I almost wish they’d just went whole hog with it and every confidant shows up in Hawaii one after the other just so you can potentially have a scene with them. Chihaya is there for a conference. Ohya is looking for the scoops. Sojiro just got very lost driving the bachelormobile. Sae shows up because Joker’s dosed up and the leading questions are making reality start breaking down in his memory.
Yoshida shows up because he was campaigning and fell through a time warp to Hawaii.
I just recorded Ryuji’s Hawaii scene, and yeah it’s pretty much exactly that.
Summary
: We’ll start the alternate Hawaii scenes with Ann’s version of it.
: “…Aren’t you staring a little too much? This isn’t the first time you’ve seen me in this.”
: “Oh, come on… but… I’m glad to hear you say that, so I guess I can let you off the hook. Hey, let’s go for a walk.”
: “I’ve heard it’s super delish! Come on, we should try it!”
: Do we know that Persona 5 wasn’t sponsored by the Garlic Shrimp industry? Are we going to have to fight a villainous Forrest Gump who is attempting to take over the world’s supply of shrimp?
: “All right! I love that about you! Hi! Could I get two plates of garlic shrimp, please?”
: Honestly though, you’d think there would be garlic shrimp places all over Japan given that shrimp is a staple of Japanese cuisine… and that Hawaiian food and Japanese food are very closely intertwined.
: “Huh? Oh yes, we are.”
: “You know about the Phantom Thieves!?”
: “This is incredible!”
: “Well, I don’t think that’s really how it works… let’s go.”
: “I told Shiho I wasn’t into this cheesy dating stuff… but now that I’ve actually tried it out… it’s really not that bad.”
: “I guess it’s because I have someone special to do it with. …Thanks.”
: giggle “I love you too. Here, you can have this. It’ll help you remember how special today was.”
: The Menehune Dolls were nerfed from the base game - in the base game, they gave 5 Strength and 5 Endurance. In Royal, they only give 20 SP and are useless.
: Menehune, by the way, are kind of the Hawaiian equivalent of Koropokkuru - they’re mythical dwarves who supposedly lived on the Hawaiian islands before the original native Hawaiians arrived there.
: A number of natural formations are supposedly built by the Menehune, including Menehune Fishpond on Kauai.
: I feel like there are entirely too many building and/or crafting dwarves. Where the hell is my pizza made entirely by magical dwarves?
: By the way, there’s an unused scene in the Hawaii trip that was complete to the point where it had both a Japanese and English dub where the party goes to the Kamehameha statue. Unfortunately, I can’t link the video because the person who took it decided to hack it into the final dungeon and the last few seconds of the video gives you a clear shot of it.
: “Hey, let’s come back to Hawaii sometime. I mean… by ourselves.”
: "Yes! Anyway, it’s starting to get dark… should we head back?
: It sucks too because Ann complains about the statue being boring and then Ryuji just dunks on her by saying she wanted to see it because she’s a DBZ fan.
: Hifumi having a scene here is very strange because there’s no way you can reach her Rank 9 by this point due to her Mementos request.
: “Um… do I look strange in this? Perhaps I should go change…”
: “Huh…? Oh, thank you very much. Um… shall we take a walk?”
: I love how everyone else sees the shrimp and goes nuts for it, but Hifumi’s just “Meh, it’s shrimp.”
: “Shrimp are symbolic of living a long life. Shall we have some?”
: “I wonder how they’ll taste…”
: “…Yes.”
: “…You’ve heard about the Phantom Thieves?”
: “S-Sure…”
: “This is a refreshing break from staring at a shogi board all day long. …I feel as if I’ll be able to come up with some great new moves once I return home.”
: “Were you bored spending time with me? We would’ve had a more enjoyable time if I had made better conversation…”
: Joker pats her hand. “You don’t pointlessly extend cutscenes. I like that in a girl.”
: “…I’m happy to hear that. Um… this is for you… I would be delighted if you remembered this day…”
: The Honu Charm grants Evade Curse, which kind of makes no sense when you consider that Hifumi is the same arcana as Lucifer… who is immune to Curse.
: Honu is the Hawaiian word for the green sea turtle, which is actually native to a bunch of places going as far north as China. There’s even a small population that lives near Okinawa.
: “If only we went to the same school…”
: “…Yes. I’d like that. …Sun is about to set. We should start heading back…”
: “Yes.”
: “Yo, you’re finally here. Let’s go make this vacation one to remember!”
: “Will this really work?”
: Joker realizes this is going to be another one of those cutscenes and immediately checks out.
: “I don’t think that’s what he meant…”
: “All right, we wanna go after solo girls that look bored, got it? Let’s roll!”
: Joker: “Hi, sorry, this is one of those dumbass cutscenes where Ryuji tries to hit on random women on the beach. Just slowly turn around and walk away and everything should be fine.”
: “Wait a sec, you smell somethin’ good?”
: “It’s coming from that food stand.”
: “Yo, Yusuke.”
: “Ah, it’s you.”
: “Hello.”
: “Hrm.”
: Yusuke knows that Mishima sucks.
: “That stuff good? Shrimp?”
: “Even in Hawaii, it’s the same ol’ Yusuke.”
: This answer is obviously non-canon, as we know that Yusuke cannot in fact be horny.
: “Heh, that’s an understatement.”
: “They’re incredible…!”
: “C’mon, we’ll rock paper scissors for 'em if this goes well.”
: Both Royal (specifically, Royal’s extra content) and Strikers kind of try to set up Yusuke with Futaba and it just doesn’t work. There is no dimension where Yusuke is not gay.
: “What a weird accent… Anyways, the four of us got some time on our hands, and-”
: “You’re including me in this!?”
: “Well, if you ladies aren’t doin’ anything, how 'bout we go somewhere more fun?”
: “For real!? Oh, well y’know, we-”
: “Ryuji!”
: “Uhhh…”
: “They brushed us away without a second thought…”
: I hate that of all the scenes, THIS had to be the one with unique dialog.
: “Oooh! I never thought of that!”
: “That’s not happening.”
: “This is absurd…”
: “Man… shit went south real fast…”
: There’s two explanations to this cutscene - either Yusuke ordered more shrimp, or he was carrying that plate of shrimp around the entire time, and I’m not sure I like either.
: “…Let’s just head back.”
: “Yeah, I’m beat…”
: This route does not give you a gift, nor does Joker get shrimp.
: “Being a chaperone is more difficult than I expected. I’ve had a lot of meetings… I honestly wanted to contact you earlier, but this is the first free moment I’ve had.”
: “That sounds lovely. All right then… let’s take a walk.”
: “Garlic shrimp? I’ve heard that’s a famous Hawaiian dish. Are you… adventurous when it comes to food?”
: Joker: “I mean, usually I just like reaching my hand into a bag of flour and eating it raw. I also enjoy blocks of raw tofu. What I’m saying is that you’re boring.”
: “Is that so…? I usually go for the standard fare, but this is just shrimp and garlic… so I should be fine. Well, let’s give it a try…”
: “Ah. Yes, we are.”
: “How do you know about them?”
: “Seems like we’re even making headlines abroad.”
: “O-of course, I’ll do just that.”
: “That’s amazing…”
: “Oh, it’s already so late. My sister would be upset if she saw me laid back like this. To tell you the truth, I wasn’t particularly eager to go on this trip. But if it’s like this… I think I’d like to come again.”
: “You know I’m graduating this year… um… I’d like you to have this.”
: “It’s not the best souvenir… but it will remind you of the memories we made today.”
: Joker later tells everyone at school that he dated a human-sized baked potato in Hawaii.
: “Thank goodness. Well, we should probably return before it gets dark.”
: And that’s all of them. The Tiki Keychain is probably the best gift for the mid-game because it grants an ability called Divine Grace that increases all healing done in combat by 50%. I believe this stacks with the Persona trait that increases healing.
Click Here for Update 61
: “I never thought I would have the chance to go on the one this year as well…”
: “It barely even felt like I was outta the country though.”
: “Even Yusuke showed up.”
: “I’m simply glad the storm didn’t make its way over here…”
: “It may not have been the most exciting trip, but we still had a good time.”
: “Honestly though, I’m thankful we didn’t have to deal with the storm. They truly are dreadful…”
: “So, what’d you end up doin’ yesterday? You keepin’ secrets from me? That’s against the bro code!”
: “Dude, for real!? …Actually, don’t say anything. Last thing I need is your secret lover comin’ after me with an axe.”
: “It felt like this trip went by in a flash. I’m not sure if I want to go home or stay here longer at this point…”
: “Hey, why don’t we shop for souvenirs together before it’s time to go?”
: “Ooh, count me in!”
: “Allow me to join you as well… although I have no funds for souvenirs.”
: “The traditional souvenir from Hawaii is usually chocolate… oh, but Morgana can’t eat chocolate. Well, he tells us that he’s not a cat, sooo maybe it’s fine?”
: “If we’re gonna get 'em souvenirs, we gotta pick stuff they’ll really wig out over.”
: “Why don’t we split up and look around, then?”
: Butter coffee is an actual thing done by various low-carb diet programs (shit like Atkins that’s half jangly key man bullshit) where you replace the cream or sugar in your coffee with butter to reduce carb intake.
: “There’s acai powder over here.”
: “Doesn’t it feel like you could just spend forever at one of these places?”
: “I know what you mean.”
: “Ooh, well said. In that case… let’s find somethin’ we wouldn’t buy ourselves, but we’d be happy to get as a gift.”
: “I mean, this is Futaba and Morgana we’re talkin’ about. Their standards for happiness are way too high. Yusuke, you find somethin’?”
: “Uhh… wh-why?”
: “Well, Futaba loves instant yakisoba. It brilliantly meet the requirements of an item I wouldn’t buy for myself, but would please me to receive.”
: “But can’tcha just buy one’a those in Japan? Aw, crap! We’re almost outta time!”
: “Okay, Yusuke and I will find Futaba’s souvenir and we’ll leave Morgana’s to you.”
: Joker just puts in a phone call to Sonic and gets the number of that hostess club that caters to animals that are thirsty for human women.
: Someone made a joke about the writers finding a reason for every single confidant to be here, and they kinda did.
: “Ahaha, that’s a much more appropriate greeting. Aloha!”
: “Huh?”
: “Who’s that?”
: “Find anything suitable?”
: “Hmm? That girl…”
: “Ah… sorry to be a bother! I’m Yoshizawa, a first-year. It’s nice meeting you all.”
: “…Oh! You’re that gymnast!”
: “The last meet was only a short while ago, though - you’re already training for the next one? You seem to be making quite the effort.”
: “Well, I absolutely have to get the results I’m looking for at the next competition. The team’s been training with a famous coach who lives here on the island.”
: “She’s working us especially hard… we end up in tears almost every day.”
: “Your dedication to training even when overseas is admirable. We should all learn from your example.”
: “Yup!”
: “Good luck at the next meet - we’re all rooting for you!”
: “Thank you! Your kind words may be what keeps me from crying today.”
: "Hey, uh… it’s fine if you do cry, though. You know what they say: ‘what doesn’t thrill ya makes ya stronger.’ "
: I never took Ryuji for a Kelly Clarkson fan.
: “…Agh! I almost forgot we’re outta time here. Ah, welp, I’m gonna go pay for my stuff.”
: “Ooh, I oughta do that too. See you later, Yoshizawa-san!”
: “Yes, it was nice meeting you all!”
: “Mmhm, I think so too. Well, I know I’m going to win for sure this time. I’ll prove to everyone what I’m made of.”
: “I bought it earlier today at this branch of a Japanese shrine here in Hawaii. I always used to buy some kind of charm before a big competition.”
: Wikipedia tells me that there are exactly eight Shinto shrines in Hawaii - four in Honolulu, one in Hilo, one in Maalaea, one in Wailuku and one in Waipahu.
: Incidentally, up until recently there was only one Shinto shrine in the entire mainland United States… run by a white guy in Washington state and not affiliated with any actual shrine.
: Since then, exactly one more has been constructed: the Shusse Inari Shrine in LA, which is a branch of a shrine by the same name in Japan.
: Basically what I’m saying here is that unless Kasumi went island-hopping, there’s no chance she ran into a Shinto shrine in Waikiki.
: “My sister was even more stringent with her own superstitions. The thing is… I forgot to pick one up before the last meet. I’ll be fine now, though. I just know it…”
: “I should probably get going. I almost forgot that I still need to pick up souvenirs for my family. Sorry for keeping you so long.”
: You know, there’s something kinda off about the principal - I mean in his design. His head almost seems like it’s on the wrong body - you’d expect him to look like the Duke from Resident Evil 8 with a head that big.
: It’s funny how Capcom got a fat character right in a game that has no real plot, but Hashino, a writer for a JRPG series almost ENTIRELY driven by its plot, can’t.
: What I’m saying is we need Persona 6 made by the Resident Evil team. It’d probably be a better action game than whatever the fuck Strikers is.
: Aww shit, the shrooms just kicked in.
: I think earlier I mentioned that when Futaba’s mother had a shutdown it should’ve been really fucking obvious. This is why.
: Uh-oh, here comes the Isekai Truck.
: I’m just picturing Futaba with her mother going “Okay, her eyes are rolled back into her head and she’s drooling black shit, that’s perfectly normal.”
: And now I’m wondering what the point of the “Make it look like a heart attack” was.
: “You get tanned a bit?”
: “How was Hawaii?”
: “You left the country and it was just ‘normal’?”
: “While you guys were off having fun, things here have gotten a bit more complicated.”
: Nah, masks haven’t really been hot since the vaccines hit - that’s more a 2020 thing.
: “I didn’t know they sold that kind of stuff.”
: “Should we try too? I mean, selling phantom thief merchandise.”
: “I don’t think we need to worry about that. They’ll get caught the second they try to sue. Not like I’d actually wanna sell their stuff anyway.”
: If I was that one guy who does cocktails based on game stuff I’d probably do one for P5, but you know what, let me try anyway.
: First, you take vodka. This represents Persona 2. Then you dump a capful of the vodka into a gallon of lemonade. This represents this game defanging fucking everything to the point that nothing means anything anymore and having characters that are at best bland copies of the ones Satomi Tadashi wrote.
: Now you might say “Timrod, that’s just a vodka lemonade recipe you stole” and you’re absolutely right, congratulations, you now understand Hashino’s entire modus operandi.
: “Well…”
: “There he is, the anti-thief detective. I hope he slips up and self-destructs.”
: “I can sense some chivalry behind their actions. They are clever to take the silent resentments of the public into account and relieve them. I believe that may be the secret to their popularity.”
: “This doesn’t change the fact that they are dangerous. However… no, I shouldn’t say any more…”
: “Oh no, I won’t be falling for that. I’ve learned my lesson after the previous backfire…”
: “These thieves are more popular than the police or politicians. What’s the world coming to?”
: “Rude!”
: “What’re you so angry about? Hey, I’m gonna go to the bathroom. Take care of any customers that show up.”
: “Seriously? Jet lag? Fine then. Tomorrow.”
: Oh, right! Recently, they announced a Part 6 for Lupin III. Guess what the color scheme on the poster for it is? Black and red.
: What Hashino steals, Monkey Punch steals right back, and I love it. I’m just hoping they don’t go the dumbass “Current Events Lupin” that happened in Part 5.
: “…You look sleepy.”
: “…Oh, that’s right. Maruki did stop by.”
: I mean, it’s kind of obvious he couldn’t be because that plot thread gets resolved in the base game.
: Yusuke is the single most genre-savvy character in this game.
: Now, if you’ve been following along, you might notice that Maruki has had a cutscene with every single party member… except Yusuke. I wonder why that is?
: There’s an optional IM thing right after this one, so let’s go through that.
: I’m surprised Ryuji would even have enough hair to hold a flower, given how short his hair is.
: And this is why Ryuji cannot find a girlfriend.
: I saw this and I’m like “There is no way this shot exists and no one has done Yusuke as Crash Bandicoot”. No one has. Once again, Deviantart is a disappointment.
: Of course, the question remains: if Yusuke is Crash, who gets to be Coco? Futaba’s a strong candidate, but Ann has the hair for it.
: “Never mind, you should probably get some rest. Don’t worry, it’s nothing important.”
: “You just got back from your trip and you’re already studying? How diligent.”
: “I have souvenirs for you.”
: “He suddenly stopped while crossing the road and was struck by a large vehicle. Death by external trauma. They say suicide was a strong possibility…”
: You know what would’ve made this more effective? If they had saved the principal’s death cutscene until now.
: “Principal Kobayakawa commited suicide!?”
: “But would someone about to kill themselves try to go to the police station? He even used a taxi to get there.”
: The other LP asked the question of “Why is the principal even in the shadowy cabal in the first place”, but I think a better question is “If he knew he was part of a shadowy cabal that can kill people remotely, why would he not have written something down?”
: “Do you mean… this might be another incident?”
: “Even if he had a sudden shift in his state of mind… it’s still unnatural. I can only suspect that he had a ‘change of heart’.”
: Oh boy, this scene. Makoto’s being THE SMART GIRL again.
: This should’ve been a dead giveaway the way Akechi’s “pancakes” line was.
: “W-Well… in prior cases, the changes of heart seemed to be done to make people confess their crimes. It’s hard to explain, but this incident seems contradictory to their usual modus operandi…”
: I’m surprised she didn’t stick an “our” in there by accident.
: “Did Principal Kobayakawa seem any different to you lately?”
: “I don’t really know. He rarely contacted the students, after all…”
: “I see… could something have happened during the school trip? Ah, you’re studying. I’m sorry to bother you.”
: And yet somehow, Sae has no suspicions about Makoto until we fucking tell her outright that Makoto was with John Persona.
: yawn “I’m so sleepy. You over your jet lag?”
: “For real? That was quick… oh yeah! Never mind that. Did you know about this? The Phantom Thieves are popular now! I was surprised when we got back to Japan.”
: “People’re actually payin’ attention to who we’re gonna target next. Ain’t that amazin’? I’m gettin’ really psyched. This is where we work hard!”
: “Let’s do something big again and surprise the world!”
: “Oh, mornin’. You’re back today too, huh?”
: “Yes! It’s good to see you both. Um, may I join you two on the way to school? I want to talk a bit more about the trip - and I want to hear all of your stories from Hawaii!”
: “You got it! Should I start with all the heroic stuff me and this dude did for the people in Hawaii?”
: You’re in the wrong timeline, Ryuji. This is the More Like Yusu-Gay timeline, not the one where you hit on every single woman in Waikiki.
: “Hell no. We didn’t do jack shit.”
: “Are people gonna blame us for this too?”
: The broken film reel effect where the date rapidly advances is getting slower. At the beginning, it was skipping several months at a time.
: I don’t remember if they made it so that when you get past Okumura’s palace the date stops at the day the entire Sae/Joker conversation takes place or not.
: “No matter how I think about it, that would’ve been impossible unless Makoto was helping you… but… she would never do anything so foolish…”
: “And is it true that you were completely uninvolved with the Kobayakawa case?”
: “What does this mean…? But I suppose targeting someone at Shujin again and actually taking their life would be nonsensical.”
: Come to think of it, wouldn’t this entire plan have been broken if the principal had just wrote something down? The first thing the police would do is search his office. How would they know he wouldn’t do it?
: “I have no reason to believe everything you’ve said. …However, it seems you aren’t the type of person who would lie just to protect themselves.”
: “I will acknowledge what I must. It’s more efficient that way.”
: “…In any case, let’s move on to the topic at hand. If you saw my investigation data, you would’ve had the same suspicions I did about Okumura.”
: “And if you looked into his Palace, you should’ve seen the answer to those suspicions. Tell me. What did the Phantom Thieve do to Okumura? What did you learn from him?”
: “Why did it turn out as it did? I need you to tell me everything.”
: You can probably guess what’s going to happen, but oh boy you haven’t seen how bad Okumura’s palace is. It’s supposedly godawful even after the overhaul it got in Royal.
: “People are already talking about it online.”
: “Nobody’s saying it’s 'cause of the Phantom Thieves… so far.”
: “People think he did it because that tabloid exposed how he was covering up Kamoshida’s abuses.”
: “Could it be that… we’re responsible for Principal Kobayakawa’s suicide?”
: “Whaddya mean?”
: “If we hadn’t changed Kamoshida’s heart, maybe this never would’ve happened…”
: “But then Kamoshida woulda kept doing what he did if we didn’t go and take him down.”
: "The comments I’ve seen are similar as well. ‘Only the Phantom Thieves are on our side!’ ‘I wish the Phantom Thieve would take down the police and the politicians of this country!’ "
: “It’s not just the news. There’s even Phantom Thieves merchandise now… I never expected we’d end up as such a big deal…”
: I mean, you were only in a highly anticipated sequel to one of the best JRPGs of all time that was completely botched because of Hashino.
: “It seems like the public would rather believe in us than in the adults. People are trying to get the Phantom Thieves to solve societal problems, not just personal ones.”
: “I mean, the principal was coverin’ up stuff, right? I guess… he got what was comin’ to him.”
: “That’s…”
: Makoto’s been surprisingly quiet this cutscene, and I think it’s because she just used all her SP (Smart Points) on that last cutscene with Sae.
: “Whoa, guys, let’s get back on topic. Weren’t we going to discuss the data we obtained from Niijima?”
: “You tell them, Inari…”
: “Why me? First, Prosecutor Niijima has been looking into the continued cases of people suddenly collapsing. It seems she is searching for a common thread to tie them all together.”
: “Some parts seem to be speculation, but she has cited a beneficiary of the majority of these incidents.”
: “Okumura? I feel like I’ve heard that name somewhere…”
: “From Big Bang Burger.”
: “Big Bang Burger!? For real!?”
: “You know, they only got famous sometime in the past few years. They even had a branch in Hawaii.”
: You… do realize that you’re saying this to a room full of people who were there - except Futaba, but she had the magic phone hack.
: “It says here they benefited both from scandals and the resignations of their competitors’ executives.”
: “That would seem to be the case.”
: “This is too suspicious though. Only one CEO is profiting from these seemingly accidental incidents. I think it’s natural to suspect he’s intentionally causing them.”
: “I get that, but still…”
: “That settles it then! He’s totally our next target!”
: “That’s right. Okumura is at the top of the rankings, after all.”
: “Hold on. That doesn’t necessarily mean he’s evil. If we jump into this too carelessly… beyond that, this Phantom Thieves fad is… unsettling.”
: “Yeah… the excitement levels don’t feel normal. We might want to let things calm down a bit first…”
: “You too, Ann!? You’re just gonna go against what people want!?”
: “Huh? No, but…”
: “For real…?”
: “Even you, Ryuji! You just back down the second someone disagrees with you!”
: “What?”
: Wait, what? He was all for it until he realized Ann and Yusuke wanted more time due to whole dumbass Chronicle thing they have going on.
: “I guess all you’ve been talking about is using the Phantom Thieves name to pick up girls anyway. Being hyped up because of the popularity is fine, but getting conceited over it is unacceptable.”
: “Hey, aren’t you actin’ for your own benefit here too?”
: “My appearance might have changed, but I’m still an admirable human! At the very least, I’m more admirable than some carnal blond monkey!”
: “You little…!”
: “Fine. I can take on some small-time target like Okumura on my own. Sorry, but it looks like I’ll be getting the credit for solving the mental shutdown mystery.”
: Is it both of you? Because I think it is.
: “All right then! Bring it on!”
: “Ryuji, stop!”
: “Morgana, wait!”
: “…See you.”
: “I bet he’s back in no time… dammit!”
: “All right. I’ve managed by myself before, and I can do it again now. I just need to take down Okumura before those guys do!”
: I mean, if by "managed by yourself’ you mean you got thrown in a cell in Kamoshida’s palace, then…
: “The public believes in the justice of the Phantom Thieves. They have no interest in that principal.”
: I don’t know if that was meant to be a pun or not.
: “I’m experiencing equal levels of frustration. My comments on TV turned everyone against me. Then again, I won’t allow mere criticism to break my spirit so easily.”
: “My suspicion after the hacker’s case last month is now conviction, thanks to the principal’s death. The mental shutdown cases and the psychotic breakdowns are surely the Phantom Thieves’ doing.”
: “I remember the data you showed me about Okumura Foods. Is that the basis for these beliefs?”
: “There have been frequent occurrences of mental shutdowns surrounding Okumura recently. If only there was a clear connection between him and the Phantom Thieves…”
: “Well, it would be problematic if there wasn’t one.”
: “So you’re jumping the gun here. You really told a man you would terminate his parental authority based purely on your speculation?”
: “I’m surprised you would say such a thing to the owner of a cafe you frequent…”
: “It’s all for the sake of the case.”
: “You may have the backing of the SIU’s director… but you’ve been far too aggressive, Sae-san. You’re trespassing into police territory. Don’t say nobody warned you if it becomes an issue later.”
: “We first need to know what methods the Phantom Thieves are using. The police can’t make a move unless that becomes apparent, after all.”
: “The opponent can’t be caught by following the rules. What need is there to stick to formalities?”
: It really did not take him long to get fucking owned, did it?
: It’s almost like this game’s trying to have a message but forgets the whole “Bonds between people are the real power” thing from Persona 4.
: Well, now we know that Haru has access to the Metaverse. Next time, we’ll see visit Okumura’s Palace, see Haru’s Phantom Thief form, and fail to simply shoot Morgana. We’re still on cutscenes until 09/18.
: Please also go vote in the poll, because I’m cutting it off three updates from now, on the update that contains the Mementos visit on 09/19. As it stands, the game will be migrated to the PS5 for the final few dungeons and I will be making my gamebreaker.
: You know though, I wonder where the principal got isekai’d to.
: “Hold on. You’re telling me that I could simply… kill the king… and then become king myself? Is this true?”
: “Oh, absolutely. Of course, you don’t want to just run in and stab him - that’s not going to work. Do you have a sniper rifle?”
: “What’s a sniper rifle? Is that like a pistol?”
: “Okay, the sniper rifle’s a no-go. What about… poison? You’ve got that, right? Just dump some in his food and be as far away as possible when he eats it.”
: “You can… put poison in food? Why would you do that?”
: “To kill the king.”
: “Right. I never thought about this before, but now that I’m aware I can kill the king, I’m going to do it. What about his son, though?”
: “Oh my, that was an unfortunate ox cart accident. Oh well, I can figure out the rest myself. I’m sure the guards will be able to catch a sheltered ten year old…”
Principle Fatguy shoulda known better than to go for a walk when the Madoka Magica lighting is out. You know something bad’s going to happen to you when the scene is lit like a Madoka scene.
About the principal not writing anything down, I think that speaks to how disjointed the writing in P5 is. Typically in a thriller or the like, when there’s a character who works for the evil organization but who they want to get rid of, because he’s Having Second Thoughts or Has Outlived His Usefulness, that character will in their death scene be sitting down to write a confession or meeting with a lawyer or something. But then the lawyer comes into the room with a gun, or the guy grabs his chest because his heart medication had been replaced with poison, or a ninja stabs him in the back and then blows up his computer or something. Whereas in P5 he’s just walking and then gets hit with a magic heart attack for…no real reason.
As I was typing this I did realize it was mentioned he died in front of the police station, so maybe he was going there to reveal his involvement with the bad guys? But if he was, that’s not information that needed to be concealed from the audience.
The Phantom Thieves find Morgana’s broken, bleeding body. He slowly breathes his last words, “Joker…I understand…the truth…now. In a game about…exploiting elemental weaknesses…you can’t win…if you can only cast…one…element. There is…another…sky…”
Click Here for Update 62
: Time for another update that’s nothing but cutscenes.
: Joker: “Listen. For the first time in six months, I was able to sleep without hearing him being horny for Ann. My room was quiet and peaceful. I don’t think I want him back.”
: “I see… I just kinda expected he’d come home when he got hungry… oh, maybe he went to someone else’s place. Let’s ask.”
: I somehow doubt that, given that it seems like everyone else needs to take the train to get here.
: You know what would’ve been a good scene? A scene showing Joker sneaking Morgana people food at night because Morgana refuses to eat cat food.
: “Aren’t they all being way too cold about this? Oh well. Have a good day…”
: " ‘The Okumura Way’… and it was even signed! With his logical management skills, he revived his company that was on the verge of bankruptcy. He then started Big Bang Burger, a bold and creative venue."
: Dipshit business guy that opens a burger joint because his business fails isn’t exactly what I’d call bold or creative.
: “Okumura’s words are a philosophy on life itself! How could she sell that to a secondhand shop? But, in times like these, getting one’s mind to switch gears is key. Wouldn’t you agree, Kurusu-kun?”
: If this was one of the mainline SMT games, Inui would lead a cult dedicated to the worship of Jeff Bezos.
: “A secondhand shop is mostly meant for sale of goods and supporting charitable causes, but… what does a pawn shop offer that a secondhand shop doesn’t?”
: Ooh! I know this one! Secondhand shops don’t have reality TV shows made about them where where one of the stars gets arrested for having a house full of guns and meth and as a result the network is forced to cancel the show.
: “Correct. Thrift stores are comparatively less focused on money management… but larger businesses could donate unused stock to them, and use them as a tax write-off that way.”
: I’m not sure how popular that is in the US, because from what I know, most places that have excess inventory will try to sell them first - usually to “liquidators” who then sell the product to discount stores.
: “It takes incredible business acumen to figure out how to be both profitable and charitable at once.”
: The thing is though, if you have enough excess inventory that you have to consider donating it for tax purposes, that’s usually a sign that your business has management issues.
: “I just remembered; there are rumors President Okumura may be getting into politics. It is true that the current administration is incompetent in a number of ways…”
: “I would love to have a charismatic man like him leading the country.”
: Oh god dammit, not Daleks. I’ve watched Star Trek before, but I draw the line at Dr. Who.
: I don’t remember if the game ever explains why Haru already has a Persona or not.
: “I’m sure he’ll come back when he gets hungry.”
: I think this is supposed to be a reference to how when you exit a dungeon and get the “Here’s what you did while you were in there” screen, it starts with Joker breaking through some glass.
: “Huh… wonder if someone’s got a grudge against that guy…”
: I kinda fudged this a little bit - Futaba sends the first line right after the line about the windows being broken, but I missed it.
: Clearly, without Morgana complaining at us to get to bed, we can go wherever we want and do whatever we want to do.
: So, here’s what I hate about this scene, and to explain that I’m going to need to spoil Persona 4. At one point in Persona 4, Nanako gets kidnapped and winds up in the hospital.
: This is the cut-off for her S-Link as well as Dojima’s - except in Golden, where I believe they give you a few extra days after that arc ends.
: During that time, neither Dojima nor Nanako are home, and the usual theme that plays when you’re at Dojima’s house changes. Specifically, it changes to this.
: Persona 4 was a game in which Shoji Meguro had exactly zero bad ideas. I don’t know what the fuck happened with 5 - it’s still Shoji Meguro and the same people who made the Persona 4 OST.
: This game, which had several times the budget of P4? Nothing. You get the same music as always. This, by the way, is why I haven’t been linking music outside of the major vocal themes, because it all sucks.
: There’s one other instance that I didn’t capture (purely by accident) earlier, when you do the school thing with Inui. Instead of Morgana narrating, Joker will just go “I think I got a little smarter after that question.”
: You might ask why I didn’t wait until after The Endless Cutscene to go to Chihaya first for a reading, and the reason is that we’re maxing out Kindness on… I think the 22nd. It wouldn’t make much of a difference.
: There are also unique lines for every single item in Joker’s room while Morgana is gone. I don’t know why they bothered doing this but did not have Shoji Meguro do an “Alone” version of the music.
: In the base game, it could easily have been because of the Sega buyout and the entire game being shifted several times during development, but they had ZERO FUCKING EXCUSE not to do this in Royal.
: One thing I’m not showing because it’s repetitive - after each thought, Joker goes “I’m worried about Morgana…” and holy shit if they had paired this with music I would probably have loved this scene.
: I don’t know if I’ve showed it off before, but you can sit on the couch in Joker’s room and Morgana will give you his thoughts on what’s happening.
: They clearly don’t own the entire building, given that there’s a directory in front.
: “If anything, getting into the real building is impossible…”
: “Mona seriously went to a Palace based on somewhere like this?”
: “It’s definitely on a different scale than the ones we’ve dealt with previously…”
: “I searched Okumura online. He’s totally up to something. Don’t you think he’s guilty too?”
: “I’m positive I’m right!”
: “We’re here for Mona.”
: “I know, I know. We gotta make sure we squeeze the juice on those mental shutdown things outta him too.”
: This makes it sound like Morgana knows about the shutdowns. He doesn’t.
: Even though it’s obvious that Okumura’s a villain, it would’ve been way better writing to have it be that someone was framing him for all these murders and he was just kind of an asshole to begin with.
: “Huh? The hell?”
: “Ohhh, so that’s why it’s called Big Bang Burger. Big bang is space lingo, y’know.”
: “Um, not necessarily… So the concept behind the store-branch name came from the CEO himself.”
: “Outer space, hm? How exciting…”
: “We better be able to breathe once we get in there.”
: “President Okumura must be on guard, what with everything that’s been in the news.”
: “That bastard! He’s just causin’ more trouble for us!”
: “It’s as though we’re in a film… I wish I had brought my sketchbook.”
: “Mona might be in here somewhere, yeah? C’mon, we gotta get lookin’ for him.”
: Welcome to Okumura’s Palace. In the base game, this dungeon was a fucking nightmare that absolutely no one liked. It was heavily re-tooled for Royal… but we won’t see that for a while.
: The first thing I remember thinking about this dungeon was “Wow, this is just the space station levels of Sonic Adventure 2 in dungeon form”.
: “Hm? What is this?”
: “Let’s see here… looks like a lever for the elevator to me. Aaand it should be working now!”
: “For real? You’re amazin’, Navi.”
: “Mwehehe, that was nothing.”
: “It’s certainly reassuring having you with us. Anyway, let’s try using the elevator.”
: We enter with only 20% security level as opposed to the usual 40%, but it doesn’t show us Okumura’s shadow. He’s a reference I’m going to have to explain, involving a dumbass anime from the 70s.
: “They’re saying something… you must adhere to your shifts… if you don’t like it, you can quit… however, you will not be compensated.”
: “What’re they talkin’ about?”
: “These robots are part of Okumura’s cognition, correct? That means they represent…”
: “This is pure speculation… but this is most likely how the workers of Okumura Foods are viewed by their CEO.”
: Oh my god, is that… is that pattern recognition by Makoto? Soon she’ll grasp the concept of having a personality.
: “So he thinks they’re his robots!?”
: “If they’re treated like this in reality as well… then the company truly is exploiting them.”
: “See!? Okumura IS a piece of shit! Just like I said.”
: “Mona is our main objective here.”
: “He doesn’t seem to be anywhere nearby. Let’s search further in.”
: “What does it mean by that?”
: “This security system might be a bit of a problem…”
: Ryuji trying to shoulder charge a foot-thick steel airlock.
: “Look at it… there’s no way we can force that thing open.”
: “We’ve hit a blockade quite early. Will we have to control the real Okumura’s cognition to pass?”
: “Oh, that means Mona hasn’t been able to proceed any further either. So if he’s here in the Palace, he would have to be somewhere before this door…”
: Haru’s model looks like a bootleg of her anime portrait. This is why her forehead is so huge - it’s because of her hat.
: “Those clothes… could she be…?”
: “A black mask!? Wait, is she the one Madarame and Kaneshiro were talking about!?”
: Haru is basically a carbon copy of Elly personality-wise, so while she has definitely killed before, she is not the black mask.
: “So… she’s the reason for all those people goin’ brain dead!? It was a girl this whole time!?”
: “Are you the one who has been following us!?”
: “Say something, dammit!”
: “Mona!”
: “You’re okay!”
: “Uh, it hasn’t been that long.”
: “If you came for the Treasure, you should just go home with your tail between your legs.”
: Someone could have shot Morgana by now and I don’t know why they haven’t.
: “Actually, we were looking for you.”
: “The Treasure will be taken by me and this…”
: Now, I’ve never really been into Sailor Moon, but I’m pretty sure this is meant to be a Sailor Moon reference. The music changes at this point to reflect how stupid this is.
: “Beauty Thief?”
: “I’ll have you know she’s a Persona-user too!”
: “She really called herself that?”
: “Any tension that was in the air has just gone out the window…”
: “Mona already said that…”
: Haru is another physical/magic hybrid character, but has a way better moveset than Yusuke - she learns Psiodyne and most of the higher-tier gun skills, but no boosts or amps.
: In the base game, she was REALLY good because guns had limited ammo, making her one of the easiest ways to take down gun-weak enemies. Royal nerfs her a bit due to the recharging gun ammo.
: “You are not qualified to be Phantom Thieves! Do you even understand what it means to be a phantom thief? An admirable phantom thief is…”
: “Yeah, tell them!”
: “You! What do you think it means!?”
: I mean, given that this game is heavily based on Lupin III and Lupin has outright stated that he lives for the thrill of stealing shit…
: “I see! Enough with the idle chitchat!”
: “You started it…”
: “Mona, who the hell is she?”
: “Me?”
: “Learn to take a hint!”
: “Huh?”
: “What?”
: “What was it again?”
: “You came all the way out here just to say that?”
: “I dunno… it kinda feels like she ain’t dangerous at all.”
: “We don’t have time to chat!”
: It’s fine, I’m sure Haru and Morgana can take on three daleks and some floating orbs.
: “Behind you!”
: “Here they come!”
: “Huh? Huh!?”
: How did they get this far in and not fight anything? Is Haru like that one photographer girl in Persona 1 who got through half of Thanatos Tower by herself?
: “Snap out of it! We need to go!”
: Oh, come on! We could fucking take them! One of them’s probably a Decarabia! They barely even count as enemies!
: “Bet you’re tired…”
: “That was quite rough… I haven’t felt exhaustion like this since I first awakened to my Persona.”
: “What’ve you been looking at all this time?”
: “Sorry. I just didn’t wanna stand around and wait. The burglary at Okumura Foods is circulating the news again.”
: “Uuugh! Dammit! Why’d they keep comin’ after only me!? It’s all 'cause little miss Beauty Thief opened that door!”
: Atlus could’ve made that part playable to, I dunno, break up the monotony of roughly three hours of nothing but cutscene, but that would’ve required effort… and we all know what Hashino’s running catchphrase is about things that require effort.
: “That door most likely had a biometric-authentication lock, so how’d she get it open?”
: Oh, that’s because Haru’s last name is Okumura.
: “I wonder who that girl could be.”
: “We were told that she’s a Persona-user, correct? Do you believe it’s true?”
: “Well, she did look like one…”
: “Did Mona betray us?”
: “No…”
: “I don’t think he’s betrayed us. If he had, it’d make more sense for him to directly threaten us, such as exposing our identities.”
: How the fuck would he even do that? He’s a cat who can only talk to a very small number of people.
: “Either way, how the hell’s Morgana related to that Beauty Thief?”
: “Considering her tone and physique, she looked about our age.”
: I mean, considering she goes to the same school you do, is in the same year you are… oh, and she was in that scene at the fireworks festival.
: “For real? Where at!?”
: “At school… I think.”
: “What, what!? But, now that you mention it… I feel like I’ve seen her too… is she a student of Shujin?”
: Ryuji forgetting that he saw her twice not even a week ago.
: “I just feel like that’s the case. She did have a mask on, after all. The registry in the student council room has photos of every student. Let’s check them all tomorrow.”
: “If we can figure out the identity of the Beauty Thief, that may help us regain contact with Morgana.”
: “Futaba and I should further probe into Okumura Foods then. It’d be best if we investigate how sudden mental shutdowns are connected to them.”
: Before we go to sleep, all of the items in Joker’s room have different lines from last night.
: Next time, more cutscenes… and then I transfer the save to the PS5 and start building my gamebreaker.
Summary
To understand Okumura’s palace, you have to be familiar with an anime called Space Battleship Yamato. Yamato was one of the first TV anime - the first part began airing in October 1974 and ended in March of 1975… so this is a few years after the first Lupin III series but a few years before the more famous Lupin III Red Jacket.
It went on to spawn three TV series which aired throughout the 1980s (the third one was cancelled partway through) and several movies before going into copyright hell for about twenty years. It was rebooted in 2011 as Space Battleship Yamato 2199, with the second part rebooted as Space Battleship Yamato 2202. I’ve seen about half of 2199 and half of 2202 and I can tell you that both suck.
While it’s relatively unknown in the west, Yamato is kind of a cultural icon in Japan - maybe not to the extent of Akira or Evangelion, but pretty close. It’s kind of ironic, because Yamato was one of the first anime series to receive a localization.
The less we talk about Star Blazers, the better.
Anyway, at its core, Yamato is basically about World War II in space. The background plot involves Earth being at war with an alien planet called Gamilas, which has a vastly superior space fleet and regularly sends space nukes to Earth, which have reduced the planet to an irradiated wasteland.
Both the original anime and the remake open with the main character finding a crashed spaceship on Mars with a dead lady inside. The dead lady has a magic alien data thing telling Earth (which is basically Space Japan) to send a ship to a planet in the Large Magellanic Cloud called Iscandar, where they can pick up a device that can reverse the effects of the space nukes.
In response, Earth’s remaining government excavates the remains of the Yamato, an Imperial Japanese battleship that was built to fight the US Navy and their superior numbers. In 1974, it was assumed that the Yamato’s wreck (it was sunk defending Okinawa) was intact, but in 2015 they found out it actually blew the fuck up because an American bomb hit the munitions bay. The Yamato is rebuilt, outfitted with a super engine and a super gun that can kill anything (when the plot demands) and sent off to find Iscandar.
This is where the remake starts splitting off, and why the remake sucks. In the original anime, Gamilas is basically Space Germany and is run by a race of blue-skinned Space Nazis. They have German names, speak a fictional language which sounds a lot like German, act exactly like Nazis, and their leader is named Dessler. To cement this, his name is changed to “Abelt Dessler” in the remake.
This is why the remake sucks: at the start, they try to change it so that Gamilas is Space America (complete with imagery of a Gamilian bomber dropping two nukes on Earth and the reveal that the war started because Earth attacked a Gamilian fleet unprovoked) but then immediately backpedal on that because otherwise they might be making a political statement about how a sizeable portion of the US at that time probably would’ve aligned politically with the Nazis.
Oh, right. Dessler. We need to talk about him, because he’s who Okumura is based off.
I’m going to reveal this a bit early, but here’s what Okumura looks like and what his shadow looks like.
The other LP didn’t understand this, and claimed that Okumura was poorly written - but didn’t understand that he’s poorly written because he’s a wholesale ripoff of Dessler with slightly different hair. A lot of people who played the base game thought Okumura’s shadow was supposed to be a Darth Vader reference, but no.
Oh, right. The other reason both the original show and the remake kinda suck is that there’s a second series where the Space Nazis have allied with Space Japan against an entity a lot of people assume is supposed to be Space America. You can kind of see why that might be a bit of a problem (and also why they try to hamfist Gamilas into being Space America in the remake).
That’s about all you need to know about this garbage anime. In the next actual update, more cutscene and then Mementos.
At least the theme song slaps. I haven’t found the upper limit on Isao Sasaki I can listen to.
So is it just every teenager with a portrait that’s got a Persona or does everyone with a portrait secretly have a Persona? Are we going to run into Sae wearing a goofy mask in a palace and she still doesn’t recognize Makoto (because of the mask, obviously).
I appreciate that this chapter of the game has a slightly different structure than previous ones. Though I did realize that this is partly illusory, because the Hawaii trip is secretly not an intermission but part of the long lead-up to entering the dungeon every chapter has.
: People haven’t been voting in the poll, so I figured I’d give you all an incentive to do so by allowing you to witness the birth of my gamebreaker. This update will also cover the DLC that exists for Royal.
: P5R has $60 worth of DLC. Most of it is useless - there’s a $15 DLC that simply adds the free costumes to Kasumi. No thanks.
: We get a shit-ton of DLC notifications on load.
: The costumes are handled as items, so you can mix and match if you want. Honestly, the costume packs are super fucking lazy, as we’re about to see.
: This is the Persona 4 one. Morgana gets a lazy recolor while everyone else gets the generic NPC female uniform or the generic NPC male uniform. Ryuji’s is the laziest - they just retexure his existing outfit from the start of the game.
: The Persona 2 ones are equally lazy, with Yusuke not getting Jun’s outfit and Ryuji not getting Eikichi’s. Also, all of the female characters are Lisa for some reason.
: In Royal, Network Fusion (also called Public Execution) unlocks earlier than it did in the base game. It’s time to make my gamebreaker.
: Unfortunately, you can only use this once per in-game day - but the bonus skills have a chance to be added in any network fusion you do. I uploaded our Anzu and Lilim.
: The DLC Personas are available for free from the compendium the first time you summon them. There’s a normal version and a higher-leveled recolored “Picaro” version.
: So, how broken is Network Fusion?
: VERY BROKEN. That’s a Level 99 Yoshitsune right there - one of the best (if not THE best) Personas in the base game.
: I fuse some garbage with a Level 83 Raoul. Raoul is a paid DLC Persona. LOOK AT THIS SHIT.
: Spell Master is a skill exclusive to very high level Personas. This is going on every Persona I make from now on… provided you don’t stop me.
: We also have Psycho Force (Tier 4 single-target Psychic spell) AND Psy Amp. We could EASILY get Psy Boost via alarm abuse and then fuse everything onto something with actual stats.
: Meanwhile, I fused some trash and stuck a Megido card in to get Megidola. I am now one alarm away from Megidolaon, and then by the time we do Okumura’s dungeon I can and will get Almighty Amp.
: You can still stop this. There is still time. Vote!
Since SMT If has never been localized, downloading the DLC for it should come with a link to the LP of If on the archives.
How much would YOU pay just to have one party member get the same DLC costumes as everyone else? Forty dollars? Thirty dollars?! NO my friend, it can all be YOURS for the LOW, LOW PRICE of FORTEEN UNITED STATES DOLLARS AND NINETY NINE UNITED STATES CENTS!
Click Here for Update 63
: Two more days of cutscene before we get to do anything.
: Oh, right. This update will contain a depiction of what’s basically spousal abuse, so if you’re not comfortable with that, feel free to skip this update.
: I mean, calling yourself Beauty Thief would be perfectly normal if you’re in a Mad Max clone where instead of gasoline and water people fight over expensive cosmetics.
: Gang of teenage girls with guns driving post-apocalyptic motorcycles trying to raid a convoy carrying limited-edition makeup.
: By the way, the other LP complained about the whole “Beauty Thief” thing not making sense and I don’t think they realized it’s not supposed to make sense. She’s doing it because she wants to be a magical girl.
: “Man, this girl’s hot! Aww, but she’s younger than me.”
: “Ryuji!”
: “No way! She’s the same age as me!? She looks like my dad’s friend…”
: “Get back to work.”
: “Why don’t we take a break? It’s no surprise our concentration is waning.”
: “They’re all starting to look the same to me…”
: “Think we can really find her?”
: “Someone sure is confident.”
: I wonder if Haru has at any point considered selling advertising space on her massive forehead.
: “Wasn’t the Beauty Thief like this too? Especially the fluffy hair.”
: They should’ve had a scene where Haru holds Ann and Makoto up and just goes “Put your bangs in the bag and no one gets hurt.”
: “That’s gotta be her!”
: “It would also explain how she got past the door’s biometric reader… this may be worth looking into.”
: Now, it’s right about here that I’d like to point out an actual plot hole. The party could do something that would allow them to easily bypass that door without needing Haru.
: We’ll see what that is after the next dungeon.
: “By why was she at the Palace?”
: “We could just make her spill the beans herself.”
: “She may have already gone home for the day, so let’s try tomorrow. I’m going to lock up. I’ll see you all tomorrow.”
: “Really? In that case… if you could help me unload this…”
: “You’re a second-year, aren’t you? That makes me just a tad older. Um… have we met somewhere before?”
: “The only daughter of Kunikazu Okumura, CEO of Okumura Foods. Care to explain why you were inside your father’s Palace?”
: “Ahh… so that’s where we met. Wow, you figured it out in just a day. You looked really good in that biker gang outfit!”
: She’s being sincere here, but I like to think she’s mocking Makoto. “Congratulations, you found me and my gigantic forehead. You sure are THE SMART GIRL.”
: “Let’s… not talk about that… so why did you become a phantom thief?”
: “Things have grown quite serious lately… that’s why I want to make amends, even though it may only be for my own satisfaction. But I wonder if this is just running from the problem…”
: “Where did you meet Morgana?”
: “It was pure coincidence. I found a lonely-looking cat in front of our office building.”
: “And that was Morgana?”
: No, it was Raidou Kuzunoha’s talking cat, which I just now found out about. Raidou’s cat is also black, though it’s less of a dipshit than Morgana is because Hashino is an unoriginal fuck.
: And before you ask, Hashino had nothing to do with the Raidou games. He was a “planner” on Devil Summoner and Soul Hackers, but not on the Raidou games - at least according to the wiki.
: “And when I followed him, I ended up in the Metaverse… there’s no way for me to change my father’s company… but if I became a phantom thief, I thought I’d at least be able to change him.”
: “…Isn’t there any way we can work together?”
: “Besides, the Phantom Thieves, who should be helping the weak, are not helping their own teammate.”
: “…”
: “I just want my father to atone for his crimes. And help Mona-chan, who gave me a chance to do just that.”
: “But aren’t our objectives the same? It’d be better if we work-”
: “No, thank you. I will do this with Mona-chan, and him alone.”
: “It seems getting her cooperation won’t be possible. Let’s consult with the others on our next move. We shouldn’t ignore Morgana either.”
: Dessler is upset because the Yamato just Wave Motion Gunned half his fleet around Pluto to death, and his ingenious plan to bounce lasers off satellites to bypass their point defenses didn’t work.
: “…That’s right. Make it a priority. I finally get a foothold into politics and this happens. Phantom Thieves? Hmph!”
: “Did the media ask you anything?”
: “No, not at all. Um, what’s this about the Phantom Thieves?”
: “It’s jealousy of the successful. Nothing but the barks of the masses who lack the resolve to sacrifice what’s needed for their well-being.”
: “Both the young and the old are overjoyed with some foolish idols. This country has no future.”
: His dialog sounds fucking stupid until you realize who he’s supposed to be. Trust me when I say Yamato is FULL of scenes like this. Dessler has a wine glass in his hand in about half the scenes he’s in, even when it makes no sense for him to have one. ESPECIALLY if it makes no sense for him to have one.
: “What if they do exist? What if these Phantom Thieves really can steal hearts?”
: “Are you still having doubts about me?”
: “No…”
: “More importantly, I hope things are going well with that young man.”
: “…Yes, father.”
: “Very well then. He may not seem like it, but he’s still the son of an influential politician. Be cordial with him. He’ll eventually become a necessary connection for this company - or rather, for me.”
: “…I understand. I will do the best I can.”
: Before we’re forced into bed, all the items in Joker’s room have ANOTHER set of unique lines. Seriously what the fuck, they had someone write all this shit but couldn’t do a fucking song for it?
: “Come on, you’re young! Hawaii doesn’t even count as going to a foreign country.”
: Try telling Customs and Border Patrol that.
: “It’s full of Japanese tourists. I bet you were able to speak Japanese wherever you went, weren’t you? The shopkeepers will use Japanese to pressure you into buying things as if their life depended on it.”
: “I’m used to it though, so I actually haggle with them in English. Mr. Kurusu! Show me how much you know your English.”
: My cat doesn’t need to meow, he merely steps on my face at 4AM until someone feeds him.
: “Good! In ancient Egypt, it’s said that the tongues of liars and blasphemers were cut out and fed to cats. It’s also possible it came from the pirates’ ‘cat-o-nine-tails’ leaving a prison too stung to talk.”
: “There are actually a lot of other expressions involving cats. ‘A cat has nine lives,’ for instance. That relates to how cats seem capable of surviving all kinds of dangers- - even ones you’d expect to kill them.”
: Here’s a shot of what happens when you answer a question without Morgana being there to narrate. Clearly, the social stats are a thing like Metroid Other M where Joker has to authorize himself to use them.
: “I know already! And why’re you just sayin’ that to me!?”
: “We need to be wary of the Beauty Thief too.”
: “So we’re doing a stakeout here.”
: “We better be ready for the long haul!”
: “Hold that thought.”
: “Do you have business with us?”
: "Aren’t you fulfilling the requests on the Phantom Aficionado Website? Even leaving comments? It’d be best if you didn’t accept them so recklessly.’
: “The police will track you down in no time. If that were to happen, we’d be caught up in it as well.”
: “That’s not what I intended! But… that would be my fault… I’m actually not that great with machines… I’m truly sorry.”
: It’s non-canon, but in P5 Dancing Haru mentions that she does not know how to use a computer… because she’s Sailor Moon.
: “Why’re you apologizing!?”
: “They’re telling us for our sake. We should be thanking them.”
: “Won’t you please put what happened behind us?”
: “So I’m the one you’re here for? You guys need me after all? Is that it?”
: We’re lying, obviously.
: “Really?”
: “Lady Ann…”
: “E-Everyone, shouldn’t you be using code names?”
: Nah, they kinda threw that out the window three dungeons ago.
: “Ryuji didn’t really mean what he said, you know? He wants to apologize…”
: “Well, it’s like… it was my bad too… I mean, I don’t mind if you’re not human or if you’re useless!”
: “What a douche…”
: “Ann’s setup was completely ruined.”
: “Get in, Beauty Thief! If you can’t do this, don’t count on me ever coming back!”
: “Did he even think about how long he made us wait!? Fine, we’ll do this!”
: “Geez! This isn’t what we came here to do!”
: “We need to go after him and talk things through.”
: “Hm… we are facing a car here. Does it not seem somewhat reckless to chase him on foot?”
: I mean, if Death Stranding taught me anything (apart from “Skip every cutscene, they’re all dumb”) it’s that all you have to do is wait for the car to hit a small rock and go QWOPmode.
: “You sure give up easy. There are dead ends all over this floor. We can do this if we manage to corner him in one.”
: This is an entirely scripted sequence, unlike the thing in Futaba’s palace where you had to at least try a little bit.
: “Hmph, how naive. You really think you’ve captured me?”
: It’s hard to get a good shot of, but Morgana attempts to run Joker over… and this is why I hate Morgana.
: People have pointed out that technically it’s Haru doing that, because Morgana isn’t self-driving, but still. He could easily have seen where that was going to go and stopped being a car.
: “Shit, look out!”
: “Sheesh, what would he have done if he ran us over!?”
: “Stop complaining and let’s get after him again!”
: I like that the writers completely forgot that Makoto’s Persona is a motorcycle.
: “Mona! Will you listen!?”
: “Shut up! I’ve got nothing to talk about with you guys!”
: “Ngh, not again…!”
: “There will be no end at this rate…”
: This doesn’t make a whole lot of sense until you realize that Haru is driving, and she’s got about the same level of driving skill that Maya did.
: “Yup. Mona, are you okay!?”
: “You gotta hear us out, Morgana!”
: “There’s nothing I have to talk to you about.”
: “Come on. There’s no need to keep being so stubborn.”
: “I can’t just give in like this! I have my pride to protect!”
: “It seems we’ve fallen for the oldest trick in the book.”
: “Ugh… those two…”
: “It’ll never end at this rate… what do we do now?”
: “I don’t hear the sound of his engine at all… could they have left Mementos?”
: SMART GIRL alert.
: “Dammit! Freakin’ Morgana!”
: “Are you sure that was what you wanted?”
: “…Of course it was!”
: Oh look, it’s Discount Yoshikage Kira.
: “I would never do such a thing!”
: “Ow!”
: “Haru! You little - let go of Haru!”
: Clearly Hashino has trouble remembering which Jojo series was which, because this is a direct reference to Iggy’s death scene in Stardust Crusaders.
: “Dammit… I AM useless…! Someone… anyone… is anybody out there!?”
: He… does realize no one can understand him, right?
: “Was that… Mona’s voice?”
: “Hey, over there! That doesn’t seem right to me!”
: “The hell are you doing to our friend!?”
: He’s thinking “The cat has already been made a bomb by my Killer Queen.”
: “Fian- what? But she’s clearly fighting you!”
: Joker’s like “What are you gonna do, pull some time travel bullshit out of your ass and then get run over by an ambulance?”
: “I’m fine, but Mona-chan…”
: “This is nothing…”
: “Was that person really your fiance?”
: “Whoa, so you’re engaged then!?”
: “That didn’t seem like an ordinary fight though… shouldn’t you talk to your parents about it?”
: “…I think it’d be useless. I’ll just be told to beg for his forgiveness, even if it means groveling on the ground.”
: “…It seems she has her reasons.”
: I mean, Haru only just tried to kill everyone twice with Morgana as a facilitator. Clearly we can instantly forgive all of that. I mean, it worked perfectly in Ni no Kuni 2… apart from the part where Evan fucking dies before his son reaches adulthood, presumably due to being murdered.
: “Of course. We’ll take her to your place, yeah?”
: “…Thanks.”
: This scene would’ve worked a lot better had it not been for the whole attempted murder thing. Why they even put that in is beyond me.
: “Did you get enough rest?”
: “Mona-chan?”
: “To be frank, there’s no assurance that I’ll turn back into a human either… this can’t be called a fair deal. That’s why I think we should split up.”
: “Who said we’re acting as Phantom Thieves for your sake? I’m doing it to expand my own horizons.”
: “No need to tiptoe around the situation. We’re splitting up.”
: “Do you remember what you said to me when I found you collapsed in the Metaverse? That you’re a Phantom Thief. That you’re going to get stronger and have the others acknowledge you.”
: “You love being here, don’t you?”
: “O-of course not…”
: “I was lying to myself too, but when I formed a contract with my Persona… I understood it all. Doing this because my father is doing something horrible… was nothing but a superficial reason.”
: Haru is kind of a plot hole. What the game hasn’t told us (yet) is that she doesn’t actually have a Persona. She’s got the thief outfit for some reason, but no Persona.
: The thing is, they could’ve done something with this. Have it be that when you first meet her, she’s in a different thief outfit she made herself, and then switches later into her real one.
: But of course, Hashino is an unoriginal fuck and could not find someone to steal that off of - other than, I dunno, the myriad of western cape comics that have done just that.
: “The truth is, I-”
: “Don’t want to get married, right?”
: “I thought that since an adult with responsibilities made the decision, it couldn’t be wrong. I was such a fool, tied down by vague notions and stayed quiet as my marriage partner was chosen…”
: “Phew… that’s how I truly feel.”
: “Wh-why’re you looking at me all of a sudden?”
: “Mona-chan, why is it that you always talked about becoming human again?”
: “That’s… at first, I only thought of this team as a temporary dwelling until I regained my memories. But I wasn’t making any progress on finding out what I am or why I was born…”
: “Morgana…”
: “…I wanted a reason of my own - a reason to stay with the Phantom Thieves. I don’t have anyone I want to save or get revenge on. Someone like me has no reason to stay here…”
: “That was refreshingly honest.”
: “You shoulda just said so from the start! Geez!”
: “If you stick with me, there’s no telling what kind of trouble will come up! You better be sure about this!”
: “It’s a little late for all that, don’t you think? Of course we want to stay with you too.”
: “Uhh, so… well… I’m sorry I worried you guys. This is where I belong! My mind’s all set! I’ll make sure to work hard to pay my dues. It’s too late to cancel our deal, got it?”
: “Well, in the end, wouldn’t you say that your encounter with us was destiny?”
: “That’s right… ‘Encounter’…”
: “Hm?”
: “Oh crap! The last train’s comin’ up!”
: I believe the last train runs at midnight in Tokyo, if Game Center CX is at all correct.
: “I must go as well.”
: “Let’s continue this another time.”
: “I…”
: “What’s going on here? You brought over another girl?”
: “That’s not what I meant. Anyway, don’t break her heart, all right?”
: “So, you found our cat, and even took care of it?”
: “Oh, it wasn’t a bother or anything.”
: “I’m the one who took care of you though.”
: “What’s up? You seem happy.”
: “It’s been a while since I’ve had a meal with so many people.”
: “Make sure you go home today before it gets too late, okay? I’m sure your parents are worried.”
: “No, I’ll go home. If my father suspects something, it’ll be more difficult to change his heart, wouldn’t it? I’ll contact you again so - oh right! Can we exchange contact info?”
: “Will you be okay on your own? If you need, I can go with you.”
: “You belong here, don’t you, Mona-chan?”
: She attempted to commit murder with him and won’t even take him home.
: “W-Well, yeah…”
: “…Excuse me?”
: “You won’t be officially registered yet, but isn’t that how things are with young people these days? Go prove your sincerity to him. You can do that, can’t you?”
: Haha, us millennials killing marriage, am I right?
: “Not only do you come home late, you’ve even stayed out overnight without my permission… I thought I had been clear about the friends you chose.”
: “Father, they’re not like-”
: “I have my hands full right now with the company. Don’t cause any more trouble for me.”
: “…I need to discuss something with everyone. Can we all meet?”
: “Haru… what could be wrong? I wonder why she wants to talk to us…”
: “It’s that same fiance guy, right? You know what’s going to happen…”
: “Based on what Haru just told us, she’ll be taken to his house on October 11th. That means our deadline is the 10th.”
: “But if we trigger a change of heart in your father, he’ll definitely be taken by the police. The label of a ‘criminal’s daughter’ will forever stick with you. Your current living situation may change as well.”
: “And to be honest… I’ve actually left a request on the Phantom Aficionado Website before.”
: “She did so around the time we were mulling over who to target next.”
: “But… the Phantom Thieves didn’t make a move. That’s when I met Mona-chan. I thought it was fate. I made my decision then. If the Phantom Thieves wouldn’t act, I’d do it myself…”
: “The mental shutdowns, Treasure, and finally, the change of heart… our interests have come together.”
: “Would you cooperate with us now?”
: “Of course. I should be the one cordially asking to be allowed on the team.”
: “From here on, we may be going up against the culprit behind those mental shutdown occurrences. This’ll be different from our training in Mementos. You better brace yourselves.”
: I joined a Megami Tensei speedrun discord a few days ago to ask a mechanics question, and happened to read a guide for P5R speedruns while I was there.
: It kind of made me re-think making a gamebreaker, if only because they use horribly outdated Personas (they fuse an Anzu just before the next boss, the one after Okumura) and get by mostly on items, buffs, and reflects.
: Have I mentioned that they play on Hard?
: “You’re suddenly lecturin’ us?”
: “Weak? Really?”
: “She can transform at the very least, but to be frank, she may slow us down. A lot.”
: “I’m sorry for causing such trouble…”
: “Nah, don’t worry about it. It’s actually convenient for us to target that CEO. Check out this news blog.”
: "There’s a lot of negative comments in regard to the Phantom Thieves. ‘The names of obvious criminals have come up, so why haven’t the Phantom Thieves acted yet!?’ "
: “The way they’re getting heated is on a different level.”
: “Don’t forget about the intel on the mental shutdown cases, all right?”
: “Of course! We’ll get 'em both!”
: Oh, one other detail I love about the speedrun of this game. The world record is something like 14 hours. Most people take somewhere between 15 and 20 hours on their first run.
: This means they have to strategically plan bathroom breaks, and this is where my favorite quote about that comes in: “In long scenes like the buffet after Kamoshida or Hawaii, go to the bathroom.”
: That’s honestly a pretty good way to play this game even if you’re not speedrunning it.
: “As Phantom Thieves, it’s our duty to punish him!”
: We do have an open night slot even though we can’t leave, so tonight we fix the laptop.
: The game warns you that it can take multiple nights to finish it - this is because the laptop is a stat trainer for proficiency. Because we’re already maxed in that, we can fix it in a single night.
: All computers are essentially made up of different components that have already been scalped multiple times by crypto miners. Seriously, they just announced a new video card (to avoid dating the LP I’m not saying which) that went from an initial $~800 MSRP to over $1200 before even releasing.
: If you’ve played Persona 3 or Persona 4, you might have wondered where Tanaka was. He was the guy who ran the TV shopping show in both of those games.
: This also answers the question of “What happened to all of those sunglasses Nyarlathotep had in Persona 2?”
: “What the heck? It just went to that site automatically. Was it configured to do that beforehand? Shady Commodities? So… it’s an entire online shopping site?”
: If you’re asking why they did this, it’s probably because at the time this game was being written, there was a bunch of public discourse over Silk Road.
: Just in case you haven’t heard of it, Silk Road was an online marketplace that dealt in illegal items - mostly drugs, as they banned the sale of weapons. The person who ran it, Ross Ulbricht, was arrested in 2013.
: “Either way, it’s certainly gotten my attention. Let’s check it out when we have some time.”
: Next time, we’ll go into Mementos. I’ve already transferred the save to the PS5, but I might decide not to do that anyway because of how boring fusing a gamebreaker is.
No it’s envy of the successful. Haven’t you seen that Simpsons bit?
Every time ANYTHING happens in Digital Devil Saga, there’s new dialogue in every location in the game. It’s infuriating.
Uh, taken like 50 damage I assume.
Do they do that because enemies do more damage, so you can repel more damage? Or do they do that because they’re MegaTen fans and like being beaten with a bat full of nails?
I went and asked, and apparently it’s the latter - there’s no mechanical reason for it. The extra damage on reflects does help, but if they were going for that they’d probably play on Merciless instead because that has the 3x damage multiplier on weakness hits… which I will be abusing extensively against the next boss.
Click Here for Update 64
: It’s the 19th, and time to go to Mementos.
: “If Haru’s sold off, the Phantom Thieves will never live it down.”
: Yeah, nah. We’re going to Mementos (and temporarily to the PS5) instead.
: “Ann… perfect timing.”
: “Huh? Whaddya mean?”
: “I’ve been working on a way to incorporate beauty into our fights, instead of merely doing away with our enemies each time. And only a moment ago, I was struck with a bolt of inspiration.”
: “Ah, is that right? So… what did you mean by ‘perfect timing,’ then?”
: “Ah, yes - so my potential idea is good and all, but I’ll require your help to pull it off. Would you please lend me a hand?”
: “Sure, but, uh… nothing too weird, alright?”
: I’m going to need to borrow footage again, because even after grinding in Mementos for like two and a half hours trying to fuse a gamebreaker I did not get their Showtime to pop up even once.
: By the way, I’m taking the footage off this channel on Youtube.
: Oh, right. I also found out that there’s a neat little easter egg which is INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT to get. If you finish a fight with Ann and Morgana’s showtime and Morgana levels up, it shows his godawful anime face on the level-up screen.
: Ann and Yusuke’s Showtime is named “The Kabuki Kid” in English. The Japanese name is “Genroku-jyo Kabuki” which is apparently a reference to a 1969 film titled “Orgies of Edo”.
: I have not seen Orgies of Edo, but it’s apparently a samurai movie of some sort that is ostensibly about moral degradation in Edo-period Japan. YouTube has it and it’s classified as a horror film. Let me just copy-paste the plot summary from IMDB, because it tells you just about everything you need to know.
: Now, let me just say that if I had multiple bulls with flaming horns, the first thing I would do is link them up to a chariot and destroy the ornamental grass in the backyard. The second thing I would do is get a pizza, because no one is going to make me wait when I have a chariot hooked up to a bunch of fire bulls.
: I like the detail of that lamp in the corner that just says “Ann + Yusuke” because it makes them seem like a gay crimefighting duo.
: Okay, so, fire bulls. There’s going to be some fire bulls in here, right? You wouldn’t name an attack after a movie containing fire bulls and then not have any fire bulls. That’s just common sense.
: God dammit, Atlus! You had one fucking job! Fire bulls! You could’ve fucking had them ride fire bulls! Fuck! One job and you ruin it!
: “Of course, if you have no interest, you’re in no way obligated to help…”
: “No no, it sounds awesome! Oh, but - what if we tried doing this beforehand?”
: “Oho… we should definitely incorporate that part into the attack. I never would’ve come up with that part on my own.”
: Now, if I had someone who could do 3D modeling and had bothered to look up Orgies of Edo beforehand, I would ABSOLUTELY do a Joker/Yusuke showtime where they’re cowboys on fucking robot horses driving a herd of fire bulls into the enemy.
: “Awesome! I can’t wait!”
: “Actually… I want to try it right now as well! I truly hope the Star will grant us this…”
: Notice that Haru doesn’t have a costume - she’s just kinda here. We can’t use her yet.
: I should also note that the guide tells you to get a Money Reading from Chihaya before going in, but we’re not doing that. The reason? Most of the enemies here are going to be insta-kill fodder, and Money Reading does not double the money from insta-kills.
: At this point, you are going to get far more money from insta-kills (I went from like, 800k to 1.2 million in an hour) than you are from the Greatest Weapon. We’ll save that for Okumura’s palace.
: “It’s coming from below!”
: “It’s gotten even bigger.”
: “This happened because we stole another Treasure… right?”
: “I feel like it’s gonna keep gettin’ bigger and bigger.”
: “I don’t think Mementos’s territorial expansion is caused by us stealing a Treasure. I bet it’s things like the number of searches for ‘Phantom Thieves,’ the ranking of trending words…”
: “And the access counter on Mishima’s website and stuff. Even now, it’s slowly expanding.”
: Maybe if we keep expanding it, we’ll get to a universe where this is a well-written game.
: “The more we become the topic of conversation, the more Mementos spreads?”
: “Maybe it’s the other way around…”
: “Whaddya mean?”
: “We’re the ones expanding it… or perhaps, Mementos grants further passage as we become more prevalent in the general public’s cognition.”
: “Like… gettin’ free admission for bein’ popular?”
: “That’s rather well-put.”
: “For real? That’s amazin’! Actually, you’re amazin’, Futaba! How’d you figure that out?”
: “Piece of cake.”
: “I didn’t know at all… what have I been doing?”
: I forgot to show off in the DLC roundup that in the Persona 1 and 2 costume sets, Morgana becomes Trish. Joker smirks at the fact that Morgana has now cross-dressed before he has.
: By the way, I have decided to NOT migrate the save to the PS5. The reason for this is an unforeseen issue with Network Fusion.
: Basically, Network Fusion has no legality checks the way something like the GTS in Pokemon does… and at the same time, people can edit their saves to basically make whatever they want.
: As far as I can tell, as long as the Persona has “valid” skills (read: no enemy-only skills or debug stuff) they’re allowed to be uploaded.
: This leads to things like a level 60 Lilith that’s been floating around with the skill set of a Persona that’s not obtainable until New Game +.
: Now, I’m all for breaking the game using the tools it gives me, but I feel like using hacked shit is going a bit too far… and I don’t feel like manually verifying every Persona I come across.
: There are also decals for Morgana. I’m not quite sure how that would even work, but whatever.
: The only unfortunate part of not having the DLC will be that I cannot get a fire bull. Titanomachia is a skill unique to Asterius that does more fire damage than Agidyne (it’s a tier-4 fire spell) and inflicts fear instead of burn.
: By the way, the part about the costumes that sucks is that it changes the battle music. Now, you’d think this would mean giving me Bloody Destiny for the P1 set… but no. Atlus had one fucking job.
: Unlike our other targets, Oyamada is way the fuck back in the area that covers Madarame’s palace.
: “That bastard looks like he’s been eatin’ well lately.”
: “Hm. He made a mistake in rushing a drug’s development, and now intends for his subordinate to take the fall.”
: “People might die if we don’t change his heart! And a good doctor will have to quit…”
: “Yeah. We gotta do something!”
: Yusuke kills Oyamada’s shadow in one hit. I didn’t even have him use Charge first.
: That… doesn’t make sense, but okay.
: And now we’re going back to the PS4… after one more thing. Futaba has a finisher screen that will (rarely) pop up over someone else’s when you finish with an All-Out.
: Wait… why doesn’t she have the visor on? Anyway, let’s go back to the PS4.
: I use Anzu and Kaiwan to make Belphegor. With Life Aid, we really don’t need the half SP cost from Anzu anymore, and Intense Focus increases all single-target spell damage by 20%.
: You might ask if me giving a toilet demon wind spells and wind break was intentional, and no it wasn’t, but it’s pretty funny in hindsight.
Returning Persona: Belphegor
Origin: Moab (Present-day Jordan)
First Appearance: Megami Tensei II
Demonized version of Baal-Peor, the god of the Moabites. In Judeo-Christian mythology, he is a former Principality who became the demon lord of Sloth. Appearance comes from a Jewish myth in which Belphegor is worshipped at a toilet by puking into it.
: “She’s smirking. That’s kinda creepy.”
: “Her blog is full of all her crazy thoughts. She must be lost in some sort of sick romance fantasy.”
: “Shouldn’t we do something about it before she can hurt anybody?”
: “Of course. Let’s do it.”
: Gonna go Ralph Pootawn on her ass.
: “Hey. I don’t blame you for falling in love, but there’s a point where it goes too far.”
: “Who are you calling a bitch!? And I’m not interested in Ikesugi!”
: Bitches are dogs. Ann is a cat.
: “What’d you just say!?”
: Mogami’s shadow is Bugs, which is a demon we need a totem to fuse. We’re going to need one for Caroline and Justine’s confidant.
: Belphegor: “Oh christ here comes the five-alarm chili! It’s back for revenge!”
: Joker: “Real romance is when Yusuke puts on the maid dress.”
: “Just tell him face to face, and don’t write weird stuff in your blog. It’ll take courage though.”
: “Hey! Just don’t do anything weird!”
: Defeating Mogami lets us proceed to the next area.
: “I never realized how creepy the subway system could be. Inside the train, you don’t even notice.”
: “I agree. Perhaps it is like the darkness in all men’s hearts. Always there, never perceived…”
: “He seems a little irritated.”
: “I heard he was abusin’ animals just to take his anger out on them.”
: Wasn’t Joker the one who told him this?
: “I can’t let him get away with something like that!”
: “You guys, don’t go easy on him!”
: My cat is happiest when he knows I’m having a video meeting at work, because it means he can jump in front of the camera.
: “What a poor excuse for a human being! I could never forgive someone like you!”
: “We’ll take your twisted desires, but first I’ll show you the pain you caused those poor animals!”
: “Let’s do it, Joker! I’ll show you the wrath of cats!”
: Morgana, the whole Zero Wing thing stopped being funny in like 2004.
: I kind of wish I had known this earlier. Being shocked opens up enemies to gun attacks - meaning every single shot fired will be a technical.
: After several rounds of knocking the boss down, Yusuke decides it’s time.
: “That’s a good idea. Perhaps then, he’ll understand what those animals had to endure.”
: “Remember the awful things you did to those cats. Doesn’t it make you feel horrible?”
: Shortly after, I start grabbing the stamps for this area. The annoying part is that you have to farm them starting in this area.
: What happens is that each level of the dungeon has a chance to spawn two stamp stations - there will always be a fixed one at the down stair and a second one that may or may not appear.
: What you have to remember though is that the rest area, the final floor, and most floors with a target on them will only spawn one, meaning you have to do floors multiple times.
: I also run into Jose, who upgrades the crystal from Futaba’s Palace.
: Decarabia is a trash Persona, but we’re fusing him for one very specific reason. We logged him earlier.
: The reason is that Decarabia is the first non-DLC Persona to learn Fire Boost. We also need a Councillor Persona, so might as well.
: “We’re only in the third area. I suppose this leisure ride will continue on for a while longer.”
: “How is this supposed to be leisurely?”
: Given that we’re insta-killing everything we run into, it’s pretty leisurely.
: “Cut him some slack. Yusuke just wanted to say somethin’ cool.”
: “He looks super shady.”
: “Well, he’s selling useless rocks and those brainwashing seminars to his followers, right?”
: “If we let him go on like this, so many more people will end up unhappy!”
: “Let’s go and strip this wolf of his sheep’s clothing.”
: Fukurai’s shadow (Baphomet) is annoying to fight due to it having very high defense. It’s weak to Bless and Ice, but at this point we don’t really have a strong Bless Persona. That will change quickly.
: I pull out Decarabia because I know that Baphomet is unlikely to use a physical attack and go for shocking him instead.
: Seriously though, I had no idea shock was this good. One shock is basically four guaranteed All-Outs.
: Baphomet has Eigaon, and it hits fucking HARD. This actually killed Ann - she had to use Endure to survive it.
: Now that we have Futaba, she will occasionally buff the party - this can range from a full-party accuracy boost (trash) to a full-party Heat Riser.
: Ann learns Fire Boost, putting her one step closer to being overpowered.
: “He’s got a crazy look in his eyes.”
: “He’s been known to attack indiscriminately. I suppose he really has lost his sanity…”
: “If we don’t make him have a change of heart, I won’t feel safe walking around in public.”
: “We have to do this.”
: “Oh, geez, he’s the annoying type…”
: “Stop playin’ dumb, you crazy criminal.”
: Former Prime Minister of Japan Shinzo Abe, this will not raise Japan’s declining birthrate.
: Naguri’s Shadow has a shitload of health but very low defense.
: I kept Decarabia on the entire time, which was a mistake against a physical-oriented demon like Kin-ki, but whatever.
: “Sorry won’t cut it. You attacked and hurt a lot of people, you know?”
: “Tell the police everything.”
: Charge would be useful if I ever used physical Personas, which there’s not much reason to.
: “We were fortunate to have caught him before anyone died. We should be quite grateful for that fact.”
: “God, he looks pigheaded…”
: “This guy abused his position at work, right? Harassin’ the people under him and all that.”
: “It’s people like him who create awful workplace environments…”
: “Let’s talk to him.”
: “Stealing credit from your subordinates is one of the worst things you can do as a superior.”
: I saw a thing just now about how the speedrun of the base game works, and shit’s kinda crazy.
: In the base game, every one of the dungeons has a means of clipping out of bounds, which in some cases allows you to skip pretty significant portions of the dungeon.
: Another favorite is one in the laser room in Madarame’s dungeon that removes Ryuji from the game.
: “How did someone like you ever get promoted? If I were the president, you’d be fired!”
: Unfortunately, Royal fixed a lot of these because they were dependent on a bug in the base game that allowed you to clip into enemies. It’s still doable in Royal but is apparently much harder to pull off, and only one of the out of bounds is usually worth the time investment.
: Kishi is a Kumbhanda, and is only weak to Bless. Unfortunately, that’s our weakest department right now - we can’t really get a good Bless Persona until level 41 or so.
: He’s more annoying than actually dangerous, as he has Diarahan (single-target full heal) and will use it any time he gets low.
: For a trash Persona, I sure got a lot of mileage out of Decarabia. There was kind of an ulterior motive in that Decarabia eventually learns Megidola, but as I found out the hard way, getting Megidola to mutate into Megidolaon is extremely hard.
: Seriously, I made like 50 attempts at it on the PS5, and only once did the game pick Megidola to mutate, and it didn’t mutate into Megidolaon. I asked if anyone had ever successfully gotten it to mutate and the answer I got was “Just use the hacked Lilith”.
: “How do you intend to take responsibility for all this?”
: This book unlocks Tokyo Destiny Land, but I believe you can also unlock it via the story, so there’s not much of a reason to read it.
: “An amusement park guidebook!? Even if you abused your subordinates, I guess your kids were real important to you…”
: I ran into Jose and spent all the stamps to get even more money. We’re going to need it probably around the time we get to the Casino.
: “Judging from the smirk on his face, it looks like he’s scheming something awful.”
: “I heard he was threatenin’ this old couple, tryin’ to kick them out of their own movie theater.”
: “If we leave him alone, he may resort to violence.”
: “We can’t let that happen! Let’s go!”
: “It seems like you’re trying to use force to get people to leave their property?”
: “We’re quite serious. We can’t let those who cause problems for others to go unpunished.”
: No, you didn’t have a stroke, that last line is just badly localized and wasn’t fixed in Royal.
: “That includes people like you, who use bullying tactics to get what they want.”
: Even though he’s an Ippon-Datara (a Mementos-exclusive demon in Madarame’s area) this fight is fucking annoying.
: He uses Rampage, which hits everyone multiple times. Against four targets, Rampage is almost certain to crit at least once, and it’s not likely you’ll be able to get a physical reflect on everyone.
: Also I was still using Decarabia (even though that’s a horrible idea) because I wanted Megidola dammit.
: Then Futaba gives me a full-party Heat Riser.
: “Yeah, stop messing around with our neighborhood.”
: “I hope you’ll consider the feelings of those who get things taken away from them from now on.”
: “Not just Yongen! You better make up for the awful things you’ve done elsewhere, too!”
: Oh man, this book. This book unlocks the Sky Tree and is made completely pointless by finishing Ann’s Rank 7 event.
: After that fight, I got another fusion alarm (seriously, I got like 10 during this trip) and fuse a Unicorn. We’re not keeping it for long, because while it learns Kougaon, it can’t do much with it.
New Persona: Daisoujou
Origin: Buddhism
First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei I
Daisoujou is a title for a high-ranking Buddhist monk, but in this case the Persona is based on a practice called sokushinbutsu in which a monk self-mummifies by doing an extremely hardcore diet for three years before being sealed in a tomb.
: Daisoujou was an amazing demon in Nocturne, but outside of Nocturne he’s only notable because of his unique skill, Samsara. Samsara is the best light-based instakill spell. He also is probably the easiest way (outside of DLC) to get Bless Boost. We’re not keeping him either.
Returning Persona: Hariti
Origin: Buddhism
First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei I
Originally an ogress in Pakistani mythology who kidnapped and ate children. When Buddhism came to Pakistan, the myth was re-worked to turn her into a protector of children who eats pomegranates instead of human flesh. Was also briefly Maki’s mother in Persona 1.
: And here’s how we put it all together. Bless Boost, Kougaon and Tarukaja is a pretty good combination: we can buff with Hariti and then switch to something else, or simply use the Bless damage.
: I dicked around in Kaitul for a while trying to get all of the stamps, and ran into Tatsuya Sudou… which is weird because I thought we were playing as him.
: “That’s a sign of how much more twisted this place is. I’m sure the Shadows here are stronger, too.”
: “Yeah, and looks like there are more enemies here than there were up above. Be careful, okay?”
: Akzeriyyuth is significantly more fucked up looking than the previous areas.
: There’s 25 stamps here, and multiple rest stops - which again means you’re going to have to reload floors to get them all. While we do come back here later, it won’t be until November.
: Even Yusuke realizes how dumb this whole thing is.
: There’s a rest area on the fourth floor, which seems generous until you realize why it’s here. That’s because on the next floor…
: “He looks so… pathetic.”
: “He’s cheating in a video game, right?”
: This whole thing just seems ridiculous when you compare it to the guy beating on old people or the guy killing cats for fun… or the cult leader.
: “Yeah, he’s a cheater. It’s not something an adult should be doin’.”
: “Let’s go.”
: I mean, yeah, I could just use the hacked Lilith and destroy the rest of the game, but why?
: You uh, just said that.
: Naturally, this is a fight we can’t win.
: Every attack against him will miss. What’s funny is that there’s actually a skill you can get that does this - it gives you 50% evasion against everything.
: It’s called Ali Dance, and I actually managed to get it on the PS5 when Megidola mutated on that Incubus.
: “Look at him, acting all smug because of his cheats… we can’t do anything to him at this rate though. Let’s retreat for now and rethink our approach.”
: “Yes… unfortunately, it appears we do not have even a chance of victory.”
: “Yo, Morgana. Ain’t there anything we can do?”
: “I’m not sure. As I’ve already mentioned, the Metaverse is a place where people’s cognitions materialize. Even I can’t predict what will happen in here.”
: “Dammit! If only we could figure out what his ability is…”
: Hacks.
: “That’s exactly right!”
: “So we’ll need to figure out a way to break through his cheat…”
: “That’s fine, but let’s do it somewhere else. It’s not exactly what I’d call safe here. We should talk more where there aren’t Shadows.”
: “We can make it our homework then. Let us think more on this topic after we return to reality.”
: “I hope it doesn’t add too much more work to your plate.”
: “Homework… eh, I guess that works. Anyways, let’s get goin’.”
: Except we can’t, because there’s still one more target we haven’t taken out yet.
: “Thirty-three areas? I’m starting to feel kind of overwhelmed… just how big IS this place?”
: “Who knows? This whole place, its overall structure… it’s all a mystery. Oh well.”
: “She’s using her just like a pawn, from what I hear.”
: No one here (apart from Makoto) has even met her! Joker told you that!
: “That’s her own daughter… what is wrong with her?”
: “I don’t know much about shogi, but I do know she’s a bad person!”
: “It’s as you say, Lady Ann! Let’s get her!”
: You really didn’t need to say both of those things because one implies the other, but okay.
: Wait, she doesn’t even WANT Hifumi to be a shogi player, she wants her to be an idol!
: I think whoever wrote this either never read the script for Hifumi’s confidant events or just didn’t give a fuck.
: Did they forget the part where she’s an out-of-work TV presenter who is working in a nightclub? Where did she get the money to do all this?
: Hifumi’s mother is a Lilim with a skill set very similar to ours.
: She also has insta-death curse spells, but Joker reflects those.
: Unfortunately, she also has Mabufudyne, which… hurts. She then follows it up with Mamudoon, which forces Ann to Endure and burns an item to stop the autokill from hitting Joker.
: Yusuke gets off a Charge and then a physical skill and stops her just before she can kill Joker.
: Futaba also learns an important skill here, and another at level 49.
: We’re done here now, but I wanted to go map out the area and get all the stamps… and hit level 42 if possible.
: I make the mistake of fusing Belphegor into Red Rider after not having saved for a while.
New Persona: Red Rider
Origin: The Bible
First Appearance: Nocturne
It’s War.
: Red Rider is one of the four Riders - the others being White (Pestilence), Black (Famine) and Pale (Death). White Rider is level 38 and is the only way to get Gun Boost.
: Compared to Belphegor, Red Rider SUCKS. His signature skill is Negative Pile, a high-damage physical attack that also inflicts Despair… but you can get a card for it as a negotiation reward from Lamia.
: The one upside is we now have a source of Curse damage, which we have not had in a long time.
: While grinding stamps, I run into Jose again. This time, I wind up putting stamp points into items, which is actually a pretty good way to make money.
: I also level Joker to 42. This is going to be very important when we do Caroline and Justine’s confidant. Theoretically, we could get them to Rank 8 before we leave, but we’re not going to do that.
: I’m going to include just a bit of the dialog that happens when you examine the wall to the next area.
: That being Ame-no-Uzume.
: Makoto is horny for Ryuji, not knowing he’s for Ann and Ann alone.
: Here’s what I didn’t realize about boosting the item rate - what it actually does is boosts the amount of items you get every time you hit an item box.
: By the time you get this up to 5 or 6 items per box, you’re practically guaranteed to get at least a minor treasure item every time you hit one.
: Here’s why I needed to hit 42. Ose is the only way you can get a High Counter card - specifically by itemizing him during an alarm.
: I did a fusion that probably shouldn’t exist to get him, namely Hariti and Daisoujou. Note how both of those are Bless-element Personas… and Ose cannot learn Bless skills.
New Persona: Ose
Origin: Ars Goetia
First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei I
57th demon of the Ars Goetia. Appears as a leopard who then shapeshifts into a man. Can transform people into other shapes without them noticing, and grants knowledge in science.
: This game uses Ose’s appearance from Strange Journey, which is probably good because his appearance in Nocturne was uh… someone’s Deviantart furry OC.
: Unfortunately, I have to release him almost immediately to make room for stuff we need for confidants… and to summon Hariti back.
: The “King” is a lot of people’s favorite confidant and the source of a rather large P5 meme, and is how we can eventually finish that Mementos request.
: Note that you don’t ever have to finish that request - it doesn’t count toward Mishima’s confidant and the “King” has a different request at Rank 9. The only requirement is that you try and fail it once.
: I mean, I could, but then I’d have to be one of those dipshit Minecraft streamers people keep shitting up Twitter’s trending section with.
: “In any case, we might be able to complete the request if we can find this ‘King.’ With his help… we’ll crush that cheating jerk for sure!”
: Of course she’s too formal, because she’s a fucking ripoff of Elly without any of the things that make Elly a good character.
: We need to call Kawakami.
: Look at that fucking money! Even after buying new equipment for everyone (and I mean everyone, including Morgana) I still had over a million yen left over.
: We also get something like 500 total points at the clothes store in Kichijoji. I’ll be using those right after the final dungeon in the base game for maximum money.
: We can also trade the Thief Mask for a Magic Up Ofuda, which doubles the damage of the next magic attack of the person it’s used on. It stacks with Concentrate.
: And now, we can end this neverending day by doing Hifumi’s Rank 8, making her mother’s mental breakdown the fastest in the entire series.
: “She told me that… most of my matches thus far had been fixed in my favor… she also admitted that she was the one who sold that story to the weekly magazine.”
: Joker just looks at her like “No shit, you’ve been playing Yugioh this entire time.”
: “I… I had no idea. I feel so ashamed… however, thinking back, I do recall some of my opponents making poor moves at odd times…”
: Seriously though, my headcanon is she just brought in a duel disk and a tournament-grade Yugioh deck to all these shogi tournaments.
: “I became so conceited as a result of all those fake victories… why did my mother confess all of a sudden? It’s as if she had a change of heart…”
: “…That can’t be. Perhaps they eavesdropped on our conversation?”
: “Yes. It was painful to hear the truth, but I’m glad that my mother had a change of heart. I’ve decided… I’m not going to lose.”
: “Oh, sorry! I was referring to the exhibition match… I’m going through with it, as planned. However, before that, I’m going to confess everything.”
: “I know I’ll receive a lot of criticism, but I must ensure the truth is known. This next match will showcase my true talents. I don’t know how it’s going to go… but I hope you’ll watch.”
: “As your teacher, I promise to put up a good fight so I don’t embarrass myself…”
: “…I would be lying if I told you that I’m not scared. My kingdom is a house of cards… I’m not sure if it can withstand a true battle.”
: “There’s a new move I’d like to test out for the exhibition… will you stay for another game?”
: “I was just a little curious about your thoughts. Regarding my decision to reveal my fixed matches, that is.”
: “Thank you… I’m so glad to hear that. You’re the reason I managed to make that decision, after all. Our talks helped me realize I should play with the utmost sincerity.”
: Next time, we’ll catch up on Iwai’s confidant, meet the “King”, get smoked, and finish billiards forever. We’ll also be forced into a Maruki event and an Akechi event. Joy.
Fun (?) fact: Titanomachia has been a different element in every SMT game it’s appeared in. It’s Earth in Digital Devil Saga, Physical in SMTIV, and Fire in P5.
What does it give you instead? A Lone Prayer is a good song too.
White is actually Conquest. I don’t know who invented the idea of a horseman of pestilence, but it’s not in the Book of Revelation, and SMT follows that.
He is also, I assume, King from One Punch Man.
It gives you A Lone Prayer for regular battles, but bosses and minibosses still use the regular P5 music instead of Bloody Destiny. I know it was hated in Japan for not having the PS1 version’s battle themes.
The only really good music pack in the entire thing is the Persona 2 one, which has a remix of the Innocent Sin battle theme and is generally pretty good. Why they put the most effort into the Persona 2 DLC, I don’t know.
So… Morgana’s thief outfit is the car? Or the bandana? I’m hoping it’s the car.
I mean I guess Shadows are dangerous yadda yadda but you’d think with a party member with a motorcycle and a party member with a UFO you could multitask more.
Also to find the King of Gun About we’re clearly going to have to find a NEET burying his feelings in escapism. Obviously.
Click Here for Update 65
: “Do you think you could maybe come with me to see her?”
: “She’s waiting over at Big Bang Burger. Let’s go.”
: “What!?”
: “Does this have to do with Tsukasa?”
: Okay, Hashino? Can we have a single confidant plotline that wasn’t a substory in a Yakuza game? I get that Atlus got bought out by Sega, but Yakuza is already a turn-based RPG.
: “…He’s lying to you, Eiko. Don’t give him any money.”
: Now, while this kind of thing does happen in reality, I think it’s just kind of another anime cliche at this point.
: “So he calls you his special princess… what do you think, Akira-kun?”
: Morgana just chimes in from the bag: “The only special princess is gonna be Joker once I order all these cosplay supplies on his phone!”
: “…You’re not wrong about that. But did you ask anyone at his club about the broken bottle?”
: “…I think you should end your relationship with him. If you don’t put a stop to this, he might try to drag you into some suspicious line of work…”
: “Eiko…! You can’t just do what he says! He’s trying to deceive you…!”
: So what you’re saying is that Makoto may find herself behind the wheel of a large automobile? With a beautiful house? And a beautiful wife? And she asks herself… how did she get here?
: I mean, she won’t because she’s too boring.
: “I… I’m not sure yet. But be that as it may, you should still stay as far away from him as you can.”
: “Eiko, wait! I didn’t want to have to tell you this, but Tsukasa has been texting me almost constantly. Recently he’s been asking if my sister and I live alone, and that he’d be glad to help us out.”
: Why though. I don’t think Sae knows what a date is, and even if you tried she’d probably just turn it into an interrogation because she probably also does not understand the concept of a restaurant.
: “Even today he asked me if I’m still happy with my boyfriend… listen to me, Eiko: he’s not serious about you.”
: I love how Joker, who Eiko thinks is dating Makoto, is sitting right there and she’s not even questioning it.
: “It was mostly him texting me…”
: “Tsukasa is all she has…? You know, I think she’s exactly the kind of girl those gangs in Shinjuku are on the lookout for. Lonely, depressed girls who have nowhere to vent their frustrations…”
: Makoto is just kinda going zero to sixty here, isn’t she? I mean, first it’s the host and now she’s mere minutes away from being human trafficked by gangs.
: “Eiko’s family is quite well off. Her multi-talented younger brother seems to be the sole focus of her parents’ attention though. I’m sure that’s why she fell for Tsukasa in the first place. He treats her like she’s special.”
: Okay, so uh… why was this never mentioned before?
: “But… asking a high schooler for money isn’t normal boyfriend behavior. She needs to realize that. You’re going to help, right?”
: Know that if I didn’t have to pick the first option to not permafuck, I would pick the third one.
: “Thank you. It’s reassuring to hear you say that. Eiko’s blessed to have both money and a family… yet she’s still trying to break free from them. She’s almost the exact opposite of me.”
: No, that’d be Elly and Yukiko, and that’s why they’re the two best girls in the franchise.
: “…But I guess in a sense, watching her now is almost like looking back at my past self. I was so blinded by my own convictions that I never stopped to consider other alternative viewpoints on the world.”
: So what you’re saying is that you were blinded by the light? Revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night?
: “But… that’s not the right way to live. I want to show her that, just like you did for me.”
: “What is the right way to live…? At any rate, we’re going to catch that horrible host. I’ll let you know once I’ve thought of how to do it.”
: We now have an optional event with Ohya, which I’ll show off but which isn’t what we actually do tonight. If you’ll recall, we spent the night of the fifth teaching Yusuke Charge.
: Therefore, what we’re going to do is instead spend the night with Iwai.
: “Oh, not bad. It’s a bit far, but we can make it if we leave now. All right! Operation Secret Lovers, commence!”
: “Look, there’s a cute little ship over there! And a factory over THERE! Oh, isn’t this just wonderful, Kurusu-kun!? Going on a date is so much fun!”
: Joker’s real answer is something like: “Look, you’re kinda creeping me out trying to do the Maya thing, can you tone down the ‘Let’s Positive Thinking’ and bring back the ‘Let’s Constantly Drinking’ ?”
: “I’m so glad that you’re such an attentive boyfriend, Kurusu-kun! Then again, I don’t think the chief would come all this way just to spy on me…”
: “Well, I told him you’re my boyfriend, so I guess I’ll use this date as evidence. So c’mon, act like a boyfriend! …But don’t forget to keep feeding me the info, too.”
: “…God, what’s happened to me? Taking a seaside stroll with one of my informants…”
: Let’s now get to what we’re actually doing tonight.
: “…It’s about that secret Tsuda mentioned. There’s more to it than my havin’ been in the yakuza. I just wanna make sure you don’t go sayin’ somethin’ stupid if you run into Kaoru 'round here…”
: “Back when I was workin’ with the Hashiba Clan, some crazy lady came 'round our office. Must’ve been over ten years ago.”
: “She had this baby with her, and the whole time she was there she kept goin’ on about how she wanted to sell it. Figured she was just some cracked-up junkie lookin’ for drug money.”
: Well no shit it must’ve been over ten years ago, Kaoru is a high schooler.
: “Thinkin’ back on it, I’m still not really sure why I took him in… not only did I have to leave the clan, but now I’m stuck runnin’ this shop I don’t even like. chuckle Every day’s an uphill battle.”
: “I still haven’t managed to tell Kaoru I was in the yakuza though…”
: “…Lemme ask you somethin’. How would you feel if you found out your parents were wrapped up in some dirty shit? That’s how my mom was. She’d spend every night out drinkin’, runnin’ around with all sortsa guys.”
: “I couldn’t stand to see her destroy herself like that. Often I wished I could’ve had someone else as my mom. So… I didn’t wanna make Kaoru go through the same thing. I wanted to make sure he had a good childhood.”
: “That’s why I left the clan. I did everythin’ according to the code, but now Tsuda’s draggin’ me back… once he remembered I run this fake gun shop, he came by askin’ me to make custom models for him.”
: “Truth is, Tsuda’s got all sortsa dirt. Not just on what happened when Kaoru was a baby, but on me and the rest of my family too. Who knows what’d happen if Kaoru learned the truth…”
: He’d basically just be Ichiban Kasuga except without ever having been in the yakuza? Though I suppose Ichiban barely qualifies as having been in the yakuza.
: “Who knows what’d happen if Kaoru learned the truth… Tsuda isn’t gonna stop there, though. When it’s all said and done, he’s gonna try and take everythin’ I have.”
: “If word gets out about my past, people’re gonna treat Kaoru like he’s no different than me. After all, everyone knows shitty parents end up makin’ shitty kids…”
: “And once he’s got that stigma, he’s stuck with it. When shit goes wrong, he’ll always be the one who gets blamed. That’s how it was with me. That’s why I turned to the yakuza. Nobody else would accept me.”
: “That’s also why I can’t turn Tsuda down. He’s just got too much power…”
: “chuckle You got that right. I bet Kaoru’s sick of havin’ a weak-ass dad like me. Anyways, I was tryin’ to stall Tsuda with bullshit prototypes while I figured out a way to stop him…”
: “But that bastard’s real good at keepin’ his cards close to his chest. Plus, he caught wind of what I was tryin’ to do and started keepin’ tabs on me 24/7.”
: “Thankfully, that’s just about when you showed up, kid. sigh Sorry for bringin’ all that shit up out of the blue. You prolly don’t want anythin’ to do with me after that, huh?”
: "Man… you’re seriously into this enthusiast shit. Oh, right. Just remembered I never gave you a reward for that info. You’re right… how 'bout I give you a discount on the special menu?
: “That should keep you quiet for a while. Pretty good deal, huh?”
: I kinda jumped the gun on this one, because I had already bought and customized new guns for the entire party yesterday.
: “…Damn, it’s late. Should be gettin’ home. Kaoru’s been eatin’ a ton lately after cram school. He’s prolly gonna have another growth spurt soon.”
: “But I gotta protect that secret, no matter what. For Kaoru’s sake.”
: “Yeah, I’ll do whatever it takes. I guess that’s why I brought it up at all. Right now, I still don’t know what Tsuda’s next move’s gonna be.”
: “We gotta stay on guard 24/7. Don’t wanna get killed in your sleep, right? All right, see you.”
: That’s uh, certainly a way to end a conversation. I actually like Iwai’s confidant. He’s not a ripoff of a Persona 2 character and even though his confidant follows a lot of the same plot beats (and he’s got more than a little Kazuma Kiryu in him) it’s at least interesting enough.
: Today, we meet the best confidant in the game, even though he’s kinda derivative of a similar S-Link in Persona 4.
: “-Is an important work in the history of literature for being the first to use the word ‘robot’.”
: What she’s talking about is Karel Capek’s genre-defining work “Rossum’s Universal Robots”, which was written in 1920. He didn’t come up with the term though - his brother did.
: Capek’s robots aren’t what we’d think of as robots, though. In the play, they’re described as being biological constructs rather than machines.
: “Hey! You’re in class right now! Quit talking about Okumura and the Phantom Thieves! Geez… Kurusu-kun! You were listening at least, right?”
: “Robot comes from a word in Czech… but where in Europe is the Czech Republic located?”
: “That’s right. The Czech Republic is in the center of Europe. The word ‘robot’ comes from the Czech word ‘robota’. ‘Robota’ actually means ‘slave labor’.”
: “Existing only for slave labor… even from the origin of their name, robots are pitiful. Well, you could argue we’re not too different ourselves, having to keep working in order to live…”
: “Kawakami seems tired… but anyhow, i Okumura doesn’t see others as people, we need to change his heart!”
: We need to do two things before we do the new confidant. The first is to get a Luck Reading for Kindness - this will be the last Luck Reading we will ever get.
: We also need to get an Affinity Reading for Iwai, because we were supposed to do that on the 6th but never actually did due to the change in schedule.
: We then need to head to Akihabara, which has its own arcade.
: Meet Shinya Oda, and more importantly, meet his hat, which became a near-instant meme among people who played the base game.
: Now, here’s the best part about that hat. That hat fits on EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER PORTRAIT IN THE GAME. And have people done that? You fucking bet they have. I have spent the past several months gathering these from various P5 threads on /v/ just for this particular moment.
: The best part is it even fits on portraits that have no reasonable way to wear a hat.
: People have even gotten it to fit on the re-done portraits for Royal.
: “…Nah. Sounds like too much work. Don’t take it personal; I turn everyone down… later.”
: “Invincible, huh…? You mean that guy who cheats, right? It really makes me mad when he does that… but I can still beat him, so I don’t really care. Just forget about him.”
: Does Hashino know how video games work? I mean, we know he doesn’t.
: “…You sound like the Phantom Thieves. So, you’re saying you wanna beat the cheater? You seem like a nice guy, but… just let it go.”
: “The Phantom Thieves are really cool, aren’t they!? Are you a fan, too? Have you ever met them?”
: “But, um… teaching you how to play Gun About won’t be easy… and I won’t get anything out of it.”
: “Geez, you’re really persistent. I’m just a grade schooler, y’know. How about this… I wanna get to know the Phantom Thieves.”
: “It’s probably impossible, but if you can help me to do that, then I’ll teach you how to play. Well, whaddya say? Is it a deal?”
: “Well, if you really want to THAT much, then… I thought for sure you were just gonna give up… wow, I didn’t see this coming.”
: “But the Phantom Thieves hide their true identities, right? Are you sure I can get to know them?”
: “Huh? You’re gonna tell them my name? …My name’s Shinya Oda. Tell the Phantom Thieves my name, and have them post it somewhere only they’d be able to access.”
: “That’ll be good enough as an autograph, and proof that they know my name.”
: “Proof that you really know the Phantom Thieves, huh… we need something credible for this kid to believe us. Didn’t Futaba say she hacked into Gun About’s server or something?”
: “Let’s discuss this with Futaba. She might have a good idea…”
: “So, did he tell you how to take down that cheater?”
: “He’s going to, on one condition: he wants us to introduce him to the Phantom Thieves. We can’t just give ourselves away though. That’s where you come in.”
: “Maybe you could hack into the Gun About server and do something?”
: Couldn’t she just, I dunno, hack into the server and ban that guy?
: “But we won’t be able to get in touch with him that way…”
: “A calling card…? What are we going to steal?”
: “Oh, how about the home page? I already hacked into it, so it’s as good as stolen!”
: “Hm, okay. I’ll write a calling card saying that we’re going to steal the Gun About home page. After that, you’ll need to leave evidence that the Phantom Thieves hacked into it.”
: “The King will have no choice but to believe it was really us.”
: “Oooh, this sounds like fun. I’ll put our logo smack dab at the top of the front page.”
: “Perfect. We’ll go see the King. Oh, and we’ll let you know before we talk to him, so wait for our word to start the hacking.”
: “All right, you can count on me.”
: While we’re here, there’s a thing we can get for Joker’s room.
: "Huh? HUH? There’s something written on it… ‘Thanks for your support. Please help those in need. This is a promise to you from the Phantom Thieves. We’re going to post a secret message, just for you, on the game’s official website.’ "
: “Is… is this for real? I mean, you can probably just buy one of these cards at the store…”
: “Just like they did on Medjed’s site! Which means… you were able to contact the real Phantom Thieves! No way! How’d you do it?”
: “That’s so cool… so they want to remain anonymous… wow, I can’t believe they sent me a message… I wasn’t expecting much from you, Kurusu-san, but you’re actually pretty cool.”
: “I wish I was able to talk with them or something though… but you fulfilled your part of the deal, so I’ll teach you how to shoot.”
: “…Let’s get started.”
: “Are you taking this seriously!? You gotta focus on your second shot!”
: “I think you’ll be able to beat that cheater now. I have a bad habit of swearing when I get all worked up… sorry. But I think you have a lot of potential! More than most people!”
: “If you want… I can teach you a few other moves too! I have the ultimate trump card. So tell me more about the Phantom Thieves!”
: And now, I hope you are ready for the dumbest fucking Sae cutscene in this entire game.
: “But no one could figure out that you pull the trigger to make the bullets come out! I had to undergo years of training to figure that out! Special police training that’s only available to the police!”
: The dumb thing about this is there’s no way for her to know that Joker actually knows how to handle a gun properly - remember, she caught him with what she thinks is a very expensive model gun.
: This ability was heavily nerfed from the base game, where it instead used all of one character’s bullets to instantly down an enemy.
: “…It’s earlier than usual today. I gotta go. See ya later!”
: And there we have it. That’s every social stat maxed. We’re a full day ahead of schedule, and we’re even ahead of where the reset-heavy route maxes everything out.
: “I’m so glad I caught you. Hey, we should exchange IDs. It’s not like I’m here every day, so…”
: “Cool! …There, got it. I’ll hit you up when I have time to train you in Gun About. See you later, Kurusu-san.”
: Unfortunately, Akechi is at Leblanc tonight… and we need to do his confidant.
: “I expect we’ve both had a long day. I was out until now with work, but I think I can finally take a break… you’re not planning on anything too strenuous tonight, are you?”
: “Then perhaps we can talk over some of Boss’s coffee…”
: “Not that I’m complaining, but if you two are so tired, maybe you could use a bath more than a coffee. I mean, there’s a bathhouse right there.”
: “A bathhouse? That doesn’t sound too bad. Want to come with me, Kurusu-kun? I’d appreciate it if you could show me the way.”
: Joker: “Sounds like a great idea. I’ll call Yusuke. Bye, Akechi.”
: “Years. I used to frequent one when I was younger. Of course, these days I’m the Detective Prince, but my family situation was… well, complicated.”
: “By the time I was old enough to realize it, my father was already gone. My mother was all I had.”
: We get it, you’re Reiji.
: “My mother worked at a nightclub. Whenever she had to bring a man home, she’d send me off to the local bathhouse.”
: I’m wondering if this line is a localization failure, because this sure makes Akechi’s mother sound like she was doing sex work.
: “It’s in the past. I have no reason to blame her either.”
: I mean, at least they kind of fixed the logic with Akechi where he actually wants to kill his father. Kandori was Reiji’s half-brother.
: “Sorry. I didn’t mean for our conversation to get so depressing. Actually, are you all right? I know the hot water can make people dizzy…”
: Joker has every social stat maxed. He doesn’t give a fuck.
: “I’m still good to go too. I feel like I’m barely starting to feel warmed up.”
: “Oof… I think I feel a little lightheaded.”
: “Haha, I thought so. Your face is bright red, you know. This is the first time I’ve ever taken a bath like this. I’ve never told anyone about my family situation, either. I wonder why I told you? Curious indeed.”
: “Now that you mention it, maybe we are pretty similar deep down… we’re both victims of the adults who unfairly impacted our lives.”
: “I’m even more sure of that after having talked with you. Then again… this probably isn’t a conversation we should be having naked. Let’s get dressed, shall we?”
: “My skin still feels like it’s radiating heat… next time, let’s keep the competition out of the bath. Best to save it for the baize, right?”
: Baize is the material that they use for the tops of pool tables. It’s like felt, but it’s not felt.
: “…Though we could always see who changes faster. First to leave wins. Are you ready?”
: “It’s nice to spend the day as Goro Akechi for once, rather than the Detective Prince. You know? I don’t know if it’s because of the whole Prince image, but everyone seems to think I’m some brilliant prodigy…”
: “It’s really nothing like that. But people always seem to misunderstand. If they saw how I was acting today, perhaps they’d say I wasn’t acting like the Detective Prince.”
: I honestly don’t know that what Akechi’s VA does counts as acting.
: “Oh, I didn’t mean for that to sound negative… I’m sorry if I offended. If anything, I envy you. You fit right in with the retro vibe back there.”
: “Honestly, though… I just can’t figure you out, no matter how I try. You and I have common ground in some aspects, but in others, we’re total opposites. It’s intriguing.”
: “The more I get to know you, the more it makes me think. I wonder why that is. …Ah, now I’m veering into strange territory. I should let you go for now. See you.”
: This event is one that the guide covers rather poorly. We commit immediately.
: “Yeah, the heat and noise would drive anyone crazy… shopping for new stuff is kind of exciting, isn’t it?”
: “I’ve never liked air conditioners much. They make me too cold… but the hum of an electric fan bothers me. It makes it hard to concentrate on my strategy books…”
: She acts like an air conditioner is going to be less noisy… though I suppose if you’re looking at a through-the-wall unit like they apparently are, most of the actual lifting is done outside.
: “I’m sorry I’m holding us up…”
: “Thank you. Still, I shouldn’t indulge my indecisiveness too much. That could turn into a terrible weakness in shogi. I shall try to reach an answer soon.”
: “And she is…? Hm…? Where do I know her from…?”
: “You’re Kitagawa-kun, from the art track, yes? I’m Hifumi Togo… I go to Kosei as well.”
: She also goes to High School High School.
: “Togo… ah, the professional shogi player. I’m Yusuke Kitagawa. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Did you two also come to bask in the cool air?”
: “No, he’s helping me pick out an air conditioner. Kitagawa-kun, are you here because…?”
: “Thus, the clear solution was to find a place of more comfort, so that my creativity might flow once more.”
: I’m not normally into shipping, but in the alternate non-canon timeline in which Yusuke is straight I could see Yusuke and Hifumi as this pairing that absolutely must not happen under any circumstances or they’d break down and become increasingly weird anime gremlins.
: It’s so hot that even Joker is forced to be horny.
: “Yes, a most ingenious idea. But I fear it wouldn’t be wise to do so here… my funds are wholly devoted to acquiring more art supplies. Yet this interminable heat has dulled my creative edge…”
: “Here, I may enjoy the cooling breeze, and find inspiration in next-generation technology. What more could I ask for?”
: “I see… you make a compelling case, Kitagawa-kun.”
: “Oh? So you understand as well, Togo-san?”
: And now, the best exchange in this entire event.
: I like to think that there’s an Oracle of Maia on “this side”, and Yusuke dating Hifumi is the last step in bringing Nyarlathotep’s reign of terror back.
: “You think so? To have such a firm, personalized view of the world… yes, I daresay it’s a wonderful thing.”
: “Is something wrong, you two?”
: “No. Nothing in particular. By the way, Togo-san, have you settled on an air conditioner?”
: “No, I’m trying to decide between an air conditioner and an electric fan… between the two, I’d prefer an electric fan, but the noise would still bother me.”
: “I did see an electric fan that functioned with no blades. Perhaps that would suffice?”
: “A bladeless fan?”
: Bladeless fans are, of course, a lie. They have blades, they’re just hidden in the fan itself rather than out in the open.
: “I saw a tower fan where the tower was hollow, yet air was still flowing out of it. Technology has truly come a long way.”
: “That settles it. I’ll go with that one, then. With such revolutionary technology, I may be driven to create innovative new stratagems.”
: “Bladeless” fans are by no means a new technology. A quick search tells me that Toshiba first introduced them in 1981 - they just weren’t widely available until 2009.
: “I’m glad I was able to assist. If I might ask - what do you plan to do with your old electric fan? I would be happy to take it off your hands…”
: The guide up until this point had nothing but wrong answers, so I figured that they were probably off when they said that Chihaya shows up in this scene. I don’t think I did this one the first time I played.
: “Another acquaintance of yours? You’re very well-connected, Kurusu-kun.”
: “Ah, if it isn’t Mifune-san. She’s an accomplished fortune teller.”
: I like to think that the reason Yusuke knows who she is has to do with him getting several affinity readings with Joker.
: “Fascinating. What kinds of fortunes does she tell?”
: “Not everything! And without my tarot cards, I can’t divine much anyway… oh, but I can tell a little bit based on your personal aura.”
: “Ah, I see… the two of you seem to bear a very interesting connection with Kurusu-san… it’s somewhat different from ordinary friendship… I sense quite an unusual bond indeed.”
: Congrats, she can tell that two people talking to Joker probably know him. I remind you that she is supposed to actually be psychic.
: “I see… well, you aren’t wrong there.”
: Yusuke knows.
: “Yes, that sounds about right.”
: “You really are a mysterious person. Their stars burn with such intensity… what strange destiny could draw them together?”
: “By the way, Mifune-san, why are you here?”
: “Oh, right. I was looking for a replacement for my old electric fan. I know the worst of the heat is past, but I can’t make it through these Tokyo summers without one.”
: She was trying to find Joker to give him Yusuke’s bribe money.
: “What a coincidence - that’s what I was looking for, too. These two were just helping me decide what model to buy.”
: “My goodness! Another strange coincidence…”
: “Perhaps the fates conspired to bring us all here. Now we can peruse the bladeless fans together, yes?”
: I mean, she’s right, but it’s basically due to using a much smaller set of blades on a very heavily optimized aerofoil.
: There’s a TV quiz we could do tonight, but… why. We’re already maxed out.
: “The punishment is too soft in both those answers! That’s why people are turning to us…”
: This is probably the last one of these I’m going to bother showing off, because the reset-heavy route needs it to max knowledge.
: It sounds strange that the reset-heavy route would be behind us on stats, but the reason for that is that all those nights we spend doing the unique non-rankup events, they spend doing darts or jazz club.
: They also grab Tetrakarn and Makarakarn from the jazz club for maximum reflects (the speedrun does this as well) but we don’t really need that given how overleveled we are.
: Did I mention the part where we’re level 42 and Okumura’s shadow is level 43? Or the part where the red shadow in his dungeon is also level 43?
: We end the night by doing Sojiro’s confidant.
: “Thanks. Futaba’s coming to eat today too. I’ll get the curry ready. I’m leaving the coffee to you.”
: “How was the curry, Futaba?”
: “Delicious! I’m gonna be dreaming of that stuff tonight!”
: “Um… did it taste the same as you remember it?”
: “Yup. I feel like a dummy for not wanting to eat it back when I was depressed about my mom…”
: This part’s a little strange, because anime doesn’t work that way. Each year has four anime seasons which last roughly three months each - the summer season usually starts in July and runs to late September, and the fall season usually starts in October and runs through December.
: That’s not to say it’s not possible for a show to span multiple seasons. In fact, there was a pretty huge one in 2016: that being the Jojo Part 4 anime, which ran from the spring season in April to December.
: However, it’s unlikely that any production company would launch a new show outside of the usual season start dates - even Jojo started in April with the rest of the spring season. A quick glance shows that the earliest fall anime start in 2016 was September 27th.
: “Eyes in front when you walk, okay? No spacing out. You ran head first into a pole last time you went for a walk…”
: That might explain why she thinks there’s a new anime premiering this week.
: “Well you stubbed your toe on the dresser the other day!”
: “Aw crap! It’s gonna start! Making like a leaf and - eh, screw it. Bye!”
: “And what about you?”
: “Really…? I guess you have pretty good taste if you can understand how incredible that curry is. Now then… there’s something I should probably tell you. Here, take a seat. I’ll pour you some coffee.”
: “You might’ve realized by now, but that genius was Futaba’s mother, Wakaba. In other words, that curry is one of the last remaining connections Futaba has to her mom.”
: “I first met Wakaba back when I was doing work for the government. She was real trouble, let me tell you. Logic prevailed over emotion for her, and she had an intricate knowledge of the human mind.”
: “I thought my pick-up lines were the best in town, but not a single one worked on her… heh…”
: Sojiro tried being smug, and that was… honestly about all he tried.
: “You can probably get a good idea just from looking at Futaba. Wakaba was like the adult version of that. It was almost impossible to keep up with her.”
: “Wakaba rejected me time and time again… but there was one instance I managed to surprise her. And that was when I gave her a plate of my homemade curry.”
: “The very next day she came asking all about the ingredients and what goes into the cooking process… then just a few days later, she handed me a scientifically-enhanced version of my recipe.”
: “…It was incredible. She had used my curry as the basis, but it was miles better than anything I made. Curry was Wakaba’s specialty from then on. Naturally, Futaba grew to love it in no time as well.”
: “But then after Wakaba’s accident… Futaba stopped eating it entirely. The flavor would make her remember the pain… I’ve heard even smells can bring back memories too.”
: “But… that curry was the only point of connection I had with Futaba. That’s why when I took her in, I vowed to keep this recipe alive until she could eat it again.”
: “Yeah. It felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders when she said it was delicious. The whole idea of pairing the curry with a nice brew is thanks to Wakaba’s refinement too.”
: “Despite how introverted she seemed, she was extraordinarily perceptive of the people around her… I never even told her about my love of coffee. She figured it out just from looking at me.”
: Once she knew the curry recipe she probably figured the other stains on his shirt were from the coffee.
: “That was when I realized she was totally out of my league. Not like I really stood a chance to begin with though. She already had Futaba by then, after all.”
: “All right, that’s enough of this for tonight! Things are getting downright sappy in here. Futaba’s waiting for me at home too, so I should probably be heading back.”
: “Make sure you clean up before you go to bed.”
: “Futaba’s still watching anime. As long as she’s in a good mood, though, I don’t mind it. Seeing her so happy now makes me glad that I kept Wakaba’s curry alive.”
: “…It’s only a problem when she asks for it three times a day.”
: “That’s exactly my problem. Futaba’s still growing. I gotta be strict with her. She needs to eat balanced meals so she gets vitamins that curry can’t give her…”
: “But man, the expression on Futaba’s face when she took a bite of that curry… eh, forget it. Maybe I’ll have to stick with curry as the staple, but I can sneak in some veggies here and there.”
: I’m going to cut the update here, because we have Hifumi’s Rank 9 coming up on the 24th. Naturally, I’ll be doing her Rank 10 in the same update.
: Next time, we’ll finish Hifumi’s confidant, go to a maid cafe, and blow off visiting Yoshida in favor of teaching Makoto Concentrate. We might also finish billiards, it depends.