: For this one, I’m not going to actually write anything. The idea I gave Eligap was something like “the priest talks about rebirth and hope, and maybe Yusuke realizes that he’s the one who needs to change his world and finally admit who he is before he can get over his slump.”
Click Here for Update 41
: It’s July 10th, and now the opinion bar is significantly higher than before.
: You might be wondering why we haven’t touched Sojiro’s confidant in a long time. The reason is that a lot of it is locked off until after we start the next dungeon.
: “Huh? It’s not right? …Not cute? That was the one the staff recommended to me though… won’t that printer do?”
: “Huh? It’ll do, but it’s not it? …Okay, I’ll be right over.”
: “This might take a while. I’m leaving the store to you. Lock up for me if I don’t come back.”
: “Something like that… sheesh, what a handful.”
: “I mean, apart from our- I mean their- writing quality being kind of all over the place, sure.”
: “But to think the Phantom Thieves would honestly attempt an absurd idea like social reform… you’re absolutely right. I’m not pleased about the general public’s support of them either.”
: “There’s also the danger of the Metaverse being exposed with their continued actions… actually, there is one countermeasure he brought in that seems usable.”
: I’m surprised it took Superintendent Chalmers here this long to think this plan up.
: “…Ah, I thought as much. I had a feeling that it was too brutal for it to be his own idea. Still, to think you’d go through such elaborate detail to crush them…”
: “Their actions must be that much of an eyesore for you. I sympathize with what you’re going through. Well then, we’ll clean this up quickly and put it behind us.”
: “Yes. A grand undertaking like social reform is beyond a group such as the Phantom Thieves. Only a select few are worthy of changing the world. And who better than the future Prime Minister… sir?”
: “Gotcha! We’re gonna come over right now about the you-know-what. Seeya!”
: “That’s not why we’re here! We need to study for finals!”
: sigh “Why am I here too?”
: “You’re one of us now, so of course you gotta help us. We’re in trouble if you don’t teach us, you know?”
: Clearly, Ryuji never met my Persona 4 protagonist who got the top slot in every exam that wasn’t the first set and never studied.
: “Ohoho, oh, I’ll hold you to that! Wanna see who gets the higher test scores?”
: I’m pretty sure in the next round of exams that we get the “good but not top score” result, so it’s going to be us. I haven’t recorded it yet.
: “Let’s leave those guys be…”
: sigh “I couldn’t ask the last time I was here… but what is this place? The storekeeper doesn’t seem to be around…”
: “It’s where this guy lives. He’s got complicated circumstances… we can tell her about it, right? Actually, tell her yourself.”
: “Ann, Yusuke and me are pretty much the same too. I mean, it’s not as bad as this guy’s though. There’s just something we can’t ever put up with. That’s why we all become Phantom Thieves.”
: “Hey, don’t forget me.”
: “I know, I know. We’re all part of the team. By the way, Makoto, ain’t there someone you can’t forgive either? Like, a heart you wanna change?”
: “…That’s a secret.”
: “Ooh, there’s someone like that? You could just tell us, you know. You don’t gotta be so cold.”
: “That aside, do you have any intention of studying for the exams?”
: “Not really…”
: “It’s fine if I leave then?”
: “N-No, I’m just joking! Please teach us…”
: “Leave vocabulary and long sentences to me. I suck at proper grammar, though…”
: “Even if we study English, it’s not like I’m gonna use it in the future.”
: Yeah, I mean, who even uses English? Everybody knows Esperanto is where it’s at (Esperanto is not, has never been, and likely never will be ‘where it’s at’.)
: “When it comes to you, your Japanese is questionable too.”
: “Aw shuddup!”
: It’s so you can dunk on stuff. “The Medium was a game designed by people who had some very strange and dated feelings regarding mental illness and felt that Allanson Monologues could stand in as a replacement for storytelling.”
: “It’s impossible! I can’t memorize all these formulas… ain’t there a good way of cheatin’?”
: “…Why don’t we take a break?”
: “The question is what the Phantom Thieves actually did. If they tampered with a suspect’s heart, it casts doubt on the authenticity of any confession.”
: “We can’t deny the possibility. There’s no doubt that the Phantom Thieves are exposing hidden injustices in society. However, if this is done by sidestepping the law, their way of thinking is very dangerous.”
: “Yes. They’re no different than the criminals they target. This cannot be overlooked.”
: “I see,” my ass. Why the hell’re we bein’ treated as the bad guys?"
: “Just let them say whatever they want. More people are starting to understand that what we’re doing is right, after all.”
: “When I’m walkin’ around in town, I hear a lot more people talkin’ about us too. And the forum’s been full of hype! Do you think we made it big time?”
: “Don’t get pompous over dealing with some street thug. Save it for after we deal with a bigger target.”
: “We just gotta take down a bigger one, yeah? That was the plan from the start, anyways!”
: “True, it may be best if we start thinking about it.”
: “I bet we’ll find one in no time. The wind’s blowin’ in our direction and everything! I feel like we won’t lose to anything right now.”
: “Well, we’ll decide on that eventually. We need to overcome our exams first. Now then, break time’s over! Let’s get back to-”
: You might’ve noticed that this is a lengthy cutscene where not a whole lot is happening. Trust me, it gets worse.
: “Where should we go? I feel like I’ll study better if I got something to look forward to.”
: “The last one was a buffet at a hotel. We haven’t gone anywhere since.”
: “…Hm!? A buffet!?”
: “Where would be good? Hey, what about fireworks!? A fireworks festival!”
: “Oh yeah, it’s that season, huh!”
: “That sounds good to me.”
: “It’s hard to ignore a buffet, but I’ll take the beauties of summer. Still, I demand that we feast during the festival as well.”
: “Do you guys own a yukata? Will you wear a yukata!?”
: “Doesn’t a fireworks festival sound good? You think so too, right?”
: I get this is a thing that happens in real life, but like… why is this dialog here? What purpose does it serve?
: I mean, the cutscene has a purpose that we’ll see in a second, but there’s no reason it needed to be this long.
: “C’mon, you gotta be more active! All right, fireworks festival it is! Let’s look for a good one!”
: “Study comes first, though. I won’t let you off if you fail any of them. Are we clear?”
: “Y-Yes, ma’am…”
: I also don’t get why, like… they put this entire thing into the game specifically for phone calls and didn’t just use those portraits.
: Meet our next target. At least she understands the Featherman hierarchy - Red always goes next to Black.
: We actually saw her in an earlier update when I was dicking around the school.
: If you thought the last Mementos update was long, the next one’s going to have a whopping 9 requests to do.
: We spend the night finishing ICU, and this is the only actual gameplay we are going to have for at least the next half hour.
: “…I didn’t expect the Phantom Thieves would suppress a man that even the police had trouble with. The fact they have so much support online is worrisome. I’m in a bind since I previously denounced them.”
: Get used to this, because this is going to be a recurring thing.
: “All the interviews these days ask me about that. …Still, can we really say the Phantom Thieves are on the side of justice with just this example?”
: “Haha, thank you. But… I notice you’re not saying the Phantom Thieves are right. I suppose that was an unfair way to phrase it.”
: “I was originally investigating the mental shutdown incidents. …Don’t you think it’s similar to the change of heart that the Phantom Thieves are doing?”
: “Now that I think about it, their actions mirror the mental shutdown cases, with the rate of victims. It’s impossible not to see a connection there…”
: “…Ah, sorry. I don’t want to make you late. I’ll see you again.”
: Don’t you love how Akechi is the only one who gets confidant events outside of his actual confidant? Because I don’t.
: “Thanks to Kaneshiro spilling the beans, that organization is falling like a house of cards. Hehehe… we’re getting more and more famous!”
: “I know some of you rely on all-nighters, but I can’t recommend it. That really messes up your information retention.”
: “Oh, speaking of! Do you guys know the difference between short-term and long-term memory? The simple answer is that short-term memory’s more temporary. Contextual. But long-term memories stick with you.”
: “In the short-term, you’re working with a hard limit. You retain only… six, maybe seven pieces of information.”
: This is a hypothesis put forward by George Miller in his 1956 book “The Magical Number Seven, Plus or Minus Two”. I know this because I had a teacher in high school who was a less annoying version of Maruki.
: Miller’s theory has been challenged several times since he originally published, mostly by people claiming the number is much lower than that.
: “But your brain’s capacity for long-term memory is huge. It might even be infinite, according to some theories. Okay, so… Kurusu-kun! What do you think about all this?”
: “Short-term memories only stick with you for seconds at a time. That said… how long do you think you can retain long-term memories?”
: “So he wants to know how long you keep long-term memories, huh…? This is a tricky one. What is long-term memory, anyway?”
: “Yeah. It was something like that! So anyway, you keep them for a long time. The question is, how long. Maruki mentioned something about the amount of memories you could store, right? Something like…”
: “Yeah! If you have theoretically infinite space for them… then theoretically, you’d be able to retain them for…”
: “Yeah. I think so too. …So that’s it. Long-term memories will never really fade away!”
: “That’s right! I’m impressed! Basically, stuff encoded into your long-term memory never really goes away. Short-term memories become long-term memories through reiteration.”
: “It’d be great if you could encode all the test answers to long-term memory, huh? Ah well. Can’t always get what you want.”
: And now we’re about to see why I didn’t do the reset-heavy route.
: If you’re doing the reset-heavy route, you need this chalk dodge. We just happened to get it, but keep in mind the last save point was last night and you need to answer Maruki’s question right to not permafuck.
: Anyway, that’s our gameplay for this update.
: “Heading home? Its rare running into you at this hour. Oh, that reminds me - do you remember the counseling Dr. Maruki’s offering?”
: “It seems to be growing quite popular. I saw someone heading into the nurse’s office just as I was leaving the school… the teachers say he’s well worth his time here, but I have a feeling there’s more to his popularity than just talent…”
: “Hm? Oh, you’re talking about the exams coming up. No need to worry there. My study routine’s rigorous enough that I’m not panicking over it.”
: “…I appreciate the concern, but how about yourself? Depending on the exam scores, there may not be a fireworks festival for anyone to attend - were you aware?”
: I hate that they have to justify every single thing in Royal because otherwise it makes no sense. Keep in mind that what most of these extra cutscenes are doing is trying to justify Royal’s plot.
: “I’m joking. But make sure you study well, all right? I need to buy some more test prep booklets on my way home. See you later.”
: “What a pleasant surprise. Are you headed home too? Same here - I don’t have club practice today. That reminds me, there’s something I want to report to you. Would now be a good time?”
: “Thank you. Why don’t we find a seat somewhere?”
: And now it’s time for this cutscene to get real pointless, real fast.
: “And you are…”
: “It’s been quite a while, Akechi-san.”
: “And the same for you… Yoshizawa-san, right?”
: “My father works at a TV station. Have you seen ‘Good Morning Japan’? My father’s the director.”
: “I’ve been brought onto the show as a guest a number of times now. That’s how I ended up becoming acquainted with Yoshizawa-san. I didn’t know you knew her as well, Kurusu-kun.”
: “He helped me out of a jam before, and now he’s been offering me guidance.”
: I think this entire scene is kind of emblematic of the issues Royal’s writing has, and why Kasumi as a character was just kind of a bad idea.
: The writers for Royal knew that the base game had issues with certain party members barely getting screen time, and knew that adding in a new character would screw with the balance, and they tried to make it work by just… adding more writing.
: In the process, they killed the gameplay to cutscene ratio in a lot of places. This is one of them.
: “Helped you out of a jam, eh? I see… so, what were you two up to?”
: “Oh, right! I was just about to share some exciting news. It’s nothing to keep secret, so I may as well spill it now. About that summer competition I mentioned to you before?”
: “This only feels like the beginning to me, though.”
: “Isn’t your club’s team considered to be quite prestigious? And you’re their representative? I must say, that’s extremely impressive.”
: “Thank you! I’ll do my best to make everyone proud.”
: “I’ll be cheering you on as well. Ah, I have an idea - since all three of us are here, why don’t we go somewhere as a group? We can call it our little celebration for Yoshizawa-san’s success.”
: “That would be wonderful! does that work for you, Kurusu-senpai?”
: “That settles it. Would you mind if I chose the place? There’s a wonderful little cafe I know about…”
: “Of course! Lead the way!”
: It’s actually iced coffee, Colette. It’s great how that’s the only scene anyone remembers from Tales of Symphonia.
: “Good point. Well, some people say coffee can cool you off, even when hot, so I try to avoid that too. I had this image that you enjoy sweet things, Akechi-san - is that untrue?”
: “I swear I saw you eating fried sweet bread on TV just the other day…”
: “It’s all part of a marketing strategy. That sort of stunt is an easy crowd-pleaser.”
: If only we were in December right now. There’s something that Atlus does in the expansion content that could very easily be described this way.
: “You seem to have your own bases covered as well.”
: I’m gonna be real here, I stopped reading the dialog like ten minutes ago. When I recorded this I had to go back a few times because I’m like “What’s the question again?”
: “Haha, you’re more innocent than I had expected.”
: “I’ve been wondering: how do you two know each other?”
: “His social studies class visited the set of a TV show I appeared on.”
: This is getting dangerously close to Allanson writing and I don’t like it.
: “Ah, that’s right. Second-years got to go to a TV station.”
: “He and I exchanged our opinions during the shoot and his way of thinking intrigued me.”
: I faulted the Allansons for this, and I’m going to fault Atlus for it: describing things I’ve already seen and fully understand is bad writing. Stop fucking doing it!
: “I can definitely see that! Kurusu-senpai’s take on things often helps me as well.”
: “That reminds me, Yoshizawa-san. You had mentioned that he’s been providing you with some guidance.”
: She just fucking said that!
: “Yes - just like you said, his way of thinking is intriguing. I figured I could benefit from his input.”
: “In that case, let’s play a little game. Would you mind if I posed the same question to you that I first asked him?”
: “No, go right ahead.”
: “The Phantom Thieves? You mean in the case that they do in fact exist, yes? I admit that the assistance of others in need is a truly great act… but I simply can’t agree with their methods.”
: “I see. Care to explain why?”
: “I suspect the Phantom Thieves’ existence isn’t going to be beneficial in the long run.”
: “How so?”
: “Well, for example, when someone’s faced with a problem to overcome, I believe they need to do it themselves. Getting help from others is totally fine, but in the end, it takes a person’s initiative to truly create lasting change.”
: Let me explain to you exactly what is going on here. What they’re trying to do is justify the plot of the new final dungeon, several months before we actually go there.
: Now, this is a game that expects that I’ve forgotten things people said not even minutes ago. How do they expect me to remember this in 40 hours at the end of the game?
: Why does this sound like the writers for Royal really didn’t understand what it is the Phantom Thieves do?
: I can’t tell if Kasumi is supposed to sound slightly robotic here, or if that’s just a bad localization. It’s probably the latter, given this game’s localization history.
: “I see… So, in the sense of a person’s growth, their actions actually hinder it. Quite an interesting take on the matter.”
: “Haha, quite. I’d say it’s equally as unique as your own opinions.”
: “Wait… could you actually be a fan of the Phantom Thieves, Kurusu-senpai!?”
: “I didn’t mean to start an argument. I just can’t help myself sometimes. Let’s change the subject to something a bit lighter.”
: “I’m sorry, I should probably get going… if I’m away from home too late, my parents will begin to worry.”
: “Right, then let’s call it a day. Good luck on your competition.”
: “Yes! Thank you! Well then, see you later!”
: Before we do anything, Sakai has a decent sword for Yusuke that he’ll trade for the Soothing Soba we picked up a few days ago.
: After a quick trip to Chihaya to get the extra point in Knowledge, it’s time for Hifumi again.
: “You think to protect yourself with that paltry defense? Hahaha… useless! Awaken, dragon! Let your shadowy hellfire consume them all! Dark Inferno Rook!”
: Joker activates his trap card, which he uses to special summon Blue Eyes White Dragon in defensive position.
: “Can you hear them? The wailing of dying soldiers, echoing throughout the battlefield. With an incompetent king, a soldier cannot show his true bravery. Time for you to suffer!”
: “At last, everything is in place… my right hand trembles as I release my full power!”
: I feel like Hashino had no more of an idea of how shogi is played than I do, so he just watched the Yu-Gi-Oh anime and went “Meh, close enough.”
: “…Check.”
: “Ah, I did it again… it’s an embarrassing habit I have. During a match, I, um… I tend to get very aggressive. It’s as if I assume the role of a queen of a kingdom…”
: “I-It is…? …You’re a strange one, indeed. My father had me do image training exercises when I was younger, to help me learn the rules. I gradually began to view the shogi board as if it were my own kingdom…”
: “I had fun coming up with stories and strategies for my, um, subjects. However… I’ve heard that people make fun of me on the internet.”
: “People think that I’m weird, or that I’m an otaku, or that I’m just crazy… I mean, I can’t blame them… certainly, I think I’m weird too.”
: Joker looks at her, goes “It’s okay,” and then opens his jacket to reveal one of those arm deck holder things you see in the YGO anime. “I too believe in the heart of the cards.”
: Then they both laugh when he describes Ryuji’s collection of heavily-modded Beyblades.
: “Your positivity is… a welcome relief. I may be able to learn more from our matches than I thought.”
: “That will do for today.”
: I have no idea why Joker’s arms are like that in this one shot. I looked back at the video I took and it just kinda happens.
: “Do you read weekly magazines…? Um, well, I’m doing a photoshoot for one…”
: By Persona 6, all the female social links will be idols who are also magical girls.
: “You’re quite perceptive. I thought you’d be surprised if you saw it on the newsstand, so I wanted to let you know beforehand. In all honesty, I’m very reluctant to do it…”
: “But… if I can draw more attention to shogi, maybe the sport will become more popular… at least, that’s how I’m justifying it to myself… I have an interview scheduled for tonight as well, so let’s end here for today.”
: “A summer festival, huh… you think they’ll have any A5 beef there?”
: I’ve never had wagyu beef before, but it seems really overpriced for what it is.
: “Well, you should worry about finals first. Once those are over, it’ll be summer vacation, so stay focused!”
: The funny thing is that there’s an adult party member in Strikers. The party member is a cop, because of course, can’t have any anti-police messaging in an Atlus game.
: I doubt I’ll ever get that far because Strikers is just… bad. The balance sucks and every boss fight is like fighting Kaneshiro ten times over.
: “Behind Kaneshiro’s arrest are the ‘Phantom Thieves’, the mysterious group that changes people’s hearts. If I recall, there were similar rumors back during that business with Kamoshida-kun.”
: “Help the weak and crush the strong… truly a modern legend of the gentleman thief. In the long history of humans, the gentleman thief has been seen briefly during times of turmoil.”
: “Now then, please look at this picture, Kurusu-kun.”
: “He did something during the Sengoku period that had him and his family boiled to death. Do you know what he did?”
: There’s a scene in the earliest Lupin III anime where Lupin meets Goemon and throws a firebomb at him because “I mean, it worked on his ancestor!”
: “That’s correct. Ishikawa Goemon is Japan’s most famous thief… he’s very popular, and some called him a gentleman thief. By the way, the Goemon bath comes from his name.”
: I couldn’t really find a good picture of one, but a Goemon bath (the Japanese term is “Goemon-buro”) is a one-person bath which is shaped like a cauldron and is usually recessed into the ground.
: You sometimes see this in anime where people use steel barrels instead - I know Suikoden 2 does this when you first get the bath house.
: “Only stealing from the rich and powerful, and sharing with the poor… Goemon’s exploits have been documented in many forms of media, like kabuki and novels.”
: And well, the entire Ganbare Goemon/Mystical Ninja series.
: “Rebellion against Hideyoshi, whose campaign had failed; propaganda by the government to sully his name… the gentleman thief Goemon may be no more than an illusion made by varying motivations.”
: “In actuality, most heroes and gentleman thieves throughout history are something like that.”
: “Let’s make sure people don’t think we’re just an illusion. But before that, you need to study for the exams that are starting tomorrow.”
: “Oh no, everyone’s permitted to stop by whenever they like! I know the phrase ‘counseling session’ can make some people nervous, but don’t be.”
: “Considering you’re the student council president, I’d rather they didn’t force you to come here at all, actually.”
: “Well, I was advised to come, but I still chose to do it on my own.”
: “Oh, good! Glad to hear it.”
: “But please, there’s no need to be concerned about my being here. Feel free to discuss anything with me.”
: “Ah, right. So I shall. Heh, you’re sounding more like the counselor here than I am.”
: It’s like they purposely got the two most annoying characters in the game and put them in the same room just to make me hate the writing more.
: “Oh, not at all - in fact, quite the opposite. I’m actually a bit of a mess, and I always have to turn to others for help.”
: “Well you sure had me fooled. Even still, getting help isn’t a bad thing at all. In fact, it’s wonderful that you have a support system.”
: “Indeed… especially lately. I feel like I can’t do anything right by myself nowadays.”
: “Did something go wrong for you?”
: “Yes, but it’s nothing major. I’ve come to understand all too well that it’s a bad idea taking on more of a burden than one should.”
: So if you’re like me, you’ve probably noticed that we’ve gone through a substantial amount of cutscene without really learning anything new.
: Believe me when I say there is a point to all of these dumbass therapy cutscenes, and the point is unbelievably stupid.
: “You really do seem like someone with a mature sense of responsibility. However, that may be why people around you - especially the adults who should be protecting you - rely on you so much.”
: I think the writers kind of forgot how old Makoto is. Her listed birthday is April 23rd, 1998 - meaning she’s 18 for the vast majority of the game. Giving her this kind of talk at that age (when she’s meant to be starting to gain independence) is just… weird.
: In fact, the writers kind of forgot a lot when it comes to ages. Canonically, Makoto is a senior in high school. She’s in college when Strikers starts in Summer 2017. Ann and Ryuji, who were born in 1999, are sophomores. I don’t quite get how that works.
: “Adults… who should be protecting me? Had I been clever enough to understand that earlier, things may have gone a bit differently for me.”
: “You think so? Ah… you live alone with your older sister. I see. Pardon my saying so, but it seems you’ve been through quite a lot.”
: “Honestly, it only felt like the norm to me. But our lack of adult guardians has to have been hard on my sister - even now as well… and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t hard for me, too.”
: Surprisingly, nothing has ever been said about Makoto’s mother, even in side material.
: “…In fact, now that I think about it, I may well have grown up to be a bit uptight because of that.”
: “Is that so… and are you doing okay now? Is your support system adequate?”
: “It’s not as if I have a team of employees or anything, but I do have people that I’m able to rely upon well.”
: “Of course, I’d never think of them as replacements for my father or my sister. No one could replace either of them.”
: “What I’ve lost won’t ever come back. I just need to keep my chin up and push towards my future.”
: “Mm, I like the way you put that. No one can ever be replaced… yet we need to keep pushing towards our future.”
: “Should anything come up that you want help with, I’ll be there to support you… though my skills are pretty limited.”
: After a quick trip to Chihaya for a luck reading, we’re going to spend the afternoon with Ryuji.
: “Hehehe… you prolly didn’t realize it, but I recorded Yamauchi’s whole convo back at the monja shop! I’m a genius, I know.”
: “Anyways, uh… I might need some backup here. Can you stick around?”
: “Dude, chill. I just wanna talk. Listen. This here is what’s really goin’ on with the track team.”
: “It’s Yamauchi’s voice, ain’t it? And on top of that, shit’s gone down just like he said.”
: “Proud?”
: “…So you trusted what he was sayin’ about Nakaoka 'cause of stupid crap like that?”
: “Like hell I don’t know! How long were we runnin’ together, huh!? I went through all sorts of shit with you!”
: “Who’re you livin’ your life for? Your parents? Teachers? Society? Maybe you should stop tryin’ to live for them, and just try livin’ for yourself.”
: “You think you gotta betray people to be proud?”
: “If that’s seriously what you think, you’re wrong! Nakaoka. You knew something was up with Yamauchi too, didn’t you? I mean, the bastard’s never been interested in track before…”
: “But you kept quiet. You knew he was walkin’ all over you, and you just let him do it.”
: “…You missed runnin’ that bad? Y’know, it ain’t so scary not havin’ a place you belong. You can kinda be free that way. If anything, I’m more scared of bein’ a crappy person.”
: “I mean, I used to be like you guys… afraid, lyin’ to myself… that is, before I met this dude. I don’t wanna insult you guys or nothin’, but I know you’re prolly real pissed about all this…”
: I like that the way this captured, it looks like Ryuji is being tiger dropped.
: “You saw that, right? That was some serious violence!”
: “Naw, man. I’ve been takin’ good care of this face, and look what ended up happenin’ to it. Either way, they’re prolly feelin’ way better now. I think they’re gonna be just fine together.”
: Persona 4 also had this weird thing about male relationships being centered around fights and it’s like… no, that’s not really how it works.
: “…Thanks.”
: “You’re tellin’ me. You just sat around while I got my ass beat… for real though, you were a big help. You were pushin’ me to be cool that whole time.”
: “It’s kinda like I was doin’ a sprint… and you were runnin’ next to me.”
: “Look, Ryuji, is this gonna be one of those Jesus things, because I told you we can’t fuse Messiah without the DLC.”
: And now it’s time to send Ryuji to the own zone. Yes, this is the “correct” answer points-wise.
: “Brutal! Just forget about the beatin’ I took, okay!?”
: Endure is an ability like Harisen Recovery that every party member gets. Atlus kind of got their shit together for P5 and toned down enemies with instakill spells, but this is still nice to have.
: “Anyways, let’s head home. I think my mouth’s bleedin’, so we’ll hafta eat some other time. Later!”
: “Gah… man, my jaw’s still kinda messed up. But it’s a good kinda pain, you know? Like just after a workout.”
: “They’re gonna have to handle the rest, but… I think they’ll make the right call. Seein’ them havin’ a real heart-to-heart talk… they got a good team.”
: “…I hope so. Still a long way from how things used to be, but… I did all I could. Man. If those guys are really gonna go for this, I gotta step up my own game.”
: “I’m gonna up my pace, so you better be ready for it! 'Kay, later!”
: And this is why I visited Chihaya earlier. This will bring us up to a total of three extra points in Knowledge beyond where we’d otherwise be.
: Oh, I know this one!
: The first word I saw in the letters was “Israel” for some reason.
: Looking at it, you could also make “Rompers”, which yeah I suppose so.
: “You went to that cafe with Yoshizawa-san the other day, right? It’s been getting quite a bit of buzz lately, you know.”
: “I was hoping we could discuss things over some tea, but…”
: These lines weren’t in the original game because Akechi was an auto-confidant, and I’m almost positive this is a dig at the players.
: The thing is that in popularity polls in Japan, Akechi consistently ranked higher than most of the actual playable characters… largely with people who treat him as sort of the unofficial LGBT romance route.
: I say “LGBT” rather than “Gay” because a lot of the Akechi shipping material involves genderflips where either Akechi or Joker (or sometimes both) are genderflipped or trans.
: There’s also a lot of weird shit with like, love octagons where Joker and Akechi are dating but are also dating the female version of each other and several other characters at the same time.
: None of this stuff exists with any of the other characters to any significant degree, outside of Yusuke getting a lot of gay/bi fanart.
: “But you? I expect you’ll pass muster easily.”
: “No, I only learned about it recently. Fads tend to be fairly similar, so I’m more curious about its popularity than its taste. Well, why don’t we give it a try?”
: “I actually enjoyed that more than I thought I would.”
: “Uh-oh. Looks like I’ve been spotted.”
: “She’s just here for the cake, I’m guessing. I’m sure she doesn’t mean any harm, but I don’t want to cause any trouble for the store…”
: “Looks like I’m out of time. I wish I could’ve relaxed a little longer, though. We should go.”
: Oh, he’s done PLENTY wrong.
: “Sorry, but I think it’d be best to leave. I’m only going to cause problems if I stay. A shame I don’t have glasses like you. Maybe I would have been able to get out of this situation.”
: Is Akechi’s hair prehensile or something? How the hell did he go from it being messy to being styled again?
: “I suppose I’d better learn to watch what I say around you.”
: “Well, you saved me. I daresay such crude means would never have occurred to me. Still… there’s no knowing how things may go unless you give it a try, hm?”
: “I think I’ve learned a valuable lesson. Thank you.”
: “Looks like our coffee’s gone cold. Why don’t we order new ones?”
: “But you certainly surprised me today. I can’t believe we got out of that with such a basic trick. It was an interesting experience, but… I definitely don’t want to go through that ordeal ever again.”
: “I saw firsthand what happens when I’m too careless with my words around you.”
: “…You have a twisted concept of ‘fun’. Though if you dressed as me next time, I think I might agree. I could use a stunt double.”
: “You and I aren’t terribly different in height. I’m sure my clothes would fit you. If we do this, it’ll have to be carefully planned, of course. I’ll be dictating everything, from hair to accessories.”
: Oh, right. I realized just now that I’ve never explained why I hate Akechi so much. The answer is that like many characters in this game, he is a direct ripoff of a character from an earlier game.
: The problem is I can’t say which.
: And that’ll do it. Next time, we’ll do exams, witness yet another pointless Maruki cutscene that exists solely to justify Royal’s plot, and go to the fireworks festival.
Maybe this game would be better if it actually had an antagonistic yet not evil authority figure in charge of the public opinion campaign on the other side, possibly voiced by J. K. Simmons, pounding their fist on their desk and yelling, “THOSE PHANTOM THIEVES ARE A MENACE!”
Also I’m gonna… I’m gonna assume the writers were making a joke about short-term memory retainment by asking you questions about the stuff Maruki literally said two text boxes ago. Or maybe they knew it’d be a challenge because players would zone out whenever he was speaking.
I just realized the Phantom Thieves have more than 30% popularity. They have enough public support to take over the country. Let’s! Do! Some! Totalitarianism!
Yeah it’s called Soul Resurrection.
Sir. SIR. it’s called a Duel Disk. デュエルディスク.
yea it is weird its pretty terrible who would come up with this and then say ‘yes this is what i want to do’.
oh. right. that guy.
A support system? Oh no, does that mean Makoto’s G R O W T H I S B E I N G H I N D E R E D
High school in Japan is three years iirc. So when the game says ‘senior’ it means a third-year student.
There’s a lot of stuff like that in the script for Royal, and the only sense I can make of it is that it was a rush job on corporate’s part… even though they knew the Persona 5 base game script had issues that resulted from being pushed out the door during the Atlus/Sega merger.
They actually DO have this… in Strikers. The cop party member has a boss who as far as I know isn’t actually evil but is all “We’ve gotta get those Phantom Thieves off the streets!”
Look I’ve never watched the YGO anime or engaged with it at all outside of seeing people playing tournaments when I was still playing Pathfinder. Just be glad I didn’t call it a Card Fan.
Click Here For Update 42
: Today, we actually get a unique conversation at the subway platform. I don’t know why the writers didn’t do more of these and less of… what they actually did.
: “I just heard this, but apparently we’re havin’ a summer festival soon! I heard there’s gonna be shit like kebabs, steaks… the hot stuff! Dude, I am so PUMPED!”
: In the grim future of 20XX, there is only meat, and the looming shadow of barbecue.
: “Well, duh! What else would you want? Oh man… I can’t stop thinking about meat… piping hot, juicy meat… oh man, now I’m hungry. Let’s get going already!”
: Joker instinctively pulls out his air horn because even if Ryuji isn’t horny, it’s close enough.
: The next few days are nothing but exams, so let’s do this.
: Well, fuck. I hate geometry. I have not even the slightest idea how you’re supposed to go about solving this.
: “This looks tough, but let’s calm down and think it through.”
: “Ugh. Baozi, in this hot weather…? Well, never mind. I think this came up in class. They were invented by that famous guy from Romance of the Three Kingdoms, right?”
: I’ve read a bit of ROT3K but I barely understood it or remember much apart from the most major characters. Lu Su was an adviser to the Kingdom of Wu and led Sun Quan’s army until he died.
: Cao Cao on the other hand was the head of the Kingdom of Wei and also a bloodthirsty tyrant. His recipe for Baozi would probably involve stabbing the shit out of people.
: “Yeah. The strategist of Shu. I think the story was about a river overflowing somewhere Zhuge Liang visited. And they were offering something to quell the river…”
: “That’s it. A crazy story… and that’s how he came up with the baozi, right? This master strategist came up with the baozi to…”
: “Yeah. I think you’re right. The baozi were invented as an offering to a river spirit, to replace the tradition of offering severed heads! You finished in time!”
: Orihime’s Silk would make so much more sense as a name. Starry Canal sounds like one of those small towns in Florida.
: “You’ve seen all these before. You’ve got this, all right?”
: “This is going good. Looking forward to seeing your score.”
: And here I bet you thought we were done with pointless cutscenes added for Royal. Nope!
: “Congrats on surviving finals. Today was the last day, right? Say, would you happen to have some free time right now? There’s something I’d like to discuss - I promise it’ll just take a moment.”
: “Thanks! I know you’re exhausted, so I’ll make this quick.”
: He doesn’t make it quick.
: “It sure has heated up now that the rainy season’s passed. I just know my electric bill’s going to start climbing this month… anyway, as I’d mentioned, there’s something I’d like your opinion on.”
: “Well, I suppose that’s technically accurate. I’ve had something on my mind lately, and I want to hear your take on it. Okay, here goes…”
: “Oh - this is all hypothetical, mind you, but imagine there’s somebody for whom you have high expectations. They’re trying their absolute hardest to meet those expectations.”
: Is this about Hashino, because the answer is “Fire the entire management chain at Atlus and get someone more competent so this shit doesn’t happen again.”
: “Now, this person receives an awful lot of special treatment from people so they can perform to the best of their abilities. So, what do you think those people will do if the expectations leveled on this person aren’t met?”
: Oh, I know! I know! They’ll spend a year doing an LP dunking on their most recent game because they refused to localize the PSP version of Eternal Punishment!
: “Yep, that’s definitely true. When you work as a counselor… you always think ‘I have to help this person so their heart doesn’t break’ but… that’s easier said than done.”
: So what you’re saying is that you don’t want to unbreak their heart… or their giraffe?
: I have no idea if I used that song already but it’s about on par with the quality of Maruki’s writing. Macross was a mistake and Macross Delta was a bigger mistake.
: Realistically, if Maruki was a song, it’d be The Space Between by the Dave Matthews Band. The local radio plays that all the time when they need to fill air.
: “This world really is a callous one. No matter how much positivity or dedication a person has… just a bit of influence from their peers can easily mess with their heads.”
: “Every time I’m confronted with such a situation, I can’t help but grasp the limitations of therapy as a profession.”
: “I see - you’re approaching reality from a rational point of view… no, it could actually be that you understand reality’s unfairness, yet you’re willing to stand up for it.”
: “That may be the reason you’re at this academy now.”
: “What I meant was, if we want to truly help people stuck in a predicament like that, we need a fundamental solution.”
: And then Maruki pulls out a crystal skull and talks about how he needs to steal everyone’s hopes and dreams so he can power an alien spaceship underneath Tokyo.
: “Hmm… nothing really comes to mind at the moment. This is just a thought, but what if we got the Phantom Thieves to change our hearts?”
: “Maybe have them shift our feelings so we won’t lose to this unfair reality? It would ultimately be for the positive.”
: So what you’re saying is you want the Thousand Year Kingdom of God. Joker, shoot him.
: “Haha, good point. You’re right. Sorry, I was just thinking out loud. I seem to have lost track of the time. I should be getting back to my work. Our conversation’s been very enlightening. Thank you.”
: I wish I was joking when I say that it will not even be a day until we run into another one of these stupid cutscenes.
: “I can get back to actually sleepin’ in peace…”
: “Huh. You must have been studying pretty hard if it kept you up at night.”
: “Nah, I was up playin’ video games. Slackin’ off is just too much fun…”
: “I know, right!? I kept cleaning my room instead of studying! It might even be TOO clean now…”
: “You two are perfect exemplars of what escapism can mean.”
: sigh “And I can only imagine what the end result will be.”
: “Whatever, it’s over with now. Who cares about that anymore!? What’s real important is the Phantom Thieves’ popularity! Ain’t it amazin’!?”
: “It kinda feels like our time’s finally here!”
: “I have even heard people excitedly speculating about our next target. We will have to choose carefully.”
: “There’s no need to hurry. We should spend some time thinking it over.”
: Keep this in mind, because we’re about to witness something tomorrow that will not make any goddamn sense.
: “You sure are on top of THESE kinds of things…”
: Tonight is one of those nights where we’re forced to sleep early.
: "You remember, the one I told you about?
: I got really, really fucking confused here. I assumed that Ryuji was talking about the fireworks festival on the 18th, but no. He’s actually talking about a new cutscene added for Royal.
: “Aw, c’mon - we’re all tired from the tests an’ shit, but just gimme a sec! I completely spaced on it until now, but the festival’s tomorrow. So, you wanna go?”
: “Hell yeah! I knew you’d be down! Let’s make sure to invite Yusuke too. He’s always down to chow. …I diiiid just remember they said it might rain tomorrow, though.”
: “Eh, whatever! No way’s it gonna rain on a day like this. See ya tomorrow!”
: “How would HE know whether or not it’ll rain? Sheesh, all worked up over a silly little festival… full of food… of all kinds…”
: “Well, I suppose you deserve to enjoy yourself, but be sure to keep a low profile, all right? Anyway, let’s get some sleep. Oh - and, uh, no sleeping in, got it? I’m gonna skip breakfast for this.”
: “Mm…”
: “Wh-what? Why’re you starin’ at my face?”
: “Ryuji - I have a favor to ask.”
: “A favor? Sure, you need some money for food or somethi-”
: “Not this time. I’ve actually been mulling over a new battle tactic for a while now… and I’d like you to lend a hand in bringing my idea to fruition.”
: “Ooh, a new move… that sounds badass! I totally want in!”
: “Well, it’s merely a rough idea at this point, but…”
: As it turns out, you actually can view the Showtime attacks when you unlock them in the Thieves Den - only they’re pre-rendered and in some cases have video glitches (Ann and Morgana’s has a mouse cursor visible). Time to go borrow some footage.
: Ryuji and Yusuke’s Showtime is called “Inglorious Beefbowls” in the US version and “That Man Did This For A Beef Bowl” in Japanese. The Japanese title is a reference to the film “Violent Cop” which is basically Dirty Harry if it starred Takeshi Kitano (aka Beat Takeshi).
: The US title makes no sense because the scene here is a direct reference to a scene in Violent Cop.
: I’ve only seen this scene in English. Ryuji sits down and goes “I’ll have… the usual.”
: In English, Yusuke’s VA goes “I’ve put my soul… into this bowl!”
: Anzu? What the hell are you doing here, get back in the Persona deck!
: I wonder if the magic wishing star can fix the fact that Ryuji is trying to fire a pump-action shotgun with one hand.
: Yusuke somehow manages to land a hit directly on the grenade, which is not how grenades work.
: This, by the way, is what we call ludonarrative dissonance because we all know that Anzu would’ve oneshotted Ryuji with Garudyne.
: I think you should have one with Joker instead. The good news is that all of our current party members now have a chance to proc a Showtime if they’re baton passed to.
: “Wasn’t that, like… way more detailed than some rough idea?”
: “Ha- I don’t deserve such praise… I would merely prefer to add a splash of beauty to an otherwise barbaric battlefield, so to speak.”
: “Sick! So, all we gotta do now is see how the Star reacts to your idea, right?”
: “We should consult Jose about this soon. However, I can feel my appetite growing after describing my idea…”
: “…Same here.”
: “It’s as if we’re walking around in an enormous sauna…”
: I should point out that not only is Yusuke wearing long sleeves, there’s a scene in Strikers where he goes to the beach wearing a jacket. In August.
: “Whose bright idea was it to come here?”
: “Yours…”
: “A TV crew, eh…?”
: “We should grab our kebabs and get outta here.”
: Hey, is she talking about us?
: “What the -”
: “What do we do, Akira?”
: “Good point. We’ll look even more suspicious if we panic now.”
: “They got us!”
: “Aw, hell… okay, I’m gonna ham it up and make some real cringey comments so they can’t use any of the footage.”
: To get an idea, Ryuji’s Japanese VA starts doing this sort of weird old man voice.
: Joker starts doing his real weird John Persona thing. “Yes. I am John Persona. I enjoy meat and meat by-products. Meat is an important part of every meal and a well-balanced breakfast.”
: “Uh… I’d say that we’re really lovers of fruit! Oh, and sweets! Sweets are just to DIE for!”
: “Phew, that was too close…”
: “That was truly cringeworthy, but are you certain they won’t air any of it?”
: “I’m pretty certain she thought that was a broadcast disaster. We oughta be okay.”
: Joker pulls out his air horn through reflex alone.
: “Oh, right! My kebab!”
: “Standing around in this sweltering heat was rather trying.”
: “And almost all the good stuff was already sold out…”
: “I didn’t even eat breakfast this morning. I’m starting to get lightheaded…”
: This reminds me of this time I went to an “Asian Festival” and the only food there was American-style Chinese food.
: “Even still, an occasion like this seems to make everything taste delicious… how mysterious.”
: I looked it up because I was wondering if kebabs are uncommon in Japan, and no, they’re apparently very popular in Tokyo and have restaurants all over the place that serve them.
: What I’m saying is that Joker could probably find one in Shibuya without having to come out to… wherever this is.
: “B-But look, Akira - at least we have shaved ice!”
: “Welp, we came all the way out here, so we might as well go check that thing out.”
: “What thing?”
: “I heard they’re building some kinda huge-ass stadium or somethin’ nearby. Wait, was that what it was?”
: “You don’t know what you’re talking about, do you?”
: I know that this is another cutscene that was probably written as a confidant event but that Atlus felt the need to shoehorn in for some reason.
: “A stadium… well, such buildings often have intriguing architecture - I’d love to see it for personal reference.”
: “Yeah? Then c’mon, let’s go.”
: So okay, what was the point of that cutscene? Can anyone tell me what that cutscene did to advance the plot?
: “They barely even started?”
: “We seem to be premature speculators.”
: "I guess this is what people call ‘jumpin’ the gum.’ "
: “Jumping the gun.”
: You would think that Ryuji’s last line would have him saying “jumpin’ the gum” in English to go with the whole “He’s not very good at English” bit. He says it in Japanese, and Morgana corrects him in Japanese.
: I feel like it’s just overdoing the whole “Haha Ryuji is dumb” thing to a level that it didn’t really need to go to.
: “There ain’t nothin’ to do here - you wanna go grab a bite somewhere?”
: “Sorry, I’m considering picking up more art supplies. I have a summer assignment to work on.”
: “…Also, the summer festival drained all my coffers. Even if I did grab a bite, all I could order would be water and a hot towel.”
: “Ah… in that case, we probably oughta just call it quits for today.”
: Okay, are you ready for this cutscene to go from zero to negative sixty in record time?
: Kasumi is rapidly turning into this game’s Poochie. "Anytime Kasumi’s not on screen, someone should be asking ‘Where’s Kasumi?’ "
: She’s not in Strikers not because Strikers was made separately from Royal but because she and Maruki are both aliens and died on their way back to their home planet.
: “Don’t you think she’s acting strange? You know, she did mention something about a meet earlier.”
: “Uh, ain’t you guys headed home?”
: Run, Yusuke! Save yourself!
: “Huh? Welp, see ya, then.”
: “Yes, catch you later.”
: Am I the only one who thinks Kasumi’s neck is kind of weirdly long?
: “Y-Yes. Did you come to see the stadium too?”
: “Same here. I needed to give myself a pep talk.”
: With the plot? Yeah, and Atlus could’ve just fixed it instead of doing… whatever this is.
: “Sometimes, when things get me down, I come here. Although, that doesn’t really answer your question, does it?”
: “I know this may get in the way of your plans, but would you be willing to join me for lunch?”
: “I’m always like this after a meet. In all honesty, I’d like to keep going… but any more will end up harming my performance.”
: “Simply put? It was a disaster. I’ve been feeling like I’m getting back into the natural flow of things, thanks to you, Kurusu-senpai… but when the moment of truth arrived, my body still wouldn’t move the way that I wanted it to…”
: “Yes, I’ve really hit a wall with this. Something similar happened to me in middle school - but back then, I had someone by my side that kept me going…”
: You probably don’t remember (because holy shit I looked back at my first couple of updates and what the shit was I even thinking) but we actually already heard about this from someone else.
: “I promised her we’d take the gold for our routines across the world… but I can’t stop worrying about my lack of improvement lately.”
: “I’ve really been throwing myself into practice, but I wonder if even that won’t be enough…”
: “Kurusu-senpai…”
: “You just keep on rescuing me, don’t you?”
: “Okay! No more brooding! There are still meets left this year. I’m going to start from scratch and train as hard as I can. Thank you so much for listening to all that!”
: “Now I feel like I’ve been recharged, mind, body, and spirit- … well, at least my mind and spirit are recharged!”
: “The best way to stave off hunger is with some vigorous activity! I’m going to jog home - take care!”
: After the fact, I thought about it a little bit and I think I can explain why that entire cutscene exists. I think what’s happening is that it’s the writers trying to address the issue of Makoto kind of taking over everything to the point of all the other party members existing solely to agree with her.
: I guess they figured that if they gave the other party members more screen time, people would get so bored they’d stop paying attention.
: I think that’s the only good part of that entire cutscene - even the writers acknowledged that Mishima is kind of unlikable.
: “Are you kidding me…? I hope Lady Ann and the others haven’t found out…”
: There’s also an optional IM conversation you can miss if you don’t go through your IMs.
: I think we all know that if Joker wasn’t busy with confidants he’d take Yusuke out to a very expensive dinner.
: “Sorry I couldn’t catch it for you. I always forget how short my arms are as a cat…”
: Tonight, we’re going to get the single biggest social stat boost we’ve ever gotten.
: First, we grip and sip for two points in knowledge. Ordinarily, this would be grounds for a Luck Reading for the extra point… but we’re using that for something else.
: Next, we make a stop at the DVD store to pick up a bootleg of The Walking Dead, which I imagine was made in Turkey and stars some random middle-aged guy the directors picked out of a bar.
: And NOW we do our Luck Reading… for Charm. Why Charm, you ask?
: We are going to watch a godawful romance movie.
: In just this one night, with the bonus from Craft of Cinema, we get ten points to charm.
: “I guess girls like me want that perfect, romantic kind of love you see in the movies.”
: giggle “Thanks for going along with it. Now that I think about it, that movie wasn’t geared toward guys at all, huh? But I’m glad you came with me! You’re such a good friend!”
: Is there a term for being friendzoned by someone you never intended to date anyway?
: I was kind of hesitant about doing the 18th in this update because this is where the big long exposition dump was in the base game.
: Ann ignoring the fact that Joker is not likely to be able to see the fireworks without his glasses on. Then again, it would’ve been great if at the last boss they had a cutscene where the boss breaks Joker’s glasses and he’s just like “You do realize I just wear those for looks, right? They’re not even prescription.”
: Joker stands up from his meal. “Excuse me, I think the cat needs a bath. A very long, very cold bath.”
: “Oh yeah, there’s a fireworks festival today… if you’re going, be careful. Those things get insanely crowded.”
: “It’d be nice to watch the fireworks with the chief someday. We could watch them right here at Leblanc… actually, no we couldn’t.”
: “Right when we were about to leave too… who is it?”
: Translation: We’ll be finding out who the next target is by the end of today.
: “What could he mean by an insane group…? Hm… let’s think about this after we get back. We don’t have much time, so let’s get going.”
: That’s right, our next target is the Insane Clown Posse.
: “The holiday means it’s as crowded on here as it is for morning rush hour…”
: “Wait, so all these people are going to the fireworks festival!? Huh… this should be fun…”
: The scene transition thing on the subway changes for certain holidays.
: “I feel like I’m being baked…”
: “Those girls are way too late…”
: “It must be taking time for them to put on the yukata. Why aren’t you two wearing one?”
: “I don’t got clothes like yukata. But man, you look way too normal in that.”
: “I Don’t Gotta Yukata”, the hit Italian-Japanese comedy starring Mamamia Amamiya.
: “Ah, by the way… the exams…”
: “I bet you got a big fat F on them.”
: “Shuddup! We- we don’t know that yet!”
: “Are we… getting hit on!?”
: I’d like to imagine Joker handing Yusuke an air horn, only to have Yusuke pull a belt of them out from underneath his yukata.
: “Waitin’ around’s a pain, so can we just go with these chicks?”
: “We’ll both apologize to the others later!”
: “How could you!?”
: “Uh, well… that’s…”
: “You know, Yusuke’s such a pretty boy, but he is really missing out because of what he says.”
: “I guess, but he’s more likeable since he stays true to his ideals. Definitely more than somebody I know.”
: “I heard that Ryuji’s pretty much failed his exams.”
: “Oh?”
: “Mona, you little-”
: “Hey, it’s gonna get crowded if we don’t get going.”
: “Agreed.”
: Man, that’s a QUALITY shot of Ann. Where’d her nose go?
: Oh man, I lined those up PERFECTLY. No idea how I did that.
: I don’t understand this shot at all. It’s not like anything was visible but a bit of her leg.
: There’s a lot that implies that if you don’t wind up dating Ann, she dates Ryuji instead.
: Pictured - two couples and the third wheel.
: Oh look, it’s Haru. What’s she doing being escorted into a limo?
: “I guess everyone had the same idea… what’s up?”
: “Mm, I think I just saw someone I know…”
: “You mean the girl in that black car?”
: Girl in the Black Car sounds like the title Sierra would’ve used for an award bait ending song if Jim Walls had the opportunity to make Police Quest IV.
: “Well, she’s got a ride… time to show your skills, Mona! We need you as a car!”
: “It’s not possible in the real world!”
: “We made such a commotion with the public, and this is what we get? Laaaame. Aren’t heroes that lurk in the shadows boring?”
: “I wanna change the world with a loud bang, like a huge firework! …Then again, we aren’t gonna find someone bigger than Kaneshiro that easily.”
: If I didn’t have standards I would put that one Katy Perry song here, but I have standards.
: “The rain is letting up. Though it’s regrettable, we should go our separate ways for today.”
: “Yeah. Let’s go home.”
: “I see. In that case, I have ways of making you talk.”
: It’s fine, Sae will just drug him and have him brought to a black site for interrogation.
: “Huh? What’s that supposed to-”
: “Thanks for the drink.”
: “H-Hey! We’re not done here yet!”
: “It’s nothing. It’s past closing time. Clean up the place.”
: And here’s our next opponent, a blatant reference to Anonymous.
: “The Phantom Thieves again…?”
: “Justice, huh?”
: This is a direct reference to a slogan that pre-dates Anonymous as a “hacktivist group”, and was used on 2008-era 4chan when they’d raid people.
: The original being “We are Anonymous. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us.”
: Anyway, this entire thing feels like a painfully out of touch writer trying to “connect with kids these days”
: “I don’t know the details, but there’s no doubt that they were provoked by the Phantom Thieves. Whether it’s a sense of rivalry or a simple attention grab given the recent trends, I cannot say…”
: “Regardless, it’s quite a nuisance.”
: Metal Gear?!
: “Both Medjed and the Phantom Thieves are nothing more than groups that uphold an egoistic justice.”
: “What a stupid thing they’re getting riled up on… Phantom Thieves, huh? What in the world are they? You know about them?”
: This feels like when I was a kid and Pokemon became a thing, and you had all these adults asking “Pokemons? What’re those? I don’t get it.”
: "What are they stealing though? I’m still having trouble getting that part… well, it’s about time I go home. Make sure you lock the place up. Also, about the stuff in the fridge - "
: “…Well, I guess it’s fine. Just don’t use too much of it.”
: Shut up, Makoto!
: God I hate these over-long IM things where they just restate the same thing like thirty times.
: “A world-class target, huh? If we can change Medjed’s heart, it’ll most definitely affect Mementos.”
: Before we end the day, there’s another optional IM conversation. I’m not sure if this existed in the base game or not.
: This is kind of a dumb ongoing joke where every event Yusuke attends gets rained out.
: We have to craft tonight for proficiency points. I wound up getting the extra point, and then…
: We weren’t supposed to rank up until the 21st. Higher proficiency also means more chalk dodges - I believe at proficiency 4 you’re more likely than not to dodge it.
: This means we’ll have a few extra nights near the end of September, which is good because I have a lot of stuff I need to show.
: Next time, we’ll get our exam results, continue to be under budget and ahead of schedule on social stats, and still be nowhere near the next dungeon.
Joker starts quoting the entire Superman/Clark Kent speech from Kill Bill Vol. 2 verbatim, only in first person. “Akira Kurusu is my critique of humanity.”
Anime girls stopped having noses years ago. Noses are unnecessary for moe.
“Did…did you actually just say ‘Ve have vays off makink you talk’?”
John Persona likes the shade. He likes to throw the shade.
Also the whole talk with Kasumi and all her portraits there are pretty much everything that distracts and bothers me about this art style they’re using. Shading everything so people’s skin tone is darker around their mouths makes me feel like no one’s washing their face, and I’m also getting distracted by the fact her forehead looks like it’s in direct light and her neck is slinking into the shadows.
Summary
: I think what the writers for this game didn’t realize is that Anonymous wasn’t really a “hacktivist” group at first. They also weren’t, for the most part, actually hackers.
: What’s funny is that almost every time the real Anonymous tried something like that, they wound up being wrong.
: They tried it in 2014 after the murder of Michael Brown, in an attempt to ‘dox’ the officer involved. What they wound up leaking was the name of an unrelated officer in another town.
: I forgot that I mentioned once already that you can’t get the top score unless you already have your knowledge maxed out and answer every question correctly.
: We were not supposed to rank up in charm until the end of the month.
: “Hey, it’s not my fault my scores suck, right?”
: “You don’t gotta throw the truth right in my face like that… anyways, there’s somethin’ more important here! Mishima…”
: “You wanted to ask me something about the internet, right?”
: “Yup. I’m gonna be straight with you here - do you know who Medjed is?”
: “You weren’t kidding about being direct. Well, I suppose the news about Medjed and the Phantom Thieves has caused quite the commotion… they started out as hackers of justice, but now they only look out for their own self-interests.”
: This is more or less how the real Anonymous operated, except they just kind of got progressively dumber as time went on and people started co–opting the name.
: I hadn’t read much about their recent exploits, but one of the last “hacks” they made news for was “hacking” NASA trying to prove… I dunno, some conspiracy bullshit. What they got was a bunch of material that was already publicly accessible.
: “…That’s all I know. They were the group I texted Kurusu about yesterday.”
: “I see…”
: “Nobody’s sure who actually belongs to Medjed. Well, it looks like things’ll be exciting this summer. It’ll be the Phantom Thieves’ world debut, no?”
: “Dude…”
: “Don’t worry, I’ll be rooting for the Phantom Thieves. I’ll get the forum mobilized as well. Now if we’re done talking here, I really must be going. I’ll see you guys later.”
: “So that was fruitless…”
: “Wonder if anyone else got any info.”
: “No luck…”
: “Medjed, hm? It seems like we won’t be able to deal with them by ourselves.”
: “Settle down! We’ve had many strange incidents: the psychotic breakdowns, students being dragged into crime rings… hence, Principal Kobayakawa has instructed all teachers to caution the student body.”
: “This is inconvenient for us too, you know? Having to find things to warn you about so suddenly…”
: There’s an interesting fact I didn’t know about this character here, mostly because I can’t play the PSP version of Eternal Punishment: her father’s Japanese voiceactor is the same guy who did Baofu in EP PSP.
: The chalk drawing of Akechi has been replaced with the John Persona logo.
: Regrettably, we have to spend the afternoon with Makoto.
: “Both myself and Akira-kun here saw you there. Based on where you were heading, we assume you’re working at a store called the After School Salon. How is it, working there?”
: “Hm. So you’re sure nothing strange is going on?”
: “I see… beyond that though, why are you working there? How’s your financial situation?”
: “O-Oh, I see…”
: What answer was she expecting? Does anyone work for any reason that doesn’t involve payment?
: “Mega… pamper?”
: And then that one guy with the diaper from the Yakuza substories in 6 and 7 bursts through the wall. “You rang?”
: Joker: “Ma’am, under the Geneva Convention the only things I am required to tell you are my name, rank, and that I am not and have never been horny.”
: “Right. It was nothing more than an errand I asked him to accompany me on. At any rate, don’t mind him. As for you… I don’t plan on telling anyone.”
: “I was just worried you were getting wrapped up in some shady business, so I asked him here for support.”
: “Huh? You know Buchimaru-kun…?”
: “Well, it was given to me when I was still in elementary school… I’d like to buy a new one, but they’ve stopped selling Buchimaru-kun merchandise.”
: “Um… isn’t that a full circle?”
: They call her Makoto because when you see her you’ll turn 360 degrees and walk away.
: “O-oh, um… okay. Wait, he’s not my boyfriend.”
: “She was all over the place… honestly though, I’m in shock. She thought I was a robot…”
: We all know that the correct answer is the bottom one, and that Joker looks her right in the eye and goes “Beep boop, I am Makoto, I am the smart girl. I run on having too much time on screen.”
: “Yes. That’s why you’re helping me. You know, I believe what Takao-san said about me is how others think as well. I thought I had changed after the incident with Kaneshiro, but perhaps it wasn’t enough…”
: “That aside, it was almost inspiring to meet someone so distinct from myself. I’m going to try to look at things a little differently from now on. And, well… I think that will help me break out of my shell.”
: “I’ll be interested to speak with Takao-san some more now that I have her contact information. Perhaps I can correct her misconceptions about you… and as always, I’ll let you know if anything important happens. Well, see you later.”
: “I got a message from Takao-san earlier. She turned out to be quite a fan of Buchimaru-kun. It was crazy to see a picture of her entire collection. She even has a bunch of Buchimaru-kun emoticons!”
: It’s very strange to me that a Japanese teenager would be using the phrase “emoticon” in 2016. I’m pretty sure by that point, “emoji” had become the internationally-used term for those.
: “Huh…? Yeah, I guess you’re right. I didn’t expect to bond over something like this, though. I’m pretty shocked, to be honest… though I’m still a little worried about that store she works at.”
: “I’ll try a little harder to get through to her about it. I might come to you for more advice later. For now, I’ll let you go. Talk to you later.”
: Joker responds with “Yes, you totally should. In fact, come to Leblanc and let’s talk it out over iced coffees and text Makoto with everything we learn.”
: There’s a missable (and largely pointless) reward you can get from Sojiro for getting a high score on exams.
: “Oh? You have a good look on your face. You can have this. Look at your face with it.”
: The Dandy Mirror gives you the Counterstrike ability when equipped, which gives you a 15% chance to counter physical attacks. It doesn’t stack with the other counter skills and is garbage when things like Null Phys exist.
: “You actually are pretty smart, huh. You showed me. Studying is good and all, but men need to keep up their looks too. Looking clean is important.”
: Nobody tell that to the Magic the Gathering crowd. Seriously, I used to be able to smell where the MtG tables were at gaming cons.
: “It’s one bad thing after another with this company. Hmm, I wonder if they’re cursed or something.”
: We’re spending tonight with Chihaya, because now that Kawakami is done she’s the next priority.
: “Oh, you needn’t mind him. That’s just my apprentice. If anything, you can think of him as a human-sized stuffed animal. I mean, look how fluffy his hair is.”
: “I take that to mean something else has happened with your job?”
: “In that case, let’s ask the tarot! Show us the truth, O divine power…”
: “Yes… I’ve seen everything. Hm, the cards have appeared in reverse. In other words, it seems as though your business is doomed to failure.”
: “I’m sorry… but in this case, it appears your fate is inescapable.”
: “What are your thoughts? Were you even listening? What can we do to help this woman who is so oppressed by the savagery of a male-dominated work environment?”
: “Look, we’re going to need to smash capitalism. Get me the biggest guillotine you can find.”
: “What? It’s a little idealistic to expect that will actually work… incidentally, what would you say if you wanted to encourage her?”
: The guide told me to pick the second one, but it’s not worth any points anyway. Besides, we couldn’t pick that last one or this would just be Gurren Lagann.
: “Don’t be so irresponsible! That’s simply not an option! How can you expect her to overturn that which is inescapable!?”
: “H-Huh…? …You’re far too irresponsible, Kurusu-san! Her misfortune has already been made clear! The cards will surely back me up on that…”
: “I-It seems the sequence of cards has changed… her financial future is now appearing as extremely successful! What did you do? Are you… are you psychic? Did you use your powers to change the order of the cards!?”
: “My divine power is capable of sending people like you down to the depths of hell, you know! Yes… that has to be it. That’s the only way this could happen… fate cannot be changed. Fate is absolute… that is how it must be.”
: “That may not be such a bad idea… but if that possibility were the truth, how would I keep my Holy Stone business intact?”
: “…A-Anyway! You’ve change the flow of destiny twice now, both times coming before my very eyes… it seems this verification process is turning out to be much more meaningful than I expected!”
: “So I’m going to get right to my question! You’re currently standing right in front of your house, correct!?”
: “See, that’s exactly what my reading told me! Fate is absolute after all! If everyone could reverse their fate as easily as flipping a table, life would be easy!”
: I’m getting horrible flashbacks to Umineko no Naku Koro Ni. “Turn the chessboard around! Prove the existence of cake! You can’t because cake is magic!”
: “This… this is why I believe I need to conduct these verifications with you. So please promise me you’ll stop by my booth again! Okay, I’ll talk to you later.”
: “To think you would relax under such circumstances. Either you’re quite bold… or quite foolish.”
: “One with an ‘unseen’ form, hm? It seems you’ve been targeted by troublesome company.”
: chuckle “I’ve been enjoying this endless dispute over ‘justice’. However, it will soon come to an end - and through the appearance of an unexpected force, of all things. Engaging with formidable enemies is also part of your rehabilitation. I ask that you overcome this.”
: “After all, you must hone your powers… and become a magnificent thief…”
: The next couple of days are going to be almost pure cutscene - in fact, in the base game, you’d go through the next few days with zero input of your own.
: However, this part is probably my favorite out of the entire game - mostly because it’s about as close as Persona 5 gets to being Persona 4.
: Strikers also goes for a tone much more similar to this part than to the rest of P5. I’d probably enjoy it if the gameplay wasn’t shit.
: “I didn’t think Medjed would pounce on the Phantom Thieves. Interesting things keep happening this year. The influence of John Persona knows no bounds… I underestimated it, honestly.”
: “I wonder what the public thinks of this. Are they entertained? Or perhaps inconvenienced?”
: “Entertained, huh… a luxury for the uninvolved. I know they mean no ill intent. So this is what the public thinks… whoops, I don’t have time for a conversation. My attendance has been poor due to interviews lately.”
: There’s this sort of menacing theme that plays during cutscenes with the palace bosses that plays here, and I don’t know what it’s called.
: Now, there’s a reason they picked the name “Alibaba” (it’s a kanji pun of sorts on their actual name) but I have to wonder if it was meant to be a reference to Baofu, as Baofu spends the entirety of Innocent Sin and Eternal Punishment pretending to be Taiwanese.
: “Hm? You can’t reply back? I don’t know what this is all about, but we should probably let everyone know about this.”
: “Seems so…”
: “How were we found out?”
: “He may have traced our chat log…”
: “How careless of us…”
: “But how would he have known all these details with just that?”
: “Do you think that there is another cause?”
: “Yeah. I’m not sure why, but that’s the feeling I get.”
: “Hey, is it that easy to look at someone else’s chat log?”
: I mean, we’ve technically been doing that the entire time, so…
: “I don’t know much about it myself, but… it’s probably not impossible, I think?”
: “How’s it done?”
: “Maybe they extracted our phones’ data?”
: “Why’s Akira getting an error when he tries to reply?”
: “Perhaps the receiving end doesn’t exist?”
: “That’s possible?”
: “Don’t ask me everything. I told you that I don’t know much about it.”
: Can they hack souls? Are they… Soul Hackers?
: “I see. I don’t really get it.”
: “Then, is this person Medjed?”
: “I doubt it, considering he says he wants to ‘deal’ with them. That is, only if we take his words for face value.”
: “True…”
: “Hey, wouldn’t it be great if we got this guy on our side?”
: “But we know nothing about his identity at all. We can’t trust him.”
: “I don’t think it’s a bad deal though…”
: “Even if Alibaba turns out to be a criminal? I am not helping anyone of that sort.”
: “Oh, right. That wouldn’t be good…”
: "The ‘I’ve prepared the necessary tool’ part makes no sense either.
: “He knows an awful lot for it to be a prank.”
: “If he knows who we are, won’t we get caught?”
: “No. If he wanted to report us, I think he would’ve done it already.”
: “He must have some sort of objective of his own. He did offer us a deal, after all. I’m certain he’ll contact us again.”
: “There’s no telling when he’ll do so, though… it’d be best if we stay together. If something happens, we can act at once.”
: “Yeah. So, somewhere we can wait and hide for long hours…”
: “Good evening. We were thinking about putting together plans for our summer.”
: “Hm? Is that a new face I see?”
: “It’s nice to meet you. My name is Makoto Niijima. I hope we’re not being a bother.”
: “She’s our student council president.”
: “Niijima…?”
: “Is something wrong?”
: “…Nah, it’s nothing. A student council president, eh? I’m stunned. I hope he’s not causing you too much trouble. I’m Sojiro Sakura, but everyone just calls me Boss.”
: That’s… not entirely accurate. The Japanese voiceactors pretty clearly call him “Master”.
: “This old man’ll get going and leave you kids be. All right, the store’s all yours.”
: “Oh, come on! It’s in English!”
: “Let me see…”
: “The Phantom Thieves remain silent at our question. This proves that we are just. People of Japan, wake up. You must not worship the Phantom Thieves.”
: “What!? That’s bullshit!”
: “Keep listening.”
: “We will discipline any who worship them. The punishment is the confiscation of possessions. We are Medjed. We are unseen. We will eliminate evil.”
: “…That’s what it says.”
: “What does that all mean!?”
: Means that boy needs therapy.
: “They’re saying that they’ll target sympathizers of the Phantom Thieves.”
: In reality, I don’t think Anonymous ever caused much in the way of actual financial damages - most of the numbers cited by companies like Paypal (which they took down for an hour at one point) were either theoretical or money they spent on security consultants. This came up during a criminal trial of an Anonymous member.
: “Why the hell are we being singled out?”
: “Perhaps all they care about is labeling the Phantom Thieves as crooks. That all this wouldn’t have happened had the Phantom Thieves not existed.”
: “That’s complete bullshit.”
: “Talk about a troublesome organization that we’ve been targeted by…”
: “Isn’t there anything we can do?”
: Given how dumb some of the people operating under the Anonymous umbrella were, you could probably just put a text file called “JOHN_PERSONA_REAL_IDENTITY.txt” somewhere and they’d think they struck gold.
: “It’s certain we can’t do anything about this on our own…”
: I mean, it did have that red seal on the back… this must be the point where Joker canonically gets invited to Smash.
: On a side note, I wish I had a clean version of that video in Japanese because FUCK the English voices for this game they’re fucking godawful.
: “It’s rare for you to get something like this.”
: “Anything else in there!? Who’s this from anyway?”
: “There’s no stamp on it. Someone must’ve directly dropped it into the mailbox here.”
: “Could it have been Alibaba?”
: “That reminds me, he did mention something about preparing the ‘necessary tool’… don’t tell me… is this what he was talking about!?”
: “What the hell’s goin’ on here?”
: “All we can do at the moment is wait for Alibaba’s orders. Let’s brace ourselves and stand by… in case anything comes up.”
: “Oh dear…”
: “He can look forward to whatever he wants, but we have no means of striking back against Medjed. We’re gonna be in deep trouble if we don’t do something…”
: This would be another bedcat night in the base game, but instead we get to watch our bootleg of The Walking Dead. I wonder if it sucks less than the real thing.
: “Ugh, talk about a dead man walking. I saw dogs in there too, but… not a single cat. Phew, what a scary world… I wouldn’t want anything to do with that.”
: 5 points to Guts. We’ll be levelling Guts up tomorrow night.
: I didn’t know Chris Redfield posted on the Phan-site. “Dear Phantom Thieves, Leon refuses to help me continue the Redfield bloodline can you please make him and Claire get together?”
: Good morning, you uncanny-looking anime giraffe.
: “Every day is so hot. I empty my water bottle so fast… by the way, summer break is coming up. Could I ask what your plans are, Senpai?”
: “Oh, so you’re not the type to make plans in advance, I see! Then maybe we’ll have a chance to practice some more! I’ll be sure to give you proper instruction! Just let me know whenever you’re available, Senpai!”
: “Oh, the train is here. Let’s get going then!”
: “So it really was from this guy…”
: “Tell him. We need the name of the target.”
: “So he threatened you, then just took off!? And Sakura…? I feel like I’ve heard that name before… in any case, we should let everyone know about this.”
: " ‘Futaba Sakura’?"
: “Wasn’t Sakura…”
: “It’s Boss’s last name!”
: “Does he have any family?”
: “Does he?”
: “For reals!? How laid-back are you!? Wouldn’t you normally be introduced at least? I mean, you ARE living at his place.”
: Technically, we’re not. Sojiro has a house up the street from Leblanc - I think I showed it off in an earlier update, but we’ll see it again soon.
: “Well, his situation does make things more difficult…”
: “Perhaps he thinks that the name alone is enough.”
: “That makes sense.”
: “I believe it’s adequate for us to think that this is the doing of someone close by.”
: I mean, unless it’s like the AI girl in Strikers who can use bitcoin magic to order things online. I just cleared the first palace boss in Strikers. It took me 25 minutes.
: “I see.”
: “I don’t know how Alibaba got a hold of Akira-kun’s smartphone information. However, since he’s ordering us through chat, I do feel as though he’s taunting us.”
: “You mean, this might just be a prank?”
: “I mean, look at his demands. Pay me if you don’t want me to leak who you really are - that I’d understand. But he’s telling us to steal someone’s heart without explaning why.”
: “So we’re being tested?”
: “Regardless, I think we should ask Boss about Futaba Sakura once.”
: “That’s probably for the best. There’s nothing else we can do at the moment, and Chief might have an idea on what this is about too.”
: I don’t know why Morgana calls him “Chief” and everyone else calls him “Boss”. I didn’t really pay attention to see if they use the same term in Japanese or not.
: “I’ll check the school’s roster just in case.”
: Keep this in mind for about… oh, two seconds from now.
: “Why do you know about that?”
: “It’s got nothing to do with you. I’m going home. Make sure you lock up the place.”
: “Looks like it’s a hit.”
: More crafting tonight. We have a shitload of lockpicks so I make some useless garbage. Do we get the extra point? Hell yes we do.
: “Tomrorow’s the end of the first semester, but we still got all this lame shit comin’ up…”
: “If you don’t take care of all this ‘lame shit’ you can kiss your summer vacation goodbye.”
: “Oh yeah, about this Futaba Sakura girl… if she’s related to Boss, think people livin’ nearby would know about her?”
: “That’s some keen intuition coming from you, Ryuji. You should have made use of that on your exams.”
: “Ugh, I never wanna think about exams ever again… anyway, askin’ around in your neighborhood might be the fastest way to figure this shit out. Then again, I doubt it’ll be that easy. It never is…”
: “There’s an urgent assembly on Monday. We’ll be taking attendance. There’s been an unusual number of strange incidents this year. Don’t do anything stupid over break.”
: “Got it? Don’t go someplace shady like the red-light district, and don’t go to the beach after dark.”
: I’m tempted to just re-write Ushimaru’s lines in Hank Hill’s accent because we all know he’s just Anime Hank Hill.
: “I wanna go to the beach. I wanna jump in some cold water… seems like we won’t be having fun on our summer break for a while…”
: There’s another stupid info-gathering thing here and I’m going to skip all but two pieces of it.
: This guy SHOULD know who Futaba is, because she sold him something a few months back. Remember the video game console we bought? That was Futaba’s.
: “The chief buys a lot of food, far more than enough for one person living alone. Let’s check out all the shops where you can buy food!”
: And so we do, and it is a complete waste of time.
: “So you’re the one who tipped him off about Futaba. You really shouldn’t have done that. I have no intention of talking to you about Wakaba.”
: Assuming you’re into a certain corner of Japanese internet culture, you’d know what Futaba’s name is referencing as soon as you saw this line.
: Futaba is named after Futaba Channel, also known as 2chan. That’s the imageboard, not the text website. Wakaba is the code base that powers 2chan.
: Futaba Channel was what moot modeled 4chan after - I think he even used some of the Wakaba code to do it. Their beige-and-pink style sheet (seen above) is still available on 4chan today under the name “Futaba”.
: Also I’m really, really hoping that >548084196 is right. Just imagine Innocent Sin with a coherent plot and a good writer.
: “Tipped off…? What are you talking about? Back to the matter at hand… your parental authority will have to be suspended. I take it you’re okay with that outcome?”
: “What!?”
: “Considering the state of your daughter and your family overall, there are no points in your favor. Would you like to take this to domestic court? Our chances of victory are roughly 99.9% though.”
: Cognitive Psience. God that word sounds dumb.
: “Tch… fine… you win.”
: “Thank you. I will contact you at a later date.”
: “I doubt you’ll find anything you want to hear though.”
: “That’s fine. It will be up to us to decide whether the information you give us is useful or not. Next time I come here, it will just be for a nice cup of coffee.”
: “That woman is real good at pissing people off… what’s with that look? You got something to say?”
: “This doesn’t involve you.”
: “That’s enough! Just behave yourself and keep going to school if you don’t want me to throw you out of here. You got that? Lock the store up.”
: “Moreso, our conjecture that Alibaba is connected to Leblanc seems to have a pretty solid foundation. Oh, and didn’t they mention ‘cognitive’ something?”
: “…I wonder what the Chief is hiding. We can’t really presshim on the subject though, especially after he mentioned throwing you out.”
: “She said ‘abuse’… would the chief really do that? It’s gotta be some kind of mistake, right?”
: We spend the night finishing our bootleg of The Walking Dead.
: We remain on schedule for stat gains, and now we have enough to start Iwai’s confidant. Next time, we’ll eat sushi, get complained at by Akechi, and see a spooky ghost. We’ll also finally learn, in one day, who Futaba Sakura is and what her deal is.
I am thou, thou art I…
Thou has turned a vow into a blood oath
Thy MOOSE shall become the wings of SQVIRREL
and break the Saturday morning of thy cartoon block,
Thou has awakened to the ultimate secret of BULLWINKLE, granting thee infinite power…
Nah, you want to see something fucking horrifying?
I have mildly wondered at times just how much hair Ann has that it poofs out so much.
Also, I’m not bringing this up just because a bunch of teenagers don’t know how to find Anonymous, I’m bringing this up because this is the fourth time our heroes just kind of mull around until the plot finds them.
Click Here for Update 44
: “Yeah, she was going on about domestic abuse and taking the case to court and stuff…”
: “…”
: “What’s up?”
: “… It’s nothing. So to summarize what you told us, Futaba is Boss’s daughter, and he’s abusing her? I don’t know her very well… is he really the kind of person who would do that?”
: Nah, Atlus already did the whole “One of your social links was secretly the villain the entire time” thing in Persona 4. Their writers are better than - actually, who the fuck am I kidding no they’re not.
: “I would like to believe so as well, but we don’t have any conclusive evidence, do we?”
: “Is it Alibaba!?”
: “What a selfish person.”
: “Well, he does have information on us…”
: “Anyways, this Futaba he’s talking about have a Palace? If so, we’ll need keywords to get in. Try messaging him about 'em.”
: I didn’t realize it, but this is another slip (which I don’t think was intentional, unlike the one with Akechi) on Hashino’s part. Why would they need to meet Alibaba at all?
: “He can’t go out?”
: “Huh…? Did he just shut the whole operation down?”
: “This doesn’t make any sense… not only can Alibaba not go out, but he won’t let us meet Futaba either?”
: “Well, it’s none of our business now. We can’t contact him anymore.”
: “But… what do we do about Medjed? We won’t be able to get Alibaba to help us with them now.”
: “Maybe they were just prankin’ us. They made that huge declaration, but they ain’t done nothing since. I bet we got 'em freaked out.”
: “You mean they backed out because they’re afraid we’ll change their hearts?”
: “Yup. And now it’d just make 'em look lame if they came out and apologized!”
: “But-”
: “I guess with Alibaba and Medjed outta the picture, can we just say this case is closed?”
: “…You do have a point. I guess it is safe for us to relax a little.”
: I’m kind of surprised it was only $1500, given that the entire briefcase was plated with what was presumably way more than an ounce of solid gold (at time of writing, gold has a spot price around $1700 an ounce).
: “That’s awesome! We can really go all out with that kinda money!”
: “Yeah! Let’s make up for what happened at the fireworks festival! We gotta go eat somethin’ fittin’ for the Phantom Thieves’ worldwide debut!”
: “Where would be good?”
: “Ooh, how 'bout sushi!? I could really go for some eel too!”
: Joker taps Yusuke on the arm as if to say “No, Yusuke, we talked about this. You are a human being and not some kind of ginger gremlin.”
: “I’m all for sushi! You’re okay with that too, right?”
: “Then it’s decided.”
: “All right! We’ll go tomorrow night!”
: We spend the night crafting useless garbage again, and again we get the extra point. I think we might have enough extra time that I can fit in the rest of the books in one run and then do the game console games in another.
: Oh, right! I read in a thread on /v/ that apparently, Akechi’s new confidant scenes for Royal were basically ripped from the P5 anime. I should really get around to watching that at some point.
: “The Phantom Thieves made a mockery of us when they brought down Kaneshiro… and to make matters worse, Medjed, who has been dormant for some time now, just declared war on them. How much more can they screw us over?”
: “Stress is bad for the skin, you know.”
: “Did you come all this way simply to be sarcastic?”
: “How about you listen to my deductions for a change of pace? You may think it absurd… but don’t you think the case you’re pursuing and the actions of the Phantom Thieves overlap somehow?”
: “What are you basing this off of?”
: Someone once told Sae something was ‘based’ and she spent days trying to answer the question ‘based on what?’.
: “The one point of commonality across all cases is how those involved have an unforeseen change of heart.”
: “I’ve suspected that myself, but those suspicions are unfounded.”
: “I told you at the beginning that this was only a deduction. These ‘just’ Phantom Thieves are riling up the public. However, that is a disguise. Their true goal is terrorist action by way of psychotic breakdowns… is that too much?”
: Now look, I’m not saying John Persona caused the breakdowns, but John Persona caused the breakdowns.
: Meanwhile, Joker is eating sushi and Yusuke asks him “So wait, what’s our entire goal anyway?”, to which Joker responds “I dunno.”
: Ryuji looks over and goes “Can… can we bring Bionicle back?”
: “There’s nothing at the moment that falsifies that claim. Have you mentioned this to the police?”
: “I’d never tell them such things. The only value they have to me is in their mobility and organizational capabilities.”
: “I’m glad to hear that. What about your case, Sae-san? Did you learn anything from the guardian of that mental shutdown victim’s daughter?”
: And now we know what Futaba’s deal is. They could’ve, you know, saved this for the actual dungeon.
: “Nothing at all.”
: “I see. Now, what should my next action be for our victory?”
: “Handle the Phantom Thieves. Without remorse. Use any means necessary to win. That’s how I would deal with them.”
: chuckle “Very well.”
: “This seems to be fun for you. Are you on to something?”
: “No, not at all. Well then, to our victory.”
: “I-I don’t see any prices listed here…”
: “It’s called market price. Don’t worry 'bout it; we got the cash!”
: “Sooo goooooood…”
: “Hey, is the fatty tuna ready yet?”
: “Hold your horses. And don’t talk!”
: “By the way, Akira-kun… is Boss really the kind of person who would abuse someone?”
: “That again?”
: “I can’t get it off my mind. Especially if it means he could be taken to court… what kind of person is he? Do you truly believe he’d do such a thing?”
: “Hm…”
: “If it’s really true about the abuse, he’d be a no-good jerk pretendin’ to be a guardian.”
: “Maybe the chief is the one who needs a change of heart…”
: You know what would’ve been a good scene instead of some of the ones we got? Imagine a scene where the party (pre-Makoto) spends time trying to see if anyone they know has a Palace.
: “Sounds to me like there wasn’t a hit.”
: “Right. Anything beyond this is his family’s problem. We probably shouldn’t get any more involved.”
: “Wait… you think Alibaba could be Boss’s ex-wife!? He musta cheated on her, and that’s where Futaba came from.”
: “Still, this is delicious. I’ve never experienced anything quite like it before.”
: God dammit.
: “U-Ummm… Ph-Phan… Fantastic! This sushi is delicious!”
: “Kamoshida’s Palace. At this time of year, at this time of day, localized entirely within your kitchen… may I see it?”
: “Y-Yeah! The fish is so fresh!”
: “Think about where we are, Ryuji.”
: “Sorry, it just kinda slipped…”
: “My apologies for bringing up Boss again. We should just enjoy the food.”
: When I got to this point, I was kind of surprised to see this scene was still in the game as-is and hadn’t been reworked.
: If you’ll recall, back when we met Akechi at the TV station, I mentioned that in the base game he was an auto-confidant. This scene was his Rank 2 scene in the base game.
: “Akechi-kun…”
: “Akechi?”
: “You’re the ones from the TV station… could it be that you’re friends of Niijima-san?”
: I bet Joker wishes he didn’t. Look at that goddamn sweater vest.
: “It’s nice to meet you. My name is Akechi. Glad to make your acquaintance, Yusuke Kitagawa.”
: “How do you know my name?”
: “Well, because I’m a psychic, of course. Haha, I’m only joking. In truth, I’m a rookie detective. You’re a former pupil of Madrame, right?”
: “I have actually just recently joined the investigation team looking into the Phantom Thieves. Did you see that Medjed has declared war on them?”
: “War?”
: Metal Gear!?
: “Their website was updated just a moment ago.”
: “Wait, what!?”
: “What’s it say!?”
: “Hm? Why do you seem so agitated?”
: “Oh, um…”
: “She’s, uh… a huge fan of the Phantom Thieves. A total nutjob for 'em.”
: “Hm, I don’t know how wise it is to be a fan of groups like them.”
: “What is with these comments?”
: “My apologies. I didn’t mean to butt into your conversation. But I must say, this is an interesting group. Prosecutor Niijima’s sister, an ex-pupil of Madarame, and a few Shujin Academy students… it seems you’re all connected to the Phantom Thieves. Perhaps you have better intel than I do.”
: “Ah yes, I wanted to ask you something. Regarding this whole Medjed commotion… if you were one of the Phantom Thieves, what would you do?”
: “Unsurprising. I suppose you aren’t interested in such gossip…”
: “Sorry to disappoint, but we’re just normal high school kids. If anything, we wanna hear what you gotta say, Mr. Detective.”
: I wish Joker would pull a Tatsuya here and just fucking deck Akechi in the face.
: “What, you gonna report us?”
: “I didn’t say I was being suspicious of you.”
: “M-Me!? You’re sidin’ with him!?”
: “I wasn’t anticipating that response. You always find a way to rise above my expectations. You really are an intriguing one. I lack your calm mannerisms… but don’t you think my deduction is an interesting one?”
: What!? The hell’re you sayin’!?"
: “Well, this has been a valuable point of reference for me. I hope to see you all again.”
: “Do you think he’s ascertained our true identities?”
: “Nah, couldn’t be. Right?”
: “I’d like to say that it’s simply us overthinking this, but… it may be best to be cautious from now on. We shouldn’t forget that Alibaba was able to discover who we are.”
: I’m surprised that, with Makoto being THE SMART GIRL and all, she hasn’t suggested… I dunno, not meeting together in public? Going into the palaces and Mementos separately and meeting on the other side?
: “True, but it’s not as though he had tangible evidence to prove that discovery. Just keep acting normally.”
: “More importantly, things are getting serious with Medjed!”
: “Oh yeah! What’d they write!?”
: “Here, I’ll read it.”
: “We are disappointed in the people of Japan and their belief in the Phantom Thieves’ false justice. Hence, we shall proceed with our plan to cleanse Japan. This process will commence on August 21st. As a result, the Japanese economy shall suffer devastating damages.”
: Pfft. Got news for you there, the Japanese economy has been fucked since the late 80s.
: “For real…?”
: “Keep going.”
: “However, we are magnanimous. We will give the Phantom Thieves one final opportunity to repent. As proof of this repentance, we demand that they reveal their identities to the public. We will attack if these demands remain unmet. The fuure of Japan rests with the Phantom Thieves.”
: “We are Medjed. We are unseen. We will eliminate evil.”
: “…That’s what it says.”
: “Sounds bad…”
: “In other words, if we don’t unmask ourselves, Medjed will attack Japan… correct? It seems they are quite the attention-seekers…”
: “What are we gonna do about this?”
: “If only we could get in contact with Alibaba…”
: “Looks like we got no choice but to ask for Alibaba’s help.”
: “Question is, how do we get in touch with him?”
: “He cut off all contact with us after that misunderstanding. Then again, if we manage to steal Futaba’s heart, he may attempt to reach out to us once more.”
: “But we don’t have any clues on what her keywords are.”
: “Dammit, Alibaba! Where the hell are you!?”
: “Actually, he may be closer than we think.”
: “Huh?”
: “Hypothetically speaking, even if we stole Futaba’s heart… how would Alibaba know that the deed has been done? Would he truly be able to discern that just from cell phone messages?”
: “You mean he’d have to meet her in person?”
: “Alibaba was able to deliver the calling card here. On top of that, he can check on Futaba’s condition. However, according to the circumstances he put forth, he’s unable to meet us. This leads me to believe that it would be bad for him if we were to see the two of them together.”
: What’s funny is how flawed her logic is here. You’re dealing with a person who can clearly hack cellphones, so what’s stopping it from being a third party who picks a target where it’d be really, really obvious if they had suddenly been brainfucked?
: “For real!?”
: “So she’s asking that we steal her own heart?”
: “Maybe she wants us to save her from the scars of her abuse? That would be hard to ask directly.”
: “I’d like to meet with Boss… he lives nearby, right?”
: “I agree. It’s real late though. What’re we gonna tell Boss when we get there?”
: “We’ll say this take-out sushi is a gift for him.”
: “But my fatty tuna…!”
: “No complaining.”
: Sojiro gets the sushi and goes “Fatty tuna? What are you, a cat?”
: “Let’s all go together. Boss may get the wrong idea if Akira-kun and I show up alone.”
: “Think she’s nappin’?”
: “Even Boss would’ve woken up with how many times we’ve rung this doorbell.”
: “I would think Futaba would have answered by now if she were here too.”
: “Dude, you can’t go openin’ other people’s stuff like that.”
: I think I’ve said this before, but this reminds me of the godawful rewrite character in Tales of Zestiria who is an assassin that doesn’t kill people.
: “But look. The door seems to be slightly open as well. I wonder why. That’s rather careless…”
: You can hear a thunderclap right after this, but obviously you can’t because this is an SSLP.
: “…Do you think that’s okay?”
: “Prolly?”
: “My apologies, Boss!”
: “Have you heard the word of our lord and savior YHVH?”
: “The door ahead is open, and I can hear the TV.”
: “I hope he didn’t pass out or something… I mean, Boss is kinda old, ain’t he?”
: Unlike a lot of characters, Sojiro doesn’t have a canon age. He’s probably somewhere in his late 50s.
: “I’m a bit worried. Should we go in and check on him?”
: “Please excuse us…”
: There’s a scream in the background that happens as the power goes out.
: “A scream!? What was that!?”
: “H-How should I know?”
: “Let’s get out of here, please? Can we just go?”
: “What’re you freakin’ out for?”
: “I-I-I’m not freaking out!”
: “Could it be Alibaba? I mean, Futaba?”
: “Makoto, it’s like ten feet to the door. Everyone else is already out. I thought you were THE SMART GIRL.”
: I think they lengthened this hallway for this cutscene, because we’re about to see it from the other side and it won’t make any sense how it takes Makoto more than like two seconds to leave.
: “I can sense someone’s presence…”
: “I can’t take this anymore! I’m leaving!”
: Oh, hi Futaba. Are you here to point out that Joker is within arm’s reach of opening the door at this point?
: I too would probably shriek at the sight of someone wearing a Tetris tanktop. Something about that just isn’t right.
: My favorite part about this cutscene is that it’s just several minutes of Makoto getting fucking owned.
: “Alibaba! Futaba! Hey! C’mon, where are you!? You’re a hacker, right? Just show yourself!”
: And now she’s devolved into being Maya. How long until we find out she was locked in a shrine and nearly set on fire as a child?
: “Crap, he’s home!”
: Why is there a frog next to the door?
: “Ah…”
: “You’re…”
: “Oh… g-good… evening, sir… we… didn’t mean… to intrude…”
: “Niijima-san! Wait, are you two dating?”
: “W-We’re j-just friends!”
: “Friends nowadays get that close to each other?”
: “That’s not it! This, um… things happened… and…”
: “Um, we brought you some sushi, but nobody answered when we rang the bell… the door was unlocked too. We could hear the TV though, so we got worried you might have passed out or something.”
: “The door was unlocked?”
: “Yes.”
: “… I do that sometimes. Guess I’m getting old.”
: “Um, excuse me. There’s something we’d like to ask.”
: “Hm? You wanna ask me?”
: “There’s someone else living here… isn’t there?”
: “Yeah… my daughter.”
: “Could she be Futaba Sakura?”
: “You told Niijima-san too!?”
: “U-Um… is there any way we could meet with Futaba-san? I think we may have frightened her earlier, so we’d like to apologize if at all possible.”
: “Well… that’s…”
: “Is she sick?”
: “No, it’s not like that.”
: “Futaba’s mother and I knew each other long before Futaba was born. Her mother was a bit of a weird one, but we got along well for some reason…”
: “She was sharp-witted, somewhat stern, a little socially inept, but always carefree… she truly was a great woman.”
: “I see…”
: “When something piqued her interest, that’d be all she focused on. She always worked deep into the night. I thought that’d change after her kid was born, but having Futaba didn’t do much.”
: “Even with that, she always took good care of her.”
: “Working and watching over a child at the same time sounds rough…”
: “I guess raising Futaba alone turned out to be tough on her in more ways than one…”
: Futaba is 15 years old in Persona 5. I’m not sure how old her mother was when she died, but my headcanon is that Baofu is her father.
: “There wasn’t a father.”
: They should’ve put a line in here where Yusuke goes “Is your daughter Jesus? Was she immaculately conceived?”
: “Well, there probably was one. I didn’t know him though. She never said a word about him, either. She was single when she gave birth to Futaba, and single when she raised her.”
: “They were an ordinary, loving family. You could really tell how much she cared for Futaba. But one day, she left… leaving Futaba behind.”
: “Suicide…!?”
: “Threw herself into the street, right in front of Futaba’s eyes…”
: I don’t hate this cutscene’s writing - in fact, I think this is one of the better cutscenes in the game. However, I still don’t like it.
: We already know pretty much everything there is to know about Futaba and Wakaba and we haven’t even set foot in the dungeon yet. The dungeon is therefore going to reiterate a lot of what we already know.
: The thing is, it would’ve been so much more effective if you just got to see it in the dungeon itself. Sure, there’s a few things we don’t know about Sojiro and Wakaba… but those aren’t revealed until after the dungeon.
: Personally, if I had been writing this, I would have just had Sojiro mention that Futaba’s mother is dead without explaining the circumstances surrounding it because he doesn’t really understand them himself.
: “Shocking doesn’t begin to describe that…”
: “That’s gotta be devastating for a kid.”
: “So… well, a lot happened after that, but I ended up taking custody of Futaba. First, she was so depressed that she wouldn’t even talk to me.”
: “Was that because she couldn’t get over her mother’s suicide?”
: God dammit Ann.
: “What!? But why!?”
: “That part she’s never told me. I wanted to know what led her to believing that, but I decided not to rub salt in the wound.”
: Then, a few months ago… she started getting real scared, even when nothing was happening. She’d say things like ‘I hear voices…’ and, "Mom is looking at me…’ "
: “Visual and auditory hallucinations… have you taken Futaba to a doctor?”
: “I wanted to, but she refused. Even when I had a doctor come, she locked herself away in her room. Since then, she’s become what you’d call a shut-in.”
: In case you’re wondering, the Japanese VA uses the word “hikikomori”, but the localizers didn’t for some reason.
: “She won’t take a single step outside the house, or even try to see other people.”
: “What about you?”
: “She doesn’t even let me come in her room.”
: “That’s pretty harsh…”
: “Futaba is, well, a unique girl. She’s so quick-minded that conversations with her tend to jump from one topic to the next. It seems like she’s always coming to conclusions in her head. There’s a lot I don’t get about her…”
: “Hmm…”
: “What Futaba needs is a safe place where nobody will threaten her. Somewhere she can be at ease. That’s why I won’t do anything she doesn’t want. I don’t make her do anything she’s unwilling to either.”
: “Then again, I know that’s no way for her to live. It’s all I can do though…”
: “I don’t know. She just asks me for things that she wants, like food or these complicated books… well, that’s that. So can you just… leave her be?”
: “I’m gonna head back then. You all had better head home soon too.”
: “No way in hell he’s abusin’ her.”
: “The reason why Futaba wants her heart stolen must be related to what happened to her mother.”
: Ann, shut up.
: “So she’d like to discard her feelings of pain, but can’t do anything about it herself.”
: “Will changing her heart really help her, though?”
: “If we can help her, we may be able to stand up to Medjed.”
: “Hold on a sec. Do we even know if she has a Palace? Let’s check.”
: “What the…?”
: “She’s got one…”
: “So someone can have a Palace even if they’re not evil?”
: Futaba is pretty much the only person in 5 or Strikers to have (or be) a shadow and not be evil. There is a Futaba equivalent in Strikers, however, because Strikers largely mirrors the original game’s story but with different villains.
: “Hey, Morgana-”
: “Where’s Morgana?”
: “I haven’t seen him for some time.”
: “So, ever since we went inside Boss’s house?”
: “…Somewhere ‘round there. He’ll be fine though. He’s a cat, after all. The trains’re gonna be shuttin’ down for the night soon, so we should prolly be headin’ home.”
: From what I’ve seen in Game Center CX, the last train is sometime between 11PM and midnight.
: “We have to go to school in the morning, after all.”
: “Ohhh, right. The urgent assembly.”
: “An assembly? What about?”
: “Shujin has been garnering a lot of attention ever since Medjed called out the Phantom Thieves. So, they need to remind us not to say arbitrary stuff online and add more fuel to the fire.”
: “We’ve gotta meet up for every goddamn little thing. Talk about a pain in the ass.”
: “I mean, it is our fault.”
: “Anyway, let’s contact each other afterward.”
: There’s a bunch of repeated dialog here, so I’m just going to skip it.
: Unfortunately, we can’t go out even into Yongen-Jaya. We’re forced to sleep.
: “I take it the chief told you about Futaba, and then you guys disbanded in relief for now.”
: “You can’t underestimate my intel-gathering skills, you know. I was checking out the chief’s house. I didn’t think our Alibaba would be so young…”
: “She had long hair and a pretty young-sounding voice. Well… I say young, but I think she’s probably about the same age as you guys. At the very least, she’s no amateur. She completely overheard your conversation with the chief, and she can hack into our chats too.”
: “Even if she can’t take Medjed down directly, she might have some kind of lead on them.”
: “In any case, we’ll need to rely on Futaba to get closer to Medjed. Let’s meet up again tomorrow. How about we do it in here? It’s way too hot outside… anyway, make sure you let everyone know.”
: “Hold on. While Medjed was targeting you, you chose to deal with someone completely unrelated to them?”
: “Then how was Medjed… what you’ve said about the Sakura family generally falls in line with our investigation. It appears you aren’t feeding us a false testimony.”
: “Hmph. If you’re lucid enough for jabs, you can get back to your story. It’s still unclear to us as to how the Phantom Thieves dealt with Medjed since their identity is unknown. If you tell me something coherent, I may be a little more willing to believe you.”
: Next time, we’ll reload a bunch for a book that it turns out isn’t part of the 100% route, run into a near-permafuck, run into an actual permafuck, and see Futaba’s palace for the first time.
I’m still working on the next update, but some news broke today:
This could be your last chance to buy a copy of Persona 1 or Innocent Sin, given that the physical copies only work in older PSPs that have UMD drives.
Click Here for Update 45
: Look, somebody pushed the button and now we have to have an emergency meeting. I vote for ejecting Morgana.
: “This is bigger than I thought. We can’t leave this be…”
: The game will really start pushing us hard to go into Futaba’s palace from the first day it’s available. I’m not sure why, given that Futaba’s palace isn’t a huge difficulty spike.
: “I applaud your cool-headedness, but it’ll be too late if we wait until after something’s happened. If Medjed does something drastic, what will people think of us?”
: “Let’s get this assembly out of the way. We have our own business to attend to!”
: “Huh? Did you have school too, Yusuke?”
: “I’m doing laundry, so these are the only clothes I had to wear.”
: I’m pretty sure that the way the game’s engine works, they have one flag that sets the outfit for all of the characters at once, and they didn’t feel like hard-coding an exception.
: “You really should buy a couple more outfits…”
: “Come now, we didn’t gather here to make small talk, now did we? Let’s get to Alibaba’s case.”
: “Well then, I’ll start. It looks like Futaba was listening in on Leblanc.”
: “But why would she want to listen in on the cafe?”
: “I have no idea.”
: “It’s just like Boss said… she’s a tough nut to crack.”
: “In any case, her hacking skills will be absolutely necesary if we wish to stand up to Medjed. Going by what she has told us, we may even be able to identify who they are.”
: “We’ll have to trust in her skills for now, then.”
: If I had one complaint about this entire segment of the game, it’s that it kind of feels like Hashino wrote all of the other plot arcs and then someone pointed out “Uh, boss? How come only bad people have shadows?”
: “That doesn’t matter. A Palace is the materialization of distorted cognitions brought about by strong desires… that’s all. It just so happens that a lot of warped people turn out evil.”
: “She’s so young though… the pain she’s gone through must be the cause of her distortion.”
: “Maybe that has something to do with why she calls herself Alibaba.”
: I think I mentioned this before, but the reason she calls herself Alibaba is because it’s a kanji pun.
: “According to the chief’s story, Futaba has auditory and visual hallucinations, right? There’s a chance those are related to some important memories she’s holding.”
: Translation: Futaba’s arc has a lot of stuff that never really pops up again.
: “It’s hard to explain… but those memories may have been warped by the distortions.”
: “So do we all agree about taking on Futaba’s Palace?”
: “She’s asked us to do so. I don’t think that part is an issue. If we heal Futaba’s heart, it will not only help Boss, but she can then assist us with Medjed.”
: “I agree.”
: “I’ve been wonderin’ about how about how Boss said ‘a lot happened’ after Futaba’s mom died too.”
: “Hold on a second. Our investigation of her Palace may not go like anything we’ve done up to this point.”
: “Why’s that?”
: “Having an individual ask you to steal their heart is an extremely irregular case. There’s no telling what the Palace ruler’s disposition will be like, or the distortion that’ll be there. We may run into some unforeseen situations. Do you still want to go in?”
: I missed a ‘choice’ here that’s basically “Yes we should go in” or “I’m not sure, but yes.”
: “All right. Let’s just make sure we’re cautious.”
: “Well, let’s get crackin’ on those keywords, huh?”
: The one thing I think Strikers does well plot-wise is that it eliminates the stupid “we need to find the keywords” bits. Of course, I’m not a big fan of what they replace it with - namely that the Palace owners are now aware they have a Palace and can apparently go there themselves, but you wind up fighting their Shadow instead for some reason.
: “Let us try going to their house first.”
: “Boss is busy running the cafe, isn’t he? We should make sure he doesn’t suspect anything.”
: “I’ll be able to remember everything if I turn back into a human, right?”
: “That’s not important! I’m talking about my memories here! I… definitely want this mission to succeed. If we can retrieve Futaba’s memories, then I’d bet we can get mine back too…”
: I’m not sure what Hashino was thinking when he wrote this line, because the whole point isn’t that Futaba has lost her memory, it’s that she can’t live with the memory she has.
: “In any case, it’s not every day you stumble upon a hacker like her around. You really do have a gift, don’t you?”
: “You sure live up to my expectations.”
: We can now craft the Infinite Lockpick, which is great because we have enough regular lockpicks to last us the rest of the game and then some.
: “She’s a shut-in, so we just gotta figure out ‘what’ she thinks her house is. If she can’t get out, maybe a prison?”
: Just like the other times they’ve done this, the phone says something in Japanese that isn’t subtitled when they guess incorrectly.
: “Perhaps a labyrinth with an unknown exit?”
: This is a blatant reference to the bomb shelter dungeon in Innocent Sin, and it hurts that they’re having the female Tatsuya clone say it.
: “Hmm… maybe an oasis?”
: No Ann, that’s the final boss theme. We’re not quite there yet, though I’m pretty sure if I grinded for a few hours I could take him.
: “We don’t have nearly enough clues…”
: “If only we could ask her directly…”
: “We can. C’mon, let’s go see Futaba.”
: “But what will we say to get in?”
: “Whaddya mean? We’re sneakin’ in.”
: “You have to be joking. Won’t the door be locked for sure this time?”
: “I’ll take care of that. Oh, and I figured out where Futaba’s room was when I snuck in last night.”
: “What if we run into Boss, though? There’s no way we’ll be able to avoid his questions.”
: “He’s at work now, so I think we should be fine.”
: “Gettin’ cold feet, Makoto? Don’t worry, it’ll be nothing. We’ve gone through loads of shit like this already.”
: “…This is our only choice, right? I suppose Futaba did get in contact with Akira-kun… perhaps she’ll at least be willing to speak with him.”
: “There’s no answer.”
: “Futaba-chan. Are you there? I’m sorry for being startled and screaming yesterday. It was so dark that I got scared.”
: “No reaction whatsoever.”
: “This is gonna be hard…”
: “You’re listening, right, Alibaba?”
: “Is it Alibaba?”
: “You’re Futaba Sakura, aren’t you?”
: “She’s not responding again.”
: “Does she not like us saying her name?”
: “We don’t have time to dally around. We need her keyword before dealing with Alibaba’s identity.”
: “We want to learn more about you. If we don’t do so, we can’t steal your heart. The reason why we came here is because we need the keyword to enter your Palace.”
: “Also we need Sojiro’s credit card number, the expiration date and the three digits on the back. Don’t ask why.”
: “That’s why we want to talk with Futaba Sakura herself, and not Alibaba. You don’t have to show yourself. Just answer some questions for us. Chat messages are fine.”
: “All right then. Our leader, the guy who lives in Leblanc’s attic, wants to speak with you. We’re counting on you, Akira-kun. Try and get a keyword out of her.”
: This is a dialog puzzle. I don’t know why it exists. I’ll only post the correct answers.
: The IM thing barely shows the reply before it cuts off.
: “Tomb?”
: “You think that’s it?”
: “Try entering ‘tomb’.”
: “We got it…!”
: “Yes. It was plenty. You haven’t forgotten your promise of helping us if we complete your request, right?”
: I’d like you to pay careful attention to something over the next cutscene. Specifically, pay attention to their feet.
: “Yeah, we see that. Wait, what the - our clothes are still the same?”
: “Futaba herself is asking us to steal her heart. It’d be odd if she saw us as a threat. If she doesn’t see us as an enemy, then your clothes don’t change. That’s how it works.”
: Fun fact, this is why babies can’t change their clothes - they don’t have enemies yet. Once they get a few, then they can do it.
: “But more importantly, I told you to be cautious! Why’d you activate it like that!?”
: I’m just amazed it didn’t draw Futaba in, given that Ann got pulled into Kamoshida’s palace and was about the same distance away.
: “Is that why we ended up in a desert? Where’s the tomb? It’s so damn hot here.”
: “Even though we entered right in front of her room, we didn’t end up inside it.”
: “She must really want to keep people away from her.”
: “I see…”
: “What a bleak feeling this place has… it’s the complete opposite of Kaneshiro’s bank.”
: “Let’s hurry up and get goin’. Where’s the Palace?”
: “Is it that way?”
: “A tomb in the desert… I see. Anyway, let’s make our way there.”
: “Isn’t that kinda far?”
: “Are we gonna walk!?”
: Okay, I have several questions. First off, can he feel his tires? Wouldn’t his tires feel the sand?
: “I’ll make sure to put the AC on full blast!”
: …Why does the cat have air conditioning?
: “You’re so considerate!”
: “Hehe, r-right…”
: Warning: The following anime cutscene is non-canon. Joker is not, has never been, and will likely never be horny.
: Clearly, the animators have never been to a desert or they’d know you don’t really sweat like that. Sweat pretty much immediately evaporates in the desert, which is why dehydration is such a threat.
: I’d know, because I did like a seven-mile walk to Hoover Dam a few years ago.
: What the fuck happened to Makoto’s face? Why is she some kind of horrifying modern art self-portrait? I mean, I know the answer, and the answer is QUALITY.
: Speaking of QUALITY, I got a copy of both the P5 anime and The Day Breakers OVA. Here’s a quiz for you. You are a director at an anime studio and get commissioned to make a 6-episode OVA to tie in with Persona 5. Do you:
-
Use your budget wisely and make something that may not be great, but at least isn’t QUALITY.
-
Outsource to the lowest bidder and make the second episode a clip show.
: If you answered 1, I’m sorry, you’re not qualified to be the director of a video game tie-in anime. Go find a job at Studio Trigger, maybe they’ll hire you. If you answered 2, congratulations, you’re hired.
: Wait a second… didn’t Morgana say he wasn’t a self-driving car? Makoto doesn’t even have a hand on the wheel!
: Ryuji looks like he’s just died of fright.
: Not canon. I mean, the part with Yusuke not looking is. This is what happens when you outsource - they never read the goddamn notes.
: I… I don’t think I get it. Is Morgana one of those driver’s ed vehicles where there’s a brake on both sides? If that’s not a handbrake, what the fuck is it?
: Somewhere, at an anime studio in what is probably Croatia, Fred (the janitor who worked in the building where they made Nausicaa and creative consultant for Ni No Kuni 2) goes over the finalized storyboard for the “desert bus” scene.
: “Boss, none of this makes sense! Why does Ann have a handbrake on her side? Even if that’s not a handbrake, why does her reclining the seat back cause Joker to go flying? This is turning into another Ni No Kuni 2, and I haven’t even worked on that yet!”
: “And boss, the character notes say that Joker isn’t horny! Why is he horny?” Fred’s boss coughs. “Just fucking ship it. It’ll be fine.”
: “The AC ain’t workin’ at all! What the hell was that lukewarm air about!?”
: “That was the best I could do, so quit your yapping!”
: Sadly, Morgana would probably win that fight. Ryuji is the slowest character in the game, making him P5’s equivalent of Mark.
: “Geez, shut up! It’s hot, so don’t make me more irritated!”
: “To think her Palace would be a pyramid…”
: “Yes. It’s a pharaoh’s tomb.”
: “That’s how it’s mostly known. There are a variety of theories on it. For instance, it’s even said to be a device for reviving the dead.”
: “Reviving the dead, hm? It’s beautiful nonetheless… it’s perfectly conformed to the golden ratio…”
: “Hey, guys, can we go in already? I’m gonna melt…”
: The game kind of distracts you by showing you a couple of side paths on the map, but there’s not a whole lot there.
: By the way, remember how I told you to look at the party’s feet? Go a couple of shots up and take another look. Where they got their shoes from, I have no idea.
: The pyramid is very technology-themed. The pillars outside are covered in unicode, and the “2010” leads me to believe that it was copy-pasted from a registry entry in Windows.
: One side of the pyramid has this big structure with nothing on it. I don’t remember if it ever gets used or not.
: There’s a closed gate on the other side, which is how we’ll be getting in once we come back to actually clear this place.
: “Who knows what may await us within… what is your call, Joker? Shall we head inside?”
: The worst part is that we could stomp everything in this dungeon today without buying new equipment.
: “Okay. We’ll find out more about Futaba’s secrets in here, right?”
: “Indeed. Well, let’s head inside.”
: “It may be because Futaba’s room in reality has AC pumping through it. Either way, this is a relief.”
: “Huh, our clothes still haven’t changed even now. This has never happened to us before.”
: Take a drink every time Ann states the obvious.
: “It is refreshing that she doesn’t see us as a threat… but we are completely surrounded by walls.”
: “I guess this is a tomb… it’s probably not made to be easy to get into. Anyway, let’s explore.”
: “There’s way too goddamn many…”
: “Don’t ask for too much. You should be happy we’re not being attacked as we ascend. More importantly, I can totally sense the Treasure ahead. We’re getting pretty close now!”
: “These stairs seem to be headed into the heart of the pyramid. I wonder if that’s where the Treasure awaits…”
: Seriously, what is it with the party and stating things we can clearly see?
: “Welp, time to keep climbin’ then. Let’s go.”
: You can pretty clearly see what the gimmick of the pyramid is going to be - there’s doors on either side of the stairs that are gated off, and indentations in the walls that are going to become locked doors once we get this thing started.
: Oh yeah, like a laser hallway where everyone but Ryuji makes it through because he’s too busy looking at the weird holes in the walls. I wish the PSP version of Eternal Punishment was localized.
: Speaking of which, I’ve heard that the PSP version was widely considered not as good as the PS1 original, but the PS1 version’s translation is garbage.
: My favorite thing about this dungeon is that this is the only one where you can run from the start of the dungeon to the end on the day you fight the boss without fighting anything.
: “That’s Futaba’s Shadow. It isn’t the real her.”
: I was seriously considering making a “No fucking shit!” counter but then I realized we’d be well into the triple digits at this point.
: “Oh yeah, you’ve seen her face. True. This one’s kinda dressed like a queen.”
: “So you’re Futaba Sakura…”
: “Hey, where’s the Treasure?”
: “It’s doubtful that you wouldn’t know where it is.”
: “Hey, say somethin’.”
: “Don’t be like that! I’m sorry, Futaba-chan. It’s okay, there’s no need to be scared. So, can you tell us where your most treasured possession is?”
: Yusuke’s right though. Where has the plot actually gone since the start of the game?
: Honestly, you could probably remove the first three dungeons altogether and the plot would still be largely the same.
: “Let’s just leave her.”
: “Will you guys shut up for a bit!?”
: Well, this is weird. As it turns out, the Megami Tensei wiki doesn’t have a portrait for Futaba’s shadow. Guess I’ll just have to use her regular one.
: “Those who plunder my tomb. Why have you come?”
: “She talked… but…”
: “What’re you sayin’? You want us to steal it, right?”
: “If you believe you can steal it, then try as you might.”
: “That’s rather defiant-sounding.”
: “What are these voices?”
: They’re not subtitled, so I have no idea. You can hear a woman and a man shouting something, but I’m not turning on the English dub to find out what.
: “This is horrible…”
: “Hey, the hell is this?”
: “What was that!?”
: “She sees us as a threat now… what’s going on!?”
: I should mention that normally, Futaba is walking product placement. Her post-dungeon portrait wears a pair of red AKG headphones - in fact, AKG released a model that looks like the ones she wears.
: They were $400 and from what I remember were generally considered to be poor quality. I recall seeing a few photos from Japanese blogs of the pads disintegrating after a couple of months.
: “This… again… that’s right… I killed Mom. I don’t deserve to be alive… this place is a tomb… I’ll die here…”
: One thing I didn’t really think about much until I played Strikers is that half the cast are orphans. It’s my personal canon that at the end of the game, Joker goes home and is relieved that no one in the party will discover he has no parents.
: “This is bad - I’m having a hard time getting a grasp of our situation. We should regroup and-”
: Nothing about that last line makes any sense. How can you regroup? You’re already together!
: Someone on the Megami Tensei wiki actually tracked what that bar code is from - it’s from a third-party video cable for the PS3… and also the Wii for some reason.
: “We’re safe… that was too close.”
: “Now what!?”
: “Even if we wanted to ask Futaba what’s going on, it seems the door is shut. What should we do?”
: “I think our best option is retreating for now. This won’t be as simple as we expected. Why don’t we prepare a little more, then come back?”
: The only reason we’re not stomping the shit out of this dungeon is that the game won’t let us.
: “True. Then let’s retreat for now and return to the Palace another day.”
: “In order to stop them, we need to help Futaba Sakura before the 21st. Our deadline is about two days prior, so the 19th.”
: “Meetin’ up in Shibuya then comin’ here’s a pain, right? Let’s make this place our hideout for a while.”
: “Is everyone fine with this place being our next hideout then?”
: “We must take care not to be discovered by Boss.”
: “There’s no telling what may happen inside that pyramid. We all need to be cautious so that place doesn’t become our graveyard.”
: “Man, this is gonna be one crazy summer vacation. We’re dealin’ with international hackers and lookin’ for a Treasure in a pyramid.”
: “How can you be enjoying this!? This is a crisis of whether or not our group continues, you know!?”
: “I know that!”
: “That reminds me. While we were in the Mona Car, you were staring at me with a dirty look, you perv.”
: “Shuddup! It was a great view! You guys were lookin’ too, am I right!?”
: Joker pulls out the air horn.
: “Indeed. The pyramid’s golden ratio was truly a sight to behold.”
: “That ain’t what I’m talkin’ about…”
: Joker points. “Don’t listen to him. He’s thirsty for human women.”
: “Will we be all right like this?”
: This is something that is brought up here and then never gets brought up again. It’s implied that the “hallucinations” are actually a by-product of having a Palace, but we never see this with any of the other bosses.
: Tonight, we need to do something that is kinda bullshit. Remember how I said back in Madarame’s dungeon that we didn’t need a Hierophant persona until August? I was a little off.
: The guide has us clean Leblanc, which gives a small amount of kindness and also a point (two with matching Persona) to Sojiro’s confidant.
: Keep in mind that this happens after almost a solid week where we haven’t been able to do anything, including visiting the Velvet Room. Fortunately, we fused that bullshit overpowered Anzu.
: I don’t believe this is a permafuck if you don’t have a matching Persona. It’s only a one point loss, and we’ll have the ability to buy confidant points from Chihaya soon. Even without that, we’d still have spare nights in September if we really needed them.
: There’s even a trophy for it, and I have no idea why.
: “If we want Futaba’s help, we’re gonna have to steal her Treasure by the day before the deadline. So we have to find the Treasure by the 18th, and send the calling card by the 19th. It’s up to you when we go to the Palace, but keep the deadline in mind, all right?”
: “Oh no, Joker, I got an A- and not an A and now I’m afraid I’m going to stop being THE SMART GIRL.”
: “I couldn’t agree more… the truth is… recently I’ve started questioning the entire point of my education. What do I stand to gain from getting good grades and living up to the high expectations my sister has set for me?”
: “I spoke to Eiko about this matter as well, but the answer hasn’t become any clearer.”
: “You don’t remember her? Eiko Takao. We asked her about the job she has at the ‘salon’ in Shinjuku.”
: Oh wow, that’s one of the few legit typos I’ve seen in this game.
: “Because of those calls, we’ve actually grown somewhat close. When I voiced my concerns to her, she asked me how I would benefit from going to a top university… but… I couldn’t come up with a good answer.”
: “As for Eiko, her grades are… not the best, but she claims she doesn’t even think about that stuff. Apparently her parents can use their connections to find her a job…”
: “But isn’t that a little irresponsible? It’s nice she can rely on her parents, but this is her life, not theirs. …I guess that’s just a different way of approaching things.”
: “Even at that, her vision of the future is still clearer than mine.”
: “… I used to think doing what others expected of me was the best way forward. I was going to major in law, just like my sister did. And after that, I would simply have headed down whatever path society had made for me.”
: “But everything changed when I joined the Phantom Thieves. I’ve realized now there are more important things in life than being a prim and proper honor student.”
: So what you’re saying is that you’re a less interesting Elly… even though there’s a party member who basically IS Elly?
: “Honestly, I would have looked down on Eiko’s line of thinking in the past… but I know better now.”
: “Lately, Eiko’s been telling me whenver she buys makeup or finds a cute new outfit. That reminds me, she asked me the other day what hand cream I use.”
: “I sent her a picture… and it’s apparently the same brand they use in the nurse’s office at school.”
: “That stuff works wonders for dry skin, and it’s great value too. My father used to use it all the time. …Did I ever tell you he was a police officer?”
: So yes, there is a correct response for asking Makoto about her fucking hand cream. That is what this game has come to.
: The worst part is that her reminding Joker who her father was is just kind of rubbing in how much of a fucking ripoff she is.
: “He detested the corruption in our society and worked tirelessly to bring it to justice… but despite the rough exterior, he was extremely gentle deep down.”
: “When I was little, I told him I wanted to grow up to be a police officer, just like he was. He was glad to hear me say that, but quick to point out that he didn’t want me doing something so dangerous.”
: “I had completely forgotten about that dream, to be honest.”
: “I suppose… either way, after everything that happened… I have no intention of working with the police. Besides, they’re trying to stop the Phantom Thieves. What am I supposed to do, arrest myself?”
: “Hm… I think I need to reexamine what my goals for the future are, outside of just plain studying. You know, it feels like I remembered something important today thanks to you.”
: “I guess you could say my viewpoint has been broadened yet again.”
: “When I met Eiko, I realized how narrow my viewpoint really was. I only just learned recently that a chemise is now called a camisole, and a button-down sweater is a cardigan…”
: So wait, is this actually a time travel plot and Makoto is actually from the 1880s or something?
: “Why does the same thing have multiple names? I guess in the end, I’m just becoming more aware of how little I really know.”
: We have a bunch of stuff to do tonight. First, we need to go to Chihaya and get a boost to Kindness.
: Next, we feed the plant. With the boost, this is 7 points to Kindness.
: The guide has us go after an item from this vending machine at Iwai’s to trade. It took me like six reloads to get, and then I permafucked.
: The item you need is the “MRE Ration” and I believe you can only use this machine once a day.
: We can trade the MRE Ration for a Factorization Guide, which boosts knowledge gained from studying by 2. I thought this was a requirement to not permafuck but as it turns out we never actually study again.
: In fact, I’m not entirely sure why the guide has us get this in the first place. There was a trophy for reading all the books in the base game, but that trophy was removed from Royal. The only reason I can think of is there might be a Thieves Den thing for it now.
: Basically, the guide I’m using is bunk. Anyway, now we can visit Chihaya again. This is the point where I permafucked and didn’t realize it.
: “This is your first time coming to my stand, yes?”
: “Of course! Fate is… absolute.”
: “That’s wonderful! Congratulations! So, what’s worrying you? Is it the date of the ceremony, or perhaps the location of your honeymoon?”
: I wasn’t sure how big of a thing arranged marriages actually are in Japan, so I looked it up. Like the question of whether or not Kawakami is a prostitute, the answer is complicated.
: Japan has this long-standing practice of what’s called “Omiai”, which means “look-meet”. According to Japanese government data, before World War II, 69% of marriages were done this way.
: In the Pre-WWII period, Omiai was basically arranged marriage the way you’d think of it in feudal Europe: marriage done purely for political or financial gain.
: Omiai is kind of attributed as one of the reasons for the birthrate issue in Japan: in an Omiai marriage, everything was based on financial and employment standards that very few people could meet.
: Anyway, there’s still Omiai marriages these days, but they only account for like 5 to 6 percent of all marriages. As I understand it, they’re also much less formal.
: These days, there’s a whole matchmaking industry (including matchmakers owned by the government, weirdly enough) that has replaced Omiai.
: There’s a term for it that I won’t use because the guy who came up with it sounds like a fucking asshole who doesn’t understand basic socioeconomic issues.
: “Ah… so this is what it means to be weighed down by societal obligations.”
: “Please relax. The divine power will bring us your answer! Yes, I’ve seen everything. My… it seems you will face financial ruin if you decline…”
: “Um, Kurusu-san? This may be a good time to demonstrate your powers. This man is bound by the fetters of societal obligation… how should he move forward?”
: “Oh, that’s a wonderful suggestion! Though I guess anyone could have come up with that answer… incidentally, what would you say to make him choose his childhood friend?”
: “You know, not me because I’m into Yusuke, but… you know, thieves.”
: “Thieves…? She’s not a child.”
: Sir, this is a Wendy’s.
: “It’s happened again… so, you have altered fate once more… his fortune now states he will be quite successful. I had questioned your powers, but this is the third time…”
: “I have no choice… I must accept that fate can, in fact, be changed. You’ve proven that to me. And as a sign of thanks for showing me the truth… I’ll provide a special fortune service for you from now on!”
: Yes. The Greatest Weapon in the Phantom Thieves Arsenal just got even better. Money Reading doubles all money gained after ending a battle with an All-Out.
: “I see… I wish there was a way I could meet one… but for now, that wish only reminds me of my inability to change my own fate…”
: “M-My, it’s gotten so late! I should start packing up for today. I’ll see you next time! Farewell.”
: What you are about to witness is a permafuck in action.
: Can you guess the one arcana I don’t have a Persona for right now? The best part is that if we leave Leblanc tomorrow, we CANNOT RETURN FOR ANY REASON and miss out on that event forever.
: Next time, we’ll have a day in with Yusuke, another day in with Ryuji, have a suspicious gap where Kawakami’s Rank 10 scene should be, and make it to the day before we infiltrate the palace.
Click Here for Update 46
: This update’s going to be shorter than it should be, but that’s fine.
: “Oh, and I brought an art book I would like to read with you… if we are not planning to infiltrate today, why don’t we search for ideas between the pages of this book?”
: Fortunately, I deleted Nigi Mitama off-screen: we don’t do anything with Maruki until September. We have the Persona for this.
: This is one of the first confidant events you wouldn’t see on the reset-heavy route. If this were the reset-heavy route, we’d be fighting the boss today.
: “This is also a fine place to relax and enjoy a good book. Yes, I’ll be visiting more often. You know, I never asked… what kind of art do you like?”
: Joker spits out his coffee. “Look, Yusuke, I really think we should save that for marriage. Nothing good can come of talking about art preferences before then.”
: “Yes, of course. You judge art on a piece-by-piece basis, not by genre. I’ve been blind this whole time… looking at something without any preconceived notions… is this what it means to ask the heart?”
: Joker wipes the sweat from his brow. “Thank YHVH that’s over.”
: “Thank you for sharing your opinion. It was enlightening.”
: For this, we get five points to Charm and three points to Yusuke’s confidant.
: During scenes like these, we can ask whoever Joker’s with to go get coffee or go to the bathhouse. Unfortunately, this is where I had to do Kawakami’s rank 10 scene.
: On a side note, I found out today that Umamusume (a garbage single-interest anime about racehorses turned into anime girls) has a character named Kawakami Princess and as far as I’m concerned it is now canon that Kawakami does the whole Helltaker furry bit only as a horse for her Rank 10.
: Kawakami: “Bam! I’m an anime horse now! High schoolers love horses, right?”
: Joker: “I am getting the air horn.”
: Instead, we do a crossword puzzle and then do Kawakami’s rank 10 off screen.
: This is another scene you wouldn’t see on the reset-heavy route.
: We have a message from Kasumi that we’re forced to look at. We’re nearly maxed out with her until after the end of the base game, and will finish her confidant on the 10th.
: “Sorry to bother you while you’re enjoying your after-meal coffee… but I’m gonna open up shop soon. You either need to go upstairs or get out of here.”
: “Alibaba doesn’t know what’s happening. I’m sure she’s getting anxious… we’ll just have to try and appease her for a while…”
: “It’s really something to see, man. So if we’re not gonna be meetin’ up with the others, wanna read?”
: “The fight between the main guy and his rival really gets me goin’. I want 'em both to win! So, hey. Who do you usually root for? The main hero or the rival?”
: Neither, because I’ve been over shonen battle garbage for years. If you’ve read one, you’ve read them all.
: “Oh, really? Me too! Rival characters are cool, but things don’t always work out for ‘em. I really get that. Gah, I gotta keep readin’… it’s cool if I read the whole thing here, right?”
: I love how unrealistic this scene is. This is 2016, Ryuji would be reading that either on a laptop or on his phone. Anyway, we get five points to Guts and three to Ryuji’s confidant.
: Unfortunately, we’ve got more stats to grind.
: We need to go to Chihaya quick and get a boost to Guts.
: Two things I immediately wonder: does she call it “Yakuza” in the Japanese script, and does Persona exist as a movie in the Yakuza universe?
: I got an answer. In the Japanese script, it’s apparently a reference to a yakuza film called Outrage, which is also directed by Takeshi Kitano.
: Persona 5 takes place right around the same time Yakuza 6 does, so I’m imagining a 50+ year old Kiryu sitting in a movie theater and going “Man, this franchise really jumped the shark.”
: This, by the way, is not the only time Yakuza comes up in Persona 5. In Strikers (which released in Japan right around the same time Yakuza 7 did), Makoto talks about how she wants to see “Dragon: Like a Yakuza” in the theater.
: Ten points to Guts. Guts takes a total of 113 points to max, so we’ve gotten just over 10% of the total points we need to max it in one day.
: Funny enough though, Guts isn’t the first stat we’re going to max.
: “Um… do you think it’s weird if a girl likes movies like this?”
: “R-Really!? Thanks… I think this is the first time I’ve been told that. Sorry that I called you over so suddenly. It felt weird watching a yakuza film all by myself…”
: “I had fun, though, thanks to you. Okay, let’s start heading home.”
: Here’s the worst part of this. We’d have to do this even if we were on the reset-heavy route, because Atlus hates everyone.
: “Sorry for dragging you along.”
: I have to wonder if Akechi is like Lothric in Dark Souls 3 in that he was born in that sweater-vest and has worn nothing but the sweater-vest since birth.
: “I’m glad you like it. This suits you, huh? I wasn’t sure if you were the type.”
: “And we even got the second detective prince here, too - w-wait, what!?”
: “Uh, I’m just here for material on a fluff piece. Date spots for kids these days, that kinda thing. But what’s not important! Why are you with Akechi-kun?”
: I feel like they kind of forgot that Ohya works for a copyright-friendly version of Japan’s largest daily newspaper and not a teen magazine like Maya did. In fact, I’m not sure Hashino knew she wasn’t Maya.
: “I invited him out. We’re fairly close, after all. You are, huh…?”
: “Oh, uh… don’t mind me. I’m just a reporter. But who would have guessed you were friends with the famous teen detective? And unlike you, he’s pretty hardline anti-Phantom-Thieves, right? Mind if I ask a couple questions about you two?”
: “Oh, you’re down? I was just kidding. I’m no model journalist, but I’m not dumb enough to pry into a high schooler’s private life. I thought this report would be boring, but I got a nice surprise out of it.”
: “Well, see you next time I need info.”
: “You have some friends in the media, I see. And if I heard right, you two have some sort of professional agreement?”
: “Oh, I wasn’t worrying about that. Of course, if you have to explicitly deny it, then… no, just a joke. I’m sorry if I’m prying. You truly are interesting.”
: We’re going to start Iwai’s confidant tonight, but first… shopping time.
: The key thing here is to buy the Elysian Robe for Ann and Makoto, because the next boss’s favorite thing is spamming fear.
: “That was a custom gun that I modified to make it look as real as possible. …I had a customer who was interested in it. You helped me out by smugglin’ it outta here so that I didn’t get caught by those detectives.”
: “…You’re an accomplice now, so don’t go snitchin’. I got everything on my security camera.”
: Yeah, sure. “Custom gun” and not an actual handgun.
: “Look, the one you gave me only had one anime girl on it. I want one with the entire cast of Love Live on it, and I’m sure you have one.”
: “Huh… wanna talk in the back?”
: Joker has read exactly three pages of Upotte, which is about two more pages than most people are capable of reading.
: “…At your age? …Well, I guess you got the heart of an enthusiast. Heh, you’re a strange one, kid.”
: “…Wait a sec. chuckle Yeah, this could work. Hey, I can grant that wish of yours… but you better have the money. These things are worth hundreds of thousands of yen per unit. Sometimes they even reach the millions, depending on how I feel.”
: “S’that right? Look, I ain’t a bad dude. I’ve been known to compromise, from time to time. For example… you help me out with my ‘business’… smugglin’ goods, destroyin’ evidence… and as a reward, I’ll introduce you to the special menu, with good prices for a punk like you.”
: Iwai once attempted to save the President from being kidnapped by ninjas but just kind of gave up halfway through.
: “…Whaddya say? Not bad, huh?”
: “That’s on a need-to-know basis, and you don’t need to know. Gotta fight evil with evil… I need a pawn of my own. Don’t talk to no one about this. Got it? Just follow my orders.”
: He joined guns as an industry to end guns as an industry.
: “Now what’s it gonna be? You gonna take my deal or what?”
: “…That’s fine. Okay, I’ll work on that special menu for you. You should be grateful.”
: Can you believe we only have two more confidants left?
: “Oh, yeah. When I don’t got any business goin’ on, I’ll have you do some miscellaneous chores. Clean… run errands… there’s plenty for you to do around here. Must be pretty excitin’ for an enthusiast like you, huh?”
: “When I text you from that ID, it’ll be ‘cause I need help around the shop. Just so you know, if you get caught or anything, I never met ya. Nothin’ to do with me. We clear?”
: “If you want somethin’, you’re gonna have to work for it.”
: “Yeesh. Take it easy there, cowboy. You’re that eager to get into it, huh? I’ll send a message when everything’s ready. Hope I can count on you, kid.”
: I went back to the shop before doing anything to show off gun customization. You can equip one part, and it’s expensive enough that it’s usually not worth doing until near the end of the game.
: Then I stop off at Chihaya again, because it is time to sit.
: “This couch reminds me of Yusuke. I will buy it with the $3,000 I still have on me, and it will become our couch with no felines or horny people allowed.”
: “More comfortable than you will ever know.”
: Three points to Guts. I want a scene where Joker takes this couch to Leblanc and during the next Phantom Thieves meeting no one realizes Yusuke is there because he just blends right in.
: “Well, I was thinking of getting in shape first. And who better to help with that than Ryuji, right? Why don’t you join in too, Akira? We can train together!”
: “It’s pretty sweet, huh? Not too many people gettin’ in your way. Anyways, uh… what’re you tryin’ to do here?”
: “I want to slim down!”
: “Huh. You tried joggin’?”
: “Aerobics alone aren’t enough! I want to tone up too, so I need to start lifting weights. Plus my shoulders are drooping, I wanna make my biceps leaner, and I need to straighten my back out!”
: I’m surprised Ann doesn’t have some kind of back issue given her posture in battle.
: So what you’re saying is that YOU ARE HUGE, THEREFORE YOU HAVE HUGE GUTS! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR YOUR GUTS! RIP AND TEAR! HERE COMES THE NIGHT TRAIN!
: “Uh, what the hell’s that even supposed to mean…? Anyways, motivation’s good n’ all, but you’re not gonna be able to move tomorrow if you do all that shit.”
: “Then you come up with a training regimen for me.”
: “Ugh, you’re such a pain.”
: “Eff that. Quit thinkin’ you’re some sexy character in an anime. It’s sad watchin’ you like this.”
: “What!?”
: “First off, one of them sexy characters’d never come to the gym in their PE uniform.”
: “How am I supposed to know that!? I’ve never even been to the gym before today!”
: “Hi! Oh, yes. Definitely. Even a smaller article would be great! Huh…? It fell through? Yeah… Uh, I guess that’s okay… Mm-hm…”
: “I was supposed to be in two magazines the month after next, but apparently one cancelled on me. It was a black-and-white shoot, so they said I wouldn’t stand out.”
: “It sounded like fun though. It was about the everyday life of models…”
: “Guess you just gotta find somewhere you do stand out then.”
: “Huh… there has to be somewhere my vibrant charm will shine, right!?”
: “Yeah!”
: “Uh, where…? Hey, speakin’ of magazines, there was a real pretty girl in that one you said you were starrin’ in. She’s got this innocent vibe, but she’s sexy too. Now that’s what real charm looks like to me.”
: What you are about to witness is Ryuji walking right into his own death.
: “…Were there photos of me too?”
: “Uh, yeah.”
: “…And did she have long, brown hair?”
: “Yup, that’s the one! You know her!? You gotta introduce me, dude!”
: You know what? This scene didn’t suck. I think it’s the only one in Ann’s entire confidant I don’t hate, because it’s actually about Ann and not about Shiho or Mika.
: It kind of fills all the checkboxes. It’s a scene that’s actually about Ann [✓], doesn’t repeat information we already know [✓], and doesn’t overstay its welcome [✓].
: “But for some reason… I feel… satisfied…”
: “That’s what workin’ hard feels like. Not bad, huh?”
: “Yeah, that was actually… pretty fun. I think it was because the two of you were here with me. I had to prove I was working extra hard.”
: “It’s simple stuff like that that’ll help you keep pushin’.”
: “Dammit, I wish I had thought of that…”
: “Uh, this ain’t a competition.”
: “Mom forgot to buy stuff for dinner, so I guess I gotta head home now. Seeya, guys.”
: Joker reaches a hand out. “Wait. Put her on speakerphone.” Ryuji starts sweating, as he too is a secret orphan.
: “Ryuji just can’t say no when his mom needs help, huh. …I’m actually a little jealous of the relationship they have. I mean even growing up, my parents were super busy.”
: “They always told me I was strong, that I’d be fine on my own. I was free… but I was lonely. I’d make friends, but we moved a lot… and every time, I had to start all over again.”
: Did I say I didn’t hate this cutscene? Scratch that, it should’ve ended right when Ryuji left, and now Ann’s telling us shit we already know.
: “I actually got used to the loneliness… but that all changed once I met Shiho… the world seemed so hopeful. I heard her rehab is going well… she’s going to be officially transferring schools soon too…”
: God dammit this was SO CLOSE to being a good scene. So fucking close.
: “I need to show her that I’m working hard… and that she doesn’t need to worry so much about me.”
: “Right. She needs to see how much I’ve learned from her…!”
: I thought about it for a while, and I realized that if you think about it, we know less about Ann than we do about Makoto - even though this is Ann’s Rank 8 event and we’re at Rank 4 with Makoto.
: “Come on, let’s go home. …I might have trouble moving though. My legs are killing me.”
: Well, weird place to insert this, but while I was working on this update, I got a message on Twitter about what the phone says when the party is guessing for the navigation app.
: According to this, the phone is saying 該当しません which translates to “Not Found”.
: “Gah! Oogh… my muscles are so sore right now… going home took me more than twice as long as usual… but I’m really proud of the work I put in today. I would’ve just given up if I went alone.”
: “I’m so glad I had you guys with me. You two are the best! …I wonder if this is how Shiho felt with her rehab? Being able to push herself becomes someone was there with her.”
: “Wait, but what if she flat-out denied it!? That’d be so sad and embarrassing! But, well… no matter what, I’m gonna stay by Shiho’s side. I want to stick with her until the very end.”
: “Not much time left now until Shiho switches schools… I need to up my coolness so she can take off without worrying about me. …Gah! Oh! I forgot how sore I was…”
: We now need to use that Guts boost we got for a second trip to Kichijoji. I don’t know how you’re supposed to find half this stuff without a guide.
: Across from the accessory store is this building, which you can never go in and as far as I know doesn’t serve any real purpose. In fact, you might not even know what it is just looking at it.
: What’s kind of funny is that “Donut Shop” is actually the name of the business and not just a description. I had to look up the katakana because I’m bad with it, but it reads “Donut Shop 360”.
: “Here’s a pop quiz. How many donuts do you think this sign has?”
: “Mewhehe… are you sure about that?”
: “Do you think you got it right? The answer is…! Nope! Too bad! The answer’s 10! Did you see the donut on the left? That counts as one.”
: “Sorry to poke fun at you. But wasn’t it pretty exciting?”
: You get two points to Guts either way - three in our case because of the bonus. I’ll get it right in my next recording because I may have accidentally permafucked the 31st without saving again.
: We spend the night with Chihaya. Unfortunately, we don’t rank up.
: Next time, we’ll infiltrate the pyramid, kill most enemies in one hit, get Lilim to be even more overpowered, get amazing RNG, and make another bullshit overpowered Persona.
For two updates in a row now, I’ve put all my comments in an unsaved Notepad, and then just sort of left them around for long enough that you made a new update before I bothered to actually post them. So have some vintage Update 45 replies while I read Update 46…
Was I missing something, or did the game go “There’s going to be a school assembly” hard cut “Well there sure was a school assembly”?
And…
its not a real pyramid its the symbolic mental construct of a nerd who’s never even seen a real pyramid
Major props to that dude. Doing the important work. Now please hack Digital Devil Saga and find out what the damage formulas are. My children are dying inconvenienced by potentially inefficient stat distribution.
It seems that way, right? No, you’re not missing anything - they tell you there’s going to be an assembly and then they cut away from it. You might think that it’s something that was in the base game and removed for Royal… but that’s actually not the case, it wasn’t in the base game either.
Look, all Yusuke wants is his own Louvre pyramid.
I guess it’s just the nature of LPing but it feels like it’s taken a long time to get to what it feels like Makoto’s story should’ve been about. Also there is no way Makoto likes knockoff Yakuza because someone questioning the value in formal education and doing the “right thing” idolizes a protagonist following their own code at all times. I do not give the writers even a quarter of the credit required for that.
Click Here for Update 47
: Morgana forces us to enter the hideout, even though we’re going to do the dungeon today anyway. The problem is that we have a few things we need to do first.
: Like practically every day, we need to visit Chihaya… except today, we need to visit Chihaya twice. The first time is to boost Charm, the second time is for a Money Reading.
: We also need to grip and sip. Don’t forget that, because I actually did. Twice. The first time was because I went right to the dungeon, the second time was because I forgot to do Chihaya first.
: “…Battle tactic? Ohhh, you mean the stuff we talked about before the summer festival, right? Yup, still got it.”
: “Very good.”
: “What are you guys talking about?”
: “We’re simply discussing how it’s important to spice up our battle tactics here and there.”
: “Spice up your…?”
: “Eh, don’t worry about it! We’ve got something crazy to show you later!”
: “Oh yeah, all the other ones until now have just been normal cities outside of the distortion itself.”
: “Thanks to that, we didn’t even know we were in a Palace our first time goin’ into Kamoshida’s.”
: “That’s still part of the Palace though. The city may not have been distorted, but it was cognition. The Palace rulers may have been criminals, but they were social enough to know the city layout.”
: “But Futaba probably doesn’t… in fact, I bet she isn’t even interested in the outside world.”
: “Hence why the whole thing is a bleak desert… understandable, considering her lifestyle.”
: “I doubt many famous criminals are shut-ins like her though. Hopefully that means we won’t have to go through all this desert business in the future.”
: “That might not necessarily be the case. Many upper-class citizens travel by limo or plane, so they don’t know or care about city life…”
: “A plane…?! Damn, that sounds pretty good! I mean, wouldn’t you want to go to a Palace wayyyy up above the clouds if you could?”
: “I think a flying bank is quite enough, thanks…”
: “I have to say though, the topic of the area outside the distortion is fascinating. Depending on the criminal, there may be an exact replica of Tokyo within their Palace. I would love to examine the aesthetics of such a strange place at least once.”
: Funny he should say that, because the first dungeon in Strikers is Shibuya with a filter over it.
: “You don’t got a damn thing but art in that head of yours, huh?”
: “But it’s true that an observant criminal could have a true to reality city in their Palace… although even if such a place did exist, it’s not like we’d have any use for it.”
: The inside of the pyramid is now wrecked from the boulder… except for all the stairs the boulder rolled through to get here, which as we’ll see in a bit are untouched.
: I feel like “We might have to give up on it” was a common phrase in the writer’s room for this game.
: “No point sittin’ around though. Whaddya wanna do, Joker?”
: “Not a bad idea. Considering how humongous this building is, there have be other ways in.”
: “We will have to investigate every suspicious place we see, both inside the pyramid and out.”
: “Ugh, outside!? You mean we gotta deal with that heat again!?”
: “No complaining. Let’s begin our investigation right away.”
: So let’s leave, and then…
: “Yeah, I wonder why - I can’t believe you tried to crush us with an effing boulder! You want us to steal your goddamn Treasure or not?”
: “Hm, why don’t we make a deal? You wish to proceed further, yes?”
: “A deal, you say?”
: “There is a town nearby. I would like you to take back that which the bandit there stole from me.”
: "Oh yeah, I think I remember seeing a town on the way here.’
: “If you bring what was stolen back to me, I will give you a reward. I’ll even tell you how to proceed.”
: “Can’t you tell us any more details? Anything about this bandit, or what was stolen?”
: “You’ll learn all the information you need to know once you arrive.”
: “She said it’s nearby… we could probably see it from here, right?”
: “Good point. Let us observe the surroundings and search for any towns that may lie about here.”
: This part I don’t quite understand. They drove right past the town on the way here, and it’s the only town in this entire desert.
: They should’ve coded this so if you’ve already done this the first visit, Morgana would just go “Oh right, we saw that town the last time we were here. Do you want to just go there?”
: “Hey, isn’t that a town off in the distance?”
: “Yes, I can see what appear to be buildings over there.”
: “Want to head over to the town, Joker? It’s pretty far away, so this is my chance to shine!”
: And now we’re in… wait a second, isn’t this just de_dust2?
: We run into what is either Sandman or that one McDonalds commercial from the 1980s.
: Ann exploits their fire weakness and off we go.
: I could’ve negotiated, but then the red “show me the money” option came up and one thing kind of led to another and soon I was performing the Greatest Weapon in the John Persona Arsenal.
: There is uh, one minor problem though. Joker is so disgustingly overpowered that it’s kind of hard to not instakill things.
: This isn’t even close to the best I can do with the Greatest Weapon. Also as it turns out, the guide on Gamefaqs is wrong - I think the boost from Money Reading is actually 50%, not double.
: “Hm? What does he mean by ‘trader’?”
: “We don’t care about your welcomes. You’re a bandit, right? Just cough up the thing you stole.”
: “Wait! Ughhh, you just had to scare him off, Skull!”
: “Me!?”
: “We’ll have time to talk later. Let’s get after him.”
: I didn’t get a shot of the entire map, but this area is basically a maze with a couple of enemies in it, and then the big square area where we just met that shadow.
: That other red do you can see on the map is an Anzu, seen here being nuked by Makoto. God dammit Makoto that’s not how you do it, let me show you how you do it.
: Believe it or not, Joker one-shotting everything like this is kind of a problem when we go to perform the Greatest Weapon.
: The final encounter here was another Sandman, so I grabbed him solely for compedium completion.
New Persona: Sandman
Origin: Germany
First Appearance: Devil Summoner
Fairy who sprinkles magical sand into the eyes of children to make them sleep. Those who resist get their faces sat on, those who still resist get their eyes gouged out.
: Sandman is the definition of a trash-sona: horrible resistances, godawful moveset and really low offensive stats. I think I deleted Sandman the moment we got him because he’s not even good as fusion fuel.
: I remembered this part being kind of annoying in the base game, and so I looked up the archived LP of it and it’s actually the same.
: “We’ll never catch him if we do nothing but follow his path… we should corner him somewhere.”
: “Corner him? But how?”
: “Let’s use that square from earlier. We sneak around him and trap him in there!”
: All you have to do is run around the other side, and the shadow will run back to the big square.
: “Don’t talk to us like we’re the same as you! We came here to save Futaba-chan! Now give us back what you stole!”
: We’re up against Garuda, who in the base game was the first Persona to naturally learn Wind Amp. We’re uh… quite a few levels ahead of the curve on that.
: Garuda has exactly two attacks: Garudyne and Magarudyne. Thankfully, Joker had Anzu equipped, so…
: We actually do this entire fight without Garuda ever landing a blow. Ordinarily, Garuda (like most Wind Personas) is weak to Lightning… but we’re two levels away from being able to break the game with Lightning the way we did with Wind and Ice.
: Instead, we abuse his other weakness: BULLETS.
: Yusuke truly is the best boyfriend.
: And that’s how you fight Garuda without taking damage.
: “Is this… some kind of papyrus parchment? It looks like there’s something written inside.”
: “Hey, no peeking at a girl’s belongings without her permission!”
: “Y’know, just what the hell’s happenin’ in her heart? There’s this bandit, those weird voices sayin’ ‘you killed her’ and who knows what else… it’s a total freakin’ mess.”
: “So does this mean that even though she’s the Palace ruler, she can’t control what happens in here?”
: “I don’t know… I’ve never seen a case like this…”
: “Regardless, we have no more business in this city. Shall we head back, Joker?”
: Huh. There’s a hole where the Sphinx’s head should be. I wonder why that is…
: “Why are you letting them just do whatever they want? This is your Palace, isn’t it?”
: “All that matters is that the map is now yours. Just come further in and… oh.”
: This is pretty much my reaction every time we have to do Maruki’s confidant.
: “Oww… first a boulder, then this… did we piss her off somehow?”
: “I don’t think it has anything to do with us angering her… I suspect the problem is that she can’t control her instinct to push people away from her.”
: “A simple defense mechanism… considering what she’s been through, I don’t blame her for mistrusting others.”
: “Joker, let’s save her! We’ve gotta help Futaba-chan open the door to her heart!”
: “Come on, let’s look for a way back above ground. Otherwise this place is going to end up our tomb too.”
: This entire area is honestly kind of a clusterfuck to navigate. It’s got three levels and only certain parts are connected. This is a little less annoying than it was in the base game.
: We run into Lamia, which I had gotten a couple of times as a result from a fusion accident but didn’t save because I was trying to get Life Aid.
: They’re weak to Nuclear.
: They’re also very weak to ice.
New Persona: Lamia
Origin: Greece
First Appearance: Megami Tensei I
Libyan queen who fell in love with Zeus. Hera murdered all of her children, causing Lamia to go insane and become a baby-eating monster.
: Lamia is another trash-sona that I deleted almost immediately after obtaining. Also, someone should re-write that myth so instead of becoming a monster, Hera curses Lamia with “And now you will be in every bad monster girl anime ever!” Truly a fate worse than death.
: The best description I can give of this room is that you just kinda dick around until you find all the chests or find the door, whichever comes first. There’s nothing really great in any of them… apart from a worrying amount of items meant to protect against instant death spells.
: Oh, is that the sound of an even more bullshit overpowered Lilim? I think it is.
: As soon as we turn the corner, we get into a fight with Thoth.
: I’m not sure if it was an error on Atlus’s part, but for some reason, Thoth is level 36 - he outlevels the red shadow here. He’s not a particularly good Persona… apart from being the only Persona to learn Megido.
: And… fuck. As it turns out, you can negotiate with him for a Megido skill card. I haven’t actually finished recording yet, so I’m going to go back and grab one of those… and then reload until I get it to mutate into Megidolaon via fusion accident.
: There’s two ways we can go - one leads to the obvious exit, and then this room which is a mini-boss. Unfortunately…
: By the way, does anyone else hear anything strange? There’s this weird sound playing over the game audio. I know I’ve heard it before, but I just can’t place it.
: The other way has a red shadow. Let’s do this.
: Red Shadows in Futaba’s Palace are Anubis, and as you can tell from Makoto being dead in this shot, Anubis is not fun to fight.
: Anubis is the ultimate combo of bullshit - he has no weaknesses, has a metric shitload of HP, and has three modes, each of which takes a turn to activate.
: In “Light Mode”, he uses Hamaon to attempt an expel-based instakill. In “Dark Mode”, he uses Mudoon instead. Anubis always gets an extra Press Turn, so he does this TWICE.
: Then there’s “Balance Mode”. I didn’t get a good shot of it, but Balance Mode has Anubis use Maeiga and Makouga to do a shitload of Curse and Bless damage. You can see the aftermath here.
: Fortunately, Yusuke isn’t gonna stand for this.
: “At least we have secured our escape route. We can finally go about exploring this place now.”
: “Let’s use this as our entrance from here forward. It should be more stable than the front.”
: Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m just going to make a quick trip to the Velvet Room.
: Itemizing and resummoning Lilim costs like 20,000 yen… and this is the first of two times I wind up doing it.
: Unfortunately, we can’t really do much else with this alarm. There is a Persona I want to fuse, but we can’t do it just yet.
: While I was in there, I noticed something. During a Fusion Alarm, Caroline and Justine do the fusion dance from DBZ.
: There’s that music again! Is anyone else hearing that? Sounds kinda generic metal-ish?
: Oh fuck. I know what this song is.
: In Nocturne, Mot was a fight so infamously bad it became a meme. He had an ability called Beast Eye (which only enemies could have) that gave him something like seven extra turns every time he used it. It was very possible to die to him without ever getting a turn.
: Fortunately, Mot is pretty slow and has a major weakness to wind.
: He’ll also waste a turn doing this instead of alternating between Beast Eye and Megidolaon like it’s the PonPonPon song.
: Being Rattled (the name of the status effect) is P5’s equivalent of Stone or Stop in Final Fantasy. It removes whoever it hits from the fight.
: ONE MORE GOD REJECTED. Oh, right. He’ll also summon weaker enemies but honestly, we can kill those in one hit.
: This room has a bunch of little platforms we have to jump between, but it’s really not complicated.
: In one corner is this giant ballista.
: If we turn around, there’s a grappling hook spot we can use.
: “Think before you go touching that, okay? It might be a trap. Although, I’m curious about it myself…”
: “As they say, ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained.’ Very well.”
: I’m pretty sure ballistas don’t work that way, especially on what appear to be foot-thick blocks of stone. Then again, this is a magic mind ballista.
: “I’m not so sure about that… it looks like pressing that button has changed something in here.”
: “Yes, there is now light being cast on that door. It is a markedly obvious difference.”
: “You’re right. Let’s go take a closer look.”
: “So shining light upon the door is what caused it to unlock…”
: “Wait, doesn’t that mean we can open the door at the great stairs the same way!?”
: “That’s a definite possibility. In any case, we should push on.”
: “Let me see… ‘The light shed by the god of the underworld shall become the sign for those who traverse the pits.’ What could this mean?”
: This is another very vertical area that’s just a lot of holding R2 and climbing.
: Ryuji, we just fought and killed one a few minutes ago.
: “This is Anubis, the Egyptian god of the underworld. It seems to have some kind of shining orb…”
: I’m really surprised they didn’t change this from the base game. Anubis is the god of the dead, not the god of the underworld.
: “That sounds kinda familiar. Something about light from the god of the underworld?”
: “Hm, this may come in handy somewhere. Shall we take it?”
: Believe it or not, this is actually slightly less tedious than it was in the base game. In the base game, you climbed up sarcophagi to get here instead and the room took longer as a result.
: “The god’s name is Anubis. It really isn’t that hard to remember, Skull…”
: As soon as we grab the second gem, a bunch of sarcophagi in the walls open up and start spewing out shadows. This is actually a good time to farm, because the respawn logic is different than it normally is.
: Normally, it takes either two room transitions or a transition into a save room to respawn enemies. These will pop out enemies as soon as you get close.
: The shadow that popped out of the sarcophagus turned out to be this dungeon’s Treasure Demon - Stone of Scone. We also run into a Naga for the first time here.
: And there goes Joker, doing enough damage with the “flow” buff and a baton pass to kill the entire party twice over and then some. Atlus should’ve coded a thing where if you get a Lilim this overpowered she reverts to her Persona 1 form and starts absorbing everything.
New Persona: Stone of Scone
Origin: Scotland
Persona 5 Original
Stone used to coronate Scottish royalty. Later used by the English in their coronation ceremonies.
: If I had some way of making Lilim over again with the same skills but using this thing in the fusion, I would. It’s got all the second-tier single target spells and some really good abilities it can pass down.
: “That means we are directly above where we ended up after coming through the front entrance.”
: I like to think that Yusuke isn’t shocked by the fact that they basically just did a loop, he just gets like that any time he sees architecture.
: “We had to shine light on that one to get it open, right? Do you think this is the same mechanism?”
: I missed a couple of lines here, but let’s be honest, none of them were important anyway.
: We have to put both gems in, and then…
: “All right, we got it!”
: “So shining light upon it is what causes it to open. That is the same as the door underground.”
: “We can’t rest on our laurels though. Let’s stay cautious and proceed forward.”
: “…I don’t know if I’d phrase it like that. Anyway, let’s keep going!”
: The rest of the dungeon is split up into segments like this, with a door that needs to be opened and a second door that leads to where you open it.
: In the save room, we can get a pretty good look at what Futaba’s room looks like.
: I had another fusion alarm proc, but couldn’t quite use it yet.
: “That’s to be expected… we’re basically raiding her tomb, after all. We’d better be cautious as we go, you guys!”
: I fucking HATE how every character has the dumbass anime tic of saying “be cautious” constantly.
: “Talk about a close call… we almost found out what life’s like for a pincushion.”
: “How’re we supposed to get to the other side with the floor like this?”
: “This is the point where we check our surroundings carefully. There has to be something we can use…”
: I don’t know how I caught this, but Joker apparently T-poses while the grappling hook shoots out of what appears to be either his head or his shoulder.
: He then swings through arrows shooting out of the wall…
: And lands. I imagine Ryuji goes “Dude, what the fuck, did you just open your mouth and shoot out a grappling hook while T-posing?”
: On the other side is a room with another Anubis in it, which also has an obvious spike trap in the doorway. I couldn’t capture it working because it’s only on screen for a fraction of a second.
: “Yes, but unless we can do something about this trap, we will not be able to proceed.”
: There’s a hole we can jump over, and on the other side…
: Is Isis. She’s annoying more because she’s weak to Psi damage (and thus not easily instakilled by any of our existing super-nukes) than because she’s an actual threat.
: This next room’s just a lot of jumping across pillars.
: “Hold on, there’s an inscription on this stone slab here… ‘any who attempts to steal this gem shall be cursed…’ uhhh…”
: “Dude, we can’t let this ‘curse’ shit get to us, right? C’mon, let’s just take it.”
: So what does the curse do, you ask? It opens a couple of sarcophagi to spawn enemies, and if we try to progress…
: And also opens up an arrow trap blocking the way forward. What we have to do is return the gem.
: Right past where that arrow trap was, there’s a button we can press.
: Now that the spear trap is disabled, we can grab the gem and backtrack a room to that area.
: We run into Andras, and I think this shot tells you everything you need to know about them.
: I think this was one of the only encounters I skipped - I didn’t do the Anubis in this room because the party was one level away from being able to negotiate with it.
: Itaden Ofuda is another anti-instant death item. They’re basically there for when you go after Anubis.
: It’s a shame this dungeon is so meh design-wise, because it does one interesting thing that’s kind of hard to show off.
: In earlier dungeons, we had a ton of room to move and a ton of places to hide and get ambushes. Outside of me purposely getting spotted (say, to reset a room faster) it’s rare NOT to get an ambush.
: Futaba’s palace puts a lot of enemies on small platforms that are on the other side of a jump. There’s very few places to hide, and so in a lot of cases you’re only just barely getting an ambush.
: In the next room is another Anubis statue, but there’s a trap in front of it. I wish this was like Persona 1 and the game would just make going through the damage floor a viable option.
: Several minutes of running around a big, vertical square area later…
: “Let’s se… ‘Any who attempts to steal this gem shall be cursed…’ wait, it says the same thing!?”
: Does anyone else miss the Resident Evil 1 days of “There is a hole where something could fit. Will you use the gem?” because I sure do and I’ve never even played RE1.
: “But this statue isn’t actually holding a gem… what could be the meaning of this?”
: “Hold up, we got one with us. Wanna try puttin’ it in there?”
: “Hm, the atmosphere has changed in some intangible way… perhaps the curse has been lifted?”
: “That thing wasn’t even holdin’ a gem to start with! It ain’t fair makin’ us put one in! It don’t matter if this is some dog god or whatever… it just ain’t fair!”
: This actually isn’t the one that opens the next main area up. We have one more of those.
: Do you remember how in the other dungeons, finding the will seeds took effort and I almost missed a few of them? When you get here, Morgana will tell you there’s a will seed nearby. Can you guess where it is?
: A decent weapon for Morgana, but we have no reason to use him ever again.
: If you guessed “the will seed room is in this very obvious fork that you can just walk right into” you’re absolutely correct. I think the map designers just kind of gave up.
: This is the last room of this branch of the dungeon.
: “Odd. The design seems to be scrambled somehow.”
: “Maybe it’s kinda like a puzzle? Joker, can you change the puzzle?”
: Welcome to the world’s simplest slider puzzle. I don’t even know why this is here.
: “But what is it a picture of?”
: I think it’s like the artwork in Dwarf Fortress where it corresponds to a historical event only everyone is holding cheese and the cheese is screaming.
: “This adult seems to be reading something to a crying child? Hm, the emotions of the artist are oft depicted in the art they produce… I can sense… serious pain harbored in her heart.”
: That’s kinda right, this dungeon really isn’t the best. When I went through to work on the update, I had a really hard time telling what was what because everything’s the same color.
: “Is that voice coming from the mural?”
: So okay, hear me out here. This dungeon talks a lot, but says very little that we don’t already know. Now, what if instead of telling us pretty much everything about Futaba before we even got here, the game did it through… environmental storytelling?
: Get rid of these insultingly easy slider puzzles and just have the murals along the walls as you go through. Make them almost impossible to miss. People would understand the story without you having to explain every single fucking thing to them.
: “Based on its contents, it sounded almost like a suicide note…”
: “Could that be what Futaba remembers of her mother’s suicide?”
: God you know what I’d love to see? This dungeon done by Satomi Tadashi. Have Futaba as a kind of anti-Maki where instead of making a perfect dream world, Futaba has made one in which she really is the worst person alive.
: Like, as much as I knocked him in Persona 1 and Innocent Sin, I’m sure he’d still have done a better job than whatever this shit is. Granted, I’m sure the entire party (Joker included) would just be blatant copies of idols he’s horny for, but whatever.
: “But that’s the shittiest thing to do to a kid if that’s really how it all went down.”
: I went back to the first area to farm a little bit. All shadows in Futaba’s palace (apart from Anubis and Thoth) can spawn as disaster shadows.
: Joker does almost a thousand damage to that Anzu. And that’s without Nuke Boost or Nuke Amp.
: And now we can break the game again.
NEW PERSONA: Thunderbird
Origin: Native American Folklore
First Appearance: Soul Hackers
Legendary bird of Native American origin. Said to cause thunder and stir the wind with the beating of its wings. Features heavily in art from Native tribes along the West coast and Great Plains area.
: I fused Lilim with a Lamia to make Thunderbird. Like Lilim and Anzu, Thunderbird is special.
: Now, here I forgot something very important. Any time you fuse a demon under a fusion alarm, their name turns gold. I had assumed this only guaranteed a fusion accident if you attempted to fuse them again (which I had no intention of doing) but as it turns out that also happens if you try to itemize them.
: On a side note, how do you execute a bird that drains electricity on an electric chair? That seems… kinda counterproductive.
: Fortunately, we get what I was looking for anyway. Thunderbird itemizes into an Elec Boost card, or an Elec Amp under an alarm. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
: We didn’t get a mutation on Mazionga (which would’ve been nice) but Thunderbird is one of the first Personas to learn a -dyne spell naturally. We now have our third gamebreaker… and with Electric Bloodline, he can cast all electric spells at half cost.
: I also grab Anubis while I’m at it. We need him because he is one of the components needed to fuse Lucifer. Have I mentioned that I am going to grind enough to fuse Lucifer? I am.
New Persona: Anubis
Origin: Egypt
First Appearance: Megami Tensei
Egyptian god of the dead. Oversees mummification and weighs the souls of the dead against a feather.
: If he wasn’t a component for Lucifer, I wouldn’t have even bothered grabbing him. High SP costs combined with skills we already have on better Personas makes Anubis kind of useless.
: Anubis gave me a third fusion alarm, and I didn’t really have much to fuse (though in hindsight I probably should’ve gotten one of those all-boost accidents on a low-level Persona) so I made this instead by itemizing Arsene.
: “Huh? What is it talking about?”
: “I haven’t the slightest idea. It may be a hint of some kind.”
: Here’s a better shot of Andras.
: There’s a hole in the wall we can’t get through.
: The boulder knocked out that sarcophagus, so now we can go under the wall rather than over.
: This room has two rows of coffins in it.
: We also get a notification when we go to the top level that there’s a will seed, but there’s no obvious place for it to be.
: I’m going to skip a lot of the dialog here because it’s nothing dialog.
: “That may be a clue of some sort. Either way, we should search to see if anything has changed.”
: “Quite the impressive contraption. Why don’t we examine it closer?”
: On the other side is this button next to another stone slab. Have you figured out this insultingly easy puzzle yet?
: “It is the same color as the one from further in. There must be some meaning to all of this…”
: Pushing the button causes a security level increase and spawns an enemy, but does not put that enemy on alert… meaning you could also use this to grind.
: “Try touching it again, Joker. I see… so it’s possible to turn it back on as well. It looks like we should be able to turn the holograms on or off by accessing each control panel. Do you think this is related to that CODE from earlier?”
: We’ve got six holograms and a five-digit number. One of them is blue, and we have the message B01010. Naturally, this means turning off the first, third, and fifth holograms to the right of the blue one.
: While this cutscene plays out, I want to talk about my thoughts on this dungeon.
: My thoughts are this. This dungeon fucking sucks. It’s boring, samey, full of nothing puzzles and nothing dialog, and it’s hard to tell where I am in my screenshot folder because of it.
: They could have cut half of this place out and it still would’ve been too long. What was, for instance, the entire point of that first part where we had to escape the underground bit?
: Moreover, they went for some generic Ocarina of Time Spirit Temple shit instead of coming up with something vaguely original. And no, putting random binary on the brick textures is not originality.
: The thing is, we’ve been in this dungeon for over two hours at this point. Two hours of samey platforming bullshit in what looks like a 2008 game developer’s idea of “next gen” punctuated by battles we can win with a single button press.
: And the thing is, it only goes downhill from here. The next dungeon was totally reworked from the ground up because people fucking HATED it, and from what I understand it’s still boring.
: What gets me though is that this is shit they could have fixed in Royal. It’s a full-price re-release. Instead, we had Hashino shrug and utter the equivalent of “Well, can’t be helped.”
: “It’s broken… well, I guess it would be a little more precise to say we broke it.”
: “We can’t get through like this! What’re we gonna do!?”
: “Perhaps we could walk over the giant boulders? Let’s try it.”
: There’s two ways we can go. One way leads to the obvious progression route.
: The other way leads to this platform with another slab on it.
: “If this code is similar to the prior one, these would surely be hints for those buttons.”
: “To be honest, it somewhat reminds me of binary.”
: THE SMART GIRL!
: “That makes sense, given Futaba-chan’s hacker background. Well, let’s go see if anything’s changed.”
: “There should be some connection between that and the code that appeared on the stone slab.”
: NO FUCKING SHIT! It’s the same fucking puzzle we solved not even minutes ago!
: I swear, they were doing this to cover up for their godawful writing. Think about it. If they prevent you from actually thinking, you’re not going to notice that the game has no plot.
: Anyway, once we input the very obvious solution (turn off the coffin next to the red one, leave the next two on, and then turn the last two off) this door opens.
: Oh, right. In the base game, you had to do the second puzzle to get the boulder pathway to spawn. Otherwise, the puzzle was exactly the same.
: “I wonder what lies beyond it… I hope we’ll soon find out.”
: “By the way… what’s up with all the stuff here? Does it really represent Futaba-chan’s mental state?”
: “Hard to say, but… it does prove that she might not be as simple a target as we were hoping she’d be…”
: Going down the other hallway leads us right to this room.
: “This is the same mechanism as the one we saw before.”
: “Then we just gotta touch it and make something happen, yeah? C’mon, let’s try it out.”
: We’ve got ourselves another slider puzzle. This time, some of the pieces are rotated… and you can immediately tell which ones both by the picture but also by the fact that the game won’t let you rotate pieces that aren’t in the wrong position.
: “It seems the picture is complete.”
: “Is she… jumping in front of a car?”
: Nah, this is one of those Final Fantasy 6 things where she’s trying to suplex a car.
: “Could this be the moment when Futaba’s mother committed suicide? Hm? Another voice…”
: Here’s the thing. Imagine we didn’t know going in that Futaba’s mother had committed suicide. Imagine how effective this scene might’ve been. Instead, it’s just… not.
: “That’s horrible…”
: “So, did her desire to forget those memories cause her to repress them?”
: “We’re pretty far in now, right? This has to be past halfway.”
: This? This right here? This is practically Atlus ADMITTING this dungeon sucks. They have to fucking reassure you that it’s going to be over because for all you know there’s another six hours of this dumb bullshit.
: “Yeah, the Treasure is definitely close. You better be excited!”
: “Yeah, I guess you prolly wouldn’t be seein’ anything like this shit if we weren’t in a Palace.”
: “Seriously. This almost feels like a trip abroad or something.”
: “Hey, now’s not the time to be letting your guard down. I can sense lots of Shadows up ahead!”
: Yeah, we should proceed with caution. See? I could be a writer for this game.
: “It’s not a distance we’ll be able to jump either. What should we do?”
: We use the obvious hole in the wall that you can see on the minimap.
: We get into a fight with an Isis, but this time we get to see Makoto’s follow-up attack.
: The next area is a maze with some spike traps in it preventing you from getting the chest in the middle.
: The southern room has a button that disables the traps.
: The northern one has another tunnel.
: The button opens a couple of spawners and another button we have to backtrack to get. What is this shit, late '90s Rare?
: Joker remembers that Banjo and Kazooie are real and makes a note to ask them where he can find a big enough backpack to fit Yusuke inside.
: And this is why we have to backtrack.
: “This pathway of light is quite impressive. It seems will will be able to pass over it!”
: “It’s not gonna disappear while we’re crossing it, right? This is a little scary…”
: “It’d suck if we had to go through hell again ‘cause we walked up to her without thinkin’ first. So… what’s your call? You wanna keep goin’?”
: “Okay, but we should be careful.”
: “We almost did thanks to you! I mean, do you really wanna help us!? Make up your goddamn mind!”
: “Oh… not again! This is all because you picked on her, Skull!”
: Hashino must’ve been bored at this point, because we’re already doing boss re-fights.
: “This is my fault!?”
: Oh, right. I had mentioned in an earlier update about the buttrock cover of Last Surprise in Strikers, and this is as good a place as any to put it.
: Shoji Meguro had absolutely nothing to do with Strikers, and it shows.
: “Dammit, the hell’s up with her!?”
: “Can you just try to calm down? Nothing good will come of letting your temper flare up like that.”
: “She did say ‘there’s not much left’ though. The end of this Palace may be drawing close.”
: There’s another gem holder up ahead. You can actually see where I missed the gem on the map.
: I also grabbed an Andras, mostly because it surrendered to me.
New Persona: Andras
Origin: Ars Goetia
First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei
Demon Marquis portrayed as an angel with the head of an owl. Controls anger and rage, and is basically a demonic hitman.
: "Hm, this sight brings a tear to my eye yet again!’
: “You’re so freakin’ weird, dude…”
: We’re now headed back to the first room, except this time on the second floor.
: The chest is a weapon for Joker that’s almost but not quite as good as the Great Thief Stick.
: To get the last will seed, we have to kick this board down to form a shortcut.
: This allows us to grapple up to a platform that was being blocked by the board, and gets us up to the last mini-boss.
: Meet Alilat. She is very close to being an ultimate Persona - she’s the second to last in the Empress arcana but is arguably better than the actual ultimate.
: I was trying to keep Thunderbird out to get it EXP, but I had to switch to Principality to exploit Alilat’s fire weakness.
: Note that even weakness hits will barely damage Alilat.
: After several turns of fire followed by All-Outs, the game gives me a Showtime to finish it. I took it since I wasn’t sure if there was enough HP left to get another All-Out for the extra cash.
: Fortunately, the money won’t matter much. You’ll see why in a bit.
: The Crystal of Wrath gives you Auto-Sukukaja (speed/accuracy up) when equipped. The improved version from Jose gives you a skill called Wings of Wisdom that heals most status effects off the entire party.
: Wings of Wisdom would be pretty useful for the boss… if we had time to go to Mementos, which we don’t.
: “I’d expect so. Joker, if you please.”
: “It may be a rather difficult puzzle for us to solve…”
: Same deal as the last one, only this time most of the pieces are rotated.
: Okay so like, I get that the weird bird thing in the top-right is supposed to be Wakaba’s monitor… but what’s the other bird thing in the top-left supposed to be?
: “Yes! We’re done!”
: “A child pulling on her mother’s clothes?”
: “The one clinging to her mother would be Futaba-chan, right?”
: How… it’s literally right in front of you! I get that you’re a fucking idiot but still!
: God dammit. I went to record the night time part of 7/31 and the boss fight and just found out none of my screenshots took.
: “Is that the maternity neurosis the voice from earlier mentioned?”
: “I thought it was pretty normal for a child to want to spend time with their parents, though…”
: “Yeah. Looks like Futaba was a pretty lonely kid growin’ up…”
: “So these incidents compounded, forcing her mother to suicide?”
: “Huh?”
: “Don’t say that!”
: “Futaba-chan!”
: “Why’d she get so quiet all of a sudden? What happened to that snarky personality?”
: “Could her heart perhaps be growing weaker?”
: “We have to hurry and save her!”
: So uh… here’s the thing. I kind of lost the recording for the last part of the dungeon, and there’s a couple of parts I couldn’t re-record due to saving over them after getting the RNG I needed.
: There’s one (very small, basically a glorified tutorial) cutscene I missed and I also got a Megido skill card off a Thoth off-screen.
: “Hm? This door…”
: “It looks familiar…”
: “Why ain’t it openin’?”
: “It must be her cognition that no one can enter it.”
: “So the Treasure’s through here?”
: “Indeed. However, you need my permission to open this door.”
: “Then open it for us.”
: “I cannot. You must have her invite you in.”
: “What the eff. Ain’t this your Palace?”
: “What’s she mean, Mona?”
: “The Shadow is Futaba, but not Futaba herself. In other words, we need the real Futaba’s permission.”
: You see, each person has two horses inside of them. One is horny. The other is horny. Unless you’re Joker, in which case both horses are gay instead. Judging by the outfit, I think we can assume Futaba’s shadow is the horny one.
: Speaking of horny, a couple of days ago, I saw a post on my Twitter feed about Jane Jensen, the writer for Gabriel Knight.
: “So, we need to have Futaba-chan open her room and let us in?”
: After Gabriel Knight 3, when Jane Jensen left Sierrra, she tried a couple of things. She made another game - it’s called Grey Matter and is more of a horror thing. She also wrote a couple of books that uh… didn’t do well.
: These days, she apparently writes trashy gay romance novels. Anyway, I got a copy of one of her books (not the trashy gay ones) for like $3 just to see what it was like.
: The book is called “Dante’s Equation” and even though I’m only about 200 pages in, as far as I can tell the plot is about a rabbi who discovers a magical Kabbalah-based radio wave that makes people so horny they vaporize.
: It has a lot of things that read like novelization of Grace’s segments in GK3 and a character who is Gabriel Knight if he wasn’t a vampire and/or werewolf hunter.
: “Right. She’s a serious shut-in.”
: “How will we convince her to allow us entry?”
: “Standing around here won’t help. We’ll just have to give it a try… that’s what she wants, after all.”
: “I think that we should do it too, even if it means we have to force ourselves in.”
: “Someone sure is stoked about this.”
: “We have no choice but to sneak in again.”
: “Joker, it’s your call when we do this. Make sure you think of some excuses just in case Boss catches us.”
: Unlike the other dungeons, we don’t need to take a full day to send the calling card. We’ll send the card and fight the boss on the same day.
: “We’re countin’ on you, Leader.”
: “On that note, is everyone clear on what needs doing?”
: “Oh, that reminds me. Gimme the calling card. The one Alibaba sent us.”
: “What are you going to do with it?”
: “We’re the Phantom Thieves, you know? We gotta announce this. If the Treasure’s there when we get the room open, givin’ this to her will let us take it right away. Queen, help me think of what to write.”
: “I suppose…”
: After this scene, I decided to grind a bit. As I mentioned earlier, I went and farmed Thoth for a Megido card and leveled everyone up to 36.
: I also hit a new record for the Greatest Weapon. Unfortunately, all my (lost) attempts at replicating this didn’t work out: we simply do too much damage to be able to loop negotiations.
: Oh right, that cutscene we missed. After you see the scene at the elevator, you’ll get pulled into the Velvet Room and given access to a new mechanic: the Gallows.
: The Gallows sacrifices a Persona to immediately level up another one and transfers a skill at random. I used it to level up Thunderbird to get Ziodyne… though on this run, I didn’t wind up keeping him.
New Persona: Arahabaki
Origin: Japan (hoax)
First Appearance: Megami Tensei II
Japanese god who little is known about. The real god was likely associated with medicine and ironworking, but the portrayal of him in the Megaten series comes from a forged historical document “discovered” in the 1970s. While he looks like a dogu, dogu actually have nothing to do with Arahabaki.
: We want Arahabaki for the boss, because it will allow Joker to win while doing absolutely nothing. I had to fuse Lilim and Thunderbird to get him, but it’s worth it.
: By the way, one more thing. BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE DUNGEON, ENSURE YOU HAVE AN EMPEROR PERSONA ON YOU. I didn’t the first time and that was a permafuck.
: “We finally secured our route to the Treasure! All we need to do now is send the calling card.”
: “Indeed… we have finished the prearrangements, and now we shall face the true test. But this is no time to panic, Joker. Let us ensure we succeed after having come so far.”
: “…There you have it. Sounds like a pretty important task got pushed on you. No point in thinking about it now though. We have to do it. Once you’ve made up your mind, just give the order as usual at the hideout.”
: We have a one-day gap between the palace and the boss, but it’s short and involves Yusuke.
: We now have a new ritual apart from gripping and sipping every Sunday. Every single time we return from a dungeon (or Mementos) we will be calling Kawakami for a massage. This is why Kawakami is so powerful.
: “I might have quit my job, but it’d be complicated if a teacher visited her student for personal reasons… I can’t get found out, you know. I hope you don’t mind me dressing like this when I come help you.”
: Joker: “Dammit Kawakami I thought you were over being horny, screw this I’m calling Yusuke.”
: “So? What do you think about the amount of force I’m using, Masterrr?”
: “Right? I’m a professional at this, after all. Huh. Your body is pretty fit. What the heck do you do to get it like this?”
: One hundred pushups a day, one hundred situps a day, and never being horny.
: I forgot that we actually could’ve gripped and sipped tonight, had we missed it earlier.
: We wind up with almost 810,000 yen… which is admittedly more than I had on the run that didn’t record.
: And now we can use our night slot to advance Chihaya’s confidant.
: “But… I suppose my divine power isn’t completely absolute, huh?”
: “It’s not that… I just need some time to accept that reality. You know, I’ve wondered in the past whether fate really can be changed… but I always concluded that it was something beyond our control.”
: So what you’re saying is that you’re one of those people who think that there’s nothing left to chance, a host of holy horrors direct your aimless dance, and you live on a planet of playthings that dance on the strings of powers you can’t perceive?
: “Almost like the laws of nature. Eternal… impossible to defy… and yet, there exist people like you who can ignore those laws and impose their own will upon the world…”
: “How can you become one of those people, Kurusu-san?”
: Joker: “Smoke some weed and listen to a Rush mixtape. Don’t even try telling me you don’t have weed, you absolutely have weed.”
: “Trust in myself, instead of my fortune telling? I’ve never thought of it that way before! This city keeps finding ways to subvert my expectations…”
: I don’t think she’s being sarcastic here, but it sure sounds like she is.
: “There was nobody like you back in my hometown in the country, Kurusu-san. It was a small, traditional town deep in the mountains, populated almost entirely by older people…”
: Joker: “Okay so what you’re telling me is that you lived in a town where everyone was in their post-horny stage of life. Where is this village again? I need to ask Yusuke his opinion of the mountains.”
: Chihaya: “Oh, you’ve got the wrong idea. They’re like goddamn animals.”
: “The youth there are forced to be strictly obedient to their elders as well. Not explicitly, of course… oh, and there’s a small shrine in the center of the village. There, I…”
: Got locked in the shrine as the result of daddy issues and then had the shrine lit on fire and just barely escaped with your life, traumatizing a group of kids for life?
: “…It doesn’t matter anymore. I left that place to come to this city. It means nothing to me now!”
: She saw one of those Gwyneth Paltrow catalogs with the $60 vagina stones… even though that was 2017.
: “That’s why I sell Holy Stones. I want to help those who suffer from inescapable fates similar to my own. But… now I wonder if they really do much of anything.”
: Of course they didn’t!
: “After all, you managed to change the destinies of my clients without one. It is truly possible to alter fate with nothing more than mere words, attitude, and passion?”
: “If that’s the case, I won’t be needing this. I’m going to confront fate head-on, with my own strength. Although… the chairman would be really mad if he found out.”
: “O-Oh, don’t worry about that! Just forget about it… unless you want to suffer my curse, that is. Anyway…! If fate can be changed… maybe even mine can be corrected, right? It didn’t work for me before, but perhaps this time…”
: “R-Right! I look forward to our continued exchange! At least, until I can manage to change my fate… oh, and I’ll be sure to put some extra effort into my fortune telling for you!”
: “Thank you for today, Kurusu-san. Good night.”
: “Thank you so much for today. To be honest, I’m still feeling a bit lost… but talking to you about everything is helping me feel a little better.”
: “Oh, nonsense! That couldn’t be further from the truth! Talking to you helped me realize what I should really be doing! I can only hope my fortune telling is enough to pay you back somehow…”
: Joker runs his hand across the top of the 800,000 yen sitting in his pocket. “Yeah. Yeah it is.”
: “Kurusu-san… I’ll be putting in a lot of work from now on. Even though I can’t even imagine changing my own fate… but I will figure out some way to make it happen. I hope I can count on you to help me through the process.”
: “Until next time!”
: “Yusuke’s coming here tomorrow, huh? He’s definitely making the most of his summer vacation… yawn I’m going to bed…”
: Uh-oh. Next time, we’ll have Joker’s boyfriend over again, fight a giant furry, and win that fight thanks in large part to doing absolutely nothing.
I got this pic last week from an artist (@Kabaddia1 on twitter) depicting what might happen if the Joker in P5 was also the Joker in Eternal Punishment. I’m sure it’d be more interesting than whatever passes for a plot in the actual game.