Colors Flying High - Let's Play Persona 5 Royal

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 83

: We get another reading period on the train that we don’t need.

: “This doesn’t make any sense to me. Does the author even understand what they’re saying…?”

: “So, you’ve finished reading Social Thought. I’m getting information overload… groan”

: “My neighbors have been careless lately on garbage day… the crows were cawing away this morning. Those trash nets the city makes us use only keep them away at the start. Crows are quick learners.”

: “On that note, do you all know how to write the kanji for ‘crow’? The characters for ‘bird’ and ‘crow’ look very similar, but the latter has one fewer line. What do you think, Kurusu-kun? Isn’t it easy to confuse with ‘bird’?”

: I know this is a mistake that comes up sometimes in fan translations.

: “Do you know why it’s missing in the character for ‘crow’?”

: “That’s right.”

: “But crows actually have great vision. They can even see UV rays, apparently. By the way, one reading for a different ‘crow’ kanji is ‘ga’, to imitate the sound of it cawing.”

: “The character for ‘pigeon’ is the same. It’s based on the bird’s coo, leading to the ‘ku’ pronunciation. Crows are pretty smart, so you’d better study enough so that you don’t lose to them.”

: “Crows are scary, lemme tell ya. When your eyes meet, they start flapping and. shudder”

: There’s no jury box, because this is probably a trial that’s not considered important enough for one. From what I’ve read, juries are only used for high-profile cases, like murder.

: Huh. In the Ace Attorney games, the defense attorney is always on the left.

: “Just being here causes my body to tense up.”

: “I’m shocked that Niijima-san can think of somewhere this solemn as a casino…”

: “So Makoto’s sis is that lady who’s overflowing with the aura of a capable woman.”

: “…Mm-hm.”

: “By the way, what’s this trial about?”

: This is another reference to the trial of Ryutaro Nonomura, which I mentioned way back when we saw Madarame’s breakdown scene. It’s hard to believe I’ve been LPing this game for almost a year.

: “Aren’t politicians supposed to be loaded? Why’d he mess with our tax money?”

: Ryuji, do you even pay taxes?

: “Playing with other people’s cash is a total no-go.”

: “This may sound odd, but isn’t Niijima-san supposed to be busy with our investigation? Does she really have time to be coming to a trial like this?”

: “Supposedly, she was on this case before being assigned to the Phantom Thieves… normally, another prosecutor would take her place, but… Sae-san can be a bit of a perfectionist.”

: “Hey, how’re we gonna get Niijima-san to notice us? Did you tell her we’d be coming?”

: “I don’t think she read the message, though.”

: “Do we have a backup plan?”

: “…Not exactly, but I’m sure she’ll notice us eventually.”

: “Hm…? I noticed a lot of students here, but is that Akechi-kun… and Makoto? Now that I think about it, there was a message about her coming… sigh That doesn’t matter for now.”

: “See? It’s almost time to begin.”

: Let me just talk a bit about how this entire visual metaphor doesn’t really work at all. With Madarame, you had a visual metaphor that worked: the door in his house in the real world corresponded to the barrier, and opening the door opened the barrier.

: Here, though, the barrier isn’t the door to the courtroom: that would make sense. Instead, it’s that fence between the audience area and where the people actually involved in the trial are. In fact, if you look, you can tell that the barrier in Sae’s palace is just a bigger version of that fence.

: We’ll see a bit later (when we go back into the palace) that the visual designers knew that this was the case, and then kinda hamfisted it. The big difference here is that unlike Madarame’s locked door, the party never really gets over the physical barrier that corresponds to the one in the palace.

: Now, there’s things they could have done to make this work. They could have put in a thing where Akechi slips a John Persona logo into a place where Sae would notice it, representing the idea that the barrier doesn’t mean anything to John Persona.

: Instead, you get this, which doesn’t feel consistent with the way things worked in Madarame’s palace. There’s going to be a lot of that coming up, both in this dungeon and the final dungeon of the base game.

: “This should let us enter that high limit thingamajig! Let’s head over to her Palace once the trial’s over!”

: “Stay in the bag, dammit!”

: I don’t know why they chose to do this, because it looks like ass - it’s pretty clearly a flat screenshot they slapped over the 3D visuals and it sticks out, even if you’re not taking still shots of it.

: It’s also kinda dumb because most of the other times they do the overlay thing, it’s in rooms that are scaled to their real-world counterparts. It’s why you don’t see it a lot in Futaba’s palace, or at all in Okumura’s.

: It feels like the level designers didn’t know whether they wanted to go the Snow Queen route (where the Ice Castle is roughly the same size as St. Hermelin, but with stuff re-arranged) or just go nuts and make it so that the palaces can be completely different from their real-world counterparts, so they just did a little of both and hoped it’d mesh.

: That’s another thing that really doesn’t make much sense to me: why they even included the whole ‘palaces are based on a real location’ thing if half of them don’t share any design elements whatsoever with the places they’re supposed to be.

: “You’re gonna have a heart attack if you keep gettin’ surprised like that.”

: “Haha… honestly though, this is all somewhat hard to believe.”

: “Look, there is a counter up ahead. Shall we head there first?”

: Before we do that, we can get the third will seed right now. Joker can grapple up to this chandelier, which seems pointless at first.

: The trick is that you can jump off the back of the chandelier and onto a series of ramps along the back wall.

: There’s a vent at the top.

: “Sorry, but you’ll be letting us through!”

: “Hold on, Queen - I’m getting the feeling that this one’s gonna be a headache. We’ll probably want to be as ready as possible for this fight. Are we, Joker?”

: We have four archangels. We’re ready.

: I think this is one of the few times you can actually fuse a will seed miniboss before fighting them.

: Baal might have been difficult if we weren’t overleveled and didn’t have Gabriel.

: He doesn’t hit Joker due to Ali Dance - the only reason Joker is missing HP is because I didn’t realize the will seed was up there until I had cleared the rest of the floor.

: Hadad is wiped out by Judeo-Christianity, just like in real life.

: “And that takes care of that! Let’s move.”

: Quality proofreading right there. I had to do a read-back because I thought I had read it wrong.

: Sae’s will seed accessory sucks… until Jose improves it. Then it gives you a free Charge/Concentrate at the start of a fight, which makes it great for wiping out encounters fast.

: “Just 1,000 though. At least give each person that much, cheapskate.”

: “Okay, show us your prizes now. We want to exchange our coins for a member’s card.”

: Unfortunately, the prizes kinda suck. No Megidolaon tablets here.

: “What? Then how are we supposed to get to the manager’s floor…?”

: “Well, we cannot proceed unless we check it out. Why don’t we head over there for the time being?”

: “Maybe it’s a scale-shaped bridge? There’s an area on the other side too. That could lead to the manager’s floor!”

: “There can be no doubt… we’ll need to lower the bridge to cross.”

: “But how do we do that?”

: “Hm, how indeed. Let us try investigating around here.”

: “What…? We need 100,000 coins just to cross over there!?”

: “It’s getting clearer that she has no intention of letting us proceed onward.”

: “I don’t believe there is any need for pessimism though.”

: “But think about how much that is! We were desperate just to get our hands on 50,000…”

: “But we still obtained them in the end. We can succeed if we do that again, then double our total.”

: “I suppose this is the high limit floor…”

: “Indeed, there must be a high risk, high return game somewhere here. Though we’ll need to win too…”

: “Our first order of business should be to see what kind of games exist on this floor.”

: We saw them from the chandelier earlier.

: We can’t do the Battle Arena, because it requires a 10,000 coin entry fee.

: And now it’s time for what is probably the least annoying dark room in the entire Megami Tensei franchise. What, you didn’t think we’d get through an Atlus game without a dark room, did you?

: “You better not be lookin’ for a fight. We ain’t interested!”

: “Participants?”

: Wait, is this the Hunger Games?

: “Of course we don’t. That should be obvious.”

: “…So we basically need to be our own substitutes. Eh, sounds perfect to me! That’s way better than spectating!”

: “10,000 coins, just from completing a maze!?”

: “It is no wonder they call this the high-limit floor. I doubt the maze will be as simple as it sounds…”

: It’s kind of strange to me that they’d put a save room here when there’s one in the lobby just outside, but whatever.

: “This is definitely not ‘a little’. We’ve been tricked.”

: “I’m sensing Shadows too. ‘Very simple,’ my ass.”

: “If we do not ascertain the layout and placement of the enemies, we will surely find ourselves in danger. I just hope there is an adequate way of doing so…”

: You can use Batman Vision to make things a little easier to see, and the enemies will appear on the minimap… even if there isn’t much of one.

: The shadows in here are all the black-suited type, which makes them hard to see unless you’re running around with Batman Vision at all times.

: I get ambushed by some Rangda. We want one of these, because they’re one of the two components for Shiva. Shiva is one of a handful of special fusions that do not involve more than two Personas - the components are Rangda and Barong.

: Unlike the other special fusions, Shiva does not show up in the “Advanced Fusion” list - the only way you can even know the fusion exists is if you have Rangda and Barong in your roster at the same time.

: We want Shiva because he itemizes into Ryuji’s ultimate gun, but also because he’s a component for Ardha, the final Temperance Persona. Ardha itemizes into Kasumi’s ultimate gun.

: Anyway, Rangda is weak to Bless, and we’ve got plenty of that.

: I’m pretty sure Rangda has a unique voice for the “I am thou, thou art I” line, and in Japanese it’s kinda funny because she goes “Ware wa Nanji, Nanji wa Wareeeeeeee” like she’s being tossed into the shadow realm.

New Persona: Rangda

Origin: Indonesia (Bali)

First Appearance: Megami Tensei I

Demon queen from Balinese mythology who leads an army of witches against Barong and eats children. Name means “widow” in the language spoken in ancient Bali. Possibly a home-grown version of Kali or Durga.

: Rangda can be a pretty okay Persona, so long as you replace half her moveset. I believe she’s also one of the few Personas you can build to reflect everything.

: There’s a few scattered groups of NPCs who don’t say anything.

: “Impossible. We took the only path available straight to this point.”

: “…It seems they have no intention of letting us proceed further.”

: “Dammit, this is cheatin’… actually, it’s even worse than cheatin’!”

: “Regardless, let’s search for a way past here. We can’t get the coins if we don’t reach the goal.”

: This part of the dungeon is less about finding your way through the maze and more about playing “hunt the vent”. The vent is on the wall right next to the door.

: “Hm, how convenient. If they’re not going to let us move forward, we can force our way through here.”

: “Haha, an unsurprising idea for Sae-san’s sister. I will go along with whatever plan we choose.”

: As soon as I got through the vent, there was a shadow waiting for me and I had about half a second to press the “attack” button to not have it be an ambush. We’ve fought Norn before.

Technically Returning Persona: Norn

Origin: Norse Mythology

First Appearance: SMT If

Norse goddesses more or less analgous to the Fates in Greek myth. The three major ones are Verdandi, Urd and Skuld - none of which have appeared in any Persona or mainline SMT game past Eternal Punishment.

: Norn is kind of a trashsona, though she comes up on a lot of fusion lists.

: There’s really not much to see here - you go through vents until you find an unlocked door. The room isn’t that big.

: There’s two doors you can use to get in. The bottom one has a chest near it, but it’s nothing special.

: “Is that it though? It feels like there’s more up ahead.”

: The chest on the minimap is an SP recovery item. Thankfully, this is the last area of the dark room maze.

: “What was that, you bastard!?”

: “I hope you’re read. We didn’t appreciate that trap of yours.”

: “He’s right! You didn’t have any intention of letting us get past that maze in the first place!”

: The miniboss is a Raja Naga, which has no weaknesses and likes to use electric attacks.

: He likes to use Maziodyne, though in this case, that becomes his downfall.

: He shocks Yusuke and then gets a Technical to reduce him to 10 HP, using the follow-up to force Yusuke to Endure. However, Raja Naga forgot one important thing: if you physically attack a shocked enemy, there’s a good chance the shock transfers to you.

: Haru follows up with One-Shot Kill after Yusuke dumps his magazine. Boss down.

: “Considering how things were on the members floor, it’s no surprise this isn’t a fair game either.”

: “And yet we still reached our goal. Come now, let us go. We have no more business here.”

: “Hm, we will have to go to another game if we want to win more coins… Joker, should we go back to the elevator?”

: There’s only one other place we can even go, so let’s go there.

: “Of course! Our teamwork’s gonna take down this arena of yours!”

: If you’ve played Nocturne, you’ll probably have a pretty good idea of what’s coming.

: “Don’t tell me…”

: “Wait, what!? That’s enough to get us across this bridge! Come on, we need to do this!”

: “Hm… this feels like a trap to me. An amount that high would certainly ensure great danger.”

: “But failure to infiltrate this Palace will be the end of us.”

: “So we don’t got a choice…”

: “Very well. In that case, Joker should be the one to participate. We don’t know what kind of enemies may appear, so his high level of adaptability will be vital here.”

: It’s mostly just beefed-up random encounters with lower HP.

: “Are you sure about this? You will have to fight alone…”

: “But… that’s why Joker’s the one doing it, right…? I mean, I understand why… J-Just be careful, okay? Don’t do anything reckless in there.”

: Before you go in, you’re going to want to make sure you have something that can hit Psychic, something that can hit Bless, and a status effect. Or, you know, just Concentrate and Megidolaon. I was tempted to make a Mot with those, but that’s kind of a waste at this point.

: “Only you will be able to continue from here onward. We’ll be cheering from the stands, so best of luck!”

: I find it funny that the Mantra (an organization of demons who are firmly “strong eat the weak”) honor the whole one-on-one battle thing in their battle arena, but Sae doesn’t.

: “This isn’t one-on-one at all! They’re just ignoring the rules right from the beginning!”

: Joker opens with Concentrate, and then promptly gets critted by a Miracle Punch. Miracle Punch is a garbage skill that does no damage but has a high crit rate.

: “How cowardly! There’s nothing fair or honest about this!”

: I figured that it was probably going to take two turns to kill these either way, so I brought out Uriel and went right to Makougaon. Turns out the Rangdas here have lower HP than usual.

: Oh look, a battle arena where the final enemy is Thor.

: “Yowza… that’s a big one.”

: This is strangely appropriate given our mostly-angel party.

: Meet US Ambassador to Japan John Thorman. He has no weaknesses and absorbs lightning. He’s also the source of Ryuji’s best melee weapon, meaning I’ll probably fuse one sooner or later.

: Thorman’s tactics are pretty simple: he uses Charge, then uses Megaton Raid to do a shitload of damage. He also has Ziodyne (which he can randomly use instead) and Megidolaon if you reflect both Phys and Elec.

: I’m pretty sure that this follows the same rules as that one Mementos boss, where you can null (but not repel) elec and phys and he won’t go to Megidolaon.

: We’ll just make him drink of the wine of the wrath of God, then force him to hand over all the magatsuhi.

: “Once again, justice prevails.”

: “Ohhh shittttt! That was freakin’ amazin’, Joker!”

: “You were incredible! They never even planned on giving you a fair fight in there.”

: “Yes, I expected that would be the case. Our other trials have been rigged as well, after all.”

: “So you sent Joker in knowing full well the possible dangers!?”

: “I simply had faith in his skill. And to be honest… there was no other course of action available. Come now, we should head to the bridge. This shall be our moment to shine.”

: The prize counter in the high-limit area has a new weapon for Akechi, an accessory that gives you Pulinpa (why) and an accessory that nulls Despair. I grab the sword and the Despair Charm.

: I forgot to show it off earlier, but the chest you can see on the left has a new weapon for Joker in it. We’ll need to keep equipping Joker with new stuff, because you can’t get his ultimate melee weapon until New Game Plus.

: “We got that! Now let us through!”

: “I never expected you would make it this far. I commend you on your vigorous efforts. However, you will never proceed to the manager’s floor ahead.”

: I don’t know why she doesn’t just say a billion. Anyway, what we’re about to see here is a bit of an ass-pull if you’ve been using Akechi in the party the entire time.

: “WHAT!?”

: “What!? That’s not fair! You can’t give us an impossible task like that!”

: “Ah, you finally understand? That is the point. Your task will forever be impossible! Hence, I will emerge victorious!”

: “We had only just barely gotten 100,000 coins…”

: “In that case, there won’t be a problem.”

: “Not exactly. I already have the requisite coins right here.”

: “What…? How could that be!?”

: “Do you remember what we were told at the very beginning? Essentially, we could borrow as many coins from the casino as we already held on our card.”

: “Well yes, but…”

: “For example, had we borrowed the max when we had 10,000 coins, we would have ended up with 20,000. And had we then bet on Joker at the colosseum as a guest, our total would have grown to 460,000.”

: “Yes, but you’re speaking purely in hypotheticals. That’s not what actually happened.”

: “Correct, on Joker’s card. However, that is not the only card in our possession.”

: Akechi pulls out a mint condition first-edition Charizard, despite the fact that he probably would have been an infant when those released.

: “You have… another card!?”

: “That’s the Taro Tanaka card I told you to get rid of!”

: “Exactly. Instead of disposing of it, I secretly used it to gather coins and outsmart this system.”

: So here’s my question: WHY ISN’T MAKOTO DOING THIS!? This would have been prime SMART GIRL territory.

: “H-Hmph… so what? That’s still clearly not close to the required total.”

: “Actually, once my count reached 460,000, I borrowed the maximum amount a second time. After paying back the original 10,000, I was left with 910,000.”

: “Adding Joker’s total to that brings us to 1,010,000 coins. We can surely cross the bridge now.”

: I’m surprised they didn’t put that number in as a variable, because we actually have 1,010,230 coins.

: “Is there a problem? The manager’s room lies ahead. We won’t need to worry about coins after this. Or did you honestly intend on paying back such a large sum?”

: “Crow… it’s actually a little frightening how sharp you are…”

: “I’ll take that as a compliment. I’m glad I was able to contribute to our Phantom Thieves efforts. Now, we should hurry and let the bridge down before she decides to change the rules once again.”

: They come in the next day and Sae has installed a retinal scanner that specifically scans for eyeliner. Ann, Haru, and Yusuke quickly form a voting bloc to make Joker do it. It takes him days to get his face clean again and he has to endure Sojiro comparing him to Gene Simmons for the rest of the year.

: “Hell yeah, we’re almost there!”

: “We had better be ready for whatever lies ahead!”

: You see that door up the stairs? The one that’s just a giant roulette wheel? That should give you a pretty good idea of what Sae’s boss fight is.

: “A lot has happened, but we managed to get up here! Miss Manager’s days are numbered!”

: “How uncouth of you to simply barge in here. Elegance is necessary for victory as well, you know. I entertained you with all of my ‘games’, but it appears you are still far from satisfied.”

: “Very well. I’ve made preparations especially for that possibility. This will be a game of life and death from now on! No matter who I face, I shall not lose!”

: Sis, please, you’re embarrassing me. I mean really, the tramp stamp? Was that really necessary?

: “Our infiltration route is secure. We need to head back out and send the calling card.”

: “And once the calling card is sent, Sae-san’s Treasure will appear, correct?”

: “Yeah. Once the target is cognizant of the danger, that cloudy thing will take shape.”

: “I wonder… what will the Treasure look like?”

: “That depends on the person… for Kamoshida, it was a medal. Madarame’s was a painting, and Kaneshiro’s was fake money…”

: “Father’s was a plastic model…”

: “In other words… the Treasure is what marked the beginning of the Palace ruler’s aspirations.”

: “It could also be what caused their desires to swell.”

: “Thinking about it won’t get us anywhere though. Let’s head back and prepare the calling card.”

: “Speaking of that, it actually looks like there’s a shape formed in the haziness…”

: “If I had to guess… I’d say Sis’s Treasure is a police notebook.”

: “Right… your father was…”

: “She… probably thinks Dad died because the police were using him. That’s why she believes justice is meaningless, and that there’s no point living a subservient life…”

: “Dad’s death is even the reason she aspired to become a prosecutor and grew so obsessed with winning… she really loved him…”

: “Honest beliefs alone are not enough to get you through. Even I understand that pain… but that is exactly why we need to change our heart.”

: “…Yes, that it is.”

: “And now we’ve ascertained the location of the Treasure for that goal. Would you like to return to the entrance now, Joker?”

: We don’t have a fusion alarm, and all of the Personas I actually want to fuse are still locked. There is one I wind up fusing a bit later, without any alarms.

: There’s a TV quiz show thing we can do tonight, but why.

: Where’s the option for “SuperPACs funded entirely by infinite amounts of corporate dark money?”

: “Oh, you got it right! So… what do you think? Do I count as a citizen?”

: As usual, we call Kawakami. I’m really not sure why the game doesn’t do this automatically - I’m pretty sure it doesn’t cost you money, and there’s no reason you wouldn’t want it.

: “I’m going to the church with Futaba. Sorry, but you’re coming along too.”

: “No. We’re visiting Wakaba’s grave. Be ready in three minutes.”

: It might seem strange for Wakaba to be buried at a church when no one mentions her being particularly religious, but that’s because Atlus didn’t feel like designing a new set for one confidant scene.

: I mean, it’s either that, or Hashino really thinks that people are still buried in the church when they die.

: “I’ve been so busy with the shop and all… no, that’s not it. The guilt is what kept me from coming. I thought Wakaba would be angry with me…”

: “But now that I managed to get Futaba over here, I can finally meet her with my head held high. I sure kept her waiting… but it felt good to tell her about how much Futaba’s improved lately.”

: “Oh… I told her about you too.”

: “Idiot. I should be the one thanking you. Huh… this is the first time the four of us are all together.”

: “Sojiro? What are you smirking for?”

: “Er…”

: Sojiro is definitely an ending to Disco Elysium where Harry never realizes who he is and just kind of ends up here.

: “I approve.”

: “Phew… oh, I have some news. The family court gave me a call the other day. Futaba’s uncle decided to retract his report. It was 'cause of you, wasn’t it?”

: “I’m sure she’ll make a fine lady either way. After all… she is Wakaba’s daughter. sigh Do all fathers have to go through this anxiety…?”

: “You know, I really just wanted to have you help out at the store. But you showed me so much more… you showed me I have a family I need to protect. Not just Futaba… but you too.”

: “I may not always be reliable, but feel free to come to me if anything happens. I’ll be there for you… as family. And… ah, I know. I’ll teach you everything I know. You’re a full-fledged man now.”

: I watched part of a speedrun of the base game while working on this update, and it turns Persona 5 into a game about how fast you can get to sleep.

: “That might not be enough to return the favor… but it’s all I can do.”

: Kohryu is the second best Nuke Persona in the game, next to one that requires a bunch of stuff we can’t fuse yet. It’s one of the easiest ways to get high-tier Nuke skills onto Michael.

: I wound up fusing most of the components for it off-screen without using any alarms, because we can get all the skills we really need for Kohryu without them. I might buy an alarm for Kohryu itself.

: I also realized I haven’t shown the “max confidant theme” from Persona 5 at any point. Unlike The Path is Open (which ONLY played when maxing an S-Link in 3 and 4) the theme in 5 is shared with a bunch of other story scenes. It also sucks compared to The Path is Open.

: No can do. Nothing can stop Straight Joker and his limitless amounts of horny.

: “I can’t imagine you calling me ‘father’… although, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad…”

: “What are you two talking about?”

:“Nothing!”

: “I hunger! Curry time!”

: Next time, we’ll see Ohya’s Rank 9 (and Rank 10) scenes. We’ll also see Shinya’s Rank 9, Iwai’s Rank 9, and Tae’s Rank 9 (and 10). We’re almost done with confidants. Calling card? What’s that? Why would we send one of those?

: It’s actually kind of hard to believe I got this far into the LP. When I first started it, I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to finish, let alone 100% the game a second time.

: One minor addendum: before you leave Sae’s palace, make sure you grab one of these. They’re only on the first floor of the casino, and chances are you’ll auto-stomp them like I did without realizing it.

: Power is a trashsona, but it’s a component for Metatron and also itemizes into Bless Boost and Bless Amp. It also learns Null Curse, though by the time we get around to fusing Metatron, we’ll have a way to get Drain Curse in skill card form.

[SpammyV]

Maybe I’m reading too much into Nice Cop’s offhand comment about Joker’s friends but…

The entire scooby gang here goes to court to watch Sae prosecute, including Joker (That she knows lives with Sojiro and she recognized him at the start of the interrogation scenes), Futaba (That she was using to try to blackmail Sojiro), Makoto (That’s her sister), and Akechi (That does… police stuff). All of them show up, in person, to explicitly be seen together by Sae.

And she was still surprised Makoto was a part of the Phantom Thieves.

[Timrod]

Yeah, the parts with Makoto are a kind of a plot hole. There is a plot reason that she doesn’t ‘know’ who the Phantom Thieves are, but it’s… honestly kinda dumb. We’ll see that when we get to the bad ending of the base game, which happens pretty soon.

[drcakey]

@Timrod

: “This doesn’t make any sense to me. Does the author even understand what they’re saying…?”

This is making me think it would be extremely funny but extremely terrible if there were books that were so bad they lowered your stats.

@Timrod

: “I’m shocked that Niijima-san can think of somewhere this solemn as a casino…”

Haru…I can see the room. Atticus Finch isn’t exactly about to make his closing argument here. It looks more like my fourth-grade classroom.

@Timrod

: Here, though, the barrier isn’t the door to the courtroom: that would make sense. Instead, it’s that fence between the audience area and where the people actually involved in the trial are. In fact, if you look, you can tell that the barrier in Sae’s palace is just a bigger version of that fence.

I also, uh, don’t see the point of this interlude. If I were to guess, they were stressed that Sae’s Palace would feel shorter than the others, even though it’s the penultimate (I think) palace, since you don’t have to leave and come back five times.

@Timrod

: “Actually, once my count reached 460,000, I borrowed the maximum amount a second time. After paying back the original 10,000, I was left with 910,000.”

: “Adding Joker’s total to that brings us to 1,010,000 coins. We can surely cross the bridge now.”

This feels like the solution to one of the games in Liar Game. Only in Liar Game, the solution would have been twice as complicated and also 40 chapters earlier, Akechi would have said “Nao Joker, for this game I think we should act separately”.

@Timrod

This one’s gonna get a lot of angry letters about the question being ambiguous.

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 84

: Thank you game for giving me all these reading sessions when we have nothing to read.

: We unlocked Kohryu in the last update, and I want to fuse him - mostly because he’s the easiest way to fuse a component for Asura, but also because when you’re fusing very high-level Personas, the list of possible fusion components shrinks dramatically and we need every one we can get.

: You may recognize this specific combo of Personas, because they formed a fusion attack in Innocent Sin that was… underwhelming, to say the least.

New Persona: Okuinushi

Origin: Japan

First Appearance: Megami Tensei II

Japanese god with 80 brothers, all of whom vied for the love of a single princess. Saved a skinless rabbit (the Hare of Inaba) who predicted that he would be the one to marry the princess. Eventually marries the princess, which causes his brothers to conspire to kill him using such classic tricks as making him chase a “boar” (actually a flaming boulder) and crushing him between two halves of a tree.

After dying twice and being revived, he falls in love with Susano-O’s daughter, rendering the entire thing pointless.

: Someone really needs to do an edit of that “spicy keychain” comic where Okuinushi is crushed by a flaming boulder and going “My boulder! My boulder is red hot! How could you give your own brother the spicy boulder, Dominic!?”

: Anyway, we want Okuinushi for one reason: he learns Psy Boost and can pass it down to Seiryu.

Returning Persona: Yatagarasu

Origin: Japan

First Appearance: Megami Tensei II

Poorly-understood divine bird that is a servant of Amaterasu. Most of the sources of Shinto canon regarding it are contradictory, and it was probably mixed up with a different bird from Chinese mythology.

: Yatagarasu is a trashsona I’m fusing for the sole purpose of fusing with Okuinushi.

Returning Persona: Seiryu

Origin: China

First Appearance: Megami Tensei II

One of the four Chinese constellations representing the cardinal directions. Represents East, along with the color blue and wood. Also appears in Japanese, Vietnamese, and Korean myth. Known under a number of different names, including Qing Long in China… though the name most people in the West are going to be more familiar with is Shenron, the name he appears under in Dragon Ball.

: Seiryu is a vessel to pass down Psy Boost, but also learns Repel Nuke. Kohryu is weak to Nuke, so this will cover that gap.

Returning Persona: Byakko

Origin: China

First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei II

One of the four Chinese constellations representing the cardinal directions. Represents West, along with autumn and wind.

Returning Persona: Suzaku

Origin: China

First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei II

One of the four Chinese constellations representing the cardinal directions. Represents South, along with fire and summer.

: I think I already logged Genbu earlier, so let’s buy an alarm and put this all together.

New Persona: Kohryu

Origin: China

First Appearance: Megami Tensei

Dragon that rules over the four Chinese constellations. Represents earth and the changing of the seasons. Doesn’t appear in Japanese mythology.

: We don’t really need Spell Master that badly, because we already have Psychic Bloodline. With Psy Boost and Psy Amp, Kohryu is a pretty solid Psychic Persona, even if he’s not the best one.

: Anyway, let’s send the calling card.

: “So, when d’ya wanna send it? The earlier the better, right?”

: “No… in my opinion, we should wait until right before the time limit.”

: Read: “We should wait because Joker has to get caught right after the boss fight and we still haven’t seen Maruki’s Rank 10 scene which happens on 11/18.”

: “May I ask your reasoning behind that idea?”

: “Sae-san is a realist. Even if she believes the Phantom Thieves exist, do you think she knows how they steal hearts? Furthermore, there is a chance she expects that she herself will be targeted.”

: “So because her heart is ready for any possibility, the calling card might not have enough effect?”

: Wait, how would Akechi know this? He didn’t even know about the treasure thing until the party told him. I mean, I know he’s the killer, but still.

: “I only say that theoretically, but I believe so. Hence, it would be prudent for us to wait until we are driven into a corner to act. If we do so with no time to spare, I assume even Sae-san would have to be somewhat agitated.”

: “Hm, ensuring the Treasure actually appears… that sounds quite logical. Impressive, Akechi-kun… though it is a bit vexing that you know more about my sister than I do.”

: “Haha, that’s only because of my work as a detective. Well then, if our time limit is November 20th and we act the day after sending the calling card… shall we send it out on the 18th?”

: “We should prepare as much as we can before then. Well, I can’t complain about having more time. Make sure you’re ready, everyone!”

: “I brought it here in hopes of doing some serious gardening.”

: “Wow… she’s so diligent…”

: As it turns out, asking Haru to grow vegetables does not take time - I mean, it does in that you have to wait a few days. Remember those items we picked up from Sakai that double the next Physical or Magic attack?

: Haru can grow those. Your two best options here are probably the Moonlight Carrot (full SP restore for one person, basically a Soma) and the Star Onion, which doubles the next magic attack.

: Anyway, let’s do Rank 2 of her confidant. I grabbed an Empress Persona off screen when fusing Kohryu. You need Proficiency 5 for this event… but why wouldn’t you have that by this point?

: “The soil here would be so healthy if you were here more often. Honestly… I’m surprised that my gardening can be of use to our work as the Phantom Thieves. This started as just a hobby, so it’s amazing to see it transform into a more practical skill.”

: “Beyond this, I’ve actually begun raising plants of my own at home. …Coffee beans.”

: giggle “You’re so funny, Akira-kun! You don’t actually need a farm for coffee beans. You can grow them in a garden just like normal vegetables. Though… the plot I’m using at my father’s villa is large enough to turn into a farm if I so desired.”

: You don’t need a farm for coffee beans when you’re a multi-millionaire heiress who can simply buy a significant portion of Colombia.

: “Anyway, I recently discovered the joy in the taste and aroma of coffee. I used to think it was purely bitter, but now I understand the depths of its flavor… to tell you the truth, I wasn’t even able to drink it before…”

: “Ah, pardon me. I was just thinking back on the past… um… can I share with you again? As I mentioned before… I cannot bring myself to trust any of the employees at Okumura Foods.”

: “For as long as I can remember, the company has been run by my father. Being liked by him was always very important. Some employees would even come to ingratiate themselves to me.”

: “…But since his passing, things have gotten unruly. Most evidently, people have started trying to use my influence as majority shareholder to oust other employees. They say they come to me out of respect… but I know they really just want to use me.”

: “I’ve heard so many rumors… the worst ones are about Takakura-san, the new president. They say he was thrilled to hear my father passed.”

: Takakura is supposed to be the guy in Okumura’s unused will seed cutscene (at least I think he is).

: “There may be truth to that, though. He’s been with the company for years, but has only started being nice to me recently. He even offered to assist me with asset management. I fear he has an ulterior motive though…”

: Fun side note here. Haru’s confidant has the fewest wrong answers out of any confidant that isn’t an automatic rank-up (like Mishima’s or Yoshida’s). This is the only one you can even get wrong.

: “Yes, I can’t help but wonder about him… he even went as far as to recommend I sell my shares the other day. He said I could make a fortune…”

: I don’t get why she wouldn’t. I mean, she’s not an executive and isn’t drawing a paycheck, which are usually the only reasons executives stick around in reality.

: Theoretically, she could force them to hire her, but this whole thing feels like the writer had no idea how this kind of thing works in real life and decided to write it anyway.

: “Takakura-san must be scheming to take the company for himself… at least, its possible.”

: “Indeed it is… none of the advice I’ve gotten so far has been helpful either. Everyone only speaks out of their own self-interest… thank you for today though. I feel a little better after talking about this with you.”

: “Oh, and don’t worry. I’ll make sure I keep myself motivated, even through these difficult times.”

: “I’m going to stay here a little while longer to check the drainage. I need to make sure these vegetables turn out as good as possible for the Phantom Thieves.”

: “It’s not terribly important, but what vegetables do you tend to like most, Akira-kun? I might as well grow things that everyone likes eating.”

: I went with this one because it’s what the guide goes with.

: “Mm, I’m not sure I have seedlings for that. It sounds a little too big for a planter, too. But it might be worth growing! A melon just looks so gorgeous. Maybe I’ll try growing some in my garden.”

: I mean, given that she can grow onions in three days, I’m betting this is because the Umbrella-style T-virus laced fertilizer she’s using doesn’t work on melons.

: “Thanks for sharing your preferences. I’ll try my best to grow them. I hope you’ll be able to keep helping me. Good night for now.”

: Tonight, we’re doing Ohya’s Rank 9. I’m actually going to put off doing her romance scenes until probably after the next update, because that’s how much of a pain in the ass it is.

: “She’s gotten so skinny, she looked almost like a stranger… she wouldn’t say anything either. I think she had a… mental shutdown, is it called?”

: Ohya’s confidant sucks near the end because her Rank 9 is horribly low on points. Even if you get every answer correct, there’s a deficit of between 4 and 6 points to reach Rank 10 depending on whether you did the romance route or not.

: This means you need THREE affinity readings to be able to finish her confidant if you are not going down the romance route. It sucks! The first time I tried to record her Rank 10, I wound up having to reset because I thought I could accomplish it with two.

: “It’s still a mystery… she’s not in a state to talk about what happened. Her doctor said they found her collapsed in the street just about a year ago now. She had been wandering along the coast without any belongings, so the director’s wife took her in.”

: Wait, wouldn’t that be enough to prove that John Persona couldn’t possibly be the same one behind the murders?

: “…All we can do is pray. Either way, Kayo is still a suspect, so bringing her back here would just put her in danger again.”

: “Not necessarily. I have her hairclip. It looks like an ordinary accessory, but it actually has a miniature camera built inside. Remember that voicemail where she said she had something big? Well, it was all in the hairclip.”

: Kayo was somehow the only person smart enough to have insurance in case they got brain murdered. Akechi has been at it for a while.

: “…It was a picture of the bureaucrat’s secret meeting. The other party must be the one behind the slush fund. And that other party…”

: “Yup. It’s pretty clear that confidant was blackmailing the bureaucrat, and killed him for not paying up. Kayo must have managed to escape, but then ended up suffering a mental shutdown somehow…”

: “I’m not sure what could possibly cause something like that though… in any case, maybe that’s why they decided to leave her alive… heh… they underestimated her journalistic talent.”

: I feel like they should’ve done something with this in Royal - maybe as an alternative to Sae’s palace - to give people more of a reason to play through the game again.

: “But given the current situation, it’s going to be difficult to write an article about it. I wouldn’t have Kayo’s testimony, and even if I did, I wouldn’t be able to corroborate her story. I’d get crushed if I tried to take them on without being fully prepared…”

: “Who do you think I am? I’m gonna do whatever it takes to pursue the truth! I said I need to be fully prepared, didn’t I? It’ll just take a while.”

: “I’ve resigned myself to a long battle anyway. I have her photo. Now I gotta get some solid evidence, and lay the groundwork to prove her innocence. I’m going to avenge Kayo!”

: “…Well then, our deal’s over. It’ll be too dangerous for you to stick around from here onward. You understand, right? The opposition won’t think twice about taking down anyone in their way.”

: “I’m sure I’ll get targeted… so to be safe, you shouldn’t come here again.”

: “W-Wow, that’s mature of you… honestly, I appreciate the concern, but it’s really not that simple.”

: Joker: “Akechi can’t brain-murder me. He can’t even beat Gabriel, and by this time next month I’ll have Lucifer.”

: “Fine. If you’re sticking your nose in this on your own free will, then there’s nothing I can do. I’ll solve this case on my own… but I appreciate having a friend who’s got my back.”

: “All right, let’s have a kickoff party! We’re gonna break out the champagne tonight!”

: “Mannn… lamest kickoff party ever! I guess the booze doesn’t matter though. It’s all about the company!”

: “I know at first it was for the articles, but you don’t have any obligation to stay now, you know. Ohhh, I know. Did you take me seriously when I told the chief we were a couple? Geez, you kids today are so naive!”

: “That couple act…”

: “O-Of course. Thank goodness…! It would’ve been way too much trouble to be with a minor… what’s taking Lala-chan so long? And what’s with the heat? I mean, don’t you think it’s hot in here?”

: “All this heat is making me tired…”

: Three days of doing nothing but sleeping and getting affinity readings later…

: “Yep, replace the previous article. No worries, right? Might as well go all out if we’re gonna do this! I’m gonna scrap the others and rewrite them as well. Yep, tomorrow morning then…”

: “Sorry, that was the chief…”

: “I’m doing a special expose on the Phantom Thieves, and the chief’s helping me. It’s about their origin and the root of the problem they’re trying to solve. … I think it really captures the spirit of journalism.”

: “As if! Your observations and analysis are the heart of the story. The higher-ups were against it, but this expose has been very popular with our readers. Since we’ve sold so many copies, there’s nothing they can do about it… or us.”

: “So, we’re planning to throw in additional articles while we have the chance.”

: “Thanks. I’m still counting on your contribution to help us sell issues, you know. All riiiight, let’s throw a victory celebration! Lala-chan, I hope you have some champagne for us!”

: “That’s what I figured, so I reserved a bottle at the wine shop.”

: “I wanted to speak with you… in private.”

: “Oh, loosen up a bit, will ya? I’ve been quietly making preparations to write a story about Shido’s confidant too. I’m going to uncover the truth… I swear to Kayo. Thanks… again.”

: “Whenever I felt like giving up, you encouraged me to keep going. It’s all thanks to you that I was able to get this far…”

: “The chief’s change of heart happened exactly the same way as those other cases. And the timing was absolutely perfect. You’re the only one who could have orchestrated all that.”

: “Lala-chan’s more of a… phantom menace. Aw crap, she’s gonna be so pissed!”

: So what you’re saying is that Lala is singlehandedly responsible for ruining Star Wars? I mean, I don’t see how she could do any worse than George Lucas, or whoever Disney has on it these days.

: “I’m convinced from all the recent coverage that the Phantom Thieves truly are valiant. Helping the weak… punishing the bad… they actually do all those things. In a sense, you and I have the same objective. We both want to expose the ills of society…”

: “Sooo, I won’t tell anyone about your true identity. Let’s form a united front to fight evil. …If it weren’t for you, I never would have been able to return to my journalist self.”

: “My high schooler source who manipulated information ended up manipulating my heart too…”

: Wow that’s corny.

: “I’m gonna return the favor one of these days, all right? Ahahaha! Until then, we’ll race to see who can expose evil first!”

: Beelzebub is the best Curse Persona in the game, but there’s only 19 possible fusion combinations to make him - and of those, five involve ranking up a Belial or Nebiros via treasure demon fusion.

: “Anywaaaay, where the hell is Lala-chan…? Shall we get started then? Considering we’re already in a celebratory mood?”

: Joker pulls out the air horn. The horny has infected another one.

: Now that we’ve seen that, let’s move on to what we’re actually doing over the next three days.

: “We’re sending the calling card on the 18th, so we have less than a week left now. sigh I’m getting nervous.”

: Game, why are you doing this, I can’t make it go any faster.

: “You too, Akira? That’s surprising… still, this time is different than usual, having a set date to send the calling card and all. This mission will determine our fate. We have to succeed no matter what.”

: “Have you ever heard a recording of your own voice? Were you surprised? That’s because when you hear your voice normally, you hear it through your bones.”

: “The voice you hear in a recording that makes you feel uncomfortable is unmistakably your own voice. Now then, Kurusu-kun. Has hearing someone’s voice over the phone ever felt strange to you?”

: “I wonder. Do you know why voices sound so different over the phone?”

: “That’s correct. I’m surprised you knew the answer. The sound is synthetic… it’s practically not even their voice anymore. To transmit data, cell phones use a certain way of encoding your voice into digital information.”

: So wait, which is it - is it unmistakably my own voice, or is it bad voice encoding because cellphone manufacturers don’t really give a shit about the phone’s capability to make and receive calls?

: “Oh? You think you’d be able to tell if you were hearing a computer talking? As long as the tone and intonation match, the listener’s brain fills in any other differences. Most of our communication is based on assumptions.”

: “Yeah, my voice just sounds like meows to people who don’t know me. Geez… assumptions are dangerous.”

: Today, we’ll be doing Shinya’s Rank 9.

: On a side note, I tried recording Great Ace Attorney Chronicles for an LP. The first case is over four hours long, has a character assert their extraterritorial rights, and by the time I was a quarter of the way through it I had more than 1,400 screenshots. So yeah no, I’m not LPing that.

: It also kinda drags. There’s an entire plot point that really didn’t need to be there, and at the end of the day it’s basically a clone of a similar case from the third game.

: “My mom really did have a change of heart! When I got home, my mom cooked dinner. She made my favorite, hamburger steak! Then she admitted that she was wrong and apologized to me for getting so mad about everything.”

: “Yeah! It’s all thanks to the Phantom Thieves… and you, Kurusu-san. I guess winning and losing doesn’t matter when it comes to just being happy.”

: “Well, isn’t it true? The reason my mom was able to change is that she lost to the Phantom Thieves. Losing wasn’t the end at all. It brought my real mom back. Man, I’m so happy right now.”

: “Am I weird… for feeling happy about losing? I mean, all I cared about before was winning.”

: “Really? Well, if you say so, then it’s gotta be true! I wanna get stronger. Strong enough that I can protect my mom… I realized something from you and the Phantom Thieves.”

: “Instead of destroying others, protecting and saving people is what makes a person strong. You listened to my problems, and even confronted my mom for me… I-I guess that was pretty cool of you…”

: “By the way, do you remember Takekuma? The pro who beat me? I heard more rumors that he uses illegal armor. I wonder why he’s cheating…”

: “Yeah… I kinda understand how that feels. I might’ve cheated too, if I had known how.”

: “Okay, I’m gonna head home. Hey, Kurusu-san, are the Phantom Thieves… never mind! Bye! Let’s play again sometime!”

: The phone call for this event sucks. It’s basically a recap of what we already just saw in the confidant event, and I was going to cut it entirely.

: “My mom and I have been eating meals together every day now. She’s a really good cook! She even made my favorite hamburger steak! I’m so glad she’s back to her old self! I’m so thankful for the Phantom Thieves!”

: “What, me? Nuh… all I did was hand her the calling card. Oh yeah, could I give you a message to pass along to the Phantom Thieves? Tell them… thanks for changing my mom’s heart! I’ll become strong enough that I can protect her myself!”

: “…Okay? Oh, my mom’s calling me for me, so I’m gonna go. See you later! Mooom, what’s for dinner?”

: Gotta make sure to get those three fucking affinity readings for Ohya. Have I mentioned we also need two affinity readings for Dr. Femdom? Because we do.

: I may actually save Dr. Femdom’s Rank 10 for next update, because it’s a lot of re-recording and remembering to get readings.

: “This thing’s an antique. I’m not gonna sell it to anyone less than a real gun expert. Oh, and about Tsuda… I heard he got excommunicated from the clan. Apparently his boss found out about what happened. Serves him right, huh?”

: “…Think so. Pretty big relief, assumin’ it’s true. I mean sure, that bastard pissed me off, but I never once wished he’d up and die on me.”

: “This whole thing’s been real crazy though. I mean, Tsuda used to be the role model for upholdin’ the code… I guess this is what he meant when he said times’re changin’…”

: “The hell’re you doin’!? You motherfucker! Hey, hold on! Dammit! That bastard Masa’s abducted Kaoru!”

: “He damn well better be, or else Masa’s a dead man! God, that piece of shit! He knew about Tsuda’s failure the whole time… I bet he was just waitin’ for a chance like this!”

: “Right. They’re over at Seaside Park. I’ll grab the keys n’ lock up! C’mon, let’s go!”

: They should’ve written in a line where Joker turns to Iwai and asks “So uh, if the yakuza were about to buy a bunch of fake guns, do we even know that knife is real?”

: “Kaoru…”

: “I said, let Kaoru go!”

: “…So, what’re you gonna make me do?”

: …His entire plan is to take a shipment of fake guns, which the yakuza know are fake, and attempt to sell them to the yakuza anyway. Fucking brilliant writing.

: “Sorry Masa, but you got some real shitty timin’. We just broke ‘em all down. There’s nothin’ left.”

: “That ain’t true! I’m tryin’ to protect you, Kaoru!”

: I like to think that Iwai is facepalming not because his son is being held at knifepoint, but because he’s realized how incredibly stupid this entire situation is.

: “Kaoru…”

: “Akira…”

: “Kaoru, listen… there’s somethin’ I been keepin’ from you for a while now… and you’re prolly not gonna like it. Truth is, your real parents didn’t die in a car crash.”

: The truth is Kaoru’s the one who died in a car crash, and has now been isekai’d into a game written by Hashino.

: “You were abandoned by your mother when you were still a baby. That’s why I took you in. Believe it or not… I was actually part of the yakuza back then.”

: “Heh… chuckle attaboy, Kaoru. Listen, Masa… let’s put an end to this, right here, right now. We can start fresh.”

: Oh look, it’s Tsuda… with his gun that’s probably fake. I swear, they’re like goldfish.

: “Tsuda!?”

: “Looks like it. So, what now?”

: “…Take care, brother.”

: “Heh. Honestly, I’m surprised you stayed calm through all that. Guess you’re maturin’ quicker than I even realized…”

: “Heh, sure is. I never woulda been able to say all the shit he did. Y’know, I’ve been so busy makin’ sure he doesn’t end up like me that I forgot to see who he’s actually becomin’. Heh… I can’t believe I’m only just realizin’ this now.”

: “And it’s all thanks to you, kid. I appreciate it… for real.”

: What are you, Futaba?

: sigh “You seriously eat on a whole 'nother level. You might even end up taller than me someday. C’mon, let’s head over there.”

: This is another phone call I was strongly considering cutting entirely.

: “I’m glad Kaoru’s safe and all, but… man, he ended up with a hell of an appetite after that. Sure was somethin’… ‘connected by the gecko,’ huh? …The kid must’ve grown into a man while I wasn’t looking.”

: Why is he telling Joker this? Joker was there, and we’ve already been to the diner with Kaoru once already!

: “Ugh… after goin’ out to eat with you guys, I can barely move. Too stuffed. …But somehow, it’s the best feeling in the whole damn world…”

: “Thanks, Akira… you did some great work. Hah… you got me sayin’ all this sappy shit. Downright embarrassing. I gotta go get some air, cool down a little. All right. Later.”

: There’s another trade we can do today, and I’ll show it off even though there’s no reason to. The trade gets you an axe for Haru, but we just unlocked the Persona that fuses into Haru’s best axe - that being Beelzebub.

: The timing on fusing Beelzebub is going to be a bit tight, but I’m hoping to get it done before we fight Sae’s shadow.

: First, we want to buy a Moon Dango from the grocery store in Yongen-Jaya. This is convenient, since we’re doing Tae’s Rank 9 today.

: “Let me know if you need anything else.”

: “…Excellent. Then the rest is up to you.”

: “Yes, he’s my little guinea pig.”

: “He just so happened to be a year ahead of me in college. I told him everything since I was so close to perfecting the medicine. I have to thank you again. All this is thanks to you helping me with the clinical trials.”

: Government regulations? What government regulations?

: “I bet. Although it was really fun for me. From my tour of their medical facility and discussions I had with their development team… I’m confident this will be a success, and they’ll complete development on schedule.”

: “The final result will be out of my hands though… if I don’t accept their offer, that is. I was… recruited. He offered me the position of head of research and development at his hospital.”

: “…Which means I’ll have to close my practice. I start first thing next month. Unfortunately, Takemi Clinic of Internal Medicine will be gone.”

: I feel like the writers for Strikers stopped reading this right here, because her clinic is closed in Strikers.

: “I’ll urge my patients to transfer to that hospital, and I’ll be sure to give them priority there.”

: “…Just kidding. The part about being recruited is true, but I don’t intend to close my practice. I kind of like being a general practitioner. I’ll still work with them to develop new medicine though.”

: “Once the medicine’s perfected, I’ll be able to see Miwa-chan… and receive my reward: her smile. Oh, I need to give you your reward too. I’ll think of something to give my little guinea pig for holding up his end of the deal.”

: Her Rank 10 reward is kinda garbage, in that all it does is let you buy the equivalent of a Samarecarm (full heal + revive) in item form.

: “You were really concerned when you thought I was going to close this office. I know you said it was for your entrance exams, but come on, really?”

: “I think it’s about time you started being honest with me. It’s okay. You can tell me. Why do you keep coming to me?”

: “Is that so? Well, I can take a hint. It’s getting late… you should get going. Come visit anytime. I’ll see you later.”

: Here’s another phone call I probably should’ve just cut. In fact, had I known how bad a lot of these are, I probably would have made it a policy to skip them in general.

: “I’ve got my drug in the hands of someone I trust. Everything’s on track for the cure to go through. And something tells me… I’d never have gotten this far without you.”

: “Thanks for doing this. You stuck by me, even when one of those side-effects could have killed you. You really are the best guinea pig I could’ve hoped for.”

: “Well, it’ll still need some tests and adjusting before it’s ready for actual treatment. Still needs lots of work. But I have faith that someday soon, I’ll help Miwa-chan smile again.”

: “…And I haven’t forgotten all you did to help. I’ll make sure to bump up your compensation a little. Okay, I’m going to hang up now. We’re done with the clinical trials, but you can drop by anytime you need some more medical supplies.”

: Dammit! You don’t tell someone you’re going to hang up and then just keep on talking! That’s not how that works!

: “Might as well keep getting checkups, too. Better safe than sorry, right? I’ll look at whatever you need me to.”

: We can trade the Moon Dango for the axe now, but… why.

: When I saw this, I went “Wait, what? Is this supposed to be a parody of Saw?” The answer is yes.

: Shortly before this, you can hear an elephant and a guy who sounds like Jigsaw. I’m kind of curious what this movie’s title is in Japanese.

: “How was it for you? Do you like scary movies?”

: “Yay, me too! Thanks for hanging out with me today. I had a lot of fun! It’s too scary to watch these alone - and I didn’t have any friends I could ask before, so…”

: “I’m really happy that we could watch it together! Ah, it’s time we headed back home.”

: We’re going to stop here, because this update was cursed. First I got to the night of 11/14 (which, as it turns out, is actually when we do Ohya’s Rank 10) and realized I forgot to go down the romance route.

: Then I found out that my screenshot tool fucked up and none of the screenshots took, so I also lost Haru’s event that day.

[Timrod]

Summary

: Let’s pick the other choice.

: Oh no! Our fake romance has become a real one, just like every time any writer ever has used this as a plot device!

: “I-I mean, um… seriously?”

: “Urgh, y-you shouldn’t be so straightforward…! B-But, I… um… I… what I’m trying to say is… I think the feelings are… mutual.”

: A lot of these romance routes feel like the writers didn’t intend for there to be one, and then Hashino (or some other exec) shows up and goes “No, we need romance routes for EVERY FEMALE CHARACTER.”

: “Hold on - you seemed to drop that line pretty easily, didn’t you? If you’re this smooth now, who knows how big of a player you’re gonna be when you get a little older! You’re gonna dump me, huh!?”

: “…Just kidding. I’d understand if you decided to dump me someday though. I mean, you have a bright future ahead of you… so I’d probably just be holding you back.”

: “But I guess I can stick around until then… I-I can’t wait to see where our relationship goes, Akira.”

: “Let’s keep this a secret from Lala-chan… God, I can already hear her teasing me about it! …And stop looking at me like that! I’m so embarrassed!”

: “Um… sorry. Never had a high-schooler boyfriend before. Not sure how I’m supposed to act now. Look, the point is I, uh… crap, I forget. Yeesh, am I that old now!?”

: “Actually, do YOU have anything you wanna say to me instead? Cause now’s the time.”

: “W-What the… you are WAY too smooth for a high schooler! Where’s this coming from!? That’s the type of line that seals the deal at nightclubs. God, you are gonna be an absolute menace in a few years…”

: “B-But… there are worse things than looking after a guy like that. Kind of a thrill, actually. …I’m feeling sooo weird today, haha. Sorry, let me get myself together.”

: Now let’s do her Rank 10 romance scene. Fun fact, the first time I saw this I thought I had hit a non-rankup event because it uses the same music as a lot of the non-rankup events and I wound up reloading the game, only to realize that no, that was the Rank 10 event all along.

: “…It reminds me of the time I came here with Kayo. This is a special place for me. It’s where I convinced Kayo to become my partner. Since I’ve been re-examining my career as a journalist recently… I wanted to come back here.”

: “And… I wanted to talk to you about…”

: At this point, she gets the phone call that she gets at the start of the other Rank 10 event. The dialog is identical until after the rank-up screen hits.

: “Let’s go someplace I can have fun with a minor… like, maybe an amusement park? Or…”

: “Really? You’re not just being lazy, are you? Then… you wanna come over to my place? I’m not a very good cook, but I’ll make you something…”

: Is that something going to be canned crabmeat?

: “Wh-What’s with the shocked look!? Even a journalist cooks at home from time to time! I just want to… relax with you. Eat some delicious food, have some dessert, lie around…?”

: And then they fuck. I’ll be doing Tae’s romance scenes next… once I finish recording them. This whole three-day waiting period is shit.

[drcakey]

@Timrod

Oh no, Shido also has the Wild Card!? Truly a dangerous enemy…

@Timrod

: Shortly before this, you can hear an elephant and a guy who sounds like Jigsaw. I’m kind of curious what this movie’s title is in Japanese.

I thought about it a little. The Japanese name for Saw is just Sou, and the Japanese word for elephant is zou, so the title is probably just Zou.

@Timrod

: Oh no! Our fake romance has become a real one, just like every time any writer ever has used this as a plot device!

The real Nisekoi was within us the whole time.

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 85

: More pointless reading time.

: “Is this philosophy? I’m not sure if I like this writer. He seems a bit condescending…”

: I could say the same thing about Hashino, only I definitely know I don’t like him.

: “So, you’ve finished reading Wise Men’s Words. I wonder if these old philosophers had many friends… they’re always talking to people, but I dunno…”

: “Geez… you all look like a bunch of dead fish. What was it? Your phone? Video games? I know you were up late. I always wake up at sunrise. On the other hand, kids these days…”

: “I always wake up at sunrise, and then I sit on my porch shaking my fist at all the people passing by until it’s time to go to bed.”

: “Hey, Kurusu! Are you awake!? Look at this map!”

: “Tell me why that is.”

: Back in his day, he climbed Mount Fuji every day to get to school. It was uphill both ways.

: “That’s right. The more east and south you go, the earlier the sun rises. However, what affects it most is altitude. So, excluding the outlying islands, the sun rises earliest on Mt. Fuji.”

: “That said, who knows when dawn will ever come for this country. The government and police are completely incompetent. Those Phantom Thieves need to be caught before anything else.”

: “We’ll show you… we’ll show you who’s just.”

: Today, we’ll be doing Haru’s Rank 3.

: “Within its gentle care, even a tiny seed can awaken, spread its roots, and grow up towards the sun. It’s almost like a mother. …Perhaps that aspect is why I find this place so comforting.”

: I don’t think Atlus ever explains who Haru’s mother is, even in the “extended universe” type material.

: “You know, I only started taking care of these planters because one of my teachers asked me to. I was hesitant at first… but I liked it so much that I kept them long past the original request.”

: “I started mixing my own fertilizer, adjusting soil ratios… now I raise these plants in complete secret. But um, Akira-kun… I’m worried about what the school might do if they found out about this.”

: The real question is why she wouldn’t just, you know, make a garden at her giant mansion.

: giggle “You’re so dependable. In that case, we can be partners in crime! Honestly, Akira-kun… I really enjoy the time we spend together… it’s so different from how I feel when I’m around him.”

: “Oh, sorry… I meant my fiance. That reminds me though, I wanted to ask your advice about him… this whole arrangement began when my father first introduced us, around the winter of my second year in high school.”

: “I was told we were just meeting his friend for dinner… but then he said that ‘friend’ was to be my fiance. It was surprising… but I suppose I had always known I would someday be married off for political gain.”

: “So… I accepted, and that was the start of our relationship.”

: Naturally, they had to put this in or the fanbase would probably riot.

: “A-Anyway, I was never exactly fond of him to begin with, but now he has grown far worse. Recently he’s been suggesting we go on an ‘early honeymoon’ together to celebrate our coming marriage.”

: “I can’t even stand to look at him though… let alone spend any actual prolonged time together. So, um… what can I say to decline his offer…?”

: “R-Right. I suppose it would be best to simply be clear about it. As you know, my father passed away before he could fulfill his promise to rescind the marriage proposal… so any conversation about putting a halt to the marriage will have to come from me.”

: “To tell the truth… I’ve already mentioned it to my fiance. But he refuses to listen to a single word I have to say. Apparently, he’s even been telling the employees at Okumura Foods about the contract he made with my father…”

: “How the company would have to pay extreme reparations if it got called off for any reason…”

: In the US, this is outright unenforceable, and I’m pretty sure the same is true for Japan.

: “I just… don’t know how to handle this. I can postpone while I’m still in high school, but after that…? Thinking about it now, it seems my father’s death has turned out to be quite favorable for my fiance.”

: “I suppose in the end, all he really cares about is his own personal gain… but that’s not what a relationship is supposed to be built on. It should be something more…”

: “Something like… a love so intense that just seeing the other person makes your chest tighten up. Have, um… have you ever experienced that?”

: All of the answers here give you full points, but I think if you use Chihaya’s thing it’ll tell you to do the second one. Naturally, we’ll pick the first, because it’s true.

: “Really…? That’s so romantic. I’m actually a little jealous. Of you… and of the girl.”

: It’s funny to me that answering that way doesn’t lock you out of the romance route. Joker looks at her and goes “Girl? You do realize Yusuke and I are dating, right?”

: “But… there’s no spark like that with my fiance. Spending time with him is almost like some kind of training… still, any hardship I go through now will surely help the Phantom Thieves eventually. I’ll get through this!”

: Unfortunately, we won’t have all of Haru’s abilities until the final dungeon of the base game.

: “Oh, it’s getting late. I should probably get back to my gardening. Well, I think I’ll be staying here a little while longer. See you later.”

: “Um… you remember we talked about my fiance. He won’t stop asking me to spend the weekend with him. My excuse was that my friend was calling me… so here I am, away from him.”

: “Hee hee… I’ve never done anything like that before. My heart was pounding! He’s been getting more and more persistent. At this rate, I don’t know how long I can play along…”

: “But hearing your voice calmed me down a bit. Thanks for listening to me. I’ll let you go for now… see you later.”

: “I wonder if the Phantom Thieves had a hand in that. Many of those shows had noble thieves and shady people. Nezumi Kozo was one of the gentleman thieves in the Edo period.”

: I wasn’t able to find any info on whether or not Nezumi Kozo was a real person, but I’m gonna lean no given that the Wikipedia page has no sources.

: “According to one theory, he stole over one billion yen, making him the most wanted man of the era. He was to be paraded through the city, and punished in a very particular way. How was he punished?”

: “That’s right. One of the most severe punishments of the Edo period, in fact. Right before his execution, they did something to his appearance. They put light makeup and lipstick on him and made him wear a beautiful kimono.”

: I’m just picturing this guy at trial in an ancient Japanese courtroom and the judge looks at him and goes “The court really doesn’t give a shit about the thieving part, but finds your wardrobe… outdated. I sentence you to a makeover.”

: Shit, they should make a court show where the judge is a kid and all of their decisions are legally binding. Just have some kid find the trial boring and sentence both parties to a makeover.

: “The parading around town of a well-known criminal was a sort of performance back in the day. The citizens wouldn’t have been satisfied if he had looked shabby.”

: “I wonder what will happen if those Phantom Thieves get arrested. These days, it won’t just be their heads that will be put on display.”

: “…People are having fun thinking about that, huh.”

: In the canon route, we’re doing Haru’s Rank 4 today. However, because of how Tae’s confidant works, we’ll be doing her Rank 10 first.

: Tae’s Rank 10 happens during the day if you are on the friendship route, and at night if you are on the romance route.

: Like Ohya, Tae’s Rank 9 is short on points - you need four points (two readings worth) to get from Rank 9 to Rank 10. Fortunately, I had miracle RNG and Joker gained the points in his sleep.

: To get an idea of how rare this is, you have about a 50% chance of getting a social stat point if you skip a night by sleeping. The other 50% gives you three points to a random confidant - but it doesn’t do a sanity check to remove confidants that are already maxed.

: This scene is kind of unique in that the friendship route has dialog that the romance route does not. The romance route (also part of the cursed recording) takes place at Leblanc instead.

: “What are you talking about?”

: “Oh, that’s not true.”

: Joker’s like “It really doesn’t matter, because this is anime and we all know the childhood friend is never a valid romance choice.”

: “Likely because she’s jealous of you. Just be careful because it might result in pandemonium.”

: “She even comes in on days she doesn’t have to. It appears she’s nearly fully recovered. Which reminds me, the new medicine will be completed soon. Your data has been extremely helpful, due to your generic body type and bland health history.”

: Oh, I see. Miwa’s an anime protagonist.

: “You’ve been a splendid guinea pig… I mean, participant. So, thanks again. By the way, how have I been doing? Have I been helpful?”

: “…Come on. You and I both know that you were lying about needing to prepare for the entrance exams.”

: “I visited Oyamada in jail. A swing of fortunes like that could have only come at the hands of the Phantom Thieves. And to have it happen when it did… isn’t the only logical conclusion to think that it’s you?”

: “A normal person would probably… notify the police. Well, I don’t care. The point is that without you, I wouldn’t have been able to complete my mission.”

: “I would’ve never finished the new medicine… while I was being deceived by Oyamada. And I would’ve never met any of the townspeople…”

: “I bet the Phantom Thieves save people in need, just like doctors do, huh? So, I’ll go out on a limb for you. I’ll have even more powerful medicines ready for you… I trust that you’ll use them appropriately.”

: Alice is like Shiva and Ardha - she’s a Persona with specific components that doesn’t show up in the advanced fusion menu. Her components are a direct reference to SMT 1… which is kind of unfortunate given that SMT 1 never got an official localization.

: Her components are Nebiros and Belial, who were her servants in SMT 1. That fusion combination (or some variation of it) has been used in every game where Alice is an obtainable demon.

: I fused her on the cursed run, but let me just log her using some shots borrowed from the SMT wiki.

Returning Persona (technically): Alice

Origin: SMT Original

First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei I

While her appearance is based on Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland, this Alice is actually an undead girl from Shin Megami Tensei I who is resurrected by Nebiros and Belial - and it’s heavily implied that the Alice who shows up in SMT II, SMT if, Devil Survivor and SMT IV is the same one from SMT I.

: Alice is a Persona who was a lot more useful in the base game (where Ryuji’s Insta-Kill ability didn’t give you EXP and money), but who is basically useless in Royal. By the time you’re able to fuse her, you’re either going to be high enough level that you can insta-kill any random encounters you come across or you’re going to have something better.

: My biggest problem with her is that she doesn’t itemize into the Karma Ring or Linden Amulet that we had in Innocent Sin… and will pass down to Eternal Punishment if I ever get the chance.

: “So you better make some money in the name of ‘justice’. giggle Now, go. Take care.”

: Now for Haru’s Rank 4. We also need to buy an alarm today, because I want to fuse Beelzebub.

: Haru’s Rank 4 requires Proficiency 5. I think I said it was her Rank 3, which is incorrect.

: “Well, I’ve decided to start studying the topic more seriously by going out to places like this. I’ve been keeping it a secret from my fiance though. You see, just a single cup of the Dark Ivory coffee here costs roughly six thousand yen.”

: You can probably guess what joke they’re going to make here, given all the news coverage around exotic coffee around the time the base game was written.

: “I’ve heard it is. Apparently, the beans they use here are exceedingly rare. At the very least, we should try it before passing judgment. Well, shall we order? I’ll be paying for your cup as well.”

: Joker’s like “Look, I’m going to spend almost a million yen on Beelzebub tonight. Two cups of coffee is nothing.”

: giggle “You’re such a gentleman, Akira-kun. But allow me to handle this. I invited you, after all. On top of that, aren’t you supposed to always listen to your elders?”

: “Well, here we go…”

: Why does it smell like Girimehkala in here?

: “…It has a distinctly fragrant aroma, paired with a mild flavor. This is undoubtedly delicious, yet… I would barely consider it coffee.”

: No! Bad Girimehkala! Get out of the chocolate-covered coffee beans! Great, now he’s not going to sleep for a month."

: The actual brand name for the elephant shit coffee is Black Ivory. I’m not sure how popular it is now that the whole “coffee beans made from animal shit” fad is largely over.

: giggle “I apologize for not disclosing that to you earlier. I just thought you might find it hard to enjoy if you had known ahead of time. I was surprised to hear it at first myself, but that was actually why I wanted to try it to begin with.”

: “Another rare type of coffee, kopi luwak, is gathered from the feces of a small cat called a civet. Interestingly enough, the flavor differs depending on what animal it was originally consumed by.”

: Kopi Luwak has a lot of problems involved with it, including the factory-style farms used to make it that have raised allegations of animal abuse and the large amount of fakes sold as the real thing.

: I’ve also read that there’s a few types of coffee which are much cheaper that have close to the same flavor Kopi Luwak does.

: Joker gets on his phone and texts Morgana: “Hey Morgana, can we monetize your shit?”

: giggle “Perhaps it could become Leblanc’s new specialty drink. Oh, but we need Mona-chan for our operations, huh? We can’t afford to make him eat beans all day… hm… coffee is so profound…”

: The civets don’t actually eat the beans - they eat the cherries the beans grow in. The beans are a by-product.

: “T-Takakura-san!?”

: “Oh, he’s a friend from school. Akira-kun, this is Takakura-san, the new president of Okumura Foods.”

: If you look closely, you’ll see little blue-green blobs floating around. That’s because it’s Flu Season. It’s really noticeable a few shots down.

: “Well, I…”

: “R-Right. We’re in the process…”

: “N-No, that’s quite all right. And, um… about the shares… I can handle them for now. I’m going to protect that which my father left for me.”

: “Hey, um… what did you think of him?”

: giggle “You’re so honest, Akira-kun. But… I agree. I really don’t know whether or not I can trust him. Right now, the most prevalent rumor about Takakura-san is that he was pleased by my father’s passing…”

: You might notice this confidant event is rather long, and that’s because in the base game, this was most of the interaction you got with Haru. I think it feels kind of unfocused though - it’s like they didn’t know whether they wanted to make Haru’s confidant about her or about Okumura Foods.

: “I mean, he was certainly the person who stood to benefit the most from it… it’s hard to deny that fact. But… he says he’s trying to rebuild our company image. I just can’t tell if he really means it…”

: “…You know, sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I didn’t have money… if I was normal. Don’t get me wrong, the company is definitely important… but it’s often nothing more than a source of stress.”

: “With you guys though… I feel like I actually belong. That’s why I’m going to work extra hard to make sure my harvests turn out great!”

: “Oh, and as for that ‘Sugimura-san’… that’s my fiance. He’s been really showering me with presents lately. One night he even left a bouquet of roses on my pillow.”

: “But… he would have needed one of my servants to help him accomplish that, right? What a scary thought… even worse, Takakura-san has been hurrying to get us married after what happened to my father.”

: It also feels like Hashino didn’t know whether he wanted Haru to be an out-of-touch rich girl or not.

: “Even worse, Takakura-san has been hurrying us to get married after what happened to my father. He claims it’s because of the profit the marriage will bring to the company… but there has to be more to the situation than just that.”

: “Anyway, I’ll look a little deeper into Takakura-san. Perhaps he truly was pleased by my father’s death. Maybe I should start by asking the employees who are trying so desperately to win my favor…”

: “Well, goodbye.”

: “You took the time out of your schedule to hang out with me, but we ended up dealing with my own drama…”

: “Hee hee… I’ll let you know if I find another nice spot. It won’t always be that luxurious though. …Lately, I’ve felt so suffocated. I don’t know who to trust anymore.”

: “But it’s so reassuring to have someone like you. Someone who listens to me. I’m going to do whatever I can to look further into Takakura-san. I might come to you for help again if I find something… well, see you again later.”

: If we were still following the trash guide, we’d be doing Chihaya’s Rank 9 tonight. Instead, we’re going to go for Mishima’s Rank 10… just as soon as I buy a fusion alarm.

New Persona: Scathach

Origin: Ireland

First Appearance: Devil Summoner

Scottish warrior who trained Cu Chulainn in martial arts and gave him his spear, the Gae Bolg.

: There’s two routes you can go down with Beelzebub, which we’ll see in just a bit. We fuse Scathach out of Pale Rider and Ganesha to pass down Curse Boost.

New Persona: Surtr

Origin: Norse Mythology

First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei I

Norse fire giant who rules Muspelheim, the land of fire. Wields the flaming sword Laevateinn.

: We need Surtr because he’s one of the only Personas we can fuse right now that will fuse into Beelzebub. Blazing Hell and Fire Amp isn’t bad either - though I could (and actually did, on the cursed run) make Surtr with Fire Boost as well. With that, he’s a pretty good source of fire damage.

New Persona: Ishtar

Origin: Mesopotamia

First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei II

Mesopotamian goddess of love, war, and fertility. Features heavily in the epic of Gilgamesh.

: I fuse Raphael and a treasure demon into Ishtar, who is normally a pure support Persona. Her job is to pass down Spell Master to Beelzebub. Finally, with Surtr and Ishtar…

New Persona: Beelzebub

Origin: Canaanite Mythology

First Appearance: Megami Tensei

Originally a Canaanite god by the name of Baal Zevuv (meaning “Lord of the High Place”) that may or may not have been the same god as Hadad. The Judeo-Christian faith turns him into a demon by the name of Baal Zebub (meaning “Lord of the Flies”) as a way of mocking the Canaanites. Catholics consider him to be one of the first three angels to fall, along with Lucifer and Leviathan.

: Welcome to Christianity, where if your god isn’t our God, it’s automatically a demon. There’s two routes we can go down with Beelzebub.

: He starts with Maeigaon and Mamudoon, then quickly learns Concentrate and Curse Amp. This is the first route, where you use him for damage rather than instakills. It’s the one I picked, and with a side of Blazing Hell and Fire Amp, he’s also a good (but not great) fire caster.

: The other route involves dropping Maeigaon and Curse Amp and instead picking up Demonic Decree, turning Beelzebub into an instant-kill user with Demonic Decree for targeting weaknesses.

: The problem with the second route is that it’s kinda pointless when Alice exists. Beelzebub is also one of the few Personas to learn Curse Amp, and it’s a total waste if you don’t use it. Plus, Maeigaon with Curse Boost and Curse Amp (along with Beelzebub’s naturally high magic stat) is probably going to out-damage Demonic Decree.

: I then itemize him into Haru’s final melee weapon. Dizzy is nice because anything used on a dizzy enemy is a technical, and a higher Magic stat is always welcome - especially on Haru, due to her ability to hit technicals.

: “How I’ve changed. For some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to run away back when I saved him. So, I was thinking why that may have been.”

: “Honestly, I was pretty desperate at the time, so I don’t remember much… but in the back of my head, I was thinking what you would do in that situation, Kurusu.”

: “I mean, you put yourself on the line to stop Kamoshida, and probably other villains too. So, I thought there had to be something I could do myself.”

: “You know… I’ve always wanted to change. I wanted to go from the dull nobody everyone messes with to the famous world-renowned hero. But you helped me realize something important.”

: “Heroes aren’t heroes because they’re famous… it’s because they fight for other people. Looking back on it, what I really wanted to change was the weak me.”

: “The me on the volleyball team who let wrongdoing go unpunished, even though I knew it was unjust… the cowardly me who looked the other way when people I knew were in need of help…”

: Strange of him not to mention the horny him who kept trying to get laid at all costs.

: “…Tell me the truth. I only changed because you stole my heart, right?”

: The funny thing about this is that it’s actually a major plot point. No, really. It’s a major plot point that’s in a totally optional scene.

: “Huh!? You mean I didn’t have a change of heart? What…? …No, it really was you. You changed my heart. All this time, I’ve been looking up to the Phantom Thieves, pretending to be a collaborator.”

: “And now I’m finally able to stop pretending. Truth be told, I had given up. I accepted that I was a zero… that my existence was meaningless. But I’ve learned. I may not be able to change the world, but I can change myself.”

: “Whether I sulk about my inability to do anything, or hold my head high and look to the future… my perception shapes the boundaries of my world. It all comes down to what’s inside my heart.”

: “I might still mess up every so often, but as long as you’re here, I’ll be able to stand up again. So I may not be the best person around, but you can feel free to rely on me at least sometimes!”

: And there we go. That’s one of the last components we need for Lucifer… but unfortunately, we can’t do anything with Sandalphon yet. We can’t fuse Metatron yet, and we don’t have the one skill I really want on Sandalphon to pass down to Lucifer - we need either the final Persona from Futaba’s route or the final Persona from Morgana’s route for that.

: “That’s all I can really do for you right now… but I’m working on that documentary too. I even plan on making it into a book someday. I’d bet anyone who reads about the Phantom Thieves would find the hidden courage within themselves.”

: “Maybe that means I can use that book to change people’s hearts!”

: “All right, I’m on it! Oh, but before that… I’m hungry. Come on, let’s grab a bite to eat on the way home. Maybe a buffet…? Wait, no. We should save that for after I get all my book royalties! Heheh, you’d better be looking forward to it.”

: We have reading time today, but instead of doing that, we’re going to use this time to do one last crafting session.

: The Perma-Pick is an infinite-use lockpick. We got the ability to craft it some time ago, but didn’t have the materials to do it - though I believe you can buy them once you unlock Akihabara.

: Its usefulness is kind of dubious at best. There’s only a few locked chests left in the game, and while we can now open all the locked chests in Mementos, the only things we’re going to find in there are dirty armor and healing items (and maybe the occasional black item, but we only need so many of those).

: In Royal, the Perma-Pick carries over to New Game Plus… but by that point, there’s no reason for you to use it. Your equipment carries over in both the base game and Royal, and the stuff in the chests doesn’t scale.

: Anyway, let’s move on to Maruki’s Rank 8. We’re two days before the time limit to finish his confidant, after all.

: “Not! I had you going there, didn’t I? Kurusu-kun, you’re in for a real treat today! I know it’s been a while since you’ve had one, too!”

: chuckle “Good question. So, I recently found this delicious-looking buffet. It’s apparently very well-regarded, has all sorts of cuisines… well, thanks to your input, I’m making some real progress on my paper.”

: “I’d like to take you to that buffet, as my way of thanking you. How does that sound?”

: “Of course! Honestly, I feel like this won’t even cover what I owe you after all you’ve done for me. Well, that settles it, then! We should head over there now, before they get too busy.”

: “Mmhm! Dig in! Although… maybe I went a bit overboard for my first trip? Hahaha… oh, right! Sorry, would you mind if I asked you about something before we eat? It’s about my paper…”

: They gave Shibusawa a portrait, despite the fact that he only really shows up in two scenes. This is probably because he’s recycled assets - he’s Maruki’s portrait with different hair.

: “I knew it! Shibusawa, in the flesh! What are you doing here?”

: “That’s my line. It’s rare to see you in a restaurant like this one. …Oh? And who might this be?”

: “Oh, he’s, uh… how do I put it?”

: “Ahaha, no, not at all. Anyway, this is Kurusu-kun.”

: “Nice to meet you. I’m Shibusawa.”

: “Shibusawa was one of my colleagues back in college. He’s the one who recommended I pursue a counseling career.”

: “And I hear it’s been doing you some good, too. I catch wind of your goings-on every so often. Honestly, it’s a big relief. You have so much more compassion than most, but you can also be a bit too carefree.”

: “You didn’t have to mention that part - not that I can refute it…”

: “But anyway! Tell me more about how you’ve been - fill me in on this guy too!”

: “Oh, uh, but aren’t you here with others? What about them?”

: “Eh, it’s fine - we just happened to swing by here. They won’t mind my being away for a bit. And do you think you two are really gonna be able to tackle all that food on your own?”

: “What? Oh… right.”

: “And that’s where you’re counseling now?”

: “Yeah. But only part-time.”

: “So what are you two doing out at a place like this? This isn’t some kind of private counseling session, right?”

: “He’s, well… he’s been giving me a hand with my research. I just brought him here as a thank-you for all his help.”

: “…Research?”

: “I had meant to mention this earlier, but… my paper is finally almost finished.”

: “Mm, it’s all thanks to you, though.”

: “Paper? The one you were doing research for… you mean you’re still…?”

: “Yep… I’m still at it. Even after all of what went down. You remember what I told you? That I’d finish this paper no matter how long it took me.”

: “Maruki… hahaha! You blow my mind sometimes! I swear, you’ve gotta be the most stubborn man in the world!”

: “Is that supposed to be a compliment? And anyway, it’s not 100% complete yet. I haven’t even begun the peer review process.”

: “Oh, seriously? I’d be more than happy to peer review it for you. I mean, I did perform all the peer reviews for your publications in college!”

: “Huh? Really!?”

: “Of course, man, why not? In fact, that’s it - this is now officially a celebration! The meal’s on me today!”

: “Oh, I couldn’t do that. I’m supposed to be treating Kurusu-kun today…”

: “Oh, don’t worry so much! Don’t you wanna congratulate him too, Kurusu-kun?”

: What Joker desperately wants to say is “The ‘middle-aged guys who peaked in college’ energy in here is a bit too strong and I feel like I need to leave.”

: “See? He’s up for it too.”

: “I-I do appreciate it, but I have to say, I have mixed feelings about this…”

: “Oh, don’t sweat the details! C’mon, let’s go for a second round. We’ve gotta hit up the meat section! And the vegetables. And the beans!”

: “Yeah… maaan, am I gonna get an earful for piling on the pounds.”

: “Hm? By who?”

: By all the people at the home he runs for middle-aged guys who can talk about nothing but what college was like.

: “My girlfriend - well, my fiance to be more exact. I’m getting married soon.”

: Soon, he will graduate from ‘college guy’ to ‘wife guy’.

: “Ah, I see… wait - married!?”

: “Yep, married! Now you’re the only one left from school who’s still flying solo.”

: “…”

: Maruki’s like “That’s not fair! I want to be a wife guy, but no one cares about all the stories about how I played football in college!”

: “Sorry to pry, but I feel like I need to ask. Are you still…? Actually, forget I said anything.”

: “She was my girlfriend back when I was still a student. Well, I was just too spineless at the time, and we broke up in the end.”

: “…”

: “It’s just that… I don’t feel ready to enter another relationship of that sort right now. Heh… this was supposed to be a celebration, yet I’ve thoroughly killed the mood. Sorry about that.”

: “No, no, it’s my bad for bringing it up in the first place. Why don’t we wrap things up here? I have to say, it’s really good to see you doing well - and with your paper almost finished, too!”

: “Hey, Kurusu-kun. Keep an eye on this guy for me, all right?”

: Hold on a second. You were the one who convinced Maruki to be a therapist, and yet you think he has difficulty opening up to people? Isn’t that kind of a key trait for a therapist?

: “You’re talking about me like I’m some sullen kid… but I do need to express my appreciation properly. Thank you so much for helping someone like me make their dream come true, Kurusu-kun.”

: “Well, should we get going?”

: “Don’t forget to send me that paper, okay? I’m seriously going to review it for you.”

: “Haha, I won’t. I’ll be in touch soon.”

: “I was supposed to treat you out today, huh? Sorry things didn’t go as planned. Shibusawa’s always been quick to offer me his help. Well… maybe it’s because he knows I’m a little careless, though.”

: “…That’s true. He’s actually helped me out a lot. Running into Shibusawa was quite a coincidence, but a very lucky one. He was the best in the department when it came to peer reviews.”

: “Maybe you’re bringing me good luck with him, too…? Or maybe I’m doing too much magical thinking. Well, see you later.”

: Tonight’s the night we do Tae’s Rank 10 romance scene. That will be with the rest of the romance scenes.

: There’s a reading segment here I’m going to skip.

: “Sine, cosine, and tangent. This is where a lot of people aren’t able to keep up. Why would you panic just from seeing a graph? I don’t get it.”

: “A complicated formula gets condensed down to a single line… isn’t it simple and elegant? All of them have distinctive shapes that stimulate the imagination.”

: “Now then, Kurusu-san. Take a look at these graphs.”

: “That’s correct.”

: “There are many other graphs with amusing names. For example, a devil’s curve is called that because it looks like a Chinese yo-yo called a diabolo. There’s nothing particularly diabolical about it otherwise.”

: “Some people may thnk of math as an enemy like a devil… but there’s research that suggests that people who excel at math have higher incomes. If you’re shooting for a high salary, sometimes you need to be willing to fight demons.”

: “Honestly, I feel like fighting demons would be easier than trying to understand graphs like that…”

: “There’s something I’d like to discuss with you. Would you mind if I joined you for lunch?”

: It’s probably obvious why this scene is here, but let me tell you, it makes the entire scene from the intro seem even dumber when we see it the second time around.

: “Thank you. All right, let’s head to the roof.”

: “Sorry to bring you here. This is something I oughtn’t really bring up around other people. Kurusu-senpai, are you still planning to continue on as the Phantom Thieves?”

: “…Lately, I haven’t been hearing any positive gossip about the Phantom Thieves. Despite how much people cheered on your cause - even though they knew nothing about you or your friends…”

: “All they do now is speak ill of the Phantom Thieves!”

: “I know it’s not my place to say this, considering I turned down your offer to join and all… but this change in attitude is simply awful. They’re doing the exact same thing to you all that they did to me…”

: “Yet you’re still going to keep at it? Why, Senpai?”

: “Take care of something… mm. I see.”

: “Yeah… but don’t worry about us! There isn’t even a one in a million chance that my Phantom Thieves could ever lose!”

: Yeah, so about that… I actually tried doing Sae’s shadow with Joker alone. I got her down to one hit left, and then died instantly to two hits for more than Joker’s max HP.

: “I see… well, I won’t stop you. However… could I ask a favor? Or rather, could you promise me something?”

: Remember when she shows up at the start and is like “Joker, you have to remember our promise!” like it’s something dramatic? No, this is all it is.

: “I’m already beginning to look forward to it. So… please be careful out there. Oh, but I plan to keep my other promise I made with you, about the physical training.”

: “Tomorrow - is that too sudden? Maybe we should train the day after tomorrow, then?”

: “Uh, but that day’s when…”

: “Mm. I see. Ah! I haven’t eaten yet! Come on, Kurusu-senpai! You need to eat too!”

: I like how Kasumi has the same ridiculously large bento from when they ate with Maruki that one time, and Joker just has uh… an unidentifiable loaf in a plastic bag.

: Now that we’re done with that, it’s time for the last action of this update. Next time, we’ll finally see how we got here.

: “…There’s actually something I wanted to talk to you about. I know this is a little personal, but… you remember how my former girlfriend came up the other day? Rumi?”

: Maruki, that was yesterday.

: “We were even engaged, if you can believe that. She was so cheerful. I mean, she could get pretty aggressive - she was always kind of hot-headed - but always so kind, too.”

: “…She was the best thing that ever happened to me. I didn’t deserve her, but… if we’d had our shot, my life would have been so much happier than it had ever been. But reality’s never that simple.”

: Why does this sound like a monologue at the start of a generic action movie?

: Wait, isn’t that just the plot of the 2009 film Law Abiding Citizen, only with his girlfriend’s family instead of his own being killed in a home invasion?

: “We were lucky Rumi’s injuries weren’t more severe. Her physical ones, at least. But the shock of the incident was too much. She had a mental breakdown.”

: “…We talked about that, didn’t we? How wounds of the heart aren’t as straightforward as physical ones? She never really recovered from what happened. Even after all this time.”

: “I…kind of lost myself in that pain for a while, too.”

: “…Sorry. When I saw her in that hospital bed, I made a vow. I swore that I’d do all I could to fight back against the unfairness of reality. If someone suffered like that, I’d help.”

: “…Like I said before, Rumi’s in a better mental place now. She’s happy. But that pain I felt back then - that’s how this project was born. And thanks to you, I’ve finally found the true goal of that research, too.”

: That doesn’t sound at all creepy.

: “I don’t care how long it takes me. I will make my dream come true. For Rumi’s sake, of course… but for you too, Kurusu-kun. I… honestly don’t have the words to say what all this means to me. But I can at least say this.”

: “Thank you… so much. For everything. Thanks to you, I found my answer. And once it’s ready… I hope you’ll let me use it to help you find the happiness you deserve.”

: Nope, no weird JRPG final boss shit going on here.

: “My path is clear now. I think this’ll probably be the last time I come to you about the paper.”

: “I know how you feel. It meant a lot to me, too. I’ll let you know when I finally finish that paper. When I do, I’ll have to thank you one last time. You helped me see my dream through - I owe you so much.”

: “But for now, I should uphold my end of the deal. I’ve got a really special one for you today. I think you’re ready for something on another level now!”

: “Also… there’s one more thing I want to tell you, but I’ll save it until I finish my paper. I just hope you can forgive me for it…”

: We also get 5 max SP for Joker and a healing item.

: Before you finish the night, you’re going to want to have a Persona that matches the element of each of your party members. If you have Ann, you want a fire-based Persona. If you have Haru, a psychic-based one.

: We have nothing better to do, since most of our night confidants are finished and the one that isn’t (that being Iwai) isn’t available tonight.

: “So, your first opponent is a kung fu master… his attacks are apparently pretty ruthless. You’re both running low on health… you could probably win if you land a special move!”

: I’m pretty sure they made this easier in Royal, because I distinctly remember having a very hard time with one of these on my base game run.

: By the way, there’s a book that makes the games easier in Shinjuku. We’ll get to it. Maybe.

: Next time, we finally get past the tutorial.

[SpammyV]

Ah yes, finally, we understand how Joker’s endured all the interrogating and leading questions, his promise to go on a date with Kasumi except we’re not using the date word and Joker’s got a boyfriend. Everything’s falling into place now.

[drcakey]

@Timrod

: “I started mixing my own fertilizer, adjusting soil ratios… now I raise these plants in complete secret. But um, Akira-kun… I’m worried about what the school might do if they found out about this.”

That sounds like a Cheat Commandos bit: “These ‘students’ are clearly both diligent and concerned with good nutrition!”

@Timrod

: “I wonder what will happen if those Phantom Thieves get arrested. These days, it won’t just be their heads that will be put on display.”

: “Mugshots include the shoulders. So it’ll be their heads and shoulders put on display. That’s what I meant, I guess. I’m not really sure what else I could have meant. Am I talking about how their pictures will be in the news? This game confuses me.”

@Timrod

: “…Like I said before, Rumi’s in a better mental place now. She’s happy. But that pain I felt back then - that’s how this project was born. And thanks to you, I’ve finally found the true goal of that research, too.”

: That doesn’t sound at all creepy.

Joker pulls out a giant stack of papers. "If you want my continued asssistance, you’re going to have to answer the following questions on this AIAAV (Am I Actually a Villain?) diagnostic instrument. Please fill in A for ‘yes’ and B for ‘no’ on the provided scantron sheet. 1) Is your girlfriend actually dead, and have you just repressed the memory? 2) Are you actually dead, and are merely enduring a cursed half-existence due to demonic influence or via the fruits of your own forbidden research? 3) Does your plan involve either: sacrificing your girlfriend or someone who resembles her to a dark god, or making her the power core of a titanic machine? 4) Does your plan involve a giant supercomputer that is either named after a mythological figure, or is named the ‘____ System’? 5) Does your plan to bring happiness to humanity involve triggering a phenomenon called the ‘Song of ____’? 6) If you are killed, will you slowly crumble into black particles? Please turn to the next page for questions 7-299.

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 86

: Here we are. Finally, we’re about to catch up with where we were in the very introduction of the game… almost 95 hours later.

: "Good morning. I know this is last-minute, but if it’s possible, could you come and see me during lunch today?

: “Glad to hear it! I wanted to discuss something with you, since it’ll be our last chance to do so here.”

: I’ve mentioned this before, but you may have noticed coming from the last update that we only reached Rank 9 with Maruki. That’s because if you are Rank 9 on 11/18, you automatically rank up to 10.

: Failure to reach Rank 10 locks you out of the expansion content and sets you on the path to the base game’s ending.

: Fortunately, I have checked, and I do have a save file from the end of the base game… where I was 75 hours in. Have I mentioned we’re closing in on 96 hours at this point?

: “It’s quite the sad affair. I do have a farewell speech to give the school at morning assembly, but I’d also like to speak with you individually.”

: “Considering the occasion, lunch is on me. I’ll have something special waiting for you, so you look forward to that. Well, I’ll see you later!”

: “As the Vice Principal has mentioned, today marks the end of my tenure at Shujin Academy. Over the past several months, I’ve come to learn about all sorts of conflicts that you students have faced this year.”

: “Troubles with romance, with studies- in fact, some of you have financial issues that are awfully similar to my own… but before I leave here, I want to offer you a final piece of counseling.”

: Never do bossfights on extreme. Except Okumura, that one’s okay. But the rest? Never.

: You know, just escape to the one place that has not been corrupted by capitalism… space!!

: “Um, what I’m trying to say is, even if your life is full of worries, it’s best for you not to obsess over them. Your existence in this world is an amazing miracle. You deserve to spend your days in happiness.”

: Fuckin’ magnets.

: “I’ll keep on rooting for all of you to have the best lives possible, even after I’m long gone.”

: “Ow!”

: “Heheh… I guess things don’t always pan out like you expect. Well, that’s it… thank you for having me here this year. Good luck to you all!”

: “I wanted to thank him personally… but it may be best to hold off on that for a bit.”

: “Mmhm. I doubt we could get a word in edgewise, anyhow.”

: “Since this is about to be my last meal at Shujin, I’ve brought the best lunch ever. These tempura bowls are from a restaurant I’ve been curious about since I first came to the school.”

: “I’ve always passed on it due to the price - but today is special! Not only that - I ordered the deluxe bowls for us!”

: “I should be the one thanking you. All right, let’s eat!”

: And this is why you take your glasses off to eat.

: “I’m so glad I splurged on that. Upscale dishes like that really do taste incredible. I wish I could just get lost in this bliss forever. …Well, now that we’ve finished our food, let’s get down to business.”

: “First off, I have quite big news. My paper’s done.”

: “I’ve mentioned this before, but still, this is truly thanks to you, Kurusu-kun. Had you not shared your experience and insights with me, this paper never would have been completed.”

: “Please, allow me to express my gratitude to you once more as a most helpful student of Shujin…”

: “There’s no need to be obtuse. Why don’t you take a look at the title of my paper over there?”

: “You know, the Phantom Thieves’ act of changing hearts is rather reminiscent of cognitive psience in practice. They infiltrate a ‘reality’ that exists solely for their target - a reality wholly separated from the one that the public recognizes.”

: “By accessing that world, they gain the means of permanently altering their target’s condition. That is what I hypothesize as being the ‘change of heart’ you induce in your targets.”

: “Well, I did pour my heart and soul into this research for a number of years. To be entirely honest, it was all the way back in April… when I first came to speak with the principal here about providing counseling to you students…”

: April 15th, to be precise. Though… doesn’t it seem a little strange that he’d be coming to offer counseling on that day? The news about Kamoshida wasn’t public yet.

: I had to dig to find it, but you can in fact see him on 04/15 - this is the day that Ann follows Joker and Ryuji into Kamoshida’s palace and gets her Persona.

: Maruki is on screen for less than a second, and since I didn’t know about the changes to this scene at the time I recorded it, I didn’t think to get a shot of it.

: “I actually witnessed the moment when you came out of an ‘individual’s reality’ like I’d mentioned. You suddenly appeared in the back alley near the school - I believe Sakamoto-kun and Takamaki-san were with you?”

: “Takamaki-san appeared to be extremely exhausted.”

: “Beyond what I witnessed, I had also been told that you three were closely associated with Mr. Kamoshida in some way. At that point, I was already half-convinced that you were involved.”

: “I was almost certain Mr. Kamoshida’s change of heart was provoked by the three of you.”

: “Hmm, well… I’ve been researching cognitive psience ever since I was a grad student. For years I’ve been attempting to directly interact with an individual’s cognition so I can help address their pain and despair.”

: “…But, for certain reasons, this research has never been acknowledged in academia. Despite that, I continually pursued evidence that my hypothesis is correct.”

: “It was during that time I happened to come across the ‘Phantom Thieves of Hearts,’ fresh from a mission. My heart began to dance… I thought to myself, maybe I could complete my research if I were to have your assistance.”

: “That’s why I approached you and your group of friends in the first place, Kurusu-kun. I hadn’t mentioned any of this until now because, well… I didn’t want you to take it the wrong way and suspect my motives.”

: It’s kind of hard to understand why this would need to be a pre-requisite for the expansion content - or rather, why the writers couldn’t have written an alternate route to it.

: It’s not like Maruki wouldn’t know who the Phantom Thieves are without Joker visiting him, and really there aren’t a whole lot of conclusions he couldn’t have reached without Joker.

: “But I think that’s everything I’d kept from you… does that change your opinion of me?”

: No.

: “A deal, eh? Well, I’m awfully grateful you see it that way. And just so you know, I have no intention of telling anyone about this. If you don’t believe what I’m saying, you’re free to change my heart as you like.”

: “Thanks to you, I finally know what I need to do… I’m going to stand up to our current reality. I swear I’ll use my research to make our world a better place. Though, it’ll likely be through different means than how the Phantom Thieves reform members of society.”

: “…Indeed. You have a strong moral compass, never losing sight of your own definition of justice. I’m more grateful than ever to have met a young man like yourself.”

: “Although it’s not like this is the last time we’ll see one another…”

: Vohu Manah is one of the few Personas that originated in Persona 1 to make a return in any other Persona game. I am going to want to fuse him for itemization purposes - but not now.

: “I’m going to follow the path that I believe in. I sincerely hope that, one day, at the end of that path, I’ll be able to aid you as well… even if you just considered it to be meddling in your affairs.”

: The school bell rings.

: “Whoops! Looks like we’re out of time. We’ll meet again though, right?”

: “That’s right.”

: “…Kurusu-kun! …No, it’s nothing. Best of luck to the both of us! See you around!”

: “Ain’t this place always empty though?”

: “You’re right.”

: “Let’s just call it a hidden gem.”

: “Um, we’re supposed to be discussing where we should send the calling card…”

: “Considering how big the hype’s gotten, she’ll probably just think it’s a prank, won’t she?”

: I corrected the above line, because in the game, Ann says “prolly” which makes me think it was originally intended to be Ryuji talking and the developers just kinda forgot when doing the portraits.

: “I could always put it on Sae-san’s desk. People know me there, so I could gain access easily.”

: “That’s not a good idea. If you’re the only one who can get in there, it’ll be easily traced back to you.”

: “I’ll do it. I can just tell her it came for her in the mail. That would be the least risky method. No matter what she asks, I’ll tell her I don’t know anything.”

: “But Makoto, that’s…”

: “You’re our leader, so this will be up to you. Should we leave the calling card to Makoto?”

: “We’re asking too much from Makoto, though…”

: I love that Yusuke is low-key throwing shade at Makoto. That’s definitely not the writer’s intention, but it just works so well. “Yeah, I don’t know if we can trust Makoto with a simple lie. She’ll probably fuck it up like she does everything else.”

: “I’ll be okay. I’ve already traversed far more dangerous ground than this.”

: “We will leave it to you then. Thank you for agreeing to this. I will need to step up my game as well to make up for it…”

: “Very well then. We’ll enter from in front of the courthouse. Does six o’clock in the evening work for everyone?”

: “Yup, got it.”

: “Same as always.”

: “Well then, let’s get ready for tomorrow! Dismissed!”

: There’s another blurred cutscene here. This one I won’t show in a separate thing, if only because we’re not far from the point where they all get revealed.

: “All that’s left is to carry out the operation that Makoto outlined earlier. Now we just need to hand it over. As long as we can get it to Niijima…”

: They had to repeat a sin because there’s eight dungeons (counting Mementos, which represents Sloth).

: “I found it in our mailbox…”

: “To think they would send me one… they brand me a criminal and plan to change my heart? What nonsense! They only care about disposing of those who are an inconvenience for them!”

: “Fine… I’ll just have to catch them first!”

: “And when you do… you’re going to interrogate them, right? In some kind of underground room, was it?”

: The only way this scene works is if you view it from the point of view that Sae knows Makoto is a Phantom Thief and just doesn’t give a shit.

: “Why do you ask?”

: “Oh, I just remembered you mentioning something like that before…”

: “That’s right. It will be in a special interrogation room underground. My time will be limited, but I will do whatever it takes to make them divulge their secrets!”

: 200.00% HORNY

: “I should probably be getting back. It’s late, but I should contact the director and let him know about this calling card… I expect things will calm down a little once this case is over.”

: Makoto’s thinking “Oh god what if she has that tramp stamp in real life I don’t think I can ever un-see it.”

: “Sis… Um, I-I’m on your side! I won’t let anyone do anything to you!”

: chuckle “What an odd girl…”

: “Do you need to make a call? I’ll head up to my room then.”

: “There’s something I need to inform you of… I received a calling card from the Phantom Thieves. It was addressed to me directly and -”

: “Stand by!? And you’ve transferred command of the investigation to someone else…!?”

: Keep that last line in mind for right after we re-do the tutorial.

: “No, of course not… yes… I understand. I’ll remain on standby until further instructions. Please excuse me.”

: “Tomorrow’s our only chance at the Treasure, so it’s do or die. Let’s knock this out of the park!”

: We can’t leave Leblanc, so I do a second thing of Power Instinct. This time the input is a QCF into a QCB. Unlike Featherman Seeker, none of the dialog in the retro games is really interesting.

: “What of the calling card, Makoto?”

: “I showed it to Sis… she took it from my very own hands…”

: “Makoto…”

: “I understand how you feel, but you mustn’t be so downtrodden.”

: “Yeah… if we screw this up, we’re done for. It’s way more than losin’ the place we belong… we could even lose our lives here, y’know.”

: “It will be all right. I want to save my sister, no matter what.”

: Makoto’s dialog here is practically every line from the Oneechanbara games.

: “Is everyone decided?”

: “Mm-hm! All’s well that ends well!”

: “So much has happened since we first started… you guys have become quite the reliable team. All right, Joker! This is the Phantom Thieves’ final heist! Give us the signal!”

: “As she planned…!?”

: “No… was the Treasure put on display to lure us here!?”

: Yusuke’s acting like that hasn’t been the case in all of the other dungeons they’ve done.

: “So that’s why we could faintly see its shape…”

: “First off, allow me to compliment you. I never expected you would be able to make it this far…”

: “We would much rather have the Treasure than your words of praise. Where did you hide it?”

: “It seems as though she wants us to pursue her…”

: “Dammit, she’s mockin’ us…! Let’s go after her!”

: We’re going in with Joker alone for this first run, because there’s special dialogue if you do. I didn’t manage to get the kill because it was like 12:30 in the morning when I recorded this and I forgot Arahabaki exists.

: “Is everyone ready to go?”

: “All right then, let’s go!”

: “Sis… I’ll protect you, no matter what it takes.”

: “What kind of game will it be this time? No matter what you bring out, we will emerge victorious.”

: “I only guided you here because this place allows me to fight to my heart’s content.”

: “Sis…”

: Why did they do this close-up on the model if they weren’t going to make the model’s expression match the portrait’s? It is a mystery. Oh wait no it isn’t, it’s Atlus being lazy again.

: “Dying to uphold justice sounds virtuous, but the ones left behind have to clean up the mess! Can you imagine the hardships I had to endure!?”

: “She’s lost control…”

: “This is wrong…”

: “Justice cannot yield to evil! I must win, no matter what!”

: “This is nothing more than self-righteousness…”

: “All we need to do now is determine who is right… in battle.”

: And you thought all those lyrics in the dungeon’s theme about roulette wheels wouldn’t come into play.

: Shadow Sae: “Instead, let’s have a competition to see who is truly the horniest!” and then Morgana takes off his scarf and goes super saiyan.

: Sae’s bossfight is a gimmick, just like Futaba’s was.

: She opens up with Roulette Time, which causes one of three things to happen.

: The bet can be HP, SP, or Money.

: Let me show off what happens if you attack her, because when I had a full party, Sae got rolled so hard that she never went into her final phase.

: Sae only has around 8,000 HP… but as you can see, even doing over a quarter of that in one hit doesn’t make a dent in her HP bar.

: Attacking her causes her to counter with a move that reduces the attacker’s HP to 1. I don’t believe this can be dodged - not that it would help much, because we can’t even damage her.

: While we do get a turn between her using Roulette Time and the attack actually going off, we can’t do much with it. The only things you can do without her penalizing you are use items, use buffs (including Charge and Concentrate), and use healing or support spells. Debuffing her will cause her to counter, even though it doesn’t do damage.

: “I’m almost positive she’s going to try and cheat, but even if we bring that up, she’d just ignore us. We should go along with the game for now and try to gain evidence on her methods of cheating.”

: “…I agree.”

: You’re given two options to bet with. The safe bet is a choice between red and black, while the risky bet is picking between sets of numbers.

: I’d like to remind you that on a standard roulette wheel, the chance of a single color coming up ten times in a row is approximately 1 in 1,376. I bet on black every single time.

: It’s hard to get a shot of, but the ball lands on 22 black - except then it hits a transparent cover and rolls into the 5 red slot.

: This one’s from an earlier take, which is why the ball is in 6 black instead of on 5 red.

: Sae’s shadow then drains about 150 HP from Joker and uses it to heal herself.

: “How humiliating…”

: This is where the special dialogue kicks in. With all of the other bosses, you don’t ever have to do any of the “send someone to do something” mechanics - but here, you need to.

: However, the developers foresaw someone doing this, so they built in a failsafe. If you do not have anyone with you, you have to survive ten rounds of Roulette Time.

: The money bet is 6,000 yen every time you lose, and she used this a lot. The SP bet, which she used once, is 150 SP.

: I keep betting on black, and keep losing. Now for the special dialogue.

: “Sh-Shut up! You’re probably cheating! How else would we keep losing like this!?”

: “Hmph! Why would I cheat…?”

: “There’s no way you’re not, you liar! It’s totally obvious!”

: The thing with the glass lids only matters if you have someone to snipe them - I don’t know why they even included it if you don’t have someone to do that.

: I like this route a lot more than the one where you go in with an actual party.

: “More importantly, are you so weak that you have to cheat to win? And you call yourself a Palace ruler? You’re just a wimp! You should totally be ashamed!”

: “You only dare talk like that because you can’t beat me…”

: “Shut it! To begin with-”

: Meet Leviathan, Sae’s demon form. It’s basically the Statue of Liberty combined with the Patriarch from Killing Floor. Seriously though, were the armored breasts really necessary?

: In her second phase, Sae turns the roulette wheel into this. Notice that 0 and 00 have been replaced with the Almighty symbol. That’s for phase three, which I skipped entirely on the full party run.

: This is the major departure from the base game’s version of this fight. In the base game, she keeps using the standard Roulette Time that bets HP, SP, or money - only it’s no longer rigged.

: She still uses Roulette Time, but despite the name, it’s not random. In this form, Roulette Time changes Sae’s element. It will always pick an element that someone is weak to: you can actually manipulate this if you’re only using Joker.

: When she picks an element, her resistances change as follows: she repels whatever element she picked, becomes neutral to the opposing element, and resists everything else.

: In this case, because I had Beelzebub out, she picks Bless. I’m not sure what her rules for edge cases like if you have Lucifer (who resists, nulls, or repels almost everything) but I never got the chance to find out.

: With Bless activated, Sae becomes neutral to Curse, repels Bless, and resists everything else. She also starts using an element-based attack, which is just called (Element) Strike.

: Beelzebub gives no fucks.

: I try a Blazing Hell on her, forgetting that Beelzebub is weak to Bless and does not have Ali Dance. Again, I was recording this at like 12:30 in the morning.

: If she hits a weakness with her elemental attack, Sae follows up with Severing Slash, which does a shitload of physical damage.

: Because her elemental attack isn’t actually that strong, you could take a Persona that has a weakness but repels Phys and Gun (see: Arahabaki) and abuse the shit out of this.

: I then switch to Gabriel, because Gabriel absorbs Bless. While we’re still hitting surprisingly hard, I can’t pull off four digits like this.

: After I absorb a couple of hits, she switches to Curse to hit Gabriel’s weakness. Unfortunately, I don’t have anything that nulls or repels Curse but that can also use Bless attacks.

: I bring out Uriel, who can hit her for four digits without even using Concentrate.

: Then I accidentally trigger her third phase, which she starts at 50% HP.

: At this point, she does one more regular Roulette Time before…

: She lands on Almighty. This gives her an attack that is basically Megidolaon, as well as a couple of very strong physical and gun attacks. I could have won this if I switched to Arahabaki, but again, I forgot I had him.

: The good news is that in Almighty mode, she has no resistances… except physical and gun.

: She also starts attacking twice per turn. If I had two more turns, I could easily have killed her. Unfortunately, I can’t keep up with healing while also doing damage, so I die. Let’s go to my other take.

: The other LP thought it was ridiculous to have Haru snipe it, but to me, it kind of makes the most sense. It doesn’t actually matter who you send, but what if the glass is bulletproof?

: At the next Roulette Time, you want to choose the risky bet. In the base game, this actually mattered - not so much here. You’ll always win the first spin after you send the sniper, and then it goes into the next phase.

: We have her in an All-Out, but it doesn’t matter.

: Sae’s shadow repeats the same dialog we saw when we did this in the first take, but this time, Makoto has something to say.

: “This… is my sister’s true nature!? No…”

: This time around, she goes Ice. This is exactly what we want her to do, and she will not get to go into her third phase as a result.

: Oh no, 49 whole damage. Whatever will I do?

: Just over a quarter of her HP in a single hit, that’s what. Just imagine if I’d gotten Fire Boost on Beelzebub somehow.

: I can’t prove it, but I’m pretty sure that if she can’t hit a weakness with her attacks, Sae’s shadow is less likely to switch elements. She never did in this fight, but she had the time to.

: And with that, Sae’s shadow is down before she even gets into her third phase. I’m pretty sure I killed her on the last turn before she would have gone into it, but without the attacks in her third phase, Sae isn’t even really a threat.

: “That’s only a Shadow. Why are you so…”

: “Quiet!”

: “…Sorry.”

: “We’ll go grab the Treasure.”

: “I don’t think it’s wrong to bring light to evils which can’t be judged by law. That’s all the Phantom Thieves have been trying to do too. But these aggressive investigations? Twisting the truth for your own personal gain?”

: “Please… you have to think back to the feelings you had when you first wanted to be a prosecutor. Think about your justice, Sis.”

: “My justice…”

: “Try to remember how you used to be…”

: So what you’re saying is that she’s not crazy, she’s just a little impaired? That you feel like she’s headed for a breakdown, and you don’t know why - but stay a while and she’ll think of you and how she used to be?

: “How I…”

: “Niijima-san… she’s just like my father. What caused them to change like this?”

: “Hm… even though their own desires were the cause, succumbing to such distorted thoughts is strange… is there another reason they don’t know of?”

: “This deal we made… was a great experience for me. To think that I, a detective, would act alongside the Phantom Thieves…”

: “Yes. And you all shall end this Phantom Thieves business… that was part of the promise, after all. Don’t forget.”

: “All right, we don’t need to stay here any longer!”

: Say, shouldn’t the casino be collapsing right about now?

: “Huh!? Enemy readings! When did they…!? They’re gathering outside!”

: “For real!? The hell’s goin’ on!?”

: “Look at those numbers!”

: “This doesn’t look good…”

: “We defeated the Palace ruler and even stole the Treasure, yet the Shadows are still restless… it doesn’t make any sense… what’s going on here?”

: “We need to go now! Those guys in black suits are almost here. We’ll be done for if we get surrounded!”

: “A team this large would be discovered immediately. We had best split up for our escape… although, we’ll need someone to act as a decoy… no, that’s too dangerous.”

: I mean, it’s not like we don’t already know what happens next.

: “Joker!? Are you planning on distracting them by yourself!?”

: “Let him do it, Queen. He’s quiet, but once he’s mind’s made up, he’s not gonna take no for an answer. …I’m sure you ain’t gonna die. It’s you we’re talkin’ about here.”

: “Please don’t do anything reckless, okay?”

: “I’ll never forgive you if you don’t make it back.”

: “We still haven’t fulfilled our deal, remember?”

: “Even more are coming!”

: “This truly is a painfully reluctant parting!”

: “It seems we had best hurry.”

: “…We’ll see you later.”

: Right after the scene ends, the game plays the opening anime cutscene again. You can see it in the first update.

: The dialog is exactly the same as the first update, except the shadow effect on the portraits is gone.

: Just like before, we jump across some stuff and get into a fight.

: There’s exactly one change here, which… honestly, I’m not sure why they put it in.

: Last time we fought Moloch, we didn’t know that he’s weak to ice. We didn’t even have an ice Persona.

: Hm. It sure seems like those bonds we have with our friends are important…

: The game even makes us go through the sneaking tutorial again. You know, game, you can do this thing where you just hand-wave it and say “Oh, the first time was the drugs.”

: We have the scene where Kasumi comes in and is Cutscene Dante, and it’s funny because none of the dialog in this part makes any fucking sense when you know what’s going on.

: You fought one battle! One! One battle where Joker did basically everything!

: We can break this scene hard enough for the seams to show.

: Yes, I’m sure Megidolaon only did 116 damage on these enemies that are 20 levels lower than Joker is.

: What? You mean this, or the giant plot-ruining asspull that’s about to happen in the next update?

: The promise to date that Joker doesn’t give a fuck about?

: The rest of this is shot-for-shot identical to the first update.

: Here’s a question you’re probably asking: are these cops shadows? No, they’re not… and that’s kind of a plot hole. The interrogation room Joker gets taken to? That’s the real world.

: I believe the canon explanation for how the cops got here is that Akechi left his phone with them, and they used it to warp in… actually wait, how did they warp all this shit in?

: Seriously, that’s several hundred guys. Even if they packed in real close, they probably would’ve needed at least a few trips to get all that (plus the cars and other equipment) through. It’s a goddamn logistical nightmare.

: So anyway, the cops enter the Metaverse with Akechi’s phone… and then none of them question why there’s a casino where the courthouse normally is. They then set up a perimeter on this magic casino because Akechi told them that John Persona was inside.

: Now what you have to remember is that at this point, the police know about the Metaverse. They know more or less how it works (because otherwise, how could they have gotten in and out?) and that weird shit like the courthouse becoming a casino happens there.

: I’d also like to remind you that canonically, I’m pretty sure the interrogation room is right next door at the police headquarters. Please remember this for next update.

: At this part, we can choose a different option than we did the first time. I just… didn’t.

: The only difference here is that we don’t get to pick our name again, which is kind of a drag. Joker just automatically signs it.

: And that’s how we got here. Next time, we’ll move beyond the intro cutscene, finally find out what was in all those blurred scenes (provided you didn’t read them already) and get introduced to the plot-ruining asspull.

[SpammyV]

Joker you don’t have to tell everyone that you’re a Phantom Thief the second they ask.

And now Joker looks up at Sae and goes “Please tell me you don’t have that tattoo.”

[drcakey]

@Timrod

: Makoto’s dialog here is practically every line from the Oneechanbara games.

Ah, a cleverly disguised hint at your next LP.

By the way, a couple of updates ago when the Phantom Thieves visited the courthouse, you said “Wait I’ve played Ace Attorney, doesn’t the prosecution sit on the right?”

Well I was watching an Ace Attorney LP recently, and I discovered two things. First, every remake of those GBA graphics looks even worse than the last. And second…

Phoenix is actually on the right side, and the prosecution is on the left. Their portraits are just mirrored for…some reason. I’ve played Ace Attorney but I forgot all about this.

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 87

: We’re still not done with repeat cutscenes. There’s a lot of filler in this part - if you need a refresher, you can read Update 2. The only difference here…

: Is that the SIU Director has his portrait for his lines. That’s it.

: “Now that you have traversed your long, perilous recollection, you truly have entered the present.”

: “The effects of that drug are gonna wear off soon. This is your golden opportunity. You must grasp the truth that will save you from the brink of ruin.”

: “The evil influence who wishes you dead is fast approaching.”

: “If you want to win this unreasonable game…”

: I don’t know that I’d call it unreasonable. Except for the plot, the filler, and Okumura’s bossfight.

: “If you wish to take back your stolen future…”

: The game is repeating this VERY OBVIOUS HINT as to how to avoid the bad ending.

: I also forgot to post this in the last update. You get this in the middle of the repeat cutscenes, after Joker signs his name.

: “So that’s what led to your ending up here. What a disappointing end to the hero of justice. I still can’t believe it… but I now have a general idea of the methods you used for your crimes.”

: Didn’t he explicitly tell you how everything worked? I think you’ve got more than a general idea of - oh right, this is Sae we’re talking about.

: “There’s much more I’d like to ask, but my allotted time is nearly up… I do have a suggestion though.”

: “I have a responsibility to solve this case. I will win, even if it means brokering a deal with you. Your operation was leaked, and you failed to change my heart. There’s no point in being obstinate now.”

: “You’ve corrupted the order of this country and caused an uprising against its very existence. You’ll most likely be given life imprisonment or the death penalty… unless you accept my proposal.”

: Wait, when did we cause an uprising?

: “Going forward, I will read a list of people who are closest to you and this case. Tell me honestly whether or not the following are involved with the Phantom Thieves.”

: I’m going to break my rule here about not using character portraits with dialog that I’ve written, because I think this just flows better.

: “First, the friend who you’ve been with since the day you transferred to Shujin - Ryuji Sakamoto.”

: “Never heard of him.”

: “One of the victims of the Kamoshida case - Ann Takamaki.”

: “I don’t know who that is.”

: “Ichiryusai Madarame’s pupil - Yusuke Kitagawa.”

: " …"

: “The daughter of Wakaba Isshiki - Futaba Sakura.”

: “Shouldn’t you know the answer to that by now?”

: “The heiress to the Okumura foods legacy and daughter of its CEO - Haru Okumura.”

: “You really haven’t been paying attention, have you?”

: Remember, she knows that Futaba did the hack against Medjed, and unless Joker held back a lot knows that Haru was in Okumura’s palace. She also knows about Makoto.

: Obviously, the third answer is the bad ending.

: “So you won’t sell out your friends… then let me change the question. …I find it hard to believe that high schoolers could have pulled off these crimes by themselves.”

: “Were there not others outside of your direct group who encouraged your crimes or lent their aid?”

: This is where all the dumbass cutscenes at the start of each confidant go.

: “Not to repeat myself, but remember that your life will be forfeit if your sentence is not lightened. …You had the cooperation of people outside your group, did you not? Can you tell me about them?”

: Again, second option is the bad ending.

: “…I see. So you won’t speak a word about either your teammates or your collaborators? Do you even understand the position that you’re in?”

: “…Let’s discuss one other person - Goro Akechi. There are reports that he was acting alongside the Phantom Thieves as well. Might he be a part of your team too?”

: There’s a reason we can’t let her know about Akechi. It’s not a good one.

: “So Goro Akechi wasn’t one of you. Very well… so be it… you clearly have no intention of bargaining with me.”

: “Even now, you’re still acting as though you’re a hero of justice? Your teammates have sacrificed you in order to escape, yet you wish to defend their honor? Why won’t you talk about them?”

: This game is turning into Ace Attorney.

: “…Justice? …Then tell me! What is this ‘justice’ you speak of?”

: “Sticking to the right path? That’s no different from us! sigh You continue to stand firm… are you implying that we have no evidence on you?”

: I think you just said the quiet part out loud there.

: “But many people have fallen victim to this! We need to learn the truth.”

: “After all this, you’re still-”

: “Are you listening? The side effects of the truth serum should be wearing off. I won’t be deceived by such a poor act.”

: I mentioned this when I did the full version of this cutscene back in Update 77, but this is the dumbest shit. Also, what connection does the “I won’t be deceived” line have to this scene?

: “Hey. …Can you hear me? It seems your mind is clearing up… but unfortunately… my time has run out. Although I find your story quite interesting, I won’t be able to speak with you any longer.”

: “…Huh? What are you getting at? …That’s right. No matter the results of this case, I won’t be receiving credit. I even had to call in a large favor just to conduct this interrogation…”

: If you’ve read the second blurred cutscene, the one posted in Update 78, you’ll know this isn’t what the actual text of that scene is.

: I’m not sure if they’re implying that Futaba hacked Sae’s phone somehow, or if they got that off Akechi’s… but if they got it off Akechi’s phone, why would Sae be talking to him about that? Wouldn’t he already know?

: “Hey, are you listening? …Our time’s up. We’re done talking here. …Goodbye.”

: “Planned? Why are you saying such odd things? Anyhow… there’s one last thing I want to ask you. There’s something that’s been bothering me for some time now.”

: “Recently I was removed from my post as head of this investigation and was told to remain on standby. A short while later, I received word that you were caught in the act… within some bizarre phenomenon.”

: “…But that was all I was told. You were told someone sold you out, correct? If that’s true, who could it have been? Don’t you have any idea?”

: I like to think this isn’t actually how Joker reacts - it’s one of those Twin Peaks dream realm things where he’s asking Morgana’s astral projection what he’s supposed to do.

: “What’s wrong? Might you have an idea as to who sold you out?”

: “You’re not joking, are you!? If you know something, you must tell me! I won’t allow things to end like this!”

: “I’ve been told the lock on it is quite complicated. But, it’s only a matter of time until it’s cracked. What’s so important about this smartphone? Are you going to unlock it and show me the data?”

: As I was working on this today, I did a timeline of how the blurred cutscenes work - and really, there’s no time for this one to have taken place.

: They kind of try to hand-wave it by not telling you what happens during that last blurred scene… except there’s another blurred scene coming up that more or less has to be right after that one.

: Realistically, there’s at least two nights in here, if not more, that are totally unaccounted for by the plot. This sounds like a nitpick, but I mean, they went so far as to have these stupid blurred scenes to explain why the player isn’t involved and they couldn’t even keep that consistent.

: “Hey… what are you trying to get at here? And what about this smartphone?”

: “The traitor?”

: This entire scene is voiced, and the voice on the recording is clearly Akechi’s.

: “Please! I need you to be clear with me! Who am I supposed to show this to?”

: “What do you…?”

: “…You’re referring to him, aren’t you?”

: sigh “What are you plotting? I can’t even begin to fathom it. …But it appears my time is up. This is as far as our conversation can go. This will be my last involvement with this case…”

: “Heh… very well. I’ve listened to your whole story, so I may as well play along to the end. And that honest look in your eyes… I used to view the world the same way too, once.”

: They changed a lot of lines in this scene (and the upcoming several days of solid cutscene) to be less badly localized, but I see they didn’t quite get all of it.

: “I’ll place my bet on you. I just need to show him the phone, right?”

: In the base game, this ability was just question marks.

: Not only do we get Satan (who is a priority for fusion and who I will be fusing the second we get control again) but we also finally get the EXP bonus when fusing Judgement Personas.

: “…I’ll be going now.”

: “Why do you seem so surprised?”

: “I needed my director to step in to get access and I was directly responsible for this case. How did you get approval?”

: “For the same reason you did. I am heading up the investigation team, after all. It’s only natural I’d have the right to interrogate our culprit as well, don’t you think?”

: “They assigned you command!?”

: “…That was a joke, of course. I’m merely here to assist with the public security interrogation. I am surprised it’s this far underground though… there aren’t any others incarcerated here, yes?”

: “Nobody would ever know if things got a little violent…”

: “If I remember correctly… didn’t you say there was another culprit besides the Phantom Thieves?”

: “That was but a lie I spread to set them up. Oh, I’m sorry! I forgot that I had deceived you too, Sae-san. After all, if you wish to trick your enemies, you must first trick your allies.”

: Game, we just saw this scene. It’s not even one of the ones that I have a problem with. I’ll just cut the rest of it, since that scene is in this very update.

: “Is there a problem?”

: “Hm? Excuse me? …? What is this phone?”

: “It belonged to the leader of the Phantom Thieves. I believe you’ll need it for your investigation.”

: “Not personally. I was acting alongside the Phantom Thieves myself, remember?”

: Did he ever tell her he was? I mean, I guess we can assume he did, but given this game’s insistence on showing every little thing…

: “True. This is undoubtedly a great accomplishment. Good luck in there.”

: Right between when she says this and the next shot, there’s a purple flash on the screen. It’s only there for a fraction of a second, but keep it in mind for later.

: Light Yagami switch… turn on!

: “May I ask that you accompany me? Going in unarmed to interrogate a murderer makes me uncomfortable…”

: This scene is incredibly stupid for a couple of reasons. We’ll get into that later.

: “That’s right. You and your little friends were vital to our plan. And now, it will be completed. Your popularity truly was quite stunning. That just made using you all the more worthwhile…”

: That you’re a dipshit for not just asking the shadowy cabal to give you a gun instead of going through the risk of stealing the cop’s gun? That you’re using a suppressor on a gun that isn’t loaded with subsonic ammo, and so everyone in the building is probably hearing your gunshots?

: Sojiro drops a plate.

: Oh, or the part where this plan wouldn’t hold up to scrutiny because there’d be no gunshot residue on Joker’s hands or shirt?

: GASP. Akechi works for Shido, who is behind the entire shadowy conspiracy and is the final boss of the base game!? Who ever could have guessed!?

: “Regardless, all that’s left is to deal with the remnants.”

: “The continued deaths of these teenagers would be a bit much, don’t you think? I considered making it appear they had a falling out… but that would only amplify public frenzy… it would be best to have each of them meet with an unfortunate accident once the storm blows over.”

: “Is there any possibility they’ll want to avenge their leader?”

: “No chance. They’re nothing but cattle anyway… they have no backbone without his guidance. I will keep my eye on them just in case though.”

: So wait, if Shido doesn’t want Akechi saying his name over the phone, why is he letting Akechi rattle off his entire evil plan? Wouldn’t this have made more sense if they were both in Shido’s office?

: “I’ll be counting on you.”

: “Make sure to kill that strange cat once you find it as well.”

: So… wait. Hold on. Shido knows who the party is, and didn’t just… I dunno, send his goon squad to abduct them all and kill them?

: I feel like someone needs to talk to Hashino about the idea that making your villains sound like incompetent morons isn’t really compatible with the idea of your villains being masterminds behind this whole thing to take over Japan.

: “Understood, though I doubt there is anything to worry about. It’s merely a cat, after all. More importantly, they should be dealing with the suicide right about now.”

: “Things will become quite busy once the word gets out… I’ll need to prepare my comments on the matter.”

: “I must be prepared to deal with it on my end as well. Beyond that… what of the director of the Special Investigations Unit?”

: “Perhaps he’ll be struck by a mysterious illness sometime soon…”

: And here we have Hashino being inconsistent with how the whole mental shutdown thing works. Clearly, this is Death Note now.

: I’m just picturing Joker with Yusuke as his shinigami. Sae finds the Death Note during the interrogation and bargains with Yusuke to use his shinigami powers to remove her tramp stamp.

: Sae: “That’s totally how it works! Tattoo removal counts as a death! The tattoo is dying!”

: “What was all that about, showing him this phone? …The Phantom Thief Alibaba? Who is this?”

: “How do they know I have this?!”

: “Goro Akechi is evil. He didn’t come to interrogate the captured phantom thief… he came to kill him.”

: “Don’t trust the guard either. He’s an accomplice as well. Now then, I’ll tell you detailed steps to take. You must save Akira Kurusu.”

: “You want me to… save him?”

: “What is it?”

: “…Did anyone else stop by? …Nobody?”

: “So it’s all true…”

: “It’s Akechi-kun. He had to take a sudden call, so he won’t be able to make it down today. …I’ve been asked to handle things instead.”

: “You know… if you stay here, they’ll likely get rid of you to eliminate any evidence. I suggest you go into hiding at once if you value your life.”

: This is one major change from the base game. In the base game, if you had Japanese voices on, the newscaster did not have subtitles.

: This cutscene was one that I suspect may have been ordered for an earlier draft of the plot, but which Atlus had spent enough money on that they didn’t want to throw it out.

: This right here is part of why I suspect that. We have no idea where this is, or who this person talking to Ryuji is. If I had to guess, this is probably something that would’ve been brought up in Ryuji’s confidant in an older script draft.

: I’m wondering if this is a case where Yusuke having a bunch of girls interested in him was originally a plot point that got cut, or if the anime studio just wasn’t paying attention.

: Also, that seems like kind of an extreme angle for a cis guy to cross his legs at while sitting. I can’t tell if that was intentional, or the anatomy’s just way off.

: I now have a theory about Yusuke. I’ll share it at the end.

: Oh boy! I can read this! These are all the party members - Futaba has them in her phone under their code names. From the top: Joker, Skull, Queen, Panther, Inari (or Fox), Noir.

: Only part of this chat gets subbed, and none of it was subbed in the base game even if you were playing in English.

: Kanamin is an idol from Rise’s idol group in Persona 4 Dancing, which I refuse to believe is canon.

: Here’s another way you can tell that this scene was made early in production - Joker got rid of those trash bags when he cleaned Futaba’s room up.

: They also probably didn’t know what they were going to do with Sugimura when they made this cutscene.

: This part isn’t subtitled for some reason, but even without knowing what they’re saying, I can tell you exactly what they’re saying: “We’re receiving word now that the suspect has committed suicide in custody.”

: “But why were you killed? Why did you have to die? Do you remember? It seems you forgot an important fact while your consciousness was hazy.”

: “Indeed… your ‘death’ was a necessity for your escape from certain doom. What a tremendous plan. How might you be capable of executing such a feat?”

: “Well then, let us rouse the memories which are missing…”

: And now it’s time for the blurred cutscenes. I’ve already posted these earlier, but on this recording, I picked different options - not that it matters.

: “…You realized it too, then. It was our conversation about pancakes, right? There’s no way he could have reacted like that if he hadn’t heard me.”

: Man, I love it when I can just copy-paste. I’ll also be copy-pasting some of my reactions from the previous updates.

: “Right. It was your social studies trip. We met him in the hallway of that TV station…”

: “There’s no way that this is the first time he’s heard my voice. This whole deal feels sketchy.”

: “Yeah. That was my plan too. Okay… let’s get everyone on the same page right away.”

: And now for the second blurred cutscene, from Update 78.

: "One more person has been on our mind. If it’s possible, I want to eavesdrop on their phone conversation.”

: “Hmm, that’ll be tough…”

: “Right. We really need your help.”

: “Hmmm… I’d have to plant a bug directly on the phone…”

: Wait. Hold on a second. You could wiretap Joker just fine from your bedroom! Moreover, why didn’t you just do this to Akechi instead of inviting him to the school festival?!

: This? This right here? This is something Makoto should’ve suggested! So why the fuck didn’t she?!

: “So it’s impossible even for you…”

: “I didn’t say it was impossible! …Ok, I’ve got a plan!”

: “Don’t worry, I’ll tell you the details later.”

: “This is gonna be fun! I can’t wait!”

: The other LP asks how Joker would know about this scene if he wasn’t there, and I don’t think they understood that if Philemon made an entire world, Igor can probably transplant memories.

: “It seems you finally remember… this ‘game’ is not over yet. There are still things that must be done.”

: This scene also isn’t going to make a lot of sense later. Pretend it’s non-canon.

: Well, that was a short and kind of pointless death scene. Next time: more exposition as the game tries to justify this dumbass plot twist.

[Timrod]

@drcakey

Ah, a cleverly disguised hint at your next LP.

Oh god no. I’m not nearly good enough at those games to LP them. I killed one of the first bosses in Origin completely by accident.

[Timrod]

Summary

: As with all the Rank 9 scenes, Tae’s Rank 9 is identical up until the choice.

: “Really now… why did you want to see me? …Don’t tell me you’re in love with me or something.”

: “Yeah, yeah, sure. Thank you very much. Now, go on home before it gets dark. Or… I can give you a ‘special examination’ if you’d like.”

: Femdom practitioner not so tough after being confessed to, film at 11.

: “Then… I guess I owe you a serious answer too. Um… actually, I changed my mind. I mean, you’re in high school, you know? You’re my little guinea pig from the clinical trials…”

: “And you’re a kid who lied about his entrance exams to get unlicensed medicine… falling in love with someone like that…”

: “A-Anyway… let’s talk about it later… okay?”

: Unfortunately, I kind of hit the fast forward button at this point and missed a couple of shots.

: “Hey, it’s me… can we talk a little? Um… thanks for tagging along today. I got my drug in the hands of someone I trust. Everything’s on track for the cure to go through.”

: “I should be over the moon… but now I’ve got one last problem. Turns out my little guinea pig caught a disease that’s even more annoying and persistent than Crawford-Ende’s.”

: Crawford-Ende’s is the fake disease Miwa has. It was mentioned once forever ago.

: “…Yeah. Guess it really is an epidemic. I should take my own advice. Ah, what a shame. Looks like a chronic case. Might even be incurable… guess I’d better stick around for your treatment.”

: “We’re done with the clinical trials, but I’ll still be expecting you to drop by. I’m your primary physician, after all. And I’m the only one who can treat your condition, so…”

: I think the writers forgot that her Rank 9 takes place during the day. I mentioned it before, but we need two affinity readings for Rank 10 even though we’ve done the romance route.

: “I’ve been here a time or two, but I don’t remember the coffee being this good.”

: The rest of this scene is identical to the other Rank 10 scene, right up until near the end.

: “Hey… this is where you live, right? Where’s your room? Upstairs? …Is your guardian home? Then, it’s just the two of us? Really… then, would you like a ‘thorough examination’?”

: “I guess I’ll start off by examining your eyes. I’ll just have to take my time examining you. …Hm?”

: And there we go. I’m all caught up on confidant scenes.

[SpammyV]

This is why you don’t try to double cross Mentok the Mind-Taker, Akechi.

[drcakey]

@Timrod

: This game is turning into Ace Attorney.

It’d be great if Joker slammed the table, pointed in Sae’s face with exaggerated foreshortening, and shouted “You call this JUSTICE?”

…but sadly Joker, like the Companion Cube, cannot speak.

This sequence neatly showcases one of the limitations of the protagonist being a player avatar. These blurred cutscenes are about Joker knowing and doing things the player knows nothing about, even though he is the player (this some Stanley Parable shit). If they were going to do…whatever it is the Phantom Thieves are doing, I can’t quite tell what’s going on yet…they should have come up with a reason for the rest of the team to come up with the plan by themselves, without input from Joker, and keep it a secret from him.

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 88

: You know that moment in the Ni no Kuni 2 LP where you start realizing that the plot makes no sense whatsoever? We’re about to reach that moment.

: Most of this update is going to be a pointless plot recap that no one has a reason to give a shit about. You can pretty much skim this one until you see the black-and-white diagrams pop up.

: “…Hey, are you all right? Don’t fall asleep until we reach our destination. …Are you listening?”

: I like to think that Joker is sitting there and thinking “My god. This is one of those things where Sae is actually Makoto from the future, sent back in time to ruin everything. I have to warn Yusuke!”

: “Anyway, we need to talk about how to get out of this situation.”

: This cutscene also breaks the timeline. While it seems like this is the second half of the cutscene that happens on 11/18, it’s pretty clearly not.

: “Futaba’s monitoring of Akechi’s phone has confirmed it… he did indeed have an ulterior motive.”

: “It’s on a completely different level than just that.”

: “Not only was he trying to frame us, but he was the true culprit behind the mental shutdowns… his offer to assist us was simply a ploy to frame the Phantom Thieves… and kill Akira.”

: Game… I fucking get it. We just saw that in a lengthy cutscene.

: “If we go into Sis’s Palace as he suggests, we’ll likely be met by a large ambush of police forces.”

: Or a large ambush of canine-themed tattoos.

: “To think he would be this far gone… I know now what it means to feel a chill down my spine. Furthermore, he wishes to bring a police squad from reality into the Palace…”

: “If the eight of us can enter at once, it’s not inconceivable to think a larger group is possible. He may even be able to bring in vehicles or other pieces of special equipment.”

: Okay, but then the range on the app thing is completely inconsistent.

: “So this really was just a setup to shift the blame onto us…”

: “He made us go after Okumura, then once we triggered the change of heart, he killed him…”

: How many times is this that they’ve tried to change the reason why the party went after Okumura? First it was because they were “too obsessed with popularity”, then because they were led into a trap by the shadowy conspiracy.

: The reason they went in originally is because they were looking for Morgana. That’s why. Morgana is the one who made them commit to it.

: “The whole time he was workin’ with Makoto’s sister, he was really just some homicidal maniac! C’mon, we gotta take the bastard down! Isn’t that recording we got enough proof to do it!?”

: “No, Akechi is merely a tool. His orders come from elsewhere… the grand mastermind behind it all. An unimaginable fiend capable of arranging the murder of a suspect inside of a police station…”

: “Unless we find out who that is, we will continue being targeted even if we defeat Akechi…”

: “But… what means do we have of learning his identity?”

: “We’ll have to make Akechi say it… though once we do, that mastermind will likely eliminate us.”

: “I think that will be the case eventually regardless of whether or not we learn his identity. The only reason it hasn’t happened yet is because we’re an easy target to blame for his crimes.”

: “If he realizes that’s no longer possible and abandons that plan, he may opt to kill us immediately.”

: But… that doesn’t make sense. I mentioned this before, but why would the shadowy conspiracy even need you alive in the first place? In fact, isn’t it incredibly inconvenient for them that you’re even alive?

: I mean, they can blame crimes on you if you’re dead just as easily as they can if you’re alive - in fact, it’s more convenient for them if you’re dead because that way you can’t spread the “We don’t kill people” narrative that goes directly against their “The Phantom Thieves are serial killers” narrative.

: “Dammit… so we don’t got a choice but to go with that bastard’s suggestion…”

: “But if we go into the Palace like we’re told, Akira will get arrested and then Akechi will kill him…”

: “Palace… the Palace…”

: Now I remember why I like Futaba. Just shuts Makoto the fuck up.

: “Wh-what’s this all of a sudden!?”

: “There’s a way… a way to get past Akechi AND get the mastermind to lay off of us, all while learning his identity.”

: “Really!?”

: “You gotta be kidding me!”

: Well, now that whole cutscene where they’re reacting to Joker’s ‘suicide’ doesn’t make any goddamn sense. They do try to explain it, which we’ll see in the next cutscene. The explanation is “We did it because we thought someone might be watching us.”

: And here it is. The big ass pull. Apparently, the party can just create clones of people in the Metaverse, even though this has never at any point come up before and it has never been previously established that they can do this.

: The question is, if they could do this the whole time, why the fuck didn’t they? Why would you even need Haru to get through that door in Okumura’s dungeon if you could just make a Haru clone? I mean, the reason is obvious - because otherwise you’d have to explain how Akechi didn’t notice - but still.

: When I first played this, I thought this was merely godawful writing and a bad localization… but now that I’ve played YIIK and Ni no Kuni 2, I think I understand what happened here.

: I think what happened is that like Ni no Kuni 2, the writers had multiple drafts of this scene. With release date creeping up on them, they cobbled together what they had and hoped it made sense.

: I’ll talk a little more about this theory in what may turn out to be the next update. That’s how long this day is.

: “Yeah, that’s it!”

: “It seems that’s our only option. Listen close, everyone. I have a plan for how we carry this operation out…”

: “Waiting upstairs. Go tell them to come on down. I’m gonna fetch him.”

: The messaging here is all over the place. First you have (as we’ll soon see) their reaction of “We had to fake a reaction to Joker’s death because they might be watching”, and then you have “There’s no way they’d be watching Leblanc, we can all head there tomorrow as a group and no one will suspect anything.”

: I mean, that’s par for the course for this game’s plot, but still.

: “Makoto told me everything. Futaba-chan… I’m sorry that I caused you so much trouble this past summer…”

: “Eh, it’s ancient history now.”

: “But man, that goddamn detective!”

: “How’ve you been?”

: “You must be fine if you’re joking around like that.”

: “It truly is a relief to see your face.”

: “I bet that moron Akechi don’t even know we tricked him yet!”

: “Still, how’d you pull this off? Isn’t this guy considered dead?”

: “You weren’t told anything? I heard my sister brought him here though…”

: “Yeah. She came over in a taxi, dumped him off, and told me to keep him safe. It was right after they announced he had ‘died,’ too. Almost gave me a heart attack.”

: “I didn’t have time to explain…”

: “Hey, shouldn’t we tell Boss what really happened?”

: “We wanted to make our enemy believe the leader of the Phantom Thieves was dead.”

: “What?”

: “What we did was make that enemy kill his fake in the Metaverse.”

: “Enemy? Fake? What’re you talking about?”

: “The true culprit behind all these incidents set us up. Our true goal here was to determine their identity.”

: “True culprit? I see… so you guys were going up against someone else.”

: “It was Goro Akechi. You knew beforehand that he was the traitor, didn’t you?”

: Good to see Sae is clueless even after she gets out of the interrogation room. They just told you that!

: “Akechi himself gave us the chance to strike back. He made one fatal mistake.”

: The fatal mistake was being in a game written by Hashino. If Satomi Tadashi had written this, the game would have been over by now.

: “Couldn’t you have just said from the beginning that Akechi was the real culprit?”

: “That wasn’t something we could simply bring up. We couldn’t have you suspect Akechi. Besides, neither you nor the other investigators would have believed something like that, would you?”

: “…True. Akechi was credited with the arrest of the Phantom Thieves. Not even I would think he was the culprit… in other words, you left him alone on purpose… that was a bold move.”

: You know your plot is well-written when you have to have two characters who stand in for the audience and ask a bunch of questions to pave over the plot holes.

: Here’s what gets me, though. There’s two kinds of questions when you’re engaging with a story. The first is usually answered by “Because then there wouldn’t be a plot.” - this is your “Why didn’t Frodo just use the eagles to go right to Mount Doom and drop the ring in the volcano?”.

: Most of the questions here are that first type.

: “God, I can’t keep up with any of this stuff… uhhh, so what was this mistake Akechi made? What did he do?”

: “He slipped up in regards to Morgana’s voice.”

: “You mean our cat?”

: “Yes. Morgana can talk.”

: “…Sorry, was that supposed to be a joke?”

: “Oh! Our apologies. That’s completely true.”

: “You surprised?”

: “Does that mean… he said something just now as well?”

: “But you don’t understand him, do you? That’s how it was for all of us at first too.”

: “When you’re in the Metaverse, Mona talks like a normal person. Once you hear that and your brain realizes he can actually talk, you start to understand him in reality. …It’s a change in cognition! Most likely!”

: “Thanks to Akechi’s lame acting, we figured out something was up.”

: They repeat the Obvious Slip here, so I’ll just cut it.

: “Mona was the only one who was talkin’ about a pancake… that meant Akechi’d already been in the Metaverse by then!”

: “And since he was lying to us about that, we assumed he had a hidden motive behind contacting us.”

: “It seemed odd upon further thought. His reaction to my pancake comment was an honest one, after all.”

: “He did approach us when we found ourselves in the worst trouble yet.”

: “That’s why we asked Futaba-chan to wiretap his phone.”

: “Even that ace detective could never have imagined a program being installed so quickly. Futaba’s quirky nature proved to be a great help.”

: “That was just an act! After a few days of listening, this confirmed his betrayal.”

: They play the phone call between Akechi and Shido here, so I’ll skip that too.

: “Is this for real?”

: “I knew he was acting strangely, but to think he was this far gone…”

: If you’re wondering what the point of this entire exchange is, the answer is I don’t know. Maybe they did this expecting people would clear the casino and then drop the game for months?

: “He’s no ace detective… Akechi is the perpetrator behind the mental shutdown crimes.”

: Remember when I said the game is going to beat you over the head with the fact that Akechi is the killer?

: “On top of that, there’s someone else commanding Akechi… someone with great authority… so great that they can order an assassination in a police station. That’s why we had to make a move before they did.”

: You just said that! You said it almost word for word in that last cutscene! Fuck!

: “I see…”

: “We baited Akechi into Sis’s Palace, making him dispose of our leader’s fake but think he killed him.”

: “Could you elaborate on that in more detail? What exactly happened in my cognitive world?”

: You don’t fucking need to say “in more detail” after “elaborate”! That’s what the fucking word “elaborate” means! Fuck! This is Allanson dialog!

: “We’re sorry for using you without your permission. Your Palace had all the conditions we needed…”

: “What conditions?”

: “First, we required a place inside the cognitive world that was the same as in reality.”

: “That place’s based on the real world, after all. Anywhere that’s not warped looks just like normal.”

: “That’s why nobody but the person who uses the Nav even realizes they’re in the Metaverse.”

: “Back with Kamoshida, we came in from the station without even noticin’…”

: “And it was absolutely the best decision we could’ve made.”

: Putting in a plot recap after a plot recap… and then following it with another plot recap?

: “Makoto is normally so calm as well… but once her mind is set, she gets oddly impulsive…”

: “I did have a bit of a rivalry forming with Akechi… but I just couldn’t contain myself anymore once you became a target, Sis. The reason I joined the Phantom Thieves was to heal your heart, after all.”

: What rivalry? You basically rolled over and let Akechi take over on the casino, and then rolled over and let Futaba handle the stupid fake death plot!

: “My own achievements were all that mattered to me… I was desperate. I wasn’t myself at all. I’m sorry I couldn’t see that.”

: No shit! That’s why your entire dungeon arc existed! It was literally written on the goddamn walls!

: “We heard from Mako-chan that you were going to do the interrogation, Niijima-san.”

: “And regarding its location… I take it you used the data from my laptop?”

: “I’m sorry.”

: “Go on.”

: Okay, you can start paying attention again now. It’s time for them to justify the big ass pull.

: “First, our clothes didn’t change when we were down in the interrogation room.”

: “Once we heard that from Makoto, we secretly went to check it out without Akechi knowing.”

: “There was also one more thing we absolutely needed to make this work…”

: “Since he had yet to be caught though, there obviously wouldn’t be anyone in that room.”

: This line sounds irrelevant, but I think what happened is that in one of the earlier drafts of the plot, Sae had a clone of Joker and a clone of Akechi somewhere in her palace - and they used that instead of asspulling the ability to make clones.

: “They looked no different than actual people.”

: Wait, what police officers? There were no cops in Sae’s palace - unless you mean the security guards, who are dressed differently from the cops who come in with Akechi.

: Anyway, this probably made more sense in the original plot draft where they probably did have cops in the casino and the party presumably took one of those to act as the guard that Akechi kills.

: The thing is though, if you go with the given explanation of “we can create clones”, this part makes no sense. What would have stopped them from making a clone cop if the clones in the dungeon were like the ATM people in Kaneshiro’s palace?

: “After that, we just had to work our way into the Palace like usual while keepin’ Akechi in the dark.”

: “However, it was then that we were met with a terrifying, unexpected police ambush. As a result, even though we managed to grab the Treasure, we couldn’t get it out of the Metaverse…”

: “…Except that was all an act. We had prepared an empty briefcase beforehand and merely acted like we were taking the Treasure. This was because we knew the police would be coming for us.”

: I kind of forgot it existed, but while working on this update, I went and watched the Persona 5 anime to see how they handled this - because there’s no way in hell even the most patient of TV audiences is going to sit through all this. It’d be torture.

: The answer is… they don’t. At all. In the anime, they skip any explanation whatsoever and go right to Akechi killing Joker, then it cuts to the credits. That’s the final episode.

: I also watched the promotional OVA for Royal, and found this piece of sage advice from badly off-model Morgana about trying to analyze Persona 5’s plot:

: “We made sure before the operation that the police would be waiting to ambush us. And just as expected, he totally took the bait.”

: “Akira getting captured by the police went exactly how we planned it.”

: “And I had been interrogating him with no knowledge of this. But, how did you lure Akechi into this… cognitive world’s interrogation room?”

: “All I needed were the coordinates. Hehehehehe…”

: No, Hashino, this conversation started dragging like fifteen minutes ago. But yes, the game tries to patch over the rest of the plot holes in an entirely optional conversation. No, they don’t do any better job of it than they did here.

: “It must have been truly hilarious for our leader who sat idly in the real world’s interrogation room.”

: Here’s another reason that anime cutscene made no sense. Remember how you see the dead cop melt into black stuff and Joker looks up with the grin on his face? There’s no way Joker could even have known for sure the plan had worked!

: “So that’s why you gave me your phone… I only took it because of what you told me.”

: “It’s a shame I didn’t have the opportunity to see that for myself.”

: Wait, what? Why would you want to see… you know what, chalk this line up as non-canon.

: “All I could do was try to handle the messages that started coming to me on his phone. Huh… so in other words, I’ve been to the Metaverse, albeit for a brief moment.”

: “In our experience, there is little danger when someone enters their own Palace for so short a time.”

: “That’s the other reason we had him give it to you. We needed you to listen to Alibaba, deceive the guard, and ultimately aid in his escape. By having you head back to the interrogation room, we could return you to the real world as well.”

: “I mean, I had to think of some way to keep you from running into Akechi mid-assassination.”

: What Futaba will explain in the optional conversation is that she had a locator on both Joker’s phone and Akechi’s - which makes me wonder why they even needed to send Sae to the Metaverse at all.

: “…Astounding. I hadn’t the slightest idea that such a grand operation was taking place within me.”

: “I’m so glad Akira was able to persuade you during the interrogation. Even though we all knew Akechi’s plan, we were pretty worried about that part.”

: “True.”

: “Why’s that?”

: “Without Sis on our side, Futaba’s plan and subsequent breakout would never have been possible. That persuasion was easily our greatest gamble. We couldn’t consult Sis beforehand. It was absolutely the make-or-break moment of the entire plan.”

: “Still, I’m surprised you could convince me in such a short time. Were you confident you could do it?”

: “Understandable… either way, I can’t believe you went for such a risky idea…”

: “If we could just tell you the true culprit’s plan, I knew you’d realize the bigger picture… realize that Akira was telling the truth, and that there was a greater evil to pursue.”

: “As a result, we emerged victorious.”

: Basically, their plan was “Let’s hope Joker doesn’t get drugged too hard.” I think Makoto is the real villain here.

: “Then the reason you kept this a secret from me was so you could catch the true culprit, correct?”

: “Yes. Plus, you had lost control of yourself at the time…”

: “This is stunning. All I can really do is laugh.”

: “Huh?”

: “They had a coroner working to ensure Akira-kun’s death was reported as a suicide. That coroner didn’t take one look at the scene, and just passed along a falsified death certificate.”

: Okay, but like… surely Akechi told someone that there’s a dead body in the interrogation room. Were they planning on leaving it there?

: “…The bad guys have that much influence?”

: “Murder in a police station would be reckless otherwise. We also knew of a possible conspirator.”

: “Thanks to Futaba-chan’s messages and the guard’s demeanor, I eventually came to understand… and since the higher-ups at the police knew nothing of this, they were thrown into disarray.”

: “As a result, Akira-kun’s suicide during imprisonment was reported on the news, just as Akechi planned.”

: “And with that confusion, he was able to escape with Niijima-san’s help.”

: That would have been the interesting part! Fuck! Why did they not just do that instead? Have a whole action scene with Joker and Sae escaping police headquarters.

: Shit, they could’ve done this whole thing where you’d be stealthing around and Joker doesn’t have his Persona powers, so no motion-blur jumping and crazy acrobatic shit. Have it so every so often, they have to duck into a side room to avoid a guard and then have plot happen there.

: But no, this is Hashino’s Atlus, and we all know their slogan: “If it would require effort, it can’t be helped.”

: “I made sure nobody would check the morgue for his body, and thanks to that, nobody knows he survived.”

: Cop 1: “Hey, did you hear about that body Akechi said was in the underground interrogation room? Did anyone go clean that up?”

: Cop 2: “Oh, that? I think Niijima took the body to the morgue.”

: Cop 1: “Well, we have no reason to go clean up the blood that’s no doubt all over the interrogation room from someone being shot execution-style at point blank range or dispose of the body, so that’s that then.”

: “Thinking back to the interrogation though… I can’t believe what they did to Akira. The callous use of violence and even drugs is utterly abnormal. If he had lost consciousness and hadn’t been able to tell Sis about the phone, he would’ve died…”

: At this point, I don’t think Hashino knew what he was doing anymore. He’s undermining his own plot by pointing out how dumb it is. Let me tell you what this reminds me of, because there’s a much better writer who was in a similar situation but didn’t shit his pants like Hashino did here.

: There was an interview I read a couple years ago with Jeremy Blaustein, the guy who localized the first Metal Gear Solid game. He realized pretty quickly that the idea of Snake (or really, anyone) agreeing to infilitrate a heavily-guarded nuclear facility without even being issued a gun was necessary for the core gameplay to work, but dumb from a plot perspective.

: That’s where the “Weapons and equipment OSP?” line came from. That wasn’t in Kojima’s script, it was something Jeremy Blaustein added because it sounded enough like actual military jargon that no one was going to question it. That decision worked out brilliantly. I never even really thought about that until he pointed it out.

: That line is also brilliant because it gives the fewest possible details about the situation and doesn’t invite the audience to think about it too much. Instead, you’ve got Hashino shitting his pants and putting in a 30-plus minute cutscene that overexplains everything and is practically screaming at the player to analyze it.

: You know what would have made a lot more sense here? If Makoto was a traitor and working with Akechi. That’s supported a lot better by whatever this shit is than the actual plot they’re trying to support with it.

: “Don’t. You shouldn’t have to remember such things…”

: Joker looks her in the eye. “I still remember the tramp stamp.”

: “It still freaked me out when I saw the suicide on the news though.”

: “We made sure to live normal lives while he was being interrogated to avoid drawing any suspicion. Even with that, I couldn’t help but worry for him in my heart…”

: It was one day! Not even one day, given that he was out on the night of the 20th!

: “Well, I knew right away that our plan worked out.”

: “I wanted to believe… but considering what we’re up against…”

: “Ryuji’s a bit on the dense and carefree side.”

: “Can it, cat!”

: “I had to be patient and avoid this place until things settled down. I finally feel relieved…”

: “We knew he was alive, but… it was difficult to not worry until we could confirm it in person.”

: “Now that I think about it, my interrogation was just a formality for the head commander. What a joke letting me interrogate someone who was meant to die. They just wanted to avoid backlash…”

: Backlash for what? The whole point was that no one would give a shit because they were pinning a bunch of murders on the Phantom Thieves.

: “Very well. From here forward, I will do my utmost to assist you. …You saved me, after all.”

: “That’s reassuring to hear.”

: “I’ll do whatever I can to help too. Just let me know. Let’s take a break for now though. This old brain is pooped.”

: “Are you sure?”

: “It’s not like this place is the liveliest joint in town. It won’t be a huge loss for me.”

: “Let us accept his offer. What a great man…”

: The game cuts to black, and you’d think that you’re finally done with this godawful fucking plot dump. But are you? Fuck no you’re not! We’re at the halfway mark… of this day. Oh, did I not mention? This plot dump goes on for another three days.

: “…That sounds familiar…”

: “No. Nothing in particular. More importantly, you’ve done well with regard to the prosecutors.”

: “The cause of death for the SIU director has been settled as a ‘stroke’.”

: “I had him work quite substantially on forging evidence. His loss should be mourned.”

: “It was thanks to his efforts that I could enter the phantom thief’s interrogation room.”

: Hashino, please. You’re having two of your villains talk to each other about shit they already know, and for what purpose? We already knew the SIU director was working for Shido!

: “The SIU is in disarray with his death. I’ll take my time choosing a successor after the elections…”

: Come to think of it, how would they explain away that death? The SIU director died either at the same time as (or slightly after) they announced Joker’s death. They can’t pin it on the Phantom Thieves at that point.

: I mean, I know how, and that’s because this is a Hashino plot. This is what happens when you can’t write and then invite people to think about your writing.

: “At any rate, I’m now praised as a hero, and I owe it all to the Phantom Thieves.”

: “All possible hindrances are now gone. There’s no doubt that this election is mine.”

: Naturally, 12/18 is the deadline for dealing with Shido.

: “Elections, huh? Eh, don’t matter to us. It’s not like we can vote in 'em anyway.”

: “Why don’t we resume our conversation?”

: “Well, the Phantom Thieves’re back together! We can finally take it to Akechi and the bastard backin’ him!”

: "Akechi accidentally let that slip after the murder. He said, ‘Shido-san.’ "

: “Shido… feels like I’ve heard that somewhere.”

: “He is unmistakably a man of power if he has such strong connections to the police.”

: You’re… not going to have Makoto chime in and tell us who Shido is, even though everyone already knows?

: “…Who?”

: “I believe he’s a politician… remember, Ryuji? You said his speech was too loud.”

: “For real!?”

: “It’s certainly possible that Shido is the mastermind…”

: “Huh?”

: “Do you have some kind of evidence?”

: “Nothing material. However, there are various conditions which align with that possibility. First, he would profit from damage done to the current administration by the psychotic breakdowns.”

: “On top of that, he’ll most likely become the next prime minister if he wins this upcoming election.”

: “No…”

: “Did he set us up with that election in mind?”

: “If he is behind all this, that would be in stark opposition to his honest public image.”

: That’s kind of a “duh” statement there, Sae.

: “So his current position and popularity is just him benefiting from the mental collapses…”

: Here’s a question I’d like to posit to you, the reader. By this point, we’re well over 15 minutes into this cutscene - not counting the ones from 11/19 or 11/20.

: What is it that we’ve learned from this cutscene (apart from that Hashino is a terrible writer and the writers for Royal could have cleaned this up but didn’t) that we didn’t already know by the end of the last update?

: I ask this because I genuinely do not know. As far as I can tell, the only thing we learned is the bit with the diagrams about the details of the plan to fake Joker’s death.

: “We’ll make him have a change of heart, no matter what it takes.”

: “Mom…”

: “Shido, huh?”

: “What is the matter?”

: “I had a feeling he was wrapped up in all this.”

: “From the moment Wakaba died… I had a hunch he was involved. But there wasn’t anything I could do, so I chose to protect Futaba and went into hiding.”

: “Oh yeah, that’s just how Shido is, makes his enemies disappear.”

: “Originally, I was looking into the mental shutdown cases. It was then that I accidentally stumbled upon government research regarding the psychotic breakdowns.”

: “So, I tracked down the whereabouts of that research data and met with the associated parties. Boss was one of those parties.”

: “I would never have imagined all of this was connected… the mental shutdowns, psychotic breakdowns, Shido, and even the Phantom Thieves’ actions…”

: “Way back when, Shido kept saying he was going to be prime minister one day. Nobody believed him though…”

: “What’s going to happen to this country if Shido becomes prime minister? What about the world?”

: “The issue is simpler than that. This is nothing more than yet another selfish adult trying to impose his will on the public.”

: Hashino, why is the party not over this already? The whole “adults bad” thing probably should be dead by now. This game has a lot of problems with messaging, in that I don’t think Hashino knew what message he was trying to convey.

: The game DOES have a message… which we’ll see about five minutes before the end of the base game, because that’s how you should do that kind of thing (it’s absolutely not how you should do that kind of thing).

: “We gotta expose that rotten bastard!”

: “Yeah, we’ll do it like always!”

: “Then let’s check the Nav!”

: “Where would the location be?”

: “…What kind of things go through a politician’s head?”

: “I always think of dirty money and shady actions.”

: “What does he do? And where? We don’t got a clue about this guy’s life.”

: “His Palace must be somewhere that politicians frequent. Any ideas, Akira?”

: “How arrogant must he be to see himself as the ruler of the Diet Building?”

: “Our next target’s the big-shot politician Masayoshi Shido. We’re gonna do this, right?”

: “No need to waste time with him. We just gotta hit the head. Nobody against it?”

: “Of course.”

: “He will be a worthy opponent.”

: “Let’s win this, together!”

: “Time for revenge!”

: “Then it’s unanimous!”

: “All we gotta do now is figure out what he thinks that Diet Building place is.”

: “So, that’s the app that allowed me to enter the Metaverse.”

: “An old fart like me can’t wrap his head around all this stuff…”

: “We’ll have to deal with this before election day, December 18th. That means we need it done by the 17th.”

: “It’s best we hurry before they discover there’s no body in the morgue.”

: Given the competence level of the villains, I would not be surprised if one of them opens the morgue, fails to find a body inside, and then decides that Joker was “one of them Draculas” before going out to buy some garlic.

: “Should we start tomorrow then? We can meet at the Diet Building after school.”

: “That reminds me, what’re you gonna do about school? You can’t show up if you’re supposed to be dead.”

: “That’s what I told the school.”

: “Don’t let ‘em find out you’re alive then, all right? This whole thing’d be for nothin’!”

: I’m also just now realizing how incompetent this whole thing makes Akechi look.

: “What do you mean?”

: I’m going to cut some dialog here for my own sanity. Makoto recaps the entire thing about Shido being the real enemy. Again. Again.

: The writers for Royal could’ve fixed this. They just fucking didn’t, and that’s why Royal sucks.

: “We’ll be making use of the police statement that the leader of the Phantom Thieves committed suicide. Our leader who is presumed dead will come out of hiding to deliver a grand statement.”

: “He’ll say he has escaped prison, not committed suicide, and was in fact almost killed by a criminal.”

: “Everyone’s gonna flip.”

: “You guys thought through all this stuff too?”

: “We’re intellectuals, y’know!”

: You and Makoto have a single brain cell between you!

: “But the true battle has only just begun. We won the first round, but we must stay on our toes.”

: “Yeah, this ain’t the time to be celebratin’.”

: “These people tried to trap and kill us. There is no end to their inhuman, conniving nature. We will need to be prepared for whatever may come our way.”

: This is clearly it, right? It’s going to cut to black and then go to Joker alone in his room. There’s no way Hashino could possibly fuck this up any worse than he already-

: Do yourself a favor. Skip the rest of this update. It’s just going to be me screaming at how bad this fucking writing is. Next time… more plot dump, followed by even more plot dump.

: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

: “Back then, you earned the media’s attention as a young politician who could rise up against bureaucracy. Because of that, those who wanted to preemptively deal with problems tried to tie you up in scandal.”

: Shut the fuck up! Shut up! Fuck! No one gives a shit! This entire conversation doesn’t make any fucking sense! You’re telling each other shit you already know! Fuck!

: “To think I would fall for the ruse schemed by those decrepit fools in power. I recall that’s when you came to me. You promoted yourself, saying you had ‘special powers’. If it wasn’t for the research on cognition that I dabbled in, I would have thought you insane.”

: “I made those troublesome opponents psychotic, and erased any trace of that scandal.”

: If you put this exact dialog into YIIK and used YIIK’s character portraits, I would have no idea it wasn’t from YIIK.

: “Who’d think that tampering with a person’s heart could trigger a psychotic lapse or a mental shutdown. And when someone like that said he’d support me, I had suspected there’d be an ulterior motive.”

: “It’s because I sympathized with your aspiring ideology. I believed that your ideals needed to be achieved for the sake of the country’s future.”

: “Well, my faith in you was precisely why I pulled the plug on that research. I only need you using that power. It’d be troublesome if someone else uncovered how it works.”

: “Any suspicions should be snubbed out. Even the smallest doubt must be severed at the root. After all, we had an active Public Prosecutor’s Office director on our side until recently.”

: Hashino, I think everyone understands at this point that Director Evil was working for Shido.

: “Astounding, isn’t it? To think the director himself often forged evidence to secure his promotion. He was quite surprised when you confronted him about it. He didn’t know who leaked that information.”

: “Well, I got that out of his Shadow, so technically speaking, he did it himself.”

: Why does it even matter? Seriously, he’s already dead, who gives a shit?

: When did this become Deus Ex?

: “I must agree.”

: “There’s no need to be ruined along with such incompetent fools. I will lead this country to its revival. Those who get in the way must be eliminated at times - that’s the correct way to use the Metaverse.”

: “Still, it would stand out if there were continuous deaths and scandals with your political rivals. Which is why I made them ‘suspects’.”

: WE ALREADY FUCKING KNOW! FUCK! SHUT UP! FUCK!

: “Prosecute the targets that I turned psychotic… and solve them as cases unrelated to you.”

: There’s another 30 textboxes of Hashino’s trash plot shitting itself, and going through it, I feel just like I did when I was doing the YIIK LP.

: “Thanks to your efforts, my clean image remains untarnished, and I’ve monopolized public opinion. Once I gained public sentiment, collaborators from all sectors began approaching me on their own.”

: And here’s Hashino’s lame excuse for why the principal was part of the shadowy cabal.

: “The police were no exception. With their management in my pocket, keeping them in check was easy.”

: “When the Phantom Thieves emerged, I thought things might become somewhat troublesome.”

: “And they were just brats once we looked into it - all we needed to do was lay the blame on them…”

: How many times has he fucking repeated this in this conversation alone? Two? Three? I cannot bring myself to give enough of a shit to count.

: “When you told me that, I knew then that you were the better man.”

: “Their popularity was a bit beyond my expectations, but flipping it made the negative press stronger. After that, all I had to do was openly berate them; I’ve been gaining more supporters since.”

: I like to think that this scene was the straw that broke the camel’s back that was Hashino’s employment at Atlus. This is the moment when Sega’s executives realized that this game worked despite Hashino, not because of him.

: The only pleasure I take from this scene is knowing that it’s likely that this is where Hashino realized how horribly incompetent and out of his league he was. The moment where he realized that he fucked up, and now it was too late to fix the problem.

: “The current administration is dead with ongoing scandals… never mind the fact that they’re my doing. Even the government parties have begun splitting up… and they’re dissolving just as planned.”

: “The time has finally come… just a little more, and I will take the seat of prime minister. However, inauguration isn’t my goal. That’s when everything truly begins.”

: At the very beginning of the LP, I mentioned a spot where I would have to spoil Eternal Punishment. This is that spot, but I’ll be as general as I possibly can.

: Shido is a direct fucking ripoff of a villain from Eternal Punishment who has a very similar MO and a character who is basically Akechi but written by someone competent (and also not a high schooler).

: “In other words, you’re creating a more powerful country that can compete with the world.”

: “The public resonates with my ideals and follows me. And for that, some ‘sacrifices’ can’t be avoided. That is my duty as the chosen one. Your assistance has been very influential in making my plans proceed smoothly.”

: You know what I would pay money to see? How Satomi Tadashi would’ve salvaged this plot.

: “When I become prime minister, I’ll grant you whatever wish you want.”

: “With this most recent case, my name has become known across the country, perhaps even the world. Surely my story will be passed down as a hero who won against monsters that could control people’s hearts.”

: This line is… probably a reference to Eternal Punishment. I wonder if Hashino put this here himself, or if one of the other writers did it after they caught on to what he was doing.

: I may get a bonus Yusu-Gay done based on it, because it involves Jun being a ninja and the concept of samurai Joker with a ninja Yusuke amuses me.

: “I believe I’ll lay low and devote myself to my studies.”

: Right after this is an ENTIRELY OPTIONAL scene with Futaba where Hashino tries to fill in some plot holes. We’ll do that in a separate update, because I am done with his bullshit for now.

: Next time - more plot dump. Three more days of plot dump.

[Timrod]

@drcakey

This sequence neatly showcases one of the limitations of the protagonist being a player avatar. These blurred cutscenes are about Joker knowing and doing things the player knows nothing about, even though he is the player (this some Stanley Parable shit). If they were going to do…whatever it is the Phantom Thieves are doing, I can’t quite tell what’s going on yet…they should have come up with a reason for the rest of the team to come up with the plan by themselves, without input from Joker, and keep it a secret from him.

Yeah. I have to wonder if at any point, anyone told Hashino that having a plot that requires the player character to have agency is incompatible with a silent player-insert protagonist with no agency of his own. I’m sure someone probably did, and Hashino’s response was “I’ve got this, I can make it work,” because he’s too much of a fucking idiot to have realized that he was in way over his head and was waking a monster that he was not fully prepared to deal with.