Colors Flying High - Let's Play Persona 5 Royal

[drcakey]

@Timrod

: Is this Zero Escape because I feel like we’re slowly drifting into Zero Escape, and we all know how well that ended.

Well no one played Zero Time Dilemma so we don’t know how that ended. But don’t spoil it, I’m playing through the Zero Escape trilogy very, VERY slowly.

@Timrod

: Joker just goes “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you” and then it cuts to a shot of Yusuke going “Joker! Hurry up! Curtain’s in five minutes and there’s a sold-out house waiting for our all-catboy stage adaptation of Hibike Euphonium!”

I would watch that. (EDITOR’S NOTE: I would not watch that.)

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 68

: We have a reading slot on the train, and Chinese Sweets is one of the few books that will still unlock something.

: “Everything from high-class, traditional cuisine to street food, like xiao long bao. This seems like a fun place to explore and try out all the different cuisine.”

: “There are a lot of students here at this hour. It’s refreshing to make the work commute at a different time every now and then.”

: “Hahaha… you caught me. On my way to work today, I ran into these old ladies carrying some heavy luggage. Three of them in fact. So I was offering to help carry their things, but then my back made this sound that it shouldn’t make…”

: “…Well, anyway! Have you heard the news from Yoshizawa-san? I’m so happy for her. It makes me feel like doing my best too! Of course, as I say that, I’m running late.”

: I was honestly confused as to what the shit he was talking about, and then remembered there’s a throwaway IM conversation in the last update about her doing another meet.

: “Well, hey, we all need to switch it up every now and then! So let’s do our best for today, shall we?”

: There’s a glorified tutorial here to let us know there’s new food available at the diner in Shibuya. We don’t care.

: “It seems so many of us have experienced this that a term has been created for it. The English name for that particular phenomenon can be abbreviated to ‘PVS’… would anyone care to tell me what that stands for?”

: “Mr. Kurusu! Let’s hear it. What is this phenomenon commonly called in English?”

: “Okay! Let’s remember what she said together. So ‘PVS’, referring to when you mistakenly think your phone is going off? What’s the P?”

: That’s not the only P we’ll be seeing this update. I’m not even kidding when I say we’re going to oneshot a boss later.

: “Right. It’s gotta start with ‘Phantom’, since you’re only imagining it. So next is the V part. That means it’d be ‘phantom…’ what?”

: “Yeah, that’s it! When your phone buzzes, you say it’s ‘vibrating.’ Last is the S. So if we have ‘phantom vibration’ so far…”

: I really wish they would’ve done this in reverse, where they ask you about a Japanese word instead for English players.

: “The correct English term is ‘phantom vibration syndrome’. If you’re anxiously waiting for someone to contact you, your brain will apparently trick you. This is an affliction that can only affect a modern society, where being connected 24/7 is commonplace.”

: There have been a number of studies on PVS and an associated syndrome called “Phantom Ringing”, but from casually looking it up, it seems like PVS was something talked about a lot in the sort of mid-2010s and kind of peters out after that.

: “When I was a student, I’d get all worked up waiting for my S.O. to call me at night. Nowadays people complain if you don’t reply to a text you just saw. Kind of obnoxious, if you ask me.”

: “Think it’ll ever get to a point where we’ll be able to read each other’s minds? …I’ll pass on that, thanks.”

: If Joker had telepathy, he’d build that big dumbass brain machine from the X-Men movies and broadcast air horns into the minds of the horny.

: We grab a money reading from Chihaya and head in. This was kind of a waste, because the one-turn-kill bonus from Hifumi will apply far more often.

: “Oh, just one moment! I can fight too! Please, let me join you in battle!”

: “Your Persona is too weak to fight safely at the moment. Just leave that side of things to us for now.”

: I think you mean just leave that side of things to me.

: There’s enemies in this first area now, which is what I was farming in that last update to get fusion alarms.

: Okumura’s palace is kind of ass-backwards from a design perspective in that the toughest enemies appear at the start. We know what Arahabaki is capable of.

: I didn’t have Mara for this first part, even though I could’ve. Instead, I wound up using Bugs for almost the entire first half of the dungeon. Bugs can singlehandedly deal with most of the enemies here.

: By the way, do NOT attempt to do the Greatest Weapon on an Arahabaki. Kill these fuckers immediately.

: Notice how low Joker’s HP is. This is because if you knock down Arahabaki and do not immediately follow up with a kill, it will cast Makarakarn on itself, reflecting the next magic attack to hit it.

: Since Arahabaki reflects Physical and Gun, this makes it effectively invincible unless you somehow have Makara Break or are willing to take a hit. That’s what happened to Joker here, and why I used Kougaon instead of Psiodyne, as Psiodyne would have been a game over.

: The other enemy type are these floating orbs.

: Any fight like this, where it’s just Decarabia, you can win in a single button press - that button being the “RUSH” button.

: Hitting an enemy who is weak to physical gives you an automatic crit, where the party member involved will follow up with a gun attack.

: There’s a chest in one of these early areas before the biometric door, which I don’t think you can get the first time you’re here. Most of the chests here contain Physical or Magic Ointment, which provide Tetrakarn and Makarakarn for physical and magic reflects, respectively.

: “Looks like a hamburger to me. I mean, we’re dealing with Big Bang Burger here.”

: “I’m sure it’ll become clearer as we proceed. Come on, let’s go.”

: “So, for the door in question…”

: “Leave it to me.”

: “Haha! That biometric scanner’s useless now that we’ve got his actual family on our side!”

: “Was that an act Mona put you up to? Y’know, the beauty thingy?”

: “I was trying to be a heroine of justice.”

: “Uh… is that a joke?”

: “You moron!”

: “Ever since I was young, people have never seen me for who I really am. They would be kind to me just to please my father, and would get money and presents in exchange. Adults, teachers, even friends… it seemed like everyone smiled at me for their own personal gain.”

: “That’s why you kept the details of your family a secret at school…”

: “But the female superheroes I used to see on TV were great! They always fought for others, not themselves… and they were always happy. I wanted to be just like that! Even though I knew it was a fantasy… I still looked up to them.”

: “Everyone goes wild over heroes at some point. It’s fine havin’ someone like that on our side, right, Joker?”

: You know what was a total waste? Having Okumura not be voiceacted by the guy who did Dessler in the Yamato remake. Funny enough, he also does Inspector Zenigata in the newer Lupin stuff.

: Instead, they got some no-name actor. His biggest credit to date is being about 30 different minor villains in One Piece. He was also in Policenauts.

: “This is insane on so many levels!”

: “Him!? Did he come into the Palace too?!?”

: “No! He might look the same, but that isn’t the real person. Remember what I explained to you earlier?”

: “You mean about the cognition thing?”

: “Do you recall what I said before? That I would do my best for you? This is my answer to that!”

: “Are those… the rumored Phantom Thieves? …I see!”

: Just like Sojiro, Discount Dessler has exactly two facial expressions. We’ve seen the first. The second… is MAXIMUM OVERSMUG.

: " ‘Overcome failure at any cost, even if it means betraying others’ … You truly embody the Okumura motto!"

: “Why do you only ever think about gains and losses!? That’s why the company has a bad reputation… all because you treat people like they’re tools!”

: “To gain, you must give… one must be resolved to give even more if they wish to stand above others.”

: “The cold reality of kicking people down is a part of business! Virtue and sentiment are for losers. chuckle Okumura foods shall be the foundation of my victory!”

: If we actually had Mara at this point, I would have made a joke about firing the wave motion gun.

: “His company is just a stepping stone…”

: “She needn’t be your lawful wife anymore… take her as your lover, or whatever it is you desire.”

: “Lover? I was raised under this company’s wealth… I even accepted a political marriage for you. This is not what we discussed! Father! You want me to be that man’s plaything just to satisfy your own ambitions?”

: “Hmph, why fret? You should be overjoyed that you’re fulfilling your role as an Okumura daughter. This is the only value you’ve had since the beginning.”

: “So… even his own daughter’s life is a commodity to him.”

: This looks like a Daft Punk music video.

: So here’s what I don’t like about this. With Kamoshida, who was the last boss to have a construct of a person, you knew that his portrayal of Ann is completely different from how Ann actually is.

: That’s why it made sense that his Ann looks the same but dresses differently - because what he had was basically Ann with a different personality slapped on.

: The thing with this is that we know this is how Yoshikage Kira actually is. There’s really no difference between this version of him and the real one, so it doesn’t really make sense for him to be a giant robot.

New Persona: Milady

Origin: The Three Musketeers

Persona 5 Original

Full name: Milady de Winter. Villain from The Three Musketeers.

: Time to cuckold a robot.

: “So this is Haru’s true power…!”

: “Haru… all right, let’s do this! Time to pummel that scummy jerk!”

: The big robot is weak to Psychic, while the small ones are weak to both Fire and Wind. I also find it funny that Haru replaced Makoto.

: Because Bugs is so fast, I managed to do this fight without the robots ever getting a turn. This is what you want to do even if for some reason you aren’t using Caroline and Justine’s confidant to break the game.

: If you don’t kill the small robots fast enough, they’ll use a spell that reduces their HP to 1 to heal each other or the big robot to full.

: Not entirely sure how the table lands like that, given that you can see the teapot loads underneath it.

: Makoto learns Nuke Boost. We’ll be swapping Yusuke out for her, because physical damage is the one thing you do not want to use in this dungeon.

: Here’s Haru’s Persona. She’s a Gun/Psychic hybrid, and learns Psy Boost pretty quickly.

: “I did it, Mona-chan!”

: “What were you sayin’ about her Persona bein’ weak?”

: “Ah! He disappeared! Is that okay?”

: “Are you sure you taught her how things work in here?”

: “I did… or so I thought.”

: “What’s the point if she doesn’t get it?”

: “Don’t worry. Cognitive beings have no correlation to their real-world counterparts. You’ll see when we get back. I guarantee he will be okay.”

: “Then, he’s not dead?”

: Don’t you just love cutscenes where they re-establish shit we’ve known since the beginning of the game?

: “That’s right.”

: “Dude, does this mean we got a new teammate? Good to have ya… uh…”

: “She already has a code name.”

: “I’d like to be a heroine of justice, but the Phantom Thieves are on the darker side of the law. I chose the name Noir to remind me of that.”

: “…There you have it.”

: “As long as she’s into it…”

: “She created quite an elaborate backstory…”

: “Noir. I like it. It conveys a dignity that won’t bow down to others, as well as a rebellious spirit toward society.”

: “Thank you.”

: “Don’t let your guard down, Noir. Our trip through the Palace doesn’t end until we steal the Treasure, after all.”

: “Hm, that seems quite far off… it is difficult to ascertain the shortest route there as well.”

: “We’ll just have to keep going on whatever path we find for the time being… let’s go.”

: There’s a save room to the left and a hallway to the right. This first part has nothing but Arahabaki and Decarabia in it, but during one fight, something interesting happens.

: We get a follow-up crit from Morgana.

: “No, this one isn’t a biometric authentication… but it might be hard to open it from here. We’ll probably need to look for a server or a terminal if we wanna break through.”

: “A server, huh…”

: There’s a small raised platform just to the right of the locked door with an air vent on it.

: This is the first dungeon outside of Mementos where we start getting these party chat things in real-time in the top right.

: “Mwehehe… watch this… all right, that should’ve opened up a buncha doors! I managed to grab a map of the place, too.”

: “I dunno about that… there are three more areas ahead: the barracks, the factory, and the airlock area…”

: In the base game, it was, and absolutely no one liked it. This is that dungeon I mentioned earlier that was reworked for Royal because it was the single most hated thing in the game.

: They also significantly nerfed the enemies - except for one, who we’ll meet in a bit and was the cause of two or three game overs, which were admittedly my fault.

: “Yeah, and what’re they makin’ in that factory? Burgers?”

: “Actually, I found one other interesting file when I was cracking into the system. It’s called ‘Project: Escape to Utopia’. There was some kinda blueprint inside too. It looks like whatever they’re making for it is ginormous. That factory can’t just be for burgers.”

: You’ll notice if you look at the minimap that the server rack is halfway through the room. If you go all the way through, Morgana will warn you about a nearby Will Seed.

: Two grappling hooks later and we’re at the seed room.

: “Hah. Seed room.”

: And now we can move past that locked door.

: “But it doesn’t seem to be completely out of order either. Perhaps it’s on another floor. Let’s try coming back later.”

: “That bastard really doesn’t trust anybody, huh?”

: “Skull!”

: “It’s all right. Father is clearly guilty of some horrible crimes… that’s why we will stop him.”

: “We’ll still need to think of a way to get past here though. Can you figure something out, Navi?”

: “If it’s not a normal lock or a biometric one, I think it might use rank-based authentication. Basically, you’ve gotta be at least a chief director to get through here.”

: Oh boy was this one of the worst parts of this dungeon in the base game. It’s so bad that I believe the speedrun skips it entirely by clipping through a wall.

: “Oh, you mean an employee ID! Those are used to authorize entry in the real world company as well.”

: “You two are so smart! That’s gotta be it!”

: “Then it’s decided. Let’s find an employee with the rank of chief director or higher and take their employee ID!”

: “Look, there’re a ton of ‘em… you wanna start takin’ their IDs?”

: “Not yet. If we go instead to their origin, there should be even more ‘employees’ for us.”

: “Oh, great idea. That should make it even easier to find a chief director! Let’s head over there, Joker.”

: “I did a scan of the area, but there are multiple large readings around here. They’re definitely different from normal robots, so it’s prolly one of them.”

: “So we’ll need to find which one is the real one? But how exactly will we do that?”

: This is where the new design for this area really kicks in. In the base game, you kind of stumbled on these robots in a room and that was where things went to shit.

: “By all appearances, that massive red robot must be quite important.”

: “True. Even if it isn’t a chief director, it might have some intel.”

: In the base game, there were several rooms like this one with a larger red robot in them. You had to eavesdrop on the small robots (which was VERY finicky) and then get clues to identify which of the big robots was the Chief Clerk.

: Once you had that, there was a dialog puzzle with each big robot where you had to determine which one matched the clues you were given. If at any stage of this process you got caught or fucked up, you got a security level increase and all the doors would lock until you fought an encounter.

: Royal’s version of this dungeon says “fuck it” and cuts out the middleman. This is truly one of the biggest improvements it made gameplay-wise apart from the reloading gun ammo.

: I almost feel like they’re trying to insult me by repeating it three times.

: “Dude, we don’t even work here.”

: “Skull, would you mind staying focused? Excuse me, we have a matter to discuss with the chief director.”

: “Well, it was worth a try.”

: “Sounds like this guy REALLY doesn’t like the section chief. Let’s try and pump him for information, Joker!”

: There’s still kind of a dialog puzzle, in that if you pick the right option you get some information about what the next big robot is weak to. The base game didn’t give you that information at all.

: I laughed so fucking hard at this when I read it. I actually like the way this robot is written, because it amuses the shit out of me that there’s a robot who does nothing all day but be stressed and scream about his boss’s elemental weaknesses.

: I’m just picturing the little robots going “Dammit, there he goes about the wind powers again.”

: “Mweheheh, so the section chief is weak to Wind, is he? We didn’t get any deets on the chief director, but this is still good! Looks like this guy’s done chatting, so let’s clean up, Joker!”

: I promptly nuke the small robots down in a single hit with Agidyne, and then completely forget what I just read about the wind powers.

: You know what, let’s try that one again.

: The larger robots have Endure, so they’ll withstand a single killing blow. I should mention that in the base game, these robots had access to third-tier spells of their element. That was removed for Royal.

: “Oh, this must be an employee ID card! Let me see… it says chief clerk on it.”

: “But we’re looking for one that’s chief director or higher, yes?”

: “This one should be okay for now. At the very least it’ll help us get to some new places.”

: Localization fails!

: Right down the hall, there’s another save room and then our first red shadow.

: The red shadow here is Girimekhala, who only seems to spawn in the first half of the dungeon. Girimekhala is absurdly lethal.

: Through some combination of shock and just being amazed at how bullshit it was, I didn’t record the two or three deaths I had to him.

: Girimekhala’s gimmick is that he reflects physical and has a spell called Wage War which targets the entire party and enrages on hit. This means that your party will automatically use a physical attack next turn and die to the reflect.

: The door we need that ID to open is right behind the Girimekhala.

: Little premature there, Haru.

: “Agreed. Let’s go about this one step at a time.”

: “Hey… are those two giving orders to the other robots? You guys think they might be the chief director or the section chief?”

: “Prolly the section chief. I’m sensing something big further down. That one’s gotta be the chief director.”

: “Ideally, we should secure the ID of the highest-ranking one here.”

: " Yes… we can’t reach the chief director with the ID we have now."

: “Then let’s just beat one of 'em and swipe what we can!”

: “Hold up. The reading’s not super clear, but I’m pretty sure only one of them’s a section chief…”

: “So only one of them has our key. What’s the plan? Shall we simply crush both of them?”

: This was something a lot of people wound up doing in the base game, because it was just that annoying to deal with.

: “There’s no need to waste energy like that. If we can talk to each one and compare what they say to the intel we have on hand… that way, we might be able to tell which one is the section chief.”

: The game even has it so you’re facing the actual section chief when you come out of the cutscene.

: “Hold on a second. We’re…”

: We already know that this is the right robot, given the whole giant red “USELESS” in all caps. In the base game, picking this option failed the dialog puzzle. In Royal, however…

: “It looks like fighting is our only option now. Let’s go!”

: I have questions about how Futaba manages to take those goggles off in time for battles. Do her glasses magically morph into the goggles like a magical girl? Is she wearing them underneath? Does her UFO have a glasses storage bin specifically for this kind of situation?

: “Well! Sounds to me like he’s got some beef with the chief. Joker, if you play him right, he might dish some useful details!”

: This becomes kind of hilarious when you outright tell him you’re John Persona.

: “Nice! A classic slip of the tongue! I don’t think he has any more useful dirt, so let’s just mop the floor with him real quick!”

: “Any boss that lets their employees suffer deserves the same thing!”

: If this was a good game, they would have had a scene where the chief clerk comes running in after you get the section chief into a hold up (or force him to use endure) where he runs in holding a table fan and screaming “Taste my WIND POWERS!” before turning the fan on and using the breeze to do the last point of damage.

: “It’s an ID! This should get us through the gates.”

: “So that one was the… Section Chief? Or somethin’? Ugh, why can’t the big boss just come to us…?”

: Makoto won’t even let you fight the other robot, which is kind of a disappointment.

: “Great! This one’s open as well!”

: “We’ve gotta be close to the end, right? Chief director is usually directly above section chief!”

: “Probably safe to assume there aren’t any high-rank robots in there.”

: “Well, sounds like there’s no point checkin’ it out.”

: “Not quite. If we don’t have any bosses watching, that might just be an opportunity to get something good.”

: “Good point. Joker, let’s sneak by them and listen in on their conversation.”

: The actual eavesdropping text box is on screen for like five frames. It’s so fast that I could barely read it, let alone screenshot it.

: I took this on a second run after dying in the next area to a Girimehkala.

: In a very strange move, they’ll only say it once, and after that any robot you eavesdrop on will just say this over and over.

: “Huh… so we’re basically eavesdroppin’ on 'em…”

: “It’s a divine skill of mine.”

: “Impressive. I can see how you managed to wiretap Leblanc for so long…”

: “That? Oh, that was nothing! Someday I’ll show you what real wiretapping is. Mwehehe…”

: Makoto and Yusuke will suggest eavesdropping on a different group of robots, but we have all the information we need.

: It would’ve been really funny if they made the second robot in this section have near-identical responses but he’s like, a marketing intern.

: Again, they should’ve had the section chief come in screaming “MIND POWERS!” and then have him pick up a chair and throw it at the chief director for the last point of damage.

: Then he looks at the party and goes “What? That totally required the use of my mind. Mind powers.”

: “Perfect! We’ve finally found the chief director’s ID card!”

: “This means we can go in that rank door downstairs now!”

: “Welp, let’s go check it out! Time to make like a banana and split!”

: And that’s it for this section of the dungeon. The map is about half the size of the base game’s, and really this dungeon lost a lot of its length because of it. If you do everything right the first time, this dungeon is way shorter than Futaba’s was.

: “Perfect. We have the employee ID card we were after, so let’s head downstairs when we’re done here!”

: The doors to the save room lock after you kill the chief clerk, and you need the chief director’s ID to unlock them.

: “Of course! Well… probably.”

: “You know, it’s a little odd… I thought Okumura might be behind the mental shutdowns… but we haven’t found anything even remotely pointing to such a secret so far.”

: “Something that important might be deeper in. Let’s just keep going.”

: “If it’s seriously that close, can’t we just go from outside? No point goin’ through there.”

: “Hm… that might be worth a try.”

: Solidifying the fact that this palace is just Space Colony ARK from Sonic Adventure 2, we grapple onto a… thing… that then shoots us across the map.

: There’s an elevator platform you can use to get back to the start, where there’s a save room I missed.

: Strangely, Arahabaki basically stops showing up here, so the fights are actually so easy we can use Insta-Kill on them.

New Trashsona: Mothman

Origin: West Virginia

First Appearance: Devil Summoner

Creature supposedly seen by a number of people in West Virginia in the 1960s. Conspiracy theorists at the time believed that Mothman was a bio-weapon that lived in an abandoned World War 2-era munitions plant near Point Pleasant. In reality, Mothman was likely a sandhill crane (a bird not native to West Virginia) that had been knocked off its migration route.

: Insta-Kill is kind of a pain to do, because you have to dash into an enemy and hope it doesn’t ambush you. Mothman, by the way, is very good for using the Greatest Weapon on as he is weak to guns.

: The start of this area is a semi-circle surrounded by platforms. You can skip all but the last one, which has the grapple spot to get to the next set of platforms.

: The grapple spot leads right to the door to the next area. There’s some optional bits here which are largely not worth it.

: After getting fucking mauled by a Girimehkala, I change tactics. Yusuke is out, Makoto is in.

New Persona: Girimehkala

Origin: Sri Lanka

First Appearance: Megami Tensei II

Giant demon elephant said to be the steed of Mara. Has one eye that kills anyone who looks at it.

: Look, I wanted an elephant with laser tusks and bling. Turns out I suck at the whole creation thing. You have any idea how hard it is to throw out a ten-foot tall elephant demon once you’ve made it?

: We encounter a Koh-i-noor, the treasure demon for this palace. Futaba then immediately holds it up for us.

: In the base game, Koh-i-noor was a demon you had to knock down with either a technical or Down Shot from Shinya. Royal gives it a weakness to Gun to make it like all the other treasure demons.

: The real Koh-i-noor is one of the British crown jewels, and is currently on display in the Tower of London. It’s one of the largest existing diamonds in the world.

: Naturally, the British got it after annexing India, which had gained and lost it several times between when it was first mined in the 13th century and 1849, when it came into British possession.

: Four countries hold claim over it - those being Iran, Afghanistan, India and Pakistan. All four have demanded the return of the gem from the British government.

: “Just past this building. We’re definitely getting closer.”

: “I find it somewhat odd that we have still yet to see anything about the mental shutdowns…”

: “Well, this Palace is on the site of the corporate HQ, remember? If he never told any employees about it, we may not find any hints toward his involvement.”

: This part doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense. Why would it matter if Okumura told anyone when he would be the one who knows about the murders in the first place?

: I mean, that would make sense if the palace was made from the thoughts of his employees and he just happens to rule it - but that’s not the case, this is entirely in Okumura’s brain.

: “Worst comes to worst, we’re just gonna have to get that info outta the Shadow himself.”

: “Anyway, let us hurry inside… I believe the factory comes next…”

: I got into another fight with a Koh-i-noor and as it turns out, they’re worth a shitload of money if you kill them with an All-Out.

: There’s two ways you can go in here - the obvious progress route, and then a second route up a small staircase onto some catwalks that doesn’t seem to go anywhere.

: You can jump onto a catwalk from the stairs and grab a chest, and also find a vent that will take you to the second Will Seed room, except…

: Why would we even need to? The party can kill most of the enemies here without even fighting them. Oh well, let’s go the other way.

: “Do you think it’s related to that ‘Escape to Utopia’ thing?”

: “Hold on a sec. Ain’t the guys in here movin’ kinda weird…?”

: “…Unfortunately, this is the exact opposite of how you would imagine a utopia to be.”

: “These conveyor belts and the positioning of the workers… this is almost identical to the company’s bun factory… I can’t believe this.”

: “At the very least, this is how Okumura views his workers. My apologies for saying so, Noir, but this is truly atrocious.”

: “Well, it’ll all be under control if we can trigger that change of heart in him, yeah? Let’s go!”

: You’ll immediately notice that big blue cylinder on the left. We’ll come back for that.

: “Is this gonna be another one of them authenti-whatever things?”

: Didn’t he know the word “authentication” in one of the earlier updates? I’m too lazy to look.

: “No, there’s no authentication here. Kinda anticlimactic, huh?”

: “Well, the easier, the better, right? Let’s go!”

: “Whoa! We almost got crushed!”

: “That freakin’ hunk of metal broke way too goddamn easy!”

: “There is no point in complaining at this point. We will be forced to search for another route.”

: “You’re right. Let’s find something that will get us past here.”

: “Hmm, do you think we’d be able to make use of these fragile arms somehow?”

: Now we can go back to the cylinder.

: “Hah!”

: “Huh… this is the control panel for that robotic arm. It seems we can use this to set it to either 3x, 5x, or 10x normal speed.”

: “I bet it’d break if it was stuck on 10x speed for a long time.”

: “It was dead like, instantly. I know it was 10x normal speed, but still… that’s weak.”

: “That just proves how truly overworked these machines are.”

: “It seems any increase in workload would have led to its collapse…”

: Yusuke is right in that it doesn’t matter what you pick, the arm still breaks.

: “Wait, but don’t you think we might be able to walk on the broken arm? We should check it out, Joker!”

: A couple of new enemies show up here, one being Lilim. Bugs can easily instakill her with Kougaon.

: If we cross the broken robot arm and go back toward the elevator instead of forward, there’s a server rack.

: From there, all we have to do is grapple twice and we’re back at the top of that staircase from earlier.

: If we go the other way, there’s a tunnel underneath some blocks we can use to progress. It’s right around here that I got the fusion alarm that let me fuse Mara.

: Kumbhanda is also encounterable in this part of the dungeon.

: And here’s that alarm I needed.

Returning Persona: Mara

Origin: Buddhism

First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei I

Demon in Buddhist mythology who is essentially the Buddhist equivalent of Lucifer. Considered to be evil itself, they control people through lust and their fear of death. Is considered the ultimate obstacle to achieving nirvana. Penis imagery comes from a Sri Lankan story in which Mara tempts the Buddha with their daughters.

: In some variations of the myth, I’m a goddess instead!

: Mara also isn’t the only giant penis demon anymore. Royal added a Persona called Mishaguji, an ancient Shinto god of sex that is basically a giant sperm with legs.

: I then itemize Bugs into a weapon for Makoto. A lot of the high-level Personas itemize into very good equipment, and it is in fact possible to break the game even more by doing so.

: At 90 more attack and a crit bonus, we won’t be replacing these anytime soon.

: Naturally, Makoto gets a ridiculous looking pair of bear gloves in combat.

: The cylinders are color-coded, and we can see the arm it controls in the background.

: Before we make progress, there’s a third cylinder that controls an arm way off in the distance.

: The yellow arm leads to a new weapon for Haru.

: Belphegor starts showing up in this room, and I believe it’s the only one in which he appears. Of course, we have Mara now, so…

: “We will not be able to reach it without passing over what appears to be a hydraulic press…”

: This is starting to sound like the intro to Legends of the Hidden Temple.

: “We gotta do somethin’ about those before we get to the press.”

: “It’ll probably be a hassle, but I have a feeling it’s our only option. We need to turn off those infrared lasers and deactivate the hydraulic press. Let’s try to find some sort of controls for those.”

: I don’t remember if the base game did this or not, but all of the switches in this palace get marked with giant check marks on the map so long as you’ve seen them - you don’t even need to interact.

: “Wait… break is an option!?”

: A Press Shift is that thing that Mot does in Nocturne where he gives himself infinite press turns.

: Oh, so this is like Naughty Dog. Got it.

: “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up! What the hell did it mean, ‘constant’!?”

: “Working unpaid overtime is just how these workers live, so setting it to that changes nothing.”

: “What a nightmare…”

: “…”

: “There is no benefit to us if nothing changes. We can likely ignore that option entirely.”

: Ryuji looks at the machine. “Where’s my lunch!? I pressed the lunch button, where’s my lunch!?”

: The timer on this is pretty generous as long as you’ve cleared the area out.

: They also got Shoji Meguro to do a fucking theme for when the timer is going, but couldn’t be bothered to do one for the three days Joker spends alone at home. Fuck this game.

: Crossing the nearest press brings us to another switch.

: “Should we set it to ‘Lunch’ again?”

: “Yup. Actually, I did some research into these… and the other two options are meaningless. ‘Break’ only lasted for like 5 seconds…”

: “Five!? What the hell’re you supposed to do in five seconds!?”

: “Take a deep breath?”

: “Regardless, those options are no use to us. It’s probably best we simply choose ‘Lunch’ from now on.”

: “Hold on, it looks like you can disable the infrared on this too.”

: “Aha! So this room is actually the one with the main console in it. We should prolly disable the infrared before setting it to ‘Lunch’.”

: This seems ridiculous, but this actually happened in one place I worked at. The company was tanking so they got rid of all the security guards… which promptly caused them to lose the certifications they needed to keep their contracts with their clients going.

: “Well, now we can get over to that hydraulic press, right?”

: We get over with about 10 seconds to spare.

: This door is one that you can clip through, which avoids a series of really easy fights. I was going to attempt it, but then in my hunger for fusion alarms I accidentally killed all the enemies on the floor.

: The clip involves getting an enemy to chase you into geometry, fighting them, running from the battle and then using a smoke bomb to get the dalek thing to clip you into the floor.

: “Hm, that is how it appears on the map as well. However, with the infrared sensor as it is, we cannot proceed.”

: “Wait a moment. Don’t you think those robots over there are acting a little strange?”

: “They’re still respectin’ him even though they prolly see coworkers collapse from gettin’ overworked…”

: “It’s mind control. They’ve been purposely driven into a state of overadaptation.”

: “Over…what?”

: “When a person is continually faced with oppression, they come to welcome its presence. Such psychological trickery is being used here. I… experienced it first-hand for many years.”

: “Fox…”

: “So these robots exist because Father is aware that he’s exploiting his employees…”

: Hashino, I get it already, please stop beating me over the head with it.

: “Yes. We should be careful though. I doubt we’ll be able to communicate with these ones. We’ll probably go straight into battle when we approach them. I suggest you prepare beforehand!”

: We have all the preparation we need. Their name is Mara.

: This opens a path near the arm we knocked down on our way in.

: It doesn’t stop the yellow press, which we have to do a bit more work to get to.

: There’s a weapon for Ryuji over here.

: “But we have to do this. I smell the Treasure somewhere past where they are. Brace yourselves!”

: These robots are different from the ones we fought earlier in that they’re weak to psychic.

: There’s three waves of these robots, and Joker destroys them in one hit with Mara.

: “The heck? That was easy as hell…”

: “Well I mean, they’re overworked, brainwashed, AND forced to go up against an impossible enemy. I hope nobody ever treats me like that after I turn back into a human.”

: These robots have learned the hard lesson that there is no winning when your opponent is a giant penis.

: “…”

: “C-Come on, let’s keep going! Don’t look so down, Noir!”

: “The employees are being dumped in that incinerator!”

: “No… they’re turning all of the worn-down robots into fuel… that means the power source running this factory…”

: “It’s… people’s lives…”

: Dammit, Hashino! I fucking get it! Japanese work culture sucks! Doing this kind of shit is why I checked out on the plot when I played this the first time!

: I’m also wondering who had to restrain Hashino from having it so that Okumura is using the robots to make crystal skulls.

: “Noir… are you okay?”

: “I’m not…”

: “Huh?”

: “I’m not going to forgive my father for this! I can’t believe this is how he sees his workers! Let us go, everyone! We will change his heart, no matter what!”

: “Right! We’re with you all the way, Noir!”

: And now we’re in the last area. I feel like this one was also made shorter in Royal, but I’m not so sure.

: “Putting it lightly, I believe such an action would lead to our extermination.”

: Nah, if Space Station 13 taught me anything it’s that all you need is a firesuit, an oxygen tank, and some coffee and you’ll be fine.

: “Wellllll, apparently you’ll be okay for like thirty seconds if you keep your eyes and mouth shut. Which is weird, because honestly, I woulda thought we’d just explode out there.”

: “Don’t scare us, dammit!”

: At this point, we’ve had an alarm sitting around for a while and I wanted to use it. Kali has fallen a long way from Innocent Sin, where she used to be what was essentially Yukino’s ultimate Persona.

Returning Persona: Kali

Origin: India

First Appearance: Megami Tensei I

Hindu goddess associated with death, time, and destruction. An aspect of Durga, who was Yukino’s Ultimate Persona in 1 and Innocent Sin. Modern Hinduism changes her portrayal as a violent goddess who represents time and change.

: We then fuse Kali with Mara to make Baal, who I’ve somehow wound up using in every Persona game I’ve LPed.

Returning Persona: Baal

Origin: Syria

First Appearance: Megami Tensei I

Baal is a Semitic word meaning “lord” or “master”, and does not refer to a single entity. The portrayal of Baal in the Megami Tensei games is actually a Canaanite god called Hadad, who was associated with rain, agriculture, and fertility.

: Baal is basically a better Mara. Ayamur is his signature skill - it’s a single target physical attack that hits three times and has a 95% hit rate… which is better than a lot of similar skills.

: He also starts with Panta Rhei, which is the best single-target wind spell in the game. I made a mistake here by not sacrificing to him to get Vacuum Wave instead.

: I also replaced Matarukaja with Wind Amp and re-summoned Mara because I still need him for Mapsiodyne.

: During a fusion alarm, Baal itemizes into what is probably Haru’s best gun. We will be doing this in November, because we’re already low on money and the palace sucks for farming.

: The only door in this area is locked, so it’s time to do the Final Rush thing.

: The console here lets us unlock the doors and progress.

: The side room that we passed by earlier has an itemized tetrakarn in it. We’ll be making good use of that later.

: “To think we’d end up flying through space…the awe I felt at seeing that flying bank feels like a distant memory at this point.”

: And this is where we find this area’s gimmick.

: “I hope we can reach our goal with just the ones that are on…”

: “Hmm… we need to get past here, though. Guess we can’t just sit around. Let’s keep going.”

: Welcome to the gimmick. The airlock field has two types of airlocks: Alpha and Omega. The switches control which one of those is active.

: However, what’s not immediately obvious is there’s a third airlock type - those being orange airlocks. Orange airlocks are unlocked at specific switches (which still function as the ordinary alpha/omega switches) and stay unlocked even if their letter is turned off.

: Two new enemies show up here: Mithras (seen above) and Kaiwan, who we fused a while back.

New Persona: Mithras

Origin: Rome

First Appearance: Soul Hackers

Roman sun god about whom little is known. His worshippers, known as Mithraites, were persecuted by the early Christians and very few written records about the religion remain. Believed to have been born out of a rock and is often portrayed slaying a bull. Worship of Mithras was popular in the Roman army.

: We want Mithras because he itemizes into Nuke Boost and Nuke Amp.

: “There is something written above each one. These symbols…”

: Here’s a map of this first area. It’s not too complicated.

: This little dead end room in the middle has the switch that controls the airlock we need to progress… and also the one that lets us access the last Will Seed.

: “Don’t give us that! Your so-called training is nothing more than torture! Let’s go, everyone!”

: When I got here, I hadn’t really used Mara a whole lot - at least, not for the purpose I built him for. You can see that even tossing out Agidyne, Ann is barely registering damage.

: Melchizedek gets one hit off, casting an enemy-only spell that causes Hunger. Hunger is pretty much exclusive to Okumura’s dungeon, is very hard to fix, and cuts damage by like 75%.

: My plan was to use Mara to charge and then do One-Shot Kill to see how much damage it did.

: The answer is roughly 2500 damage, killing Melchizedek in one hit. Despite the name, One-Shot Kill is merely a high damage gun skill, and Melchizedek is not weak to gun damage, nor did I have a baton pass active.

: I would’ve used Baal instead, but I think I just kind of forgot I had him.

: The special switches are highlighted in orange, which is a detail I did not notice in the base game and as a result made everything take longer.

: “That was simple! Let’s keep blazing a path through here!”

: “Once we pass through this airlock, the Treasure’ll be right in front of us.”

: “Sweet! …Uh, but this one ain’t workin’… I guess we’ll just hafta find another switch, huh?”

: “That could very well be the only way. Let’s do what we can.”

: There’s only one active airlock in this room, so let’s go for it.

: This part introduces the final gimmick of this dungeon - green airlocks. These are basically Persona 5’s version of those one-way doors you see in the mainline SMT games and Persona 1.

: They’re on a separate cycle from the regular airlocks and switch when you go through one - so in this case, going through the Alpha airlock would close all the green Alpha airlocks and open the green Omega ones.

: One thing I think is kind of badly designed about this part is that if you don’t notice the orange switches, there’s no reason to touch them because you can get pretty much anywhere without them.

: Here’s a map of the floor. The orange switch is the one at the very top, where you can see the footsteps coming out of.

: “So this is where they’re being used.”

: “But what are they…? It’s hard to tell just from looking…”

: “Dude, let’s leave the factory tour for later. We gotta focus on the Treasure right now!”

: “Huh. It’s rare to hear Skull say something sensible…”

: “But we haven’t found any information about the mental collapses. That bothers me…”

: “Oh yeah, you’re right.”

: “Maybe he’s hidin’ it? We got this far. Wouldn’t it be better to just squeeze the truth outta the guy?”

: “That plan is fine by me.”

: “Let’s send out the calling card and take his Treasure then.”

: The update’s going to abruptly cut off here, because I didn’t do my due diligence. Actually, the guide author didn’t. Have I mentioned that I reported them to GameFAQs for plagiarism and was told it’s perfectly acceptable to steal entire charts from a Japanese guide without credit? They only seem to give a shit if there’s an actual copyright issue.

: Anyway, there’s an optional scene with Hifumi that is supposed to happen tonight… but even without that extra reading, we wouldn’t have gotten it. In order to get it, you have to be Rank 8 and have no extra points with Hifumi beyond those you got from the Rank 8 event, unless that was changed in Royal.

: Fortunately, I was able to find a recording of it from the base game on Youtube. You can see that here. You know what? I’ll download the video and take screenshots too.

: That’s not the only scene with Hifumi that’s extremely hard to get. There’s a second one on 10/10 that requires you to be Rank 9, on the romance route, read the “Theme Park Escort” book to unlock Destinyland, and to have zero extra points with Hifumi. This one’s also on Youtube: you can see it here. The guide doesn’t even acknowledge that this scene exists.

: This means that what I actually wound up doing in-game was Hifumi’s Rank 10. I’ll have to make a minor schedule change to accomodate this: we’ll be doing Sojiro’s confidant on the night we’d normally do her Rank 10, because he has no optional events.

: Next time, we’ll discard the one lesson we learned from Ni no Kuni 2 and do a boss fight on Extreme… because it’s so badly designed that it’s actually easier that way.

: “This means at times, retreating is an effective strategy in order to attack with your next move.”

: I hope you’re ready to see the QUALITY translation the base game had.

: “I’ve read all my textbooks… where can I gain knowledge that I have yet to discover…? Oh, never mind. May I request a match?”

: This is why I didn’t like Morgana in the base game, because holy FUCK are his portraits bad. Royal improved them and I appreciate that.

: “Indeed, that place may have knowledge that I have yet to discover… well then, let’s go there right away.”

: “…But look at all these books. It’s not going to be easy to find.”

: “Yes, you’re right. I have no intention of giving up easily. I’ll do my best to look for it. It would make me happy if you could assist me.”

: “…Rather than search blindly, we should study the shelves and come up with a strategy. First, let’s get an idea of how books are arranged here. Is it by title, or by author…?”

: I like to think that there’s a stack right behind Hifumi with a giant shogi piece sign on it reading “SHOGI STRATEGY GUIDES” in five different languages.

: “Let’s take a good look around the store to fully understand the layout. I’d also like to find a book about shogi problems as well. I’ll explain while we search.”

: “Now then… if we approach this methodically, we’ll find them. I appreciate your assistance.”

[drcakey]

@Timrod

: “Actually, I found one other interesting file when I was cracking into the system. It’s called ‘Project: Escape to Utopia’.

Oh no, Okumura wants to escape climate change by building Martian colonies.

@Timrod

: Girimekhala’s gimmick is that he reflects physical and has a spell called Wage War which targets the entire party and enrages on hit. This means that your party will automatically use a physical attack next turn and die to the reflect.

Wow, wtf? Were they like “Everyone knows Girimekhala repels physical by now, we need to turn it up a notch”? How do you work around it?

Sweatshop is a rad song, but kinda repetitive.

And for those keeping score at home, Persona 5 is still batting a thousand with sexually menacing the female party members.

[Timrod]

@drcakey

Wow, wtf? Were they like “Everyone knows Girimekhala repels physical by now, we need to turn it up a notch”? How do you work around it?

There’s a couple of accessories that null rage, and at this point it’s not as big a deal because of Endure - everyone but Haru and Joker will survive the reflect with 1 HP. The best insurance policy for it is probably to carry around a couple of the magatamas you can buy from Tanaka that deal 150 bless damage on use.

Alternatively, you could switch to the starting weapons for each character (which aren’t sellable so you’ll always have them) and intentionally lower your physical damage so there’s no way the reflect can kill you.

[SpammyV]

I’m going to admit that I’m giggling at how Haru will, with her Persona, fight with beauty and justice and a GODDAMN MOUND OF GUNS AND MISSILES. Also I’m a sucker for dramatic hats with plumes.

Too bad the knowledge that Mothman is elementally weak to Gun can’t help Richard Gere now.

Also it’s a shame you can’t just bluff your way past fighting the robots as they obviously can’t take time away from their duty to handle security matters. Make it all dialog puzzles to find the ones who have the keycards.

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 69

: “It’d spell the end of this country if kids started wanting to become more like the Phantom Thieves. You’re already in your second year of high school. You should have a clear vision of your future.”

: “If you’re looking for safety and stability, a civil servant is a good option. Hey, Kurusu. I bet you think that civil service is all office work… but the fishermen of Nagaragawa are actually civil servants as well. So, tell me which sector they belong to.”

: A bit of context here. Nagaragawa is a river in Gifu City, and the fishermen there used to be (and technically still are) the Emperor’s official fishermen. They use a special method called “ukai” which involves the use of trained cormorants to catch fish - the birds are stopped from swallowing them via snares around their necks.

: The practice has been criticized for being cruel to the birds, and I can see why.

: “Oho… I’m impressed you knew that. Only the cormorant fishermen of Nagaragawa are officially used by the imperial household. Those fishermen are granted spots on the Imperial Household Agency’s Board of Ceremonies.”

: “That said, you can’t break into that industry even if you wanted to since it’s a hereditary occupation. If you want a government job, try for a spot in the Diet - though some may say that’s hereditary too.”

: Just imagine being the person whose parents go “It’s time for you to learn the family trade of using a bunch of angry cormorants to fish and then picking the fish out of their gullets.”

: “I’m honestly fed up with politicians these days. Isn’t there anyone who seriously wants to improve this country?”

: “Oh yeah, they said on the news that the cabinet’s approval rating went down again. They’re the complete opposite of us. Our popularity and approval have been going through the roof.”

: “Oh? I’m the first one here?”

: “Yep, you’ve got 'em all beat.”

: “I see… actually, this may have been a stroke of good luck - there’s something that I want to discuss with you.”

: “Mmhm.”

: “What’s the situation?”

: “I’ve been thinking - I want to be more helpful to the Phantom Thieves. So I came up with a new approach to fighting in hopes of making it a regular strategy in our battles… but I need your help to make it happen, Mona-chan.”

: “Oho! Me, eh? Well, if you need me, then who am I to turn you down?”

: “Thank you!”

: I’m going to have to borrow footage again, because I could not get Haru’s showtime to proc and the next time we’d have a chance isn’t until November.

: In hindsight, I probably should’ve thought of just removing everyone who isn’t Haru or Morgana from the party. Anyway, their Showtime is called “Drive Hard” (a reference to Die Hard) in English and Best Night Kid (a reference to The Karate Kid, which was used for Ann and Yusuke’s Showtime in English instead) in Japanese.

: I think this is also the only Showtime where I like the English name better.

: I am very glad you never really see that facial expression on Haru because it looks like she’s trying to be Tatsuya Sudou.

: It’s hard to see in screenshots, but she’s firing rockets out of her grenade launcher. I was EXTREMELY disappointed that she didn’t attempt to ride the rockets like Dante.

: This Showtime is by far the shortest one, and also probably the least interesting visually. I mean, Morgana’s barely even in it.

: “Haru… sometimes, the stuff you come up with honestly scares me.”

: “Oh… it’s absolutely fine if you don’t want to…”

: “Not another word - I’ll do it! You deserve only the grandest of performances!”

: “…Great! Thank you, Mona-chan! I wonder if the Star will grant us our wish…”

: I have to wonder now if this happens every time someone comes up with a Showtime - did Joker just randomly have his pocket glow during the last couple of these scenes?

: “But she’s new to the team, right? Shouldn’t we do what we did for Yusuke and Makoto?”

: “Ah, you mean the Phantom Thief Basic Training. There’s much we need to teach her.”

: “Please do!”

: The basic training is just watching a bunch of anime.

: “Someone’s excited.”

: “Then again, I already told her about the gist of things. What other stuff should we talk about…?”

: “Oh, about how we defeated my fiance in there… will that have any effect on my father?”

: Something we’ll see in a bit with the boss fight is that the whole “Escape to Utopia” thing is a metaphor for Okumura’s political ambition, and one thing I wondered was why they couldn’t have just brainfucked Haru’s fiance in Mementos or something.

: I mean, it wouldn’t do anything about Haru’s dad being Dessler, but it would effectively stop the marriage, and also probably his political ambitions.

: “Nope. They did something similar in my Palace, but I’m perfectly fine.”

: “I-Is that so…?”

: “That might have just been a coincidence. Usually cognitive people look totally different. The version of me in Kamoshida’s castle was terrible.”

: “Ah, and the version of me at the museum was a painting, not even a person.”

: “Now that you mention it, why isn’t there a cognitive version of me? Is it somewhere in there?”

: This dialog wasn’t changed for Royal, and in the base game, there was no cognitive Haru. In Royal, however…

: “Well, I could imagine a couple of reasons why we haven’t seen it… but I don’t think you’d like them.”

: “…”

: “Come on, don’t think about that stuff. Anyways, if a dude’s cognition can change the scenery or even the people in the Palace…”

: It’s like the writers don’t want you to know that Persona 1 existed.

: “Man, Palaces are super promising! My greatest hopes and dreams might still come true! Well, that’s kinda impossible this time, hehehe… but maybe we should try in the future?”

: I mean, that’s basically what the Thieves Den is.

: sigh “…In any case, if Haru followed that conversation, there’s nothing else we need to teach her.”

: “All right, let’s do this!”

: “We will entrust this to you, Haru.”

: “If he notices the calling card, then yes. Are you afraid of doing this to your own father?”

: “To be honest… a little.”

: “Try to recall your anger. It will guide you in the right direction.”

: “…So we’re carrying out this plan tomorrow?”

: “All right. No stayin’ up late tonight then.”

: We can’t do anything else tonight, so let’s play some games. First though, if you are playing this yourself, SET THE DIFFICULTY TO MERCILESS. Right now. Do it.

: The reason we want to do this is because the upcoming boss fight was re-balanced for Royal, and is pretty broken. It’s actually easier on Merciless than it is on Normal.

: “Something about trying to become the sixth Phoenix Ranger… I don’t know much about the TV series, but this looks like a game you can really sink your teeth into! Let’s become a Phoenix Ranger!”

: “Whoa, they really know how to get you pumped up! Is this… a lab? That person in front of the computer looks like a scientist.”

: “Training, huh… I guess you can’t become a hero if you don’t put in the effort.”

: This game gives you a series of inputs to memorize, and then makes you repeat it with a time limit. There’s a book you can get at some point (I think it might be available now, actually) that makes these easier, and I’m not sure how it affects this game.

: “Oh, the scenery changed. Hmm… is this a waste disposal facility?”

: This is, of course, a blatant reference to Innocent Sin.

: “So this training is preparing us for real combat. All right, let’s get the Abberant!”

: “…This guy’s pretty chipper about being a threat to the planet’s safety, huh?”

: “Here it comes! Get your controller ready!”

: “This is our chance! Wind Punch!”

: “Oh yeah! A big win! Hey, we’re back in the laboratory.”

: “Your success and global fame exists due to the tyranny you rain over your employees. Thus, we have decided to make you confess all your crimes with your own mouth. Hmph.”

: Sae is off in that cafe somewhere screaming “Damn that John Persona! I’m gonna find that John Persona, and when I do…”

: “…I must take care of this before it becomes a problem.”

: “Don’t make me repeat myself. Give it to the police. That’s an order. These scoundrels have threatened me. Aren’t the police supposed to side with law-abiding citizens?”

: I like to think the person on the other end replies: “Uh, sir? The calling card is physically in your hand. I can’t give it to the police if I don’t actually have it.”

: This was pretty much my reaction to the FF7 remake. I tried it just now and I think the combat is boring.

: “This matter is urgent. Take care of it at once.”

: “I need to let everyone know about this…”

: And now, let’s completely break the pacing by having one of Kawakami’s free time events.

: Destiny Land is a location that has not been in a Megami Tensei game since the original Shin Megami Tensei. In SMT 1, it was a location you’d visit a lot because it was the easiest way to adjust your alignment. It was also where you met up with Pascal after the apocalypse.

: Interesting fact I didn’t know about it, there were cut sprites in the SNES version of SMT 1 for an evil Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck.

: “It’s a hugely popular spot that’s great for families and even going on dates… I could never go there myself though. You have to invite someone or it’d just be too lonely.”

: “You should invite someone to go there with you sometime. Oh, don’t go without me!”

: “This is different from normal. He has some nerve, delivering the calling card to the police himself.”

: “Either he’s certain his heart won’t be changed, or he’s colluded with the police from the beginning…”

: “As strange as it is for me to say… I could see that being the case.”

: “They’re just saying whatever they want. At this point all they care about is seeing those in power beg for forgiveness.”

: “Dammit! This isn’t a game!”

: I mean, it kinda is.

: “The means and the ends have been reversed. We’re starting to be seen purely as entertainment…”

: “But we gotta do this! We can’t just drop everything now!”

: “Considering the existence of the Palace, his desires are indeed distorted… in a sense, the earlier we pull the root, the better…”

: “And given the issue concerning Haru’s fiance, we don’t have another choice in the matter…”

: You do though, provided that the fiance exists in Mementos.

: “If we don’t… then everything we been doin’ up until now would just be for nothing!”

: “I believe this is best too. After hearing my father speak… I saw no remorse in him.”

: “Ryuji and Haru are right. Honestly, everything the public is talking about does bother me a little… but Okumura may just be the one behind the mental collapses. We can’t leave this be.”

: “I feel like he’s hiding something. Something big…”

: “True… and we already sent the calling card, after all.”

: I feel like they really could’ve cut down on a lot of this exposition.

: “Is that… the frisbee Skull mentioned before? That’s what they’re making here!?”

: “The SS Utopia!?”

: “Project: Escape to Utopia… so this is what that was about.”

: “Father did say he was going to ascend into the political world…”

: “So even this company is a stepping stone for him… he will discard this place for his ‘utopia’…”

: “Wait up… if he gets outta here, we’re not gonna be able to make him tell us about the shutdowns!”

: “You’re right… we gotta hurry! I think we can go further in now!”

: And now we’ve gone from Final Rush to Metal Harbor.

: Seriously though, this is less Dessler and more Dreamcast-era Robotnik. I’m expecting Joker to pull out a pair of soaps any minute now.

: “There’s no time! We need to hurry!”

: “Over here!”

: We’re now on a 10-minute timer to get up to where Okumura went, and there’s enemies all over these narrow platforms.

: There’s a chest here, but we can get that later without the enemy being in the way.

: “No way! We ain’t got time for that! We gotta plow through 'em!”

: This part is pretty badly signposted, especially if you played the base game. In the base game, you had to go down this hallway and there were three mandatory encounters in it.

: “Are you even thinking!? If we use up all of our energy now, we may as well toss our entire plan!”

: “Hold on, guys! Calm down.”

: If the boss fight was still identical to the base game’s, I would have no problem killing everything in this corridor. However, that’s not the case.

: “Nothing’s blocking our path now - all we need is a way to get over there. Hey, Joker! See any spots you can use your grappling hook on?”

: If we instead run back out and go up to where that chest was, a grappling point mysteriously appears. This isn’t here if you come up here before entering the hallway.

: “Father…”

: “Haru, you were always so agreeable. Whether it was in school or after, you only ever did as I said… you’ve become so admirable…”

: “What’s gotten into him?”

: “Ah yes. Do you remember, Haru? You cried your eyes out when my work kept me from attending your first sports day. It was then that you stopped talking back to me.”

: “Honestly… you had me worried. Still, you stood up against me and became an independent young woman… nothing could make a father happier than seeing that!”

: “You still remember something that happened so long ago? Back then, you poured your heart into making delicious food. You wanted to bring joy to others… why did you change?”

: “F-Forgive me, Haru… but I would never last if my Treasure was stolen! Please don’t do it, I’m begging you!”

: Haru is probably the least genre-savvy person in this game.

: This is so fucking stupid.

: " ‘Overcome failure at any cost, even if it means betraying others’… that is our family motto! The cold reality of kicking people down is part of business! Virtues and sentiment are for losers."

: “What happiness can be found in acting with justice but losing the battle?”

: “What happiness can be found through profit gained by crushing the hearts of others!?”

: “Better that than fail! I’d much rather destroy others than wallow in the misery of debt! Regardless, I shall soon set sail into the political realm.”

: From a writing perspective, making Okumura cartoonishly evil was a mistake. We’ll see why right after the fight’s over.

: “Make your decision, Haru. If you cast them away, I’ll let you join me on this ship. Stay, and you will be incinerated along with this entire base. Now then, what is your choice!?”

: “What about you there? Don’t you want to get out of here alive? Want to board my ship? You’re fighting against the others, are you not?”

: “Hmph. So you were spying on us.”

: “You’ll gain nothing by staying with them… that’s what you believe, isn’t it? You are absolutely right. Sell them out! Cut them off for your own personal gain! I’ll even give you the switch once we take off.”

: What’s kind of funny to me in hindsight about this scene is that Lupin III does something almost identical in Part 5, which didn’t come out until 2018.

: The difference there is that the evil CEO is basically Mark Zuckerberg and has used the power of Facebook (in AI form) to try to entice Goemon to break up with Lupin.

: “So, do we have a deal? I’ll give you ten seconds. Time is money, after all.”

: Like the pizza burger, or a consolized Naomi 2.

: Joker could probably just break out of that field with Mara.

: “Hope you like balls, Okumura, because you’re about to get really close to some of mine!”

: We’re now put on a 30-minute time limit. The timer ticks down constantly, unless you are switching Personas.

: In the base game, this fight consisted of Okumura summoning random robots - he’d always start with a wave of these ones, then would progress to the bigger ones like the Chief Clerk, Section Director, and Chief Director.

: Reason one why this fight sucks. Royal changed it so that Okumura will direct his robots to attack a single target. He has lines for every character:

: “The obnoxious blonde one!” (Ryuji)

: “The slutty-looking woman in red!” (Ann)

: “That…bizarre, black-and-white thing!” (Morgana)

: “The barbaric, dark-haired woman!” (Makoto)

: “The oddball with the fox mask!” (Yusuke)

: “The pompous man in the black coat!” (Joker)

: Even if you knock all the enemies down, you do not get an All-Out, presumably because Okumura is still… sitting.

: Reason two this fight sucks in Royal: it adds a Gamilian Haru to the fight.

: “Huh!? M-Me!?”

: “Basically… that’s my father’s cognitive version of me…”

: “Hey guys, don’t let this get to you! Just remember: once we take Okumura down, it’ll all be over. Let’s wrap this up quick!”

: “Even more!?”

: “Happiness based on the sacrifices of others isn’t true happiness…!”

: Oh, right. This part is from an earlier cut where I was playing on Normal. I should also explain why you want do this fight on Merciless.

: I’ve explained this before, but Merciless works by increasing enemy damage by 60% (to 1.6x) and decreasing the damage you do by 35% (it was 15% in the base game).

: However, Merciless also greatly increases the multiplier for critical hits and elemental weakness hits - I think in Normal it’s 2x, whereas in Merciless it’s 3x. Therefore, assuming you’re hitting elemental weaknesses, you’ll actually do more damage than you would otherwise.

: On Merciless, this would have instakilled the robots.

: I really like the visual effect for Psiodyne and Mapsiodyne.

: At this point, Okumura will begin debuffing the party’s defense and buffing the robots.

: One thing I neglected to mention earlier is that the Chief Clerk has a second weakness - that being Nuclear.

: Again, on Merciless, this would’ve been a one hit kill. We’re about to see where this fight starts to suck.

: Another round of buffs and debuffs. Now, in the base game, you have all the time you want to take out the robots - so long as you’re within the time limit, of course.

: My strategy here was pretty simple - have Makoto and Haru remove the robots resistance to Psychic and Nuclear so they can do damage, and then hit them with Panta Rhei and let Makoto and Haru clean up.

: Here’s why this strategy doesn’t work. This is an ability Okumura has called Sacrifice Order.

: Sacrifice Order was an ability Okumura had in the base game, which causes one of the robots to go into a salute. It will then blow up on its next turn, doing damage to the entire party.

: These robots have a shitload of HP, and even after Panta Rhei, a Concentrated Mafreila, and Haru and Ann using Mapsio and Maragion, we can’t take the fuckers down.

: This is from my first take still, so I think I had only actually used Panta Rhei once before determining it didn’t really do enough damage to justify the SP cost.

: The speedrun gets past this part by spamming Cyclone Magatamas, which will hit weakness and still initiate a Baton Pass even though they’re an item.

: Okay, that’s bad, but I can still fix that. These robots are fucking dead on the next turn.

: Wait, what?

: This? This right here is why this fight fucking sucks in Royal. If you don’t kill all four robots (or at least, the three that don’t have Sacrifice Order on them) the remaining robots will run, and Okumura will summon another wave.

: Unlike Madarame’s boss fight, there is no mechanic where you can bypass this - he will continue summoning until you kill them all.

: At this point, the fight is no longer winnable. Time to reset and go to Merciless.

: On Merciless, Panta Rhei goes from doing around 350 damage to instantly killing the robots. You can carry over a baton pass from the last wave and use it on Joker to really boost his damage.

: Oh, right. The reason that Merciless works is that the robots only have physical attacks… and since you’re going to be killing them extremely quickly anyway, they won’t get very many off.

: The intended solution for this, as far as I can tell, is that the game expects that you’ve maxed Hifumi’s confidant by this point and can switch party members freely, so you can start with Morgana and then switch him out later.

: This wave is basically identical to the last one, except the robots are bigger blobs of HP.

: Because they’re weak to Psychic, you want to have Haru use Mapsio and then Baton Pass to Joker, who follows up with Mapsiodyne. This part would probably suck if I didn’t have that.

: This is from my second recording, which was also not successful because of a gamble I took and lost. Okumura manages to put Hunger on everyone but Ann, which I’m just able to recover from.

: The Execurobo is the one part of this fight that kinda sucks on Merciless. It has no weaknesses - it’s completely neutral to everything.

: It also oneshots people. There’s an easy workaround for this - Haru knows Tetrakarn, so she can just put it up on whoever the robot is targeting and reflect its attacks.

: Meanwhile, Baal uses One Shot Kill (you can transfer Charge and Concentrate between Personas) and does over half the robot’s HP in one go. We want to use this instead of Ayamur because One Shot Kill has a high crit chance, and can thus bypass the damage reduction on Merciless.

: From this point onward, Okumura will use Big Bang Order on the robot every turn to give it Charge and Concentrate.

: You’re supposed to guard against it, but what happened was that I figured I could get another charged One Shot Kill off and finish the robot off before it could use it. Instead, One Shot Kill didn’t crit and I was just short on damage.

: By the way, there’s a mechanic here the game never explains where if someone gets hit by Hunger, Big Bang Challenge will fully restore their HP and remove the Hunger effect. The problem is that Harisen Recovery will usually kick in by that point.

: On my third run, I start using Tetrakarn, which does work except that Haru still dies to the first Big Bang Challenge. The Execurobo can also put up a magic barrier - which isn’t a big deal because Ann and Joker are both immune to their own magic.

: Finally, we get a Showtime and kill the fucking thing. In the base game, this was where the fight ended.

: “Is that the last of the minions? Let’s finish him, Joker!”

: The Haru-bot is the final fuck you that Royal throws at you in this fight.

: “I can’t believe this guy! A child isn’t some kinda puppet or tool to be used!”

: As far as I can tell, there’s no way to actually kill the Haru-bot. Like the Execurobo, she’s not weak to anything.

: “No way! Okumura’s even willing to sacrifice his own daughter!?”

: “…Everyone, let’s destroy it before it can self-destruct!”

: “But, Noir… that’s…”

: I mean, this might have some impact if you knew that killing the Haru-bot would fuck Okumura up somehow, but it doesn’t, so it doesn’t.

: “I am no longer my father’s subservient puppet! The real me is standing right here, opposing him!”

: The reason I don’t think it’s possible to kill the Haru-bot is that you have exactly two turns to do it. Even with a One-Shot Kill crit from a Persona that is quite literally double the boss’s level (Okumura is level 43) I don’t think you can do enough damage.

: That’s not to say I didn’t try. Ayamur does a shitload of damage, but it’s just not enough. I don’t think it would’ve been enough even on Normal.

: At this point, Okumura can no longer resist us. He won’t do anything, and one hit from anything will kill him. However, given how shit this fight is, I think there’s only one appropriate way to end this.

: “Somebody’s getting bonerslammed!”

: We don’t even give a shit about levels anymore, except for maybe Futaba so she can recover people’s SP. The only thing we give a shit about is money… which is kind of ironic given that we just fought Mammon.

: “I will contact your fiance and rescind the marriage offer. This may be the end for Okumura Foods…”

: “Father…”

: “You were behind all the breakdowns and mental shutdowns, weren’t you?”

: “I admit, I spent large sums of money to help my company grow, and to crush business competitors…”

: “Answer me, dammit! Did you do it or not!?”

: “Requests!? Then there really is a mysterious criminal in people’s Palaces after all!”

: “So it’s true…”

: “What kind of contract did you form… and with whom?”

: “C’mon, stop cryin’ and tell us!”

: The Palace starts breaking apart, even though we don’t have the Treasure yet.

: “Dammit, why now!? Mr. CEO, can’t you stop that thing!? Oh well… we can’t just throw our lives away like this. Look! Up there!”

: “Huh?”

: “There’s one more thing you need to tell us. Have you seen this criminal’s face before?”

: “We don’t got time to get that outta him!”

: “We’ll just have to inquire about it back in the real world.”

: “Don’t worry, he’ll be fine! We’ll end up dead if we’re not out of here soon though!”

: There’s a silenced gunshot from off-screen, and a small explosion of black… which is really hard to see because Desslermura’s outfit is all black.

: This is kind of a plot hole when you consider that the killer would have needed to be in this room (the blast doors closed after we got in) and have done this in the like, ten seconds between when Haru left and when the palace fully collapsed.

: It’s also not entirely clear where they would’ve been hiding. The gunshot comes from the left, meaning that it’s unlikely the killer was hiding behind the ramp… and the rest of the room is wide open.

: “Probably not… actually, I think it’s impossible!”

: “We’re countin’ on ya, Mona!”

: sigh “We did a great job in there.”

: “You know Morgana, you seemed almost normal when you took the Treasure.”

: “Oh? The truth behind the mental shutdowns remains unsolved though. Okumura wasn’t the culprit. Still, he did mention request people to be eliminated. He has to know who’s responsible.”

: Game, I just saw this in the last scene, there’s really no need to point this out again.

: “Mm…”

: “Mom…”

: Futaba has realized that Haru is now a member of the orphan club.

: I was trying to figure out what this said to see if it was a Yamato reference (it definitely is) and got as far as realizing the orange text says “Galaxy” before realizing it says “Galaxy War Series” in English in the top right under the kanji.

: “His Treasure… was a plastic model kit?”

: “What’s the matter?”

: “I remember Father telling me something before he changed… he said there was a model kit he really wanted back when he was a child. But no matter how much he begged my grandfather, he never got it.”

: So wait, this was one of those Paranoia Agent “girl destroys Japan because she lied about her dog” things?

: “Your family could get like, a thousand of those kits though.”

: “Okumura Foods has been around for generations, but it was a small company until my father took over. My grandfather was a good man, but not the best businessman.”

: “He’d even lend money with no collateral… it seems the debt collectors were a frequent presence when my father was young.”

: “That must be why… why Okumura was so willing to pursue his own happiness at the expense of others.”

: “It is a staggering price. I’ve heard this can happen to collector’s items, but still…”

: Welcome to game collecting. This is why I don’t collect games.

: “People’re gonna pay that much for a plastic toy!?”

: “By the way… when exactly is the change of heart supposed to happen?”

: I mean, given how fast it happened in Innocent Sin, he’s probably already braindead. Though naturally, it’ll take Okumura until the 12th to die.

: “Soon. That’s all we know. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens until then. Once he has his change of heart, we’ll surely be able to find out who’s behind the mental shutdowns.”

: “Okumura was not fit for the political world to begin with. He should have just behaved himself… of course. Without fail, sir. I’ve requested that he handle the matter.”

: “Arrangements have been made. A sudden mental shutdown will occur at just the right time. We’ll dispose of our disappointing connection and the Phantom Thieves at once. Two birds with one stone.”

: This is them trying to explain how Okumura’s shadow dies today but he doesn’t actually die until the end of the arc.

: “I was way too worried about who I am, and how I don’t compare to other members of our group. Turns out I just don’t have any guts, huh?”

: “Come on, I’ve known you long enough. No need to be modest. I think the reason I was so hung up on wanting to be human is because I needed a goal of my own.”

: “Well, not a goal per se, but something bigger… I guess more like… a reason to live. But now that I’m sure I belong with the Phantom Thieves, I know what I want to do. Do you know what it is?”

: “Is it being thirsty for Ann? I bet it’s being thirsty for Ann. Giant dicks know these things.”

: It is absolutely my headcanon that Mara can detect horny people from range, and is thus the perfect partner to Joker.

: “That too, eventually. I’m going to do whatever I can to make sure the Phantom Thieves succeed. In other words, our goals are in alignment.”

: “From now on, I’m not going to hold anything back. You’d better put some effort in too! Don’t make me regret my choice!”

: “Plus… I want Lady Ann to be happy. If my actions can help her achieve happiness, that’s more than enough for me…”

: We should still have enough money to cover new equipment at this point. And now, probably the best Caroline and Justine event.

: “Listen closely: the place we wish to evaluate for your rehabilitation is… an odd feature of the city where slaves attend to the needs of visitors.”

: “Apparently, the slaves in this camp refer to visitors as ‘Master,’ and their behavior can even be controlled to some degree.”

: “I wonder how this compares to our devotion for our own master. This could make a strong example for the Inmate. Does such a location sound familiar to you?”

: “Well? If you know where it is, then escort us there immediately!”

: Yes, we’re about to take two little girls to a maid cafe.

: “What is it that makes a cafe ‘made’? Is it the slaves? I wanna find out!”

: “We shall do just that. Inmate, take us there immediately.”

: “I’m surprised one is operating in the heart of the city like this. I had originally thought such places would need to hide in the shadows, far from public scrutiny.”

: “Are you addressing me? You are sorely mistaken about who is your master…”

: “We’ve come here to observe fully, Justine. Don’t worry, we’ll free her when we’re finished. Hey, you.”

: “Tell me, why are you grinning like that? You’re a slave.”

: “Maybe you’re ordered to smile, but what? Do you lack a will of rebellion? Or are you just naturally submissive?”

: Honestly, I’m just imagining Mara teaching Caroline and Justine what horny is in kids terms.

: “You see kids, horny is that thing the cat does when he gets near Ann. You know, right before Joker hits him with the air horn? Well, a maid cafe is a place for horny people. It’s like a treatment center.”

: “It’s safe to say I’m well beyond disliking it!”

: “Calm yourself, Caroline.”

: This cutscene is about to go from zero to sixty.

: “Watch it! You think laughing at your masters is proper discipline?”

: I wish we had her as a party member instead of Makoto.

: Caroline has taught the maid communism and now it is working too well.

: “A-Ahh…”

: Joker immediately grabs the air horn and the maid grabs it out of his hand and crushes it like it’s a piece of paper.

: This scene is good. This is a really good scene. Where the fuck was this kind of attitude when they went back over Hashino’s script?

: “Wh-What is wrong with her… her mood changes in an instant.”

: Caroline has a Tsundere Scouter in her pocket that just shattered from the sheer amount of tsundere coming off the maid.

: “Such versatility… could she possess the potential for the power of the wild card? Well, never mind that. We are to focus on the matter at hand.”

: “Could this be a form of what some call ‘Russian roulette’ ?”

: “We can’t risk the odds of being poisoned. Let’s order something else.”

: “In that case, let’s go with the Sincere Omelette.”

: Joker just looks at the maid and is like “Please no, not the murder eggs” and the maid just grins. She’s going to murder the SHIT out of those eggs.

: "Don’t even try that fake-cry act on me! Fix it! Double time! I’m not letting you off until it’s right!

: “Uh - hey…”

: “How could you make this poor slave cry like that…”

: “Wha-!? Fine, fine, I’ll say I’m sorry! Look, slav- I mean, maid! I’m sorry! I’ll eat it, I’ll eat it! Just… stop crying!”

: “Fine, just bring whatever…”

: “Even the people being served have to behave a certain way… I struggle to comprehend why it’s so complicated.”

: “And yet, people here are willing to pay good money to participate in this master-servant charade… the lengths that humans will go to hold positions of power… their desires truly appear to be limitless.”

: “Anyway, we hereby deem your assignment complete.”

: “Here is your reward.”

: “I feel as though we saw a side of humanity today that was new to us. As a matter of fact… this isn’t a new event to us at this point.”

: “We do seem to witness curious new facets of humanity with each special assignment we undertake. Most intriguing indeed…”

: I forgot there was one of those “Congrats, you progressed the plot” cutscenes and my first thought was this was going to be a scene where Igor learns that you’ve taken the twins to the maid cafe and just goes “You took them WHERE!?”

: “Contrary to our assumptions, it seems you have turned out to be quite promising…”

: “Your powers continue to grow, as do the relationships you hold with your contractors. It seems the rehabilitation is proceeding at a fine rate.”

: “Allow me to warn you on one matter. Being at the peak may mean you are mere moments from your downfall. Unexpected situations are necessary in a ‘game,’ after all.”

: Translation - Hashino is using the standard Hollywood writing format where there needs to be a low point for the protagonist right before the ending. And now, a re-used cutscene.

: “Th-that dream again… what the hell? I-I’m human… I have to be… I… there’s no way I was born like that…”

: “H-Hmph. I won’t let myself get worked up over some dream… I’m sure everything will be clear if we can get to the depths of Mementos…”

: Next time, we’ll do a bunch of confidant events and then get ambushed by a new cutscene proving that Kasumi is indeed Atlus’s Lightning, possibly even moreso than Marie was.

: I’m going to put a poll here just because I want to know people’s opinions. Do you think that when the maid at the maid cafe makes the eggs in full-on tsundere mode, they’re:

• More fucked up
• Less fucked up
• About the same degree of fucked up

[drcakey]

@Timrod

: I’m gonna put a poll here because I want to know people’s opinions. Let’s say she makes the eggs in crazy tsundere mode. Are they:

[poll type=regular results=always chartType=bar]

• More fucked up
• Less fucked up
• About the same degree of fucked up

[/ [poll ]

The poll is broken. My understanding of cliches is telling me to vote More fucked up, but my heart is telling me to vote Less fucked up.

@Timrod

: “Try to recall your anger. It will guide you in the right direction.”

Didn’t predict Yusuke would be the one to go full Dark Side.

@Timrod

: Destiny Land is a location that has not been in a Megami Tensei game since the original Shin Megami Tensei. In SMT 1, it was a location you’d visit a lot because it was the easiest way to adjust your alignment. It was also where you met up with Pascal after the apocalypse.

It also shows up in Digital Devil Saga, though it’s called Coordinate 136 instead because Digital Devil Saga is, uh…Digital Devil Saga. A statue of Tinkerbell tells you to do a bunch of dumb puzzles.

@Robotic Voice

All personnel is advised to evacuate immediately to a safe area of the facility.

There’s a typo. I’m a little surprised this got through – ‘personnel’ is always plural.

[Timrod]

@drcakey

The poll is broken. My understanding of cliches is telling me to vote More fucked up, but my heart is telling me to vote Less fucked up.

Thanks for letting me know, I forgot it had to go outside the collapse box.

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 70

: This entire thing is to set up a cutscene on 10/3.

: October is going to be a month of nothing but confidants and cutscenes, because the next dungeon doesn’t open up until November.

: “I’m starving… but the hunger doesn’t really bother me when I’m playing.”

: “What!? Are you sure? Okay, today’s training will be a ‘lecture’. If you pay for my meal, I’ll let you have the course for free.”

: “I get my meal, and you get your training, so we’re both happy. Now, stop wasting time and take me some place to eat!”

: I looked up how long of a train ride it is from Akihabara to Shibuya, and it’s like 20 minutes. You’d think they could find somewhere local to eat.

: “They attack me in large numbers, so I can’t let my guard down. All they did today was throw eraser crumbs into my lunch, though, so I won that round.”

: “… It’s a war. I’m on the defensive right now, but I’m looking for a chance to counterattack. I could finish them in a second if I put my mind to it. It’s just that… now’s not the right time.”

: “It gets kind of annoying having to watch my back all the time, though… maybe I can ask the Phantom Thieves to take care of them…”

: Ooh, can we do that? I wanna traumatize some children! I mean, maybe not traumatize for life, but just enough, you know?

: “What a joke… once you lose, it’s over. That’s what my mom told me. My mom’s fighting with the school… about how classes are taught, the way teachers treat students, the size of the classes…”

: Joker’s like “So, a soccer mom.” and Shinya goes “Wait… what’s soccer? Is that in arcades?”

: “Since the divorce, my mom’s been taking care of me all by herself. She says it’s exhausting. She leaves really early to go to work. Then she comes home really late to take care of me.”

: “It’s no wonder she demands so much from the school, you know? But all of my classmates make fun of her and call her a complainer… when I tell them to stop, they call me a momma’s boy. That’s how the war started.”

: “My mom gets made fun of because I’m weak! That’s why I gotta get stronger!”

: This is the ‘correct’ answer, which seems kinda fucked up given that it’s like blaming him for being bullied.

: “Well, the Phantom Thieves would laugh at me if I lost now. But I’ve got a long way to go… Oh, before I forget, I need to show you something… don’t tell anyone else about this, okay? But I’m going to show you a guaranteed way to win!”

: “…I wish I could be a member of the Phantom Thieves and help them defeat the bad guys in the world. Oh, it’s kinda late. I guess I should go home…”

: I’m actually kind of surprised they didn’t put Shinya in as a party member, ala Ken in Persona 3. Have him be an SMT-style devil buster who uses guns and doesn’t have a Persona.

: “We just talked a bunch about me today, so you gotta tell me more about the Phantom Thieves next time. Maybe we can go eat something again while we’re at it?”

: Shinya is a lot like a little cousin of mine who got his first taste of fast food, realized his parents could buy fast food anytime they wanted, and from then on would demand it every day.

: “Really!? Thanks, Kurusu-san! Now that I think about it, it’s been a while since I went out to eat with anyone but my mom. Okay, let’s go get some hamburger steak next time. It’s my favorite food!”

: “…Come to think of it, mom hasn’t made hamburger steak in a while either… but she seems super busy, so… not much I can do, I guess.”

: “Wonder if she’s coming home late again tonight… okay, bye, Kurusu-san. I’ll see you at the arcade.”

: “Looks like this Okumura case is finally going to have a happy ending. All that we have to do now is wait for his change of heart.”

: Come to think of it, you know what would’ve been a much better way to write this part? Have it so that Okumura doesn’t have his shadow killed until the end of the arc.

: Come up with some bullshit excuse for him to still be killable in the Metaverse after his palace is gone, or better, just have the killer shoot him in reality.

: I didn’t have a Hanged Persona handy, and at this point I left going “You know what, I might as well fuse something worthwhile.” That plan kinda backfired, but I’ll show off the fusions anyway because one of them is an ingredient for Lucifer.

New Persona: Ananta

Origin: Hinduism

First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei I

Also known as Shesha. Massive serpent with somewhere between five and a thousand heads who holds the universe in his hoods. Vishnu uses him as a bed. Once ate the Hindu wind god and stopped everything from breathing until Vishnu forced him to stop. Destroys the universe at the end of each Kalpa.

: Ananta is a garbage Persona, plain and simple. Sure, it learns Freidyne and Nuke Boost… but we already have sources of both of those and don’t really have a reason to use it when we have Mara and Baal.

: I fused the Ananta out of the Decarabia we have and a Regent, though I could have used Koh-i-noor instead.

New Persona: Moloch

Origin: Christian Fanfiction

First Appearance: Megami Tensei I

Like Baal, Moloch probably isn’t an actual entity. The academic understanding is that the name “Moloch” comes from Roman texts discussing a concept called “mlk” that was supposedly practiced by the Mesopotamians in which they sacrificed their children to their gods.

This was later picked up by the authors of the Old Testament (specifically Leviticus), who took a bunch of existing Mesopotamian gods (including Hadad, aka Baal) and slapped the child sacrifice thing on them, then rolled that into a single demonic entity called “Moloch”, to which the people of Mesopotamia sacrificed their children by burning them alive.

The bull-headed demon comes from a medieval understanding of what Moloch was, and was possibly influenced by the Minotaur.

In reality, there is no evidence that the people of Mesopotamia sacrificed their children or burned anyone alive. None of the gods that Moloch is believed to be bastardized from were associated with human sacrifice, and it appears to be a misunderstanding (either intentional or otherwise) by the Romans and early Abrahamic people that wrote the Bible as to what the religions of the various peoples of Mesopotamia was.

: You might remember Moloch from the very beginning of the game. I wound up fusing him because he learns Fire Amp, but then I realized that it wasn’t worth spending most of our remaining funds on.

: I was also very surprised to see how many sources the wiki links to about Moloch, and I have to agree that the concept of people sacrificing their children by burning them alive seems a little far-fetched.

: “Now, go. I gotta take care of some business with Tsuda. I’ll be there after I handle that. See ya soon.”

: Wait, what? His parents were never in a car crash. In fact, I don’t recall that the confidant ever explains why he has a neck scar. I wonder if the writers forgot or something.

: “…Yo, sorry for the holdup. You two look like you’re havin’ fun. What’ve you been talkin’ about?”

: “Well aren’t you two a little pair of ladykillers? Guess there’re worse things you could be talkin’ about though. Wait… did you get a girlfriend, Kaoru?”

: “Anyways, I can’t stay long. I’ve got errands I need to take care of. Figured it’d be nicer to at least drop by instead of tell you over the phone.”

: “What’s that s’posed to mean? It’s just work stuff. Ain’t that right?”

: I’m pretty sure that second option is a holdout from an earlier draft of the plot. I think I mentioned this earlier, but at one point during development, the devs had planned to re-introduce ‘breaking’ a confidant, something that hadn’t been seen since Persona 3.

: Breaking a confidant would be a permafuck: you lose all the benefits you had and can no longer finish it. They probably got rid of this because it would be awkward to be able to break Iwai’s confidant and then continue selling shit to him.

: “Hey, that’s not a bad idea. Order anythin’ you want. It’s on me!”

: “By the way, I’m almost done figurin’ out what happened with that deal we were talkin’ about. I’m goin’ now to meet with the guy who set it all up. I’ll have to fill you in on the details some other time.”

: “Anyways, this is all thanks to you, kid. It’s real nice havin’ a reliable part-timer to help 'round the shop.”

: “Dangerous? 'Course not. Well, I’m outta here. You can hang onto my wallet, Kaoru. Eat as much as you want.”

: “With you coverin’ for me, I actually got some good business done, too. Looked like you and Kaoru really hit it off. Glad to see you two get along.”

: “That was kinda what I was hopin’ when I asked you to handle this. To be honest, though, things went even better than I expected. Hah, well. I figured I was just getting some security, but I guess that’s not all you’re good for.”

: “He’s hittin’ that age where he has to figure out a lot. Some of which I’m sure he won’t talk to me about. I’m kinda hopin’ you can help him through that kinda thing.”

: Today, we’re going to make a minor schedule digression. I had planned to do the Yoshida event we skipped on 09/25 on 10/10, but I don’t trust this guide anymore. There’s an optional event with Futaba today that I’ll show off, but that I’m going to skip and do Yoshida instead.

: Normally I would have recorded to 10/10 to fact check, but there is a VERY long cutscene on 10/03 and I don’t want to go through it again.

: Today, we have Yusuke’s Rank 8. We’ll be seeing his Rank 9 Romance scene about two updates from now, and of course we’ll be doing his Rank 10 scene at the same time.

: “That reminds me, I would like to speak with you and the others. Do you have some free time today? I would like other opinions as well. I shall send out an invite and see who has time to meet. I wish to do so at Leblanc, if that is all right with you.”

: “Boss was even kind enough to serve us coffee before he went shopping… now, I have a vital request.”

: “Hit me with your best shot! All the tough problems’re gonna have to go to Akira, though.”

: “Hmm, I can help with any subject that’s not math.”

: “Hm? Do you two honestly believe I would ask you here for help in my studies? The truth is, I am planning to display my work in a competition.”

: “The one organized by Kawanabe of the Japanese Art Support Foundation. You remember, yes Akira? I must win and prove not only my ability, but my intense passion for art as well.”

: “However… I am having quite a bit of trouble determining what my next subject should be. I have given this painting a fair amount of thought, but nothing has come to me yet. Hence… I was hoping to hear your opinions on an ideal subject.”

: This game is unrealistic because you know there’d be one person who doesn’t immediately change into their fall outfit on 10/01.

: “Anyway, maybe you should paint something people find pretty.”

: Joker chimes in, “I’m something people find pretty.”

: “Hm… so in the end, we return to the concept of beauty. Akira, what subject do you think would most capture beauty?”

: This answer is, of course, non-canon.

: “Hm… I suppose she is a subject I put great focus on in the past. But now I am aware of her true personality… I am not sure I could paint her beautifully.”

: “Haha, that’s right! …Wait, what’s that supposed to mean!?”

: Owned.

: sigh “Why can I not paint a beauty as pure as the Sayuri? Where have all of my efforts gone?”

: “You know, I’m not really sure what you mean by pure beauty. I mean yeah, it’s a pretty painting. But… I’m not sure I really consider it a pure beauty or whatever.”

: “Hm…?”

: “I dunno, I guess it just feels more gentle to me. Honestly, I almost cried the first time I saw the Sayuri. It felt kinda like I was a baby again in my mother’s arms. Watching over me, telling me everything’s gonna be okay… that was the gentleness that painting made me feel.”

: “…This is coming from someone with absolutely no art knowledge though!”

: “Gentleness? That is yet another aspect the Sayuri captured that I cannot… is my heart too clouded?”

: “It ain’t cloudy, dude.”

: Maybe what he needs… is a boyfriend.

: “But, now? What now!? I have become overwhelmed with a need to prove myself to Kawanabe… to prove myself to the world. I looked down on Madarame for focusing so sharply on fame and money, yet I too yearn for the praise of others!”

: “In truth, oftentimes I regret declining Kawanabe’s offer…”

: “What? My ugliness has… helped me grow?”

: “Akira’s right, dude. Ain’t nothing wrong about doin’ your best to make a livin’.”

: “And you just want someone to acknowledge your work, right? That’s some serious passion.”

: “But… how can passion be born from these repulsive thoughts?”

: You have to say the heart, the heart isn’t silent. He’s like Kira*Miki from VA-11 Hall-A.

: “But y’know, even through all that… I was tryin’ to help my team out. Sure it’s a solo sport, but nobody’s gonna run 'til they puke if they don’t got teammates they wanna inspire.”

: “I guess what I really wanna say is, you gotta do stuff for people beyond just yourself if you wanna succeed.”

: I mean, my goal with this LP was to stop people playing through a 100+ hour JRPG a second time just to see a bunch of extra cutscenes.

: “Hm… is that how it is? …So the sincere gentleness held within the ‘Sayuri’… the warmth of its heart… it was all for the sake of those who gaze upon it? How interesting…”

: “I have been a fool! Beauty is not the superficial thing I have long thought it to be! It is something that wells up within the heart until it breaks free!”

: Uh-oh. Could this mean he’s planning on confessing to Joker? I think it might…

: “It is a gift, given by a subject unto its viewer! Yes, I finally see the truth! The three of you have my sincerest gratitude! You have been a truly tremendous aid!”

: “…How exactly?”

: Yusuke now has most of his abilities, which is why we’ll be ditching someone (probably Haru) for him next dungeon.

: “He looked pretty inspired though, so he’ll be fine… right? Anyway, are you guys hungry? I might ask Boss to make me something once he gets back. Hm, maybe curry this time.”

: I like to think that Sojiro is walking down an aisle in a supermarket with Futaba texting him every five seconds asking for curry, and he’s like “I swear, if one more fucking person asks me for curry today…”

: “God, you eat so freakin’ much… oh yeah, and what was that crap about being good at everything 'cept math? It ain’t nice to lie, y’know.”

: “I get why Haru is worried… but let’s just wait for the change of heart to go through. Don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll be just like it always is.”

: “I guess it’s somewhat educational with all the science mumbo jumbo…”

: We get a whole shitload of knowledge points we can’t do anything with.

: “Y’know, sci-fi’s more than just some crazy made-up baloney. It’s like… a dream that might end up coming true one day. I guess it’s almost like hope! You get me?”

: I get that you’re a couple words off the lyrics to Weight of the World.

: “Nice, you’ve got potential! In any case, thanks for chilling! Um… this was way more fun than all those times I’ve seen it alone. I know! Maybe we can have a foreign sci-fi marathon in your room someday! Better look forward to it!”

: Hell no! I’m not Netflix and chilling with you, you horrible anime gremlin!

: The good news is, I checked afterward and as it turns out we had enough points for Futaba’s next confidant rank without doing this.

: Should the guide be correct and 10/10 is open for Yoshida, we will use that time to be ahead of schedule and under budget and do his Rank 10 early, as he has no optional events.

: “Stamina is important for public speaking as well. You’re still young, but take care of yourself. I’ll be giving a speech again today. I’d also like you to come with me somewhere after the speech. What’s your availability like today?”

: “Actually, Dietman Matsushita asked me to meet after this. You remember how he asked me to become his right-hand man? Well, he likely wants my answer… I’ll need you to come with me after the speech.”

: “You have your ears to the ground, huh? And to think that he’s the candidate the party is backing to ruin my chances of winning…”

: “…”

: “What did you say!?”

: You’d think this would be the point where we’d need to do a Mementos request, but you’d be wrong. Yoshida doesn’t have one.

: “But why…?”

: “It sounds as if you’re saying that this is my opportunity to clear my name… and so you need an answer from me on whether or not I’ll be your right-hand man, yes?”

: “Join with Matsushita and take my revenge against Mr. Kuramoto, but drop out of the election…”

: “I see… so that’s how you truly feel about this… Matsushita. I appreciate the offer, but I must refuse.”

: “My goal is to become a member of the Diet, not a right-hand man. I will not cast aside my beliefs. On that I stand firm.”

: “I’m sorry.”

: “Why are you doing this?”

: “It feels like I’m caught in the crossfire of a political conspiracy. My friend is trying to take advantage of me, while my former mentor is trying to win me over. To achieve my dream, I have to set aside my beliefs. What should I do?”

: “Indeed, this would all be futile if I don’t become a Diet member. I must focus on getting elected. However, betraying oneself to reach a goal would be a hollow victory indeed.”

: “For some reason, just talking with you always helps me make up my mind. It’s as if my heart is being manipulated. Perhaps… if the Phantom Thieves truly do exist, then I’m sure they’re very much like you.”

: “For some reason, you stood by me, No-Good Tora, who didn’t have any supporters. I’ve been thinking about this for a while, actually. You must’ve experienced cruelty and injustice in your life. I can tell by the look in your eyes.”

: “That’s why I sense your desire to help the weak. And the strength to stand up to the hecklers, to Matsushita, and to Kuramoto’s grandson. You’re no ordinary high school student. Even I know that much.”

: This scene makes it obvious, and they re-state this in his Rank 10 scene, but Yoshida has known the entire time that Joker was the leader of John Persona… which makes him the only person to do so without having it spelled out in the form of a Mementos request suddenly getting solved.

: “…Haha, sorry. I crossed the line there. I’ve always lacked restraint in these situations… See what I did there? I relieved the tension by making fun of myself. Think of it as an advanced technique for winning people over.”

: This works just like the Greatest Weapon or the similar skill for items - you occasionally get red text over the “Lend me your power” option and then it skips the negotiation entirely.

: “All right then. Well, I’ll at least make good use of Matsushita’s help setting up my next speech. I feel like I’ll be able to fully express my beliefs if you’re there with me. We can discuss it again at the speech.”

: “I told you before… becoming a Diet member shouldn’t be your only goal in life. I still stand by those words, of course, but what are your thoughts on what happened today?”

: “Say you were in my shoes. Could you say with all confidence that you wouldn’t be swayed by such a lucrative deal? Humans are easily swayed. One glimpse of a temptation could be all it takes to make us forget our principles.”

: “That is why you must never forget what’s truly important to you… you understand?”

: “Good. Life is full of tough decisions. I can only hope today’s lesson will nourish your growth. …Well, the real battle begins now. I need to devote myself to this fully. After all, I can hardly afford to disappoint you.”

: This part I seriously don’t understand. You’d think that it’d be something like, say, Kasumi having a scholarship for being a gymnast and then being in danger of losing it, but as far as I can tell that’s not the case here.

: “I’ve been told that her results at the latest meet were quite laudable… isn’t revoking her status as an honor student a bit of an overreaction on the school’s part?”

: I feel like this whole thing was just kind of badly translated. Being an honor student typically isn’t something associated with sports, unless this is some kind of scandal where they’re giving her honor status because she’s on the gymnastics team.

: Edit: Yeah, it was. After I posted this, poop_doctor on Twitter told me that the term they use in Japanese is equivalent to the English word for “scholarship”. Why they didn’t just use that word is beyond me.

: So then why does it even matter? If she’s not on some kind of scholarship, and the only difference is that the school might try to fuck her out of honor roll status… who cares?

: “Sir, putting excessive pressure on Yoshizawa-san will only be to her detriment.”

: “Supporting her… I see.”

: “…”

: “What’s wrong with Yoshizawa? Didn’t she seem off to you?”

: “Yoshizawa must’ve dropped it.”

: “…Shoot, she’s gone. Let’s return it after school. We should at least send her a text so she knows where it is.”

: “Trying to motivate her with harsh words is only going to give her more anxiety.”

: “Sir!”

: “Stealing hearts? Social reform? Don’t give me this Phantom Thieves nonsense. It’s all so unscientific. I mean, how could they target Big Bang Burger and Okumura Foods? They’re criminals!”

: I can’t believe I put Hiruta on the “Most likely to be Lucifer in disguise” list when he’s a corporate fanboy.

: “That artificially consummate flavor… enough volume to fill a small universe… are the Phantom Thieves trying to steal the galaxy of junk food from me!? That said… Kurusu-kun.”

: “Perhaps you think you understand how vast the universe is, full of countless galaxies, but consider this… if we use ‘three watermelons in the sun’ to visualize a certain matter’s size against the universe’s, what are the melons?”

: “Hah. I expected as much from you. It’s meant to convey the density of stars in the vastness of space. Three bees in the whole of Europe also works. In other words, the universe is essentially empty.”

: “There are countless stars in the sky, but the universe is even more vast than that. Even within our own galaxy, the stars are separated by a great distance, despite the sheer volume of them visible.”

: “Close, but yet far… hehe, you could say the same of our hearts.”

: “Ugh, if only he knew the places we’ve been…”

: This scene is voiced, and they put a very heavy static filter over Kasumi.

: “I’m sorry, I just now noticed that you tried to reach me. My smartphone seems to be acting up again. You found my good luck charm, right?”

: The Japanese VO clearly says “omamori” instead of “good luck charm”.

: “Odaiba, in front of the stadium… where we met before.”

: “She’s at the stadium?”

: “Kurusu-senpai? Sorry, I can’t hear you-”

: “I guess her signal cut out. I couldn’t hear everything, but it seems like she’s at the stadium. She seemed to be acting unusually this morning, too. Do you think something happened?”

: “Like the last time we met her there? It’s possible. Well, let’s see how she’s doing when we drop off her good luck charm. To Odaiba, right?”

: “I do nothing but cause trouble for Kurusu-senpai, even Dr. Maruki… I’m supposed to be THE ‘Kasumi Yoshizawa’…”

: How do they not notice the sign on the wall advertising the rhythmic gymnastics championship?

: “It’s not a lab, it’s a stadium.”

: Let’s see… we can see that Kasumi is into hockey (unless that’s meant to be a copyright-friendly version of NHK) and has a piano app.

: She’s also using the Weather Channel app, which is probably okay because she’s in Japan, but if you’re in the US you should definitely use Weather.gov instead because your tax dollars are paying for it and that’s where the Weather Channel gets most of their data from anyway.

: Isn’t this a plot hole? She didn’t say anything… or did she? If you go back and look, it should be extremely obvious what the key words for this palace are and who it belongs to.

: I think it was kind of a mistake on Atlus’s part to do this so early.

: “This atmosphere… is this a Palace!? But, we never activated the Nav… wait, do you think it was Yoshizawa!?”

: Hint 1: Joker and Morgana didn’t activate the Nav. Therefore, someone else must have. We also know that the Nav needs a name, a place, and a distortion.

: “It’s a possibility. She wasn’t anywhere near us when we slipped into this Palace… she can’t fight like we do. We have to find her, fast!”

: This place has a theme, but I can’t post it yet. It’s called “Gentle Madman”, but all of the uploads of it on YouTube have spoilers in the comments for something that isn’t as obvious as who this palace belongs to.

: For the record, I’m not going to spell out who this palace belongs to directly, but I will give you all the tools you need to go back and figure it out yourself.

: There’s a lot of couches and doves flying around. They’re kind of hard to get a good shot of.

: Hint 2: This palace is owned by someone who clearly has an interest in the human mind. I wonder who that could be?

: There’s a lot of grappling here, and the Batman Vision menu isn’t going to give away who the boss is. Still, that figure looks… male, doesn’t it?

: Personally, I’m not a huge fan of this palace, because it feels like a Nocturne dungeon.

: “Was that Yoshizawa!?”

: “Yeah, stay on guard though!”

: “Who’s that? Is she a cognitive being?”

: “It’s my fault…”

: “C’mon!”

: “You must… Kasumi…”

: I’m kind of tempted to just cut right to January - not that I’ve recorded that far yet.

: Hint 3: The palace owner must know Kasumi in some way.

: That’s a Byakhee. They’re servants of Hastur in the Cthulhu mythos… which is strange because most of those died off by the end of Innocent Sin.

: “Are you all right, Yoshizawa!?”

: “That voice - Kurusu-senpai?”

: “Hmph! Looks like that thing’s ready to rumble.”

: “What are you talking about?”

: There’s a bunch of voices that start talking in the background - some male, some female. Atlus had to re-do this part with different voiceovers because it was a dead giveaway as to the palace owner’s identity.

: “I’ve had enough of this…”

: “Yoshizawa!?”

: “You’re telling me I’m not cutting it? As if I don’t know that better than anyone! Still… I don’t care what anyone says about me…”

: If it wasn’t clear enough that Kasumi is Atlus’s Lightning, she gets a fucking magical girl transformation sequence.

: Joker and Morgana are both going “This isn’t fucking fair!”. Joker then goes “Yusuke should’ve been a magical boy!” while Morgana goes “Joker should’ve been a magical boy… in a dress!” right over him.

New Persona: Cendrillon

Origin: Modern Fiction

Persona 5 Original

French adaptation of Cinderella by Charles Perrault, which introduced elements like the glass slippers, the pumpkin carriage, and the fairy godmother that were later eaten by Disney.

: Now, if I was writing this, there would be a point right here where Joker starts hearing this odd, distant voice telling him to stab this thing to death.

: Kasumi is to Bless what Haru is to Psychic - she’s a Bless/Physical hybrid. Her skill set changes dramatically when we actually get to use her.

: I was still on Merciless when I did this fight and didn’t realize until about halfway through.

: Byakhee is very fire-based, and because we’re on Merciless takes off over half of Kasumi’s HP in one go.

: “Hey, are you all right?”

: “I can’t… be weak anymore…”

: “Whoa! I’m quite impressed, considering how you just awakened to your Persona and all.”

: “Kurusu-senpai… right?”

: “…I knew it. By the way…”

: “Well, of course. This has to be awfully confusing for her.”

: “…Looks like they’ve found us. Time to get out of here, quick. We can explain later.”

: “Right!”

: “Huh? My clothes changed back to normal, too.”

: “This was your location when we entered the Metaverse. We all just came back.”

: “Came… back? Did we go somewhere?”

: “Uh, about that…”

: “Please, tell me anything you might know about what’s going on. I need to know what just happened to me.”

: I somehow refuse to believe that there’s a single high school girl who would not know what a magical girl transformation is.

: “I know how you feel, but… what should we do, Akira?”

: “Yeah, you’re right. Okay, I’ll tell you everything from the beginning.”

: “Thank you.”

: Did… did the game just do a cut instead of re-explaining shit we already know? Who knew the writers could learn something?

: “I’m sure it’s not easy to wrap your head around all of this in one go.”

: “Normally I wouldn’t believe any of that, but after seeing it all for myself… but, wow! You’re so good at explaining things, Mr. Kitty.”

: “I’ll let that last part slide this time… but isn’t there something else that should be surprising you?”

: “And, I am NOT a cat! I am Morgana!”

: “…I see. Well, since you seem to know a lot more about this than I do, maybe I should call you Morgana-senpai.”

: Joker in the background waving his arms and mouthing “Don’t encourage him!”

: “Oh, that’s right - Akira, don’t you have something for her?”

: “You didn’t seem your usual self this morning. Did something happen?”

: “Well… I didn’t get a chance to tell you yet, but… I got third place in the last meet. Of course I’m not happy about it, but the school looks even more displeased.”

: “I was summoned to the guidance office this morning. I was warned that the school might revoke my honors status if I don’t improve my results soon. It would be due to my own inability to succeed in gymnastics, so I have to say, it’s not an unfair consequence…”

: “But I also overheard the vice principal talking about how I’m a useless waste of effort… and I dragged Dr. Maruki into this mess too, since he was with me when I got the news. That’s what really got to me.”

: “That’s a tough break.”

: “So I ended up coming here - then, all of a sudden, I was in that place we just left. But I’ll be just fine now. I feel like whatever happened in there helped me to get over it. I’m going to realize my dream for sure!”

: “Seems like you really are on the up and up now. …But then again, how did Yoshizawa end up finding a Palace in the first place? It sounds like pure coincidence, based on what she’s told us.”

: Hint 5: The writers for Royal kind of forgot how the app worked.

: “The Nav?”

: “Well, I suppose that makes the most sense. Hey, do you mind if we take a quick look at your phone? If the Nav’s on there, we’d be able to tell whose palace that was with the search history.”

: It’s not clear why they couldn’t look at Joker’s phone, since the earlier dungeons have popped up on the entire party’s phones.

: “Sure, it’s right - sorry… this won’t do any good.”

: “Why’s that?”

: “The battery’s dead. It’s been acting up for a while now, so that could have something to do with it.”

: “Aw, really? Shouldn’t you get that checked out? Well, it’s not like that was a Palace we’ve been after, so I guess it’s no big deal. We couldn’t make its ruler our target unless we reached a unanimous decision, anyway.”

: I really wish there was an option here to just skip November and December and go right in with what you’ve got. Mara and Baal could probably take most of what’s in there.

: “Okay, I’ve been meaning to ask… are you two part of the Phantom Thieves?”

: “I knew it… wait, that means… when we were at the cafe with Akechi-san… I basically told the Phantom Thieves themselves that I don’t agree with what they’re doing! Um… I’m really sorry.”

: “Don’t worry about it. With that out of the way… what’s your call, Akira?”

: “That’s right! Considering how she did back there, don’t you think she’d make a worthy addition to the Phantom Thieves?”

: Nah. I’ll probably toss her in the same trash can as Marie when I get her.

: “So, you mean you want me to join the Phantom Thieves?”

: “In a nutshell, yeah. You’ve awakened to your Persona, you’re aware of the existence of Palaces… and, from the looks of things, you’ve got quite the potential. If you’re willing to join us, we’d be glad to have you.”

: This is another reason I don’t understand why this cutscene exists. We know she doesn’t join until after the final dungeon of the base game because Atlus was too cheap to re-do a couple of low-quality anime cutscenes. Seriously, you’d think after two full-priced games they could hire an anime studio with fewer quality control issues.

: “I see… hmm.”

: “You don’t have to give us an answer right now. I mean, you probably shouldn’t make any decisions until you learn more about what it is we’re actually doing.”

: So here’s what I’d like to ask. What was the point of this cutscene? We already know Kasumi has a Persona, and as far as I can tell all this really did was reveal who that palace belongs to if you put any kind of thought into it.

: “When I awakened to my… Persona, was it? I also realized something… I can’t keep obsessing over my shortcomings in gymnastics like this. So, that’s why I can’t join you at the moment…”

: “Because you need to focus on your gymnastics.”

: Kasumi died on her way back to gymnastics.

: “I’m truly sorry to say no after all you’ve done for me!”

: “You may be right… but I think I’d only cause you all more trouble if I were to join up without being totally invested in it. Of course, I won’t say a word about this to anyone.”

: “I’m glad you catch on so quickly. Well, if you ever change your mind about us, just let us know, okay?”

: “Thank you, Morgana-senpai. If that ever happens, I’ll get in touch right away!”

: God I hate this entire cutscene. It makes Kasumi feel even more shoehorned in. It makes me question what the fuck the writers for Royal were thinking.

: I mean, I think I sort of know what they were thinking.

: “Yes!”

: “I should extend the same gratitude to you as well, Kurusu-senpai. I swear, one day I will repay you for helping me out in so many ways. Shall we get going?”

: “Quite a lot’s happened today, but I have a feeling I’ll try harder than ever before starting tomorrow!”

: “We ended up saving her, but I don’t think she owes us or anything… that said, she’d definitely be a huge help if she joined us.”

: “If only Yoshizawa would join the Phantom Thieves… what a shame.”

: Dammit Morgana, only JC Denton can say that.

: “Yeah, we shouldn’t press the matter. Sooo, how’re we gonna break it to the others?”

: Next time, we’ll do Makoto’s Rank 9 (and, unfortunately, her Rank 10). We’ll also watch Mishima get owned and see a Sojiro event early because of that fuckup with Hifumi’s Rank 10.

[drcakey]

@Timrod

: Come to think of it, you know what would’ve been a much better way to write this part? Have it so that Okumura doesn’t have his shadow killed until the end of the arc.

: Come up with some bullshit excuse for him to still be killable in the Metaverse after his palace is gone, or better, just have the killer shoot him in reality.

Or just have him die immediately. The only reason stealing the Treasure has a delayed effect is so your schedule is consistent, right? Which is kind of a dumb reason to begin with…

@Timrod

: “… if we use ‘three watermelons in the sun’ to visualize a certain matter’s size against the universe’s, what are the melons?”

F-minus-minus sentence. See me after class.

@Timrod

That Morgana face would be a high-tier avatar. Though my own brand is firmly entrenched.

@Timrod

: This place has a theme, but I can’t post it yet. It’s called “Gentle Madman”, but all of the uploads of it on YouTube have spoilers in the comments for something that isn’t as obvious as who this palace belongs to.

I remember you saying this in the Persona 2 LP. We can just not read the comments. I’ve even been told by multiple reliable sources to never read the comments.

@Timrod

: “…I see. Well, since you seem to know a lot more about this than I do, maybe I should call you Morgana-senpai.”

I think you mean Morgana senpai

[Timrod]

@drcakey

Or just have him die immediately. The only reason stealing the Treasure has a delayed effect is so your schedule is consistent, right? Which is kind of a dumb reason to begin with…

Yeah, pretty much. I don’t know why they couldn’t have done it so that the aftermath happens the same day as the boss fight, other than that they wanted to fit as much writing as humanly possible in.

[SpammyV]

I knew it! Principal Kingpin faked his own death and is controlling the school from a hidden location!

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 71

: “Regarding my father… there isn’t anything different about him yet. I can’t help but think about a lot of things when I’m just waiting. Things like, did it go well…?”

: I mean, it went well if your goal was to kill him.

: Joker’s like “No need to worry, the entire party are orphans, now you fit right in.”

: “Thanks. Hearing that from you puts my mind at ease. giggle I guess I’ll relax and look after the flowerbed. I haven’t been able to for a while.”

: Regrettably, we have to do Makoto’s Rank 9 today.

: “I want to dig up some dirt regarding Eiko’s boyfriend Tsukasa before we confront her about him. I was thinking of asking around the red-light district for info. Shall we head over there?”

: “However, we’ll need solid proof of what he’s doing if we’re going to convince Eiko. I believe some of the promoters around here may know something. As my father always said, finding evidence takes serious legwork.”

: This guy right here is the one we’re looking for.

: “We have proof now. Come on, it’s almost time for Eiko’s shift to end. Let’s wait for her in front of the shop.”

: “Eiko… your ‘boyfriend’ is infamous around here for tricking girls into debt, then forcing them to sell themselves. Moreover, he’s probably doing it in conjunction with a criminal gang. You need to get out of there.”

: “I have testimony from one of the promoters in the area. You’re not the first girl Tsukasa has lied to about a ‘broken sake bottle’. He doesn’t ask for much at first, but the interest piles up.”

: “Eventually he’ll ask you to sell your body for money. Please, reconsider this relationship.”

: “It’s always ‘princess’ with you. Why don’t you ever call her by her real name, Tsukasa? Or are there too many princesses in your life to remember?”

: I like to think this isn’t him forgetting, but that Makoto is like Agent 47 in Hitman and was designed to be as generic and bland as possible so that no one remembers her face. Anyone could be Makoto in disguise and you’d never know.

: Makoto just standing there with a Hardballer in her hand going “Personalities are for well-written characters, so I don’t need one.”

: “I knew it. I’m the one who texted you ‘I’ll be 5 mins late 2day, bb.’ I even added tons of emojis at the end to make sure it seemed like Eiko.”

: “Admit it. Every girl you get money from is your princess, right? You can’t even remember names anymore. Don’t you see, Eiko? This is who your ‘boyfriend’ really is!”

: “You already know the truth, you just don’t want to believe it! Stop lying to yourself!”

: “…This has nothing to do with her being an honor student. I just can’t rest knowing there’s such evil in the world! And I damn sure won’t keep quiet while my friend has her life ruined!”

: “As for you… apologize to Eiko! And stay away from her from now on!”

: I don’t know how anyone can take this guy seriously when he’s what one comic artist (whose comic I can no longer find) described as “the most fuck-effeminate anything ever, also disco shoes”.

: I tried to find his old deviantart page, and when I searched his name the only thing I got was inflation porn of Sword Art Online from an unrelated artist. I have suffered for this LP.

: Hoo boy! Let’s go take a look…

: …

: You know, people used to ask me “Mara, if you’re a demon based around the concept of lust as a human desire, are there souls so horny you wouldn’t eat them?” and now I know the answer. It’s yes.

: I captured this one a bit early because the animation plays and finishes before the text box shows up.

: “I dare you!”

: “Akira…”

: “I come from a long line of police officers. If you really want to start something, be my guest.”

: “He wasn’t so tough after all.”

: You know what I don’t get about this? Why this wasn’t just a sidequest. They could’ve come up with a confidant for Makoto that actually, I dunno, made her not seem as boring, and then made this a sidequest.

: “Right. Staying here now is only going to cause us more trouble. Eiko…”

: Wait… she has friends?

: “Really? I hope so… you know, I have a bad habit of acting in the moment. I can’t help but get swept up in emotion. That’s why I always have to take extra care to keep myself composed. My father was the same way…”

: “That aside, this place is… interesting. How did you ever find somewhere like this? You know so much.”

: This is actually Crossroads, the bar where we usually meet Ohya. You just never really see it at this angle.

: “So you come often? It’s hard to believe you’re really a high schooler. You have so much more life experience than me… honestly, spending time with you and getting to know Eiko has given me a lot to think about.”

: “There’s so much you can miss by living with your head buried between the pages of a book… I thought I knew how the world worked… but the more I spent time with you guys, the more I realized how naive I was.”

: “…Do you remember how Eiko said I would flunk a test about love? Well, um… I don’t know how to study that subject. What should I do, Akira?”

: There’s a text box I haven’t been showing where Joker says he’s already in a relationship with another person, and I wish it would say “I’m already in a relationship with someone more interesting.”

: Seriously though, it feels like they had to shoehorn a romance option in at the last minute.

: Some day, she will find her human-sized baked potato which lacks sour cream, chives, butter, or bacon bits.

: “…Right. People say those kinds of things are destiny anyway, so I probably shouldn’t worry myself over it. And besides, I should at least try to focus on my schoolwork right now.”

: “Let’s work hard to achieve our goals together, Akira.”

: “S-Sorry about that. It’s rude of us to stay here so long after only ordering tea…”

: “R-Right. Well, we should be going…”

: “I think between us… we managed to help Eiko see the truth. I’d probably never have pulled this off alone. Thank you so much.”

: “Heh… thanks. I’ll work off that debt through the Phantom Thieves. I’m thinking of calling Eiko once she calms down a bit. But I wanted to get a courage boost from you before I did…”

: “…Yup, that helped. I think I can talk to Eiko properly now. I really am glad I’ve got you in my corner. I’m lucky to have such a reliable leader. Well, I’ll talk to you later… bye.”

: We then have to head right back to Crossroads to meet Ohya. Unfortunately, I had to get an affinity reading - I think it’s because I missed one due to that rescheduling with Iwai.

: “I’ll shmack you if it’s not good enough…”

: “Whaddya mean? You worried about me, Lala-chan…? You’re usually kinda - hic”

: “I’m… totally not drunk… hic”

: “Oooh, you’re sharp, kid! Truth is, um… my quota got doubled. It’s gonna take like… four times as much work to get that much done though.”

: “They’re shacklin’ me down so I won’t have time for anything else… ugh, my chief’s such a shithead…”

: “Yup. That bastard prolly knows something’s up. Before this, I was starting to feel like a real journalist again… the rush of uncovering Kayo’s case… uncovering the dark secrets hidden away by our corrupt society.”

: “But now? It’s gonna be impossible to run my investigation with this quota…”

: “Course it’s not good! But what am I s’posed to do…? They’ll fire me if I can’t reach my quota! Hey, Lala-chan… if they fire me, can I live here?”

: Hm. You know, I wonder if her apartment is more or less of a trash heap than Maya’s is.

: “That still won’t help my investigation though… the incident’s over a year old, and the authorities aren’t doing shit. gasp Maybe Kayo really was the true culprit…”

: “That goes without saying! I mean if I don’t, who will!?”

: sigh “What am I doing…? I mean, I’m the one who dragged Kayo into politics. It’s my fault this ended up happening to her… y’know, she started out in book publishing, mostly taking photos of nature and wild animals.”

: “She was a genius behind the camera though. That’s why I thought she’d make the perfect partner for me…”

: “B-But if I didn’t get her involved in the first place… dammit, that incident is all my fault… that’s why I’ve gotta get to the bottom of it!”

: “Hell yeah! Y’know, it’s weird how calm I get when I’m talkin’ to you. It’s almost like you actually understand me. Oh, and… I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier. The stress must have gotten to me.”

: “It’s just, all this quota business is driving me crazy. I’m gonna have to put all my focus on that for now. I’ll still be counting on you for Phantom Thieves stories though… as long as you’re up for it.”

: “I think I’m gonna have to ease off my investigation for a while too. I don’t need any more eyes on me. But I might be able to ask some of my coworkers for help. Journalists will do anything for a scoop.”

: “Now then, I’ll take any tidbits you have for me today. Hope you don’t mind if I get back to drinking though. This whole conversation really sobered me up…”

: “If I’m being serious - I mean genuinely, actually serious - I really appreciate you. I’m only able to meet my insane quota because of the info you give me on the Phantom Thieves.”

: “Yeah, keep it coming! You’re seriously dependable, kid! But yeah, for now, guess I’ll leave the intel gathering to my partner in crime. I gotta focus on meeting my quota. I’ll never give up on my own investigation!”

: We get some time to read during Ushimaru’s class, so we’ll read Master Swordsman… which is important for a reason that has nothing to do with the stats it conveys.

: If you’ll recall, Master Swordsman was the book we got from the store owner in Jinbocho. He has three other books, which he’ll give you in order and only if you’ve read the one he already gave you.

: The last book is called “Knowing the Heart” and was added for Royal. It’s probably the most important book for the expansion content, because it expands which kinds of attacks can be used to get technical hits.

: I hope you are ready for THE most painful scene in this entire game. It’s completely unchanged from the base game.

: " ‘Learn about my generation.’ Wait, I think I can do the next one too! ‘Have a normal conversation with a stranger my age’! Hmmm, where can I find lots of young people?"

: “Welp, ain’t no time like the present! Come on, let’s go!”

: “Wow, you guys have actually started getting pretty close. Not like that’s a bad thing though. Anyway, be careful out there.”

: “I’ve heard all about the unlimited fountain drinks at these places… Well…? Where are they? I don’t see 'em anywhere!”

: Oh, great.

: “Oh crap, and you’re with a girl?”

: “Is this a friend of yours?”

: “Hmmm. How 'bout I ask him to help with my promise?”

: “What promise?”

: “W-Welllll…”

: “…You just want to have a regular old conversation? So, wait. You’re saying that you, a girl… want to talk to… me? I see. In that case, I guess I don’t have a choice. Nope, none whatsoever. I’ll just have to help you out.”

: No! Don’t encourage him!

: “U-Uh, okay… I’m Yuuki Mishima, but everyone just calls me Mishima.”

: “Hrmhrmhrm. It seems like help always comes my way when I need it most. Maybe my luck stat’s really high.”

: Joker is truly in hell, trapped between an incel and a girl gamer.

: “Heck yeah! I could prolly roll a natural twenty right now if you asked me to!”

: “Youth… the unknown frontier…”

: “Hm, maybe I should try talking about my hobbies… do you like computers?”

: “Mm, I’m always online.”

: “Me too! What sites do you use? I usually keep to forums myself… or are you more into streaming? I’d gladly subscribe to your channel. W-W-Wait, do you by chance run one of those… racy channels?”

: Is this painful enough for you yet? Because I don’t think it is. Welcome to the worst exchange in the game.

: Do people even play WoW in Japan? I thought even back then, FF14 had basically eaten Blizzard’s lunch in Asia. Hell, I had quit WoW before Wrath of the Lich King even released.

: Oh right, if you’re lost, the whole “kek” thing started out as a dumbass WoW meme. I don’t know if they still do it, but way back when there used to be a chatfilter to stop the Horde players from talking to the Alliance players.

: One of the few known bits was that if you said “lol” as a Horde player to an Alliance player, it would come out on the Alliance player’s end as “kek”.

: “H-Huh? That’s all you took from that conversation?”

: Mishima is the Demi-Fiend offering thousands of macca to a demon only to have it go “Fuck it” and walk off. And that’s one of the reasons I can’t play Nocturne for more than like half an hour at a time.

: If you look closely, you can see Mishima’s soul leave his body.

: If I could get away with answering the second one, I would.

: “Really? Huh, I guess you can’t judge a book by its cover. Anyway, I’m glad you spawned here! I killed two promises with one Nishima today! ‘Learn about my generation’ and ‘have a normal conversation with a stranger my age’! Aw yeah!”

: I mentioned this in the first post, but I have a $200 statue of Futaba on my shelf. Have I mentioned I fast-forwarded through this scene in the base game and then spent years erasing it from my memory?

: Lesson here is to never order figures of anything, and especially not before you finish the game. I’ll post pictures after this update.

: “I think I gained a ton of EXP on this adventure. And it’s all 'cause you brought me here, Akira. Thanks!”

: “Anyway, uh… what are you doing after this?”

: “Going home.”

: “O-Oh… right…”

: “I mean, I cleared two goals in one day! That’s not all! On my way home, I found a lost thing in the street, so I dropped it off at the police station.”

: “I’m a completely different person now! No more getting scared of the police! C’mon, tell me I’m cool!”

: “Heh heh… man, I love it when people tell me I did good! Though I… basically just left the thing on their doorstep. No way I’m actually talking to anyone in there. But I left a note and stuff, so still! Mission complete, basically!”

: So here’s the thing, right? I like Futaba’s character design. It’s legitimately pretty good, even if her whole thief outfit thing is kinda horny. It’s just that everything else about her sucks.

: “Compared to the police, Nishima was nothing. He’s like the first gym leader. At my current level, I can easily befriend an NPC like Nishima, and… eh, never mind.”

: “Anyhow, thanks again for today. Time to make like a tree!”

: “The one behind the mental shutdowns… it has to be someone dangerous. Now that we’re getting closer to the truth, we need to be ready for absolutely anything.”

: Unfortunately, we can do exactly fuck all tonight. I thought we could do Sojiro’s confidant, but nope. It’s Featherman time. I also just recently found out that this was something added to Royal.

: “I guess we’ve moved on from Osagiri’s space lab. This looks like an urban area on Earth.”

: “Sending a trainee into battle against a real enemy? Man, Osagiri isn’t just tough, she’s reckless.”

: “What the - is that a walking phone booth?”

: “Here it comes! Get your controller ready!”

: You know, why aren’t all the inputs just X? You know, given that Innocent Sin had cursor memory and most battles could be resolved via auto-combat.

: “Yeah! Nice dodge!”

: “This is bad. Pigeon’s caught in the cord and can’t move!”

: “Cut the cord, quick! We have to escape!”

: “Good! We escaped the cord and dodged the beam!”

: “Now, let’s finish this off! Aerial Slash!”

: “All right! We beat Phoneternum! But I wonder what he was trying to say…”

: “Having executed the royalty, the revolutionaries proceeded to take the courts under their control… all who opposed the revolution were executed. However, the revolutionaries, too, were then reviled as despots and executed by the public.”

: Just gotta keep killing until there’s no one left to kill, that’s the French way.

: “Many people were executed during the French Revolution. The fact that this many executions were possible was actually due to one specific invention. Kurusu-kun, take a look at this.”

: “Now, do you know who invented this instrument?”

: Like many questions in this game, this answer is “correct”, but also very wrong. Joseph-Ignace Guillotin did not invent the guillotine - it had already been in use in several other countries before it appeared in France.

: The French guillotine was invented by a surgeon named Antoine Louis years after Guillotin first introduced the idea of standardized executions by a beheading machine - the reason the machine is called the guillotine is because the French people took Guillotin’s idea as a joke when it was first introduced.

: Wikipedia claims that Guillotin was against the death penalty, but that’s straight-up wrong. The idea behind the guillotine was to ensure that there was one standard of execution regardless of social status, as prior to the introduction of the guillotine, commoners typically got the more… messy… means of execution.

: “That’s correct. This tool is named after him. By the way, Charles-Henri Sanson, the famous executioner… it’s said he killed 2800 people with the advent of the guillotine. It may look cruel, but it delivered a swift, painless execution regardless of one’s social status.”

: “It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that it embodied the French spirit of equality. Revolution is sometimes a bloody thing… the revolutionaries that rose up for freedom became despots themselves… it’s a common tale.”

: “Our social reform doesn’t hurt anybody in the real world… it’s a bloodless revolution!”

: We can trade the Calling Postcard we bought earlier for two Strawberry Daifuku, which are not only a full heal for the entire party, but also remove all status effects.

: And now, because I’ve done it for everyone else, is Makoto’s Rank 10.

: “I think she knew it deep within her heart, and seeing him like that finally helped her realize.”

: “You’re still not gonna let me forget that, hm? Well, I’m glad she didn’t get into any danger… oh, and she told me she quit her job. Right now she doesn’t know what she wants to do, but she’s going to go to college and figure things out.”

: “So in the end, Eiko’s going to start seriously focusing on her studies again. I plan on doing the same as well.”

: I kind of screwed up recording this route, so a few of the choice screenshots will be from the uh… other friendship route. There’s two. Makoto didn’t get a romance route, probably because they were too busy writing one for Yusuke.

: It’s strange, because the two routes are word-for-word identical, only one takes place in Joker’s room with Makoto sitting uncomfortably close.

: “Yes. I thought there was no point in continuing my studies, but… this time I’m not seeking anyone’s praise, and I’m not trying to show off my intelligence. I simply want to fulfill my own personal goals and dreams.”

: “Before now, I didn’t have a clear vision of what that meant. I was lost in life… but thanks to you, I’ve finally come to realize it. My dream… is to become a police commissioner. That is why I need to study.”

: Most boring girl wants to be a cop, becomes worst girl, film at 11.

: “Yes, the head of police operations. It will require me to have an extensive academic background. There are too many incidents in this country that are never brought to light. That host was one.”

: “Villains who prey on the hearts of the weak with cowardly, legally questionable methods… my father risked his life trying to catch a group of those people. I will never forgive them.”

: Thanks for telling us all this shit we already know, Makoto. Great way to end your second to last confidant event.

: “But I won’t be able to eradicate them all on my own… instead, I want to head an organization that will destroy the lawless and help rescue victims.”

: Okay, what? First you want to be a police chief, and now you’re saying you want to be the head of some kind of NGO not even two sentences later. Were the writers drunk when they were writing this?

: “I hope so… that is the justice I aim for. I also believe it will be a continuation of my father’s legacy. Honestly, it’s a little strange that I found the true meaning of my studies outside of my studies.”

: “…Thank you for all your help. Must have been difficult babysitting the upstanding Miss President, right?”

New Persona: Anat

Origin: Semitic Mythology

First Appearance: Devil Summoner

Mesopotamian goddess of war worshipped as far away as Egypt. Sister of Hadad (aka Baal) who assisted Hadad in defeating the river god Ym and building his own palace. Normally depicted as being extremely violent and murderous.

: I honestly don’t remember how Anat works in combat, but from what I remember, Makoto no longer rides a motorcycle during her casting animations.

: It sucks that they wasted such a cool Persona on such a godawful character. They even have a transforming Johanna/Anat figure which shows off how the transformation works.

: “Now then, in order to fulfill my dream, I’ll need to be accepted into my first choice college. giggle What a funny thought… studying to become a head of police while working as a thief…”

: “But perhaps it’s not as contradictory as it seems. The objective is the same… exposing the evil lurking in the dark shadows… oh, that’s right. In thanks for helping me, I’ll gladly assist you with your studies as well.”

: In reality, we’re not doing Makoto’s Rank 10 until sometime in November, so let’s get to what we actually do on the 26th.

: “Sounds like they had another success, huh? That’s cool. The war’s still going on… it’s probably because they think I’m weak. If only I was as strong as the Phantom Thieves…”

: “What, so being big is better?”

: Is he “familiar” because he’s trying way too hard to be Travis Touchdown?

: “…Yeah, you’re the guy from all those videos online!”

: “You just called me weak! That’s it! We’re playing! I won’t lose!”

: “…I missed!? …Th-that doesn’t count! Let’s play again!”

: “One more… one more game!”

: “Shut up! You cheated, didn’t you!?”

: I’d make a joke about how no one would play a shooter that is apparently so easy to cheat in that anyone can do it, but then Team Fortress 2 exists.

: TF2 is a game where even before Valve shit it up, the top sniper players in competitive were frequently caught using aimbots.

: “Right!? There’s no way I could’ve lost…!”

: “Dammit…! You’ve gotta be kidding me…”

: I got a little suspicious here, and as it turns out this is the wrong answer - this guide picks it on purpose to get the optional events. I’m now wondering how many other times we’ve intentionally picked wrong answers, because not all of them are as obvious. The correct answer is the second one.

: I did a little looking into it, and it looks like we’ve only done it a handful of times. I still think it’s kinda shitty that the guide author doesn’t mention that they’re doing this.

: “The strongest always win in the end. Just like the Phantom Thieves… watch, I’ll win for sure next time! I’m not a loser, you’ll see!”

: “…Crap, it’s late. I gotta go… Man, that Takekuma though! Telling me to practice for next time… a grown-up shouldn’t spend so much time playing video games!”

: Little late there, Hashino. I’m only… 75 hours into this JRPG. Granted, a lot of that was grinding and me going slowly during recording to make sure I didn’t miss anything.

: I accidentally missed a crossword, so this is an old one that carried over. Not like it matters anyway.

: Tonight, we’re doing another Caroline and Justine outing.

: “…one halfway detached from this world - it is said the time spent there is like that of a dream.”

: “Men and women of all ages swarm the land, forgetting reality in search of happiness and wonder.”

: “This sounds like a similar form of escapism as the fantasies we saw in the movie theater… a sinister trap that ensorcels humans… if such a place truly exists, then we must observe it in action ourselves.”

: “Does this location sound at all familiar to you?”

: “Well? If you know where it is, then escort us there immediately! So, what’ll it be?”

: Joker’s like “You do both realize that it costs like $350 a person to get into Destinyland”, to which Caroline and Justine respond “Oh, we know. What do you think the $4,000 we charged you to fuse Mara and Baal were for?”

: Whoa, what!? They told me I was getting a cut of that! Where’s my cut?!

: “Caroline, what excites you so?”

: I’m not sure if this is meant to be Teddie or not.

: “Is there a king living in that castle? Shouldn’t we pay him our respects first?”

: I get that all the time.

: "This gleeful music… the rhythmic, monotonous dancing… the grins plastered across every spectator’s face… this overstimulation is making me grow dizzy…’

: “Ah-ha! This is a brainwashing scheme, isn’t it, Inmate?”

: “Really? They all appear entranced to me.”

: “Make sure you don’t befall the same fate.”

: “Although, it may benefit us to investigate just how they pull off such a successful mass-brainwashing. Justine, let us conduct an inspection of the premises.”

: “Lead the way, inmate.”

: “You say that now, despite appearing quite captivated before… what with your outbursts like ‘That bear is so cute!’ and ‘Let’s get in line to meet the characters!’ and so forth…”

: I have to wonder who Caroline and Justine’s favorite Disney princesses would be. Caroline I can see pretending to not be into it while secretly being very into it, but I’m not sure which one she’d like.

: “I-I said nothing of the sort! I was merely going through the motions in the guise of a brainwashed human! That’s all it was!”

: “Look, there’s another line! Let’s see where it goes!”

: “We had better catch up to her, Inmate.”

: Okay, I forgot about this. Justine’s favorite princess is definitely Alice, even though I don’t think Alice counts as a princess - not because of the film, but because she admires the demon.

: “What was that, Inmate!?”

: “The stalls were lit with chandeliers… and the sinks looked as if they were designed for royalty.”

: “…Were we actually in someone’s Palace that whole time? Well that was fun - I mean, that was a functional assignment, but we’ve had enough for today. Time to head back.”

: “Just a moment, Caroline… I have heard it is customary to bring back some sort of token gift for one’s superiors after visiting a place such as this.”

: “We should buy something for our master while we have the chance. I perused the wares on display earlier. The mouse ears or the stuffed bear… which do you think our master would prefer?”

: Joker is going to troll the fuck out of Igor for making him pay that much for Mara.

: “The master… with round mouse ears… giggle”

: “In any case, we have confirmed the existence of a ‘world of dreams’. As such, we formally acknowledge your assignment as complete. Here is your reward.”

: This admittedly would’ve saved me some time doing their confidant.

: “Look at the smiles on these people’s faces… it’s as if they’ve been liberated from their everyday lives.”

: “A human’s desire to dream even reaches into their time in the waking world… a rather curious phenomenon for us, as we dwell in the space between dream and reality.”

: “Ooh, is another brainwashing parade beginning?”

: I’m going to cut this update here, because I want to keep Makoto contained to a single update. Next time… we’re doing Yusuke’s Rank 9 (and also his Rank 10). That means TWO new More Like Yusu-Gays - one from Salty Vanilla and a second from Yokobox.

: That’s not all to the Yusuke romance route, by the way. Salty Vanilla did the Christmas date a few months ago and is now working on… a surprise for the expansion content. I’m also planning on having them do a Valentine’s Day event.

: We’ll also potentially max out Yoshida’s confidant, and find out whether that Japanese guide was correct or not. I’ll also post the romance cutscenes with Makoto (which I still insist aren’t real) under the “alternate scenes” header.

[SpammyV]

How do you do, fellow gamers?

Also I can’t believe the Catholic church and medieval so-called “”“historians”"" are covering up the truth about Pope Joan The Pope Who Is Not Only A Motorcycle But A Transformer Too Basically Arcee Except Not Pink.

I guess that explains why they couldn’t do more with her having a motorcycle.

[Timrod]

Summary

: Just like all of the other Rank 9 events, Makoto’s is identical up until the final choice.

: “…? U-Um, I’m not exactly the most well-versed in these matters, so allow me to confirm this… do you… like me?”

: I think we’ve overloaded the robot’s AI.

: “…O-Oh. Um… you really mean it, right? W-Well then… if, um… if it’s all right with you… let’s start dating, for real.”

: “This is so embarrassing… I look forward to, um, growing our relationship um… together.”

: “Sorry. I know we just saw each other. So… I think between us… we managed to help Eiko see the truth. I’d probably never have pulled this off alone. Thank you so much.”

: “Huh? C-Come on, stop that… but hearing that does make me happy… you’re too nice to me. I’m thinking of calling Eiko once she calms down a bit. But I wanted to get a courage boost from you before I did…”

: “…Yup, that helped. I think I can talk to Eiko properly now. I guess b-boyfriends… um… really can be… reliable…”

: Yeah, Yusuke really is a great boyfriend, isn’t he.

: Makoto’s Rank 10 scene is completely identical to her other Rank 10 scene, except it takes place in Joker’s room instead of Big Bang Burger until after the part where her Persona evolves.

: “Well… I was thinking… maybe we could study some things we don’t have experience in yet… would that be okay? …I want to be with you.”

: And that’s all for this horrible non-canon hellscape.

[Timrod]

@SpammyV

I guess that explains why they couldn’t do more with her having a motorcycle.

I mean, I don’t get why they didn’t just make both of her Personas into Transformers - have Anat be a beefier motorcycle with a different color scheme.

[Timrod]

: Oh, right. I said I’d show the Persona 5 figures I have. This is the $200 Futaba, which I bought after knowing what her design was but before finishing her confidant.

: I also have this. I forget how much this ran me, but it wasn’t cheap.

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 72

: It’s time. Today, we finally reach Rank 9 with Yusuke.

: We have four new books we have to buy in order to get Knowing the Heart, so let’s get on that.

: We can also get a new decoration for Joker’s room. I think there’s five of these in total. We’ll put them up a bit later.

: I’m going to unfortunately have to stick to tradition and do the friendship route first.

: “Where does this passage even go? It feels as though I’m being sucked inside merely by gazing upon it. So this is the heart of man… it is ugly… yet beautiful as well.”

: “That duality is what makes humanity such an interesting subject… as you know, I have been confused recently about the reason for my art.”

: “Did I want to be recognized, or did I want to capture pure beauty? Was it due to my talent, or just my upbringing? …Each answer would seem correct at first, yet only prove itself false upon a more in-depth examination.”

: “Akira… when my mother was painting the ‘Sayuri’… what do you think she was thinking about?”

: “Such love is almost embarrassing to have pointed out to me… but you are probably right. However, I believe that was not the only thing she thought about.”

: “It seems the ‘Sayuri’ was meant to impart something to me… and to all others who view it, for that matter. Love, regret, loneliness, anxiety, calm… and hope. All of the emotions my mother felt, conveyed plainly to the viewer.”

: “That is why it has such a profoundly unique impact on those who see it. My paintings pale in comparison to such depth of meaning…”

: “And yet… that painting has kept me going this whole time. During particularly difficult nights, it was there to soothe my sadness. It acted almost as a ray of light cutting through the somber darkness…”

: “I had wanted to create a similar beacon of hope for others… but it seems I lost sight of that goal. Look. This world is a dark, unrelenting place, Akira.”

: “But that is why I am going to wield my brush again… to give hope to all those who see my paintings.”

: “Yes, thanks to you. You chose to help me work through my problems instead of leaving me to my sadness. Now, I will use my art to paint over the blackness of this world. It shall become a vivid realm, full of hope… I expect it will be a most beautiful sight to behold.”

: “Perhaps you will see it someday, Akira.”

: The route switch happens right here. The choices are something like “Let’s make a new world together.” and “I hope I do.”

: “Hm, this radiant light growing within me… it must be the light of hope. …I shall paint it.”

: “…Kawanabe-san.”

: “Indeed I do.”

: “That no longer matters to me though. I am going to enter my painting merely so others can be exposed to it. Well, I will talk to you later, Akira. Farewell.”

: Yusuke’s Rank 9 is extremely short compared to almost all of the other Rank 9 scenes. We’ll do his Rank 10 tomorrow morning, but unfortunately we have a very long Mishima event tonight.

: For the More Like Yusu-Gay route, there’s no event on the night of 10/07, because Yusuke’s Rank 9 can only be done on a Thursday and picking the romance route locks you out of the next day.

: “He probably just couldn’t live with himself after what he did to her… his reputation did a total 180 after he announced the marriage though. People used to hate him, but now all everyone wants to talk about is how sweet and manly he is.”

: “At any rate, we can’t oppose the will of the public. Good thing we decided not to change his heart. Support for the Phantom Thieves would’ve really dropped if we had.”

: “…I need to make sure our next target is one we can win against.”

: “Proof. Proof that we’re the ones doing the right thing. Oh, by the way… I came up with a new plan of attack. If we really wanna make you guys famous, we need to do more than just answer promising requests.”

: “Right now there are tons of idiots out there doubting you, and trying to influence others to do the same. So… we’re gonna purge them.”

: I wonder if Chris Metzen played this game, because if he did, I guarantee he and his corruption fetish were salivating. Chris Metzen is the lead writer for Blizzard.

: “Sorry about that. Purge is a pretty disturbing word, huh? There’s not really any better way to phrase it though. The truth is, I looked up some of these idiots who were criticizing you and sent them warning messages.”

: I feel like Joker should follow Golgo 13’s rule regarding imitators and kill Mishima right here.

: “I’ll have you know, it’s been working wonders. They totally stopped dissing the P-Thieves! There are still some people who say they don’t believe, but deep down they’re just afraid of you guys.”

: The… P-Thieves? Is Mishima into watersports?

: Mishima’s VA does this disturbing laugh right here and it just works.

: “Plus now that all those haters are gone, people are putting a bunch more info on the forum. Post after post after post, it’s all ‘please’ and ‘help me’… this is so much fun.”

: Mishima has become an early-2000s forum mod.

: “All I did is find my own way to change people’s hearts. I’m above the simple stuff like producing and advertising now. I can change the world. I have the strength to do that now…”

: “Akiyama-kun…”

: “Hahaha… we actually saw each other here not that long ago…”

: “…Akiyama-kun?”

: “Are you okay?”

: “I dunno, you just seem… quiet.”

: “Zero… he acts like I’m total nothing, but he still takes time to try and mess with me… I’ve changed though. I’m way better than a loser like him. I even heard he’s been hanging out with some shady people…”

: “They’re all scum. I wish we could change their hearts, for the good of society…”

: “All right, it’s decided! Your next target is gonna be Akiyama-kun! Let’s see, where’s his info… um, speaking of targets… are you guys gonna come after me someday too…?”

: “You’re really considering it…? H-Hahaha… good joke, Kurusu… anyway, I’m heading home. I’ll send you Akiyama-kun’s info later…”

: “Didn’t he give us some other weird request too? Something about that handsome actor? Is Mishima-kun trying to take advantage of us?”

: “Apparently, he has also threatened anyone who dares speak ill of the Phantom Thieves on his forum. Perhaps we should enact a change of heart on Mishima, not this Akiyama fellow.”

: “Whoa, wait up. He ain’t that bad.”

: “Hm… I guess we could find out what’s happening if we managed to find his Shadow. I mean, he’s already worried that we’re gonna change his heart, right? We’ll probably be able to track down his Shadow in Mementos.”

: “All things considered, I think our best course of action would be to defeat it and change his heart.”

: Does Haru even know who Mishima is?

: “We can’t have him keep causing problems for us though.”

: “Either way, we can decide whether or not we change his heart later. For now, we must meet his Shadow.”

: “Yeah. Let’s head into Mementos and track down Mishima’s Shadow!”

: “Could you be… the Phantom Thieves!?”

: It’s very strange that Mishima’s shadow doesn’t recognize them, especially since he knows who they are in reality and knows that they’re John Persona.

: “ME, of all people…? If you just shut up and listened to what I told you, the Phantom Thieves would get even more famous… and if you did that, I’d get some of the spotlight too. I wouldn’t be just some stupid zero anymore…”

: “There’s finally some hope back in my life… so why? Why are you so insistent on stopping me…? Yo, losers, get out of here. I wanna talk to your leader… alone.”

: “Before you came along, I knew my role in life. I was supposed to be the guy everyone messed with. I had accepted that I was a zero, embraced it even… but once I figured out you were one of the Phantom Thieves, everything changed…”

: “You just HAD to get close to me…! I mean, seeing a real-life hero do all this amazing stuff made me wish I could be something more… I want to change society too… I want the world to notice me!”

: He says this like he didn’t try to get close to Joker at all costs.

: “If I can just make the Phantom Thieves famous, maybe I’ll end up famous too…!”

: “I’m not sure… but I don’t have any other choice. I don’t have any special powers like you guys… heck, nobody even pays attention to me…! In the end, that’s why I need you guys… you’re the only way I’ll be able to make a name for myself!”

: “I know it’s wrong… but if I can’t push my way into the spotlight now, when will I…!? A-Anyway, just bring it on already! You’re here to fight, aren’t you!?”

: “C’mon, let’s go. I’m sure he learned something if he’s been spendin’ all this time with us amazin’ heroes, yeah?”

: I was hoping we’d at least get to punch him.

: “It had a picture of a huge lantern. I didn’t know stuff like that happens in the city…”

: The Sanja Festival is a Shinto festival that happens each year on the third weekend in May in Asakusa.

: “Wow, so you know about it, too? I really wanna check it out… okay, then let’s end training early today and head over there!”

: “It’s like a festival! Do you think it’s like this every day? What’re we gonna do here, Kurusu-san? I’m not interested in temples…”

: “Huh? Really!? I thought we were going to the temple. Ooh! I smell something good! Haha… you figured it out, right? I haven’t been able to eat lunch at school lately, which sucks…”

: “You’re really nice, Kurusu-san. Thanks for bringing me here. Hey, what should we eat first? Ningyo-yaki? Dango? …Let’s see who can eat the most!”

: Unfortunately, we can’t do much tonight. The only people available are ones we’ve maxed out, so we read Call Me Chief instead to get ahead on that.

: The good news is that as a result of this, we’ll have Knowing the Heart done before the next Mementos visit, roughly two weeks before the guide would have us do it.

: “I love the sound of the word ‘chief’. I’d like to be called that too, someday.”

: We’ll accept this soon enough, but first… Yusuke’s Rank 10. Ignore the date on it, I accidentally recorded the canon run of the 9th and forgot to reload, so I did it on the 10th instead.

: I also found out during this run that Yoshida IS available on the 10th, so we will be finishing his confidant this update, ahead of schedule.

: “Moreover, it was accepted. The resulting exhibition is actually going on as we speak. Come, let us go. It is being held at the same museum as last time.”

: “I still have much to learn, but I finally painted something that I can be satisfied with. Yes. This is the true heart of humanity. The title is ‘Desire and Hope’. What do you think?”

: “I added aspects that were previously lacking. This light… is all of you. The title lists hope, but in my mind, it’s a much more concrete thing. I can’t believe I didn’t realize that until now…”

: Yusuke’s existing route is about a step removed from being a gay romance route.

: “You…”

: Could it be that it’s good because Yusuke has finally admitted who he really is? We’ll find out in the next update.

: “Huh?”

: “…It is.”

: “What are you playing at?”

: “But… why would you do that? What’s your objective?”

: “Huh?”

: “So that’s why…”

: “…”

: “Sensei…”

: Okay so wait… this was a guy who killed someone through inaction, had screwed over everyone he ever knew… and suddenly he gives a shit about Yusuke?

: “…Yeah.”

: “It’s a truly kind offer. Thank you for your generosity. However, I must respectfully decline.”

: “I am not Madarame. I won’t be stained by desire. After all, I can see hope. If I am lost, they will extend their hands. If I am wrong, they will chastise me. As long as I have my rays of hope to guide me, I will be fine.”

: “…What a strange man.”

: “Sacrificing one’s own money for the sake of others - that’s not something anyone can do. Perhaps it’s a tad wasteful of me to decline. Still, I believe it’s for the best.”

: “I feel contradictory, but that’s the human heart, correct? …Interesting. That’s exactly what I should be painting. It must have been troublesome dealing with me.”

: “But for some reason, I knew that you wouldn’t abandon me until everything was said and done. Thank you… my friend.”

: Odin is the next Persona up the Emperor arcana from Baal. Because we already have Baal, we will be fusing him up into Odin as soon as we hit the next Mementos run.

: In hindsight, I really should’ve gotten a picture like that one I got for Tatsuya and Jun in the Innocent Sin LP.

Returning Persona: Kamu Susano-O

Origin: Japan

First Appearance: Digital Devil Story Novels

Shinto god of the sea and storms. Brother of Amaterasu and Tsukuyomi, spawned when Izanagi washed his face after exiting the underworld. Yusuke’s version of Susano-O comes from an 8th-century book called Izumo No Kuni Fudoki that contain fragments of myth that go against the official version that was kept by the government in ancient Japan.

: My favorite part of the article about Izumo No Kuni Fudoki is that they have a myth where their province isn’t big enough, so one of the gods pulls land from Korea to make it bigger.

: It’s funny because you don’t really need gods for that - all you need is a Belgian farmer who has a tractor and access to the stones that mark the national border between France and Belgium.

: Now I kind of want a game where a god attempts to annex Belgium and you play as an irritated Belgian farmer who isn’t going to let divine intervention stop him from growing his crops. It’d be like Harvest Moon only by the end you’re going to beat the shit out of a deity with a battle tractor.

: “…I reiterate my promise to you. I’ll extend my assistance to you, should you ever stumble. Now then, shall we go?”

: And that’s that. Let’s go on to what we’re actually doing on the 9th.

: “They’re so high quality. Way better than cheapos. The subtle facial expressions - even the little wrinkles on the clothes… urgh, I want it so bad… but you could get sushi ten times with that kinda money…”

: “Oh, that’s it! But what part-time jobs could I even do? Not customer service, that’s for dang sure! Fine… I guess I’ll just have to settle for staring at it.”

: “Let’s just wait for him to leave. Don’t make eye contact. Okay?”

: “Mm? Well, look who it is…”

: “Hey. Didn’t think I’d bump into you here.”

: “He’s talking to us…! We’re dead…”

: “…Who’s the little lady?”

: " ‘Basically,’ huh. Sounds complicated. Still, not like I’m in a place to judge."

: “…You know this guy?”

: “What, like for a job…? I guess you could say that.”

: “Wait, like… that military store?”

: “Oh, you know it?”

: “Y-Yeah… uh, I mean, yes sir…”

: “…Relax, kid. I don’t bite.”

: “Oh, me and these guys go way back. They distribute some of my wares here.”

: “Wares…? What about that model gun in the second floor display case?”

: “Oh, huh… yeah, that’s probably one of ours.”

: You mean one of yours, right? It’s not like you work with anyone, given that in Strikers the shop closes because you leave it.

: “That kind of authenticity is hard to find.”

: That was a quick turnaround.

: “Whoa. You know your stuff, little lady. You oughta drop by the shop sometime. I got plenty more models for someone who can appreciate 'em.”

: I’m imagining Futaba going to Iwai’s and ordering five M1911s, each one styled after a Featherman. He asks her how the hell she’s going to carry five guns and she goes “I have ways.”

: “R-Really!?”

: “Yeah, really. See ya around.”

: “A speech about the Phantom Thieves… there are some things I want you to hear, so please come and listen to it.”

: “Thank you. I appreciate it, but…”

: “I haven’t spoken to him since we last met.”

: “Okay, I’m going to get started.”

: Is “break a leg” even a thing in Japanese?

: “I will. Especially with you looking on.”

: “Setting aside whether their actions are right or wrong… there is one thing I can safely say about the Phantom Thieves. A belief with conviction… has the ability to move a person’s heart.”

: “I’m sure you are all aware that I am ‘No-Good Tora’, the one accused of embezzlement. I was a fool 20 years ago. It’s no wonder that I was considered a failure as a politician.”

: “However, because I was accused like that, I was able to understand the suffering of the weak. Why am I in politics? In the past, it was merely for political gain. But why do the Phantom Thieves continue to change hearts?”

: I kind of wish they would’ve focused less on Yoshida’s speeches, which are all pretty much the same. I recorded his Rank 10 last night and couldn’t remember which set of screenshots was which because they’re so similar.

: “I believe they do it for the world and its people. And in choosing to do justice for others, they had no choice but to disguise themselves. No matter what the world says, I fully support them.”

: “I’m just an average citizen. However, I will continue to voice my beliefs. I may not be able to become a Diet member this election… and I may not be able to effect change during my lifetime…”

: “Thank you for listening.”

: Isn’t it also kind of weird that Yoshida is a politician who only ever talks about John Persona?

: “That’s right.”

: “Matsushita…”

: “My candidacy… huh? What an unexpected turn of events. The Phantom Thieves… perhaps, it’s the effect of you moving my heart.”

: I like that he’s the only confidant who kind of asks “Did you do anything to me?” when they realize that the person they’ve been talking to is a high schooler with brainfuck powers.

: “You have a bright future ahead of yourself as a Diet member. I’m sure you’ll be able to stay composed when the opposition taunts you. The Phantom Thieves… the power to change a person’s heart…”

: “I don’t possess a special power like they do, but I won’t lose to them when it comes to conviction. Speech is my only weapon. Just my voice and my words. That’s how I win people over.”

: “Thank you for sticking by my side, Kurusu-kun.”

: “Contrary to what I thought, getting your heart stolen isn’t such a bad thing. If he’s a member of the Phantom Thieves, then…”

: We’ll do this event just to see it, but even if I was following the guide to the letter, we’d do it and then reset to do an actual confidant event today.

: “I guess Futaba’s coming here to show us a magazine tomorrow. It sounds like fun, but… I’m going to bed.”

: “Oh, I have enough for you, by the way. There’s some seriously ingenious stuff in these things.”

: “And this keyboard is too curvy! How do you even type on this thing?”

: I bet she saw one of those Maltron keyboards. Seriously, those things are like $600, which is kind of absurd.

: “Man, nice! This ‘PC Build Competition’ is right up my alley… have you ever built your own PC before, Akira?”

: Yes I have, and I’m damn well going to build another soon, provided this crypto crash sticks.

: “Really!? Huh, you’re more of a techie than I thought. You might even be a PC master! What were the specs? What CPU did you use? How much RAM did you put in?”

: “Ooh, did you overclock it? How’d you handle cooling?” Hehehe… we should go to Akiba together sometime, Akira!"

: Let’s reset and do what we’re actually doing today.

: “I mean, I couldn’t do anything to him… there’s just no way.”

: “Right!? He must have done something to win… I’ve heard rumors about Takekuma! People say he uses cheat armor! You know what that is, right? He totally broke the rules by equipping it…”

: We call that “pay to win”. By the way, this choice is one of a few where you get full points for more than one answer - in this case, either the first or the third.

: “I bet that’s why my usual shots didn’t work against him! That has to be the reason! But next time we play, I’m definitely…”

: “Yep. Even the Phantom Thieves had a comeback victory against Medjed. I’m gonna win next time! Just watch! The thing is… I told my mom about what happened with Takekuma…”

: “But… she didn’t… really care. All she said was, ‘Okay.’ It’s probably because I lost… she doesn’t like kids who lose.”

: “My mom once told me that… we need to be strong, because it’s just the two of us. She said no one helps the weak. They just get preyed on…”

: “That’s why I wanna get stronger. Strong enough that we won’t get preyed on. Strong enough that WE’D be the predators…”

: I’m just picturing Gotou, who at this point is probably a hobo after losing his military command in If, walking by and going “Hey kid, wanna rule the weak?”

: “That’s exactly who the Phantom Thieves are… the strongest… who can prey on anyone. Once I become the strongest, my mom will be able to count on me.”

: “The only way I can win is through games… that’s why I can’t lose. …What should I do about Takekuma’s armor…? The strategy I used last time didn’t work…”

: “Of course! I’m definitely gonna win next time! …Thanks. You’re like a big brother to me. I can talk to you about anything… I heard that that’s what it’s like to have a sibling…”

: This ability was added for Royal. It makes the gun customizations that do status ailments better, but that’s not what we’re going to use it for.

: Because we just unlocked Odin, we have access to Ann’s ultimate SMG. It not only does a shitload of damage but also inflicts Despair, and with this ability the chances of it doing so are pretty good. Despair locks an enemy down, so you can potentially win entire encounters with just Ann.

: “Takekuma better watch out… crap, look at the time! I gotta go! See you later!”

: “That Takekuma… even thinking about him pisses me off! I’ll beat him next time for sure. But since he might be cheating, normal training isn’t gonna cut it. I gotta think of a new strategy by the next time I challenge him!”

: “I don’t know yet… I just need some time to think. I feel like I’m right on the edge of a good idea. Once I figure everything out, you should come train with me!”

: “I gotta be the best. Or else my mom won’t… well, I’ll definitely win next time. See ya.”

: Tonight, we’re going to finish off Yoshida’s confidant ahead of schedule. Once we do this, we’ll have avoided one of the two major permafucks in this game. His confidant cuts off on 11/13.

: “A weekly magazine reported that Kuramoto was the real culprit in the funds misappropriation case. Old Man Kuramoto will likely be forced to retire from the political world.”

: “The police can’t do anything, because it was 20 years ago, but he has a moral obligation. I hear his grandson Benzo resigned from the party as well. It could be due to Matsushita’s influence, or perhaps it’s just the party’s way of atoning…”

: It’s funny how all of our other confidants need us to do something, but Yoshida probably would’ve turned out the same even without us.

: “Now it’s all up to me… and my abilities.”

: “To think that people would be excited to hear me speak… the article mentioned I didn’t want the real culprit to be named even though I knew who it was.”

: “Apparently, people admire me for having quietly accepted a false charge for 20 years. I didn’t intend for any of this to happen though.”

: “I appreciate that someone like you, who’s been watching me so closely, would say such a thing. I’ve struggled for the past 20 years… but I can put all that behind me after the election.”

: “…Oh, look at the time. I should get started. Today will be the last day I request help…”

: “I don’t intend to meddle. Everything I’ve told you has been based on assumptions, but if you’re still willing to listen… then I think you should focus on your ‘work,’ because the time is now. I can’t think of anything else to teach you.”

: “You are now an expert on giving speeches. I taught you all I know about the art of public speaking, in return for you supporting a guy like me. And over time, you became someone who shared my beliefs.”

: “Thanks to you, I was able to overcome my crisis these last few months…”

: “But if you ever find yourself in harm’s way on your journey, I will be there to help you. We’ll be comrades who reform the world… together.”

: Given what Caroline and Justine’s ability does, this is kind of pointless unless you’re on a low-level run. I don’t think the speedrun even bothers to get this.

: “Thank you for everything. All right, it’s time to begin!”

: “Does anyone out there have something they aspire to do? I met a certain young man… through a method that differs from mine, he was trying to reform the world.”

: Certainly not, you know, the guy standing right next to him.

: “As you know, that is a very large mountain to cross. Unfortunately, I am unable to travel the same path as him… however, I will not say goodbye. Because we will surely meet at the peak.”

: “He is desperately doing what he aspires to do. So I encourage you all. Please find what it is that YOU aspire to do. And I will support you. Because that is what I aspire to do.”

: Next time, we’ll go through three days of nothing but cutscene as we finish the Okumura arc. Don’t forget to check the “Alternate Scenes” header for the new Yusu-Gays!

[Timrod]

: Here’s Yusuke’s Rank 9 Romance scene. This was intended to happen after Joker and Yusuke leave Mementos - instead of running in Kawanabe, they get sushi instead… and Yusuke tries his best to confess his love to Joker.

: This comic was done by Salty Vanilla.

: And finally, Yusuke’s Rank 10, done by Yokobox:

: I apologize for not writing anything, but I’m just not a good romance writer. I hope this satisfies all those people who wanted a gay romance route with Yusuke.

[drcakey]

@Timrod

: I tried to find his old deviantart page, and when I searched his name the only thing I got was inflation porn of Sword Art Online from an unrelated artist. I have suffered for this LP.

The phrase “Sword Art Online inflation porn” is somehow even funnier than just “inflation porn”. I thought that attaching any anime to “inflation porn” made it funnier, but everything else actually makes it less funny and slightly depressing. Except maybe like, “Trigun inflation porn”. But that has too many n’s.

@Timrod

: Okay so wait… this was a guy who killed someone through inaction, had screwed over everyone he ever knew… and suddenly he gives a shit about Yusuke?

Eh, it works…okay. The painting Yusuke made is about there being more than one facet to the human heart, and the Confidant in general opens with Yusuke making a painting of pure darkness and ends with him making a painting of darkness and light. But it seems as much like an attempt to get the plot point of Madarame raising Yusuke to make sense as much as it seems like an actual story beat.

@Timrod

: Is “break a leg” even a thing in Japanese?

I was about to say it’s a common translation for “Ganbatte” but “Do your best” is literally the option above it.