gap in my memory that ended with meeting up with Akira again.”

Akechi: “There were also the cases of Wakaba Isshiki and President Okumura… of course I’d find all of that suspicious.”

Maruki: “I see… I had a feeling the truth of the matter still wouldn’t dissuade you, Akechi-kun. But how about you, Kurusu-kun?”

Maruki: " ‘You think dangling my life before us is going to affect our decision?’ That’s what Akechi-kun said a moment ago. If that’s how you see it at this point, I’m fine with it…"

newmascotresized: Stop fucking repeating shit! Fuck!

Maruki: “But I’m still going to ask you, one last time: will you accept the reality I create for you? You were the guiding light to my research. You showed me the way I could make my dream into reality.”

Maruki: “I have nothing but gratitude for you - not a single ounce of ill will. That’s why I wanted you of all people to understand…”

Maruki: “Perhaps I shouldn’t ask you for an answer on the spot like that. I’ll be going now.”

newmascotresized: Maruki never reads the card, but someone on the Megami Tensei wiki translated it. It reads:

"Takuto Maruki has committed the great sin of creating an overblown self-righteous reality granting people’s wishes. However, we will not soak ourselves in this false happiness, and we will overcome our pain and move forward. As a result, we will not accept your proposed salvation - and therefore, we will steal your distorted desires and take back our future.

From, John Persona."

Maruki: “I’ve heard your calling. And, about my question - let’s do this… I’ll be waiting in the Palace tomorrow, just as I promised. If you still haven’t changed your mind by then, we’ll meet there.”

Maruki: “But if you don’t show, I’ll take that to mean you’ve accepted my reality. …See you.”

Akechi: “…I’d like to speak to Akira.”

MorganaCat: “Akechi… gotcha. I’ll leave the decision up to you, Akira - let me know when you’ve reached an answer.”

Akechi: “I refuse to accept a reality concocted by someone else, stuck under their control for the rest of my days.”

Akechi: “All you have to do is stick to your guns and challenge Maruki. Or, are you really so spineless that you’d fold over some bullshit, trivial threat on my life?”

Akechi: “Then you already know what needs to be done… I want to hear you say it aloud. What do you intend to do?”

Akechi: “I won’t wait a moment longer. Answer me.”

newmascotresized: This is the last opportunity to get the bad ending. I’ll borrow some footage after this to show the other bad ending off, which happens if you haven’t cleared the palace by 02/02.

Akechi: “All right. I’m relieved to hear it. I will never accept this form of reality. I’m done being manipulated. Let’s go back… to our true reality.”

New Persona: Hereward

Origin: An Actual Person

Persona 5 Royal Original

Hereward the Wake was an English noble who fought against the Normans in the 11th century, leading a resistance cell in several areas of eastern England. Historical sources are contradictory on what happened to him - some state that he was captured during a siege by the Normans on the Isle of Ely, while others state that he escaped to Scotland. May have been the inspiration for Robin Hood.

newmascotresized: Akechi’s final skill is USELESS. The only thing you’ll be fighting with it is Maruki… who is a purely multi-target boss that can’t be downed. You also can’t get this earlier than 02/02.

newmascotresized: Next time, we take on Maruki in what is probably the most annoying boss fight in the game.

Click Here for Update 115

newmascotresized: Here we go. After 16 months, we’re finally ready to fight Maruki.

Haru: “It’s time… our final battle.”

MorganaCat: “Maruki came by Leblanc last night, so we gave him the calling card.”

Akechi: “I doubt Maruki is still interested in discussion. You realize there’s no backing out now, right?”

Ryuji: “Heh, ain’t no way we’re gonna run now. We’re gonna confront Doc in his Palace, show him what’s up, and go back to our own reality - right, Akira?”

Sumire: “Right!”

Yusuke: “It appears we’re all ready.”

MorganaCat: “It’s time to take back what belongs to us: our own reality!”

newmascotresized: Maruki’s Palace has a new theme that plays in place of Life Will Change here. It uses a remixed version of Life Will Change’s music with different lyrics.

Music I Believe

newmascotresized: I don’t like it compared to Life Will Change. It feels like it’s in the wrong game, and doesn’t fit in with the other two John Persona character songs. It feels like something Shoji Meguro had in a closet from the Persona 3 days.

BlackMask: “Well, we can finally move on now that we’ve got some stairs. Let’s end this.”

Violet: “…Right!”

Morgana: “Once we pass through here, we won’t have any choice but to confront Maruki. You ready, Joker? All right, let’s do it!”

newmascotresized: Wait, isn’t this just 3-2 from Demon’s Souls? The part right before you fight the Maneaters with the black phantom mindflayer on the spiral stairs.

newmascotresized: I also feel like the “Apple with a bite out of it” thing is a little too on the nose. I get what they’re going for, but still.

Marukevil: “It looks like I have your answer.”

newmascotresized: You know what doesn’t make sense to me? Why is it that Maruki has a different outfit in his palace? He does have a Phantom Thief outfit, and this isn’t it.

Marukevil: “That’s good to hear. Now…”

Marukevil: “If you win, my heart will be changed… however, if I win… my reality becomes the true reality. I will overwrite all of existence with my own cognition… I’m not holding back anymore.”

Panther: “Wh-What the…?”

Marukevil: “Just as you have your own beliefs, I too have no intention of changing my plans for reality. No matter what happens to me in the end, I will fix this torturous world!”

newmascotresized: I hope you’re ready for Maruki’s Phantom Thief outfit, because I wasn’t.

newmascotresized: Yusuke immediately recognizes a fashion crime when he sees it.

newmascotresized: Yes, Maruki is wearing tights and heels, because these are exactly the kind of things a final boss wears.

newmascotresized: PFFFFT. Look at this dipshit! Tights, heels, and a goddamn turtleneck. They had to censor the rest of it with that robe because otherwise people would just turn the game off here.

newmascotresized: Seriously, what the fuck would you even call this outfit? It’s like tights mixed with a turtleneck and a fucking thong. And why the fuck is he wearing heels to a fight, other than that he’s a dipshit?

newmascotresized: Okay so seriously, when do we get a real final boss and not whatever the fuck this shit is?

Morgana: “No way… so Maruki really does have a Persona!”

Dipshit: “I’d regret not pointing this out to you… you shouldn’t mistake our powers as being equal. It’s time, Azathoth… our final battle has come.”

Violet: “Dr. Maruki…”

Dipshit: “I have to do this…”

newmascotresized: No you don’t! You could totally take that outfit off and put something on that doesn’t look like it was designed by an indie fashion ‘expert’ who got told they had a good idea once and let it go to their head.

Oracle: “Incoming, guys! Get ready!”

image

newmascotresized: Maruki’s fight is a mix of the second half of Kaneshiro’s fight and Okumura’s fight. In this first phase, there’s three tentacles - one Tentacle of Protection, one Tentacle of Assistance and one Tentacle of Healing.

newmascotresized: Each tentacle has a set of weaknesses and nulls or repels everything else. The protection tentacle is weak to physical, the assistance tentacle is weak to the elements, and the healing tentacle to Nuke/Psy/Bless/Curse.

newmascotresized: We can do all of that, and in the first phase, it’s not too hard to handle at all.

newmascotresized: The annoying part is that Maruki has a move called Shield Tendril that will either null all damage done to him (if all the tentacles are alive) or reduce it if at least one is dead.

newmascotresized: You’re supposed to use Sumire for this part, but I found it easiest with our usual setup. Ann hits the assistance tentacle, baton passes to Yusuke to hit the protection tentacle, then Yusuke baton passes to Makoto to finish off the healing tentacle.

newmascotresized: In this case, I think I baton passed to Joker instead and merely nuked half of Azathoth’s HP in one go.

newmascotresized: I then passed to a Concentrated and buffed Makoto, who did the rest of the damage. This is the easy part of the fight… well, one of the easy parts.

newmascotresized: Maruki’s second phase is EXTREMELY FUCKING ANNOYING.

Oracle: “Huh? He’s getting stronger!? Be careful!”

image

newmascotresized: In the second phase, we get the vocal version of Maruki’s theme. It’s not terrible, and I don’t mind that it doesn’t really fit with the rest of the game given that it’s Maruki’s character song.

newmascotresized: Remember Final Fantasy Tactics Advance? How absolutely no one liked that game because it had the stupid rule system where you’d be randomly prevented from using certain units? GUESS WHAT’S BACK.

newmascotresized: Phase 2 is basically Phase 1 but more annoying. The tentacles now shift their affinities every turn, meaning that there’s no way to know what their weakness is. Given that they null or repel everything that’s not a weakness, this makes fishing for them pointless.

newmascotresized: You might also notice in the corner that we’re no longer allowed to use magic skills, which invalidates three-quarters of the current party and makes damaging Maruki nigh-impossible.

newmascotresized: Because of Maruki’s bullshit, we can only hit Azathoth for 1 HP. By the way, you’re hitting Azathoth this whole time and not Maruki, even though Maruki is a target. Why?

newmascotresized: The answer is that Maruki has crazy defenses and if the Tentacle of Healing is alive it will heal him for thousands of HP at a time. I’m not even sure why he’s a target.

newmascotresized: What’s kind of hilarious is that Akechi is USELESS in this fight. Stage 2 is the majority of the Maruki fight, and he has a full-party Bless attack that will feed him free press turns if you have Akechi with you.

newmascotresized: Maruki then has his tentacles heal him and buff his damage, because we have no way of damaging them.

newmascotresized: Oh, and have I mentioned that Maruki revives the tentacles on his turn? He does. The only good news is that a dead tentacle will revive with its resistances in the default state.

newmascotresized: So yeah, this fight sucks. The one thing that makes this fight not total bullshit is that the tentacles can land on the same weakness, which will come up in a minute.

newmascotresized: Maruki also has a full-party physical attack. Between Ali Dance and Yusuke’s ability, we have a pretty good shot at evading it… except here it decided to crit on Joker.

newmascotresized: There is a strategy for being able to kill all of the tentacles, and that’s by using every possible element on them at least once. The game will let you know when the tentacles are weak to something you’ve already tried.

newmascotresized: In this case though, we get incredibly lucky: all three tentacles are weak to curse.

newmascotresized: For the first time, we land a hit for more than 200 or 300 damage.

newmascotresized: The next few turns are mostly me killing two tentacles per turn and then hitting Azathoth for damage. Every turn, there was one weak to fire and one weak to physical - so I’d hit those and then baton pass to Joker if I could… as one of the restrictions Maruki can hit you with is no baton passing.

newmascotresized: Once his HP hits a certain threshold, Maruki starts doing this shit.

newmascotresized: He’ll target a single party member, just like Okumura did. The difference is that there’s an easy way to avoid this - you simply switch out the targeted party member. I didn’t bother, because fuck engaging with game mechanics.

newmascotresized: If you don’t switch out, Maruki uses an attack called Piercing Strike, which is basically Hassou Tobi only it hits 20 times and does Almighty damage. It’s a guaranteed instakill.

newmascotresized: He can’t target Joker with this for obvious reasons, so there’s that at least.

newmascotresized: In the Yusu-Gay route, it is absolutely canon that Yusuke responds “I already have one!” and hugs Joker.

newmascotresized: The rest of the fight is me nickel and diming Maruki to death… until…

newmascotresized: Tyrant Stance is followed by an attack called Tyrant Chaos, which is functionally identical to Megidolaon. What may not be obvious is that Tyrant Stance gives Maruki an automatic Concentrate.

newmascotresized: Anyway, the party was pretty fucked up and Maruki had healing restricted, so I didn’t bother guarding with Ann.

newmascotresized: So yeah, that’s another instakill if it hits you.

newmascotresized: Some five or six turns worth of nickel and diming later, we finally get Azathoth down. There’s a 40-turn time limit on this fight, and I think we used at least half of it.

Oracle: “Finally! His Persona can’t act anymore! Now’s your shot, Joker!”

newmascotresized: At this point, Maruki’s HP is lowered to1 and any hit will finish the fight.

Dipshit: “Azathoth… did I… fail?”

Morgana: “…It’s Maruki’s Treasure.”

Noir: “What is it, though? …A torch?”

BlackMask: “A torch is a light to guide people - it may symbolize his perception of himself as the guide for the entire world. We’re here to change his heart, aren’t we? Go on, take it.”

newmascotresized: I’m surprised they didn’t have Akechi explain the entire apple thing.

Dipshit: “So… this is it…”

Oracle: “This place is collapsing!”

Fox: “We’d better take our leave.”

Dipshit: “No, I… I can still…!”

newmascotresized: They just ramped it from like 50 feet up, there’s no way everyone isn’t super fucking dead.

Violet: “Dr. Maruki…”

Panther: “This has gone too far past changing someone’s heart… is he even still alive?”

newmascotresized: Holy shit look at Akechi’s neck. I’m pretty sure necks don’t bend like that.

Dipshit: “I’m sorry - you know I can’t do that. I’ve been chosen by the world itself… granting this wish is my responsibility!”

Panther: “Ah! He just - the Treasure!”

newmascotresized: I hope you’re ready for a dumbass Attack on Titan reference. Fuck that shit anime.

newmascotresized: Oh look, it’s the Dumbass Titan. I didn’t know Maruki was Anime German.

New Persona: Adam Kadmon

Origin: The Kabbalah

Persona 5 Royal Original

It’s kind of hard to explain what Adam Kadmon is. In Hebrew myth (as well as several other Christian and Gnostic sects) there’s a belief that when the Judeo-Christian God created humanity, he first made a spiritual being called Adam Kadmon (literally “Primeval Man”) that represents what happens when all of the sephirot come together. Adam Kadmon is kind of like an Archetype in Jungian psychology that all of humanity is modeled on. There are some Judeo-Christian sects who believe that Jesus is the personification of Adam Kadmon.

newmascotresized: You have no idea how many things I had to read to get a basic understanding of that, because there’s so much jangly key man bullshit.

Violet: “You’re wrong!”

Oracle: “Yeah! We refuse to let it end any other way, too!”

newmascotresized: The third phase of the fight is a DPS check, plain and simple.

newmascotresized: All of the party’s HP and SP are back, and Maruki spends the first turn being practically invincible.

newmascotresized: But you know what he isn’t any more? Immune to physical damage.

newmascotresized: Maruki will always use his first turn to cast Origin Light, an Almighty attack that is more or less Megidolaon. It wipes half the party’s HP (or more).

newmascotresized: We’re doing very little damage for being Concentrated, and the reason is that Maruki still has a really high magic defense - this is a scripted fight for the most part.

newmascotresized: When Maruki’s HP reaches 75%, he’ll stop using Origin Light and use Revitalize Soul. This does a fixed 300 damage and heals Maruki for 1200 of his 3000 total HP. The HP regen is per-target rather than based on the amount of damage he does.

newmascotresized: The game also has a thing to stop you cheesing Maruki’s heal. If you beat Maruki’s first two forms alone, the party will be automatically filled in for this part.

newmascotresized: From this point, all Maruki will do is use Grand Palm until he dies or you do. His defense and magic defense have dropped significantly.

newmascotresized: This means we can unleash another Hassou Tobi for shitloads of damage.

newmascotresized: Of course, it wouldn’t be Attack on Titan if Maruki wasn’t a Titan Shifter.

newmascotresized: Holy fuck, is this Akechi having some common sense?

newmascotresized: Unfortunately, Akechi’s shot is deflected by a tentacle. You know, it’d fucking rule if this kind of thing ever worked. Imagine FF8 if Irvine killed Edea on Disc 1.

newmascotresized: Joker looks at Akechi. “If he makes a Wonderwall reference, shoot him.”

newmascotresized: “What if he - oh wait, I’ll just shoot him anyway.”

newmascotresized: Sumire looks about the same as how I felt at this point. I think I had been recording for like two and a half hours.

newmascotresized: This final phase of the fight is 100% scripted.

newmascotresized: I don’t think it’s possible to lose this fight - from what I understand, your party will always survive Full Force no matter what.

newmascotresized: Just like before, Adam Kadmon has insanely high defenses and somewhere in the neighborhood of 30,000 HP. It’s not possible to win this fight - all you can do is watch.

newmascotresized: Maruki does another cycle of charging and then using Full Force, before…

newmascotresized: Wait a second, isn’t this just that scene at the end of Majora’s Mask where the four giant stop the moon?

newmascotresized: What the hell kind of grappling hook is Joker using that he can throw through solid metal, and more importantly, why wasn’t he using it as a weapon instead of his knife?

newmascotresized: And here it is. Joker’s got his Deagle-Brand Deagle again, it’s time to fire the final shot.

Dipshit: “I gave up everything else… I dedicated all that I have to this… but I still… why?”

newmascotresized: That’s not how you do it. This is how you do it.

newmascotresized: What Joker’s saying is that maybe you should’ve known the truth instead of wondering ‘why’.

newmascotresized: That is, unfortunately, the second time I’ve had to reference a Linkin Park song.

Dipshit: “…Heheh. You nailed it. It’s true that I turned my back on the original reality… but where’s the harm in that!? When it grows to be too much, too painful… every person deserves to escape that!”

Violet: “…”

Dipshit: “In all honesty, it’s best for a person’s growth when they tackle their own hardships… but reality doesn’t always make that feasible!”

Dipshit: “No matter how much you try, or work for so long, the smallest injustice can wipe it all out, leave you with nothing…”

newmascotresized: Stop fucking quoting Linkin Park! Fuck! I hate those fucking dipshits!

newmascotresized: Anyway, this is the argument the writers are going to make against Maruki and his reality. Not that it would be impossible to please everyone, nor that Maruki was effectively declaring himself a god… but that it inhibits character growth.

Morgana: “You know, there probably are plenty of people who’d ultimately benefit from your ‘reality’. But what about the people who want to take on the world themselves? How’s it right to rob them of their opportunities?”

newmascotresized: They had the opportunity to at least take one of the more sensible routes out of this, and went for the dumbest and most anime bullshit explanation possible.

Violet: “Some people want to run from their pain and cling to some other version of reality… like I used to.”

Violet: “But the knowledge I gained through that pain, and my desire to move on… those are even more precious to me! And I won’t let anyone take them from me again!”

Dipshit: “Yoshizawa-san… so you truly don’t want it… huh… looks like I’m totally finished.”

newmascotresized: It’s been collapsing for several minutes by this point.

newmascotresized: There’s a line here I missed.

newmascotresized: I have absolutely no idea how the fuck this makes the slightest bit of sense. Joker was in the middle of Ryuji and Yusuke.

newmascotresized: Wait a second, wasn’t this the final scene of Resident Evil 5? You know, where Wesker grabs the helicopter and you have to do the final input of launching two rockets at him at once?

newmascotresized: Clearly, T-posing will negate all fall damage. It’s just science.

Dipshit: “…This place is done for. Along with the entire reality I dreamed of… I… have lost. Even if I were to try that fight over, I’m sure I’d only lose again.”

Dipshit: “I’ve been holding this all in for so long, just hiding it from myself… so, please… help me kill every last one of my regrets. You’re the only one I can ask to help me with this, Kurusu-kun.”’

newmascotresized: Joker’s thinking “God dammit, the one time I get to be sparkly and Yusuke isn’t here.”

Marukevil: “The disappearance of my Palace - of the entire Metaverse - is drawing near. Seems like neither of us can summon our Personas anymore.”

newmascotresized: There are a lot of games that have used fistfights as the coda to the plot to great effect. Take the Snake/Ocelot fistfight in Metal Gear Solid 4, or the final boss of Dead Rising.

newmascotresized: So yeah, this is a dumbass, anime-as-fuck, pointless fucking turn-based fistfight between Joker and Maruki. I think Joker’s portrait in the bottom-right is new for this.

newmascotresized: The difference between those fights I mentioned earlier and this is that those fights had an impact. They felt like struggles. This feels like a dumbass cutscene that has no reason to exist.

newmascotresized: After three or so turns of this shit, it’s over.

newmascotresized: How did that pen stay in his pocket the entire time? Also, why is he making a stupid fucking face?

newmascotresized: Did Brian Allanson guest animate this?

newmascotresized: You know what would have had a fucking impact here? If Maruki did the Geese Howard thing and batted Joker’s hand away. Maybe have a line like “My death… is on your hands now. This is what you wanted.”

newmascotresized: Wait a second. How is it that Maruki’s glove hasn’t slipped off?

Igor: chuckle “Magnificent.”

Lavenza: “Not only have you taken back mankind’s future for itself… but you’ve also re-established our reason for existence. While reality had been wholly distorted, your actions have guided it back towards what it ought to be.”

Lavenza: “That is correct. Time itself cannot be rewound, but every past event will revert to the event that should have occurred instead.”

newmascotresized: There’s two flashbacks here I’m not going to bother to post - the first is Sae telling Joker to turn himself in on Christmas Eve, the second is to the scene on 02/02 with Akechi.

newmascotresized: I picked this answer for a reason.

Lavenza: “Everything will return to how it should be… everything. There are no exceptions.”

newmascotresized: Akechi is canonically dead. He is not coming back. Please keep this in mind for the next update.

Lavenza: “Have your regrets begun?”

Lavenza: “It seems you are still resolute in this matter. Choosing such a path must not have been easy for you… for that, you have our utmost gratitude and respect, Akira Kurusu.”

newmascotresized: We’ll stop here for now. 125 fucking hours into this game. How the hell did I even… anyway, we’ll do the final cutscenes next update… followed by the penultimate Yusu-Gay.

Click Here for Update 116

newmascotresized: We’ve finished the game, and all that’s left are the final couple of cutscenes.

Ann: “Where could Mona, Akechi-kun and Akira be? We’ve literally looked everywhere…”

newmascotresized: Back to being a cat, dead, and probably at Leblanc waiting for his boyfriend to come back.

Ryuji: “This is our original reality, right?”

Sumire: “I believe so, yes…”

Yusuke: “The Meta-Nav is gone. We don’t even have a way to check anymore…”

Makoto: “At any rate, there’s no point in worrying about it here. We should work all of this out somewhere else.”

Futaba: “You’re right - now that I think about it, we’ve been out all night too… so, let’s go to Leblanc.”

Sumire: “Oh, right!”

newmascotresized: When I got to the end of the base game, I was worried that I’d have to do a separate run of the base game to show the ending off. As it turns out, that will not be necessary.

newmascotresized: What you’re about to see is the base game’s ending with some VERY minor changes, mostly to account for Sumire being there.

Sojiro: “You didn’t tell me you’d be out all night… you should’ve at least gotten in touch with me about it.”

Futaba: “I’m sorry, Sojiro…”

Ann: “We’re the ones who kept her out so late - we should be apologizing for her.”

Sumire: “And we’re all back so early in the morning… we’re awfully sorry.”

Sojiro: “Stop apologizing so much. Being worried isn’t exactly on my list of favorite activities, but I assume you had a good reason for it, right?”

Makoto: “Um… have you seen Akira-kun at all lately?”

Sojiro: “Akira? What are you bringing him up for?”

Futaba: “You know what his deal is right now, Sojiro?”

newmascotresized: In the base game, this is the scene that takes place on Christmas, just with this bit tacked on to the start.

Ryuji: “Locked up?”

Ann: “What’s going on?”

Sojiro: “What’re you guys talkin’ about… well, I was gonna ask you that, but now I’m getting a strange feeling that I’ve been seeing him until fairly recently.”

Sojiro: “Anyways - why don’t you all take a seat before I go over his situation?”

Yusuke: “So, Akira’s in juvenile detention…”

Sojiro: “Well, I need to stock up on a few supplies before I open up shop… feel free to hang out here while I’m out.”

Sumire: “Thank you…”

Makoto: “You know, these unexpected changes could actually be the end results of our actions in our own reality… remember how Akira was originally planning on turning himself in to the police?”

Haru: “Then Akechi-kun did it for him instead…”

Yusuke: “But that took place in Dr. Maruki’s reality - which means Akira’s currently…”

Ann: “So, everything that would’ve happened if it weren’t for Dr. Maruki… now it’s actually happened?”

Ryuji: “Ya know, what y’all are saying’s startin’ to make sense… but in that case, in the real reality - uh, I mean, the reality we’re in right now… what happened with Morgana and Akechi?”

Futaba: “Don’t say it… just like with my mom, now Morgana’s…”

Futaba: “Recycled gags suck! Why do you always hafta get us all worried like that!?”

newmascotresized: What I don’t get is why any of them would expect him to be dead. He was alive after Yaldabaoth died.

Haru: “How are you here?”

MorganaCat: “Looks like it really was just the Metaverse me who disappeared. Eventually, I woke up in Shibuya. Getting all the way back here took some time.”

newmascotresized: In the base game, Morgana doesn’t show up until Joker gets out of prison on 02/13. That’s about the only change in this timeline apart from Sumire - Royal is a self-retcon.

Ryuji: “C’mon, don’t scare us like that! Oh, but wait - does that mean Akechi’s…”

Haru: “What is it, Mona-chan?”

MorganaCat: “Well… about him…”

Sumire: “No… I can’t believe Akechi-san’s really…”

Ryuji: “What the hell… so he was fightin’ that hard, knowin’ he was gonna disappear the whole time…”

Yusuke: “So, Akira’s incarcerated and Akechi is… I thought I’d braced myself for the decision we made, but… this truly is a harsh reality.”

Sumire: “We all decided to live our real lives and look to the future from here… but even so… I… I just can’t accept Akira-senpai being stuck behind bars. Why don’t we try to help him somehow?”

MorganaCat: “Nice, I’m impressed with the idea!”

Ann: “Yeah! We won’t put up with this injustice!”

Haru: “But, what can we do to actually help him get out of there?”

Makoto: “I remember Sis telling me a while ago… in order to overturn a sentence, you need definitive evidence that proves the subject’s innocence.”

newmascotresized: Keep this line in mind for uh… a few minutes from now.

Ryuji: “So what yer sayin’ is, we just gotta find that evidence… right?”

Sumire: “Then we’re on the case!”

Yusuke: “There’s no time for us to waste. We’re going to show off what the Phantom Thieves are capable of - one last time.”

newmascotresized: Not much, given that none of you have Personas anymore?

Futaba: “That’s right! Let’s go!”

Ryuji: “We’re gonna save our leader, no matter what it takes!”

newmascotresized: This scene is identical to the base game, the only difference being that in the base game it takes place between Christmas and February 13th.

Makoto: “Now that we know the name, all we need is an address. You’re right. We’ll succeed if we all do it together.”

Makoto: “Sis has yet to say anything, but I believe she’s looking into possible actions as well. As for me, I will look into every viable solution. …Thanks. Make sure you give my regards to Shiho-san.”

Makoto: “…Oh, could we try getting their help as well? I’m sure they would gladly cooperate. …That would be a great help. I’ll leave that to you. Mm-hm. We’ll talk again tomorrow. Let’s save him, no matter what.”

Sojiro: “There was nothing wrong with his conduct! I was his guardian, so I should know best. Hmph, I bet you’re just trying to dig up some dirt. You probably want to pin a crime on him…”

Sojiro: “But I’m not gonna let that happen - you hear me?”

newmascotresized: You get one of these little scenes for each non-party confidant you maxed out during the base game. Since we’ve 100%ed the game, we’ll see them all.

Tae: “I’ve heard that Miwa-chan’s progress is going well.”

Tae: “I’m certain that this will help prove his good character in the trials. Please. I want to increase his chances of being found innocent as much as possible.”

newmascotresized: You’ll notice that this makes no sense because Joker is already in prison… and Makoto implied that Joker had already been sentened. Not making sense has never stopped Hashino before.

Tae: “You’ll cooperate too, right?”

newmascotresized: This one also doesn’t make sense because Joker has been in prison for nearly two months at this point… but why put the effort in? The writers for Royal clearly didn’t give a shit.

Kawakami: “You’ll all agree with me, correct!? What good are teachers if they don’t believe in their students!?”

Iwai: “Also, you guys know someone in Public Security, right? Won’t you introduce me to him? …I have to protect him, using whatever means necessary.”

newmascotresized: You know, it’s really, really dumb they didn’t do an ending where Maruki shows up and takes Akechi’s place.

Mishima: “I-I want to help a friend who’s innocent! He’s a really good guy! He always fights for the sake of others… he’s… he’s my best friend!”

Chihaya: “The reason why we were able to come to our senses is because he saved us! And now he’s in a crisis himself. I believe it’s our turn to save him this time!”

Chihaya: “But our words alone won’t reach anyone… that’s why I need Yokota-san and everyone’s help! Won’t you please protest the police with me!? Please!”

newmascotresized: Here’s what I never quite understood about this ending, and you’ll see it in a bit - why did Sae need Joker to turn himself in?

Ohya: “Did he truly look like a boy who would cause an assault here? There’s a discrepancy in the other residents’ testimonies and the court decision at the time. Please, you have to remember!”

P5_portrait_of_Toranosuke_Yoshida: “He is suffering from a crime he did not commit! He is a promising young man who will support this country’s future! What justice is there in a country without it being able to save such an individual!?”

newmascotresized: The thing is, there’s ways they could have made this scene really effective. Imagine if this was super-cut with Joker testifying at Shido’s trial in the base game, with Joker not arrested yet because they can’t prove he’s John Persona.

newmascotresized: In Royal, I probably would have had Maruki testify in Joker’s place as a means of avenging Rumi or something - with his final lines being that he can prove the Metaverse existed but not who John Persona is.

Shinya: “I really wanna go up against him, but I heard he’s been arrested for some crimes he didn’t commit. But… I can’t help him out with just myself alone.”

Shinya: “We need tons more people’s voices, like on online forums and getting signatures and stuff! You have to say with me that it makes no sense that he’s been arrested when he’s done nothing bad!”

Hifumi: “I would still be trapped in that awful match-fixing if not for his support. And now, this honest gentleman is locked up in juvenile hall, despite being innocent! This time, I wish to be the one to come to his rescue!”

newmascotresized: This one, uh… I don’t quite get how this one makes any sense, but whatever.

Kasumi: “I swear I’ll make up for the missed practice. Please, let me just take a short break! Ah… Coach?”

Hiraguchi: “No deal.”

Kasumi: “But…”

Hiraguchi: “I’ve got a few connections up my sleeve that’ll probably be more useful than simply doing your own legwork… I’ll also try calling around to check if any of the other trainees have some useful info…”

Hiraguchi: “But, if I do this for you, it means you’re continuing practice as scheduled, got it? I’m sure it’s what he’d want for you, too.”

Kasumi: “Thank you so much, Coach!”

Lavenza: “What a most ironic outcome, your wish for others’ happiness prevailed over your own. However… I feel as though all is finally well. In the end, you willingly chose the correct path.”

newmascotresized: Where is my option to punch Lavenza?

Lavenza: “Most importantly, you never compromised your values for your own well-being.”

Lavenza: “It is the power for an individual to stand on their own two feet, swayed by none. That power shall fuel the hope shared amongst your friends and yourself, to strive towards a better future.”

Lavenza: “With ‘The World,’ you are no longer without a place to belong, and will never trudge a path alone again.”

newmascotresized: “I’ve been dead since Persona 4, which coincidentally was the last good Persona game!”

newmascotresized: Fuck you, Sae, you worthless bitch!

Sae: “We met last on Christmas Eve, right? …Mm, nevermind. It’s nothing. I have two great pieces of news for you today. First, we finally managed to prosecute Masayoshi Shido. He’ll likely be found guilty.”

Sae: “I’m grateful for your cooperation with the trial. Your testimony proved to be very useful.”

Sae: “To be frank, it seemed almost hopeless at one point. But thanks to the civil protests, some of the more indecisive prosecutors came to our side.”

Sae: “It will likely be some more time until the hearing begins, but this is the first step to true change. The only charges right now are for breaking election laws, breaking funding control laws, and bribery.”

Sae: “I knew that proving the Metaverse’s existence would be difficult… but I still find myself dissatisfied.”

newmascotresized: You know what this is? There’s this webcomic called Kill Six Billion Demons. I’m not a particularly big fan of its writing, except for one line. It goes something like this.

newmascotresized: “They have the infinite power of creation, and they’re using it to accomplish what could be done with a sharp bit of rock.”

newmascotresized: That’s what this is. Why did she need Joker at all? Why did she need to prove the Metaverse/John Persona if all she was going to convict him on are finance crimes that can be proven without the use of magic?

Sae: “Shido did admit to all of his crimes though, including everything you know about. Now for the other piece of good news. As of today, you’ll be free to go.”

newmascotresized: Here’s how I would end this. Joker looks at her and goes “Fuck you. You wasted two months of my goddamn life for no fucking reason, other than that you’re a complete incompetent.”

newmascotresized: I mean seriously, look at the end of Persona 4, where Dojima manages to get Adachi convicted for the murders despite them using the TV world.

Sae: “Shido’s confession brought light to the truth of your case. We were able to prove your innocence in the original assault charge that led to your arrest.”

Sae: “Your sentence will no doubt be rescinded. You’re a free man. The others did everything they could for you. Bringing in the woman who was the victim in your case as a witness was the turning point.”

newmascotresized: So basically, Sae did exactly fucking nothing. Great writing there, Hashino. Way to make me like this character.

Sae: “To think they’d be able to track down someone involved in a case from well over a year ago… that wasn’t all… an unbelievable amount of support has come in from various other places as well.”

Sae: “Regardless, the righteous Phantom Thieves are gone. All that remains is for us adults to lead society in the right direction. …Then again, I wonder if you believe what I say.”

Sae: “That’s unfortunate, but I suppose it doesn’t come as a surprise… I will certainly prove it with results though. Still, I’m glad I was able to save you in court. I’ve never felt so happy in my entire life.”

Sae: “I’m not quite sure how to put it, but… saving your future meant more to me than my own career. I feel like you even taught me how to live.”

Sae: “That’s not true. …By the way, there’s something that’s been on my mind. What did the Treasure of my world turn out to be?”

newmascotresized: Joker: “Tramp stamp.”

Sae: “I suppose it doesn’t matter now one way or the other. There is… one more thing. I haven’t even told Makoto about this… but I realized something after meeting all of you.”

Sae: “My most prized ‘treasure’ is the justice I use to protect those important to me. Makoto helped show me that as well. Once the Shido case is settled, I’m thinking of quitting my job and becoming a defense lawyer.”

Sae: “I wanted to reform the system, but I’ll have to leave that to someone else. Going forward, I want to enact justice not for myself, but for the sake of others.”

Sae: “Thank you again for everything you’ve done. See you later.”

newmascotresized: Sae was hit by a car and died off-screen immediately after submitting the paperwork.

newmascotresized: It feels like they made this cutscene before they even had Sojiro’s confidant figured out.

Sojiro: “Another accident, huh? Heh. Reminds me of that day back in April. Remember when we went to introduce you at the school?”

Sojiro: “You never change, huh? Thinking back, I was pretty awful to you, throwing you in that storage room all by yourself… then again, soon you’re gonna be…”

Sojiro: “Made some great friends here. You’d better thank them when we get back, all right?”

newmascotresized: I like to think that back home, Joker has a cast of friends who could’ve solved this entire situation from day one, but couldn’t afford the train ticket to Tokyo.

newmascotresized: I’m going to borrow a single shot from the other LP, because this cutscene was a few seconds longer in the base game and featured Yusuke doing the gayest wave imaginable.

newmascotresized: Naturally, they cut it down because Sumire wasn’t in it… and they didn’t feel like spending the money on a new cutscene.

newmascotresized: Futaba embracing the “live laugh love” mentality.

Sojiro: “Whoa.”

Ryuji: “You did it!”

Yusuke: “It has been a while.”

Ann: “Not bad. You look fine.”

Haru: “I’m glad you seem well.”

MorganaCat: “So we meet again, Akira! …It’s good to see you.”

Makoto: “All right, so let’s grab a table!”

Sojiro: “I gotta head out and grab some groceries. I’m sure you guys have plenty to talk about.”

Ann: “Now we’re only missing one last person!”

Makoto: “She texted me a little while ago that she’s finished with practice and heading here… I’m guessing she’ll be here any minute now.”

Sumire: “Sorry I’m late!”

Sumire: “Um… welcome back!”

Ryuji: “All right, that’s everyone!”

MorganaCat: “C’mon, Sumire - take a seat.”

Ryuji: “Man! It went well, yeah!?”

Makoto: “I’m so glad we didn’t give up.”

Yusuke: “This was certainly worth the effort.”

newmascotresized: What effort? This expansion was like 75% post-Persona 5 recycled content the same way SMT V is. I tried getting back into SMT V and it’s a goddamn snoozefest.

Ann: “We didn’t know what to do once you were gone. But then we realized something. Even if we don’t have the Metaverse or any other special powers, we can still change reality.”

MorganaCat: “If we didn’t do that at the very least, we’d be betraying the entire reason we stood up to Maruki.”

Sumire: “We’ll oppose the injustices of this reality with our own strength… that’s what we all agreed upon.”

Ryuji: “And ever since then, we’ve been doin’ just that - busting our asses tryna get you outta the clink.”

Haru: “Not just us. Everyone who believed in you joined us.”

Futaba: “Thanks to that, we’ve got our leader back!”

Ryuji: “What’re you talkin’ about? You’re the one who took the hit for us.”

Ann: “They treated you fine, right? Actually… did you lose some weight?”

Yusuke: “It would be understandable… I’ve heard the food in prison is quite foul… so… what did you eat?”

Futaba: “Was it bugs? Fermented mackerel? Or maybe durian?”

Makoto: “You’re missing the point.”

Ryuji: “Eh, you’re gonna get some good food soon enough though. Boss is out gettin’ stuff for our party right now. C’mon, everyone’s back together! It’s time to celebrate!”

newmascotresized: There’s a loud stomach growling noise.

Haru: giggle “I guess you really were hungry, Akira-kun. Oh? That wasn’t you?”

Sumire: “Sorry about that…”

Yusuke: “Ah, it was Sumire…”

Futaba: “Sojiro’ll be back soon - just hang in there!”

Ryuji: “…Oh yeah! Uhh… sorry for not mindin’ my business. But we heard from Boss… you’re goin’ back home next month? Can’t you stay here?”

Ryuji: “Sure we proved you’re not guilty, but people’re still gonna label you there, aren’t they? Ain’t it just gonna be uncomfortable goin’ back?”

Makoto: “What’s the matter? We were all so excited a moment ago. …How about this? If our leader is leaving, the Phantom Thieves are truly disbanding, correct?”

Makoto: “Today we can celebrate Akira’s release. .and commemorate the day of our disbandment.”

Ann: “What kind of commemoration is that?”

Makoto: “I was serious when I said it…”

Haru: “It sounds like a good idea to me.”

Ryuji: “I guess you’re right! We just gotta double our excitement for today!”

newmascotresized: I don’t think the writers for Strikers read this part, because from what I remember, Morgana is at Leblanc when Joker arrives at the start of Strikers. Strikers was a mistake.

MorganaCat: “He’s pretty special, after all. Plus, we need someone there in case he turns back into a delinquent!”

MorganaCat: “Really? Either way, I want you guys to add my farewell party to the one we’re having tonight!”

Ryuji: “I dunno… is that important?”

Haru: “You’re not leaving for another month, right?”

Yusuke: “It is far too early for a farewell party.”

Makoto: “That’ll just muddy the purpose of this celebration.”

MorganaCat: “Nrrrrgh, how dare you! Sumire! At least you’re on my side, right?”

newmascotresized: Sumire waves at him and goes “I’m not canon, Morgana” before vanishing into the ether.

Sumire: “Uh, me? Then… what say we call this a second-round welcoming party?”

MorganaCat: “That’s the ticket! My re-welcoming party! Nobody can complain about that! So, for the food at my party… I demand sushi! Sushi!”

MorganaCat: “Chief! They’re so mean!”

Sojiro: “Noisy as always…”

MorganaCat: “Hey! I’m not some… normal cat!”

newmascotresized: No, because a normal cat wouldn’t eat sushi. At least, my cat probably wouldn’t. I gave him shrimp recently and he thumbed his nose at it.

Sojiro: “I can’t understand what you’re saying to me, you know. Here.”

MorganaCat: “No, I would much rather have sushi than something like - hmprh!? This is delicious!”

Sojiro: “Sheesh, what an assertive little guy. I wonder where he got that from.”

MorganaCat: “Heh, that’s just part and parcel of who I am - the one, the only: Morgana.”

Ryuji: “Stop tryin’ to talk so big. You’re just a cat now.”

MorganaCat: “Shuddup! I don’t need to hear that from some dumb ape!”

Ryuji: “What was that!?”

MorganaCat: “It’s things like that. You get angry so fast. Oh, and you’re vulgar.”

newmascotresized: Wasn’t the entire point of the Haru arc that Morgana was over this shit?

Ryuji: “You little…! Why don’t you go disappear again!?”

Ann: “Ugh, shut up! We’re supposed to be celebrating, not fighting!”

Makoto: “They’re at it again…”

Sojiro: “You guys never change, do you?”

newmascotresized: Is that his response to everything? I feel like it is.

Futaba: “Seriously… that weirdo Inari.”

newmascotresized: And now, for a line that somehow has a typo in it that didn’t exist in the base game, a feat even the Allansons have yet to pull off.

newmascotresized: This seemed so out-of-character for Yusuke that I had to go back to the other LP and see if this was something that existed in the base game. It did.

newmascotresized: I think what may have happened is the writers for Royal assumed that this was Ryuji’s line and not Yusuke’s.

Sumire: “Don’t worry. Being weird is just a sign of your individuality.”

Ann: “Uh, you don’t need to defend him about that…”

Ryuji: “Hahaha! Well anyways, we’re all here now! Let’s kick this party off!”

Yusuke: “Very well…”

Futaba: “Sojiro! I want sushi!”

MorganaCat: “I guess home is what you make of it… even in this abandoned building of all places. Hey, take care of me like this back home too, okay? So, uh… I wanted to ask you something.”

MorganaCat: “Remember the tail end of Maruki’s Palace, where I was actually flying? …That wasn’t a dream, right?”

MorganaCat: “Yeah, I thought so. But I still can’t figure out how that was possible in the first place. So, this is just a theory, but… don’t you still have that Star Jose gave you?”

MorganaCat: “This was shining the last time you looked at it, right? So it really was the effect of the Star… oh - well of course it was, now that I think about it! There’s no other way that the idea of a cat converting into a helicopter could suddenly become a common cognition.”

newmascotresized: Is this a Doraemon reference? I feel like it probably is.

MorganaCat: “Well, we’re through with the Metaverse, and it only happened in the most extreme of emergencies… so I have a feeling that won’t be happening again anytime soon.”

newmascotresized: At this point, we receive messages from anyone we are eligible for the Valentine’s Day date with, which is to say everyone.

newmascotresized: There is no opportunity to save - the last save you’re allowed is just before where this update begins. The best part? NONE OF THE CUTSCENES ARE SKIPPABLE. You have to fast-forward through all of it, and it takes like 8 minutes per run.

newmascotresized: Have I mentioned that by default, the game breaks your fast-forward every time the scene changes? That means you have to manually start it up again during all of those scenes with the non-party confidants, because I forgot to turn continuous fast forward on.

newmascotresized: In case you’re wondering, the ‘don’t respond’ choice doesn’t do what it should - it’s actually the option to get Ryuji and Yusuke’s non-canon Valentine’s event.

newmascotresized: I picked Hifumi’s date, because the canon date will be going up right after this. I may just refer people to the Youtube videos for the Valentine’s dates because 8 minutes per recording run is kinda BS.

newmascotresized: Anyway, I should mention that the Valentine’s Yusu-Gay is based off the White Day event (which we’ll see next update) because the Valentine’s/White Day distinction is apparently kinda awkward for non-straight couples.

newmascotresized: From what I understand, some couples do Valentine’s Day only, some do White Day only, some do both but without the stupid “3 times the return” nonsense on White Day.

Sojiro: “Don’t you have anything exciting happening? I mean, you’ve been here nearly a whole year. Y’know, when I was young, hoo boy…”

Sojiro: “Ohhh… you should’ve just told me. Here, I’ll leave the store to you. Enjoy yourselves…”

Hifumi: “Thank you very much. It’s been a while…”

Hifumi: “Th-That’s not what this is about. I was really scared, you know… you are unbelievable.”

Hifumi: “Oh, no… it’s not like I’m trying to lecture you… the reason I’m here today is…”

Hifumi: “I’m glad. Just… don’t expect too much from the taste.”

newmascotresized: From what I remember, all of the Valentine’s Day chocolates are a full HP and SP heal. The notable part is that they transfer to New Game Plus should you decide to do that for some reason.

Hifumi: “…I was still stressed when I came here, but seeing you helps. I feel like I can finally breathe again.”

Hifumi: “How to put it… people still call me the Phony Princess. But to be honest, I like it better than being treated like an idol. It’s really freeing.”

Hifumi: “Now I can focus on shogi. From now on, I’ll strive to be the best player, professional and otherwise. And… I hope I’ll still have you at my side.”

newmascotresized: Straight Joker: “Sure thing, Yukiko. I mean, Hifumi.”

Hifumi: “Um… is something wrong?”

Hifumi: “Is… that so. May I sit with you?”

Hifumi: “In a heartbeat. Unfortunately, I don’t think it can be that simple. I suppose… people change, and that’s that. Both of us have.”

Hifumi: “I do feel like there’s something different about you. It’s hard to explain. Something in how you carry yourself…?”

newmascotresized: Wait, so what you’re saying is… there’s something about Joker, it’s hard to explain, they’re talking about him… but he’s still the same?

Hifumi: “Well… it seems like a positive change, whatever it is. But I’ve changed myself, I suppose. I never felt distressed being alone, until I met you… but there’s a change even more drastic than that.”

Hifumi: “To be so devoted to someone in heart and mind, I’d do anything for them. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt.”

Hifumi: “…That means I’m quite serious about you… and I will not allow a redo…”

newmascotresized: If you date more than one person, there’s an extra scene on the 15th.

Sae: “I was wondering if you’d like this. There’s no obligation, of course.”

newmascotresized: In case you’re wondering, “giri-choco” is an “obligation chocolate” that you give to friends and co-workers and such… as opposed to what Hifumi gave us, which is a “honmei-choco” or “favorite chocolate”.

Sae: “You’ve helped me through a lot. I wanted to express my appreciation. …Sorry for how this is coming off. I didn’t mean for it to seem like I’m just dumping my leftovers on you.”

Sae: “I’m the one who should be thanking you. So… thank you, Kurusu-kun.”

Sojiro: “Well, look at this hotshot. Lucky guy, having a gorgeous lady drop by this early just to give you treats.”

Sae: “I hope you don’t mind that I stopped by today. No doubt you already got some from someone special? I should really be going, anyway. Sorry to impose.”

Sae: “And this is hardly the end of my debt, of course. Chocolate isn’t going to cover all you’ve done for me. See you around.”

MorganaCat: “Weren’t girls supposed to give chocolate to the guys they like yesterday? Hey… are you going to be okay? My gentlemanly nature is making me worry about you…”

Sojiro: “Outside the store, is that… whoa!”

newmascotresized: This scene doesn’t really make much sense when you remember that Kawakami can’t be seen with Joker in public. Haru looks like an angry poodle.

Makoto: “…I saw the light on in here last night. Did you think you’d just try and trick this romantically impaired fool?”

Haru: “I was worried about you, so I came to check on you yesterday… you could have just said you were busy… even if you had to lie about what you were doing…”

Ann: “So you already have a favorite!? I came to say hello yesterday… but when I looked in the window, you were with someone else! You dick!”

newmascotresized: This is almost as good as the scene in P4 Golden where you ditch everyone else for Yukiko.

Futaba: “Yesterday… who were you with…?”

Chihaya: “I got worried yesterday, so I read my own fortune… it said that you’re seeing someone else…”

Tae: “…You seem to be doing well. Did my little guinea pig forget to turn off his lights last night?”

Kawakami: “You’re such a problem child… I left work early yesterday to see how you were… and I saw you with someone else. What the heck am I doing…?”

newmascotresized: Kawakami is going to become the teacher from Boy’s Abyss and go murderously insane.

Ohya: “I got quite the scoop yesterday… a boyfriend caught cheating! I’m not very happy about it, though.”

Sumire: “I don’t want to suspect you of anything, Akira-senpai… but if something’s going on, I wanna know.”

newmascotresized: I have no idea what Chihaya’s English VA sounds like, but I imagine her saying this the way Astraea says “Go on, take your precious Demon’s Soul”.

Sojiro: “Hey kid, say something…”

newmascotresized: In the Gay Joker canon, Joker does date everyone… as a means of fucking up Maruki’s reality from the get-go. If everyone is horny for him, and they can’t all have him, then Maruki can’t give them a world without pain.

newmascotresized: In fact, this was originally going to be a Yusu-Gay, where all of the female party members (and Yusuke) break free on day one and the party kills Maruki in January, when Joker and Akechi initially meet him.

Makoto: “Are you making a fool of me!?”

Haru: “Enough of this irresponsible behavior…!”

Ann: “…You’re the scum of the earth!”

Futaba: “I’m disappointed…”

Chihaya: “Are you being serious?”

Tae: “You’ll pay for this.”

Kawakami: “Stop messing around…!”

Ohya: “Sooo not funny…”

Sumire: “You’re terrible, Senpai…”

Sojiro: “Oh, uh… I was just about to go shopping… take your time…”

Sojiro: “What a pain. I had to come up with this whole web of lies for you. ‘I was having him help out at the store. I didn’t realize it was Valentine’s Day. Don’t worry, he always talks about you. You’re his one and only…’ that was enough to get you off the hook for now…”

Sojiro: “But make sure your story matches mine, got it?”

newmascotresized: Next time, we’ll finish the game. Oh, and I’ll post the Valentine’s Yusu-Gay.

Summary

So now that Frodo and Sam got rescued from the erupting Mt. Doom and then recovered and met up with everyone again and Aragorn was crowned and the Hobbits returned home and Joker’s out of prison and we had Valentine’s Day so now we just need to show Joker still carries the scars from being in the expansion before he joins the Elves in sailing across the ocean.

Shoji Meguro seems to get bored of styles easily. If you compare the tracks from Nocturne Maniax and base Nocturne, they sound nothing alike. I guess I Believe is a little P3-ish. Has similar vibes to Burn My Dread.

Keep Your Faith is classic Meguro, though. Sounds like a cleaner, jazzier (and sleepier) Digital Devil Saga track. Keep Your Faith and Throw Away Your Mask are probably the best tracks in all of P5 imo, which is pretty sad.

Shigenori, no! What have you do-- Okay, I’m losing perspective. All the Shadows have had goofy designs. I think we all have to accept that Shadow Sae’s was the least terrible. Oh, actually there’s Shadow Futaba, too…

Looking at Phantom Thief Maruki some more, it looks like Soejima Shigenori might have been trying to emulate the style of Kazuma Kaneko’s more unhinged designs. Kaneko’s SMT designs for human characters have actually been his more restrained stuff. In Maken, and in his light novel illustrations, he really cuts loose.

Or Maruki’s design is some reference I’m not getting, of course.

This is probably a reference to the Ahriman fight from Nocturne. Azathoth kind of resembles Ahriman, too. Oh, now that I think about it, I guess Maruki’s goals sort of resemble Hikawa’s reason of Stillness. References!

After the torrent of references to other things, and Joker doesn’t say “Jackpot”. Very disrespectful to Dante from the Devil May Cry series, Atlus.

I was about to type “this was done better in The Man Who Was Thursday”, but it wasn’t. This was done equally badly in The Man Who Was Thursday.

In the effort of transforming into a helicopter, Morgana accidentally pooped out Joker.

Final Update: Saying Goodbye

newmascotresized: Well, here we are. The final story update of Persona 5 Royal. Let’s get to it.

Ryuji: “No, I’d prefer you stick around. Everyone I owe somethin’ to has gotta hear this. …I’m thinkin’ about movin’ away.”

Haru: “Moving?”

Ryuji: “It’s just, a helluva lot’s happened this past year, y’know? It’s gotten me thinkin’ about the future… and how I still wanna get back on the track team.”

newmascotresized: This scene wasn’t in the base game, and most likely isn’t canon because Ryuji is still in Tokyo as of Persona 5 Strikers, which takes place in the summer of 2017.

newmascotresized: You can tell the writers for Royal wrote this because of the “I want to be back on the track team” line that proves they didn’t fucking read the script for the base game.

Ryuji: “That’s why I wanna move closer to a physical rehab facility, get my knee fixed up while goin’ to school… at the earliest, all this is gonna kick off startin’ next month.”

Yusuke: “I see… that is quite sudden.”

Ann: “…”

Yusuke: “Ann?”

Ann: “Actually, I’ve got some news, too… I’m in the middle of looking into studying abroad - just short-term. I’ve been wondering what would be the smartest move for my career, so…”

newmascotresized: Ann’s going to contact her agent and see if she can get them to make a sequel to Eternal Punishment so she can play Lisa Silverman.

Yusuke: “You’re moving too?”

Makoto: “Both Haru and I are looking for places to live on our own, starting next month. In fact, our moves will probably occur around the same time as Ryuji’s.”

newmascotresized: Also not canon, because Makoto is in Strikers.

Haru: “I plan to keep learning about the business while also attending college. That’s why Mako-chan and I were talking about how we won’t be able to get together like we used to.”

Futaba: “Um… so… I passed the entrance exam! I’m gonna be a high-schooler starting in April. First high school, then college… then, I can finally research cognitive psience for real.”

newmascotresized: The writers apparently forgot that cognitive psience only worked because the Metaverse existed, and since it no longer exists…

Yusuke: “Even you, Futaba? No - I apologize. I should be wishing you all the best of luck.”

Futaba: “Nah, you do have a point - we are going our separate ways…”

Ryuji: “Oh, you mean the bonds we all have? Heh, that’s a great point!”

Yusuke: “…It seems you’re all taking great strides forward. I, however, will not be going anywhere until I’ve completed my current painting. No matter how many years it takes, I will express this feeling that’s grown within me since we first banded together.”

Ryuji: “That’s still some kinda stride though, ain’t it?”

MorganaCat: “No matter what we may go through, or how many times we may stumble, we’ll follow the path we believe in… that’s what the Phantom Thieves are all about!”

Futaba: “Stop trying to be such a cool cat!”

MorganaCat: “I am NOT a cat… yeah, I guess I am.”

Ryuji: “There’s still no way I’m acceptin’ Doc’s reality, but if it weren’t for goin’ through that, I dunno if I woulda felt this way now. It’s like, followin’ through with what I wanna do in life… I guess I learned how to really believe in my future?”

Ann: “In that case, wouldn’t you say Sumire learned the same thing? I mean, she is at training camp right now.”

newmascotresized: One thing you’ll notice right away is that Sumire is in almost none of the post-game material in a way that feels a lot like “Poochie died on the way back to his home planet”.

Yusuke: “Indeed. While her viewpoint may differ from the Phantom Thieves’ beliefs, there’s still much we can learn from her.”

newmascotresized: Didn’t she get over that when the “I’m my sister” magic went away?

Futaba: “Oh! That reminds me - Sumire left something with me! She told me she forgot to give us this the other day.”

newmascotresized: Anyway, I have no clue what made the writers do this weird 180-degree pivot with Sumire. First she was in every other cutscene taking up tons of time for dumb shit, and now she’s not even in the game.

newmascotresized: The only thing I can think of is that maybe the writers secretly fucking hated Sumire the whole time, and that Sumire being pushed so hard was a directive from corporate.

Futaba: “Guess it was lyin’ on the ground when we got out of Dr. Maruki’s Palace.”

Ann: “…This article!”

Yusuke: “It’s the case about Dr. Maruki’s loved one - the one whose family was murdered…”

Futaba: “I’d be willing to bet… this is Doc’s Treasure.”

MorganaCat: “So, her case was the origin of Maruki’s distortion…”

newmascotresized: No fucking shit! There was only a giant fucking statue of her in the palace! Plus that stupid cutscene!

Futaba: "…Would you hold on to this, Akira?’

Ryuji: “We’ve all gotta keep livin’ with our eyes focused on our dreams… otherwise, Dr. Maruki’s gonna give us all kinds of shit.”

newmascotresized: As far as I’m concerned, Maruki is banished to the “Dead and never coming back” zone with Akechi.

Haru: “…You’re absolutely right.”

Sojiro: “Well, I’m very impressed. You’ve all become quite mature. So let me throw you a little celebration in honor of the next chapters of your lives. Order whatever you’d like, on me.”

Makoto: “Thank you.”

Futaba: “Aw yeah! It’s all you can eat and drink, people!”

Sojiro: “Huh?”

Sojiro: “Uh, that wasn’t what I said… could you at least go easy on me?”

newmascotresized: This is the last time we’ll hear from Sumire.

newmascotresized: Sumire died shortly after this pose. Death by gymnastics, except not in a way I can laugh at like Gymkata.

MorganaCat: “Sumire’s standing on her own two feet now. We’ll fight for our goals, too!”

Sojiro: “White Day. That’s tomorrow, right? You, uh… you had kind of a rough Valentine’s Day. So now you got a chance to redeem yourself.”

newmascotresized: Those last two sentences aren’t there if you didn’t date more than one person, and that’s the only change to this scene.

Sojiro: “So now you got a chance to redeem yourself. What’s your plan? You’ve at least got some kinda present ready, right?”

newmascotresized: On the Yusu-Gay route, it simply cuts here and goes to the date, which I’ve already posted.

Sojiro: “Get it together, kid… sometimes I don’t know if you’re fearless or just plain careless. Fine. Listen up, and I’ll give you the recipe for the ultimate date.”

newmascotresized: This is kind of rich coming from a 50-something unmarried guy who only sorta kinda dated one person who is now dead.

MorganaCat: “Whoa, the chief has an ultimate date plan? I better listen in too, just in case.”

Sojiro: “First off… you’re gonna need a gift. This won’t work without one. Can’t go wrong with flowers. Just make sure you buy them before the date.”

newmascotresized: I’m surprised Sojiro didn’t mention the whole “the man gets the woman something that costs three times what the woman gave him” bullshit. White Day is corporate propaganda. No, really.

newmascotresized: I think they mentioned it in the article I linked in the last update, but it was started by a Japanese candy company and named after the color of the candy they made.

Sojiro: “You gotta present them near the end. Surprise her. So you can’t let her see you buying them on the date, got it?”

MorganaCat: “Aha… gotta give them flowers, huh? I gotta take notes…”

newmascotresized: If this was the next game I’m considering LPing, Sojiro would go on to say that the flowers have a 0.01% drop rate from a specific enemy in a dungeon you have to pay to enter.

Sojiro: “Next, think about where you’re taking her. You’re gonna want somewhere with the right atmosphere, but it’s gotta be peaceful… oh, how about that new aquarium exhibit in Shinagawa? Just saw a commercial for it. Might be a good spot, right?”

MorganaCat: “The aquarium’s a good place for a date… I see.”

Sojiro: “Now, once the date part’s over, you gotta take her out to dinner. Somewhere nice, too. But it’s kind of last-minute to make reservations. All the fancy places get booked pretty fast around White Day.”

MorganaCat: “Okay, right, too late to make any reservations - wait, what!?”

Sojiro: “…Dammit. I don’t usually do this, but… I know a place. Can’t guarantee anything. I bet they’re full up, too. But you might get an edge if you mention my name.”

MorganaCat: “Wow, amazing! The chief has connections!”

Sojiro: “So once you’re at dinner, you get to talking, enjoying yourselves… that’s when you give it to her.”

Sojiro: “Good, you were paying attention. It’s the perfect time to surprise her. …That oughta do it. Just follow the plan, and you’re safe.”

MorganaCat: “Wow! This plan is foolproof! Leave it to the chief!”

Sojiro: “Well, I taught you my secrets. The rest is on you. Do your prep, and make those reservations.”

Sojiro: “Good luck. On that note, I’m going home. Now it’s up to you.”

MorganaCat: “You should start prepping right away. Don’t waste the chief’s advice, all right?”

MorganaCat: “White Day is crazy, huh… but don’t worry, Akira! All you have to do is mention the chief!”

newmascotresized: This feels like Shenmue for some reason. I played that recently for the first time. It’s… a game, that’s for sure.

MorganaCat: “Dang! The chief has serious clout!”

MorganaCat: “Okay, your dinner plans are locked in. Now you just gotta get the flowers, and then it’s off to the aquarium and dinner! It’s gonna be busy tomorrow, so we’d better get rest while we can.”

newmascotresized: I accidentally missed a line from the flower shop owner, but you can see it in the background so it’s not a huge deal.

MorganaCat: “Hold on! Let me cover this one. You’ve been taking care of me yourself, so… I need to express appreciation for you, too.”

newmascotresized: Plant puns.

MorganaCat: “Okay, now you’re all ready for the date. You know who you plan on inviting… right? Don’t worry, I’m a gentleman who knows his manners. I won’t be tagging along. All right, good luck out there!”

newmascotresized: We’ll be inviting Hifumi. White Day is a lot less terrible to record because you can save immediately before visiting the florist.

Hifumi: “To… Shinagawa? Sure… let me get my things, and I’ll head over. I’ll see you later…”

Hifumi: “Everything here is so ethereal… I’ve never been to an aquarium before. It’s beautiful… this might be a good way to relax my mind before a match.”

Hifumi: “…Then again, I don’t know if I’d feel so calm without you at my side. In that case, perhaps it’s not that I should visit the aquarium, but that I should come see you?”

Hifumi: “…! I-I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking! Please, forget you heard anything… A-Ah, right, more importantly… today is White Day, isn’t it? Would it be safe to assume the timing of our date was no accident?”

Hifumi: “So I was right… you’ve no idea how much I wanted to hear that.”

Hifumi: “It appears the exhibit is almost over. I wish the evening didn’t have to end so soon…”

Hifumi: “What…? W-Well then… if it means more time with you, all the better.”

Hifumi: “This can’t be standard fare for high school couples, can it?”

newmascotresized: Given that it’s anime high school, it probably actually is.

Hifumi: “A fine point, well made. As long as I know I’m in your heart, I’ll be happy. Hee hee… that confidence suits you. I see traces of my valient partner in the great wars of shogi.”

Hifumi: “And, perhaps… a partner I can rely on in my life beyond the board.”

Hifumi: “It’s only fitting that I devote myself to supporting you in turn. I’m sorry… please, excuse me a moment.”

Hifumi: “What could this be?”

Hifumi: “Thank you so much… the restaurant alone was stunning, but you even got me a beautiful gift… I… don’t know how to thank you.”

newmascotresized: The bouquet is the one they use for Ann and Morgana’s Showtime, which is actually not a terrible re-use of assets.

Hifumi: “I’ll make it up to you, starting next year. No, starting now. You take such good care of other people… you put their needs before your own without a second thought.”

Hifumi: “It’s one of the reasons I respect you so much. And yet… respect alone isn’t enough. One day, I hope I can emulate that selflessness myself.”

Hifumi: “It’s a goal I can devote myself to. But… that can wait until tomorrow, perhaps? Right now, as long as we don’t have a shogi board in the way… the only thing I want to be devoted to is you.”

newmascotresized: You know, it’s kinda weird that they’re having this big intimate moment when Joker is moving away forever in less than a week.

newmascotresized: And here we are. This is the end of the game. Compared to Persona 4, it sucks.

Futaba: “Sojiro said you don’t have to help out here today.”

Sojiro: “Go and see your friends before you leave.”

Sojiro: “Mm. Off you go then.”

Futaba: “Try not to cry.”

newmascotresized: Today’s objective is to talk to every confidant we have maxed out, which is to say all of them. Sumire will be notably absent, as will Akechi (because he’s fucking dead).

Futaba: “Kana-chan passed her high school entrance exam! She sent me a message this morning! I told her I was getting into high school too, and she says we can make our student debuts together!”

Futaba: “So, like, I did it! Right? I fulfilled the promise to go to high school!”

Futaba: “Yesss! Mission complete! …Well, mission started, anyway. I still hafta actually graduate. If I’m being honest, I’m actually… really, really nervous about it.”

Futaba: “I dunno if I can make friends, this is way outta my comfort zone, everything I think about’s giving me anxiety… but - I know I can’t stay in my room forever. And that’s way more important.”

Futaba: “And I wanna get into college. Major in real cognitive psience. Like my mom… and Dr. Maruki.”

newmascotresized: Maxed-out confidants will give you their item today, which is something that happened in Persona 4 the moment you hit Rank 10.

newmascotresized: These items give you some (but not all) of the abilities from the confidant they belong to. As far as I know, they don’t work like the items in Persona 4 did and allow you to fuse the ultimate Persona associated with them - this is why you want to have everything you need for Satanael fused before you fight Maruki.

Futaba: “For now… I’ll give up my notebook, and that reward. The one where I don’t have to leave you, I mean. And when I make my dream come true one day, when I’ve earned it, I’ll… I’ll take them both back.”

newmascotresized: Now, here’s what I fucking HATE about this shit. In Persona 4, the max confidant items all had descriptions with actual writing in them. This game?

newmascotresized: Nah, fuck that. That takes effort, and we all know what Hashino’s stance on effort is.

Sojiro: “Just remember to pack once you get back, you hear? I don’t want you forgetting anything important here.”

Sojiro: “Oh yeah, I forgot about this… the diary of the Phantom Thieves’ leader, huh? Probably gonna be worth a lot someday. …Thanks, though. I’ll keep it safe.”

Sojiro: “Well, we’ve all been through a lot… but it seems like everything’s changed for the better. Try to behave yourself back home, would ya? Ah, not like you ever listen to me anyway…”

newmascotresized: The recipe notes unlock the ability to make the best curry and best coffee. This is marginally more useful in a New Game + run because you don’t need to spend nights boosting stats.

Sojiro: “Here, I want you to have these. I’ve got 'em memorized already. With that stuff, you can make the same… well, no, that’d be a waste. Put your own spin on the flavor. Develop it. Make it yours.”

newmascotresized: All of the female confidants who you are on the romance route with will send you messages. I immediately got the two worst ones out of the way.

Makoto: “But… I wanted to see you before you left, Akira. It won’t be long until I’m living alone, too. We’ll both have to get used to the quiet.”

newmascotresized: “You can do it, Makoto. You can develop an actual personality.”

Makoto: “Somehow it’s easier to believe when I hear you say it, Akira… my sister and I are actually going to go look at my new place soon. A year ago, all this would have been unthinkable for me.”

newmascotresized: The real question is, how is she paying for an apartment in Tokyo? As far as I understand it, living there is crazy fucking expensive and she’s going to college.

Makoto: “But nobody told me to do this. It’s a path I chose for myself. Of course, I’d never have gotten to this point alone. You gave me the push I needed, Akira.”

Makoto: “Back then, I was just another honor student. Meeting you helped me change how I define myself.”

newmascotresized: Makoto’s item unlocks all of one ability, which is the one that lets you see whether the attack you’re about to use will be nulled/repelled/absorbed or not.

Makoto: “So I want you to have this. It helped me learn to love studying. One day, I’ll be a police commissioner. I know it won’t be easy… but I also know I’ll never give up.”

Makoto: “By giving this to you, I want to prove that. And… I hope it’ll comfort you when I can’t be there myself. It doesn’t matter if we’re far apart. Our hearts will be as close as ever… and that’ll help me keep fighting.”

newmascotresized: While we’re in Akihabara looking for Mishima, we can stop and meet that idol again.

newmascotresized: By the way, the official name of the song is “He’s a Trick * ster” which uh… yeah.

Mishima: “So you’re finally heading home tomorrow, huh? I guess this means the Phantom Thieves have disbanded… my documentary script is going well though. It’s not really close to done, but it’s coming along.”

Mishima: “Ugh, there’s still so much to do… I don’t wanna think about that right now. But just because I don’t have a time limit doesn’t mean I’m slacking off. I want to do this right.”

Mishima: “Makes me wonder how many people I can reach with my work… it’s exciting, but kind of scary, too. It might be a bestseller… or it might just fade into obscurity.”

Mishima: “But I want to put my hope into this. It’s a message from the old me to everyone in the world. So… even if I’m scared of failing, I’ll face this head-on! Just like you did with that first calling card!”

Mishima: “Oh yeah… it’s still a pretty early draft, but…”

newmascotresized: Mishima’s item unlocks everything he can give you, rendering him pointless on a New Game + run.

Mishima: “It’d mean a lot if you could read it sometime. I could really use your feedback. You probably had tons of crazy fights I don’t even know about, right?”

Mishima: “So we should sit down and talk about them sometime. The more of it I get on record, the better. I’ll make sure the story of John Persona goes down in history!”

Lavenza: “I have some words of reflection for you in this time of parting. This twisted, broken world sought to crush you. Yet you salvaged it, and with your ideals stitched it whole.”

Lavenza: “You were a true Trickster of this modern age. A beloved champion of a burdened public. And a man of such great heights… well, where will his path take him next, I wonder?”

Lavenza: “…Now, I don’t know about that. To accompany a Trickster on so twisting and winding a path? I fear I’d soon be outpaced. … I have more than mere words to give you today though.”

Lavenza: “Allow me to grant you a parting gift, not as the one who leads you, but simply as Lavenza. This is my blessing to you, to carry on your journey.”

newmascotresized: This unlocks all of Caroline and Justine’s abilities, but does not unlock them until you’ve started their confidant.

Lavenza: “You were confined to your cell for so long. Now, at least, it seems only right that you bear its key. In the past, guests of the Velvet Room have received their keys upon their very first visits.”

newmascotresized: I don’t know what she’s talking about. Jihei and Tatsuya never had keys and just walked right into a store in the mall that presumably anyone could go into.

Lavenza: “However, I was unable to pass it on to you at that point. This is the least I can do for you now… with this key in hand, you will be able to break free of whatever trials may imprison you in the future.”

newmascotresized: The writers for Strikers clearly never read this (even though it’s unchanged from the base game) because the Velvet Room is still a prison there.

Lavenza: “Though of course, you have already chosen the path of true freedom. By inspiring others to take up arms, and fight for their own beliefs… you may change the world itself.”

Yoshida: “I recall the days… when you helped me out with my speeches here.”

Yoshida: “We’ll be treading separate paths, but as long as we share a common purpose, I’m sure I’ll see you again. If I’ve earned the support of an upright young man like you, well… that must surely be my greatest achievement.”

Yoshida: “You expect farewells to be so sad, but here we are, beaming… from now on, your life is your own to live. Now. I suppose I’d better send you off with a parting gift.”

Yoshida: “It’s an incredibly expensive fountain pen I bought back when I had strayed from the right path. Embarrassingly enough, I hardly used it. I hope you’ll put it to better use than I did.”

newmascotresized: I’m not sure if that gift is sending the message you’re intending it to, but it unlocks all of Yoshida’s abilities.

Chihaya: “I’m going to be lonely here since you’re leaving tomorrow, but… I’ll work hard so I will continue to grow while I wait for you to return.”

Chihaya: “Oh, is that so! Well, in that case, I should work extra hard. I’ve been receiving encouragement from my clients lately. I’ve realized… what may first seem like an obstacle can actually be a valuable, meaningful stepping stone.”

newmascotresized: She sounds like she picked up a self-help book written in the 80s and… wait, wasn’t that what she actually did?

Chihaya: “If I hadn’t left my hometown and ended up here, I couldn’t have used my powers to help people. And… more importantly, I’d never have met you, Kurusu-san.”

Chihaya: “Here - this card represents your future. Please, take it as a good luck charm.”

newmascotresized: Chihaya’s item was nerfed from the base game for some weird reason - in the base game, it unlocked everything. In Royal, it unlocks all of the readings except the Rank 10 one.

Chihaya: “An upright Fortune card represents happiness to come, but it’s an omen of doom when reversed… then again, it seems like you have the power to bring joy to anyone’s fate.”

Chihaya: “I understand now. We don’t have to cling to fate - we can change it with our own hands.”

Ohya: “Isn’t it kinda refreshing to see each other like this in broad daylight? Okay, let’s start off this celebratory moment with something to drink!”

Ohya: “That’s the spirit! Oh, sorry, I was just kidding. You can join in on the booze once you’re of age. …So, I’m thinking it’s time for me to write an article about Kayo’s case.”

Ohya: “Ever since all that stuff happened with Shido, the stories haven’t stopped rolling in. …But it looks like I can finally avenge her. And it’s all thanks to your hard work.”

newmascotresized: Wait, didn’t they only get him on the finance crimes because no one can prove the Metaverse exists?

Ohya: “You know, you and I are partners now. In a lot of ways. Here. It’s a record of all the struggles we shared.”

newmascotresized: This unlocks all of Ohya’s abilities, which admittedly weren’t much to begin with.

Ohya: “So this is it, huh? You go your way, and I go mine? It’s gonna get so boring around here… though something tells me going home isn’t gonna keep you from stirring up some trouble. Call it a reporter’s hunch, I guess.”

Ohya: “I suppose you’re just a permanent person of interest. So no dropping off the map, okay?”

newmascotresized: We can also say goodbye to Lala.

Kawakami: “Even though it’s Sunday, aren’t you nervous being at school, just the two of us? It sure was a crazy year, huh? Try to be a little more diligent with school once you’re home.”

newmascotresized: By ‘diligent’ she means ‘try not dating your teacher’.

Kawakami: “That’s the spirit. But this is the last time we’ll see each other for a while. You can at least look a little sad about it. I’m kidding. Honestly, seeing you so happy gives me peace of mind.”

Kawakami: “This year has felt so fulfilling… I had to take care of you sometimes, but I also learned from you. So this isn’t meant to thank you for all of that, but…”

newmascotresized: Kawakami’s item unlocks the only ability anyone gives a shit about: the massages. This guarantees you several extra nights that you will never, ever use because you probably have max social stats.

Kawakami: “You get special treatment, Master…<3 So… make sure you let me know if you need anything, okay? It wasn’t even for that long but… you’re my student and my master.”

newmascotresized: And so the kouhai becomes the senpai.

Kawakami: “No matter where you are, no matter how long it takes, you’ll always have me. Take care. If you ever need me, just say the word, and I’m there.”

Tae: “I wanted to update you on Miwa-chan. Her symptoms subsided thanks to the new medicine. She still has some way to go, but… it won’t be too long until I get to see her smile.”

Tae: “Yeah, I’m relieved too. …I wouldn’t have been able to finish the new medicine without your help. Thank you so much, my little guinea pig - oh, I guess I can’t call you that now that you’ve helped me so much.”

Tae: “Same goes for the situation with Oyamada… you did everything you could to help me with it. I don’t know where all that devotion comes from. Maybe I should take a cue from you.”

Tae: “Here… I want you to have this.”

newmascotresized: Tae’s item gives you the ability to purchase all of her items - I’m not sure if it gives you the discount or not.

Tae: “So… here today, gone tomorrow, huh? Now I’m just a neighborhood doctor. No more assistant. Wonder if it’s gonna be rough without you. Well… the thought crossed my mind. But somehow I think we’ll be fine.”

Tae: “And hey. If I feel like it, I can always surprise you with a house call. Look after yourself, all right? Not just for your own sake.”

newmascotresized: While we’re here, we can do Sae’s event. Sae’s item is one of the two items you are guaranteed to get. It does NOTHING.

Sae: “I decided to stop by after work. I used to come by this area on occasion. I was always a fan of Leblanc’s coffee. …It’s tomorrow, right? The day you go home.”

Sae: “Ha, right - I"m taking you in. On the record, you’ve been cleared of all the crimes you were accused of. Unfortunately, the stigmas that came with them are a little harder to simply wipe away.”

Sae: “You might find that even now… sometimes, it’ll feel like the whole world’s against you. So, just in case… take this.”

Sae: “Whenever you need help, I’ll be on your side. Remember that. I’ll be doing my part to bring some real justice to our legal system. Can’t rely on the Phantom Thieves forever.”

newmascotresized: You know, I wondered around this point how many people even bothered to do a second playthrough, so let’s look at some stats.

newmascotresized: This is from P4 Golden on the Vita. The numbers are much lower on the Steam re-release, presumably because most people had already played it by the time the re-release happened.

newmascotresized: Defeating Margaret basically requires two complete playthroughs (or pretty close to it) so we can assume that around 9% bothered to complete a second run.

newmascotresized: Caroline and Justine have a significantly higher completion percentage in the base game… but that’s because you can fight them almost immediately and roll them with Satanael.

newmascotresized: It’s impossible to say how many people did this in Royal, due to Royal not having a trophy for defeating the Twins or Lavenza.

newmascotresized: Anyway, there’s some NPCs from Tae’s confidant outside the clinic and the dialog is amusing enough that I’ll post it.

Ann: “It still hasn’t hit me that you’ll be gone soon. I’m busy getting ready for my study abroad, too. Gotta research schools, places to live… we’re gonna be pretty far away from each other.”

Ann: “Wha - But I’ll be on the other side of the world! And you’ve got tons to deal with already! Then again, it’s not like that’s stopped you before… okay then… I’ll be waiting. Drop by whenever you want.”

Ann: “By the way, um… a little girl stopped me the other day in Shibuya. She said she saw me in magazines… and she wants to be just like me when she grows up. It felt incredible.”

Ann: “Oh right - Vague did a special piece on me in this month’s issue.”

newmascotresized: This gives us Ann’s ability to cancel enemy attacks.

Ann: “I said it all in the interview, but… I’m gonna work hard. One day, I’ll be modeling across the world. I’ve gotta reach people. I wanna give someone hope - like you did for me.”

Ann: “Maybe when you see me next, I’ll be a total bigshot. Some kinda fancy jet-setter lady…! Or maybe not.”

newmascotresized: I didn’t notice this when I recorded, but Kaoru is standing right behind Joker, which makes this entire conversation SUPER awkward.

Iwai: “Kaoru got accepted to high school. He’ll be a Shujin Academy student in the spring.”

Iwai: “…Apparently, he wants to become like you. Ain’t that dumb? You won’t even be at that school anymore. Well, being a bro means someone will be followin’ your footsteps.”

Iwai: “But I can’t leave everything to you. I’m the parent here, so I gotta do my job. …Oh yeah, here. It’s an Iwai-family gecko. Take good care of it, okay?”

newmascotresized: Iwai’s item unlocks all of his gun customization options, but not the discount or the Rank 10 ability that makes customization free.

Iwai: “Having you around the place helped me realize, times sure have changed… but I’m not goin’ obsolete just yet. I still got more to learn - just like you.”

Iwai: “Looks like you’ve got plenty of guys followin’ your lead now… I’m real glad we met. Take care.”

Haru: “You know, I’ve asked for your help so many times to this point… but thanks to you, the new coffee shop venture is progressing toward opening its first location.”

Haru: “Actually, I’ll be involved with its launch, even while attending college.”

newmascotresized: Haru’s smiling because she’s going to drive Sojiro out of business, along with every other local cafe.

Haru: “Well, quality tests are ongoing among my employees. We don’t want to lose that local brewing flavor. I can only imagine it’ll be difficult. I’ll have to balance my studies and managing the company…”

newmascotresized: If I was directing this, there would be a cut to a shot of Haru buying Colombia from the government. You know, for the ‘local flavor’.

Haru: “But it’s all for the sake of making my dream come true. I swear I’ll make this work. …That said, of course, it does make me a bit nervous. I have to wonder if it’s really within my power…”

Haru: “But as long as I have you, I have to ensure I’m worthy of your support - and your pride. By the way, I tried making something for you.”

newmascotresized: Haru’s item unlocks the ability that makes the crops grow faster.

Haru: “I’d like to sell handcrafted goods at my cafe as well… so this is the first step in my practice. I have my grandfather’s reputation to think of, after all… and my father’s legacy.”

Haru: “It has to be a comforting, welcoming space for everyone - someplace to spend your peaceful hours. When my cafe’s ready to open, you’ll be the first to know. I’ve already decided you’re going to be my first customer, Akira-kun.”

newmascotresized: You’ll notice Takekuma from Shinya’s storyline in the foreground. You can talk to him, but he doesn’t have much to say.

Ryuji: “Man, spring break’s supposed to be the most fun part of the year, but instead you’re just movin’ away… then again, so am I. I guess this is probably the last time we’ll be meeting up here.”

Ryuji: “Don’t even have to ask - I was already gonna do that. Spring break is gonna be boring as hell, anyway. Wait a sec, your hometown isn’t near the countryside, is it?”

Ryuji: “I was just thinkin’ it’d be great to run an’ train somewhere out where it’s all big, naturey open space. Honestly, even with the rehab, I dunno if my leg’s ever gonna be how it was before…”

Ryuji: “But when I think about how much I wanna run, well… I figure there’s no point lyin’ to myself. Nothing’s guaranteed. I dunno if I’m gonna get anywhere. But you could say that for any goal, right?”

Ryuji: “I don’t wanna live stuck on regrets, or shame. I’d rather just run… and keep on runnin’.”

newmascotresized: Ryuji’s item is another one nerfed from the base game. In the base game, it gave you Insta-Kill. In Royal, it gives you the ability that makes dashing stealthy and Harisen Recovery instead.

Ryuji: “And hey, you better practice too! See, if we share our times, we can even compete from far away. Man. When I think about going to school without guys… I dunno. I can’t imagine it.”

Ryuji: “It’s a nice feelin’ like I got a future worth lookin’ forward to for once, though. And it’s all thanks to you, man.”

Shinya: “You’re moving tomorrow, right? Don’t forget to practice at home!”

Shinya: “Yeah. Whatever happens from now on, I’m gonna keep winning too. And if I lose, then… I’ll deal with it! Just like you taught me, Kurusu-san. Oh, right. I returned the money… and he forgave me.”

Shinya: “We’re friends now, and he’s even playing Gun About with me! He’s still a total newbie, so I’m teaching him all the pro strats. Oh, but don’t stress. It’s not all boot camp this time - I’m going easier on him.”

Shinya: “…Thanks for everything, Kurusu-san. You’ve helped me so much, I’m gonna give you my secret weapon.”

newmascotresized: I thought this seemed kinda weird, but there were gun controllers for the PS3 and the Wii - and I wouldn’t be surprised if there was one for the PS4 as well.

newmascotresized: Anyway, this gives Joker all of Shinya’s abilities except Down Shot.

Shinya: “See, that’s my strategy. I used this to practice at home. But these days I’m kinda too busy helping mom, or playing with my friends.”

Shinya: “At first, I thought you were kind of weird, but… now, uh… you seem pretty cool. So… I’m still your teacher when it comes to games, but you’re my teacher in real life, Kurusu-san.”

Hifumi: “I have a shogi tournament tomorrow so I can’t see you off, but… um… have a safe trip.”

Hifumi: “…Please take care of yourself. I’ll visit once things have calmed down. If I do well, that will make it ten straight wins… I’ll work hard so I can give you a good report.”

Hifumi: “After hearing that you’re going home, I prepared myself for this moment every day… but somehow, seeing your face has dispelled all anxiety. If anything, I feel oddly optimistic.”

Hifumi: “It’s a strange clarity. Like I can see all possibilities on the board, and grasp all of them at once… thus, my next move is clear. I’d like to give you this.”

newmascotresized: Hifumi’s item is kind of a mystery. It only gives you her Rank 9 ability that gives you a 100% run chance from battle, and not the party swap abilities the game expects you have from the moment you’ve cleared Futaba’s dungeon.

Hifumi: “The lance piece moves exclusively forward. No other direction is possible until it is promoted. Our lives demand the maneuvers of a Lance. And so we shall continue onward on our own paths.”

Hifumi: “However, a promoted Lance can also move sideways. If so deployed, it can even end up next to another… so now we will part ways, if only briefly. When we have promoted, we’ll find each other again.”

newmascotresized: Finally, it’s time to visit our boyfriend.

Yusuke: “That’s right… you’ll be departing tomorrow. It’s sad to see this as a season of farewells, but I didn’t expect we’d all go our separate ways…”

Yusuke: “And that’s putting it mildly. This time last year… I’d never have imagined I’d meet you all, leave my home, or become a phantom thief.”

Yusuke: “Do you remember the painting I submitted to that competition? ‘Desire and Hope,’ it was. Well, I would like to bestow it upon you as a parting gift.”

newmascotresized: This allows you to use Yusuke’s skill card copying service, and I believe also gives you the instant copying ability.

Yusuke: “…As of now, my canvas is still blank. It’s not for lack of inspiration. There’s so much I want to express - I can barely contain my passion. But my heart has not led me astray yet. I’ll paint as it guides me.”

Yusuke: “Even should I scar my work with doubt, hesitation, chaos… certainly, that’s a beauty all its own. Your life is no worse for its own scars. Your truest beauty lies in them, and I hope you tell me their stories someday.”

newmascotresized: Anyway, that’s everyone. You can’t say goodbye to Sumire, and I’m not sure why.

newmascotresized: This reminds me of Persona 4 a little and makes me remember how much better Persona 4 was. “Your friends are waiting for you, do you REALLY want to go back to Junes?”

MorganaCat: “Hey, um… I actually have a present for you too, Akira.”

newmascotresized: Morgana’s item gives you Pickpocket, an ability I don’t think I ever saw at any point. It’s supposed to let you steal items if you melee attack.

MorganaCat: “Even when I was human, I kept holding onto this for some reason. Between a cat, a human, or some kind of vehicle… it’s been hard to say for sure who or what I am.”

newmascotresized: Apart from horny for human women.

MorganaCat: “But whatever else I am, I can say without a doubt… I’m your partner. Well then… we should probably go home and get packed, huh?”

Sojiro: “Well, how’d it go? Did it make you feel like you wanna stay?”

Sojiro: “I see. You must’ve made a lot of good memories here. You’re leaving early tomorrow from Shibuya, right? Make sure you pack up before you head to sleep.”

Sojiro: “Oh, and take that stupid cat with you. I don’t want it getting lost and ending up back here.”

MorganaCat: “Don’t make fun of me! I can go wherever I want all by myself!”

Sojiro: “It really never stops meowing, huh? Hey Futaba, what’s he saying? Is he sad that he has to leave me?”

Sojiro: “What!?”

MorganaCat: “What kind of translation is that!? Let me have a nice goodbye!”

Futaba: “Mona’s your responsibility now. Leave Sojiro to me!”

Futaba: “All right! I’ve been counted on!”

Sojiro: “Oh man…”

Futaba: “Even if you’re not here, I’ll make sure I do my best… so… you go do your best too, Akira!”

Sojiro: “You got everything? When I took you in, I thought I was the one helping you… but it turns out it was the other way around. …Take care.”

Sojiro: “Don’t be so cheeky. Oh, and sorry… I wanted to have Futaba see you off too… I haven’t been able to find her since this morning though. Same with that cat…”

Sojiro: “If you end up back in the city, come on by. I’ll at least treat you to a nice cup of coffee. …Wait, that means I can’t go closing the store, huh… what’re you doing? Hurry up and go.”

Sojiro: “…Yeah.”

newmascotresized: Wait a second, isn’t that the Shibuya scramble crosswalk? How the fuck did they manage to park a van there?

newmascotresized: You might notice that this line makes no sense, almost like I missed something. I didn’t. Let me explain what this cutscene is.

newmascotresized: This cutscene is a recut of the base game’s final cutscene, with a number of lines and several shots removed in order to slot in a piece that makes zero fucking sense.

newmascotresized: This shot is not in the base game. In the base game’s version of this scene, the party simply drives off into the horizon.

newmascotresized: I’m not sure who these guys are supposed to be. They’re not with the police, because while the police DO have an Anti-John Persona Squad in Strikers, they’ve forgotten the party exists.

newmascotresized: Seriously though, who the fuck are these people? The cutscene is acting like we’ve seen them before. I have to wonder if this was part of some dropped plot thread.

newmascotresized: Wait, what the fuck?

newmascotresized: You can see the black suits chasing the van, when they could pretty clearly see Joker get in the taxi. This entire ending is about as coherent as Futaba’s post-Casino bit in the base game.

newmascotresized: Why did they have to shoehorn Maruki into this final scene? I mean, other than because focus groups.

newmascotresized: Also, what the fuck is this dialog? This feels like it was meant to be a 10-minute cutscene and they just randomly cut bits of it out and glued them together until they got… whatever the fuck this is.

newmascotresized: This is the third time they use this exact shot.

newmascotresized: The second ticket is for Yusuke.

newmascotresized: Sumire gets reduced to two lines in a cutscene that probably isn’t canon.

newmascotresized: And roll credits. There’s some artwork in them that I’ll post.

newmascotresized: I have no idea who the fuck Daiki Ito is. The wiki doesn’t mention him as having worked on any other games - just P5 Royal. The other writer is Shinji Yamamoto, whose only other credit is SMT IV.

newmascotresized: Always a great sign when you have literal fucking nobodies working on your $60 triple-A re-release. Neither of these writers worked on SMT V, which gives me hope they’ll find a competent writing team for Persona 6.

newmascotresized: …Wait a second. Aren’t those the trans flag colors?

newmascotresized: I cut about a minute and a half of credits. And now, I hope you’re ready for some BULLSHIT.

newmascotresized: Joker’s phone goes off.

newmascotresized: Remember when Lavenza said there are no exceptions? The cutscene studio clearly was not aware of this.

newmascotresized: This reeks of sequel bait, and I hope there is never a fucking sequel. Let Persona 5 rot.

newmascotresized: And with that, it’s all over. I’d like to thank Eligap, Salty Vanilla, and Yokobox for doing the art for More Like Yusu-Gay and everyone else for reading as I screamed “Fuck” thousands of times.

newmascotresized: …And now I have to go back and record all those dates. Fuck.

Oh, right. I should probably talk about my next LP. I have a couple of thoughts on it - I might do a dunk session on SMT Imagine that would only cover a small fraction of the game (most of it’s procedurally generated anyway) or alternatively may do a game that allowed a probable war criminal to bounce back from one of the largest riots in United States history and do Police Quest IV.

…I may also just say “fuck it” and do Soul Hackers, though I’m not sure I can take four straight SMT games.

newmascotresized: Here’s a bonus Yusu-Gay I was going to do for Maruki’s dungeon but didn’t. On the Yusu-Gay route, there’s a final question in the psych eval puzzle that goes like this.

Marukevil: “Congrats! You’ve made it to the final question. This one’s for a certain someone, so if this question feels bizarre or nonsensical to you, please raise your hand and someone will let you out.”

Marukevil: “You’re a gay teenager who, like all teenagers, has a choice to make. You want a boyfriend, but you can’t decide which one to pick.”

Marukevil: “On the one hand, you have Boyfriend A, who is great, but might not have the most stable career path ahead of him. On the other, you have Boyfriend B, who was literally born from your wish to see him alive again and is the perfect boyfriend in every possible way because I made him that way, god dammit.”

Marukevil: “Just point at the correct boyfriend. That’s all you have to do. You don’t even have to take an elevator this time GOD DAMMIT GIVE ME SOME VALIDATION.”

It was called Persona 5 Strikers.

To clarify here, Hashino was director, producer, and co-writer on P5. Daiki Ito is just the director for P5R, and Yamamoto was also a co-writer on base P5. Honestly, an enhanced version is probably a good place for a first-time director to gain experience, since the game is basically done already. The additional content leaves something to be desired in this case, but so did the original game.

Aw man, I wanted to do some big, profound speech when you finally got to the end of this godforsaken game…but now it’s several days later and it’s midnight and I forgot what I was going to say, if I was ever going to say anything to begin with.

Well, first. Congratulations. You made it. The credits played. The Phantom Thieves narrowly evaded the sinister clutches of Foundation X, and Maruki became a taxi driver. Everything came, uh…full circle.

As for what you should LP next, I agree that even more SMT might be a bit much. A bit much for you to play, and a bit much for us to read. Or at least, for me to read. In the past year or two, I’ve gone from having played like half of Persona 3, to having either played (partially or in full) or seen LPs of: P1, P2IS, P3, P4, P5, SMT1, SMT3, SMT4 & 4A, SMT5, SMT If, SMT SJ, DDS1 & 2, Devil Survivor 2, Devil Summoner, and last and very much least, Raidou Kuzunoha vs The Soulless Army. And what I’ve gathered from this wealth of experience is this: SMT is just…miserable. Even Press Turn isn’t enough to overcome the existential exhaustion I get from just thinking about SMT.

But if you decided to LP Soul Hackers or whatever next, I would still read it.

In the words of Travis Touchdown, “Pain in my ass. Why aren’t you dead yet?”

And so ends the journey of John Persona. Was gay, did crime, no matter what Atlus tries to say.

Looking forward to your next thread, just hope that it’s something you enjoy LPing.

Summary

newmascotresized: Even though I’ve already started The Silver Case, I wanted to do this one last thing (I swear I’ll get to the dates someday but they just suck to do). This is the other bad ending for the Maruki arc.

newmascotresized: To get this ending, you have to deny Maruki in January and then not clear his dungeon by February 2nd. It’s also the only part of Maruki’s plot arc that I consider well written… apart from maybe the psych eval puzzle in his dungeon.

newmascotresized: Naturally, I had to borrow some footage for this.

Yusuke: “We couldn’t secure our route to the Treasure in time. To think we’d have this much trouble…”

newmascotresized: To be fair, Maruki’s dungeon sucks.

Makoto: “I’m not entirely certain, but… I wonder if our problem’s that we really can’t deny Dr. Maruki’s reality.”

Haru: “Mako-chan…”

Futaba: “…”

Ryuji: “Hey, don’t be all down like that! C’mon, Akira - say something!”

Ryuji: “Akira…”

Sumire: “…At any rate, tomorrow’s the day, right? We’ll be speaking with Dr. Maruki regardless of the answer.”

MorganaCat: “She’s right. We just have to reach a decision by tomorrow. Let’s call it a day for now.”

Ryuji: “…”

newmascotresized: On this route, the meeting with Maruki on the night of the 2nd never happens.

Marukevil: “In all honesty, I really wanted you to accept my gift of your own free will… but I see that demanding a decision from you is only making you suffer.”

newmascotresized: Wait, is this Maruki being a villain? Holy fuck, we can’t have that! Shut it down! Shut it down now! Our core metrics are fucking plummeting!

newmascotresized: WHERE THE FUCK WAS THIS DURING THE ACTUAL GAME!? FUCK!

newmascotresized: God dammit. They actually did something with this ending that no one will ever see unless they’re actively looking for it, and I hate it. This is why I’m glad I’m now doing a game written by someone who has actual talent.