Summary
: It’s 4/15, and time for another day full of tutorials I really don’t need because I’ve played the first two games.
: There are three branches of government. One always tells the truth, one always lies, and the third has already evacuated the nation’s GDP into their offshore bank accounts. Using one question, how can you solve for X?
: “The National Diet is legislative, the Cabinet is executive, and the Supreme Court is judiciary.”
: As opposed to the National Diet in America, which is more along the lines of carnivore vs. vegan.
: “This division of power provides checks and balances, which ensures no one branch becomes unstoppable.”
: Shinzo Abe banging on the front door of a bar at 3AM: “You can’t lock me out! I’m unstoppable!” The LDP was a mistake. (Edit: Abe announced his resignation while I was editing this, so I guess he’s not unstoppable anymore. The LDP was still a mistake.)
: One thing I will give this game credit for: watch how in the next few cutscenes, they manage to hide Morgana somewhere. I never noticed this the first time I played it, because I’m nearsighted and my couch was way too far back from the TV. I feel like everyone who worked on this game did an amazing job and then Hashino just fucked up.
: “No matter how much thinking you do, there’s only one option. You’d be better off just listening to me.”
: “Hm? Did I just hear a cat just now?”
: Who said that? Which one of ya’ll dead motherfuckers just said that shit? Was it you, string bean? You skinny-ass lookin’ motherfucker? Turn around and say it again!
: No, I didn’t mistype that, by the way. He actually says “Did I just hear a cat just now”.
: “Hmm… could that rumored cat be somewhere nearby? Settle down! We’re in the middle of an important lecture!”
: “If only he knew I’m reading this too…”
: “Enough! This is a classroom!”
: “Hey! Stay in your seats! Do not step foot outside of this room!”
: The first time I saw this scene, I was immediately reminded of a similar scene from Great Teacher Onizuka. On a side note, I had not seen the anime for that since around 2005 and hoo boy does it look dated. They made a reboot called Paradise Lost which I read like half of then stopped.
: Ann is, of course, staring because Shiho just did a perfect swan dive into a flip before busting through the moonroof of the principal’s Cresta and driving off into the sunset. Unfortunately, because the Cresta was a 1998 model with like 350,000 miles on it, she doesn’t get far.
: Also, Ushimaru is an airplane now. I’m now imagining him going “Fuck this shit, I worked for Honda for 35 years and now I’m a goddamn Cessna!” and then making engine noises with his mouth, jumping out the window, and flying off like an airplane with his arms outstretched, his hands flapping like ailerons. Years later, an isekai anime is made based on his life story, in which the protagonist is hit by a runaway helicopter and reincarnates as a Cessna.
: On our way into the practice building, we come across the worst girl in this game. Her name is Makoto, and a lot of people accuse her of being Marie 2.0 and ruining the plot.
: If anyone found out that Ushimaru became an airplane, they’d realize there’s nothing stopping them from becoming airplanes as well and then this turns into a Junji Ito story.
: She’s the student council president, by the way. Because of course she is. Clearly this is a deconstruction about how the Class Rep type is usually the best girl, but she’s actually the worst.
: I like to think that the two un-named teachers are actually only an inch tall and that’s why the camera is at this perspective.
: We’re about to enter the Hashino Zone, where the plot will temporarily stop making sense.
: I’d also like you to note that Shiho is very much still alive and also still awake.
: “…Huh? …Kamoshida!?”
: The way he says “volleyball team” for no reason kind of makes me remember the magic words from Stone Ocean. Stone Ocean was dumb.
: “That guy… hey, wasn’t Mishima acting weird?”
: “…We’re gonna make him talk this time.”
: Can you spot Morgana? He’s behind Ryuji on top of the locker.
: “Why’d you run like that? Huh!?”
: “I didn’t run…”
: “She jumped and tried to kill herself!”
: “L-leave me alone…”
: “He’s right! We ain’t tryin’ to get you busted. We won’t say you talked either!”
: What is it with this game and the passive voice? Seriously.
: “Wait, what!?”
: “I was called by him a number of times too… to the teacher’s room. It wasn’t just me or Suzui either. He’d nominate someone when he was in a bad mood… and hit them.”
: “So the physical punishment thing was for real…”
: “But yesterday, he called Suzui out of the blue. She didn’t make any mistakes or anything…”
: So yeah, in addition to random beatings, breaking Ryuji’s leg, driving Shiho to suicide and leaking Joker’s information, Kamoshida also forced himself on Shiho.
: “He didn’t…! That son of a bitch!”
: “You bastard! The hell did you do to that girl!?”
: “What are you talking about?”
https://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/a/ab/07_comic_large.jpg/800px-07_comic_large.jpg
: Okay, Ryuji. You’ve got the chair kicking part down, now all you have to do is piss in a bottle and throw it at Kamoshida. He’ll never see it coming, then you punch him for mini-crits.
: The best part is that someone actually ripped Ryuji’s model into GMod so you can in fact have Ryuji throwing Jarate. Unfortunately, no one has ripped Kamoshida’s model.
: “What you did… wasn’t coaching!”
: By the way, spotted Morgana yet? He’s kind of obscured by the portraits.
: “What did you say?”
: “You… you ordered me to call Suzui here… I can only imagine what you did to her…!”
: I don’t know who voices Mishima in English or what he sounds like, but I imagine him sounding like Huey in The Phantom Pain.
: “You’re going on and on about things you have no proof of… basically, you’re making these claims because you can’t be a regular on the team, right?”
: “That’s not what this is about…!”
: Man, that’s the fastest coma diagnosis I’ve ever seen. Keep in mind this is maybe five minutes from when we saw Shiho on the stretcher… when she was still awake and talking. I’m pretty sure comas don’t work that way.
: “No… that can’t be…”
I like how all three of them have cell phones but not one of them thought to video this.
: “You goddamn…”
: “This again? Does this mean we need to have yet another case of ‘self-defense’?”
: “But still!”
: “Oh? You’re stopping him? What a surprise. There’s no need to hold back. Why not attack me?”
: “…Ohhh, you caaaan’t. Hahaha, but of course you can’t!”
: And here’s our arbitrary deadline. How this makes sense, I don’t know.
: “Wha-”
: “You can’t make a decision like that…!”
: “Who would seriously consider what scum like you say? You threatened me too, Mishima, so you’re just as responsible.”
: “Huh?”
: “To think you didn’t know why I kept someone as talentless as you on the team. You act like a victim, but you leaked his criminal records, didn’t you?”
: “It’s all over the internet, correct? How terrible.”
: “Mishima…?”
: “He told me to do it. I had no choice…”
: I can only read his dialog in Huey’s voice now.
: “Now, are we finished here? You’re all expelled!”
: Kamoshida has a very busy schedule. As soon as he’s out of here, he has to go kick a box of puppies. Not the box itself, but removing each individual puppy and kicking it. Then he has to go steal a runabout.
: This is why doing the whole “Personas don’t work in the real world anymore” thing was dumb. Seriously, just imagine him being all “Hahaha I can get away with anything” and then Joker lights him on fire like Tatsuya did with Principal Hanya.
: “I can’t believe this asshole’s gettin’ away with this!”
: “Huh…? Oh right, we have that!”
: I’m going to spoil something from the very beginning of Eternal Punishment, because this entire first segment of the game is kind of a call-back to it. In Eternal Punishment, Joker is a magic hitman/serial killer who takes kill targets through the Joker Game, where people call their own cell numbers and say a name. His first target that’s shown in EP is Principal Hanya, so technically we made the canon choice in Innocent Sin.
: “Huh? Have you lost your minds? You worthless kids aren’t making any sense, but sure, go ahead and try. After all, you’ll have plenty of time to kill until expulsion…”
: “We gotta hurry up and go to that world and beat the shit outta that asshole!”
: “We’re not beating him up. We’re simply stealing his distorted desires.”
: I mean, we’re only going into his brain to steal his Ann-shaped sex doll. Honestly, that’s kind of the lamest thing you could do with a magic castle where random shit you think comes to life. I’d be re-enacting my unwritten Death Note fanfic where a frustrated interior designer gets their hands on the Death Note and writes down “Open Concept Interiors” and the cause of death as “Devoured by weasels”.
: “Can I assume that you’ve made up your minds about this - about how he might suffer a mental shutdown?”
: “…I have. Someone almost died because of him! I don’t give a rat’s ass what happens to him anymore!”
: “And you?”
: “…Then it’s settled.”
: “By the way, is gettin’ rid of a Palace hard? You’ve tried it before, right?”
: And that’s how Morgana got banned from every Denny’s in a ten-mile radius.
: “…When did I ever say that?”
: “…Eh? WHAT!? Were you just pretendin’ to know!?”
: I wonder if Kamoshida is an evil version of the Devil Summoner protagonist or something with how quickly he spreads rumors.
: “So you came all the way to tell us that?”
: “If you’re going to deal with Kamoshida… let me in on it too.”
: “I can’t just sit back and do nothing after what happened to Shiho!”
: “This has nothing to do with you… don’t butt your head into this.”
: I feel like if this was Satomi Tadashi still writing this, there’s a good chance the missing word would be “girlfriend.”
: “…That was harsh.”
: “We can’t take her somewhere like that.”
: “I hope she doesn’t do anything too crazy. Women can be much bolder than men at times.”
: “We just gotta hurry up and deal with Kamoshida. Let’s go already!”
: I kind of hate the whole Phantom Thieves thing. It sounds like something a ten year old would come up with.
: “Huh? Phantom thieves?”
: “Those who covertly sneak in and stylishly steal Treasure - that is what we become!”
: I think Morgana has the term “thief” confused with “male model” but whatever.
: “It sounds cool” says local caveman Ryuji Sakamoto, while trying to figure out how fire works.
: “So we just gotta say the school, Kamoshida’s name, and… “castle”? Then we end up in bizarro world.”
: Oh, speaking of the school’s name. I read a manga recently (it was bad) that claimed that the word “Shujin” is Japanese for “Master” but can also be used for “Husband”. “Master Academy” certainly sounds like the kind of place someone like Kamoshida would teach. If this was Satomi Tadashi there’s a good chance they’d go for the double meaningful kanji and have Joker be gay (“Yeah, I met my husband at good ol’ Husband High.”)
: “…How the hell’s all this work? Someone make it?”
: “That’s kinda creepy, but eh, seems useful enough. We’ll show that effin’ Kamoshida!”
: Ryuji is about 50 years too young to be quoting The Doors.
: “What is this!?”
: “T-Takamaki!?”
: “That voice… Sakamoto!? And… are you Kurusu-kun?”
: Nah, he’s John Persona.
: “Wh-wh-why are you here!?”
: “How should I know!? What’s going on? Hey, where are we!? Isn’t this the school!?”
: “I see. Perhaps she was dragged in because of that app thing. If multiple people can enter with the person who uses it, it stands to reason it’ll pull in anyone nearby.”
: So okay, why can’t we just pull what they did in Persona 4 and throw Kamoshida into his own palace? P4 already established that your shadow wants nothing more than to kill you, all you’d have to do is toss him in and he’s dead.
: “For real?”
: “Wait, so THIS is related to Kamoshida!?”
: “The Shadows are going to find us if you make a scene.”
: “No way! It talked! Oh my god, it’s a monster cat!”
: “Monster…?”
: “You better explain what’s going on! I won’t leave until you do!”
: “Looks like we gotta force her. But… how’re we supposed to do that?”
: “Just take her back to where we came in. That’s how it worked last time, right?”
: “O-oh, yeah. Can you lend me a hand?”
: “We can’t deal with Kamoshida if we don’t!”
: “What’re you-”
: “We’ll explain after everything’s over!”
: Naturally, they had to do it this way because Hashino.
: “Whoa, s-sorry, I-I didn’t mean-”
: “…That’s not important!”
: “You guys seriously - ah!?”
: “You should’ve checked the tools you used! Why do I - the one who was just watching - know more about it than you two!?”
: “Sh-shuddup!”
: “Ah geez, Takamaki found out right when we were startin’ off… we gotta deal with this fast!”
: “That girl’s name is Ann Takamaki, right? Lady Ann…”
: Seriously, Morgana has no taste in women.
: “We’re counting on you, Joker!”
: “Joker? That a nickname?”
: “Don’t refer to it in such a lame way. It’s a codename. What kind of stupid phantom thief would use their real name!? I’m not down for that!”
: “And there’s no telling what kind of effect yelling our real names will have on the Palace. It’s just a precaution.”
: Cool, my codename will be Iron Cock. I am so glad I didn’t use that video in Innocent Sin so I could use it here. I almost did during the bomb arc.
: “So, uh, why’s he Joker?”
: Well obviously because it’s a reference to the two Jokers in Persona 2.
: “Next up is you, Ryuji. You’ll be… let’s see… ‘Thug’.”
: Thug makes me think of Tony Hawk’s Underground and how it’d actually be a big-brain move to make your codename Tony Hawk because no one would believe you exist.
: Now we just need a Bulk and we’ve got Power Rangers.
: “Oooh! That sounds awesome! I’m Skull! What do we do about this one’s code name?”
: “Well, if Joker thinks it’s easier to call me that, then I’ll go with it. All right. From here on out, we’re Joker, Skull, and Mona.”
: The next bit of this is tutorials, which I’ll be skipping over for the most part.
: Holding R2 allows you to dash, indicated by the motion lines on the sides of the screen. This is mostly for moving through areas you’ve cleared of enemies, since running acts like a magnet for encounters.
: “However, I can’t allow that trash to ransack my castle! Strengthen the security! Kill them on sight! I’ll reward whoever brings me their heads.”
: “Hey, Mona. Can’t we just beat the crap outta him and call it a day?”
: “Look at those soldiers, idiot! It’d be suicide. And I’m sure you don’t want a repeat of last time.”
: “Besides, don’t you want him to confess his sins? There’s no point to beating him up. We need to steal his materalized desires… the Treasure.”
: “Fiiiine. So where is it?”
: “It has to be somewhere in the depths of this castle. Let’s infiltrate further while he’s out here!”
: We then get a tutorial on demon negotiation, which I’m sure all of you got enough of in the earlier games. Just like P1 and P2, we can ask for money or items: but there’s not much of a point to doing this. We don’t have the ability to ask them to join us because this is a tutorial.
: More awkward localization.
: By the way, notice how Ryuji is holding that shotgun. That is not how you hold a shotgun. Even on a low-recoil shotgun like the AA12, that’s just asking to have your wrist injured.
: This is how we get new Personas, in addition to fusing the ones we find in battle. We actually get to keep this Pixie, which will be useful because before we leave Kamoshida’s dungeon for real, we’re going to need four different arcana of Persona: Chariot, Lovers, Death, and I think Hierophant.
: One nice thing P5 does is that it keeps track of weaknesses that you’ve already seen. In this case, we know that Bicorn is weak to lightning.
: The game will even give you a special cut-in if you hit a weakness.
: Normally I’d be way stingier with SP, but in this case we don’t have much further to go and it’s basically a free Persona.
NEW PERSONA: Bicorn
Origin: Unknown, possibly England
First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei II
Evil unicorn associated with adultery.
: Bicorn is kinda garbage, but we’ll be keeping him around as fusion fodder. He’s also useful as a cheap compendium grab later on when we do the Hermit confidant.
: Hear that? That’s the sound of Jung being thrown out a window.
: We continue down the hallway and find a door.
: There’s three battles in this room, and I only managed to ambush the first one. I could actually have gotten Pyro Jack as a Persona… except I forgot that they’re weak to wind and not just ice.
: Unfortunately, what happened was that as soon as I killed the first encounter, the second and third ones spotted me. One Bicorn isn’t too bad - guns take it down quick.
: Except I forgot that in P5, encounters can “chain” if you get spotted.
: Thankfully, Ryuji had just enough ammo left to knock them all down.
: At the end of the room is a chest with a weapon I only equip because the game lets you do it automatically via a dialog prompt. Seriously, with the buffs that guns got, we have almost no reason to ever use physical attacks.
: “A safe room. We can discuss our strategy inside. There are a lot of places even I don’t know about in here…”
: “I just said the words Sakamoto said, and I ended up-”
: “Huh?”
: “Just gettin’ this far’s been a real pain in my ass!”
: “It’s all because you guys provoked Kamoshida, you know. Still… he seems to be awfully on guard…”
: “Anyways, how’re we supposed to steal that Treasure thing?”
: “Don’t be so hasty. First, we’ll need to secure an infiltration route.”
: “A what?”
: “A path to the treasure’s location.”
: I’m no expert, but I have a feeling those last couple of lines were something they needed in Japanese because there’s no word for “infiltration route” and it uses katakana.
: “But honestly, I think we’ll need a little more manpower in order to accomplish this. At the very least, one more person would be nice…”
: “Hey, you say you don’t have your memories and all, but somehow you still know about that kinda stuff? Do you think this thing’s really got amnesia?”
: I believe in Morgana if only because he’s so annoying that he’s unlikely to turn evil and get killed off.
: “At least you’re a step above that moron.”
: “Don’t call me a moron! You sure talk big, but what if it turns out you’re just some stray cat in the end?”
: “That can’t be…”
: “Princess…?”
: “Who’s this princess they’re talkin’ about?”
: “I should probably look into this!”
: “Stuff like the castle and that navigation app are mysterious… but Morgana’s got 'em both beat.”
: “Crap, sorry! What was I again? Oh yeah - Skull!”
: “That was fast!”
: “Your friend… Lady Ann!”
: What is this, Kingdom Hearts?
: “Wait, what? We sent her home earlier.”
: “If Lady Ann does indeed have the app, it could be possible.”
: “Oh no… don’t tell me it got put on hers just like mine!? Dammit! We let her out for her own safety, and she just came back in by herself!”
: “We need to hurry and rescue her!”
: I don’t know why, but Morgana saying that reminds me of Half-Life: Full Life Consequences. John Persona who was Ann Persona’s brother was one day sitting in an office, typing at a computer.
: “She totally doesn’t get what’s goin’ on!”
: “Let’s hurry! We have to save her!”
: It’s a nice touch that if you look, one of the armors is uh… melting. By the way, see how Joker is at half health? I was too stingy to heal him and forgot that Morgana has Dia.
: “So, this is the intruder.”
: “More importantly, what is this place? Why’s the school turned into something like this?”
: “I can’t believe you mistook my Ann for someone like her.”
: “Are you afraid?”
: “What is that outfit? Have you lost your mind?”
: “I do as I please here. After all, this is my castle… the world of my desires.”
: “What the–!? Wait… is this some red-light district?”
: I just realized something. No one has done fanart of Groverhaus as a Palace and I feel like that’s a mistake. Grover walking around with a giant building inspector badge approving the load-bearing drywall. Seriously though, “This is my castle, the world of my desires” sounds like something Shadow Grover would say as he approves another mismatched window placed at the exact height for a child to fall out of it.
: “What a lively slave.”
: “This isn’t funny! Enough of the bullshit, Kamoshida!”
: “The girl’s decided to tell me off. What do you think of that?”
: Naturally, Fake Ann talks like a valley girl.
: “In that case… she should be executed. Now then, how should I play with you? Shall I tear you into little pieces?”
: “Are you kidding me?”
: Why does Kamoshida have an entire harem of Chie?
: “Is that what he thinks of the girls on the volleyball team!?”
: “Hey, that’s-!”
: “Just when I was about to start enjoying myself…”
: “What’s the deal with this guy!?”
: “You little…”
: “How many times are you gonna come back? I bet you’re just like those thieves. You came because you’re pissed at me, huh?”
: “But, ah… I forget that chick’s name, but it’s your fault she jumped, you know.”
: “Huh?”
: “You were so reluctant to throw yourself onto me that I had her take your place.”
: “You bastard!”
: “No!”
: “Dammit!”
: “Just sit back and enjoy the dismantlement show.”
: “H-Hey, what’re we gonna do!? Takamaki!”
: “Is this… my punishment for what happened to Shiho?”
: “That’s more like it. You should’ve looked like this from the start.”
: “Shiho… I’m so sorry…”
: “Huh…? No… I don’t want that. You’re right.”
: “Letting this piece of shit toy with me… what was I thinking!?”
: “It’s like I always say. Slaves should just behave and-”
: “…Shut up! I’ve had enough of this! You’ve pissed me off, you son of a bitch!”
: Meet Ann’s Persona, Carmen.
New Persona: Carmen
Origin: France (fiction)
Persona 5 Original
Fictional Romani dancer from a novel of the same name by Prosper Merimee. Known for being a femme fatale and smoking a lot.
: Ann grabs a guard’s sword and uses it to cleave her fake in half.
: The “guard captain”, also known as Belphegor, is our mini-boss for this run. Ann stands in a very… strange pose that’s likely to give her some serious back issues in the future. In combat, she uses whips and SMGs - a direct reference to the heroine of Shin Megami Tensei I.
: Belphegor is weak to fire, and being a mini-boss rather than an actual boss means we can knock him down and get an All-Out Attack on him for free.
: He responds by casting Magaru, which Ryuji is weak to. This is one of the problems I have with Persona 5 - if this was Persona 1 or Persona 2, we’d just change Ryuji’s Persona to something not weak to wind.
: I didn’t capture it, but this fight taught me something I didn’t know about how guns work in this game. Guns do more damage the more shots you fire. For Joker’s gun, the first shot did 11 damage and the final one did 88. This means that Morgana’s gun is objectively the worst because it scales the same as Joker’s but has fewer shots.
: “Wait!”
: “Why’d you come here, man!? And more importantly, how!?”
: “Hey! Is that how you speak to a woman?”
: SIMP ALERT!
: In the base game, these forward-facing portraits didn’t exist, and I swear something looks kinda off with Ann’s masked portraits.
: “Wait, what is this thing? Is it alive? How can it talk? And… where in the world are we!?”
: “J-Just calm down. Everything’s going to be okay; don’t worry.”
: “How am I supposed to calm down!?”
: Honestly, I don’t know, other than that the character designer was horny. Ann’s outfit is probably the least practical of all of the Fresh Princes: it has a tail for no reason, is bright red, and just… yeah no. Even Joker’s outfit is kinda pushing it with that cape. Ryuji’s the only one who looks like he’s ready for thievery.
: “Ugh, what’s with this!?”
: “Well, I’m stumped… a search party will be coming for us soon.”
: “There’s no time to explain. We don’t have a choice. Let’s retreat for now!”
: “We were just gettin’ fired up, and you had to go and get in the way… rgh, fine… here, gimme your arm.”
: “Looks like we made it back - hey, are you okay?”
: “Well, pretty much… wait, I lied. I’m still confused about all of this.”
: “You may be safe now, but a lot sure did happen back there… at any rate, we stand out too much here. Let’s relocate to a safer spot.”
: “Whichever’s not carbonated.”
: “Uh, they’re both actually.”
: “Then…”
: “What about me?”
: “Huh? But you’re a cat.”
: “Have you calmed down, Lady Ann?”
: “Um… Morgana, right? I really am talking to a cat… this feels so strange… oh, sorry! You’re not a cat, right?”
: “It’s only natural that you’re confused. Demanding that you understand all of this after what you went through is asking too much.”
: “Honestly, I still can’t believe what happened… and that power, my Persona…”
: “It’s the will of your rebellion, Lady Ann. With it, you’ll be able to fight in that other world.”
: I feel like letting Hashino have a Blu-Ray disc worth of space was too much. He just kinda crams text in for the hell of it.
: “So if what you told me is true, we can make Kamoshida have a change of heart, right? Is it really possible? Can we actually force him to confess his crimes?”
: “The volleyball team’s keepin’ quiet about this, while teachers and parents turn a blind eye.”
: “If guys like us try and complain, they’re just gonna shoot us down. Goin’ all in on this plan is the only choice we got.”
: “Then let me help too. I want to make him pay for what happened to Shiho. He just keeps going like nothing happened, even after what he did to her… I’ll never forgive him.”
: “Wait, did you just say ‘let me help’? You mean you want us to take you along?”
: “Don’t act like I’m going to drag you down. Weren’t you watching? I can fight too.”
: “Hey… what should we do?”
: “I agree as well. We are lacking in manpower, after all. Don’t worry, I’ll protect her.”
: “Even if you said no, I’d just go in alone.”
: “Oh right, she can go in by herself… I guess it’d be more dangerous turnin’ her down. Rgh… fine.”
: “Then it’s decided. Well, I hope we get along!”
: “I’m going to make Kamoshida atone for what he did. Not just for Shiho’s sake… but for everything he’s done.”
: “I won’t let any more people suffer because of him. I’ll do whatever it takes!”
: I really, really wish they’d removed the extraneous Sae cutscenes from Royal. Like, imagine Paper Mario 64 (or Thousand Year Door) if they just had random Peach cutscenes for no reason.
: Ann is the reason that the Pixie we automatically picked up will be useful. However, I might try a different strategy with that Pixie assuming we can fuse Personas already that should put us slightly ahead of schedule - it’s a strategy that would only work with the extra money you get from having a P5 save.
: “Hey, give me your number and chat ID. And, um…”
: “I’ll be counting on you, then. Same goes for you, Morgana.”
: “The pleasure is all mine, Lady Ann.”
: “What a kind girl… such admirable consideration for others… and the innocence to cast herself into the jaws of death to achieve her goal…”
: I hate Morgana so much.
: “She cares about her friends, and she’s beautiful to boot… what a girl! She’s captured my heart…”
: “You know, it’d be better if this group could get together quick from now on…”
: “True. Our best option would be to make a secret hideout where we could discuss these things.”
: “A hideout, huh? I like the sound of that.”
: “The school rooftop would work. It seems like nobody goes up there. For the time being, that will make the perfect hideout.”
: “I can’t contact you from inside a Palace, so I’ll stay in this world. That being said, I’ll need someone to take care of me.”
: “…This’s all you. There’s no way I can at my place.”
: Let me tell you something. When I was recording this, and I saw that line from Ryuji, I was like “Oh right, because his dad owns a sushi restaurant” and then I realized that no, that’s Eikichi. I wish they’d hurry up with the Eternal Punishment translation.
: “Well, now we have our hideout, so let’s meet there tomorrow!”
: “Okay! Let’s go look at my new residence for this world!”
: Even if you’ve never played Persona 5 before, there’s a decent chance you’ve seen fanart of Tae Takemi here. She’s consistently one of the most popular characters and considered by some to be the best girl. As a result, she gets a TON of fanart.
: “Hey, lay off the customers. Sorry if he was rude, doctor.”
: “…I don’t mind.”
: “Come back again. Phew… that’s it for today.”
: “Oh, that customer just now? She’s the head doctor over at that clinic down the street. Rumor has it she gives pretty crappy examinations, and sells some weird homemade medicines on top of that.”
: The medicine is called femdom, and overdoses of it cause conditions like Monster Girl Quest. In fact, I am VERY surprised no one has done fanart of Tae as Alice.
: “At least, that’s what I’ve heard. I haven’t been there myself. They really should just leave her alone. It’s not like she’s getting in the way of their lives…”
: “Hey are we there yet?”
: “Is this some kind of abandoned house!?”
: “I was wondering why I heard meowing. What did you bring it here for!?”
: “Not my problem. Look, this place is a restaurant. Animals are a no-go…”
: It’s like he’s never heard of the myriad of cat cafes in Tokyo. You know, where he is right now. My dentist has a dog he brings to work and I feel like if that’s got approval, a cat is nothing.
: “Though I guess you might stay on good behavior if you’ve got a pet to take care of… fine…”
: “But keep it quiet when we’re open for business. And don’t let it roam downstairs, or I’ll toss it out.”
: “Oh, and I’m not gonna take care of it. That’s all on you.”
: I mean, it can’t be any more dangerous than my house, where we have a touch-controlled stovetop that the cat can jump onto and has turned on more than once while sitting on the burners.
: “Was that the ruler of this place? He seemed pretty understanding for someone who keeps you cramped up in this dump.”
: “Then again, I suppose to normal people I just sound like a meowing cat.”
: I mean, my cat can talk, it’s just that the only thing he says is “Human! Get me more dry food from the cabinet! That one, right there! That one! Just reach up and get me some! I know I just ate not even half an hour ago, but I want more!” and then he does the whole ASPCA commercial look like he hasn’t eaten in weeks. He sounds kind of like the crows in Dark Souls 1.
: “By the way… have you decided on a name? Morgana? Huh… I was hoping I’d get to name it…”
: “Looks like the chief likes me better than you. And to be honest, this place is heaven compared to Kamoshida’s cells. …Remember how you guys asked me before about what I am?”
: “To be honest… I don’t remember anything about my birth. I think the Metaverse’s distortions made me lose both my memories and my true form.”
: “It has to be! I mean, why else would a cat be able to talk like this? There’s no other possible explanation!”
: If you’ve played Persona 4, this will sound very familiar. It was at this point in my original playthrough that I went “He’s just got the same backstory as Teddie, doesn’t he?”
: “There’s no doubt that the distortions were what caused me to lose my real self. I’m sure that once they’re purged, I’ll finally be able to get that self back…”
: “And I have a pretty good idea on how to do it, too. That’s why I was in the castle in the first place.”
: “Let me make myself clear: your taking care of me won’t be for nothing. It’ll be give and take.”
: Spoilers: Yes it is for nothing.
: “Due to my knowledgeable and dexterous nature, i have a lot of intel on infiltration tools.”
: We’ll see more of this tomorrow. For the record, I went through the entire game the first time without ever using an infiltration tool.
: “Whoa, I can’t tell you more unless we settle on a deal. In exchange for you keeping me here, I’ll teach you about these tools. How does that sound?”
: I vote for dropping him off at a shelter and seeing if we can find Yukiko’s phone number somewhere. Or Elly’s. Or Yukino and Anna’s since Yukino still has her Persona in this timeline. Hell, see if we can drop Ryuji somewhere and get Eikichi back.
: God dammit, John Persona!
: “I like that answer. Hehehe… then it’s a deal.”
: Okay, I’d like to point out that she’s interrogating a 17 year old. How many 17 year olds do you know with access to industrial fabricators?
: Morgana’s confidant is one of a handful that we do not need to do anything to advance. It’s done automatically throughout the plot and you will get a guaranteed max rank in it by the end of the game.
: “I’ll lecture you about the infiltration tools over time. By the way, the power you used in the Palace was seriously amazing. The stronger that power gets, the more reliable it’ll be as a trump card.”
: “All right, I’m gonna stick with you wherever you go from now on.”
: I’m just gonna cut the rest of it because it’s the game telling you that you get perks for having confidants ranked up. In reality, only about… maybe half of them give anything we give a shit about.
: “You guys send messages to each other with that thing, right? I want in too, so I’m gonna have to ask you to type for me.”
: I like how they made this a dialog prompt, because Morgana is talking and John Persona is just going “Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.” in the background.
: My cat sleeps right next to my head, because he knows that’s an optimal location for shedding so that it’ll trigger my allergies.
: And that does it with yet another day that wouldn’t fucking end. The 16th will be shorter, and then we’ll hopefully get the 17th, 18th, and 19th into one update.
: “As you all know, today is the volleyball rally. Head to the gymnasium once you’ve changed. Got it?”
: “Y-Yeah…”
