Click Here for Update 50
: We’re going to get a lot of these “Joker is eating curry while his phone goes off” scenes this update. I don’t know what possessed Atlus to do so many of them because none of the IMs are important.
: “Oh, you’re done eating. Here, I’ll make you a nice cup of coffee to wash it down. And make sure you wash your plate.”
: Thanks but no thanks Sojiro, we’re going to probably be puking in a couple minutes anyway.
: We do our… I’d call it weekly but I guess it’s not really… grip and sip. We didn’t go to Chihaya first, and that’s because we need her for something else - this week’s aojiru is for proficiency.
: The DVD store has new stock, so we’re going to rent what is probably a bootleg of 24 but the disc inside is actually Season 3 of The Office.
: That’s a nearly $75 book at current exchange rates. This old guy is just ripping us off… but we buy it anyway. From what I remember, the books from Jinbocho are so long that they take multiple sessions even with Speed Reading.
: NOW we go to Chihaya. The reason we’re doing this is because we’re going to work the convenience store job and then do Yoshida’s confidant - both of which give Charm.
: “That’s a ‘Racing Newspaper’. I feel for those horses being put to work.”
: “That’s the ‘Panda Bread’. The package is shaped like a panda.”
: Two things I never thought about. One: How is Joker hearing Morgana through that window? Two: Why is Morgana describing things Joker can presumably see?
: “There’s a sudden rush of customers as soon as Shibuya-senpai goes on break… let’s just focus on finding the barcodes and quickly getting through the crowd!”
: “There it is. Let’s scan it. I had no idea that pandas have white tails…”
: Joker: “Was it blue-eyed and overly attracted to human women?”
: And now we have all the information we need for the Mementos request. You might notice that this is suspiciously similar to the one with the Snowball lady - that’s because that one was added for Royal, while this one was in the base game.
: “You remember what you talked about earlier today, right?”
: “Yeah! We can’t allow this guy to abuse animals. And he’s doing it only for stress relief… he’s exactly the type of man we should punish. There’s no way I’m just letting this go.”
: “Kazuo Tsuboi, was it? Let’s steal this creep’s desires before he can harm any more innocent animals!”
: Sakai has a new trade, and I did it purely because I had a couple of exorcism waters from all of the Thoths I had to farm for the Megido card. If you don’t have any on hand, you can get them from the church in Kanda.
: “It is imperative that we resolve this situation, and social reform must be led by the government. However, who can the people currently depend on…? Yes, the Phantom Thieves!”
: “The fact that they’re being lionized is proof that the government is malfunctioning! The mismanagement by authority figures is what has led us to this terrible condition…”
: “It’s quite hot today, isn’t it, Kurusu-kun? I’m sweating profusely. Be sure to drink plenty of water and stay hydrated. You don’t want to get heat stroke…”
: “I’m scheduled to give a speech today, but one thing about it will be different… I could use your help, as usual. Do you mind?”
: “There will be cameras coming today, apparently. I don’t feel good about that, but I couldn’t decline… regardless, we will have to do as we have always done.”
: “Advocate an overly optimistic policy only to lure in voters during the election season… that’s how No-Good Tora thought and operated 20 years ago, making unachievable pledges.”
: “If you make a promise, you must keep it. If you make a mistake, you must atone for it. These are basic human principles that we have all learned from the youngest of ages…”
: “However, I’ve been distracting myself from that. Do you think I’ve regained my confidence?”
: “Well, I must have if you think so. However, I will never forget the disgrace I suffered as No-Good Tora. Can I tell you a story? I mentioned this before, but 20 years ago, I was lucky enough to become a Diet member.”
: “However, I wanted to be a politician for all the wrong reasons. I wanted to be in a position of power and I was obsessed with the glamorous lifestyle.”
: He wanted to see how big briefcases full of bribe money can get.
: “I thought only of being popular. I truly was ‘No-Good Tora’. Learn from me. Don’t let being a member of the Diet be your only goal in life.”
: Hahahahah oh wow. That’s a good one.
: “Being ambitious and striving to advance in the political world will change your outlook on life.”
: “You’re… Mr. Kuramoto’s grandson?”
: “Does he know that you’re here speaking with me now?”
: “You know about him?”
: “Mr. Kuramoto… spoke of me?”
: Does anyone else find it really weird that absolutely everyone else in this game uses Japanese honorifics except for Yoshida? I have to wonder if this was an intentional thing or it just slipped under the radar since we all know no one proofread the base game’s script.
: I have no idea what happens if you don’t have the DVD player yet, but it probably just doesn’t show up.
: “Vibrant colors are integral to their unique style. You would never see such radiance in a Japanese work. Although I must say, your television fails to accurately reproduce their brilliant allure.”
: “Might I suggest that you perhaps invest in a newer model?”
: Joker: “Look, Yusuke, we both know that LCDs can’t accurately render black and go with a gross approximation of it. Also I’d have nowhere to put my Famicom unless I buy an OSSC and those are like $200.”
: “Ah, so you are already partaking in the search process. In this era of endless commodities, you prefer to shop for the greatest bargain… a fine attitude indeed.”
: “Either way, I am surprised you even managed to get your hands on such an old television…”
: He says that, but I found a CRT on the side of the road in like 2018 that I used for a brief period before I realized that the flyback was dying and those are a bitch and a half to replace.
: We have a crossword puzzle tonight, and for some reason I can’t find the “H” so I can spell “Alcohol”.
: “… No, mother. He’s my shogi friend… I told you about him, remember?”
: Hifumi’s mother is basically Jun’s mother in Innocent Sin if she was an actual character and not an afterthought.
: “…Yes, Mother.”
: Much like Jun’s mother, Hifumi’s mother would be better if we only knew who she was after she was dead.
: “giggle That was quite honest of you. Not altogether inaccurate, though. …My father is ill and unable to work, so my mother supports us…”
: “My mother used to be a local TV announcer, but she had to quit to take care of my father… my father was a pro shogi player. He’s usually calm, but when he played you could really feel his spirit.”
: “He never hesitated when making a move, just like a king. I really admired him, so I started playing shogi too. …But after pouring everything he had into shogi, he suddenly collapsed one day.”
: Her dad shogi’d too hard and is now in the shadow realm.
: “In my mother’s eyes, shogi stole both her dream and her husband… and yet, she tells me to keep playing… she wants me to achieve her dreams.”
: Her mother is so similar to Junko Kurosu that if you replace “shogi” with “Jun” in that last sentence it’s a perfect description.
: “I should be working to help support us. I want to become a professional so that I can make enough money to ease my parents’ burden.”
: “I do photoshoots and interviews, hoping they’ll add some money to our household income… but it’s honestly quite difficult for me.”
: “I’m happy you’re so concerned about me… but when I think about my mother, I… no one sees me as a shogi player anymore. They no longer recognize my skills. I’m not playing shoji in the hopes of becoming an idol…”
: “I simply love my family, and I want to support them through our troubles… tsk, this isn’t good. I shouldn’t be focusing on such negative topics before a match…”
: Dammit Hifumi, start your LP career in another thread!
: “This will teach you how to escape from disadvantageous situations.”
: “Are you ready? That aura… my right eye is twitching. Now! It’s time to unleash my hidden evil eye! Now… to a fair match!”
: Joker readies his duel disk.
: There’s a neat thing here where if it’s raining out, Joker will have his umbrella out and then collapse it when he gets under the awning.
: “I apologize for my mother’s rude behavior earlier. She’s been on edge lately… my male fans are beginning to concern her… she didn’t mean to offend you at all. I hope you’ll accept my apology in her place.”
: “…My apologies. I didn’t mean to cause you any unnecessary worry. I’ll be sure to talk to her about you. No doubt my lack of skill is what caused my mother to be so hypersensitive…”
: “I intend to improve my skills, so I can become an established player and put my mother at ease. So, then… let us both work hard for our goals. Goodbye for now.”
: We’re going to do a Yusuke event today, except… well, you’ll see.
: Everything’s normal so far.
: See this? This is different. Let me translate what this means: it means that this is one of the confidant events which has a social stat check in the middle of it.
: There’s actually quite a few of these, and we’ll bump into a few more as we go. If you don’t have the social stat (in this case it’s just proficiency 4, so we’re fine) the event ends and you are usually permafucked due to the time loss.
: This is one of the things I think kinda sucks about the way confidants are designed. There’s no way for you to know which stat you need without using a guide (or trial and error) and it’s kind of hard to plan around.
: “Indeed it does. I haven’t come back here since I moved away… the truth is, despite my best efforts to convey the meaning of the heart, I am no closer to understanding it.”
: “Such a troublesome roadblock never presented itself to me while I was living here… as you know, I spent most of my life living in this very house.”
: “That is why we have come now. I wish to reevaluate myself within its decrepit walls. By coming to this place, I may be able to rekindle the passion for art I once held.”
: “The passion of an inquiring mind on the hunt for pure beauty… before I learned of Madarame’s foul nature.”
: If Yakuza has taught me anything, that house is already a secret hobo casino and also possibly a secret hobo martial arts dojo.
: “Hm… I suppose it was quite an old door to begin with. It had begun to rust even while I was a pupil here. It seems now it has finally broken.”
: “Hm…? I doubt you will be able to force your way through here. You must have a steady hand if you wish to fix it.”
: And here’s our stat check. Of course, Joker already knows that to enter the secret hobo casino he has to go to the porn store to get the password.
: “Akira, you are capable of fixing it? …You never cease to amaze me. Let us head inside.”
: “You know, I lived here not long ago, yet it feels almost like the distant past at this point… being here has brought back memories though. Whenever I acted out of line, I was made to sit calmly in this corner.”
: “Ah, and over here was a bookshelf, filled to the brim with various tomes. It contained art compilation books for the most part, but there were a few manga tucked away as well…”
: “At times I would take a break from my art to hide and read them…”
: “This is also where we would gather to eat when the atelier still had a large pupil count. Sensei is particularly fond of salty food, so…”
: “Y-Yes… my apologies. The truth of the matter is, I used to paint in this room… and I did it simply for the joy of painting. No matter what I took as my subject, my hands would move of their own accord to capture its essence.”
: “But back then, I only saw the superficial beauty of the world. I could not see the grime beneath. After learning the truth behind Madarame’s actions though, everything changed.”
: “I strove to fight back against the newfound ugliness I saw… to display my talent to those who mocked me. I needed to do whatever it took to validate my artistic ability.”
: “In that search for meaning, darkness took hold of me. …Ultimately, I began to emulate that which I had so deeply despised in Madarame.”
: What Yusuke means is that he found a PS2 emulator and played Kingdom Hearts. Kingdom Hearts was a mistake.
: “You know, Boss told me something very interesting when I was staying with you that one night at Leblanc… he said… he didn’t believe Madarame took me in for my skills alone.”
: “I suppose now that I think about it, there would be no way to know whether or not I would have been talented. …Akira, why do you think Madarame decided to take me in?”
: “A fair point. That may be something only Madarame himself is privy to… though perhaps even he doesn’t know…”
: “Even after learning the ugliness of his true nature, a part of me still believes in my former mentor. I simply cannot come to terms with the stark dualities presented to me…”
: I thought this cutscene might’ve been changed for Royal, but it wasn’t. There were minor alterations to a couple of lines, but that’s it.
: “The humble house and that loathsome Palace… the kind teacher and the fiendishly deceptive artist… it seems even the workings of my own heart are inexplicable. What, then, of my own search for pure beauty?”
: “You’re… the man from the exhibition?”
: Bullshit! He was here to play some cee-lo and figured the guard at the door was slacking off again.
: “How do you know about that?”
: Remember kids, never sign to a major. Much as I think MC Lars is kinda cringy, that song’s pretty on point.
: “Director of the Japanese Art Support Foundation… Akio Kawanabe? But… why have you chosen me? You criticized me so harshly back at the exhibition.”
: “The Japanese Art Support Foundation… my opportunity may have finally arrived… and it was all because you opened that door for me…”
: “Hm, it seems good luck is simply a characteristic of yours. You have my thanks, Leader.”
: “The emotions I felt in that house still remain within me to this day. I do think it’s a good thing that I was able to realize all this. By the way, that gentleman… Kawanabe, was it? What’s your impression of him?”
: “I had no idea he was the director of art support, but he definitely had a certain presence to him. And he was even able to instantly pinpoint my weakness. He certainly is no ordinary individual.”
: “As someone with neither a home nor a patron, I couldn’t ask for a better offer… on top of that, I may be able to find a way out of my slump once I can fully focus on drawing.”
: We have to do Akechi again tonight. Thankfully, this is not only his shortest confidant event, but also unlocks something I’ll need to make a small schedule change for.
: “Hey, Kurusu-kun. Good evening. Do you have some time right now? There was a place I wanted to visit with you, but what do you think? It’s a special place for me. I’m hoping you’ll like it too…”
: Welcome to the jazz club. I’m going to go to screenshots for a bit while I explain what its deal is, and also why we need to adjust the schedule.
: The jazz club is a place you can visit at night with any party member. Each day of the week has a different bonus: some nights give that party member bonus stats, while others can give them a free level up.
: There are very specific dates on which you can have one of your party members learn a skill. The ones we’re concerned about are 09/04 and 09/25 - these teach Charge (spend a turn doing nothing for a 2.5x multiplier on your next physical attack, physical skill, or gun skill) and Concentrate (same but for magic) respectively.
: There’s a few more we’ll want much later on, but none of these will require scheduling changes as they happen after we’ll have maxed out all of the night confidants.
: Now, the problem is that on 09/04, we’re supposed to do Iwai’s Rank 5. 09/25 is for Yoshida’s Rank 8. However, I’ve found a workaround.
: The workaround works like this. On 09/20, we have an optional non-rankup event with Ohya. We’ll still see that scene, but instead of doing Ohya that night, we’ll be doing Iwai instead. We will then need to buy an affinity reading for Iwai the next day.
: Then on 10/08, we have a free night that we’ll use for Yoshida. This way, we’ll still get 100% but not have to worry about permafucks.
: I know that seems cheaty when I said this is a 100% all confidants run, but the thing is that by the normal schedule, we’d have to do the “do the event and then reload to do a different one” thing anyway at a later date.
: Yusuke and Makoto both have colossal holes in their builds. Yusuke is almost entirely physical-based, all of his best skills are physical… and yet he doesn’t get Charge. Ryuji does, but Yusuke doesn’t for some reason.
: Makoto has a similar hole: she learns Nuke Boost, Nuke Amp, and the fourth-tier Nuke spell (Atomic Flare) but doesn’t learn Concentrate. Ann does (and this is why Ann is a permanent fixture in the party) but Makoto doesn’t even though she’d get a huge benefit from it.
: There’s a lot of weird skill holes like that. Ryuji learns Elec Boost but not Elec Amp and Yusuke never learns any Boosts or Amps. Morgana has both Wind Boost and Wind Amp (it really whips the llama’s ass) but never learns Panta Rhei.
: “Is it safe to assume you’ve visited places like this before? In any case, let’s head in.”
: “Nothing in particular, but if you don’t mind me choosing, then I’ll put in a random order. You don’t have any soft drinks you actively dislike, yes?”
: There’s a song that only plays in the jazz club - it’s sung by the same vocalist who did all of the vocal themes for P5 (Last Surprise, Beneath the Mask, etc) and is basically Akechi’s character song.
: It’s the vocal version of the theme from the Thieves Den because Royal’s writers REALLY wanted to push the whole Joker/Akechi ship, even though Joker has but one boyfriend and his name is Yusuke.
: "I’m glad to hear you say that. Work and obligations take me to quite a few restaurants and cafes, but this place is a little more special to me. I guess you could call it my go-to place. Do you have anywhere like that?’
: “A cafe, hm? Sounds like you have good taste. So you came out to Tokyo on your own, and now you live in a cafe loft… impressive. It’s like something out of a story.”
: “Though I have to say, I’m envious. You must be quite well-stocked on coffee and curry. I live alone myself, but I rarely have the time to cook my own meals… that reminds me, do you cook?”
: “Haha, that makes two of us. Frozen meals and convenience store food are tasty enough, don’t you think?”
: “I usually come here when I need some time to really think on my own. So chatting with you here is really quite refreshing. You know, you’re the first person I’ve ever brought here…”
: Joker immediately pulls out his phone. “I should invite my boyfriend then. You’d like him, he’s cute.”
: “It’s not like I was keeping it from anyone, but… I suppose it goes to show we do have some strange connection.”
: Another kinda meh ability.
: “Ah, it’s gotten late… we should probably be going. Well, see you later.”
: "Wasn’t the music today wonderful? Live bands always have this certain power to their music. Certainly the point of jazz is about all those jam sessions. A sea of improvisation, both complex and organic…’
: “As each player incorporates their own flavors, a natural melody is born from chaos. There’s something about that strange, erratic synchronicity… it’s a euphoria like when I manage to solve a case.”
: I don’t need to see him to know that Akechi is repeatedly tipping his fedora right now.
: “Well! I’m glad I brought you along, then. I thought I’d have more luck if I brought someone who I know can keep up with me intellectually. Jazz is a deep and complex style. I’d love for us to sit down and really talk about it sometime.”
: Fuck no.
: “Stop checking your phone while you’re eating. Just concentrate on your food.”
: We’re going to max out Kasumi’s confidant today, so I attempt to level up Ho-oh through the Gallows. It does not work.
: Once you use the gallows on a Persona, you can’t do it again - it might reset when they level up, but I’m not sure on that. Oh well, I’m gonna need to make an all-boosts accident to get Nuke Boost.
: “I thought so. But I’m glad you decided to humor me. Batting helps train your reflexes, dynamic vision, and improves the power of your stance. And really, those are important elements in gymnastics, too!”
: “… It all sounds pretty plausible, right? Actually, I just wanted to come here. Honestly, I wanted you to see me hit a home run.”
: “I remembered something from when I was little. My father used to take me to the batting cages a lot. The other kids were scared of getting hit by the baseballs, but I just loved swinging the bat around.”
: “Every time I hit one, I kept thinking ‘It doesn’t matter how fast they are! I’ll slam them into orbit!’ I thought if I tried to put myself back in that headspace, I could get some ideas on how to get my boldness back.”
: “What do you think? That could work, right?”
: “I feel so energized now! I’ll show you what I can do, Kurusu-senpai!”
: “I’m sorry… I knew I was rusty, but I didn’t expect to miss ALL of them… I never see the ball coming, and I keep flinching… I didn’t think my slump was hitting me this hard…”
: “Senpai… you’re right! I’ll give it one more shot!”
: I’m going to admit something. Even though this scene is super anime, I don’t hate it. It doesn’t really teach us much about Kasumi we didn’t already know, but at the same time it works because we haven’t been subjected to her for hours on end.
: I wish I could mod this game, because what I’d do is cut the party member confidants entirely. They’re kind of unnecessary, unlike Persona 4 where you really didn’t know much about your party unless you did their S-links.
: “I did it, Senpai! I hit the ball!”
: I think we all know she did that dumbass anime “block the bullets with your sword” thing until she managed a bunt.
: “I knew you were watching me! That’s how I did my best! Up until now, I’ve only been working for myself. I was so desperate to make a good impression.”
: “But since I started hanging out with you, Kurusu-senpai, I started feeling like I want to live up to your expectations. And that feeling’s helped me feel so much stronger!”
: “I’d forgotten how it felt to work that hard on someone else’s behalf.”
: “Right! Thank you very much! Ever since I met you, Senpai, I’ve been discovering so many things about myself. But now, I feel like I’m closer than ever to getting my confidence back.”
: “Oh, right! I’ve been feeling a lot more limber and energized lately, too! I’m not totally back to normal yet, but even my grades have been going back up.”
: “Yeah! I still need to show you what I can do! Next time, you won’t have to watch me fumbling with a bat - I’ll show you an all-new, full-power gymnastics routine!”
: You might notice that that’s not the same text we got when we maxed out Kawakami. I wonder why…
: Well, whatever. Maxed is maxed. I’m sure this confidant won’t open up again in, say, the month after the base game ends.
: “Anyway, we’ve still got a lot to hit! I think it’s your turn, Senpai! Give it all the guts you’ve got! Smash it into outer space!”
: “I haven’t swung a bat in a while. My arms still feel kind of weird. I was kind of hoping to knock it out with a clang… but I’m just happy I managed to hit the ball!”
: “It’s nice to dip into sports aside from gymnastics. Was there anything else you wanted to try, Senpai?”
: “Wait, really? I’m so happy that you’re interested in gymnastics! Men’s rhythmic gymnastics actually originated in Japan. You need a ton of power and speed to compete in those.”
: “But I’d say you have the potential to do well in it. I’d love to see you try some acrobatic moves! …Um, I have a request for you, Kurusu-senpai. May I ask you to join me for more things from now on?”
: “When I’m with you, I just feel so much more capable. Whether you want to go train again or just hang out and chat… please, reach out whenever. Okay, I’ll let you go.”
: Don’t you just love these pointless IM conversations? Let’s go to our final event for this update: another Caroline and Justine outing.
: “…somehow capable of simulating the ocean despite being indoors.”
: “Rumor has it that sea creatures from all around the world have been gathered in this one place.”
: “What an incredulous claim, recreating something as vast as the ocean within a building… does such a location sound familiar to you?”
: “Well? If you know where it is, then escort us there immediately!”
: “Oh, an aquarium, huh? Guess we’ll see how well it’s recreated Mother Ocean.”
: “Let us see just what humanity is capable of. Now, lead us there.”
: “It’s my first time in this place, but it feels familiar to me, somehow…”
: “Such a superficial detail would not preoccupy us.”
: “Don’t act like you’re some sort of expert, Inmate!”
: “Let’s continue inspecting the premises. There are a number of other exhibits we’ve yet to see.”
: “Yes, the semi-transparent, floating invertebrates were quite fascinating. I believe they were named ‘jellyfish’. Those ‘sea cucumber’ lifeforms were also very intriguing…”
: “Really? They only creeped me out. The exhibit with the enormous fish was much cooler - the ‘killer whale,’ if I remember correctly.”
: “What nonsense is this? The jellyfish are far more appealing.”
: “No, the killer whale is clearly superior.”
: Orcas are like a kiss of death for Sega games. I don’t know if Balan Wonderworld has an orca in it, but I know it has an underwater level and reviewed poorly, so I wouldn’t be surprised.
: “I’m relieved that you understand.”
: “Dammit! Well maybe you’ll see just how cool the killer whale is if I toss you in his tank!”
: Joker has met Sonic. He knows what happens to Sega characters who come too close to the orca.
: “I believe we’ve completed our inspection of the premises, correct? We’ve seen how oceanic lifeforms from all over the world have been gathered here by humans.”
: Brought here by humans who wish to pay them tribute. I heard the redone Symphony of the Night opening recently and it sucks.
: “Indeed - that raises a question, though… why do humans go through the trouble of collecting other creatures and putting them on public display?”
: This is another negotiation question from the older games.
: “So they construct this chamber of concrete and glass, only to confine themselves in it alongside the creatures? The arrogance…”
: “If they admire nature so much, they should just move to a rainforest. I still don’t get you humans.”
: “Whatever the case may be, this assignment is now complete. Here is your reward.”
: “All right, it’s time to head back. Hm?”
: “…What is a penguin?”
: There’s a clip from Shirokuma Cafe I really wanted to put here that involves penguins putting on a sentai show, but I can’t find it on Youtube and lost the hard drive I had the show on years ago.
: “Hmmm…”
: “We have no particular interest in such a display…”
: Next time, we’ll feed the plant again, do a Yusuke confidant, reach Rank 9 with Ann, and then get locked into doing an optional event with Makoto for the sole reason that there’s nothing else I can fit in that time slot.
: Seriously, I had this whole thing planned out where we’d do a bunch of events earlier than normal, but all that really does is leave us with a couple of days near the end where we have nothing to do.