Colors Flying High - Let's Play Persona 5 Royal

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 59

: Oh no, Graham! Watch out for those nasty gamers!

: “A nasty gamer… it’s definitely possible he’ll exist in Mementos. Mishima said he’s at the arcade on Central Street, right? Let’s go see what this is all about.”

: You can see the name on the sign in the lower left, it’s in Katakana. From what I understand, “Gun About” is a localization failure. You can see that the top line reads “Ga-na” and then the bottom line reads “Ba-u-to”. The actual name would be “Gunner Bout”… which makes a lot more sense.

: Gunner Bout is based off an actual arcade game called Gunslinger Stratos, which was an online light gun game made by Taito. They had it at Magfest one year. From what I remember, the machine in game looks identical to the real arcade machine.

: Gunslinger Stratos went through three iterations, with each one having the servers shut down a couple years after release. The third game’s servers went down in April 2021.

: They also released a PC version that was Japan-only, and I’m really interested to know how that worked.

: So wait, I thought he played in this particular arcade. That was the entire reason we came here.

: I also have to wonder how this guy would cheat at Gunslinger Stratos. The first version was on a dedicated board even though it came out in 2012, when most arcade games were moving to using locked-down Windows PCs.

: The second version replaced the dedicated board with a PC, but it’d probably take some doing to hack it.

: Yeah, you’re really gonna win against a guy who has access to the machine’s innards and presumably coded his own hack for it.

: “So that’s the malevolent player that Mishima was talking about… he’s the infamous cheater. It’s one thing to cheat if you’re playing alone, but it’s wrong to mess with other people like that.”

: “We got his name, too. It looks like Yoshikuni Nejima is going to be our next target.”

: “The first one is ‘go somewhere with lots of people.’ Ooh, I’ve got the perfect place! Akihabara Wars: Revenge of the Futaba!”

: Us gamers.

: “You’re going to Akihabara? …Be careful out there.”

: “Not as good as Inari though. He’s got a particularly pervy view on art.”

: Twenty years from now, someone is going to dig up this screenshot and laugh because 3TB SSDs go for a dollar. I can remember going to a Circuit City with my dad as a kid and there were people lined up because they had a sale on 20MB flash drives, which I think at the time retailed for around $50.

: “Mayday, mayday… I’m trapped in the Home Appliance Kingdom… the Three Terabyte War rages on outside… there are just… so many people… hrgh… I don’t know if I can last much longer…”

: “I… I, I, I…”

: I thought you were a GEP gun.

: “O-Oh… thanks. I didn’t think I was gonna see you until the end of time… but then I thought about you while I was wandering around the store, and bam, a wild Akira appeared!”

: US GAMERS AM I RIGHT

: “So you’re relieved? What an incredible coincidence! Me too. …Hm? Wait a tick, I just finished a promise! ‘Go somewhere with lots of people’!”

: “Well, am I awesome or what!? It’s all 'cause of the Three Terabyte War though! Oh, and 'cause you brought me here! I, Futaba Sakura, hereby thank thee!”

: I don’t know that I’d describe anything about this as ‘innocent joy’ but okay.

: “I dunno though… I panicked hard when I was soloing that dungeon… I think… not being with you is kinda scary, Akira.”

: If I were an anime and another anime said this to me, I would run because you just know it’s going to end with her stabbing someone.

: “It might be a long questline, but I’ll finish it someday! …Phew, I’m tired. C’mon, let’s go home!”

: That’s more or less my reaction to Moon. I just bought it after months of waiting for someone to dump a translated copy of the PS1 version, and the gameplay is just godawful.

: That’s not to say the story isn’t good, but the game is solidly stuck in 1997 and has no signposting whatsoever. There’s also zero guides for it apart from a single 12-hour-long video with no timestamps.

: “So I beat the ‘Go somewhere with lots of people’ goal. First try, too. Not bad! I’m still not sure how I’m supposed to beat ‘being okay without you around’… but at this pace, I’ll clear it in no time…! Right?”

: “Wooo! I got this! I don’t care how hard the quests are, I’ll take 'em all! Anyway, I guess the point is I gotta grind for now. Leveling up for a big encounter is basic stuff.”

: “I’m gonna do a little research. See if there are any other ways I can power up. Heh heh… this is all kinds of exciting, huh? Talk to you later!”

: “Being able to talk to each other openly like that must be nice…”

: Tonight is the night we can trade the Phantom Wafers for two Strength Up Ofuda, which double the damage of the next physical or gun skill used. These stack with Charge… I think.

: Instead of visiting Iwai, we’re going to use the jazz club tonight to teach Yusuke Charge. This will be very important in keeping Yusuke viable.

: The game repeats this twice - I cut the other mention, which is when you first enter the club. I wonder if they did this for CERO, the ESRB, or both. You’d think that in a series about kids shooting themselves in the head to summon Lucifer that nobody’d really give a shit about underage drinking.

: “I feel it! I feel the inspiration flowing in me! Hahahaha! I’m not going to be sleeping tonight!”

: “Delicious…! The portions are mixed perfectly…!”

: “When I’m absorbed in painting, I lose track of time… frequently, I don’t notice until after night has fallen. My body is so still that my shoulders start to stiffen up… painting is a fairly tiring activity, you know.”

: “The worst part is the pangs of hunger I feel after I finish though…”

: He doesn’t say boyfriend yet because we haven’t gotten to Rank 9. That won’t happen until October.

: I replaced the garbage speed buff he has with Charge, which will keep Yusuke viable until the end of the game.

: “Apologies for taking up a lot of time, but I appreciate you bringing me here. It looks like it’s time to head home. Hmhm. That was an evening well spent. See you around.”

: “Looks like people are coming around to us.”

: I cut a lot of this out, but this part’s important. The arcade in Akihabara also has a Gunner Bout machine. That’s where we’re going to find the second-to-last confidant in the game once we finish the stupid Mementos request. It’s also the source of one of the best memes about Persona 5.

: This is the spot where I permafucked. We needed to get a reading for Ohya several days ago, and I just kinda forgot to do it. I wound up accidentally hitting Iwai in the menu, and once you get one you can’t re-do it.

: Oh yeah, you can do the Caroline and Justine outings from any Velvet Room - not just the one in Shibuya. This brings up even more questions, like how no one sees Caroline sitting on nothing.

: “Listen closely: the place we wish to evaluate for your rehabilitation is… a place where land, water, and sun all meet.”

: “People around here have been looking grimmer than ever lately - probably because of ‘the heat,’ as they say.”

: “During this season, large numbers of humans gather at a scorching border between ‘Mother Ocean’ and the land. Why would they subject themselves to such a harsh environment…? We demand a satisfactory answer.”

: “So, what’ll it be?”

: I should note that this outing is both time limited and completely optional - you will still get the reward at the end even if you skip out on this one. The reason we’re doing it is because the only confidant available during the day is Futaba.

: “Ooh, so you do know it! C’mon, let’s go! Move it!”

: “I’ve heard that humans can fall prey to ‘heatstrokes’ during this season. Let us take care to avoid a similar fate.”

: “Why did they come here, of all places? It’s so hot…”

: “Perhaps they are trying to catch the cool air blowing over the water. We are rather interested in entering the water ourselves, if possible…”

: “You’re talking about special apparel for entering water, yes? Of course we lack such things.”

: “And we can’t go in the water in these outfits… our master would be none too pleased upon our return.”

: “By the way, I noticed a peculiar group over there… I do not know why, but they stand in a loose formation, striking a plastic sphere back and forth…”

: “It was probably a summoning ritual. See? It looks like they’re trying to build a shriveled Decarabia army.”

: It’s entirely possible to play this and not have seen a Decarabia yet because they only appear in Okumura’s palace - which we can’t even get into until it’s too late to do this outing.

: Decarabia is a star-shaped demon that is weak to physical but learns Megidola at level 38 and I think also learns Fire Boost. They die if you so much as look at them funny.

: Incidentally, Decarabia is the 69th demon in the Ars Goetia and has knowledge of herbs, making them the 69/420 demon.

: “Beach volleyball?”

: “Never heard of it. What is it?”

: “It see. So it is a form of human recreation.”

: “Is that some variation of beach volleyball they’re playing over there? It looks like they’re using a ball as well…”

: Jump, jump! Slide, slide! Megaman 8 was a mistake on so many levels.

: “I know what this is - it’s called suika wari, correct? From what I’ve heard, splitting a watermelon with a stick can be a great pleasure…”

: Okay, so you didn’t know what a burger is… but you know about the whole blindfolded hit the watermelon with the stick game.

: “How barbaric… what’s so fun about that?”

: “Ohhh! So, splitting a watermelon open makes it taste better than simply cutting into it?”

: “Human desire knows no bounds when it comes to food… so this place has more benefits to it than just an ocean breeze.”

: “Humans can come here to fulfill their desires and release their frustration. Then, the ocean sweeps up all those feelings and washes them away… I must say, I find myself quite impressed with this ‘Mother Ocean’.”

: “We now know why humans gather at the beach, so we have determined this request to be complete.”

: “Here is your reward.”

: Meh. Growth 2 is one of those things where it’s nice but not good enough to waste a slot on.

: “As suggested by the moniker ‘Mother Ocean,’ some say humanity was originally born from the ocean. Perhaps the true reason humans gather here is that their instincts beckon them home.”

: “Hey, inmate - do you grow nostalgic when you swim in ‘Mother Ocean’? Try swimming with a ball and chain on your leg next time. I bet that’ll help with your rehabilitation, too.”

: “I see… oh yeah… there’s something I need to apologize to you about. You know, it’s part of my job to research particular things. Well, um… I ended up finding out about… your criminal record.”

: It’s surprising she didn’t already know, given that Mishima leaked it on the internet.

: “I realized you weren’t just some ordinary kid back with my chief… so I did some digging out of curiosity, and I found a ton more than I was expecting. So… sorry about that.”

: “Well, just forget the past. We’re in the same boat when it comes to being labelled.”

: “Exactly. I’ve made a vow to avenge my partner for -”

: “W-wait, don’t blame me for that! He doesn’t have anything to do with my private business…”

: “I mean, it’s not like I don’t trust you… and hold on a sec! Why am I being treated like the bad guy!?”

: “That’s true. And… I guess this is the fairest course of action for our business partnership, huh? Just… don’t tell anyone, okay?”

: And naturally, Ohya is a direct ripoff of Maya in as many ways as possible, because what Tadashi creates, Rehashino steals. We haven’t seen it because I haven’t touched Eternal Punishment, but early on in EP it’s established that Maya’s editor hates both her and Yukino.

: Also established at the beginning of EP is that the editor split up Yukino and Maya because she’s kind of a bitch.

: “We were a pretty well-known team in the industry. We blew the lids off countless scandals together. …That is, until that day came.”

: You mean the day you went to Seven Sisters and got accosted by a guy wearing a paper bag over his head?

: “We were on the trail of a certain bureaucrat, who was involved in a slush fund to support refugees. He kept himself pretty well guarded, so it was almost impossible to get any solid leads on the guy…”

: “Then one night, I got a voicemail from Kayo saying she had gotten hold of something big. But… that was the last I ever heard from her. The next day, that bureaucrat was found dead at a love hotel… and Kayo had gone missing.”

: “Well…”

: You can probably guess how he actually died.

: “That’s impossible though! She never would have slept with a disgusting man like that! And more importantly, it’s pretty damn fucked up to make allegations like that without any evidence!”

: “…Sorry. The case was closed, but we never found the truth… and Kayo was labeled a professional disgrace. And since we were partners, the company decided it would be best to move me to another department.”

: “I’m going to prove Kayo’s innocence though. That’s why I’m conducting my own private investigation now.”

: “…You’re damn right. But… thanks to all the info you’ve been giving me, I should have more time to focus on my investigation. I won’t let this opportunity slip through my fingers.”

: “…All right, we’re even now! I didn’t enjoy it though.”

: “W-Well… maybe you’re right. I haven’t felt this alive in a long time. Okay then, I’ll write a great article to commemorate our sharing session!”

: " ‘Exclusive: The Phantom Thieves’ Lofty Ideals in Connection with a Secret Society!’ Haha, just kidding! Don’t worry, I’ll definitely come up with a better headline before we go to print!"

: This is kind of a nothing ability. You start with a small amount of security level when you enter a palace, and usually lose it in the first couple of minutes by ambushing enemies. It might be more useful if you’re not going for one-day dungeons.

: “Still… there’s just one thing that bothers me. There’s no doubt the chief is on to my investigation. Maybe we should keep acting like a couple so we can trick him. How’s that sound?”

: “I’m sorry about earlier. Really. For me digging up your records and such without asking, I mean…”

: “Thanks. Hearing you say that helps. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna leak it to anyone. It’s my duty and pride as a journalist to protect my sources at all costs.”

: “I’m actually making great progress on my private investigation, thanks to you. And I’ll be needing your help later, too. So I can find out what really happened to Kayo.”

: “You know the rankings that are popular nowadays? Are you interested in them too?”

: “You’re not interested…? Are you the type to go against the trend? Did you know my name is listed too? It’s apparently due to my recent disapproval of the group.”

: “Before I knew it, I turned into a bona fide villain. Still, I thought that if I became a target, I could figure out their methods. The idea was appealing when I thought about it. Of course, there’s no guarantee I’d be safe.”

: I mean, apart from the fact that you can hear Morgana and thus either have a Persona or have seen him talk in the other world.

: “You should check out the list sometime. …Well, talking any more will make us late. See you later!”

: That’s because they’re called John Persona god don’t you know anything

: This is rapidly becoming the Joker Game.

: This scene was changed in Royal for no apparent reason. In the base game, the dialog was largely the same, except it was Mr. Hiruta instead of Maruki.

: “The school trip’s tomorrow, huh? I always got so excited the night before my trips. You leave tomorrow, right? It’ll take six or seven hours to get to Hawaii, so… it’ll be morning when you arrive.”

: You would think they’d do something with this and have the calendar roll back when you arrive, but they don’t.

: “You’re leaving at night, but arriving in the morning of the 7th… that might be quite a shock to your systems. Jetlag is one thing, but our perception of time itself can become distorted sometimes.”

: “Have you ever looked at your watch and felt like the second hand stopped for longer than a second? Say, Kurusu-kun. Do you know the name of the phenomenon where the second hand looks like it’s stopped moving?”

: I’m picturing Hashino’s co-workers going “Jeez, Boomer Bill, it’s 2016. No one wears an analog watch anymore.”

: Vierordt’s Law is a principle in psychology created by Karl von Vierordt in 1868 that states that people tend to overestimate short periods of time and underestimate long periods.

: The other two are, of course, a Jojo reference (the Stardust Crusaders anime released in 2014, right around the time the base game was being worked on) and a Metal Gear reference. Both of those wrong answers existed in the base game.

: “Yeah! That’s correct. When a person changes their viewpoint, there’s a moment of time that goes unaccounted for in their mind.”

: “In order to fill that blank, the brain experiences a fictional moment. That’s where this phenomenon comes from.”

: “The human brain really is incredible, right? It can make you feel like time has stopped. Oh, but my time’s already up. I want to hear all your stories when you get back, okay? Have fun!”

: “…You’re going to Hawaii tomorrow, huh. Don’t worry about the house. I’ll… well, me and Futaba can hold down the fort.”

: If you aren’t from the US and are reading this LP, please know that LA is indeed our capitol and is located in California, which is right in the middle of the country. Ignore anyone who tells you that’s Kansas - Kansas doesn’t exist, we do that to throw off the foreigners.

: “…Come on. Can’t you guys be a little more mature about this? I know you guys are getting excited for the trip, but you’re getting a little carried away.”

: We have one last Mementos request to grab, and it’s Tae’s. We’ll be going in on the 19th - I think I said the 16th earlier.

: “Sorry, I’m going to pass on it today.”

: You need Charm at Rank 4 to do this, but that’s not a problem at this point.

: “I… need to talk to you. Since this might be the last time…”

: “I’m thinking of resigning.”

: “Several of my suppliers have stated that they’re going to stop selling to me. If I can’t get my hands on medical supplies, I won’t be able to get what I need to complete the new medicine.”

: “They’re probably being pressured by Oyamada to stop doing business with me. So I figure it’s over.”

: “It’s fine. I confirmed with the hospital Miwa-chan was being treated at… Oyamada was telling the truth. Miwa-chan was apparently smiling until the very end. She probably didn’t want to worry anyone.”

: “I wish I could’ve cured her… I didn’t want fame or money. All I wanted… was to keep her smiling. This isn’t just about her though…”

: “I was a sickly child when I was young too… I was always in the hospital… and was rarely well enough to attend school. Medicine was all that kept me alive…”

: Oh, so you’re an anime trope. Got it.

: “That’s why I wanted to become a doctor… so I could save people, just like I was saved… but I guess this is where it ends…”

: “The medical industry is a business, after all, and the chief decides what’s best for it. I’m all out of allies…”

: “Yeah… you’re right. You might just be my one and only… I really appreciate everything you’ve done. My practice increased thanks to your nosiness, and in the end, I felt like a real doctor again.”

: “…There are plenty of other small-town doctors. This is where it ends. …Although it frustrates me. I can’t do clinical trials anymore, so you can go home.”

: “Thanks again for all your help. And good luck on those entrance exams.”

: With the smaller Mementos requests, I can understand why Joker would need someone to tell him the person’s name, but Oyamada is apparently the chief of staff at a major hospital.

: It would’ve been better writing to have Joker ask her what hospital she worked at and then search online to find Oyamada’s name, or just had him look it up after the event.

: “…You’re such a weird kid. His full name is Shoichi Oyamada. He’s a very influential Chief of Staff in the world of medicine… is that all?”

: “You guys are still talking about that trip…?”

: “Your school trip’s tomorrow, right? You don’t need to worry about us.”

: Unfortunately, we can’t leave or do anything but sleep.

: “Uh… never mind. Have fun on your trip…”

: Next time, we’ll go through an hour-long cutscene with five different scenes in it, because unlike that other LP I don’t give up on 100%. We’ll also see a new More Like Yusu-Gay by Salty Vanilla - because like this LP, they’re ahead of schedule and under budget on doing the job Hashino wouldn’t.

: I believe their commissions are open right now as well.

[drcakey]

@Timrod

: That’s more or less my reaction to Moon. I just bought it after months of waiting for someone to dump a translated copy of the PS1 version, and the gameplay is just godawful.

Oh yeah, my friend played Moon, or at least some of it. He’s the kind of person who plays odd games because they’re odd. He said it was odd.

Its Wikipedia page does, however, have one of the greatest pairs of sentences I’ve ever read: “Although it was not officially localized for many years, it influenced Toby Fox for the design of his 2015 game Undertale. After speaking with Fox, original designer Yoshiro Kimura was inspired to localize Moon.”

@Timrod

: “We now know why humans gather at the beach, so we have determined this request to be complete.”

Persona 5 may have taken like eight years to develop and been the biggest, most important moment in the history of video games, but a quick shoutout to Atlus for still developing like they make games that don’t sell. Sure, they could have had Caroline and Justine actually play volleyball and whack a watermelon with a stick, but then they’d have to animate it and animation…is hard.

[SpammyV]

Moon’s good but can be a very weird game, and the translation is a little unclear in the Switch port in a few places. Which does bode a little ill for what is essentially a puzzle game. It is really good though.

Also ha ha, Morgana is totally a cat he’s got the separation anxiety as soon as he sees a suitcase come out.

[Timrod]

@drcakey

Persona 5 may have taken like eight years to develop and been the biggest, most important moment in the history of video games, but a quick shoutout to Atlus for still developing like they make games that don’t sell. Sure, they could have had Caroline and Justine actually play volleyball and whack a watermelon with a stick, but then they’d have to animate it and animation…is hard.

I know exactly why they didn’t do it. It’s engine limitations. Persona 5 was built on a custom engine for the PS3 - remember, it was in development before the PS4’s release and they had to announce a PS4 version - and had to adhere to the PS3’s memory limitations. The PS4 version is basically just an upscale of the PS3 one with slightly better load times.

To save memory, they made the models for the social parts of the game less detailed and covered it up with the big expensive anime portraits and some fancy lighting. This is why (and I don’t usually show this) you see the characters react with exclamation points and big anime sweatdrops rather than actually expressing anything.

In this particular case, they probably could’ve done that because Caroline and Justine only have the more detailed models used in battles, but it would’ve stood out and made the rest of the game look like shit if they did that.

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 60

: I hope you’re all ready for about an hour of solid cutscene that only got longer in Royal. That’s not counting the multiple re-records (which I still haven’t finished) to cover all the possible scenes.

: “Don’t go cutting loose just 'cause I’m not there to keep an eye on you. I’ll look after Futaba and the cat while you’re gone. You owe me one.”

: What he means by that is he’s going to let Futaba feed Morgana while he stands behind the counter with a smug look on his face.

: “…Good.”

: “It’ll take over six hours to get there, so why not sleep on the plane?”

: “I’ll do that…”

: “It’s almost time to check in.”

: “Phew, looks like it’s gonna take off on time. I feel like a lot of flights headed to America tend to run late or get cancelled.”

: The last time I went to Magfest, my flight got delayed nearly fifteen hours. I had to switch carriers and take a midnight flight out of DC.

: “Is it just me or is Ryuji not here yet?”

: “Coming late even on a day like this?”

: “That’s all you’re bringing?”

: I don’t know what they’re talking about. That backpack he has is probably the size of Ann or Makoto’s suitcases… unless they checked multiple bags.

: Joker clearly has never heard of something called On-Site Procurement. I mean, technically Hideo Kojima never heard of it either since it’s a term the translator for Metal Gear Solid made up to try and explain why Snake starts without even a gun.

: “Really? You guys are just freakin’ out over this.”

: “Well, I guess it’s better than bringing too many useless things.”

: “Why don’t we do a group shot before we take off?”

: “Ooh, sounds good! You be our cameraman, okay?”

: “Lemme join in too! You too, Makoto.”

: “All right.”

: I missed the first shot of this, that’s why the second line is in there.

: “What? Holy shit, she’s right…”

: “How could you tell, Futaba?”

: “Talk about a nasty trick…”

: “I am so glad she’s not an enemy of ours.”

: I missed a couple of very short subtitles at the beginning of this cutscene. You’ll also notice that the calendar has advanced even though they’re landing on the 7th.

: The other LP called this an error, and in the base game it might’ve been, but Royal comes up with a reason why the calendar doesn’t change - the reason is that there’s a scene in Japan during this time and they didn’t want to confuse people.

: If you take away the subtitles and reverse these last two shots, this is basically my reaction any time I think about Hashino’s writing for too long.

: Ryuji’s voiceactor says something like “Yes, yes, I am Japanese” in heavily accented English. I don’t know what the dubbed version of this scene is like, and I don’t think I want to know.

: I mean, of course he speaks Japanese, Ryuji. Even Space Brothers (a series that took place almost entirely in the US) had zero English-speaking characters.

: “…I am SO embarrassed.”

: “Is this the smell of Hawaii? Actually, I’ve been wonderin’ since the airport, but what is this smell?”

: “Supposedly the lingering scent of carpet cleaner. It’s coconut-scented. Plus, I’d say the scent of plumeria for the leis are amplifying the tropical atmosphere here.”

: It’s like that time I went to Florida, where the swampy overgrowth surrounding all the million-plus dollar homes says “If it weren’t for millions of dollars in chemicals and an army of landscapers, this entire place would eventually return to being a nigh-uninhabitable swamp.”

: “What are you, the king of random facts!?”

: “I’m the type that likes to look stuff up beforehand.”

: “Then tell me a cheap but good place to eat.”

: “Do that after we’ve figured out room assignments! We can’t go out until we get our keys!”

: I guess this is as good a time as any to mention that Kentaro Miura died last night. I didn’t think I’d have to mention that in this LP, but then I remembered that there actually is a character design in this game heavily inspired by (read: basically a copyright-friendly ripoff of) Berserk.

: I hadn’t actually read Berserk since probably 2008, and when I heard that Berserk was over I figured he’d probably just called it quits since the last 13 years or so had been filler arcs and breaks.

: “I can’t?”

: “It complicates roll call.”

: “Everyone butts you out, after all. I bet there aren’t many people who’d be okay rooming with you.”

: “Shuddup, we both stick out like a sore thumb, you know.”

: “No, not yet.”

: “Oh, sure, of course! Well, see you guys later.”

: “C’mon, can you just hurry up and make your decision?”

: Straight Joker just goes “I’m gonna room with Kawakami” and heads off.

: “Then, is it okay if I room with you?”

: “Sheesh… this is too much trouble, so you’re rooming with Mishima-kun. Period. Anyway, don’t do anything stupid, okay? This isn’t Japan, you know.”

: I mean, this is only the country where you burn down hundreds of thousands of acres of forest doing a gender reveal party.

: “There sure are a ton of people here. And… a lot of tall buildings, like hotels.”

: This seems weird coming from someone who lives in one of the most densely-populated cities in the world.

: “It’s a little too clean here. It feels like an artificial resort.”

: “Still, look how clear the ocean is. The palm trees definitely give off a tropical vibe too.”

: “I thought Ann was pretty impressive, but compared to the foreign ladies… eh.”

: “Then stop looking!”

: “Moving on, take a look over there. Isn’t that Diamond Head?”

: In case you’re wondering, Diamond Head is a giant crater that at one point served as a defensive artillery post. That’s how America works - we just kind of look at things and go “Could we mount a gun on that?”

: “But why’s it called that? Are diamonds a local product?”

: “Wouldn’t it say online?”

: “…Wait, people long ago mistook volcanic rock for it? The eff?”

: This is actually true, at least according to tourism websites for Hawaii. The crater’s original name is Leahi. The Diamond Head name supposedly came from British sailors who spotted volcanic crystals on the slopes and thought they were diamonds.

: “Might as well look up recommended places in Waikiki too. Oh right, I wanted to eat pancakes.”

: “I wonder if there are any online recommendations of scenic spots.”

: “We should check for cheap and popular restaurants then.”

: “…Hey, we’re on our phones and chatting. This is no different from when we’re in Japan.”

: “Even if we’re overseas, we can see all the news in Japan if we got our phones… it’s like… this ain’t what I was expectin’…”

: “We should do something that’s more Hawaii-like.”

: “What’s… Hawaii-like?”

: The transition screens during the Hawaii cutscenes are different.

: “Oh, by the way, you know how the polls for the Phan-Site’s ranking’s started, right?”

: Joker is wishing Yusuke were here.

: “On the contrary, did you hear about Akechi, that detective against the Thieves? The good-looking one. His popularity plummeted after Medjed was dealt with. Supposedly his official blog’s up in flames.”

: “He posed as some hero of justice, but that’s what he gets for not seeing eye to eye with them. To be blunt, I can’t focus on this trip. I keep thinking about the Phantom Thieves.”

: “Don’t you think about them too?”

: I feel like I should cut this off because Mishima is rapidly ascending the “Most Annoying Character” leaderboard.

: “You sure are calm. Something this amazing rarely happens, you know? But, then again, I think I’m feeling a bit tired too… let’s go to bed. Good night.”

: The approval bar keeps going up and reaches a nice number.

: “I thought we were gonna be gettin’ alohas comin’ from all directions and stuff!”

: “It costs money to enjoy that atmosphere, you know. There’s not much we can do as students.”

: “I guess it’s the same no matter where we go…”

: “Hey. What’s with the low energy, Makoto?”

: “I just had to listen to the taxi driver complain for thirty minutes straight. I’m used to dealing with students’ troubles, but I never expected to have to do it overseas as well…”

: The cab driver was from New York and drove several weeks underwater to reach Hawaii, which I’m pretty sure they’re capable of.

: “That must have sucked.”

: “We should be doin’ some more excitin’ stuff! I mean, we’re in freakin’ Hawaii, for god’s sake! Isn’t the school supposed to plan stuff? I wanna go divin’!”

: I feel like Makoto pretty much summed up Persona 5’s development as a whole. Seriously though, this isn’t even as ridiculous as this cutscene gets.

: “By the way, Akira… you’re roomin’ with Mishima, right? How is it? Anythin’ interestin’?”

: “Really? Mishima-kun is the one who made the Phan-Site, correct?”

: “Phan-Site… y’know, I do hear people talkin’ about the Phantom Thieves every so often…”

: “Are they really mentioning us?”

: “I think so! We’ve already made our international debut! Man, just talkin’ about that makes me wanna go back to Japan so bad!”

: “You really have no chill.”

: “Come on, let’s try and forget about those things for now.”

: Yusuke’s here for no apparent reason!

: “What are you doing here!?”

: “Wasn’t your school supposed to be going to Los Angeles?”

: The other LP points out how ridiculous it is that Yusuke would be staying in the same hotel on the same island, but ignores just how insane of a flight diversion that would be.

: First, we need to understand what the typical flight path from Japan to LA looks like.

: Long flights take an arc-shaped flight path because of the ‘great circle’ principle, which involves finding the shortest route between two points on a sphere.

: Notice how that flight path goes nowhere NEAR Hawaii. The reason it arcs to the north of Tokyo and not to the south is because that’s more or less where the jet stream is.

: Even assuming there was a storm big enough to cover the entire coast of California and prevent planes from landing, the airline would more likely try to land in Oregon somewhere (~965 miles) or Washington (~1300 miles) than they would be to go 2,558 miles to Waikiki. There’s really no situation in which it would make sense for the plane to attempt to land there.

: “Do you just bring rain with you wherever you go!?”

: “Could it be that what happened at the fireworks festival was his fault as well?”

: “Don’t go bringing any storms here, you got that?”

: “I’ll do my best.”

: “By the way, there’s nothing planned after this. What are you all going to do?”

: “Uh… oh yeah, I still gotta buy souvenirs. My mom asked me to grab some stuff for her.”

: “I totally forgot about that! We need to pick things up for Futaba and Morgana too.”

: “I was hoping to do some shopping myself.”

: “Then it’s settled. I wonder what Morgana would want…”

: Joker’s like “He wants me to crossdress, and I’m not doing it.”

: “Yeah, it’s been gettin’ real popular in Japan lately. I guess they wanted to branch out.”

: “Now that you mention it, I read a news article recently about the success of Okumura Foods.”

: I think I showed it off once or twice, but if you watch the TV in Leblanc regularly, there’s a bunch of stories about competitors to Okumura Foods mysteriously having people die.

: “Ah yes, the company that owns Big Bang Burger.”

: “Okumura…? Ain’t that the guy who’s at the top of the Phan-Site rankings?”

: “Is that true?”

: “I guarantee it. I don’t make mistakes about that kinda stuff.”

: “Yeah. I didn’t put the pieces together before, but I guess we know 'em pretty well.”

: “Hm? What’s the matter?”

: “Oh, it’s probably nothing. Just a rumor I heard about Okumura Foods… supposedly, all of their overseas competition has mysteriously pulled out.”

: “Never mind. I’m surely just overthinking things. Sis’s habits seem to be rubbing off on me.”

: “Hey, why don’t we take a pic together!? Y’know, so we can remember the trip and all!”

: “Ooh, good idea!”

: “Are you sure you don’t want to be in it? Thanks.”

: “I only ask that you ensure the composition is well-balanced.”

: Fortunately, Joker is an expert in boyfriend photography.

: “Can you not worry about that stuff for one second?”

: “Go for it, Akira.”

: Wow, it sure looks remarkably more detailed when it’s (presumably) hand-drawn animation as opposed to PS3-era models.

: “We still have some time to spare, right? Where to next?”

: “There’s a convenience store down by the beach. How 'bout there?”

: They are going to be sorely disappointed when they go to an American convenience store and find out it’s got very little in common with Japanese ones.

: That’s probably a good thing when you consider stories like this one (alternate source) where a 7-11 franchise owner decided to cut his store’s hours because he couldn’t find anyone to cover that shift and sparked a massive legal battle with corporate.

: Seriously, it got so heated that 7-11 corporate not only cancelled this guy’s franchise, but also built a second 7-11 in the parking lot of the 7-11 they had just shut down to stop him trying to continue his business.

: I don’t remember if it’s the New York Times or the Japan Times article that mentions it, but the Japanese government considers 7-11 to be essential infrastructure, which is kinda fucked.

: “That sounds lovely. I would quite like a short rest.”

: “All right, let’s head over there.”

: “You might be right… oh, shoot! I forgot my sunscreen… I’m going to go buy another bottle at the convenience store.”

: “I’ll go with you.”

: “I guess we will need to wait for them to come back.”

: “By the way, you think we’re the thieves everyone here’s been goin’ on about? It’d be pretty freakin’ crazy if that was true, huh?”

: “Hm… I had not heard of such rumors. It sounds wonderful. We are already here, so why don’t we confirm if that is the case?”

: “Oh! Good idea! Let’s try askin’ around while we wait for Ann and Makoto!”

: If you’re ever playing this yourself, I highly recommend you save here. This is the only opportunity you have to save during the entire Hawaii trip, and we have a scene choice coming up.

: “…He actually seems to be quite knowledgeable.”

: “Damn, it’s crazy how many people know about us! This is freakin’ awesome!”

: “Ooooh!”

: “That’s actually all I wanted to know. Thanks.”

: “Hm, I suppose that understanding isn’t necessarily incorrect for someone from a foreign country…”

: I mean, Yusuke’s some armor away from being a samurai… and a kimono away from also being a geisha.

: “Hey, ain’t she kinda cute? Maybe we should ask her some questions too.”

: You’d think Ryuji would recognize her Shujin uniform, but most of it’s hidden underneath her… I’m not entirely sure what you’d call that sleeveless thing - it’s not really a vest, not really a blouse.

: “Free time is almost up. Shouldn’t you be heading back soon?”

: While every other party member had their portraits totally redesigned for Royal (adding things like the facing-the-camera view for Ann and Ryuji), Haru’s were totally untouched.

: As such, she only has the three-quarters portraits that were in the base game, possibly because of her very uh… forehead-exposing haircut.

: Multiple artists have tried to fix Haru’s haircut, with varying results.

: “Oh, yes… by the way, your blond friend seemed very excited on the airplane coming here.”

: “Hey, you’re that girl we saw watering the plants!”

: “Sorry to surprise you. I’m another third-year who was asked to come chaperone this trip. I accepted the task to take my mind off of things, but I wasn’t sure how to spend my free time…”

: People have pointed out that technically, Ann and Makoto have large foreheads but you can’t see them underneath their bangs.

: If I was an anime girl, I would merely go the Sadako route and have so much hair that you cannot tell where my forehead is or discern its size.

: “I…think I should be going. See you.”

: “Hm, that girl you were talking to just now… do you know her?”

: “No, that was my first interaction with her. She said she was a third-year. Same as you, Makoto.”

: “Mm-hm. I’ve never really spoken to her though.”

: If you’ve read the base game LP, you’ll notice this scene isn’t in it. I believe that’s because to get this scene, you have to be at Rank 10 with Kawakami and also on her romance route.

: Apart from an upcoming optional scene, this is the only time you will ever see Kawakami in her swimsuit.

: “One after another too…”

: “What did you find?”

: “Still working. Can’t tell you.”

: “She can handle this without me…”

: “Oooh, so much.”

: “Kitty! Your mumbling’s distracting me! If you got something to say, just spit it out.”

: “It’s nothing.”

: “You feel so nice.”

: Sure, he feels nice now, but will he feel nice when he’s stepping on your face at 4AM to beg for food?

: “I do not!”

: “So smooth and silky. It’s kinda hard to believe fur this soft belongs to a human.”

: “Don’t make me say it again! I’m a human…”

: Morgana: “And I’m coming! I’m animated! I’m alive! I like Ann, but also want to see Joker in a dress! I like to fuck!” and then Futaba blasts him with the air horn.

: “Couldn’t you just be assuming that? I had the wrong assumptions about my mom for the longest time.”

: “That’s not the same! I understand myself better than anyone!”

: “That’s true.”

: “Oh, wow! The president of a company called Okumura Foods is rising very quickly up the rankings!”

: “Come on, you can’t let this chance pass you by! It’s rumored that Okumura Foods exploits their employees. Stuff like underpaying staff to reduce labor costs. That’s how they have so many stores…”

: I mean, that’s only every major retailer everywhere. Plus most restaurants.

: “Why are you here?”

: “Just hear me out! The guy I’m roomin’ with went and brought his girlfriend back to the room! I felt totally awkward stayin’ in there with them. I’m just gonna sleep here tonight.”

: “Even though there are only two beds?”

: “I know that feelin’!”

: “And she took the key! I stepped outside for just a second and the autolock kicked in! I can’t get back in my room!”

: “Huh? You’re lookin’ at stuff online even over here?”

: “Ever since the Medjed case, many people from overseas have been accessing the website… isn’t it crazy? The Phantom Thieves are finally making their worldwide debut!”

: “What should I do about overseas requests?”

: “I don’t think we’re the ones you should ask about that…”

: “They took down Medjed. I wonder who they’ll bring justice to next. It’s not just Japan anymore. The whole world’s waiting to see the Phantom Thieves’ next move.”

: He says this like he doesn’t know that everyone in the room is John Persona.

: “That reminds me, what time is it?”

: “So sleepy… I’m feelin’ pretty pooped. You think this could be that jet lag thing?”

: “Wait, what? I dunno if that’s a good idea.”

: “I won’t go back.”

: “…You heard her.”

: “There are only two beds… even if someone sleeps on the sofa…”

: “One of us is gonna have to sleep on the floor… so who’s that gonna be?”

: “Hey, where’d Mishima go?”

: “He’s in the bathroom.”

: “Ain’t he been in there a while?”

: “The school trip… Shiho was really looking forward to this…”

: “Ann…”

: “…Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring the mood down. But it’s already been almost six months since then, hasn’t it? This all feels so strange.”

: “Right? Hard to believe the rowdy kids at school are now famous all over the world.”

: “Don’t you think we still have a lot to learn about each other though? You know, things like what kind of people we like… so, time to come clean, Ryuji.”

: Ryuji is for Ann and everyone knows it.

: “Me!? Uhhh, well… she’s gotta have a good personality. I’m okay with anyone who’s modest and nice.”

: “What about if two girls with equally good personalities confessed to you at the same time?”

: I would simply date them both.

: “What!?”

: “Your first answer was just superficial. The second answer was your true beliefs. Huh, so you really are that kind of guy…”

: “That ain’t fair!”

: “What about you, Akira? C’mon, spill the beans. What kind of girl is your type?”

: His type is, of course, Yusuke.

: “You totally dodged the question… well, we answered honestly. It’s your turn next. So, what kinda guy do you-”

: “So, what kinda guy do you-”

: “M-My stomach… Hrgh…!”

: “That doesn’t sound good…”

: “Y-know, wasn’t he drinkin’ the tap water earlier? That’s like, the one thing you’re not supposed to do when you’re outta the country.”

: “Though it was some third-rate tabloid’s article, unnecessary information was leaked, after all. Besides, his investigation of the Phantom Thieves showed no progress since then…”

: “Yes, there’s a possibility that he’ll betray us out of spite since he was let go. Well then, we’ll make it so that it was a ‘heart attack’.”

: “As usual, he’ll be left to deal with the- oh? I wouldn’t have thought of that. Well played, sir. It no longer matters if we deal with one or two of those connected to us.”

: Man, Light Yagami really did not age well.

: The 10th is a little long, but we’re going to push on instead of stopping on the 9th. This is because there are optional scenes coming up.

: “Dammit, this isn’t how stuff was supposed to go!”

: “What do you mean?”

: “We ended up walkin’ around same as we always do in Japan… I mean we even ate at a freakin’ Big Bang Burger! It’s like we never left!”

: “Whine all you’d like, but that’s what the trip was supposed to be.”

: “But weren’t some other guys gettin’ all cozy with their girlfriends or some shit?”

: “I think…”

: “Then that’s it! That’s what this trip is missin’! C’mon, we totally gotta get movin’ during our free time in the afternoon.”

: You now have a pretty good idea of what Ryuji’s scene is like, if you pick him.

: “Me too?”

: “It’ll be great! Neither of us have girlfriends who’d get mad about it either!”

: “I guess that’s true, but…”

: “C’mon. I know you’re actin’ all cool, but you’re totally comin’ with. No question about it.”

: “Oooh, you got a message? Who could that - uhhh actually, you don’t gotta answer that. It might be something you-know-what… c’mon Mishima, let’s go!”

: “Wait, what just happened!? It’s only going to be the two of us, Sakamoto!?”

: “Don’t gimme that look! We’re goin’ to Waikiki! Try n’ get a little more excited!”

: And here’s where the optional scenes are.

: First up is Makoto. Her scene requires that you are Rank 5 with her, but disappears if you reach Rank 9 and do not choose her romance route.

: Ann’s scene requires that you are Rank 9 with her and that you chose her romance route.

: Hifumi requires that you are at or above Rank 5 with her. I don’t believe it’s possible to be Rank 9 with her at this point due to her Mementos request, even on a New Game +.

: Kawakami requires that you reach Rank 10 with her and are on her romance route.

: Finally, you have Ryuji’s scene, which is always available.

: For this update, we are going to pick Kawakami. This is why I mentioned that you want to save beforehand, because you can only see one scene per attempt.

: The reason we’re picking Kawakami first is that the Hawaii event gives you confidant points. To that end, the “canon” run will be with Makoto because she’s the only one we can use those points with.

: We can’t use them with Hifumi because she’s Mementos-locked and her confidant will automatically advance when we finish that on the 19th.

: Of course, the real canon run will be a More Like Yusu-Gay which will be going up immediately after this update. This means the following scene is absolutely non-canon.

: All five of the possible confidant events today take place in the same spot, and follow pretty much the same plot beats.

: “…Hey. What are you looking at?”

: “I appreciate your honesty. So, um… let’s take a walk.”

: “Tasting the local delicacies is an absolute must on vacation, don’t you think?”

: “Yay! Hey, mister! Two orders of garlic shrimp, please!”

: “Why does drinking on the beach have to be prohibited in Hawaii?”

: The order of this event just seems backwards - you’d think this would happen while they’re ordering the food.

: “Yes, we are.”

: “Wow, you’re very well-informed.”

: “You’re quite the celebrity.”

: This one line is the reason you need to be Rank 10 with Kawakami for this scene, as opposed to Ann where you only need to be Rank 9.

: “Okay, I’ll let them know.”

: He says this like it’s not a world where everyone apparently speaks perfect Japanese, which would mean he could go on the website and post a request.

: “I was having so much fun… I hope no one saw us.”

: “Although, I wouldn’t back down if someone actually confronted us about it. To tell you the truth, I’m worried that you’re lonely… because of the position I’m in… if that’s true, then… I’m sorry.”

: “…So do I. …Anyway, this is my first time here. Hawaii’s really nice, isn’t it? Let’s come back sometime, just the two of us.”

: Each of the five confidant events gives you a different accessory - these were changed from the base game because of how accessories were changed in Royal.

: The Hawaiian Ring gives the skill Evade Bless, which does exactly what it says.

: “Tadahhhh! That’s the power of a paycheck! …Just kidding. It’s to commemorate today.”

: Gay Joker is watching this and going “Wow, what a great idea. I could get Yusuke one of those.”

: “…Was that not a good idea? It’s gonna get dark soon… we should head back.”

: “Do you think I’ll have to go through this on future school events as well?”

: “Th-thanks? I guess I didn’t exactly turn down the invite either… sigh I don’t know… it’s fun hanging out with Sakamoto, but he might be too different from me…”

: “Is getting a girlfriend the only way out of this situation? Oh well… anyway, we need to wake up early tomorrow. Let’s get some sleep, okay?”

: This is the part where I start to hate this cutscene. In the base game, the Hawaii scene is about an hour long if you stop and read everything.

: This scene was added for Royal, and it’s like some writer at Atlus saw the complaints about the game being repetitive and having a lot of pointless cutscenes and went “You know what’ll fix this? More cutscenes.”

: “It’s not like anyone’s coming in anyway. Plus, if someone does come, you can just tell 'em it’s a cat cafe!”

: “You know that line’s not gonna work…”

: “What did I tell you!? Get that cat out of here!”

: “Oh no, please, there’s no need! I’m sorry!”

: “Hm? Wait a sec, it’s…”

: He was told that Joker, who he KNOWS IS IN HAWAII, lives in this cafe and he’s come to visit because, uh…

: “Not really. I’m just a counselor.”

: “Well in any case, I apologize for the cat. Normally he stays upstairs.”

: “It’s fine by me, I love animals. They don’t seem to share the sentiment though, haha.”

: “…The heck’s he doing here? Akira’s off on his little trip.”

: “No clue. He’s just some alien-level stranger to me.”

: “Sorry, did I frighten you? My apologies. I just found it impressive, is all.”

: “Sorry about the cold shoulder over there. Just take the cat upstairs, okay? I’ll call you back down when it’s all clear.”

: “C’mon, Futaba, we’ll just be in the way down here. Let’s go.”

: “That book…”

: “Oh, this? It’s on a subject called ‘cognitive psience’. Any interest?”

: Wait, what. Wasn’t Futaba’s mother the only person who knew about that until she was murdered for her research… which was also stolen before she could publish anything?

:

: “Wha-!? You’re… I’m sorry, but you need to leave. Don’t worry about the bill.”

: Sojiro about to fucking kill this dumbass cutscene.

: “Sojiro! He stays. What good is driving your few customers away gonna do you, anyhow?”

: “Futaba…”

: “Huh? Well… heh, no, not at all. I’m not a teacher.”

: “What’s it for, then?”

: “It’s just a personal interest of mine. I’ve been studying it for years now. It’s difficult to grasp at times, but it’s quite useful. Fun to study, too.”

: “It’s fun?”

: “Well, of course. It’s a wonderful division of science that can help many people. That makes it pretty fun, right?”

: “Mweheheh, yep! Mom thought the exact same thing!”

: “Mom?”

: “Her mother studied it too. What I don’t get is why you’re studying something like that, though. Well - you are a high school counselor, right? I guess it does make some ense, being related to your field an’ all…”

: “Your mom thought that too, huh? She sounds like a wonderful woman.”

: This is… suspicious. He’s trying to get information about her mother, arrived here to see Joker despite knowing Joker wouldn’t be there, and put that book out almost specifically so Futaba could see it.

: “Hell yeah, my mom owned. She loved me SO much!”

: “Past tense, huh? I see… Well, I’m sure she’d be very proud.”

: “C’mon Mona, let’s go! Off to a menless room!”

: Ignoring that Morgana is a male cat again.

: “Hey, wha- Futaba!”

: “Sorry about that. Would you care for another?”

: “Thank you. Your coffee truly is amazing.”

: That’ll do it for this update. Next up will be a new More Like Yusu-Gay, then the alternate scenes for Hawaii. We’re on cutscenes until… 09/18.

[Timrod]

: “I can’t believe they fell for that. A flight diversion to Hawaii from Los Angeles that just so happens to land on Waikiki?”

: “It was the best I could come up with. Thank you for buying my tickets here. I’m sure Los Angeles is lovely, but…”

: “Did you really have to bring the lobsters, though? How’d you even get those through airport security?”

: “I merely told the officers at the security checkpoint that they were my emotional support lobsters. They let me right through without even asking about it.”

: “…No way.”

: “I want them to see the world. To travel on beaches far from home and experience the delights of a foreign country.”

: “You know, with us out here on the beach… we almost look like a couple.”

: “…”

: “Okay, you’re right. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Want to go take the lobsters out to the ocean to play?”

: “That… would be lovely. Let us go.”

[drcakey]

@Timrod

: “Then that’s it! That’s what this trip is missin’! C’mon, we totally gotta get movin’ during our free time in the afternoon.”

No Ryuji! We already went to the beach to pick up girls! You didn’t even meet a robot last time - what makes you think this time will be better?

[SpammyV]

I almost wish they’d just went whole hog with it and every confidant shows up in Hawaii one after the other just so you can potentially have a scene with them. Chihaya is there for a conference. Ohya is looking for the scoops. Sojiro just got very lost driving the bachelormobile. Sae shows up because Joker’s dosed up and the leading questions are making reality start breaking down in his memory.

[Timrod]

@SpammyV

I almost wish they’d just went whole hog with it and every confidant shows up in Hawaii one after the other just so you can potentially have a scene with them. Chihaya is there for a conference. Ohya is looking for the scoops. Sojiro just got very lost driving the bachelormobile. Sae shows up because Joker’s dosed up and the leading questions are making reality start breaking down in his memory.

Yoshida shows up because he was campaigning and fell through a time warp to Hawaii.

@drcakey

No Ryuji! We already went to the beach to pick up girls! You didn’t even meet a robot last time - what makes you think this time will be better?

I just recorded Ryuji’s Hawaii scene, and yeah it’s pretty much exactly that.

[Timrod]

Summary

: We’ll start the alternate Hawaii scenes with Ann’s version of it.

: “…Aren’t you staring a little too much? This isn’t the first time you’ve seen me in this.”

: “Oh, come on… but… I’m glad to hear you say that, so I guess I can let you off the hook. Hey, let’s go for a walk.”

: “I’ve heard it’s super delish! Come on, we should try it!”

: Do we know that Persona 5 wasn’t sponsored by the Garlic Shrimp industry? Are we going to have to fight a villainous Forrest Gump who is attempting to take over the world’s supply of shrimp?

: “All right! I love that about you! Hi! Could I get two plates of garlic shrimp, please?”

: Honestly though, you’d think there would be garlic shrimp places all over Japan given that shrimp is a staple of Japanese cuisine… and that Hawaiian food and Japanese food are very closely intertwined.

: “Huh? Oh yes, we are.”

: “You know about the Phantom Thieves!?”

: “This is incredible!”

: “Well, I don’t think that’s really how it works… let’s go.”

: “I told Shiho I wasn’t into this cheesy dating stuff… but now that I’ve actually tried it out… it’s really not that bad.”

: “I guess it’s because I have someone special to do it with. …Thanks.”

: giggle “I love you too. Here, you can have this. It’ll help you remember how special today was.”

: The Menehune Dolls were nerfed from the base game - in the base game, they gave 5 Strength and 5 Endurance. In Royal, they only give 20 SP and are useless.

: Menehune, by the way, are kind of the Hawaiian equivalent of Koropokkuru - they’re mythical dwarves who supposedly lived on the Hawaiian islands before the original native Hawaiians arrived there.

: A number of natural formations are supposedly built by the Menehune, including Menehune Fishpond on Kauai.

: I feel like there are entirely too many building and/or crafting dwarves. Where the hell is my pizza made entirely by magical dwarves?

: By the way, there’s an unused scene in the Hawaii trip that was complete to the point where it had both a Japanese and English dub where the party goes to the Kamehameha statue. Unfortunately, I can’t link the video because the person who took it decided to hack it into the final dungeon and the last few seconds of the video gives you a clear shot of it.

: “Hey, let’s come back to Hawaii sometime. I mean… by ourselves.”

: "Yes! Anyway, it’s starting to get dark… should we head back?

: It sucks too because Ann complains about the statue being boring and then Ryuji just dunks on her by saying she wanted to see it because she’s a DBZ fan.

: Hifumi having a scene here is very strange because there’s no way you can reach her Rank 9 by this point due to her Mementos request.

: “Um… do I look strange in this? Perhaps I should go change…”

: “Huh…? Oh, thank you very much. Um… shall we take a walk?”

: I love how everyone else sees the shrimp and goes nuts for it, but Hifumi’s just “Meh, it’s shrimp.”

: “Shrimp are symbolic of living a long life. Shall we have some?”

: “I wonder how they’ll taste…”

: “…Yes.”

: “…You’ve heard about the Phantom Thieves?”

: “S-Sure…”

: “This is a refreshing break from staring at a shogi board all day long. …I feel as if I’ll be able to come up with some great new moves once I return home.”

: “Were you bored spending time with me? We would’ve had a more enjoyable time if I had made better conversation…”

: Joker pats her hand. “You don’t pointlessly extend cutscenes. I like that in a girl.”

: “…I’m happy to hear that. Um… this is for you… I would be delighted if you remembered this day…”

: The Honu Charm grants Evade Curse, which kind of makes no sense when you consider that Hifumi is the same arcana as Lucifer… who is immune to Curse.

: Honu is the Hawaiian word for the green sea turtle, which is actually native to a bunch of places going as far north as China. There’s even a small population that lives near Okinawa.

: “If only we went to the same school…”

: “…Yes. I’d like that. …Sun is about to set. We should start heading back…”

: “Yes.”

: “Yo, you’re finally here. Let’s go make this vacation one to remember!”

: “Will this really work?”

: Joker realizes this is going to be another one of those cutscenes and immediately checks out.

: “I don’t think that’s what he meant…”

: “All right, we wanna go after solo girls that look bored, got it? Let’s roll!”

: Joker: “Hi, sorry, this is one of those dumbass cutscenes where Ryuji tries to hit on random women on the beach. Just slowly turn around and walk away and everything should be fine.”

: “Wait a sec, you smell somethin’ good?”

: “It’s coming from that food stand.”

: “Yo, Yusuke.”

: “Ah, it’s you.”

: “Hello.”

: “Hrm.”

: Yusuke knows that Mishima sucks.

: “That stuff good? Shrimp?”

: “Even in Hawaii, it’s the same ol’ Yusuke.”

: This answer is obviously non-canon, as we know that Yusuke cannot in fact be horny.

: “Heh, that’s an understatement.”

: “They’re incredible…!”

: “C’mon, we’ll rock paper scissors for 'em if this goes well.”

: Both Royal (specifically, Royal’s extra content) and Strikers kind of try to set up Yusuke with Futaba and it just doesn’t work. There is no dimension where Yusuke is not gay.

: “What a weird accent… Anyways, the four of us got some time on our hands, and-”

: “You’re including me in this!?”

: “Well, if you ladies aren’t doin’ anything, how 'bout we go somewhere more fun?”

: “For real!? Oh, well y’know, we-”

: “Ryuji!”

: “Uhhh…”

: “They brushed us away without a second thought…”

: I hate that of all the scenes, THIS had to be the one with unique dialog.

: “Oooh! I never thought of that!”

: “That’s not happening.”

: “This is absurd…”

: “Man… shit went south real fast…”

: There’s two explanations to this cutscene - either Yusuke ordered more shrimp, or he was carrying that plate of shrimp around the entire time, and I’m not sure I like either.

: “…Let’s just head back.”

: “Yeah, I’m beat…”

: This route does not give you a gift, nor does Joker get shrimp.

: “Being a chaperone is more difficult than I expected. I’ve had a lot of meetings… I honestly wanted to contact you earlier, but this is the first free moment I’ve had.”

: “That sounds lovely. All right then… let’s take a walk.”

: “Garlic shrimp? I’ve heard that’s a famous Hawaiian dish. Are you… adventurous when it comes to food?”

: Joker: “I mean, usually I just like reaching my hand into a bag of flour and eating it raw. I also enjoy blocks of raw tofu. What I’m saying is that you’re boring.”

: “Is that so…? I usually go for the standard fare, but this is just shrimp and garlic… so I should be fine. Well, let’s give it a try…”

: “Ah. Yes, we are.”

: “How do you know about them?”

: “Seems like we’re even making headlines abroad.”

: “O-of course, I’ll do just that.”

: “That’s amazing…”

: “Oh, it’s already so late. My sister would be upset if she saw me laid back like this. To tell you the truth, I wasn’t particularly eager to go on this trip. But if it’s like this… I think I’d like to come again.”

: “You know I’m graduating this year… um… I’d like you to have this.”

: “It’s not the best souvenir… but it will remind you of the memories we made today.”

: Joker later tells everyone at school that he dated a human-sized baked potato in Hawaii.

: “Thank goodness. Well, we should probably return before it gets dark.”

: And that’s all of them. The Tiki Keychain is probably the best gift for the mid-game because it grants an ability called Divine Grace that increases all healing done in combat by 50%. I believe this stacks with the Persona trait that increases healing.

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 61

: “I never thought I would have the chance to go on the one this year as well…”

: “It barely even felt like I was outta the country though.”

: “Even Yusuke showed up.”

: “I’m simply glad the storm didn’t make its way over here…”

: “It may not have been the most exciting trip, but we still had a good time.”

: “Honestly though, I’m thankful we didn’t have to deal with the storm. They truly are dreadful…”

: “So, what’d you end up doin’ yesterday? You keepin’ secrets from me? That’s against the bro code!”

: “Dude, for real!? …Actually, don’t say anything. Last thing I need is your secret lover comin’ after me with an axe.”

: “It felt like this trip went by in a flash. I’m not sure if I want to go home or stay here longer at this point…”

: “Hey, why don’t we shop for souvenirs together before it’s time to go?”

: “Ooh, count me in!”

: “Allow me to join you as well… although I have no funds for souvenirs.”

: “The traditional souvenir from Hawaii is usually chocolate… oh, but Morgana can’t eat chocolate. Well, he tells us that he’s not a cat, sooo maybe it’s fine?”

: “If we’re gonna get 'em souvenirs, we gotta pick stuff they’ll really wig out over.”

: “Why don’t we split up and look around, then?”

: Butter coffee is an actual thing done by various low-carb diet programs (shit like Atkins that’s half jangly key man bullshit) where you replace the cream or sugar in your coffee with butter to reduce carb intake.

: “There’s acai powder over here.”

: “Doesn’t it feel like you could just spend forever at one of these places?”

: “I know what you mean.”

: “Ooh, well said. In that case… let’s find somethin’ we wouldn’t buy ourselves, but we’d be happy to get as a gift.”

: “I mean, this is Futaba and Morgana we’re talkin’ about. Their standards for happiness are way too high. Yusuke, you find somethin’?”

: “Uhh… wh-why?”

: “Well, Futaba loves instant yakisoba. It brilliantly meet the requirements of an item I wouldn’t buy for myself, but would please me to receive.”

: “But can’tcha just buy one’a those in Japan? Aw, crap! We’re almost outta time!”

: “Okay, Yusuke and I will find Futaba’s souvenir and we’ll leave Morgana’s to you.”

: Joker just puts in a phone call to Sonic and gets the number of that hostess club that caters to animals that are thirsty for human women.

: Someone made a joke about the writers finding a reason for every single confidant to be here, and they kinda did.

: “Ahaha, that’s a much more appropriate greeting. Aloha!”

: “Huh?”

: “Who’s that?”

: “Find anything suitable?”

: “Hmm? That girl…”

: “Ah… sorry to be a bother! I’m Yoshizawa, a first-year. It’s nice meeting you all.”

: “…Oh! You’re that gymnast!”

: “The last meet was only a short while ago, though - you’re already training for the next one? You seem to be making quite the effort.”

: “Well, I absolutely have to get the results I’m looking for at the next competition. The team’s been training with a famous coach who lives here on the island.”

: “She’s working us especially hard… we end up in tears almost every day.”

: “Your dedication to training even when overseas is admirable. We should all learn from your example.”

: “Yup!”

: “Good luck at the next meet - we’re all rooting for you!”

: “Thank you! Your kind words may be what keeps me from crying today.”

: "Hey, uh… it’s fine if you do cry, though. You know what they say: ‘what doesn’t thrill ya makes ya stronger.’ "

: I never took Ryuji for a Kelly Clarkson fan.

: “…Agh! I almost forgot we’re outta time here. Ah, welp, I’m gonna go pay for my stuff.”

: “Ooh, I oughta do that too. See you later, Yoshizawa-san!”

: “Yes, it was nice meeting you all!”

: “Mmhm, I think so too. Well, I know I’m going to win for sure this time. I’ll prove to everyone what I’m made of.”

: So what you’re saying is that you don’t care what they’re thinking, because what you have in your two hands is enough to set you free? That you can fight the feeling to resist it all the time, but when it’s just too much to take you sneak up from behind? That they’re trying to reach inside of you and steal your energy?

: “I bought it earlier today at this branch of a Japanese shrine here in Hawaii. I always used to buy some kind of charm before a big competition.”

: Wikipedia tells me that there are exactly eight Shinto shrines in Hawaii - four in Honolulu, one in Hilo, one in Maalaea, one in Wailuku and one in Waipahu.

: Incidentally, up until recently there was only one Shinto shrine in the entire mainland United States… run by a white guy in Washington state and not affiliated with any actual shrine.

: Since then, exactly one more has been constructed: the Shusse Inari Shrine in LA, which is a branch of a shrine by the same name in Japan.

: Basically what I’m saying here is that unless Kasumi went island-hopping, there’s no chance she ran into a Shinto shrine in Waikiki.

: “My sister was even more stringent with her own superstitions. The thing is… I forgot to pick one up before the last meet. I’ll be fine now, though. I just know it…”

: “I should probably get going. I almost forgot that I still need to pick up souvenirs for my family. Sorry for keeping you so long.”

: You know, there’s something kinda off about the principal - I mean in his design. His head almost seems like it’s on the wrong body - you’d expect him to look like the Duke from Resident Evil 8 with a head that big.

: It’s funny how Capcom got a fat character right in a game that has no real plot, but Hashino, a writer for a JRPG series almost ENTIRELY driven by its plot, can’t.

: What I’m saying is we need Persona 6 made by the Resident Evil team. It’d probably be a better action game than whatever the fuck Strikers is.

: Aww shit, the shrooms just kicked in.

: I think earlier I mentioned that when Futaba’s mother had a shutdown it should’ve been really fucking obvious. This is why.

: Uh-oh, here comes the Isekai Truck.

: I’m just picturing Futaba with her mother going “Okay, her eyes are rolled back into her head and she’s drooling black shit, that’s perfectly normal.”

: And now I’m wondering what the point of the “Make it look like a heart attack” was.

: “You get tanned a bit?”

: “How was Hawaii?”

: “You left the country and it was just ‘normal’?”

: “While you guys were off having fun, things here have gotten a bit more complicated.”

: Nah, masks haven’t really been hot since the vaccines hit - that’s more a 2020 thing.

: “I didn’t know they sold that kind of stuff.”

: “Should we try too? I mean, selling phantom thief merchandise.”

: “I don’t think we need to worry about that. They’ll get caught the second they try to sue. Not like I’d actually wanna sell their stuff anyway.”

: If I was that one guy who does cocktails based on game stuff I’d probably do one for P5, but you know what, let me try anyway.

: First, you take vodka. This represents Persona 2. Then you dump a capful of the vodka into a gallon of lemonade. This represents this game defanging fucking everything to the point that nothing means anything anymore and having characters that are at best bland copies of the ones Satomi Tadashi wrote.

: Now you might say “Timrod, that’s just a vodka lemonade recipe you stole” and you’re absolutely right, congratulations, you now understand Hashino’s entire modus operandi.

: “Well…”

: “There he is, the anti-thief detective. I hope he slips up and self-destructs.”

: “I can sense some chivalry behind their actions. They are clever to take the silent resentments of the public into account and relieve them. I believe that may be the secret to their popularity.”

: “This doesn’t change the fact that they are dangerous. However… no, I shouldn’t say any more…”

: “Oh no, I won’t be falling for that. I’ve learned my lesson after the previous backfire…”

: “These thieves are more popular than the police or politicians. What’s the world coming to?”

: “Rude!”

: “What’re you so angry about? Hey, I’m gonna go to the bathroom. Take care of any customers that show up.”

: “Seriously? Jet lag? Fine then. Tomorrow.”

: Oh, right! Recently, they announced a Part 6 for Lupin III. Guess what the color scheme on the poster for it is? Black and red.

: What Hashino steals, Monkey Punch steals right back, and I love it. I’m just hoping they don’t go the dumbass “Current Events Lupin” that happened in Part 5.

: “…You look sleepy.”

: “…Oh, that’s right. Maruki did stop by.”

: I mean, it’s kind of obvious he couldn’t be because that plot thread gets resolved in the base game.

: Yusuke is the single most genre-savvy character in this game.

: Now, if you’ve been following along, you might notice that Maruki has had a cutscene with every single party member… except Yusuke. I wonder why that is?

: There’s an optional IM thing right after this one, so let’s go through that.

: I’m surprised Ryuji would even have enough hair to hold a flower, given how short his hair is.

: And this is why Ryuji cannot find a girlfriend.

: I saw this and I’m like “There is no way this shot exists and no one has done Yusuke as Crash Bandicoot”. No one has. Once again, Deviantart is a disappointment.

: Of course, the question remains: if Yusuke is Crash, who gets to be Coco? Futaba’s a strong candidate, but Ann has the hair for it.

: “Never mind, you should probably get some rest. Don’t worry, it’s nothing important.”

: “You just got back from your trip and you’re already studying? How diligent.”

: “I have souvenirs for you.”

: “He suddenly stopped while crossing the road and was struck by a large vehicle. Death by external trauma. They say suicide was a strong possibility…”

: You know what would’ve made this more effective? If they had saved the principal’s death cutscene until now.

: “Principal Kobayakawa commited suicide!?”

: “But would someone about to kill themselves try to go to the police station? He even used a taxi to get there.”

: The other LP asked the question of “Why is the principal even in the shadowy cabal in the first place”, but I think a better question is “If he knew he was part of a shadowy cabal that can kill people remotely, why would he not have written something down?”

: “Do you mean… this might be another incident?”

: “Even if he had a sudden shift in his state of mind… it’s still unnatural. I can only suspect that he had a ‘change of heart’.”

: Oh boy, this scene. Makoto’s being THE SMART GIRL again.

: This should’ve been a dead giveaway the way Akechi’s “pancakes” line was.

: “W-Well… in prior cases, the changes of heart seemed to be done to make people confess their crimes. It’s hard to explain, but this incident seems contradictory to their usual modus operandi…”

: I’m surprised she didn’t stick an “our” in there by accident.

: “Did Principal Kobayakawa seem any different to you lately?”

: “I don’t really know. He rarely contacted the students, after all…”

: “I see… could something have happened during the school trip? Ah, you’re studying. I’m sorry to bother you.”

: And yet somehow, Sae has no suspicions about Makoto until we fucking tell her outright that Makoto was with John Persona.

: yawn “I’m so sleepy. You over your jet lag?”

: “For real? That was quick… oh yeah! Never mind that. Did you know about this? The Phantom Thieves are popular now! I was surprised when we got back to Japan.”

: “People’re actually payin’ attention to who we’re gonna target next. Ain’t that amazin’? I’m gettin’ really psyched. This is where we work hard!”

: “Let’s do something big again and surprise the world!”

: “Oh, mornin’. You’re back today too, huh?”

: “Yes! It’s good to see you both. Um, may I join you two on the way to school? I want to talk a bit more about the trip - and I want to hear all of your stories from Hawaii!”

: “You got it! Should I start with all the heroic stuff me and this dude did for the people in Hawaii?”

: You’re in the wrong timeline, Ryuji. This is the More Like Yusu-Gay timeline, not the one where you hit on every single woman in Waikiki.

: “Hell no. We didn’t do jack shit.”

: “Are people gonna blame us for this too?”

: The broken film reel effect where the date rapidly advances is getting slower. At the beginning, it was skipping several months at a time.

: I don’t remember if they made it so that when you get past Okumura’s palace the date stops at the day the entire Sae/Joker conversation takes place or not.

: “No matter how I think about it, that would’ve been impossible unless Makoto was helping you… but… she would never do anything so foolish…”

: “And is it true that you were completely uninvolved with the Kobayakawa case?”

: “What does this mean…? But I suppose targeting someone at Shujin again and actually taking their life would be nonsensical.”

: Come to think of it, wouldn’t this entire plan have been broken if the principal had just wrote something down? The first thing the police would do is search his office. How would they know he wouldn’t do it?

: “I have no reason to believe everything you’ve said. …However, it seems you aren’t the type of person who would lie just to protect themselves.”

: “I will acknowledge what I must. It’s more efficient that way.”

: “…In any case, let’s move on to the topic at hand. If you saw my investigation data, you would’ve had the same suspicions I did about Okumura.”

: “And if you looked into his Palace, you should’ve seen the answer to those suspicions. Tell me. What did the Phantom Thieve do to Okumura? What did you learn from him?”

: “Why did it turn out as it did? I need you to tell me everything.”

: You can probably guess what’s going to happen, but oh boy you haven’t seen how bad Okumura’s palace is. It’s supposedly godawful even after the overhaul it got in Royal.

: “People are already talking about it online.”

: “Nobody’s saying it’s 'cause of the Phantom Thieves… so far.”

: “People think he did it because that tabloid exposed how he was covering up Kamoshida’s abuses.”

: “Could it be that… we’re responsible for Principal Kobayakawa’s suicide?”

: “Whaddya mean?”

: “If we hadn’t changed Kamoshida’s heart, maybe this never would’ve happened…”

: “But then Kamoshida woulda kept doing what he did if we didn’t go and take him down.”

: "The comments I’ve seen are similar as well. ‘Only the Phantom Thieves are on our side!’ ‘I wish the Phantom Thieve would take down the police and the politicians of this country!’ "

: “It’s not just the news. There’s even Phantom Thieves merchandise now… I never expected we’d end up as such a big deal…”

: I mean, you were only in a highly anticipated sequel to one of the best JRPGs of all time that was completely botched because of Hashino.

: “It seems like the public would rather believe in us than in the adults. People are trying to get the Phantom Thieves to solve societal problems, not just personal ones.”

: “I mean, the principal was coverin’ up stuff, right? I guess… he got what was comin’ to him.”

: “That’s…”

: Makoto’s been surprisingly quiet this cutscene, and I think it’s because she just used all her SP (Smart Points) on that last cutscene with Sae.

: “Whoa, guys, let’s get back on topic. Weren’t we going to discuss the data we obtained from Niijima?”

: “You tell them, Inari…”

: “Why me? First, Prosecutor Niijima has been looking into the continued cases of people suddenly collapsing. It seems she is searching for a common thread to tie them all together.”

: “Some parts seem to be speculation, but she has cited a beneficiary of the majority of these incidents.”

: “Okumura? I feel like I’ve heard that name somewhere…”

: “From Big Bang Burger.”

: “Big Bang Burger!? For real!?”

: “You know, they only got famous sometime in the past few years. They even had a branch in Hawaii.”

: You… do realize that you’re saying this to a room full of people who were there - except Futaba, but she had the magic phone hack.

: “It says here they benefited both from scandals and the resignations of their competitors’ executives.”

: “That would seem to be the case.”

: “This is too suspicious though. Only one CEO is profiting from these seemingly accidental incidents. I think it’s natural to suspect he’s intentionally causing them.”

: “I get that, but still…”

: “That settles it then! He’s totally our next target!”

: “That’s right. Okumura is at the top of the rankings, after all.”

: “Hold on. That doesn’t necessarily mean he’s evil. If we jump into this too carelessly… beyond that, this Phantom Thieves fad is… unsettling.”

: “Yeah… the excitement levels don’t feel normal. We might want to let things calm down a bit first…”

: “You too, Ann!? You’re just gonna go against what people want!?”

: “Huh? No, but…”

: “For real…?”

: “Even you, Ryuji! You just back down the second someone disagrees with you!”

: “What?”

: Wait, what? He was all for it until he realized Ann and Yusuke wanted more time due to whole dumbass Chronicle thing they have going on.

: “I guess all you’ve been talking about is using the Phantom Thieves name to pick up girls anyway. Being hyped up because of the popularity is fine, but getting conceited over it is unacceptable.”

: “Hey, aren’t you actin’ for your own benefit here too?”

: “My appearance might have changed, but I’m still an admirable human! At the very least, I’m more admirable than some carnal blond monkey!”

: “You little…!”

: “Fine. I can take on some small-time target like Okumura on my own. Sorry, but it looks like I’ll be getting the credit for solving the mental shutdown mystery.”

: Is it both of you? Because I think it is.

: “All right then! Bring it on!”

: “Ryuji, stop!”

: “Morgana, wait!”

: “…See you.”

: “I bet he’s back in no time… dammit!”

: “All right. I’ve managed by myself before, and I can do it again now. I just need to take down Okumura before those guys do!”

: I mean, if by "managed by yourself’ you mean you got thrown in a cell in Kamoshida’s palace, then…

: “The public believes in the justice of the Phantom Thieves. They have no interest in that principal.”

: I don’t know if that was meant to be a pun or not.

: “I’m experiencing equal levels of frustration. My comments on TV turned everyone against me. Then again, I won’t allow mere criticism to break my spirit so easily.”

: “My suspicion after the hacker’s case last month is now conviction, thanks to the principal’s death. The mental shutdown cases and the psychotic breakdowns are surely the Phantom Thieves’ doing.”

: “I remember the data you showed me about Okumura Foods. Is that the basis for these beliefs?”

: “There have been frequent occurrences of mental shutdowns surrounding Okumura recently. If only there was a clear connection between him and the Phantom Thieves…”

: “Well, it would be problematic if there wasn’t one.”

: “So you’re jumping the gun here. You really told a man you would terminate his parental authority based purely on your speculation?”

: “I’m surprised you would say such a thing to the owner of a cafe you frequent…”

: “It’s all for the sake of the case.”

: “You may have the backing of the SIU’s director… but you’ve been far too aggressive, Sae-san. You’re trespassing into police territory. Don’t say nobody warned you if it becomes an issue later.”

: “We first need to know what methods the Phantom Thieves are using. The police can’t make a move unless that becomes apparent, after all.”

: “The opponent can’t be caught by following the rules. What need is there to stick to formalities?”

: It really did not take him long to get fucking owned, did it?

: It’s almost like this game’s trying to have a message but forgets the whole “Bonds between people are the real power” thing from Persona 4.

: Well, now we know that Haru has access to the Metaverse. Next time, we’ll see visit Okumura’s Palace, see Haru’s Phantom Thief form, and fail to simply shoot Morgana. We’re still on cutscenes until 09/18.

: Please also go vote in the poll, because I’m cutting it off three updates from now, on the update that contains the Mementos visit on 09/19. As it stands, the game will be migrated to the PS5 for the final few dungeons and I will be making my gamebreaker.

: You know though, I wonder where the principal got isekai’d to.

: “Hold on. You’re telling me that I could simply… kill the king… and then become king myself? Is this true?”

: “Oh, absolutely. Of course, you don’t want to just run in and stab him - that’s not going to work. Do you have a sniper rifle?”

: “What’s a sniper rifle? Is that like a pistol?”

: “Okay, the sniper rifle’s a no-go. What about… poison? You’ve got that, right? Just dump some in his food and be as far away as possible when he eats it.”

: “You can… put poison in food? Why would you do that?”

: “To kill the king.”

: “Right. I never thought about this before, but now that I’m aware I can kill the king, I’m going to do it. What about his son, though?”

: “Oh my, that was an unfortunate ox cart accident. Oh well, I can figure out the rest myself. I’m sure the guards will be able to catch a sheltered ten year old…”

[drcakey]

Principle Fatguy shoulda known better than to go for a walk when the Madoka Magica lighting is out. You know something bad’s going to happen to you when the scene is lit like a Madoka scene.

About the principal not writing anything down, I think that speaks to how disjointed the writing in P5 is. Typically in a thriller or the like, when there’s a character who works for the evil organization but who they want to get rid of, because he’s Having Second Thoughts or Has Outlived His Usefulness, that character will in their death scene be sitting down to write a confession or meeting with a lawyer or something. But then the lawyer comes into the room with a gun, or the guy grabs his chest because his heart medication had been replaced with poison, or a ninja stabs him in the back and then blows up his computer or something. Whereas in P5 he’s just walking and then gets hit with a magic heart attack for…no real reason.

As I was typing this I did realize it was mentioned he died in front of the police station, so maybe he was going there to reveal his involvement with the bad guys? But if he was, that’s not information that needed to be concealed from the audience.

@Timrod

: It’s almost like this game’s trying to have a message but forgets the whole “Bonds between people are the real power” thing from Persona 4.

The Phantom Thieves find Morgana’s broken, bleeding body. He slowly breathes his last words, “Joker…I understand…the truth…now. In a game about…exploiting elemental weaknesses…you can’t win…if you can only cast…one…element. There is…another…sky…”

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 62

: Time for another update that’s nothing but cutscenes.

: Joker: “Listen. For the first time in six months, I was able to sleep without hearing him being horny for Ann. My room was quiet and peaceful. I don’t think I want him back.”

: “I see… I just kinda expected he’d come home when he got hungry… oh, maybe he went to someone else’s place. Let’s ask.”

: I somehow doubt that, given that it seems like everyone else needs to take the train to get here.

: You know what would’ve been a good scene? A scene showing Joker sneaking Morgana people food at night because Morgana refuses to eat cat food.

: “Aren’t they all being way too cold about this? Oh well. Have a good day…”

: " ‘The Okumura Way’… and it was even signed! With his logical management skills, he revived his company that was on the verge of bankruptcy. He then started Big Bang Burger, a bold and creative venue."

: Dipshit business guy that opens a burger joint because his business fails isn’t exactly what I’d call bold or creative.

: “Okumura’s words are a philosophy on life itself! How could she sell that to a secondhand shop? But, in times like these, getting one’s mind to switch gears is key. Wouldn’t you agree, Kurusu-kun?”

: If this was one of the mainline SMT games, Inui would lead a cult dedicated to the worship of Jeff Bezos.

: “A secondhand shop is mostly meant for sale of goods and supporting charitable causes, but… what does a pawn shop offer that a secondhand shop doesn’t?”

: Ooh! I know this one! Secondhand shops don’t have reality TV shows made about them where where one of the stars gets arrested for having a house full of guns and meth and as a result the network is forced to cancel the show.

: “Correct. Thrift stores are comparatively less focused on money management… but larger businesses could donate unused stock to them, and use them as a tax write-off that way.”

: I’m not sure how popular that is in the US, because from what I know, most places that have excess inventory will try to sell them first - usually to “liquidators” who then sell the product to discount stores.

: “It takes incredible business acumen to figure out how to be both profitable and charitable at once.”

: The thing is though, if you have enough excess inventory that you have to consider donating it for tax purposes, that’s usually a sign that your business has management issues.

: “I just remembered; there are rumors President Okumura may be getting into politics. It is true that the current administration is incompetent in a number of ways…”

: “I would love to have a charismatic man like him leading the country.”

: Oh god dammit, not Daleks. I’ve watched Star Trek before, but I draw the line at Dr. Who.

: I don’t remember if the game ever explains why Haru already has a Persona or not.

: “I’m sure he’ll come back when he gets hungry.”

: I think this is supposed to be a reference to how when you exit a dungeon and get the “Here’s what you did while you were in there” screen, it starts with Joker breaking through some glass.

: “Huh… wonder if someone’s got a grudge against that guy…”

: I kinda fudged this a little bit - Futaba sends the first line right after the line about the windows being broken, but I missed it.

: Clearly, without Morgana complaining at us to get to bed, we can go wherever we want and do whatever we want to do.

: So, here’s what I hate about this scene, and to explain that I’m going to need to spoil Persona 4. At one point in Persona 4, Nanako gets kidnapped and winds up in the hospital.

: This is the cut-off for her S-Link as well as Dojima’s - except in Golden, where I believe they give you a few extra days after that arc ends.

: During that time, neither Dojima nor Nanako are home, and the usual theme that plays when you’re at Dojima’s house changes. Specifically, it changes to this.

: Persona 4 was a game in which Shoji Meguro had exactly zero bad ideas. I don’t know what the fuck happened with 5 - it’s still Shoji Meguro and the same people who made the Persona 4 OST.

: This game, which had several times the budget of P4? Nothing. You get the same music as always. This, by the way, is why I haven’t been linking music outside of the major vocal themes, because it all sucks.

: There’s one other instance that I didn’t capture (purely by accident) earlier, when you do the school thing with Inui. Instead of Morgana narrating, Joker will just go “I think I got a little smarter after that question.”

: You might ask why I didn’t wait until after The Endless Cutscene to go to Chihaya first for a reading, and the reason is that we’re maxing out Kindness on… I think the 22nd. It wouldn’t make much of a difference.

: There are also unique lines for every single item in Joker’s room while Morgana is gone. I don’t know why they bothered doing this but did not have Shoji Meguro do an “Alone” version of the music.

: In the base game, it could easily have been because of the Sega buyout and the entire game being shifted several times during development, but they had ZERO FUCKING EXCUSE not to do this in Royal.

: One thing I’m not showing because it’s repetitive - after each thought, Joker goes “I’m worried about Morgana…” and holy shit if they had paired this with music I would probably have loved this scene.

: I don’t know if I’ve showed it off before, but you can sit on the couch in Joker’s room and Morgana will give you his thoughts on what’s happening.

: They clearly don’t own the entire building, given that there’s a directory in front.

: “If anything, getting into the real building is impossible…”

: “Mona seriously went to a Palace based on somewhere like this?”

: “It’s definitely on a different scale than the ones we’ve dealt with previously…”

: “I searched Okumura online. He’s totally up to something. Don’t you think he’s guilty too?”

: “I’m positive I’m right!”

: “We’re here for Mona.”

: “I know, I know. We gotta make sure we squeeze the juice on those mental shutdown things outta him too.”

: This makes it sound like Morgana knows about the shutdowns. He doesn’t.

: Even though it’s obvious that Okumura’s a villain, it would’ve been way better writing to have it be that someone was framing him for all these murders and he was just kind of an asshole to begin with.

: “Huh? The hell?”

: “Ohhh, so that’s why it’s called Big Bang Burger. Big bang is space lingo, y’know.”

: “Um, not necessarily… So the concept behind the store-branch name came from the CEO himself.”

: “Outer space, hm? How exciting…”

: “We better be able to breathe once we get in there.”

: “President Okumura must be on guard, what with everything that’s been in the news.”

: “That bastard! He’s just causin’ more trouble for us!”

: “It’s as though we’re in a film… I wish I had brought my sketchbook.”

: “Mona might be in here somewhere, yeah? C’mon, we gotta get lookin’ for him.”

: Welcome to Okumura’s Palace. In the base game, this dungeon was a fucking nightmare that absolutely no one liked. It was heavily re-tooled for Royal… but we won’t see that for a while.

: The first thing I remember thinking about this dungeon was “Wow, this is just the space station levels of Sonic Adventure 2 in dungeon form”.

: “Hm? What is this?”

: “Let’s see here… looks like a lever for the elevator to me. Aaand it should be working now!”

: “For real? You’re amazin’, Navi.”

: “Mwehehe, that was nothing.”

: “It’s certainly reassuring having you with us. Anyway, let’s try using the elevator.”

: We enter with only 20% security level as opposed to the usual 40%, but it doesn’t show us Okumura’s shadow. He’s a reference I’m going to have to explain, involving a dumbass anime from the 70s.

: “They’re saying something… you must adhere to your shifts… if you don’t like it, you can quit… however, you will not be compensated.”

: “What’re they talkin’ about?”

: “These robots are part of Okumura’s cognition, correct? That means they represent…”

: “This is pure speculation… but this is most likely how the workers of Okumura Foods are viewed by their CEO.”

: Oh my god, is that… is that pattern recognition by Makoto? Soon she’ll grasp the concept of having a personality.

: “So he thinks they’re his robots!?”

: “If they’re treated like this in reality as well… then the company truly is exploiting them.”

: “See!? Okumura IS a piece of shit! Just like I said.”

: “Mona is our main objective here.”

: “He doesn’t seem to be anywhere nearby. Let’s search further in.”

: “What does it mean by that?”

: “This security system might be a bit of a problem…”

: Ryuji trying to shoulder charge a foot-thick steel airlock.

: “Look at it… there’s no way we can force that thing open.”

: “We’ve hit a blockade quite early. Will we have to control the real Okumura’s cognition to pass?”

: “Oh, that means Mona hasn’t been able to proceed any further either. So if he’s here in the Palace, he would have to be somewhere before this door…”

: Haru’s model looks like a bootleg of her anime portrait. This is why her forehead is so huge - it’s because of her hat.

: “Those clothes… could she be…?”

: “A black mask!? Wait, is she the one Madarame and Kaneshiro were talking about!?”

: Haru is basically a carbon copy of Elly personality-wise, so while she has definitely killed before, she is not the black mask.

: “So… she’s the reason for all those people goin’ brain dead!? It was a girl this whole time!?”

: “Are you the one who has been following us!?”

: “Say something, dammit!”

: “Mona!”

: “You’re okay!”

: “Uh, it hasn’t been that long.”

: “If you came for the Treasure, you should just go home with your tail between your legs.”

: Someone could have shot Morgana by now and I don’t know why they haven’t.

: “Actually, we were looking for you.”

: “The Treasure will be taken by me and this…”

: Now, I’ve never really been into Sailor Moon, but I’m pretty sure this is meant to be a Sailor Moon reference. The music changes at this point to reflect how stupid this is.

: “Beauty Thief?”

: “I’ll have you know she’s a Persona-user too!”

: “She really called herself that?”

: “Any tension that was in the air has just gone out the window…”

: “Mona already said that…”

: Haru is another physical/magic hybrid character, but has a way better moveset than Yusuke - she learns Psiodyne and most of the higher-tier gun skills, but no boosts or amps.

: In the base game, she was REALLY good because guns had limited ammo, making her one of the easiest ways to take down gun-weak enemies. Royal nerfs her a bit due to the recharging gun ammo.

: “You are not qualified to be Phantom Thieves! Do you even understand what it means to be a phantom thief? An admirable phantom thief is…”

: “Yeah, tell them!”

: “You! What do you think it means!?”

: I mean, given that this game is heavily based on Lupin III and Lupin has outright stated that he lives for the thrill of stealing shit…

: “I see! Enough with the idle chitchat!”

: “You started it…”

: “Mona, who the hell is she?”

: “Me?”

: “Learn to take a hint!”

: “Huh?”

: “What?”

: “What was it again?”

: “You came all the way out here just to say that?”

: “I dunno… it kinda feels like she ain’t dangerous at all.”

: “We don’t have time to chat!”

: It’s fine, I’m sure Haru and Morgana can take on three daleks and some floating orbs.

: “Behind you!”

: “Here they come!”

: “Huh? Huh!?”

: How did they get this far in and not fight anything? Is Haru like that one photographer girl in Persona 1 who got through half of Thanatos Tower by herself?

: “Snap out of it! We need to go!”

: Oh, come on! We could fucking take them! One of them’s probably a Decarabia! They barely even count as enemies!

: “Bet you’re tired…”

: “That was quite rough… I haven’t felt exhaustion like this since I first awakened to my Persona.”

: “What’ve you been looking at all this time?”

: “Sorry. I just didn’t wanna stand around and wait. The burglary at Okumura Foods is circulating the news again.”

: “Uuugh! Dammit! Why’d they keep comin’ after only me!? It’s all 'cause little miss Beauty Thief opened that door!”

: Atlus could’ve made that part playable to, I dunno, break up the monotony of roughly three hours of nothing but cutscene, but that would’ve required effort… and we all know what Hashino’s running catchphrase is about things that require effort.

: “That door most likely had a biometric-authentication lock, so how’d she get it open?”

: Oh, that’s because Haru’s last name is Okumura.

: “I wonder who that girl could be.”

: “We were told that she’s a Persona-user, correct? Do you believe it’s true?”

: “Well, she did look like one…”

: “Did Mona betray us?”

: “No…”

: “I don’t think he’s betrayed us. If he had, it’d make more sense for him to directly threaten us, such as exposing our identities.”

: How the fuck would he even do that? He’s a cat who can only talk to a very small number of people.

: “Either way, how the hell’s Morgana related to that Beauty Thief?”

: “Considering her tone and physique, she looked about our age.”

: I mean, considering she goes to the same school you do, is in the same year you are… oh, and she was in that scene at the fireworks festival.

: “For real? Where at!?”

: “At school… I think.”

: “What, what!? But, now that you mention it… I feel like I’ve seen her too… is she a student of Shujin?”

: Ryuji forgetting that he saw her twice not even a week ago.

: “I just feel like that’s the case. She did have a mask on, after all. The registry in the student council room has photos of every student. Let’s check them all tomorrow.”

: “If we can figure out the identity of the Beauty Thief, that may help us regain contact with Morgana.”

: “Futaba and I should further probe into Okumura Foods then. It’d be best if we investigate how sudden mental shutdowns are connected to them.”

: Before we go to sleep, all of the items in Joker’s room have different lines from last night.

: Next time, more cutscenes… and then I transfer the save to the PS5 and start building my gamebreaker.

[Timrod]

Summary

To understand Okumura’s palace, you have to be familiar with an anime called Space Battleship Yamato. Yamato was one of the first TV anime - the first part began airing in October 1974 and ended in March of 1975… so this is a few years after the first Lupin III series but a few years before the more famous Lupin III Red Jacket.

It went on to spawn three TV series which aired throughout the 1980s (the third one was cancelled partway through) and several movies before going into copyright hell for about twenty years. It was rebooted in 2011 as Space Battleship Yamato 2199, with the second part rebooted as Space Battleship Yamato 2202. I’ve seen about half of 2199 and half of 2202 and I can tell you that both suck.

While it’s relatively unknown in the west, Yamato is kind of a cultural icon in Japan - maybe not to the extent of Akira or Evangelion, but pretty close. It’s kind of ironic, because Yamato was one of the first anime series to receive a localization.

The less we talk about Star Blazers, the better.

Anyway, at its core, Yamato is basically about World War II in space. The background plot involves Earth being at war with an alien planet called Gamilas, which has a vastly superior space fleet and regularly sends space nukes to Earth, which have reduced the planet to an irradiated wasteland.

Both the original anime and the remake open with the main character finding a crashed spaceship on Mars with a dead lady inside. The dead lady has a magic alien data thing telling Earth (which is basically Space Japan) to send a ship to a planet in the Large Magellanic Cloud called Iscandar, where they can pick up a device that can reverse the effects of the space nukes.

In response, Earth’s remaining government excavates the remains of the Yamato, an Imperial Japanese battleship that was built to fight the US Navy and their superior numbers. In 1974, it was assumed that the Yamato’s wreck (it was sunk defending Okinawa) was intact, but in 2015 they found out it actually blew the fuck up because an American bomb hit the munitions bay. The Yamato is rebuilt, outfitted with a super engine and a super gun that can kill anything (when the plot demands) and sent off to find Iscandar.

This is where the remake starts splitting off, and why the remake sucks. In the original anime, Gamilas is basically Space Germany and is run by a race of blue-skinned Space Nazis. They have German names, speak a fictional language which sounds a lot like German, act exactly like Nazis, and their leader is named Dessler. To cement this, his name is changed to “Abelt Dessler” in the remake.

This is why the remake sucks: at the start, they try to change it so that Gamilas is Space America (complete with imagery of a Gamilian bomber dropping two nukes on Earth and the reveal that the war started because Earth attacked a Gamilian fleet unprovoked) but then immediately backpedal on that because otherwise they might be making a political statement about how a sizeable portion of the US at that time probably would’ve aligned politically with the Nazis.

Oh, right. Dessler. We need to talk about him, because he’s who Okumura is based off.

I’m going to reveal this a bit early, but here’s what Okumura looks like and what his shadow looks like.

The other LP didn’t understand this, and claimed that Okumura was poorly written - but didn’t understand that he’s poorly written because he’s a wholesale ripoff of Dessler with slightly different hair. A lot of people who played the base game thought Okumura’s shadow was supposed to be a Darth Vader reference, but no.

Oh, right. The other reason both the original show and the remake kinda suck is that there’s a second series where the Space Nazis have allied with Space Japan against an entity a lot of people assume is supposed to be Space America. You can kind of see why that might be a bit of a problem (and also why they try to hamfist Gamilas into being Space America in the remake).

That’s about all you need to know about this garbage anime. In the next actual update, more cutscene and then Mementos.

[SpammyV]

At least the theme song slaps. I haven’t found the upper limit on Isao Sasaki I can listen to.

So is it just every teenager with a portrait that’s got a Persona or does everyone with a portrait secretly have a Persona? Are we going to run into Sae wearing a goofy mask in a palace and she still doesn’t recognize Makoto (because of the mask, obviously).

[drcakey]

I appreciate that this chapter of the game has a slightly different structure than previous ones. Though I did realize that this is partly illusory, because the Hawaii trip is secretly not an intermission but part of the long lead-up to entering the dungeon every chapter has.

[Timrod]

: People haven’t been voting in the poll, so I figured I’d give you all an incentive to do so by allowing you to witness the birth of my gamebreaker. This update will also cover the DLC that exists for Royal.

: P5R has $60 worth of DLC. Most of it is useless - there’s a $15 DLC that simply adds the free costumes to Kasumi. No thanks.

: We get a shit-ton of DLC notifications on load.

: The costumes are handled as items, so you can mix and match if you want. Honestly, the costume packs are super fucking lazy, as we’re about to see.

: This is the Persona 4 one. Morgana gets a lazy recolor while everyone else gets the generic NPC female uniform or the generic NPC male uniform. Ryuji’s is the laziest - they just retexure his existing outfit from the start of the game.

: The Persona 2 ones are equally lazy, with Yusuke not getting Jun’s outfit and Ryuji not getting Eikichi’s. Also, all of the female characters are Lisa for some reason.

: In Royal, Network Fusion (also called Public Execution) unlocks earlier than it did in the base game. It’s time to make my gamebreaker.

: Unfortunately, you can only use this once per in-game day - but the bonus skills have a chance to be added in any network fusion you do. I uploaded our Anzu and Lilim.

: The DLC Personas are available for free from the compendium the first time you summon them. There’s a normal version and a higher-leveled recolored “Picaro” version.

: So, how broken is Network Fusion?

: VERY BROKEN. That’s a Level 99 Yoshitsune right there - one of the best (if not THE best) Personas in the base game.

: I fuse some garbage with a Level 83 Raoul. Raoul is a paid DLC Persona. LOOK AT THIS SHIT.

: Spell Master is a skill exclusive to very high level Personas. This is going on every Persona I make from now on… provided you don’t stop me.

: We also have Psycho Force (Tier 4 single-target Psychic spell) AND Psy Amp. We could EASILY get Psy Boost via alarm abuse and then fuse everything onto something with actual stats.

: Meanwhile, I fused some trash and stuck a Megido card in to get Megidola. I am now one alarm away from Megidolaon, and then by the time we do Okumura’s dungeon I can and will get Almighty Amp.

: You can still stop this. There is still time. Vote!

[drcakey]

Since SMT If has never been localized, downloading the DLC for it should come with a link to the LP of If on the archives.

[SpammyV]

How much would YOU pay just to have one party member get the same DLC costumes as everyone else? Forty dollars? Thirty dollars?! NO my friend, it can all be YOURS for the LOW, LOW PRICE of FORTEEN UNITED STATES DOLLARS AND NINETY NINE UNITED STATES CENTS!

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 63

: Two more days of cutscene before we get to do anything.

: Oh, right. This update will contain a depiction of what’s basically spousal abuse, so if you’re not comfortable with that, feel free to skip this update.

: I mean, calling yourself Beauty Thief would be perfectly normal if you’re in a Mad Max clone where instead of gasoline and water people fight over expensive cosmetics.

: Gang of teenage girls with guns driving post-apocalyptic motorcycles trying to raid a convoy carrying limited-edition makeup.

: By the way, the other LP complained about the whole “Beauty Thief” thing not making sense and I don’t think they realized it’s not supposed to make sense. She’s doing it because she wants to be a magical girl.

: “Man, this girl’s hot! Aww, but she’s younger than me.”

: “Ryuji!”

: “No way! She’s the same age as me!? She looks like my dad’s friend…”

: “Get back to work.”

: “Why don’t we take a break? It’s no surprise our concentration is waning.”

: “They’re all starting to look the same to me…”

: “Think we can really find her?”

: “Someone sure is confident.”

: I wonder if Haru has at any point considered selling advertising space on her massive forehead.

: “Wasn’t the Beauty Thief like this too? Especially the fluffy hair.”

: They should’ve had a scene where Haru holds Ann and Makoto up and just goes “Put your bangs in the bag and no one gets hurt.”

: “That’s gotta be her!”

: “It would also explain how she got past the door’s biometric reader… this may be worth looking into.”

: Now, it’s right about here that I’d like to point out an actual plot hole. The party could do something that would allow them to easily bypass that door without needing Haru.

: We’ll see what that is after the next dungeon.

: “By why was she at the Palace?”

: “We could just make her spill the beans herself.”

: “She may have already gone home for the day, so let’s try tomorrow. I’m going to lock up. I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

: “Really? In that case… if you could help me unload this…”

: “You’re a second-year, aren’t you? That makes me just a tad older. Um… have we met somewhere before?”

: “The only daughter of Kunikazu Okumura, CEO of Okumura Foods. Care to explain why you were inside your father’s Palace?”

: “Ahh… so that’s where we met. Wow, you figured it out in just a day. You looked really good in that biker gang outfit!”

: She’s being sincere here, but I like to think she’s mocking Makoto. “Congratulations, you found me and my gigantic forehead. You sure are THE SMART GIRL.”

: “Let’s… not talk about that… so why did you become a phantom thief?”

: “Things have grown quite serious lately… that’s why I want to make amends, even though it may only be for my own satisfaction. But I wonder if this is just running from the problem…”

: “Where did you meet Morgana?”

: “It was pure coincidence. I found a lonely-looking cat in front of our office building.”

: “And that was Morgana?”

: No, it was Raidou Kuzunoha’s talking cat, which I just now found out about. Raidou’s cat is also black, though it’s less of a dipshit than Morgana is because Hashino is an unoriginal fuck.

: And before you ask, Hashino had nothing to do with the Raidou games. He was a “planner” on Devil Summoner and Soul Hackers, but not on the Raidou games - at least according to the wiki.

: “And when I followed him, I ended up in the Metaverse… there’s no way for me to change my father’s company… but if I became a phantom thief, I thought I’d at least be able to change him.”

: “…Isn’t there any way we can work together?”

: “Besides, the Phantom Thieves, who should be helping the weak, are not helping their own teammate.”

: “…”

: “I just want my father to atone for his crimes. And help Mona-chan, who gave me a chance to do just that.”

: “But aren’t our objectives the same? It’d be better if we work-”

: “No, thank you. I will do this with Mona-chan, and him alone.”

: “It seems getting her cooperation won’t be possible. Let’s consult with the others on our next move. We shouldn’t ignore Morgana either.”

: Dessler is upset because the Yamato just Wave Motion Gunned half his fleet around Pluto to death, and his ingenious plan to bounce lasers off satellites to bypass their point defenses didn’t work.

: “…That’s right. Make it a priority. I finally get a foothold into politics and this happens. Phantom Thieves? Hmph!”

: “Did the media ask you anything?”

: “No, not at all. Um, what’s this about the Phantom Thieves?”

: “It’s jealousy of the successful. Nothing but the barks of the masses who lack the resolve to sacrifice what’s needed for their well-being.”

: “Both the young and the old are overjoyed with some foolish idols. This country has no future.”

: His dialog sounds fucking stupid until you realize who he’s supposed to be. Trust me when I say Yamato is FULL of scenes like this. Dessler has a wine glass in his hand in about half the scenes he’s in, even when it makes no sense for him to have one. ESPECIALLY if it makes no sense for him to have one.

: “What if they do exist? What if these Phantom Thieves really can steal hearts?”

: “Are you still having doubts about me?”

: “No…”

: “More importantly, I hope things are going well with that young man.”

: “…Yes, father.”

: “Very well then. He may not seem like it, but he’s still the son of an influential politician. Be cordial with him. He’ll eventually become a necessary connection for this company - or rather, for me.”

: “…I understand. I will do the best I can.”

: Before we’re forced into bed, all the items in Joker’s room have ANOTHER set of unique lines. Seriously what the fuck, they had someone write all this shit but couldn’t do a fucking song for it?

: “Come on, you’re young! Hawaii doesn’t even count as going to a foreign country.”

: Try telling Customs and Border Patrol that.

: “It’s full of Japanese tourists. I bet you were able to speak Japanese wherever you went, weren’t you? The shopkeepers will use Japanese to pressure you into buying things as if their life depended on it.”

: “I’m used to it though, so I actually haggle with them in English. Mr. Kurusu! Show me how much you know your English.”

: My cat doesn’t need to meow, he merely steps on my face at 4AM until someone feeds him.

: “Good! In ancient Egypt, it’s said that the tongues of liars and blasphemers were cut out and fed to cats. It’s also possible it came from the pirates’ ‘cat-o-nine-tails’ leaving a prison too stung to talk.”

: “There are actually a lot of other expressions involving cats. ‘A cat has nine lives,’ for instance. That relates to how cats seem capable of surviving all kinds of dangers- - even ones you’d expect to kill them.”

: Here’s a shot of what happens when you answer a question without Morgana being there to narrate. Clearly, the social stats are a thing like Metroid Other M where Joker has to authorize himself to use them.

: “I know already! And why’re you just sayin’ that to me!?”

: “We need to be wary of the Beauty Thief too.”

: “So we’re doing a stakeout here.”

: “We better be ready for the long haul!”

: “Hold that thought.”

: “Do you have business with us?”

: "Aren’t you fulfilling the requests on the Phantom Aficionado Website? Even leaving comments? It’d be best if you didn’t accept them so recklessly.’

: “The police will track you down in no time. If that were to happen, we’d be caught up in it as well.”

: “That’s not what I intended! But… that would be my fault… I’m actually not that great with machines… I’m truly sorry.”

: It’s non-canon, but in P5 Dancing Haru mentions that she does not know how to use a computer… because she’s Sailor Moon.

: “Why’re you apologizing!?”

: “They’re telling us for our sake. We should be thanking them.”

: “Won’t you please put what happened behind us?”

: “So I’m the one you’re here for? You guys need me after all? Is that it?”

: We’re lying, obviously.

: “Really?”

: “Lady Ann…”

: “E-Everyone, shouldn’t you be using code names?”

: Nah, they kinda threw that out the window three dungeons ago.

: “Ryuji didn’t really mean what he said, you know? He wants to apologize…”

: “Well, it’s like… it was my bad too… I mean, I don’t mind if you’re not human or if you’re useless!”

: “What a douche…”

: “Ann’s setup was completely ruined.”

: “Get in, Beauty Thief! If you can’t do this, don’t count on me ever coming back!”

: “Did he even think about how long he made us wait!? Fine, we’ll do this!”

: “Geez! This isn’t what we came here to do!”

: “We need to go after him and talk things through.”

: “Hm… we are facing a car here. Does it not seem somewhat reckless to chase him on foot?”

: I mean, if Death Stranding taught me anything (apart from “Skip every cutscene, they’re all dumb”) it’s that all you have to do is wait for the car to hit a small rock and go QWOPmode.

: “You sure give up easy. There are dead ends all over this floor. We can do this if we manage to corner him in one.”

: This is an entirely scripted sequence, unlike the thing in Futaba’s palace where you had to at least try a little bit.

: “Hmph, how naive. You really think you’ve captured me?”

: It’s hard to get a good shot of, but Morgana attempts to run Joker over… and this is why I hate Morgana.

: People have pointed out that technically it’s Haru doing that, because Morgana isn’t self-driving, but still. He could easily have seen where that was going to go and stopped being a car.

: “Shit, look out!”

: “Sheesh, what would he have done if he ran us over!?”

: “Stop complaining and let’s get after him again!”

: I like that the writers completely forgot that Makoto’s Persona is a motorcycle.

: “Mona! Will you listen!?”

: “Shut up! I’ve got nothing to talk about with you guys!”

: “Ngh, not again…!”

: “There will be no end at this rate…”

: This doesn’t make a whole lot of sense until you realize that Haru is driving, and she’s got about the same level of driving skill that Maya did.

: “Yup. Mona, are you okay!?”

: “You gotta hear us out, Morgana!”

: “There’s nothing I have to talk to you about.”

: “Come on. There’s no need to keep being so stubborn.”

: “I can’t just give in like this! I have my pride to protect!”

: “It seems we’ve fallen for the oldest trick in the book.”

: “Ugh… those two…”

: “It’ll never end at this rate… what do we do now?”

: “I don’t hear the sound of his engine at all… could they have left Mementos?”

: SMART GIRL alert.

: “Dammit! Freakin’ Morgana!”

: “Are you sure that was what you wanted?”

: “…Of course it was!”

: Oh look, it’s Discount Yoshikage Kira.

: “I would never do such a thing!”

: “Ow!”

: “Haru! You little - let go of Haru!”

: Clearly Hashino has trouble remembering which Jojo series was which, because this is a direct reference to Iggy’s death scene in Stardust Crusaders.

: “Dammit… I AM useless…! Someone… anyone… is anybody out there!?”

: He… does realize no one can understand him, right?

: “Was that… Mona’s voice?”

: “Hey, over there! That doesn’t seem right to me!”

: “The hell are you doing to our friend!?”

: He’s thinking “The cat has already been made a bomb by my Killer Queen.”

: “Fian- what? But she’s clearly fighting you!”

: Joker’s like “What are you gonna do, pull some time travel bullshit out of your ass and then get run over by an ambulance?”

: “I’m fine, but Mona-chan…”

: “This is nothing…”

: “Was that person really your fiance?”

: “Whoa, so you’re engaged then!?”

: “That didn’t seem like an ordinary fight though… shouldn’t you talk to your parents about it?”

: “…I think it’d be useless. I’ll just be told to beg for his forgiveness, even if it means groveling on the ground.”

: “…It seems she has her reasons.”

: I mean, Haru only just tried to kill everyone twice with Morgana as a facilitator. Clearly we can instantly forgive all of that. I mean, it worked perfectly in Ni no Kuni 2… apart from the part where Evan fucking dies before his son reaches adulthood, presumably due to being murdered.

: “Of course. We’ll take her to your place, yeah?”

: “…Thanks.”

: This scene would’ve worked a lot better had it not been for the whole attempted murder thing. Why they even put that in is beyond me.

: “Did you get enough rest?”

: “Mona-chan?”

: “To be frank, there’s no assurance that I’ll turn back into a human either… this can’t be called a fair deal. That’s why I think we should split up.”

: “Who said we’re acting as Phantom Thieves for your sake? I’m doing it to expand my own horizons.”

: “No need to tiptoe around the situation. We’re splitting up.”

: “Do you remember what you said to me when I found you collapsed in the Metaverse? That you’re a Phantom Thief. That you’re going to get stronger and have the others acknowledge you.”

: “You love being here, don’t you?”

: “O-of course not…”

: “I was lying to myself too, but when I formed a contract with my Persona… I understood it all. Doing this because my father is doing something horrible… was nothing but a superficial reason.”

: Haru is kind of a plot hole. What the game hasn’t told us (yet) is that she doesn’t actually have a Persona. She’s got the thief outfit for some reason, but no Persona.

: The thing is, they could’ve done something with this. Have it be that when you first meet her, she’s in a different thief outfit she made herself, and then switches later into her real one.

: But of course, Hashino is an unoriginal fuck and could not find someone to steal that off of - other than, I dunno, the myriad of western cape comics that have done just that.

: “The truth is, I-”

: “Don’t want to get married, right?”

: “I thought that since an adult with responsibilities made the decision, it couldn’t be wrong. I was such a fool, tied down by vague notions and stayed quiet as my marriage partner was chosen…”

: “Phew… that’s how I truly feel.”

: “Wh-why’re you looking at me all of a sudden?”

: “Mona-chan, why is it that you always talked about becoming human again?”

: “That’s… at first, I only thought of this team as a temporary dwelling until I regained my memories. But I wasn’t making any progress on finding out what I am or why I was born…”

: “Morgana…”

: “…I wanted a reason of my own - a reason to stay with the Phantom Thieves. I don’t have anyone I want to save or get revenge on. Someone like me has no reason to stay here…”

: “That was refreshingly honest.”

: “You shoulda just said so from the start! Geez!”

: “If you stick with me, there’s no telling what kind of trouble will come up! You better be sure about this!”

: “It’s a little late for all that, don’t you think? Of course we want to stay with you too.”

: “Uhh, so… well… I’m sorry I worried you guys. This is where I belong! My mind’s all set! I’ll make sure to work hard to pay my dues. It’s too late to cancel our deal, got it?”

: “Well, in the end, wouldn’t you say that your encounter with us was destiny?”

: “That’s right… ‘Encounter’…”

: “Hm?”

: “Oh crap! The last train’s comin’ up!”

: I believe the last train runs at midnight in Tokyo, if Game Center CX is at all correct.

: “I must go as well.”

: “Let’s continue this another time.”

: “I…”

: “What’s going on here? You brought over another girl?”

: “That’s not what I meant. Anyway, don’t break her heart, all right?”

: “So, you found our cat, and even took care of it?”

: “Oh, it wasn’t a bother or anything.”

: “I’m the one who took care of you though.”

: “What’s up? You seem happy.”

: “It’s been a while since I’ve had a meal with so many people.”

: “Make sure you go home today before it gets too late, okay? I’m sure your parents are worried.”

: “No, I’ll go home. If my father suspects something, it’ll be more difficult to change his heart, wouldn’t it? I’ll contact you again so - oh right! Can we exchange contact info?”

: “Will you be okay on your own? If you need, I can go with you.”

: “You belong here, don’t you, Mona-chan?”

: She attempted to commit murder with him and won’t even take him home.

: “W-Well, yeah…”

: “…Excuse me?”

: “You won’t be officially registered yet, but isn’t that how things are with young people these days? Go prove your sincerity to him. You can do that, can’t you?”

: Haha, us millennials killing marriage, am I right?

: “Not only do you come home late, you’ve even stayed out overnight without my permission… I thought I had been clear about the friends you chose.”

: “Father, they’re not like-”

: “I have my hands full right now with the company. Don’t cause any more trouble for me.”

: “…I need to discuss something with everyone. Can we all meet?”

: “Haru… what could be wrong? I wonder why she wants to talk to us…”

: “It’s that same fiance guy, right? You know what’s going to happen…”

: “Based on what Haru just told us, she’ll be taken to his house on October 11th. That means our deadline is the 10th.”

: “But if we trigger a change of heart in your father, he’ll definitely be taken by the police. The label of a ‘criminal’s daughter’ will forever stick with you. Your current living situation may change as well.”

: “And to be honest… I’ve actually left a request on the Phantom Aficionado Website before.”

: “She did so around the time we were mulling over who to target next.”

: “But… the Phantom Thieves didn’t make a move. That’s when I met Mona-chan. I thought it was fate. I made my decision then. If the Phantom Thieves wouldn’t act, I’d do it myself…”

: “The mental shutdowns, Treasure, and finally, the change of heart… our interests have come together.”

: “Would you cooperate with us now?”

: “Of course. I should be the one cordially asking to be allowed on the team.”

: “From here on, we may be going up against the culprit behind those mental shutdown occurrences. This’ll be different from our training in Mementos. You better brace yourselves.”

: I joined a Megami Tensei speedrun discord a few days ago to ask a mechanics question, and happened to read a guide for P5R speedruns while I was there.

: It kind of made me re-think making a gamebreaker, if only because they use horribly outdated Personas (they fuse an Anzu just before the next boss, the one after Okumura) and get by mostly on items, buffs, and reflects.

: Have I mentioned that they play on Hard?

: “You’re suddenly lecturin’ us?”

: “Weak? Really?”

: “She can transform at the very least, but to be frank, she may slow us down. A lot.”

: “I’m sorry for causing such trouble…”

: “Nah, don’t worry about it. It’s actually convenient for us to target that CEO. Check out this news blog.”

: "There’s a lot of negative comments in regard to the Phantom Thieves. ‘The names of obvious criminals have come up, so why haven’t the Phantom Thieves acted yet!?’ "

: “The way they’re getting heated is on a different level.”

: “Don’t forget about the intel on the mental shutdown cases, all right?”

: “Of course! We’ll get 'em both!”

: Oh, one other detail I love about the speedrun of this game. The world record is something like 14 hours. Most people take somewhere between 15 and 20 hours on their first run.

: This means they have to strategically plan bathroom breaks, and this is where my favorite quote about that comes in: “In long scenes like the buffet after Kamoshida or Hawaii, go to the bathroom.”

: That’s honestly a pretty good way to play this game even if you’re not speedrunning it.

: “As Phantom Thieves, it’s our duty to punish him!”

: We do have an open night slot even though we can’t leave, so tonight we fix the laptop.

: The game warns you that it can take multiple nights to finish it - this is because the laptop is a stat trainer for proficiency. Because we’re already maxed in that, we can fix it in a single night.

: All computers are essentially made up of different components that have already been scalped multiple times by crypto miners. Seriously, they just announced a new video card (to avoid dating the LP I’m not saying which) that went from an initial $~800 MSRP to over $1200 before even releasing.

: If you’ve played Persona 3 or Persona 4, you might have wondered where Tanaka was. He was the guy who ran the TV shopping show in both of those games.

: This also answers the question of “What happened to all of those sunglasses Nyarlathotep had in Persona 2?”

: “What the heck? It just went to that site automatically. Was it configured to do that beforehand? Shady Commodities? So… it’s an entire online shopping site?”

: If you’re asking why they did this, it’s probably because at the time this game was being written, there was a bunch of public discourse over Silk Road.

: Just in case you haven’t heard of it, Silk Road was an online marketplace that dealt in illegal items - mostly drugs, as they banned the sale of weapons. The person who ran it, Ross Ulbricht, was arrested in 2013.

: “Either way, it’s certainly gotten my attention. Let’s check it out when we have some time.”

: Next time, we’ll go into Mementos. I’ve already transferred the save to the PS5, but I might decide not to do that anyway because of how boring fusing a gamebreaker is.