Click Here for Update 28
: It’s 6/10, and time for another long day of cutscenes and plot dumps.
: “Hello, everyone!”
: “Even I’ve found it to be quite a surprise. It is a bit embarrassing though…”
: “Ah, yes. That would be the scandal involving the master artist Madarame.”
: “If they truly are heroes of justice, I sincerely hope they exist.”
: I don’t think there’s a cure for how much of a tool he is.
: “But hypothetically speaking, if these Phantom Thieves are real..”
: I am very surprised no one has done a remake of this scene where it’s Joker being interviewed and he just goes “But hypothetically speaking, if these horny people are real… (cut in) I believe they should be sent to horny jail.”
: “What the artist Madarame did truly was an unforgivable crime. However, they are taking the law into their own hands by judging him. It is far from justice. More importantly, you should never forcefully change a person’s heart.”
: “I have to say though, I would be embarrassed if it turns out these Phantom Thieves don’t exist. If that were the case, I’d summarize it into a report as a school project.”
: It’s weird to me that it took the writers this long to have a character put forth the idea that there are no Phantom Thieves and that they’re basically just a blackmail group.
: “Of course they do!”
: When I was recording for this update, I saw the sign and was like “Wait.. that doesn’t make sense, it only says 17” but then I realized it’s probably a sample size of 50 people (it starts near 50) and it’s counting the number of people who responded positively - 17 is 34% of 50.
: What’s funny is that they took the effort so this would make sense, but overlooked things like Kawakami calling Joker on his cell phone from the maid service after she told him specifically not to do that so it doesn’t leave evidence behind.
: “I’m a bit surprised. That’s higher than I was expecting. I’d love to hear some more detailed opinions on the Phantom Thieves’ actions.”
: “Hahaha.”
: He says this even though we picked just about the weakest option there is. Also.. did he just wink at Joker? He does realize no one wants to date a cop, right?
: “In that case, there’s one more question I’d like to ask.. If someone close to you, for example, you friend next to you.. if his heart suddenly changed… wouldn’t you think it was the work of the Phantom Thieves?”
: I don’t really get what like.. the angle is for people who are into the whole Joker/Akechi ship. I’m not gay myself, but like, why? He seems like he’d be the absolute dullest person to date.
: “The matter of how they change people’s hearts. If they honestly possess that ability… it could be used for more than extracting confessions. It could be that what seem to be ordinary crimes are actually being perpetrated by these methods..”
: “Oh, please don’t misunderstand. This is all purely hypothetical.. it is only if people who can use such a power truly exist. Either way though, this cannot be ignored.”
: “The existence of the Phantom Thieves would be nothing but a threat to our everyday lives. To be honest, I’m already working alongside the police to help sort out this matter.”
: “He made it sound like we’re the baddies. I don’t like it.”
: “But that stuff about the police.. do you think it’s for real?”
: “He can say whatever he wants. The justice of it all is something we can decide for ourselves.”
: “Oh sorry, I gotta go take a leak. Can you guys wait here? I’ll be right back.”
: “Oh my god.. I’m gonna keep going, okay?”
: “To paraphrase Hegel, advancement cannot occur without both thesis and antithesis..”
: Joker looks him right in the eyes and goes “I have a boyfriend, and I don’t date cops.”
: “Few people around me are so willing to speak their minds as freely as you did earlier. Adults are only interested in using the young, while they simply do as the adults say.”
: “There are too many irresponsible people in these modern times. I can understand why you’d support the Phantom Thieves. It’s possible that this group is just as you believe and they are truly acting with good intentions.”
: “Since they have special talents, I assume their hearts must be burning with a sense of justice and duty. But that justice is merely a facade concealing their lack of true strength.”
: Oh god I know what this is. He’s trying to make Joker his “project”.
: “That’s why I believe, if a truly powerful opponent were to corner them, they would flee without a second thought.”
: “Oh…? You really are intriguing. I bet you’d make for a worthwhile debate partner on the subject. If it’s all right with you, would you continue sharing your thoughts with me?”
: “Thank you, that’s great news. I sense something in you that’s quite different from other people. I guess you can call it my detective’s intuition? Haha, kidding, of course.”
: Unfortunately, we’re forced into a confidant with him.
: I am very, very surprised that no one at any point has made a late-80s/early 90s cop movie called LA Justice.
: “..And, registered. Well, I hope to see you again sometime soon.”
: “A detective’s intuition, huh? We shouldn’t underestimate that. On the other hand, there’s an awful lot we could learn from him. If he contacts you, try hanging out with him.”
: “I can’t stand that high an’ mighty attitude! Just breathin’ the same air as him makes me sick. C’mon, Akira. Let’s go.”
: “That detective Akechi seems to have a lot of influence on the media. It’d be dangerous to get too close to him, but he may actually prove useful in some situations.”
: I got a notification that the Thieves Den updated, so I went and checked on it. Nothing much new, just more Morgana being horny for Ann even in Joker’s head.
: Anyway, tonight we’re calling Kawakami again. Get ready for another confidant event..
: While this seems like a permafuck, it’s not. Sometimes, and we’ll see this more frequently as we progress with some of the later non-party-member confidants, you simply have to spend time without getting a rank-up.
: Royal cuts down significantly on this by adding the phone calls - though why they did that instead of just adding more points to the regular events, I don’t know.
: In these cases, we get a generic scene like this.
: “Looks like people still don’t think we’re real…”
: “Let’s see him do it, then! If someone else could help ‘em, we wouldn’t be doin’ stuff as the Phantom Thieves to start with!”
: “You’re being way too loud.”
: I kind of wish the game would stop beating me over the head with the fact that Ryuji isn’t exactly tight-lipped about the whole John Persona thing.
: “Who cares? Everybody’s talkin’ about this stuff anyways. It’d just be more suspicious if we keep whispering.”
: “Hey, you really just gonna keep eatin’ and eatin’ and eatin’ those things all by yourself!? Gimme some!”
: “Sorry, just ate the last one.”
: “You guys are too laid back. The police are getting involved now, you know.”
: “So you think it’s true? We’ll be okay if we keep doing this.. right?”
: “We can’t let the cops scare us outta bein’ phantom thieves.”
: “But.. what about that weird guy from Madarame’s Palace? Isn’t there a lot we don’t know?”
: There’s an audible camera shutter sound.
: “The hell!?”
: “Are you snoopin’ on us again? We said before, we don’t know nothin’.”
: “Why do you think I’m here to question you? Could it be that you’re hiding something? My ears are always open to the troubles of my peers, you know.”
: “You’re really that hungry for a good letter of recommendation? Of course you are. Nobody would take on your annoying job if they weren’t.”
: It means you’re a badly-written character and only get as much screen time as you do because you’re Hashino’s favorite character.
: Seriously though, it makes sense that Yusuke could be controlled as easily as he was by Madarame - if he didn’t comply, he’d be out on the streets.
: With Makoto, there’s.. I guess a vague threat of “I’m going to blacklist you from college” and “I’m going to end your sister’s career”, but she’s supposed to be “the smart girl” and you’d think she’d realize that these are basically empty threats.
: “…You’re student council president, right? Wouldn’t you have known about Kamoshida?”
: “Of course not! He honestly was a good teacher until that day…”
: Translation: She ABSOLUTELY knew.
: “Oh, but you always take the teacher’s side. That’s what a good council president does, right?”
: Keep in mind that Makoto is supposed to be the main love interest in the base game, when she’s doing shit like accusing a girl who was almost sexually assaulted in place of her friend of not doing enough.
: “There’s no need to shout.”
: “If those Phantom Thieves are out there helpin’ people… I’d root for 'em, no questions asked. They’ve gotta be more dependable than some people I know.”
: “… Just make sure to show up to your classes, all right?”
: “I’d be ashamed to let it end now..”
: “Hell yeah. It’s about time we find our next target too.”
: " ‘A criminal group with unknown goals that does whatever it wants in the name of justice.’ Huh…"
: “It’s prolly 'cause of Akechi… TV’s got some crazy sway.”
: “He’s free to deny our actions, but being cursed by his influence is another thing entirely.”
: “Just when we were starting to get people to believe in us too…”
: “All we gotta do is take down another hot shot, yeah?”
: “… Well, do you have any ideas who this next ‘hot shot’ could be?”
: “I ain’t got a thing yet… dammit, this is real irritatin’… by the way, what’s up with that luggage?”
: “What’re you gonna do then? You can’t go back to that shack, right?”
: “I was planning on staying at Takamaki-san’s - I mean, Ann’s house.”
: I think we all know whose house he actually wants to stay at.
: “I’ve even prepared a thank-you gift. I hope it’s to your parents’ liking.”
: “WHAT!? There’s no way that’s gonna happen!”
: Of course not. This is a carefully-crafted gambit.
: “Impossible…”
: “You’re the impossible one!”
: “That’s not the issue here! Seriously though, what’re we gonna do with him?”
: “Here” of course, meaning at Leblanc and not being a kind of shitty way of telling Yusuke to be homeless (which is what sleeping at a manga cafe would imply).
: “Well, seeing as Yusuke is an important member of our team.. I’ll lend a hand! Come stay at our place! It’s dirty, but at least you’ll have somewhere to sleep!”
: Morgana is doing this because he knows that Joker is now the anime dog-boy who finally caught the car and now has no idea what to do.
: “Don’t you two live in a cafe? I’ve been wondering about that for a while. Yongen’s not too far, is it?”
: “Nope! And the cafe’s only a minute walk from the station!”
: This should be “minute’s” and I’m amazed that this is only the second typo in almost 25 hours. Not like a certain other game I’m LPing.
: “How about we go there now? We can have a party to celebrate Madarame’s change of heart!”
: “Ooh, good idea! We can make it a welcome party for Yusuke too!”
: “All right, it’s decided!”
: “It’ll be up to you to convince the chief.”
: “This place looks so outdated.. I can’t say I hate it though.”
: “People refer to that as ‘retro’.”
: “Hm? Who’re they?”
: How long has it been since we’ve last spoken to Sojiro for any reason?
: “Hello!”
: “A girl too…?”
: “Akira has really helped us a lot lately.”
: “Heh, I bet you’re the ones doing all the helping.”
: “No, really, he’s been great.”
: “Huh.. sit down. This round’ll be on the house. You’re helping though.”
: “Oh yeah, I remember now! I think I’ve seen Leblanc mentioned in a magazine before…”
: “That was a long time ago.”
: “For real? Gimme a taste.”
: “It’s so bitter! This has gotta be cruel and unusual punishment!”
: “Eh, I didn’t drink coffee when I was a kid either.”
: I still don’t drink coffee.
: “These’re your friends, yeah? Go on and take them up to your room. No need to stay down here.”
: “Ooh, I wanna see!”
: “It’s only an attic.”
: Joker looks Yusuke right in the eyes and says “Yes, an attic. The kind of attic that has no closets.”
: “Man, that bitter taste just won’t leave my mouth…”
: “Thank you very much for the drink.”
: “Up these stairs? Oh, and thanks for the soda!”
: “Ann. Ann Takamaki.”
: “Ann-chan, huh.. that’s a nice name. You got a boyfriend?”
: The LP of the base game on the archive insists this is Sojiro being “creepy”, but it’s pretty clear he’s trying to determine if she’s dating (or will be dating) Joker.
: “Nope. Never have, either.”
: I think we all know at this point that the only romantic interest she has is Shiho.
: "Hey, you gotta get up here! This place’s freakin’ insane!’
: “Go on.”
: “Oh, right! Thank you for the coffee!”
: You know, I’m starting to realize that none of the writers (or probably the art people either) ever had a cat. That bag would be covered in cat hair, even on the outside.
: “It seems quite ordinary to me.”
: “For real?”
: “See? Ain’t this crazy?”
: “It’s cleaner than I thought it would be.”
: “What!?”
: “Well, sit wherever you’d like.”
: “Even those who previously believed in us have been influenced by the comments made on TV.”
: “This is all that effin’ Akechi’s fault!”
: “Keep it down. We don’t want anyone hearing us.”
: “At this rate, we’re just going to worry everyone instead of give them courage…”
: “We need to find a way to make our rightfulness known to society. It’s time we think about our next move. You were planning on discussing that today, right?”
: “Yes. First, we need to search for a candidate.”
: “It’s not like we’re just gonna stumble upon some important target though. You guys don’t know anyone, do you?”
: “I don’t…”
: “Me neither…”
: “Whaddya think, Leader?”
: “I’ve been lookin’. There hasn’t been anything good out there lately though.”
: “Plus, it’s not like anyone ever talks about the big targets on there.”
: “Dammit.. we’re never gonna prove Akechi wrong at this rate!”
: Loud stomach groaning noises.
: “And you spent all your money on that box of sweets!?”
: “Dude, how much did you have?”
: “Anyway, we’ll just have to sit tight until we can find another target. So.. how about that welcome party?”
: “Someone’s excited.”
: “Can’t we make hot pot on it?”
: “That sounds great! I’ve heard that eating hot pot together brings people closer!”
: Nah, that’d be chicken parm, the number one dish among couples.
: “Anything with meat’s fine by me!”
: “I only ask that we finish it off with porridge. Extra parsley, of course.”
: “So, what do you say?”
: Joker has to set his future boyfriend straight when it comes to post-hotpot dining.
: “Whaaaat!?”
: " ‘What’, my ass! You don’t have any cash! C’mon, let’s go buy ingredients."
: “Well, I’ll need gingko nuts, wonton wrappers, and…”
: “We’ll take care of the shopping. Could you borrow a pot from downstairs while we’re out? We can split the cost later.”
: Somehow I forgot to capture Sojiro’s line here.
: “As you should be. Food always tastes better with friends. Her name was Ann, right? She’s a nice girl.”
: “She said your friend doesn’t have anywhere to go. Asked if I could take him in for a bit. I guess she thought it’d be too pitiful for you to ask, since you’re already freeloading.”
: “Hmm… where did I put that pot? Try looking around.”
: “Ah, you found it. It’s almost time for the others to get back from their shopping trip, so I’ll leave you be. I’ll be down here for a while though.. just be careful with the fire, okay?”
: This cutscene-within-a-cutscene replays the segment from the TV station that we’ve already seen, so I’m going to skip most of it.
: It tastes bland because the last time Makoto used spices you spent hours interrogating her over who had taught her to use them.
: “But I’m relieved. A lot’s happened, but it seems your grades haven’t dropped.”
: “School’s been going fine. I’m more worried about you, Sis. Are you tired? You’re probably lacking sodium.”
: Oh, I’d say she’s plenty salty, all right.
: “Do I seem so?”
: “…Is it a crime to manipulate someone’s heart?”
: “…Depending on the means, yes. He’s absolutely right.”
: “Even if it makes someone admit their evil deeds and helps make them pay for their crimes?”
: “Why the sudden interest?”
: Who taught you to be interested in things!? You couldn’t have formed likes and dislikes on your own! Answer me, dammit!
: “It’s nothing…”
: “Do you believe that these ‘allies of justice’ exist?”
: “…Of course not.”
: “You don’t need to think about such unnecessary things. …You understand what I’m trying to say, right?”
: That you’re a badly-written, gender-reversed clone of Katsuya in Eternal Punishment, only without any endearing personality traits and a tendency for asking stupid fucking questions?
: “Study hard and go to a prestigious college…”
: “Moving up in the world is difficult as a woman. Yet, you can’t do much if you don’t have the authority. I’ll use every method necessary to make it happen.”
: Like waterboarding.
: “All you need to do is remain focused on what must be done for your future’s sake.”
: “…Sorry.”
: “…Oh, that case.”
: “…What must be done… justice…”
: “That was delicious, Lady Ann. I’m sure you’ll make a wonderful bride some-”
: I was going through the screenshots I took, and for some reason Ryuji just kind of falls over and clips his head through the work desk. He’s upright again in the next screenshot.
: “What’s wrong, Yusuke?”
: “…We haven’t finished our meal. What about the porridge, or even udon?”
: “Just leave it for next time, man…”
: “She’s asleep already!?”
: “It’d be weird if she wasn’t tired. We should let her sleep.”
: “By the way, Ryuji.. how do you know Ann?”
: “Huh? Oh, we went to middle school together.”
: “What was Lady Ann like back then?”
: She was gay. Very, very gay.
: “Not so different from now. Once we got to high school, we ended up in different classes and stopped talkin’. I don’t think she had many friends.”
: So.. she’s Lisa Silverman?
: “I see.. so, what about you two?”
: “Us?”
: “You know every detail of my past at this point. It’s only fair you tell me every detail of yours.”
: “So you got nothin’ to lose, huh? All right, I’ll tell you. It’s just a normal story about a rotten kid though. My dad left when I was young.. ever since then it’s just been me and my mom.”
: “I was actually tryin’ to get a track scholarship so I could make things easier for her. In the end, I just screwed it all up. Turns out I’m a pretty bad son, huh?”
: “Back when I was a first-year, my mom got called out to school for me raisin’ my hand at Kamoshida. All the teachers kept houndin’ her for what I did, but she just stayed quiet through it all…”
: “So that’s what happened.. they say at school that everyone is equal, but in reality that’s a gross oversimplification… I understand how you feel.”
: “Well, when it comes to gettin’ labeled, nobody’s got it worse than Akira.”
: “Is this about his past?”
: “Now that I think about it, we never have heard the details.”
: This guy’s basically a Yakuza villain.
: I don’t like that they basically retcon the entire thing from Joker pushing this guy to it actually being that he just kinda fell over.
: Here’s my real problem with this scene though. In things like the Yakuza games, this kind of thing works because Yakuza takes place in a fantasy world where every single cop is receiving millions of yen a day from the yakuza.
: That this entire scene is kind of badly written?
: “Goddammit! You got an assault on your record just for that?”
: “The woman sounds quite horrible as well. She’s stayed quiet this whole time..”
: He’s a blatant ripoff of a character from Eternal Punishment, so probably wherever Satomi Tadashi left the script for EP.
: “You can’t remember, huh? Well, it was at night, and I’m sure you were in shock after getting arrested. I understand all too well the pain of not being able to remember important details of your life.”
: “The victim’s personal information is always kept secret. Identifying that man will prove difficult.. besides, the courts already made their ruling, didn’t they?”
: “Even if we manage to get revenge, Akira’s past record won’t go away.”
: Seriously I want to know who was in charge of doing animation for Ryuji for this cutscene. Did they accidentally mocap a piece of spaghetti or something?
: I’m just imagining a mocap tech bursting into an office somewhere. “Shit! Boss! I accidentally mocapped spaghetti!” “Again?”
: “And those in power don’t do anything to help the situation.”
: “Can’t we fix this though? Nobody would even know.. we just need to show the world what true justice is. We’ll make them come to their senses.”
: “You’re right, Yusuke! That’s gotta be what our powers’re for!”
: Someday, I want to make an RPG with a status effect just called “spaghetti” where it replaces the mocap feed with one taken from a pile of spaghetti being dropped on a plate.
: “Sounds good to me. The flashier our missions are, the cooler we end up looking!”
: “You’ve all taught me so much.”
: “Oh, sorry.. did we wake you up?”
: “Nah, not really. I’ve been up for a while now.”
: I swear that Lisa says this exact line in Innocent Sin at one point.. and she kinda does, except she’s talking about Maya. It’s in Update 3 of the Innocent Sin LP - I’m not going to copy it here because this update is long enough as-is.
: “Do you think it’s because our backgrounds are so similar?”
: “Well, it sure ain’t 'cause of anything good.”
: “Similar, huh.. I’m the only one who doesn’t fit in…”
: “Hm?”
: “I don’t have a past to look back on… no memories…”
: “Whaddya mean? We could search the whole world and we wouldn’t find a bigger misfit than you. And the reason we’re goin’ to Mementos is to get your memories back, right?”
: “I’m sure your past will be just as troubled as ours.”
: “No doubt.”
: “Hmph, we’ll see about that!”
: Yeah, I remember when he was a bear and also named Teddie.
: “Look, I’m helping you guys out for my own sake. Don’t get me wrong! If you don’t get stronger, investigating Mementos won’t be anything but a pipe dream!”
: “That sure was a quick turnaround. One second you’re depressed, the next you’re actin’ all tough…”
: “All joking aside… let’s take this seriously. We should go as far with it as we can… I want to punish those corrupt adults and give courage to people in trouble… only we can do that!”
: “Ha! You can say that again!”
: “Being a member of the Phantom Thieves will surely help me grow, both as an artist and as a person.”
: “Of course. You’re under my tutelage, after all. There’s nothing we can’t accomplish!”
: “Well… I hope we can keep this up. We should be all right with you as our leader.”
: This is easily the longest day we’ve had in a long time, and while we’re close to it being over.. not quite.
: “Oh, that reminds me! The owner said you’re free to crash here, Yusuke.”
: “That’s… very kind of him.”
: “You convinced him, didn’t you? You go, Miss Older-Dude-Charmer!”
: “What kind of nickname is that!?”
: “Hm, I won’t be able to sleep unless I take a bath…”
: “There’s a bathhouse nearby, so you can go there. I won’t be able to join you though.”
: If there’s no shower at Leblanc, does this mean Joker has to use the bathhouse to bathe? That just seems.. I dunno, inconvenient.
: “Ooh, that sounds great! I wanna come too! How 'bout you, Ann?”
: “You guys go on ahead. I should get going. Well, good night, Morgana!”
: No, don’t…
: Encourage him. Dammit.
: The old guy in the background just continually cranks the hot water, to the point where the valve should’ve broken before this conversation is over.
: “It’s a bit hot though…”
: “Old guys like it hot, for some reason.. I’m sure he’ll stop eventually. You know, I’ve been wonderin’ for a while now.. but what do you think about Ann? As a girl, I mean.”
: Noncommittal gay response.
: “No, that’s not what I meant… c’mon, can’t you act a little more like a guy our age? Doesn’t she at least look better than a celebrity?”
: “Please don’t. Seriously…”
: “That aside, we need to hurry and find our next target.”
: How many times have they repeated this exact fucking line in just this cutscene alone? WE KNOW ALREADY! FUCK!
: “About that though.. is targetin’ famous people enough? Seein’ people’s reactions these days has been makin’ me think twice about what we do…”
: “…True. Pursuing only what’s best in the short term may end up becoming fruitless for us. We need a strategy to appeal to the public…”
: One problem I have with the characters in this game is there’s a lot of moments where they stop feeling like actual people, and this is one of them.
: “Oh? Whaddya got in mind?”
: “Do I look like someone who could come up with such a thing?”
: “Hmm… Hmm… Still…”
: “…Ughhhhh! It’s frickin’ hot!”
: “…I can’t stand it anymore! Anyways, let’s meet up again early next week. I’ll contact everyone!”
: We can’t do anything tonight, since it’s an all-day cutscene.
: Apart from listen to Morgana be horny for Ann.
: Next time: more confidants. More overly-long cutscenes. More of me wondering if this is a game or a movie.