Click Here for Update 109
: Man, I feel like it’s been forever since we’ve done confidants. I haven’t had to open the guide in what, like ten updates? Maybe more?
: It fucking gets me that this is almost a dig at Maruki, but then isn’t - and I know it isn’t because if it was, the writers would’ve spelled it out more.
: If Japan is the most prosperous country, doesn’t that mean that other countries (who also want to be the most prosperous) aren’t as happy?
: I’d like to remind you that in the actual 2017, people were pulling their money out of Japan en masse due to the government instituting negative interest rates the year before.
: “…Everyone’s faces look so calm for some reason. But this happiness can’t…”
: “There was somethin’ I wanted to talk to you about. If you’re free, I mean. Sweet, thanks! It was definitely worth waiting around… crap, is everyone else already at school!? We gotta book it, Akira!”
: “You’ve all heard of ‘The Restaurant of Many Orders’ by Kenji Miyazawa, right?”
: Kenji Miyazawa was a Japanese writer and poet who primarily wrote children’s literature. Only two of his works were published during his lifetime, with Restaurant of Many Orders being one of them.
: Miyazawa only became well-known after his death: one of his better-known stories is Night on the Galactic Railroad, which was never finished. It was adapted into an anime film in 1985.
: Unfortunately, he does have a bit of a problematic association that really isn’t his fault - one of his poems (from Spring and Asura, the only other thing he published while alive) was used by the Japanese government in the 1940s as war propaganda.
: There’s an English version of Restaurant of Many Orders titled “Once and Forever: The Tales of Kenji Miyazawa” if you’re interested in reading it yourself.
: “It was aimed at children, but even when you read it now, it really pulls you in. Speaking of, one of Kenji Miyazawa’s strengths is his sense of naming fictional lands in his stories.”
: “Ihatov is the most famous among them. This place is loosely named after the author’s hometown. Okay, now… Kurusu-kun. Where do you think the fictional land of ‘Ihatov’ is modeled after?”
: Miyazawa spent most of his life in Iwate, and supposedly (according to Wikipedia at least, but it’s unsourced and therefore probably bullshit) got the name from the Esperanto pronunciation of Iwate.
: Wikipedia also claims he died the day after spending an hour talking to a group of farmers about fertilizer, but we all know what actually killed him: Esperanto. That and tuberculosis.
: “Yup, that’s correct. ‘Ihatov’ is Kenji Miyazawa’s fantasy world… his utopia. A utopia is an ideal world, separate from our own world. Your own little paradise, huh? It’d be amazing if that actually existed.”
: “All the booze and meat you want! …Oh, but then I’d be fat. And perpetually hung over. You know what, maybe things aren’t so bad as they are.”
: “Kawakami is pretty realistic…”
: Why is this a fucking IM conversation!? Show don’t tell, you fucking idiots! Fuck! You had one fucking job!
: “Throwing away your past to live in blissful ignorance… yeah, I could never live like that either.”
: You’ll notice pretty quickly that all of the Rank 11s are the fucking same, just with slightly different wording to make it seem like a different character. This shit is peak lazy.
: “…Yeah, I had a feeling you’d get me. Well, there’s somethin’ I wanna talk about. Since we’re bros an’ all, I figured I’d just invite you over…”
: “Geez, that fast!? You don’t even know what it’s about yet! Just listen, okay? I want this apology to mean something, dammit.”
: “It’s like, you know how things have been for me? From the new year to a little while ago? How Dr. Maruki gave me a dream life, and I just kinda… went with it?”
: “We basically spent last year together. And you supported me through a bunch of personal shit, too.”
: This reminds me a lot of that one Persona 5 OVA where the second episode is a recap. Did they really think no one was going to notice them recycling the same scene eight goddamn times, especially when you have nothing else to do but these scenes?
: “I even told you I’d help whenever you needed it, and now, well… even I know I really let you down.”
: “Nah, that was a little late. You’d already figured everything out. Knew from the start, right? I mean, sure, I could fight with the rest of the team like nothin’s wrong…”
: “But I dunno. Feels like that’d be betraying all this stuff we built up together. Either way, I can’t just let this go. Gotta settle things somehow.”
: “Not… gonna stop… till you say I can. Can’t… forgive myself… unless I do this! Can’t believe… how lame I was… shitty thing… to do…”
: He does around two and a half squats during this text, meaning he’s winded after four. No wonder I never use him.
: “Huh? The hell’s… that… supposed to mean…? …Urgh- I can’t think and flex at the same time!”
: “Should’ve figured this’d be pointless. I tried to think of somethin’ good, but even I know I’m dumb. So, I… I really wanted to keep going with the track team. Hoped I could keep it going, maybe get a scholarship, and be a star athlete for college. Make life easier for my mom.”
: “And yeah, the doc’s big dream would’ve made that happen. But still… I dunno. When I think about it, I realize maybe it isn’t that hard a decision. I went through all that bad shit, got wrapped up in hating Kamoshida, turned into some delinquent…”
: “…Almost got the both of us expelled, started hangin’ out with Ann and Mishima more… and even had my big conversation with Nakaoka and Takeishi, even if they beat the crap out of me. Heh…”
: A part of me wants to skip the rest of these scenes, because they’re all like this. They’re pointless fucking recaps that they shoved in to say they had more content.
: “But that’s all part of my life. I still own that, y’know? It was a real shitshow sometimes, but I came out of everything stronger. I’m here 'cause I beat my problems. I can’t just pretend they never happened. Wouldn’t be right.”
: “Yeah. And that’s why… I’ll stick with the reality I fought for. The one where we went through all of our shit together. That’s where I belong.”
: Oh god dammit.
Blatant Ripoff Persona: William
Origin: An Actual Person
Persona 5 Royal “Original”
First name of William Kidd, who is also Ryuji’s starter Persona.
: How original.
: Apart from being blatant design recycling, William… kinda sucks. A full-party Charge isn’t terrible, but at the same time unless you have a very specific party setup (most likely Ryuji, Yusuke and Akechi or Sumire) you’re probably not going to get a lot of mileage out of it.
: His trait is the only thing he’s really got going for him - it’s one of the only ways to boost physical damage short of using an item.
: “Look, you have no idea. When I gotta take a bath knowing I’m not gonna get to sleep in the futon after, that kills me. Uh… sorry. Guess I just dragged you over here to listen to me whine.”
: “Look, I know sometimes I’m a real pain in the ass, but… from now on, I’m gonna run with everything I’ve got. So all you gotta do is count on me, Akira!”
: " ‘Kill me,’ huh… talk about a morbid request. Let’s help him before he does something even more drastic!"
: I really should’ve done a typo counter for Royal. We’re up to at least seven or eight.
: Anyway, something weird happens tonight. I look on the map and notice that a couple of areas are open that shouldn’t be, because we’re already past the cut-off date.
: Using the power of Lucifer, we can somehow get that one event with Hifumi we missed earlier - that being the one in Jinbocho that I posted back on the day I missed it using borrowed footage. The text is nearly identical, so I won’t post it again.
: They must’ve changed the flags in Royal to allow for this, and I’m fine with that.
: “Just… something’s been on my mind. For a while now, actually. …Can we talk sometime? Whenever’s good for you. Thanks… see ya later.”
: There’s a new prize in the arcade we can win, so I grab it.
: I also put up the King Piece decoration. Joker’s shelf is almost full.
: “You got some time right now? There’s something I wanna talk to you about. It’s really important…”
: “Thanks… then come to my ro- actually, hold on… can you come a bit later, Akira? I’ll leave my door open, so just come in.”
: “Um… there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about… so…”
: “I made a promise to help you whenever you were in trouble. For your sake, and for mine. But now, I…”
: “Yeah, I’m gonna help us fight back… I’m part of the Phantom Thieves, right? I feel the same way as everyone else. I mean… yeah, I don’t want to accept this reality…”
: “That’s all still true, but… I know this isn’t real. I figured that out a while ago. But I thought… if I got to see my mom again, then it was okay…”
: “…I’m so selfish! I was just thinking about what I wanted! You’re mad, I know, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”
: “…Don’t lie to me. You’re mad at me. You have to be. Why wouldn’t you be!? I betrayed you! Don’t you get that!?”
: Joker taps the maxed-out social stats page.
: “…Sorry… I guess I’m still a little freaked out. This isn’t even what I wanted to talk about… there’s something else I wanted you to hear, anyway. Can I… um, is it cool if I say it?”
: “So like… Dr. Maruki’s reality isn’t totally one hundred percent illusion, right?”
: Fuck! Where was this conversation two weeks ago, when it might have had some fucking impact!?
: “Me too. But I guess I won’t get to stay with her. I know… I mean, I know now that this is all in my head. But I wanted to talk with her more. Go on shopping trips and stuf. I dunno, just… I wish I had more time with her.”
: This might seem like it makes no sense, given that Akechi told us that Wakaba and Okumura were both alive (and not Shadows, bullshit ass-pull clones, illusions, or anything else).
: It also doesn’t make a lot of sense that Akechi is still around when Okumura and Wakaba have mysteriously disappeared after the party broke free of Maruki’s control. Allow me to explain that, because the writers won’t.
: In the first draft of Royal’s script, the writers completely capitulated to the focus groups and put in a scene retconning Akechi’s death outside of Maruki’s reality.
: The original explanation for why Akechi is still around is that he was never actually dead - he was merely in rehab somewhere recovering from multiple gunshot wounds and also being exploded.
: While I have to give the writers credit for not being totally spineless, fuck them for ever thinking that’d be acceptable. By the way, the comments section for that video is what a world without reading comprehension would look like.
: By the way, I had a job interview yesterday. Halfway through, I realized I didn’t want it - they don’t offer health insurance and the pay sucks. Then they ask me “What do you do for fun, outside of work?”
: I look this lady in the eye and go “I do commentated playthroughs of video games. But not fun ones. They’re all games I absolutely hate.”
: She looks at me with an eyebrow raised and goes: “…and that’s what you do for fun?”
: Me: “Yes.”
: “B-But still, like… we can’t just live totally dependent on Dr. Maruki’s reality! Right? Even if I won’t get to see my mom anymore… if I can manage to keep working hard and moving forward, like I was doing in our reality… then I… I think she’d be proud of me.”
: “Y-Yeah! Um… thanks. …So that’s what I’m gonna do. If Mom could see that I was working hard, being a part of the group… I think she’d be really happy for me.”
: “I’ve been thinking really hard lately. Wondering how I’d want Mom to see me. And I think I figured it out. I want to be someone who keeps looking ahead - someone who never stops moving.”
: “This time, I’ll do what I can to protect you. And everyone else too. So let’s go take back our own reality. The reality where we can beat anything the world throws at us, as long as we have each other. The reality my mom gave me.”
New Persona: Al-Azif
Origin: HP Lovecraft
Persona 5 Royal Original
Arabic name of the Necronomicon in HP Lovecraft’s stories.
: Unlike everyone else, Futaba only gets a trait upgrade and a new ability. Her trait is her finisher screen - any time we get that (which is pretty often) we now get a full heal in addition to it insta-killing enemies.
: Ultimate Support actually does more than what you’d think. It does three things at once: casts a full-party Samarecarm (thus reviving anyone who is down), then Mediarahan (restoring everyone to full HP) followed by a full-party Heat Riser.
: “Master Futaba has reached full recovery! Get ready for perfect navigation, no matter what we’re up against!”
: “What can I say? I’m my mom’s daughter! I’ll be pestering you a lot more from now on, so… sorry in advance, and thanks!”
: Tonight, we’re going to make a very important decision.
: First, I lock up Mada and feed him a couple of Magic incenses. Mada has a low Magic stat compared to Joker’s other Personas, and I wanted to buff that a bit.
: He’ll sit there for a few days, and then we’ll replace him with Yoshitsune for maximum damage.
: Anyway, a very important decision. The jazz club offers Ali Dance tonight, but we can only teach it to one person. This is good on pretty much anyone who isn’t Haru: Haru needs so many skills to be good that we can’t really give up a slot for Ali Dance.
: I boiled it down to Ann and Yusuke, who both have extremely common weaknesses, and then went with Ann. Yusuke has a slightly higher natural evasion, and Ann has the lowest HP of anyone, so she’s a good pick.
: “Your room’s pretty neat too, but this isn’t bad either!”
: Very mature, she says as she drinks out of something that looks like it’s about 300% sugar.
: “When I practice my walk for my modeling job, I sometimes feel like I’ll forget how to walk normally after… adults might look stylish walking that way, but if a high schooler does it, I think it just looks like they’re trying to show off.”
: Joker panics. The whole point of agreeing to the date with Morgana was that no one was going to remember anyway. Does this mean Yusuke knows?
: In hindsight, I don’t know why I kept Dekaja. We’ve only seen what, one boss that ever used buffs? Maruki can buff himself, but at that point it’d probably be better to use that turn doing damage.
: Today, we’re going to do Ann’s Rank 11. Normally, this would be when we’d be doing Yusuke’s, but we have to put our boyfriend first.
: Ann’s bedroom is a war crime. Seriously, TWO shoe towers?
: “Oh, I didn’t call you here for anything big or official… sorry. Actually, I wanted to give you a proper apology for everything. You know. Cause I got caught up in the life Dr. Maruki made for me.”
: “I guess, but… even if you’re okay with it, it’s really been bothering me. …Honestly, I’m still trying to figure out what the right choice is. I mean, I’m not saying Dr. Maruki’s reality is better or anything…”
: “But I can’t stop thinking about Shiho. Or how great her life could’ve been if things were like this.”
: “No. Not at all. I know this isn’t actually reality. I would’ve been happy, sure, but… it wouldn’t have been real. Shiho was still moving forward. Even after everything she’d been through, she didn’t lose hope.”
: “My strength came from her. That’s why, when Kamoshida said he’d kill himself, I told him he couldn’t run from it all. She didn’t run away, so he can’t either. And if I took the easy way out now… I’d be letting Shiho down.”
: Wait, what the fuck are you talking about? Shiho attempted suicide!
: “You’re so kind, Akira. …Kinda familiar, huh? Back when I finally broke down under the Kamoshida stuff, you listened to me like this too. You didn’t know me at all, but you still listened to everything.”
: “I couldn’t figure you out. Like, I kept thinking, “What is this guy’s deal?” Not only that, but you helped me with Shiho and my modeling… you’re too nice for your own good.”
: “Eheh, I get it. Can’t stand a sad face on a pretty girl, huh? Anyway, I really am grateful. But that just makes me feel even worse about accepting this reality. I’m never going to lose my way again.”
: No, that’s Matoi Ryuko. Kill la Kill was so fucking good, unlike this nonsense.
: “From now on, I’m going to face reality. For me, for Shiho… and for you.”
: My favorite thing about this cutscene is that if you look, Ann sits on her bed the entire time, staring at Joker and not blinking. The models in SMT V are somehow better than this, even if it has massive framerate issues.
New Persona: Celestine
Origin: A Real Person
Persona 5 Royal Original
Unlike the other third Personas (who are usually the first/proper name for the first Persona), Ann’s third Persona is named after Celestine Galle-Marie, a French actress most famous for playing Carmen. Looks kind of like a clown from far away.
: There’s one interesting thing about Celestine’s design that you never really see in-game. The back of her jacket has a design reading “Libre elle est nee, el libre lle mourra”. It’s a line from a song in the final scene of Carmen, shortly before Carmen dies. It translates to “Free she was born, free she will die.”
: Celestine gains resistance to Electric and has her trait’s SP cost reduction boosted from 25% to 50%. I only took High Energy because it’s marginally more useful than Dekaja at this point. The SP cost on it is WAY too high for what it does.
: “Okay, I’m ready to move on! Thank you for everything! I promise, I’m gonna do even better from here on out!”
: There’s another unique non-rankup scene with Hifumi we can do, so why not?
: “Change how you look at things, and the game will change as well. The world is like a shogi board. The pieces that live in the world can completely change, depending on the emotions of the player…”
: Oh, I thought she was going to go “The world is like a shogi board - flat.”
: “I’ve been so twisted by the adults around me that I began to lose sight of myself. But after I met you and we started playing shogi together… my heart began to change.”
: “Similar to this Ferris wheel… you showed me a different view, and changed my world…”
: “That’s fine. All it takes is a single moment to overcome a repetition of moves… and an expert hand can break through any situation. That is what you are.”
: “From behind, all scenery looks bright and vibrant. I truly love you from the depths of my heart.”
: …Why couldn’t she have been a party member? Why couldn’t they have made it so Makoto was working with Akechi the entire time? Oh wait, because that would’ve been good writing.
: I’m not shitting you when I say the rest of this game after today is going to be nothing but Sumire. We have to do six ranks of bullshit to get her to 11.
: “I’m glad I found you. I wanted to speak with you.”
: “I just want to talk, that’s all. If you have the time… is that okay? Thank you. Then let’s keep moving for now.”
: Why the fuck did they do this when they could’ve just shown it? This is fucking Allanson writing.
: “That Ushimaru, huh? It’s hard to believe. Guess we’ll just have to check it out when we’re in his class.”
: Unfortunately, we have to do Makoto’s Rank 11 today.
: “There’s something I just had to tell you.”
: “Honestly, I wanted to apologize. I couldn’t back you up when you needed me the most…”
: When have we ever needed Makoto?
: “I’m talking about Dr. Maruki. Ever since the new year, I’ve been stuck in his fake reality. You remember that time before I joined the Phantom Thieves, when I called you to the student council room?”
: “I challenged you on your ideals, threatened to expose you all… as if I knew anything about what was going on. …But since then, I’ve learned so much from the Phantom Thieves. From you.”
: “You’ve saved me, more times than I can possibly count. …After all that… I’d promised myself that if you were ever in trouble, I would leap in to save you.”
: “But… I forgot that vow. I just threw it away so I could cling to Father and Sis. It’s awful. To know that all along, I was so weak and self-centered…”
: It totally is her fault.
: “Even if it isn’t… does that really make it okay? Considering all the ways I made your struggle harder, even unknowingly, I can’t just let that go.”
: “You know… I think I’m more lonely than I was willing to admit. Father never spent much time at home. When he was there, he always had his mind on some case.”
: “And Sis put all her time into work. For both our sakes. I respected them both so much. And I still do, of course… but I can’t just let them take care of me forever.”
: “You know what I mean? I think it’s the right lesson to take. In any case, I’ve made my decision. I’m done just sitting quietly and doing as I’m told. If I’m weak, or self-centered, or lonely… or too dependent on my family… then that’s my problem to fix.”
: “But my pain’s still a part of me. All the struggles, your support - it’s what helped me stand up for myself. I can’t lose that. I’m not exactly abandoning the person I was. But I figure trying to bottle it up will only make my life harder.”
: "I want to be able to look at the most awful, disgraceful parts of myself, and still be able to say ‘So what?’ "
: That’s my response to all of these Rank 11 scenes. “So what?”
: "Huh? I’m not sure… at the very least, I know I probably shouldn’t be proud of them. That’s why I wanted to apologize. I guess I’m not completely ready to stand on my own just yet. But… I’ll keep trying, and I won’t run away.
: Makoto prepares to ascend to THE SMART DIMENSION where she can finally go to an anime filled with proper nouns.
New Persona: Agnes
Origin: Medieval Christian Fanfiction
Persona 5 Royal Original
Agnes is another name for Pope Joan/Johanna. She didn’t exist any more as Agnes than she did under any other name.
: Agnes gains a resistance to Curse and a significant buff to status effects. You need Ann and Yusuke to make full use of it, but it’s free Technicals any time it procs.
: Checkmate is a terrible skill. It’s meant specifically for Maruki’s fight and maybe Okumura’s if you do New Game Plus. I think Makoto can cast it three times on a full SP bar. It’s not worth it.
: “It’s strange. All it took to make my heart stronger was to put myself first?”
: “Sorry, but it looks like I’ll still have to rely on you a while longer. So I hope you’ll be prepared.”
: We don’t have anything interesting to do tonight, so I put up the Buchimaru-kun doll and called it an update.
: Next time, we’ll do Haru’s Rank 11. We’ll also do a couple ranks of Sumire, but there’s a free day and I might use it to try and fight the Reaper. We’ll see.