Click Here for Update 36
: “No, I was up very early, shooting a news show. I have much more work in television because of the Phantom Thieves.”
: “I have permission from my school, but it’s still tough to do both. …Ah, I can’t keep complaining. Well, let’s both do our best today.”
: She acts like it’s abnormal for it to be hot and humid in the middle of summer.
: "Oh yeah. In Japan, when the rainy season ends, we say that it ‘opens.’ "
: “But in English, it’s more common to hear people say the rainy season ‘comes to a close’. Be careful! Expressions for the weather are totally different depending on what country you’re in.”
: “Now then.. Mr. Kurusu! Which of these animals is involved in an English idiom about the weather?”
: I have to wonder if questions like this are there to make up for all the ones in Persona 4 that no English speaker would be likely to know.
: “That’s right! Raining cats and dogs. ‘Raining cats and dogs’ means it’s pouring rain. The strongest theory for its origin is that the sound of rain resembles that of dogs and cats fighting.”
: “Some other European languages describe bad weather as ‘dog’s weather’ too. Additionally, in Norwegian they say it’s raining witches, and in Polish they say it’s raining frogs.”
: “Each country has its own way of describing heavy rain - and its own metaphorical substitute falling from the sky.”
: “Oh yeah, over here they say that when a cat washes its face, it rains. I clean my face every day because I like being clean, and lemme tell you, that’s a load of bull.”
: “Oh, uh, but I’m not a cat, of course.”
: The Showtime attack with Ryuji and Makoto unlocks I believe the day you send the calling card for Kaneshiro, so you won’t ever have it for the dungeon itself.
: In hindsight, I probably should’ve just made my own schedule for 100% because then I could have screenshots of this ready to go, but that’s what Youtube is for.
: All of the videos I could find of it had spoilers, so I’m not going to link a video of it.
: “Ah- Hey, Makoto!”
: “Hm? Is something wrong?”
: “Nah, nah, it’s nothin’…”
: “Well, it definitely doesn’t seem like it’s ‘nothin’ to you…”
: “Uh, so… I’ve been doin’ a little thinkin’, and… how do I put it.. I guess I was thinkin’ about comin’ up with a new move - like a special tag-team move, kinda thing.”
: “So, I got this idea while playin’ a video game, and… it’s a move that’s gonna need your help..”
: “My help?”
: “Know what? Never mind. I just saw something like it in the game and thought it looked cool… when I try to say it out loud, it seems too insane..”
: “Insane, huh? So, in other words, you may have come across a special attack that outclasses any of our previous moves?”
: “I wha…?”
: “Why don’t you tell me your idea? By the way you described it, it must be a pretty good one.”
: “Uh, alright.. just.. don’t get mad at me, okay?”
: “I… see…”
: “Heh, so stupid, right!? Yeah, I was just jokin’! Haha.. please forget what I said.”
: “…That could work.”
: “Yeah, that could work - wait, what?”
: “But, if we’re going to do this, we’ll have to push ourselves harder than ever before. Think you can keep up?”
: “Yes, ma’am! We’re gonna show 'em the real meaning of pain!”
: “We should probably get going now, though. I wouldn’t want to make everyone else wait.”
: “Yeah!”
: “I would agree, but it will not be an easy task this time.”
: “Yeah, nobody actually knows him…”
: “There’s so goddamn much I wanna write on the calling card too…”
: “Oh, Akira! So get this, I was talking with Makoto earlier and we came up with this insane move!”
: “Well… it’s a bit difficult to explain with words alone..”
: “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything! Alright, so the plan is…”
: Ryuji and Makoto’s Showtime is one of the few that has a similar name in both versions. The English name is “Max Moxie” while the Japanese one is “Mad Mix”. Did anyone tell Atlus that Mad Max wasn’t a spaghetti western?
: And before anyone says Mad Max was technically a western, it wasn’t a spaghetti western.
: In the English dub, Ryuji goes “Get ready for the Fist of the Phantom Star!” I’m not sure if that reference persists in the Japanese voiceacting, because all the people who recorded this on Youtube are tasteless cretins who prefer the dub.
: So like.. was her elbowing him part of his plan?
: It’s hard to see in stills, but she’s doing the whole Fist of the North Star thing.
: So like, okay, which parts of that did Ryuji actually plan?
: This is probably my least favorite out of all the Showtime attacks, by the way. They should’ve done something based on The Fast and The Furious and had both of them on motorcycles.
: “So it’s just like how it reacted with Lady Ann and I last time? It doesn’t react at all at other times, though… I don’t get how this thing works.”
: “Instead of granting wishes, maybe it just offers a bit of support…? As long as it benefits us in some way, I’m happy.”
: “Then let’s give it a try when there’s an opportunity. Make sure to match my timing, okay?”
: “Yes, ma’am!”
: Today, all we’re doing is sending the calling card.
: “Now the question is, how do we deliver the calling card to him?”
: “Yeah, we don’t know where he lives…”
: “Hm? Why not use the same method as before?”
: There’s a couple of Personas that turn into some pretty good armor that opens up after the Kaneshiro arc is done, so I’ll be using that Black Robe to save some money.
: We spend the night crafting again. I’m reasonably sure we have enough lockpicks to last us the rest of the game, so I just make some useless stuff.
: “Hm? Read it.”
: “I said, read it!”
: I’m just imagining Kaneshiro meeting Joker in the boss arena and it doing the Yakuza thing where it explains what family he’s from, and all he sees is “John Persona Family Patriarch - A Division of the John Persona Clan - John Persona”
: I’m also not sure if it’s a coincidence or not, but the Yakuza games often use the title “Menacing Man” for any subquest-related enemies.
: “What of it?”
: What’s funny is that the game goes into the whole idea of Kaneshiro being a dead man even if John Persona doesn’t kill him - if he confesses he’s probably going to die in prison. Hell, if Yakuza 7 is anything like reality there’s a chance his patriarch would kill him even if he didn’t confess because of the dumb shit he was pulling.
: “Don’t waste your time worrying about this useless shit. Just keep quiet for now.”
: “Grr… all of you, bring me your earnings! If you don’t surpass your quota.. I’ll kill you.”
: “Hey, we’re leaving.”
: “A good idea, no? Given the theatrical nature of this one, Kaneshiro must surely have been contacted about it.”
: “You truly are the brains of this Phantom Thieves operation! Ryuji, you should follow her example!”
: “Y’know I’m the one who went postin’ it everywhere, right!? I even had to get all dressed up so they wouldn’t notice me!”
: “Come now, we don’t have time for idle chitchat. Let us get moving.”
: “We’re going up against a truly horrible criminal this time…”
: But Ryuji, Mara isn’t in this game! At least, not in his usual form.
: “Makoto! You remember how all this works?”
: Oh, right. I’ve been playing this game called Enchanted Arms recently (I’m probably going to do an LP of it) and the main character is a dumbass to the point of being completely non-functional.
: That game also has a party member named Makoto (who is a campy gay guy) and the main character’s English VA pronounces his name like “Mac-otto”. I can’t tell if it’s on purpose or not, because the other VAs can pronounce it just fine.
: It is absolutely canon that Ryuji pronounces Makoto’s name this way. I refuse to believe it isn’t.
: “Once we steal the Treasure, the Palace will crumble and the Palace ruler’s heart will change.”
: Why they’re still telling me this when I’ve already seen it twice, I have no idea.
: “Wow, you got that quick! I think Ryuji’s still struggling to comprehend it all…”
: Just to show how pointless the last save point is, I started from before the elevator and ran all the way down here.
: “He was waitin’ for us!”
: You can actually dick around the boss arena if you want - for some reason, the game doesn’t just proceed right to the boss fight.
: “A safe!? This wasn’t here the last time we came! He changed the entire room so quickly… tch, I guess this Palace isn’t a bank for nothing.”
: The room hasn’t actually changed, apart from the back wall.
: “I’m surprised you made it here alive. It seems you are quite lucky.”
: “Lucky? Don’t be ridiculous.”
: “We’re gonna change your heart and make you confess everything you’ve done. That’ll save all those people who’re suffering 'cause of your shitty actions.”
: “Even the police’re strugglin’ to deal with you, so this’ll make the public believe in us too!”
: “Those in power work the ones below them to the bone for money. Such is the hierarchy of the world. Just accept your fate as a source of my wealth!”
: “We’ll never agree to that!”
: “And hierarchy? You have to be out of your mind.”
: “Still! Don’t you think you’re getting back at the wrong people?”
: “What a pitiful man.”
: “It doesn’t matter whether you’re clean or dirty! Only the clever come out on top! The strong and the smart devour the weak. That is the natural order of things.”
: Kaneshiro is clearly on Team Chaos, since this is almost word-for-word the way the Gaians describe their plan in SMT 1.
: “You damn brats who think you know the world through the shit you read online will make perfect prey.”
: “Hmph. He is utterly hopeless.”
: “It’s always the fools who get tricked! Fools who have to pay for their foolishness. And if those fools don’t learn, well they have to suck it up and stay as plain, stupid fools!”
: What is he, Franziska von Karma?
: “Will you just shut it already!?”
: “I guess there’s not much point saying anything to you fools! This is where my gracious lecture ends. Now then, I hope you’re ready to work as slaves here for the rest of your lives.”
: “That’s outrageous!”
: Kaneshiro starts bulging at the seams, which is kind of unnecessary given what his demon form is.
: I don’t quite understand why the goons run away when they’re constructs made by Kaneshiro’s brain, but whatever.
: Meet Bael, which is just Kaneshiro in a dumbass halloween costume.
: I like that they just mirrored the textures on the goon’s jacket so the text is backwards. Not that I’m blaming them, given this is an asset that’s in all of what, two cutscenes?
: That thing looks a lot like the time machine from the end of Earthbound.
: That cutscene was way longer than it needed to be. Welcome to the Kaneshiro fight, which was utter bullshit in the base game unless you understood the gimmick.. which I kind of just ignored.
: Basically, you get a turn or two of Piggytron just sitting still and not doing anything. It’s got some pretty high magic resistance, so even Principality doesn’t do a whole lot.
: I did this fight wrong on purpose because we’re so overlevelled and I wanted to see if I could do it. Ordinarily, you wouldn’t want to bring Yusuke because Missile Party is a full-party fire attack.. which Yusuke is weak to.
: If he downs anyone, Kaneshiro will then follow up with Ocular Vulcan, which spreads out a number of weaker Gun-type hits among the party. We’re so overpowered that there’s no reason to give a shit.
: This attack was the bullshit one. When you get this message, you’re supposed to change targets to Kaneshiro himself - doing enough damage will knock him off the pig and give you time to hit it.
: Instead, I just keep nuking it.
: After one turn of spinning, if you haven’t knocked Kaneshiro off, he uses March of the Pigs. March of the Pigs was a guaranteed instakill in the base game on anything that wasn’t a New Game Plus file, even through guard.
: Needless to say, the damage on it was reduced significantly for Royal, specifically because a lot of people got hit by this assuming they could guard it and didn’t know about targeting Kaneshiro himself.
: I was planning on dying just to show it off, but then I didn’t and was just like “Fuck it, I’m just gonna do this in one take”.
: At this point, I just put Joker on heals (he can bring the party to full from near-empty in two Mediaramas) and had everyone else continue nuking the pig.
: The pattern repeats from there as long as you haven’t knocked Kaneshiro off his pig - he’ll use Super VIP Form, charge, and then use March of the Pigs.
: The base game did this too.. even though you had to have figured out the gimmick in order to get this far. Naturally, we’re not going to be throwing any items because fuck engaging with game mechanics.
: If you do choose to try it, you get a choice of three items and there’s a chance that Kaneshiro stops his attack.
: The problem is that the only items that work are ones you probably don’t want to throw away: things like Beads, Bead Chains, and SP restoratives.
: Basically, the only difference between doing the fight correctly and what I’m doing is that doing it correctly would take longer because we’d spend a full turn attacking Kaneshiro every three turns.
: In the base game, the fight was over when you took out Piggytron, but the developers decided that wasn’t tedious enough.
: In this form, Kaneshiro will do nothing but spam Lullaby every time his turn comes up.
: He and his bodyguards will then follow up with Technicals.
: The game does a very bad job explaining this, but basically, the “Bodyguard for Hire” (the big fly with the shields) will step in and take any damage Kaneshiro would take. The other one doesn’t do anything.
: Both of the flies resist everything, except one absorbs Curse and one absorbs Bless.
: This is about the worst way you could possibly go about doing this. Trust me, I tried it. I spent four or so turns doing nothing but using Dormina and other sleep moves on the bodyguard.. and none of them landed.
: I did manage to sleep the other fly, but it just wakes up after a few turns.
: Here’s a much, much better strategy. Have everyone just use damage spells on the bodyguard and technical whenever possible. This way you’re at least doing damage to it and not wasting your turn trying to put status effects on it.
: Now, here’s where you can tell this fight was just intended to be pure tedium.
: At half health, Kaneshiro will use Make it Rain.
: This does a shit-ton of damage, but Joker completely evades it. From what I’ve read, it’s scripted to be unable to actually kill anyone.
: The next turn, he’ll use it again, only this time a single coin falls down and does nothing.
: If the other fly is still alive, it’ll leave at this point.
: Even though Kaneshiro stops fighting back once he runs out of money, you still have to kill him, because I’m not sure Atlus learned anything from the base game.
: In fact, now I’m kind of interested in seeing the changes they supposedly made to the fifth dungeon. The fifth dungeon was a lot of backtracking and the boss was a source of a lot of complaints.
: It wasn’t until after the fight that I realized there’s probably a better strategy: have Ann use Fire Break (which removes fire resistance) on the bodyguard so she does full damage.
: “I’m not gonna let anyone have it.. this is my money…”
: “You stole it all from innocent people!”
: “Fine. I’ll call off the debt…”
: “Fine? You’re still soundin’ pretty condescendin’.”
: “You’re right… I’m a poor, ugly idiot.. how am I supposed to live a normal life like this?”
: “It’s all because of our society! Weak people can’t lead a happy life, no matter what they do! I’m a victim too, you know!? Yeah, none of this is my fault!”
: “The more you talk, the more pathetic you sound.”
: “I just wanted a place where I could belong! You get that, don’t you!?”
: “Bullshit! All you did was surround yourself with people you could use, solely for some easy money!”
: “And you think you’re the only one who’s gotta deal with bein’ labeled? Me.. and all these other guys.. we’re all fightin’ against that!”
: “But don’t worry. You’ll finally have a place where you belong. Somewhere you can make amends, for the rest of your life.”
: “We’re gonna do somethin’ about that distorted heart of yours. Free of charge.”
: “I’m glad you understand. Now hurry up and return to the real Kaneshiro.”
: It sounds like there should be a line between Ryuji and Yusuke, but there isn’t. I checked both my recording and a couple others.
: “Seriously? You guys don’t have any tact. Especially with that incredible power.. these Palaces could net you loads of cash! You could do whatever you wanted to people’s hearts!”
: “We’re not like you!”
: “Where do you find meaning in that naive sense of justice? You know, there’s already someone out there taking full advantage of what Palaces have to offer…”
: “What?”
: I kinda wish he’d say something we don’t already know.
: “Is that… the same person Madarame’s Shadow spoke of?”
: “Spill it! Who’re you talkin’ about!?”
: It should already be pretty obvious who it is. I knew going in because the game had been heavily spoiled pre-release, but even not knowing it should be pretty obvious.
: “Don’t even bother. You are nothing compared to them… better be careful… a chance encounter with them could prove fatal..”
: “We can think about that later! Grab the Treasure - there’s no time!”
: “In that case, we should take that large one.. wait, what!?”
: “T-Treasure…”
: “What’s gotten into him!?”
: Joker immediately reaches for his air horn, and motions to everyone else that they should just forego the van and run away.
: In the Gay Joker Edition of the game, Joker does one of those slow-motion dives and blasts Morgana with a fire hose before he can reach Ann.
: “You shouldn’t throw animals, dammit!”
: “Enough, already! Let’s get it in, everyone! Hurry!”
: How they had enough time to load all those giant gold bars (which would probably need to be moved with industrial equipment) is beyond me.
: “Owww…”
: “I think I cracked my ass..”
: “Ann, are you all right!? Is yours cracked as well?”
: “Of course not!”
: “Isn’t it supposed to be though?”
: “Urgh, that’s not what I meant! More importantly, it’s dangerous for us to just charge out like that!”
: “Ack! Everyone’s staring at us!”
: RIP Morgana, killed by his own hubris.
: “That briefcase..”
: “It appears to have been the cause of Morgana’s demise…”
: “That’s not what I meant! Isn’t that Kaneshiro’s…”
: “You mean his Treasure!?”
: Joker looks at everyone and asks if anyone wants to say a few words. No one does.
: “How about at karaoke?”
: “We’d have security cameras to worry about there.”
: “Oh, I got the perfect place.”
: “That’s right!”
: “I was just in the mood for some coffee too.”
: “And we need to fix Morgana up!”
: “So… warm…”
: When I recorded this, I had no idea why Morgana was crying and then realized that it’s because Ann is applying antiseptic in the background.
: “A rotary lock, hm?”
: “…I knew it.”
: “How did you get that?”
: “I simply memorized the combination. I saw him open and close it so many times, after all.”
: This part I don’t quite get. She was on the floor for most of the initial confrontation, and Kaneshiro had the lock on the briefcase facing away from her.
: “W-Well that’s… scary. But amazin’ too!”
: “Urghhh, that burns… hey, hurry up and open it!”
: “H-How much is this?!”
: “I believe one stack is one million yen… hm?”
: “One, two, three… uhhh, there’s thirty of them in here!?”
: “You have to think bigger than that…”
: Let’s be real here, if Morgana got any of that money it’d be in Ann’s pocket within a day. Either that or spent at some kind of hostess club that allows animals.
: “Not to bring down the excited mood… but does this look like money to you?”
: If I wasn’t doing that thing where I name all the boss updates after what demon the boss is, I would have named this one “300,000 Bison Dollars”.
: “F-For real!?”
: “I guess this represents.. how everything he did was an act to make himself seem tough?”
: I know writers who let their readers come their own conclusions regarding the plot, and they’re all cowards. Actually, wait, no I don’t.
: “Noooooooo!”
: “Well hey, at least it feels like we totes busted this case, right?”
: “What do you mean? Is busting a case good or bad?”
: “Both!”
: “Snrk… chuckle Ahahahaha! To think the reward for the Phantom Thieves is feeling they ‘totes busted’ the case… ahhh.. how funny!”
: “Hold on a second. Even though the contents were nothing more than trash, the case itself is quite nice.”
: “All right then, let’s sell it! Glad we got that sorted!”
: “By the way Morgana, have any of your memories returned?”
: “No, not at all…”
: You know, I’m not sure what would be weirder - a world where Morgana hits his head and starts going after women of his own species, or one where he continues to thirst for human women.
: “Something like that. He does remember searching for Treasures though.”
: “Hm. I hope your memories return soon then. So… what happens next?”
: “First, we wait for Kaneshiro to have his change of heart.”
: “It’s gonna be big this time. People’re gonna make a huge deal out of it, for sure.”
: “Hey, you know what Kaneshiro said at the end there? About that ‘criminal’ using the Metaverse..”
: “Yes, I was bothered by that as well.”
: “No point mullin’ over it now. Let’s wait and see how Kaneshiro’s change of heart goes first. We should prolly just lay low for a while.”
: We’ve actually seen the last of Kaneshiro. Unlike Kamoshida or Madarame, Kaneshiro doesn’t have a breakdown scene.
: They’re talking about Kaneshiro, and I’m not sure “phishing” is how I’d describe what he was doing.
: “All we need to do now is let the results come rolling in. We did great today though! Public opinion of us should skyrocket after this!”
: Tonight, we’ll be watching ICU.
: Joker went from “Man, this daytime TV drama is kind of stupid” to “Man, this daytime TV drama is kind of stupid.. but the lighting is okay.”
: “Same with Kamoshida, and Madarame too. They hurt and exploited others just to satisfy their desires… still, there were people around them who noticed their terrible deeds, weren’t there?”
: “I wonder why they turned a blind eye… why doesn’t anyone help?”
: “So it’s because they don’t have the courage. Humans are so weak. Humans.. hey, do you think I’ll really be able to become a human?”
: No, because you’re merely 90% post-Persona 4 recycled content as opposed to outright being Teddie.
: “When I touched the Treasure… some memories came back. I tried to force myself to forget, but… I really may not be human…”
: “Talk about a lukewarm response. Now that I think about it, I gotta be human. I am the core of the Phantom Thieves, after all!”
: We get an ability that I will never be using. I think the only time I ever had Joker use a melee attack in the base game (once I got the SP adhesives, anyway) was against the one enemy I know of that’s actually weak to physical damage.
: “You’ve defeated the repulsive fiend of gluttony this time. chuckle Well done. I am glad to see you have devoted yourself to your rehabilitation.”
: “You are not worthy of such kind words, inmate… I suggest you treasure them.”
: “Do you recall the whispers about that strange man?”
: “Even a chicken could remember something so important! Don’t sound so cocky about it!”
: I’ve been playing through 13 Sentinels Aegis Rim recently, and it kind of sucks coming from a game where I could get invested in the plot (even if it uses way too many cliffhangers for my liking) back to this crap.
: 13 Sentinels more or less has the opposite problem P5 does: the story is pretty good, but the actual gameplay parts consist of “Set up the guy with the railgun, have him kill everything, you can’t lose”.
: Unfortunately, I can’t LP it because someone else (actually, the guy who is doing the other LP of Royal) took it.
: Not that I’d necessarily want to, because I have about 30% story completion and already know more or less what the entire story is.
: “This is about the cases of those people who shut down, is it not?”
: “Indeed… I speak of another with powers similar to yours. If you are to complete your rehabilitation, you may encounter him eventually… yet another thing for me to look forward to.”
: “It would be greatly troubling if you were to not strengthen your abilities. I shall grant you an ability befitting of your newfound growth. Consider it a gift.”
: This is going to be useful for when we finally get around to doing Caroline and Justine’s confidant.
: I might do a couple ranks of it soon, because it opens up a couple of Personas you can’t otherwise get. The problem is that most of the abilities their confidant gets you aren’t useful until the end of the game.
: Next time, we’ll be back to doing confidants again. The “More Like Yusu-gay” updates will begin soon after that. I may need to delay just a little bit (doing 2 days instead of 3 at one point) to give Eligap enough time to finish the Rank 5 cutscene.