Colors Flying High - Let's Play Persona 5 Royal

[LaZodiac]

@Timrod

I hate that you can read this as Yusuke being in the closet, and Ann just picking away at it anyway because she’s clueless.

Mona isn’t the only one having a hard time getting a door open, I see.

@Timrod

Oooh, I get it now. Fox is the best character.

[Timrod]

@andromeda

It’s just extremely disappointing that a lot of the characters accidentally come off as queer coded even though the game wants to desperately convince us that, no, they are straight and we don’t have to worry. Like I just want the protag to be as queer as I am but we’ll never get that in P5 despite how much it would’ve made sense for Yusuke to be interested in Akira because of how he comes off, and for Ann to be seen as in love with Shiho. I wish Yusuke was gay, or at least a little bicurious.

Yeah. I think he’d be a more interesting character if he was outright gay - or at least, if his s-link was about Joker getting him out of the closet and into his arms (or optionally, someone else’s arms if you choose to be straight). Instead, we got something that I honestly remember none of even though I did the 100% route in the base game.

@LaZodiac

Oooh, I get it now. Fox is the best character.

You have no idea how many shots I had to throw out because for about half the frames his face is on screen he looks like a total doof.

[LaZodiac]

@Timrod

You have no idea how many shots I had to throw out because for about half the frames his face is on screen he looks like a total doof.

The curse of between-frames strikes once more v_v

[andromeda]

@Timrod

I loved Yusuke’s transformation when I played the OG P5, it was raw as hell. His expression here is also amazing - makes me wish they kept up with the whole ‘aggressive’ tone that Yusuke’s transformation had. Instead, he just… becomes weirdo, I guess.

@Timrod

: Here’s those two unused content videos I mentioned. They use a couple of default models, and in Madarame’s case use his old man portrait instead of making a new one.

I had no idea these existed, but man. It really does feel like a ‘what could have been scenario’.

Watching the videos, it kind of makes me wish that they were in the game but perhaps presented better than being part of something that you have to find as a collectible or something? It just feels like they give the villains a lot of character (not as in it forgives them) and it would’ve been cool! That Kamoshida one especially, because it grounds his character and makes him even more despicable.

[SpammyV]

Yeah with the whole “We’re gonna break into people’s minds” plot and the idea that they’ve got security around their memories I thought this is where the game would already be going. Not that it would forgive them, but at least to me it’d be more interested to show the little steps and unresolved issues that twisted them. Not just break into their mind but steal those memories of who they used to be.

Also imagining Yusuke’s first mission being “Okay I need you to pick up some horse steroids from Tae. Tell her you’re here to pick up the order for John Persona. You’re John Persona. If she comes on too strong hit her with this super soaker.”

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 21

: It’s Sunday, and I think you all know what that means.

: This week, we get Onsen Aojiru, which is absolutely just Gamer Girl Bath Water.

: With our grips sipped, it’s time to buy Yusuke some equipment.

: From what I remember, Yusuke is the best gunner in the game - he uses assault rifles, which have hefty magazine sizes but aren’t random like Ann’s SMGs. The downside is their low accuracy.

: I also realized I forgot to do a thing that happened a few updates ago, so let’s do that now.

: “You just gotta show us the Persona we ask for!”

: “First off, we would like for you to bring us a Jack Frost.”

: “That’s too easy, Justine! It should be a challenge. Hmm… I want it to have Mabufu too! You got that, inmate? Bring us a Jack Frost with Mabufu.”

: If you’ve played Persona 3 and Persona 4, you’ll remember Elizabeth/Margaret’s social links. Caroline and Justine’s work exactly the same way - they want to see a Persona with specific skills on it.

: Because this does not take time to do, most people opt to do it on the last day: this is because a lot of their requests require transferring skills from Personas that have levelled up several times, and the easiest way to do that is at the end when you have all or most of the confidants maxed out.

: We could actually do this in two ways. We could just fuse a Jack Frost, who will automatically learn Mabufu because of the bonus experience from Morgana’s confidant, or we could get one in Madarame’s dungeon and level it up manually.

: We can meet Ryuji in the arcade in Shibuya. I actually found out that the one arcade we had in Connecticut (which was attached to a mini-golf place that closed down years ago) just got a new owner. I might go there and try it someday.

: “You wanna grab some ramen? I’ll show you my go-to place. It’s kinda far, but it’s totally worth. The flavor’s outta this world.”

: We now have access to Ogikubo, which is Ryuji’s special hangout spot.

: “This shit’s the best, man! Ramen is life! Light soup like this really gets your body goin’ again after a good run, y’know. We used to come all the way out here after practice and…”

: “Uh, I guess that’s all in the past. By the way, I’ve seen Nakaoka around a few times… but for some reason it don’t look like he’s gettin’ along with the others.”

: You might be asking who Nakaoka is. He’s one of the ex-track team people we met way back when we did Rank 3 of Ryuji’s confidant.

: “Yeah… kinda. I’ve been thinkin’ about what he said… how the whole track team was puttin’ up with Kamoshida’s shit… and how I effed it all up for 'em. I think he was right.”

: “They don’t even got a club room anymore, so they’ve been storin’ all their stuff behind the gym. They can’t use any school gear either, so they just run laps around the block for practice.”

: “There ain’t really a place for outcasts like that. I should know that better than anyone… It’s good they’re keepin’ their heads low now though. I don’t want ‘em endin’ up like me.”

: “Y’know what? You’re right. I guess now that I’m thinkin’ about it, tryin’ to fit in is a real pain in the ass. I mean, I’d never’ve met you guys if I wasn’t an outcast, right? So, uh… it’s all good.”

: Ryuji gives us a new ability, which is only kind of useful but helps in situations like farming Shiki-Ouji (which I am definitely going to do more of).

: “…I just hope there’s something I can do to help those track guys. Though it’d probably mess ‘em up if I tried to butt in. Oh yeah, we still gotta find a new spot for our trainin’.”

: “Hm… I’ll think about it. No slackin’ off 'til then, mkay?”

: Somehow, there’s no phone call, so we just go right to the bathhouse for five points to charm.

: “Madarame was talking to a lawyer. I suppose he’s serious about suing. I think we should advance our plans. Why don’t we go to the Palace today?”

: I rarely do this, but this time I go ahead and commit to the dungeon after school - it’s on the schedule anyway.

: “Artists with that good of an eye are rare in Japan. I wonder if he has synesthesia. Yes, regarding synesthesia… one of many English terms that come from Greek root words.”

: “Haven’t you heard of it? It’s a condition where your senses can cross over each other, like seeing music as color.”

: “There are all kinds of varieties, though some sense combinations are more common than others. We call people who experience this phenomenon ‘synesthetes’.”

: I’m not gonna lie, I read that at “synth-testes” the first time I read it, which sounds like something you’d hear in a sci-fi novel where they build a giant robotic dick to fight crime.

: “Mr. Kurusu. You were staring off into space, weren’t you? Well, your number’s up. The root words of synesthesia are “syn” and “aisthesis”. What do they mean?”

: “She wants to know what the root words mean…? It’s all Greek to me, but I can give it a try… here, let’s think about this. It’ll be easier if we put our heads together.”

: “Okay, so… let’s start with ‘syn’. I think that’s in a lot of other words, too. Like… synergy, and synchronicity, and synthesis. If we think about what those words have in common, then maybe ‘syn’ means…”

: I somehow forgot to capture the answer, but it’s “together”.

: “That’s it! ‘Syn’ means ‘together,’ or a combination of something. And ‘aisthesis’, huh? That’s a little like the word aesthetics. I wonder if it means…”

: “Yeah! That’s it! Sounds like we know the definitions of the root words. So that means the full word basically means…”

: “Yeah, that’s it! Phew… we really gotta stay on our toes in this class. I could use a snack after all that brain power… let’s get a treat after this!”

: Dammit cat, no. You’re not getting the goddamn dry food, stop sitting outside the cabinet and meowing. The vet says you’re fat.

: “You’ve been studying! Unfortunately, synesthesia’s something you have to be born with… you can’t learn it.”

: I’d almost argue you can. Let me ask you this: what does purple taste like? What about green? Orange? Not everyone is going to have the same answer, but I’m willing to bet everyone has an answer.

: In order: that artificial grape flavor they use in Life Savers, Asparagus, and either the Mexicoke version of Fanta (the kind with actual sugar in it that comes in a glass bottle) or the Turkish knockoff of it I got at a bodega one time.

: “Some of the geniuses over the course of history have had synesthesia. The composer Franz Liszt instructed his orchestra to play the color purple.”

: While I don’t know exactly what purple would sound like, I have a pretty good idea - it’s one of the lower notes on a French horn.

: “The poet Arthur Rimbaud was also said to see colors in letters. Seeing colors in sounds and letters, and feeling shapes in flavors and numbers… geniuses and common people see the world differently. Were you able to understand that?”

: “Synesthesia, huh… that’s fascinating. Although, the reason Madarame sees the world differently is because of his distorted desires.”

: There’s a segment I’m going to skip entirely, because it’s a recap of things we already know - like what a Palace is.

: “It has to be Kitsune. You know, with that kitsune mask and everything.”

: “Hell yeah. That really leaves an impression.”

: “Are you talking about me?”

: “What do you want your name over here to be?”

: “I’d say ‘Da Vinci’.”

: “Nope. Well, you’ve got that mask like Ann said… and then there’s that weird tail… all right! You’re Abura-age!”

: This is a kind of nonsensical culture reference that will take me a minute to explain.

: Abura-age is a kind of thin, deep-fried tofu. It’s primarily used in a dish called Inari-zushi, which is vinegar-soaked rice wrapped in abura-age.

: The Japanese harvest deity is a fox called Inari, which has shrines everywhere: this is why the fox is a thing in Persona 4. The legend is that foxes like deep-fried mice, only that’d be gross so people made offerings of Inari-Zushi instead.

: This is also why you can ask Tamamo for fried tofu in Monster Girl Quest in the infamous “thin fried tofu/touch fluffy tail” scene. Let me LP Monster Girl Quest, you cowards!

: Anyway, there’s one character who will repeatedly call Yusuke “Inari” so that’s why.

: “Snrk…”

: “Very well.”

: “He’s agreed to it!?”

: “It’s decided then! Abura-age!”

: “Nuh-uh! Not happening! Do you have any ideas, Joker?”

: Joker immediately wraps his arm around Yusuke’s shoulder and goes “Boyfriend”.

: “Ohh… just keep it literal, huh? Sounds good to me.”

: “What do you think, Fox?”

: “It’s acceptable.”

: “It’s set then. Let’s go.”

: I had to take my cat to the vet today, and basically had to wrestle him into his carrier because he started running the second I brought it out. The entire time, I was just picturing Morgana in the pose my cat was in, legs splayed out as far as they’d go to stop me putting him in the carrier.

: Anyway, we can pick our party now.

: By default, the game puts Joker alone, so I take Ryuji, Ann, and Yusuke.

: I did a very brief run that ended in a reset because I ran into another Regent, forgetting that you can just compendium summon them, and couldn’t capture it because I already had one. So instead, I fuse the nightmare of everyone who has ever played Nocturne, using Mokoi and Regent.

New Persona: Matador

Origin: Spain

First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei II

Not an actual mythological figure so much as a cultural one. Name of the performers in bullfighting events in Spain who ultimately kill the bull, having one of the riskiest and most life-threatening jobs of all the performers. Nocturne re-imagined him as a Spanish equivalent of the Reaper.

: Regent lets us choose a few extra options for traits - I picked Mighty Gaze, because Regent also comes with every basic multi-target spell except Mafrei. I wind up giving him Maragi, Mabufu, Maeiha and Makouha (bless damage).

: We start back at the room before the barrier.

: “* sigh * Thanks to all my hard work…”

: “…What do you mean by that?”

: “Don’t worry about that! C’mon, let’s keep going!”

: Not far past where the barrier was, we find the second map.

: “Ooh, do you think that could be another pamphlet? Let’s take it with us, Joker!”

: “Now we can use it to figure out where the Treasure is, right?”

: “I suspect it’s in the innermost point of this place. If that’s the case…”

: “Hm, we will need to pass through the lounge and the gallery in order to reach it…”

: “The deeper in we go, the tighter security’s going to be. We need to advance carefully, okay?”

: This is another laser grid puzzle, which is mostly just there to force you into some new encounters.

: One of those is Onmoraki. Never let these fuckers get a turn. They will always open with a spell that causes Fear. Fear makes anyone hit with it randomly run away from battle, meaning they won’t get EXP.

: The other is Jack Frost. Ideally, you probably don’t want Ann in your party for this room, since you can switch on the fly and I believe this is the only room in which Jack Frost can spawn.

: This is because they can spam Mabufu (which she’s weak to) and get an extra press turn to spam it again.

: Past the laser room is a box with nothing good in it, and then…

: “His stance conveys the notion that he is no ordinary foe.”

: “I think the control room’s behind him. He’s probably guarding it to make sure nobody gets too close. However, we’ll need to disarm the security if we want to ensure we have a safe infiltration route. Forcing our way through seems to be our only option…”

: And now we’ve got a mini-boss battle against a Kurama Tengu and two Koppa Tengu.

: Ann nearly kills the two Koppa Tengu in one go. This was kind of a waste.

: As I found out, Matador does like 200 damage with Makouha, and the Koppa Tengu are weak to Bless damage. This would’ve wiped them in one hit.

: We get enough EXP to get Yusuke to level 16, as well as a skill card. If you’ve read the Persona 1 or Innocent Sin LPs, you’ll know all about these - you can use them to make a Persona learn new abilities… but only on Joker’s Persona.

: “It really was on a totally different level from the other enemies though…”

: “Hm, he dropped some sort of card.”

: Yusuke’s thing, once we establish his confidant, is that he can duplicate skill cards. It takes time and blank skill cards, and it’s pretty useless because we can’t do anything crazy with it like the old 5-Megidolaon strategy in Persona 1.

: The security room the tengus were guarding has a locked box on one side with a new sword for Yusuke. This is why I didn’t bother getting him one at Iwai’s.

: God dammit.

: “Ugh, another one…?”

: “We’ll just have to look for someone else who might know it…”

: This shutter, by the way, is right outside the security room. I’m pretty sure you can’t miss the cutscene trigger, because it’s in the hallway you’d need to take to go back to the laser room.

: “Maybe… his shoe size?”

: “Yo, Fox. You know that bastard’s shoe size?”

: “Unfortunately, I have never heard him mention it. Are we sure that is the proper password…?”

: “Madarame’s feet… what do you think that could mean…?”

: It means we need to go back to the statue near the barrier control room.

: Unfortunately, there’s an encounter with a Nue and two Onmoraki on the way.

: Joker gets inflicted with Fear, which sucks.

: And then this happens, because I forgot to equip Shiki-Ouji after farming him a bunch the last time we were here.

: By the time I got the situation under control, Joker was almost dead.

: There’s a Shiki-Ouji who patrols right in front of the statue, so you’re probably going to have to take him out to do this. I already did it on the way in.

: “Pffft! He’s really puffin’ his chest out here, ain’t he…?”

: “Hold on a moment… could this be the spot of ‘Madarame’s feet’ that the security guard mentioned?”

: “It’s at his feet… oh, right! But isn’t the password supposed to be a number of some kind?”

: “Hm, I do believe there are numbers here though… ‘one’ ray of hope stands ‘alone’ with ‘two adept hands’. ‘None’ shall match him. That means…”

: “Yeah, that must be it!”

: “Sweet! Let’s head back and shut down the security!”

: On the way back, I hit the other encounter where that Nue was. Inugami is another annoying demon - they’re immune to guns.

: I’ll be honest, I wasn’t planning on getting either Inugami or Jack Frost - Inugami is Hanged Man, and we won’t be going anywhere near Iwai’s confidant until July.

: Ann killed the Jack Frost in one hit, so I had to negotiate with the Inugami. This was probably for the better, seeing as we’ll need to fuse a Jack Frost later anyway.

New Persona: Inugami

Origin: Japan

First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne

Japanese animal spirit (usually a dog, hence the “inu”, but can also be raccoons, weasels, wolves and other similar animals). Often associated with Onmyo mages, and capable of possessing humans. SMT Imagine’s entry states that they were once a thing that was checked for during marriages, because once an inugami possesses a family, they won’t leave it.

: I should note that the skill list is from the base game - I believe it was changed in Royal, but I tossed Inugami before I realized this.

: There’s a locked chest we couldn’t get to in the laser room which has a Bead Chain in it - these restore full HP to the entire party.

: “Indeed. It bears such a bizarre texture as well. It’s as though I could simply slip inside…”

: “Wh-What the-!?”

: “M-My hand… it actually entered the painting…”

: “So we can go inside of it…? Well, I don’t see any other path for us to take. Let’s give it a try!”

: “What the heck was that…!?”

: “We’re probably just hearing Madarame’s thoughts. There’s no need to panic.”

: “Madarame…”

: “Hm… so this space is not merely one, but a multitude of paintings.”

: “You tellin’ me they’re all connected? Which one goes where?”

: “That, we will have to continue walking to find out.”

: “Hey Joker, can’t you spot the connections with your skills?”

: “The one who has sullied the very nature of art itself has no right to accuse us of such a thing…!”

: “Save your emotions for later. We have to keep moving!”

: There’s a vent here we can use to progress, and a kind of interesting dialog that happens inside.

: The vent opens up into a disappointingly huge room that is really just a hallway - there’s a bunch of screens here and absolutely nothing hidden behind them.

: “There is something off about these though…”

: “Why don’t we go take a closer look?”

: “Ain’t this just like last time? Y’know, with the secret passage inside and everything.”

: “Hm… it looks like these ones are all completely different.”

: “There are even frames with no paintings at all…”

: This game just loves repeating itself.

: “That is strange… but we don’t have a choice. Let’s go, Joker.”

: “So he’s gonna blame the world for his declinin’ skill? Heh, that bastard never had any real talent to begin with!”

: “Huh!? Even if that’s true, that doesn’t give you the right to be deceiving people!”

: This painting is the only one with an actual trick to it. The trick is that there’s two exits - one from going through the Torii gate, and one from going to the right. We want to go through the gate.

: “What the heck? He’s basically saying he’s jealous of young talent… look at me! I was turned into a cat, but I’m still fighting. Age isn’t a valid excuse.”

: You can go two ways in the jungle painting - the right side (rather than going up) takes you to a button.

: “Look! Another painting!”

: “So passing through one hidden route leads to the formation of another… what an elaborate ruse. It’s highly likely there is a new path through the paintings. We should investigate, Joker.”

: “So they’re not connected exactly as they seem… we’ll have to keep trying until we find the right way.”

: I could’ve gone back through the jungle on the left, but going to anywhere that would take you to an empty frame sends you back to the camels.

: “So he’s usin’ all those pretty words, but he’s basically sayin’ people are like steppin’ stones. That’s just like what he did to all those kids - crushed 'em for his ‘art’! What a piece of shit!”

: Game, I feel like maybe we’ve heard this twice already.

: This kicks us out of the painting, but there’s a reason I wanted to do this - there’s stealables down here.

: Oh, and a Shiki-Ouji spawn. I should mention I still haven’t finished recording this day as I write this, mostly because I farmed a LOT of money at the end - something like 370,000 yen, all off Shiki-Ouji.

: Instead of running into the octopus, we instead want to go down.

: This puts us by another button we can use to open the last painting.

: Unfortunately, we can’t go back through here, so we have to go all the way down and start over. The order is Desert -> Mountain (going through the gate) -> Jungle (climbing the rock) and then to the final painting.

: “So running your atelier out of a shabby, run-down shack was simply an act after all… how foolish I was to have been deceived for so long…”

: “Fox…”

: “How despicable… we have encountered so many of his paintings, yet not once did he mention a love for art. These are no ‘paintings’… they are just meaningless self-assertions placed into picture frames!”

: “I’m excited to see how the change of heart alters him. Now, let’s hurry!”

: The second you walk into this box maze, you can hear a will seed room.

: Before we do that, there’s another female shadow in this room, which I believe is unique to this particular room.

: I had to spend some SP on this fight because of the Inugami, but once I did…

Returning Persona: Ame-no-Uzume

Origin: Japan

First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei I

Shinto goddess of dawn and revelry. Lured Amaterasu out of a cave.

: Ame-no-Uzume is good for exactly one thing, and that thing is lightning - she can cast Mazio for just over what a regular Zio would cost.

: The will seed door is accessed by going through a giant… is this a vent? I’m not entirely sure what this is.

: You can then drop down to where the room is…

: Only it’s barred, so we have to find a button to open it.

: The button is at the top of a very finicky grappling hook point on the other side of the room.

: “There’s so much gold…! It’s hurting my eyes…”

: “The distortion is especially bad here. It’s barely holding up. Plus, it’s not even on our map…”

: “So we must ascertain the truth through our eyes alone.”

: Welcome to the MC Escher room, where we have to do a teleporter maze. I remember the old days when “teleporter maze” meant “better break out the guide, fucker” but this one’s super simple.

: “So, like, which way are we supposed to go? I didn’t see any other ways forward, did you?”

: “I see. So it was camouflaged. We may have been trapped in here for eternity had you not noticed that.”

: The game’s kind of inconsistent about how it handles entry and exit from the palaces. We saw Yusuke and Ann just kinda fall in near the barrier point, and presumably there’s a way to exit from the app while in a palace that we just never see. It seems like it’d be hard to get stuck forever.

: “Ooh! Nice work, Skull! You did it!”

: “Uh, sure… you know I just got lucky, right?”

: There’s a chest up here with an accessory in it. Any “black” items are used for this game’s equivalent of returning Personas - the same way we did in Persona 1 and Innocent Sin.

: “It’s probably some kind of illusion. We’re in a Palace, after all. Well, I guess the painting itself might be correct though.”

: “You say ‘correct’ but aren’t they all counterfeit? Although maybe the real one’s here too…”

: This part, and the next few, are kind of weirdly designed. The idea is we’re supposed to look for the real Sayuri, which will open up the next teleporter. You might think that what you’re supposed to do is go to the exit nearest the real Sayuri, but no - you have to actually confirm it’s real first.

: “Isn’t that a fake? I mean, this is Madarame’s Palace…”

: “There are obvious differences if you look closely. It shouldn’t be too difficult to tell them apart.”

: “Yeah, maybe it’s obvious for you… what do you think, Joker?”

: This one’s the fake - the real Sayuri is red, not blue.

: “Indeed, this is a fake. The real Sayuri is cloaked in vibrant crimson garments.”

: “O-Oh, right… now that you mention it…”

: The thing is, there’s something they could’ve done here that would’ve made more sense, but they didn’t. We’ll see what that is when we get to the boss fight.

: “Some fools would pay a fortune and never know it was a fake… but you are quite impressive, Joker.”

: “…I’m thinkin’ I might be one of those fools.”

: I try going in the door near the real Sayuri, but it just warps you back to the start.

: “That is correct. It seems you have quite the eye for detail, Joker.”

: “For real…? That’s amazin’…”

: “The vibrant crimson clothes, her beautiful hair, the sublime balance between subject and background… this may only be an illusion, but it is without a doubt a spitting image of the true Sayuri.”

: Hitting the real one causes it to turn into a spark…

: Which turns the door we’re supposed to go through orange, because Portal.

: He’s incredibly wrong, but I can’t explain why until the boss fight. It has to do with the painting.

: “And here, just as in reality, he entraps those who cannot see through his lying facade…”

: “You might be right… no wonder the distortion is so strong here.”

: “Hey, so… what does that mean?”

: That boy needs therapy. Psychosomatic.

: “I think it means finding the real Sayuri should break through the distortion and open a path.”

: “So do we just gotta check all of 'em?”

: “Why would we do that…? Let’s just look for the real one… assuming we can differentiate it.”

: Both of the paintings on this platform are fake - there’s no cherry branch behind her head.

: The real one is obvious - it’s the only one with a branch.

: The hidden room on the first platform has an SP recovery item. What I probably should’ve done is burn all of the SP items in this dungeon, since SP will largely stop being a concern after this.

: The next room has four paintings, but if you look, you can probably figure out where the real one is (the third one from the left is a convincing fake).

: The real one is, of course, hidden because Madarame. I think we get it already, game. This feels a lot more like something you’d see in Paper Mario.

: The new orange portal is the one down the stairs and to the right of where Joker is.

: “Just be careful, okay? The distortion is growing much stronger the deeper we go…”

: Down the stairs is a blank skill card, which we can either give to Yusuke to duplicate a card, or use in returning a Persona. I had to use it to return a Persona, because unfortunately there’s no way to just delete a Persona and I kind of fucked up when doing fusion a little. We’ll see that later.

: “Then is the Treasure behind him?”

: “It’s kinda hard to tell from here. Let’s get a closer look!”

: “Doesn’t it look a bit hazy?”

: "For the time being. Once we send the card and make Madarame aware it’ll be stolen, it’ll materialize like ‘Yoohoo!’ "

: I don’t know what kind of fridge Morgana has if Yoohoo just materalizes in it. I can’t believe they still make that stuff - I’ve never actually had it, but I know kids used to bring it to school for lunch when I was in middle school.

: “I wonder what form it will take…”

: “Who knows? Bet it’s something like a self-portrait.”

: “The source of what distorted Madarame’s reality this much…”

: “So what now? Think it’s safe to say we got our route set?”

: “Hmm… we know where the Treasure is, but I’m not sure that we’ve necessarily secured the route…”

: “Huh? Why’s that?”

: “You must be talking about the infrared lasers surrounding it.”

: “That, and the outer perimeter is swarming with guards. Forcing our way through will be difficult.”

: Morgana fails to realize that the entire party is nearly level 20 at this point, and will be 21 by the time I leave the museum (except Yusuke). The boss is level 17.

: “So we’ll need to find a way to steal it too… this is tougher than it was with Kamoshida…”

: “We just have to make one final push. Let’s check this floor!”

: “Hm… could this also be…? Hey, someone!”

: “Yes, and the infrared lasers remained active even during the power outage.”

: “So we’ll only be able to turn the power off in there for a few seconds…”

: “Wait a second… arent’ those guards that just ran out headed this way!? What else should we try? We might be in trouble if we don’t hurry…”

: “The heck? There was no point in even comin’ here then!”

: “Hm, it seems disabling the infrared lasers is not within the realm of possibility for us.”

: “All right!”

: “Now there are more places we can explore…”

: This is Makami. We ABSOLUTELY NEED a Makami or it will be a permafuck - Makami is the only Temperance Persona we can get right now, and we need that for an upcoming confidant.

: Unfortunately, I mis-read the weakness chart. Makami is not weak to fire, Makami is weak to lightning.

: Makami is also a “tough guy” demon like Shiki-Ouji and Berith, where they won’t negotiate until their HP is below a certain level.

: Unfortunately, I was in a bad spot - after the Maragi from Ann, they were too high on HP to negotiate with after being knocked down, but too low to survive another knockdown. I had to kill them.

: “All we really managed to do was open the shutters.”

: “On top of that, we can only turn the lights off briefly, while the lasers remain unaffected.”

: “Oh well… guess we just gotta go see what’s past those shutters.”

: The last Will Seed is here, and we definitely want it - not only for the SP recovery, but also because the accessory it makes is kind of amazing.

: The Zen Outfit is a really good armor that boosts Agility by 3. I equip it on Yusuke because he has the lowest agility.

: The vent also leads to the grappling point we can use to get to the Will Seed. I went to check the archive LP because I forget how this room originally worked before the grappling hook.

: In the original game, there was a whole room up here with a couple of Shiki-Oujis in it. I wish it was still here, because that would’ve made the grind a lot faster.

: Madarame’s Palace as a whole was actually nerfed pretty significantly from the base game.

: Arahabaki here is weak to Nuclear, so this fight is basically a Shiki-Ouji wth more HP: use Frei, use an All-Out, use Frei again, repeat until dead.

: It uses a move that causes Brainwash, which is this game’s equivalent of Charm.

: Fortunately, Joker has like a 50% chance of just outright removing it because of Maruki’s confidant ability.

: The entire party is now level 20.

: The Crystal of Vanity is actually a pretty great accessory early on, as it nulls any weaknesses the user has. All of our party members will eventually have their weaknesses mitigated via abilities, but for now it’s pretty good for boss fights.

: We then have to go all the way around to reach this button, which opens a door to progress.

: On the other side, I almost immediately run into two Makami and a Nue. We’re actually high enough level that we could get Nue as a Persona - Nue is level 20 - but he’s Moon arcana.

New Persona: Makami

Origin: Japan

First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne

Japanese wolf god who protects the good and punishes evil. Known for eating people. Often drawn on prayer boards, where it is believed to protect against fire and thieves - possibly in exchange for crops. “Makami” is a romanization of its actual name, Oguchi-no-Magami.

: Magami isn’t as good at nuclear damage as Shiisaa - it doesn’t have the passive Shiisaa does that reduces the cost of nuclear spells. However, this means we can get rid of Shiisaa entirely.

: This is also the last of the four arcana we need for upcoming confidants: Emperor, Justice, Councillor and Temperance.

: “No, it is most likely where all of the mechanisms in the exhibition hall are controlled from. Given the number of hanging works, it would make sense to have a room dedicated to controlling them.”

: “The observational skills of an artist are out of this world.”

: “It looks like Fox’s deduction was on point!”

: “Oh, look! There aren’t any lasers above it!”

: “This is quite a large hole in their security… but what do we do? Jump down to retrieve it?”

: “We wouldn’t be able to get out if we did that though. Look up.”

: “Didn’t we see something earlier that looked like it could be a set of controls for that crane? Let’s go back and check it out!”

: “Do you plan on descending on that hook? Would they not spot you the moment you were lowered down?”

: “No… not necessarily. There’s something I can do to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

: “Exactly! That’s our Joker!”

: “Oh right… we were able to turn the lights off over in that other control room!”

: “Only for a few seconds though. There would not be enough time to make it all the way here.”

: “That’s why we’re going to split up the tasks and work together to pull off this heist! One person will shut the power off here, one person will lower the crane, and I’ll grab the Treasure!”

: “You sure that’s gonna work? Seems like they’d realize what’s goin’ on at some point.”

: “Sometimes bold moves have the greatest payout. Unless someone has a better idea?”

: You’d think that they could just use the hook as a distraction - lower it so that Madarame sees it and then run in once all the guards go up to the hook control room.

: “Well said, Joker! You understand what being a phantom thief really means! All right, it’s settled. Our infiltration route is secured!”

: “You gotta be kiddin’ me…”

: “Now then, it’s time for the calling card!”

: There’s just one little problem. We don’t have nearly enough money. I did the math, and we need something like 340,000 yen until the next dungeon - not counting equipment.

: I’ve mentioned this before, but here’s the breakdown: Dr. Femdom has three different accessories she sells which are absolutely vital for this run. We want the best ones, which are 100,000 yen each (50,000 with the discount we’ll get one day before the third dungeon) for a total of 200,000 yen

: We also need around 140,000 for confidants. This means I still have a lot of farming to do.

: Back at the Velvet Room, we get a tutorial on how returning Personas works. I’ll explain it myself since it’s faster.

: Basically, it works the same way it did in the old games - except now, we have to pay in “black” items of the appropriate type to get the item from returning. I had to blow the blank card on Shiisaa to get him out.

: Here’s where I made a dumb move. Instead of just buying another Regent, I fused Eligor.

New Persona: Eligor

Origin: Ars Goetia

First Appearance: Megami Tensei II

Demon lord from the Ars Goetia, a fallen angel known as the Great Duke of Hades. Usually depicted as a knight riding a skeletal horse. Knows everything about warfare, but also love for some reason. This is technically not his first appearance in a Persona game - he was an enemy in Persona 1.

: This meant I had to buy back Angel and one other Persona (I forget which) and it was a pain in the ass all around for a completely useless Persona.

: So yeah, that’s what the electric chair looks like.

: I also found out while grinding that Yusuke apparently has unique lines of dialog for some of the portraits in the portrait gallery, if you bring him back that far.

: After copious amounts of grind, I get everyone to level 21 (Yusuke to 18) and grind out a total of around 450,000 yen (after selling the vendor trash, which I do in the next update). This should be plenty for what we need.

: We spend the night crafting. I was kind of worried that I’d have to buy more lockpick materials, but… yeah, we’ll have enough lockpicks to probably bring us past the next dungeon.

: Next time, we’ll send the calling card and take on Madarame - without any time skip in between, because that’s how the routing is.

[Timrod]

Oh, right. Small addendum to my last update - when I was working on it, the news came out that Persona 5 Scramble is likely not going to see a release in the West. This is after people looked at Koei-Tecmo’s financial statements and didn’t see anything about P5S on there.

There’s probably a number of reasons for this. One is that Scramble is supposed to be a sequel to Persona 5… but doesn’t feature Not-Elly or any of the content added in Royal, so it introduces a giant plot hole given how much of an impact the extra scenario has on the overall plot. This is kind of surprising given that Scramble released in Japan in February 2020, a full four months after Royal did.

I was looking at importing a copy… but it’s like $90 to do so. I can still do that if people really want to see it, and I might do it just because it’ll probably be a pain in the ass to get down the line - not that I really give a shit about the P5 spinoffs. I don’t even really like Persona 5 all that much… expensive statues nonwithstanding.

If I do buy a copy, I’d probably stream it a few times assuming people can find an alternative to Twitch, because fuck Twitch and their dumbass mid-roll ads, but wouldn’t do a full LP of it - I think you have to actually be able to speak Japanese for that and I don’t.

[CommanderKeene]

@Timrod

I had to use it to return a Persona, because unfortunately there’s no way to just delete a Persona and I kind of fucked up when doing fusion a little.

You can delete Personas, just not in the fusion menus. You have to go into the status menu to do it. I had to use it a few times in my playthrough of vanilla P5. It’s kinda dumb that they don’t let you delete from the fusion menus, and you think they would’ve fixed that amongst the Royal changes, but I guess not!

@Timrod

Persona 5 Scramble is likely not going to see a release in the West. This is after people looked at Koei-Tecmo’s financial statements and didn’t see anything about P5S on there.

Honestly, that “evidence” is kinda worth jack shit. My guess is that the localization got delayed due to Age of Calamity releasing soon, so Scramble isn’t coming out this fiscal year. Don’t panic-buy an import copy yet.

[LaZodiac]

@CommanderKeene

Honestly, that “evidence” is kinda worth jack shit. My guess is that the localization got delayed due to Age of Calamity releasing soon, so Scramble isn’t coming out this fiscal year. Don’t panic-buy an import copy yet.

Yeah, agreed on this.

[SpammyV]

I’d like to imagine after Fox spends so much time praising John Persona’s keen artistic senses that he’s able to remember which color the lady’s clothes are in the painting, John Persona just looks at him confused and goes “What do you mean the paintings were different?”

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 22

: All we’re really doing today is sending the calling card.

: I actually found a table of how many points you need to reach each breakpoint for the social stats - as it turns out, proficiency is by far the easiest to max. Knowledge is the hardest, requiring a total of 192 points to max out.

: “First, I have an announcement about an upcoming school event.”

: “As part of a city beautification project, the entire school will be participating in a public clean-up campaign.”

: “…That means we’re going to Inokashira Park to pick up trash.”

: Joker immediately picks up Morgana and tells everyone he found some trash.

: “Settle down. The cleanup will take place next week, on the 30th. All students are required to wear their gym uniforms during the event, so don’t forget to dress the part.”

: I’ve seen Maruki fan accounts on Twitter. I honestly don’t get why people like him.

: “Sakamoto-kun! Here for a counseling session?”

: “Well… it’s not like I wanted to or nuthin’.”

: He’s turning this therapy session… into a tsundereapy session.

: “Ahaha, sorry you were forced into this. But anyway - come in, come in!”

: “Oh? Why’s that?”

: “I mean, I don’t really go see teachers unless they wanna chew me out for doin’ somethin’ wrong.”

: I think one problem I have with Ryuji’s writing is that half the time he sounds reasonably intelligent, and the other half he sounds like a cross between a stereotypical inner-city kid and a redneck.

: “Oh, I’m not a teacher here. If anything, well… I’m here to be on the students’ side.”

: “Oh, yeah…? So… am I supposed to tell ya about Kamoshida now?”

: “Oh, no, no - this isn’t some kind of interrogation. You’re free to just kick back and talk about whatever you want.”

: “Liiike… what?”

: “Hmm, how about… is there anyone in your class that you like?”

: “That’s not exactly easy to talk about either - and it’s not like there IS anybody…”

: “Uh- Oh, sorry! I just meant, you’re in the middle of your teenage years and all, right? High-schoolers are just discovering romance and all, so…”

: " 'Zat how it went for you?"

: Maruki is one of those people who played Tokimeki Memorial, isn’t he.

: “I’m sorry, I’m supposed to be hearing you out, but instead I’m just bringing down the room.”

: “Oh, how about this instead - what do you do in your free time, Sakamoto-kun? On the weekend, after school…”

: “Uhhh, hang out with my buds, mostly - though I just started doin’ that recently. Before that, I was just pissed all the time, and even before that… I was only all about the track team.”

: “Ah… So… is your leg better now?”

: “…Oh, so you know about that, too. Well, yeah, pretty much - so long as I don’t strain it or nothin’.”

: “I see… You really do enjoy running, don’t you?”

: What are you, Psycho Mantis? Gonna read my PS4’s hard drive and find out I haven’t touched it in years apart from this LP?

: “Guess so… I mean, after all that trainin’ I did, it makes sense I’d like it… I’d be training constantly, getting sweet times at meets along with everyone else…”

: “Eventually, I was gonna get my hands on some running scholarships to make it easier on my mom… but alla that’s in the past now. It’s cool, though. I got way more important shit to do now.”

: “More important, huh? Well, no matter what path you might have to take to get there… I hope your track dreams will still do you some good in the end.”

: “Heh… thanks.”

: Oh, fuck you Hashino. That was Maya’s thing, and of course you’re stealing it because you’re an unoriginal fuck.

: “Huh? You tryin’ to sell me some kinda line now?”

: The worst part of this is that Hashino missed the entire point of WHY Maya was doing that - because she was trying to mask her deep insecurities and her entire life situation by pretending she had her shit together.

: “Oh no, this is actually a genuine phenomenon, with a lot of research going into it even now.”

: A lot of research, Hashino says as he reads through “Persona_2_Innocent_Sin_Script.txt” and copies out random passages to slap together for Maruki’s dialog.

: “Look at it this way, Sakamoto-kun - what do you want most out of life, right now?”

: A writer who isn’t Hashino. Seriously, I’d rather have Satomi Tadashi and his dumbass idol thirst over Hashino any day. Tadashi was at least competent, he just had no self-control.

: Oh, and of course a re-release of

: “Uhhh… I want somethin’ to drink, I guess.”

: “And now, I’d like for you to have it.”

: “…Thanks?”

: “See? Your wish came true!”

: “Yeaaah… Hey, Dr. Maru- ah, I mean Doc. Anyone ever tell you you’re kinda… not normal?”

: “You think so? …Ooh, could that be a compliment, coming from you?”

: I went and sold all the treasure items to make sure we have plenty of money. At roughly 460,000 yen, we definitely do. It’s a good thing too, because I was basically dry on SP when I finished grinding.

: “Madarame’s going to be a changed man. There won’t be any way to revert it though. Are you sure you’re okay with that?”

: “I have thought it over carefully, and I cannot think of a future in which he does not pay his dues. He has preyed not only on the art world, but on countless talents… so, I humbly request your help.”

: “I apologize for making you do this…”

: “Not at all. We just didn’t want to impose if you weren’t feeling up to it, Yusuke. But if you’re already determined to do it, then there’s nothing more for us to say.”

: “If I recall, our next step is sending a ‘calling card,’ correct? What a suave maneuver.”

: “It’s not about acting cool. The calling card is a way to trigger a change in his cognition.”

: “A change in cognition… that reminds me, you went through some trouble regarding that before…”

: “Ah, you must be talking about when we forced open that security gate in the courtyard.”

: “The Palace is a cognitive world, so changing its ruler’s cognition changes the topography! …I think!”

: “Very nicely put, Lady Ann! You’re absolutely correct. This will be a vital tactic from here forward.”

: Hahaha, no. All of the other dungeons can be cleared in one day, plus the day spent sending the calling card and the day spent fighting the boss.

: “Actually, may I ask a truly basic question? You continue to mention cognition quite readily… but why does this world formed from materialized cognitions even exist to begin with?”

: Well, you see, it all starts with this guy named Tatsuya…

: “Don’t tell me… has it always existed, while we go about our daily lives completely oblivious?”

: “Honestly, I’m not sure. At the very least, I know it existed before the Kamoshida incident… but that’s all.”

: “I see…”

: “Crap, he totally caught me off-guard with that… it’s kinda weird thinkin’ there might be whole worlds we just don’t know a damn thing about… did the thought ever cross your mind, Akira?”

: “Don’t be so anxious. You don’t even know everything about the city you live in, after all.”

: “All that’s important is that we know how to make use of that world and how to traverse it.”

: “A calling card, hm? Will he take it seriously? He is famous, after all… he has often received slanderous letters till now, as well.”

: “He’ll know best whether the crime written on it is for real or not.”

: “Wait. Are you going to write it again, Ryuji? That last one was questionable at best.”

: “You should do it then, Yusuke! Oh! Make it really artistic and stuff!”

: The curse of being “the art kid”.

: “No. It’ll end with him figuring it out. He knows my drawing and writing styles all too well.”

: “Oh, then I’ll think it up, and you make it cooler!”

: There was a comic I saw on /v/ that I wish I had saved of Joker dictating the calling card to Ryuji for Kamoshida, and Ryuji just posts a screenshot of their texts all over the school.

: “Designing a calling card, hm… interesting. It shall become proof that the Phantom Thieves do exist.”

: “It’s decided, then!”

: “Great! All that’s left is to make the Treasure ours! You guys better come fully prepared!”

: We then spend the night studying.

: “It appears you’re lying low lately. What’s with the change?”

: “Really… is it just my imagination then? Anyhow… I wish the culprit would come forward soon…”

: “It’s absurd to pretend I can do the police’s job. I wish he considered my feelings before asking me this.”

: “Please excuse me for a second.”

: “A letter?”

: Joker looks at Ryuji and just goes “What the fuck, man!? Why’d you put my name on it?!”

: “Whose doing is this!?”

: Clearly, John Persona’s.

: “What about the security cameras!?”

: “Remove these at once!”

: “Yup! It was perfect! The composition was way cooler too!”

: “The Treasure should appear right about now.”

: “You better enjoy the air of freedom while you still can, old man. Anyways, d’you guys check online? People are already talkin’ about that callin’ card.”

: “I’m sure you know, but we only get one shot to pull this off!”

: “It’ll be fine. We managed last time too.”

: “You have no reservations about this either, right, Yusuke?”

: “Of course not. …We’ll do this.”

: “I mean, we did basically declare war on him by sendin’ that card.”

: “But there’s nothing to fear. We’ve secured a route, and we’re ready to go. We’ll take the Treasure in style!”

: After warping, I go the wrong way by accident, and…

: Find out that all the stealable items have respawned again. What I forgot is that the chance of a Treasure Demon showing up when you steal an item goes up the higher the security level is.

: The second treasure I stole was a Regent, and at that point I said “Nah, let’s just keep going”.

: “There will be no turning back once we begin the operation.”

: “And if worst comes to worst, we might have to fight…”

: “That’s right. Are you ready, Joker?”

: “Okay! Everyone to your positions!”

: “I mean, we’ve done a ton in here. It ain’t surprisin’. Anyway, I’m gonna try and draw it out, so I’ll leave the switch to you guys.”

: “Will you be okay? What if it catches up to you?”

: “Heh, don’t underestimate an ex-runner. I’m definitely gonna shake it off!”

: “Yeah, it’s perfect!”

: “You seem to be enjoying this.”

: “Only the best can appreciate these critical moments. Plus, this feels like we’re really phantom thieves!”

: “We’ll be counting on you, Mona. And Panther as well!”

: “Good luck, everyone! Let’s do this!”

: One thing I find kinda funny - notice how much bigger the treasure is than Morgana. We’ll see it again a few screenshots from now.

: “My bad! It took me ages to get that guy off my tail!”

: It’s funny he says that, given that he’s the only party member who doesn’t have a tail. I’m really surprised they didn’t point that out.

: “Wait, where’s Mona?”

: That treasure sure looks smaller than it did.

: “That was amazin’, Mona!”

: “Ngh… how dare those vermin… but now we’ll corner them like the rats they are! Lock all the doors at once! They have nowhere to run!”

: I get the whole point is that Ryuji talks like a punk or whatever, but "what’d the treasure turn out bein’ " kind of crosses over into Ralph Wiggum territory.

: What gets me is that Satomi Tadashi wrote three different characters (Mark, Yukino, and Eikichi) who were all supposed to fill the “delinquent/punk” party member slot, and none of them were ever portrayed as stupid.

: Actually, you could throw Tatsuya into that since he’s a party member in Eternal Punishment.

: “We can look into that later. For now, we must escape.”

: “Yeah, it’s time to go!”

: And now the treasure is roughly the same size as Morgana.

: “Wh-wh-what do we do!?”

: “You don’t got a plan about how to get outta here!? What kinda master thief are you!?”

: “In any case, let us search for another way out. We must escape!”

: “Oh, a window! But where’s it go?”

: “Now is no time to be lost in thought. We must go!”

: “Whoa, this shit’s real high up…”

: “But at least we’re outside! Is there a way down out here!?”

: Boy is there. It’s like a fifteen second climb down. In case you’re wondering why the security level is 90%, it’s because we fought that Regent.

: It’s clearly a portal to the Goatse Dimension.

: “We don’t have time to lose. Just go through it! Now’s our chance!”

: “For real!? But… I guess there’s no other way!”

: “It seems we managed to escape their siege.”

: “Mrrr… meoww…”

: “Dude… why’s Mona gettin’ excited now of all times…?”

: “I just can’t take it any more! Let’s take a look at this Treasure!”

: “How dare you try to trap me like some kind of mouse!”

: “So you had a fake prepped, huh?”

: “Counterfeits are accepted in the world of Japanese art.”

: “What made you change like this!? Is it because you became famous!? Can’t you understand how much it pains me to inquire about the crimes of my foster father!?”

: “…Now that I think back, the only reason why I took you in was due to my ties with your mother. That woman never lost her passion for painting even after her husband died.”

: “Her skills and talents were quite astonishing… that’s why I decided to look after her.”

: “How low can you sink?”

: “I suppose I can grant you a gift before you die - a glimpse of the genuine ‘Sayuri’!”

: “Genuine…?”

: “This can’t be! Mom…”

: Remember how I said there was something about the painting puzzle that didn’t make sense? This is what Sayuri actually looks like - so none of those paintings were the real one.

: “Huh!?”

: “Indeed it is. This was painted by your mother. It’s a portrait of herself. A woman who knew her death was coming painted her last wishes, for the son she would leave behind.”

: “That is the truth behind the mystery of Sayuri’s expression!”

: “You stole something THAT personal!?”

: We’re getting to the part where Madarame becomes almost as cartoonish as Kamoshida was.

: “I knew at first glance. I knew it’d be a huge success if I added a touch to the painting and announced it under my name!”

: “But the baby in the picture… why did you paint over it?”

: “…It was all to stage it. If the babe is erased, the reason for the woman’s expression will become a mystery!”

: “If you really treasured that painting, you wouldn’t even think about replicating it for profit! You don’t love art at all!”

: I mean, I’d argue there are definitely Japanese artists who both loved their art and replicated it for profit - that’s kind of what the whole ukiyo-e thing is about.

: “Though you have a real Treasure, your true skills are nothing more than those scribbles on that fake!”

: “It makes me laugh, asshole!”

: “So you’ll defy me no matter what… well then, since you’re my work of art, Yusuke, I’m going to reap you for the sake of my future.”

: “…Along with those insolent friends of yours.”

: “I can’t believe you’re treating both mother and son like they’re objects… you’re inhuman!”

: I think part of what doesn’t work about this is that they’re talking to his shadow. This would work so much better if it was like the early games where everything just happens in the real world.

: “Fox?”

: “I’ve heard that you destroy your ‘art’ once they outlive their usefulness… did that include my mother as well?”

: Get ready, because this is where Madarame goes from kind of believable to fucking Saturday morning cartoon villain.

: There are ways this could’ve been well-written to make Madarame hate-able but not overdone. Hell, they almost did it in the unused will seed cutscenes. I have no idea why this had to be here.

: “Above all, Yusuke, didn’t you think it was odd that I discovered your talent when you were only three?”

: “The reason I kept you around was to keep you from discovering the truth behind Sayuri.”

: “The artistic talents you inherited from your mother were a delightful miscalculation though. If I’m to steal ideas, it’s much easier robbing the future of brats who won’t talk back than adults.”

: The other problem I have with this is that each boss is supposed to be themed around a sin - Kamoshida was lust even though really he was more pride than anything.

: Madarame is supposed to be themed around vanity and narcissism, but he’s not really about that - he’s really more about greed than he is vanity.

: “It’s thanks to you that I came up with the idea. You have my gratitude.”

: * chuckle *

: “Yusuke?”

: “You aren’t some rotten artist… you’re a despicable fiend who wears the skin of an artist!”

: “All you good-for-nothings…! Barging into my museum and doing whatever the hell you want…”

: “Not to mention, the value of art is all subjective! I make the rules in the art scene! I am the supreme being! I am the god of the art world!”

: Man, he is loving this shit.

: Meet Madarame’s demon form - Azazel.

: A couple of notes about this boss fight. Madarame was probably the most challenging fight in the original game because of how random he was. He was nerfed HEAVILY for Royal, but is still pure RNG.

: So as you can see, the face is split up into four parts. Each one absorbs four damage types - the eyes absorb the elements (Fire/Ice/Wind/Elec) and the nose absorbs force-based damage (Nuke/Bless/Curse/Psy). Here’s where the RNG comes in.

: The mouth absorbs physical and gun, but nothing else.

: Each piece of the face gets its own turn. The nose is the only one with any kind of attack spells - the rest all have physical attacks and buffs. First, it uses ice to knock Ann down…

: Then fire on Yusuke, which completely fucks him up…

: And then lightning on Joker to hit Matador’s weakness. The only way to not be hit is to either equip the will crystal we got, or to have a Persona who has a force-based weakness since the nose only has fire/ice/wind/elec spells.

: It then uses another fire spell on Yusuke, because it will not attack anything that would cause it to run into a Null and Ryuji has the anti-weakness crystal on him. I probably should’ve put that on Joker.

: So let’s say it’s been a few years since you last played this, and you forgot his OTHER gimmick and decide to take him on one part at a time.

: Yeah, no. They all have to be brought down at the same time or they’ll revive - granted, with only 25% HP. It’s actually a viable strategy if you have a power attacker like Matador to use Makouha or Maeiha to do fuckloads of damage to the eyes and mouth, and then have the rest of the party work on the nose, so you can bring them all down in one hit when they revive.

: The mouth also has an attack called “Artist’s Grace” that covers someone in black paint. This makes them automatically weak to everything - and no, he won’t use it on the person with the will crystal.

: Matador isn’t having any of this shit. He’s supposed to be the one racking up the free press turns.

: Once you down the painting, Madarame’s shadow appears. In the original game, this was the entire fight. You’d knock down the paintings, Madarame would appear for a few turns, you’d hit him, and then it’d cycle until you won.

: The difference is that the paintings didn’t have their resurrect gimmick until after the first loop, and didn’t have Artist’s Grace until the second loop either.

: If you didn’t do it in two loops, Morgana would come up with the idea of using the black paint against Madarame, at which point you could send someone out (the same way we did with Kamoshida) for three turns to use the paint and auto-win the fight.

: “The Madarame who gathers a full crowd every time he opens an exhibit! I’m not someone that worthless brats like you are allowed to defy!”

: “You’re STILL saying that? There’s no need to hold back then! Let’s get hm, Joker!”

: Note that our All-Out only has three people (and thus is weaker) because anyone who has a status effect can’t take part in it, and the black paint counts as a status.

: Welcome to the new second phase of the Madarame fight. Rather than re-summon the painting, he just goes full on fucking Naruto and summons clones.

: “Wha-!? He made copies of himself!? …Ha, I see. Creating duplicates IS his specialty!”

: You’d assume that the best strategy would be to AOE everything down, because logically, the clones should absorb magic the same way the painting did (apart from their obvious elemental weaknesses).

: Yeah, no. They actually REFLECT everything but their weakness, and I get a game over after Joker eats several times his max HP in reflected bless damage. They don’t reflect physical or gun.

: On the second run, the game combos Ann to death and nearly kills Yusuke and Ryuji by abusing extra press turns before I can even move. This fight was complete bullshit in the base game.

: In my base game run, I was around level 12 when I ran into this fight. Yusuke was three levels higher than the rest of the party instead of being about five levels lower.

: The second time around, I try the intended strategy - hit the clones for their weakness, baton pass, and then use the maxed-out baton pass to do tons of damage.

: Unfortunately, I can’t get the baton pass to end up on Joker, and after a gay/lesbian high-five we wind up doing…

: Basically fuck-all for damage. Yusuke is like… at least three levels higher than he was in my base game run.

: Let me tell you, the baton pass strategy is fucking bunk. You don’t want to do that. Here’s what you want to do.

: You want to have each party member (except Ann) use their spells to knock down a clone, and then use a physical skill on Madarame. Fuck baton passing, that shit’s dumb. Besides which, the RNG can actually fuck you out of baton passing to begin with.

: The reason you don’t want to baton pass is because this shit can happen. While Madarame starts with clones of four different elements (Fire / Ice / Wind / Elec) he can summon multiple clones of the same element once the first wave is dealt with. Good luck baton passing that.

: The three fire clones quickly wipe out Yusuke with extra press turns, and at this point I’m like “Fuck it.”

: I stop even trying to pretend there’s a point to attacking the clones and just go all out on Madarame himself. Notice how Yusuke is doing almost as much damage with a single physical skill as he was with Bufu after three baton passes.

: I also just noticed that when it’s Yusuke’s turn, he does the infamous “check my dubs” pose from American Psycho on his status bar - look in the lower right.

: The wiki claims that if you kill the clones enough, Madarame starts summoning them with most of their HP already gone, or with status effects that stop them from acting right away. Fuck that shit.

: “No one cares for true art… all they want are easily recognizable brands! I’m a victim in this too! Wouldn’t you agree!?”

: I hate that I can read this in… dammit I don’t know what his name is, but the voiceactor for Huey in MGS5. His voice.

: “Excuses now?”

: “The art world revolves around money after all… you can’t rise up without any money. Yusuke, you understand, don’t you!? Being a poor artist is truly miserable!”

: “You’re done for - along with this whole wretched world!”

: “No, please! Just… don’t kill me!”

: God having this be the shadow is so fucking dumb. The sort of visceral thing with Yusuke grabbing Madarame just doesn’t fucking work when it’s a clone.

: “Return to yourself in reality and confess your crimes - all of them!”

: “Y-You’re not going to kill me?”

: “Swear it!”

: “Hm?”

: “A black mask? Wait, who’s he talking about?”

: “It can’t be… there was another intruder besides us within this Palace!?”

: There’s a line here that didn’t capture. It’s Madarame going “Hey, Yusuke… what should I do?”

: “…Put an end to all this and use your own artwork for once.”

: “Yusuke!”

: “It would be bad if people started getting suspicious of us. We should leave at once.”

: “Yusuke, c’mon.”

: “Right… goodbye, Sensei.”

: “Ugh, so bitter… why’d you get it black?”

: “The Sayuri…”

: “You’re not gonna get all teary-eyed and say stuff like “Mom…!” are you?”

: “To think that this painting was the source of Madarame’s distorted desires. The only saving grace is that my mother won’t know of what transpired…”

: “The genuine painting at his atelier has been altered, after all… ironic as it may be, this one here is her true self-portrait now.”

: The wiki mentions that there’s unused content which suggests that the painting was never actually finished before Yusuke’s mother died.

: “…It’s a wonderful painting. And… although it took some time, it’s in your hands now, Yusuke.”

: “…I’m thankful for it. However, it’s impossible for this painting to be acknowledged by society anymore…”

: “No. I doubt it’s the name of any woman in particular. I bet it was to make it more mysterious - just a part of Madarame’s foolish staging.”

: It’s funny he says that, because in the first Ace Attorney game, in the case where Phoenix cross-examines a parrot, the Japanese version has the parrot say “Sayuri” instead of “Polly” and everyone assumes that’s the parrot’s name.

: Besides, everyone knows that Yusuke is just Jun, so clearly his mother’s name is also Junko.

: “Well, it would’ve been obvious that he plagiarized it if he had used the real name.”

: “So this is my mother… there’s no way that I would remember her face clearly… but I was right about the rush of emotion I felt when I saw this painting.”

: “Stop that!”

: “You’re so vulgar, Ryuji.”

: “It’s to get back at scumbags and like… society in general? We also wanna give courage to the people that’re sufferin’ because of selfish adults.”

: I wish this game would touch on the fact that Ryuji is only in it because he gets to be a super-thief with superpowers.

: “Courage, hm… what good does that do? You mean the courage to stand up for themselves, correct? Will acquiring that make them happy?”

: “…Yeah. There’s no knowin’ whether it’ll turn out good for everyone or not. Still, we won’t know unless we give it a try.”

: “…In other words, it all depends on the person, hm? Then the same can be said about myself right now. I also suffered because of an adult’s selfish act.”

: This plot is so fucking dumb. Most of the party members in this game are 16 or 17 years old. They’re a year away from being adults themselves.

: “Moreover, if we investigate these Palaces, it may expand my artistic repertoire.”

: “You really only think about art, huh? You’re impressive.”

: “Well I won’t take part in any inelegant plans, all right?”

: “No worries! I’ve got us covered! Plus, we have a rule that says we always have to decide on a target unanimously.”

: “How about it, Joker? We can give our calling cards a lot more “oomph” if we have Yusuke on our team.”

: “I will try and live up to these expectations.”

: “At any rate, I’m curious… another intruder besides us, huh?”

: “Our only clue’s a black mask, so that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s just one person, right?”

: “But there’s no way to check anymore. The Palace is gone.”

: “I’ll try probing Madarame. I maybe able to learn something from this.”

: “Are you sure? I mean-”

: “I’ll contact you all if anything comes up.”

: “We should probably exchange our contact info with you then.”

: “An artist and a phantom thief… it seems I’ll be engaging in two trades from here on… very well. You only live once, after all.”

: So yeah, we’ve got a party consisting of a guy who’s really only in it because he gets to be a super-thief, a girl who’s in it because ??? and a guy whose entire motivation is #420yoloswag.

: “Still, the incident about this other intruder does concern me a little.”

: “Goodness, things are going so well!”

: “Hehe… could the day our name becomes common knowledge be nigh?”

: “But I have to say, you sure are something special. This is our fifth Persona-user. It’ll help broaden our battle strategies as well.”

: “Besides, having an eye for beauty is a must for phantom thieves. We’re lucky to have Yusuke. An artist is a talent you rarely come across. I mean, he IS a bit strange, but still…”

: “An artist, huh… what kind of person do you think I was? There’s no way I’d turn out to be some bad guy in the end, right? I get so engrossed with the embodiment of human desires…”

: “And that’s not all. When it comes to the Metaverse, I’m the only one who can transform into a car…”

: John Persona looks at him and goes “I could be a car” and then has Yusuke ride on his shoulders.

: “I’m special… but it’s still odd. Who could I actually be?”

: “Will you give it a rest!? That’s definitely not the case! sigh What a half-assed answer.”

: “Well, there’s no way a dashing, honorable rogue like me could be evil. A man who saves those in trouble in the west, while punishing evildoers who may lurk in the east! A man who chastises people that smoke inside in the south, while saving bullied cats in the north.”

: “A man who has a sturdy body and vows to always do one good deed a day, be it rain or shine. I’m that kind of ideal person… or so I hope.”

: “So if I turn back to being human… surely she’ll take notice of me, won’t she?”

: John Persona reaches for the “Cat is being horny for Ann again” air horn he keeps on his person at all times.

: “What do you think?”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPM6FFD2eCk

: I feel like they needed a “response” button where you could press it and John Persona would insert a line reading “Ann, the cat’s being horny for you again.”

: And that does it for this update. Next time, we’ll meet another person who is overly horny for Joker, eat a giant burger, and of course grip and sip.

[Timrod]

@SpammyV

I’d like to imagine after Fox spends so much time praising John Persona’s keen artistic senses that he’s able to remember which color the lady’s clothes are in the painting, John Persona just looks at him confused and goes “What do you mean the paintings were different?”

I actually spent so much time grinding that I kind of forgot.

[LaZodiac]

I’m conflicted on the changes to this boss fight. Having more “send your party members out to do schemes” segments is cool, but it is more… “interesting”, I guess, to have the emotion counterfeits? But at the same time it’s also just fighting his actual Shadow model and not a cool rad demon based on his twisted desires. It’s a lot to consider!

@Timrod

This plot is so fucking dumb. Most of the party members in this game are 16 or 17 years old. They’re a year away from being adults themselves.

Maybe we just have different understandings of this stuff for me at least, you’re not an adult until you’re 20 and even then you’re like, barely. I think 25 is around when you’ve experienced enough to really Be An Adult.

[Timrod]

@LaZodiac

I’m conflicted on the changes to this boss fight. Having more “send your party members out to do schemes” segments is cool, but it is more… “interesting”, I guess, to have the emotion counterfeits? But at the same time it’s also just fighting his actual Shadow model and not a cool rad demon based on his twisted desires. It’s a lot to consider!

See, I think what happened was that Atlus didn’t really understand why the original fight was kind of difficult. The original fight was hard because you had very limited ability to grind, especially if you were going for max confidants in one run. Kamoshida’s dungeon really didn’t have enemies that were easy to kill without taking damage. This kind of snowballed into Madarame’s dungeon, and so when you got to Madarame there was a good chance that the opening salvo would kill at least one person.

In Royal, that’s all different because most enemies in Kamoshida’s dungeon can be killed without taking damage or spending SP, and you’re naturally going to be overlevelled if you go for all confidants.

My guess is they probably did it for all the people who had to replay the entire game to see the new content for Royal.

[SpammyV]

The next time Morgana starts getting too horny I’m just going to imagine John Persona hitting play on the DVD player and turning up the volume on Upper Gun or Marageddon to drown Morgana out.

wait why does the cat have a code name they’re a cat they don’t have ID no one outside the mind palace is going to believe the cat is stealing their secrets

[LaZodiac]

Morgana is under the impression he has a human form that requires an identity to keep safe, one day.

[drcakey]

I’d say something incisive, but I already said

@drcakey

to fix it you’d have to tear out everything and start over from the beginning.

three weeks ago, and that kind of covers everything.

Atlus give me a 20 million dollars and I’ll make Persona 6 it will be much better. It won’t sell as well. And it won’t do as well critically either. But in some numinous way it will be much better I promise trust me.

[andromeda]

Oof, these new changes just look tedious. Just reading through this boss mechanic just made me tired and want to go to bed early.

Both Ryuji and Ann are written to be kind of really, really stupid at times, like, stupid to the point of farce and it really annoys me when their extremely stupid moments show up. It makes me miss the hell out of Eikichi and his dumb, narcissistic self, because he was still compelling and interesting as a character. Ryuji and Ann just make me utterly annoyed when they act stupid.

You also put into words why the shadow confrontations in P5 annoyed me: None of these people are real! You’re yelling at things which don’t really exist, and the people those shadows belong to don’t even realise you’re doing it. It just feels strange to watch these people get mad at essentially imaginary friends.

damn it persona 5.

[LaZodiac]

@drcakey

Atlus give me a 20 million dollars and I’ll make Persona 6 it will be much better. It won’t sell as well. And it won’t do as well critically either. But in some numinous way it will be much better I promise trust me.

Hell give ME 20 million dollars and I WILL make a critically acclaimed P6. Do it Atlus, cowards!

@andromeda

You also put into words why the shadow confrontations in P5 annoyed me: None of these people are real! You’re yelling at things which don’t really exist, and the people those shadows belong to don’t even realise you’re doing it. It just feels strange to watch these people get mad at essentially imaginary friends.

Eeeh… there’s some support that says that the Shadow is cognizant of the real world and vice versa. Whenever you send the calling card and the person flashes to their Shadow self, and how the specifics ordered to the Shadow gets translated to the flesh when they confess. I don’t think it’s as pointless as it could be.

That being said it would be better if it was more clearly them so they’d get the shouting down they deserve.

[Timrod]

Click Here for Update 23

: I forgot to mention what we did at night on 5/25. The answer was crafting, and this was done for a specific purpose - so that we could hit Proficiency 3 in time for a couple of upcoming events.

: No! You were supposed to take Morgana to horny jail, not me!

: “You are now one step closer to your rehabilitation. It’s a delightful thing indeed.”

: “Our master is pleased. You should be honored, inmate.”

: “However, that man’s remarks are concerning. It seems another has made their way into the Metaverse.”

: “That is beyond my knowledge… but your rehabilitation is progressing smoothly… that is for certain. May the devotion to your rehabilitation grow even deeper. I have high hopes for you.”

: We reach Rank 4, which does fuck all except give us more bonus EXP when fusing Fool arcana Personas.

: “I’m calling about Madarame’s state. For the time being, he hasn’t suffered a mental shutdown. Other than that, his demeanor seems to have softened a bit. Is that the change of heart?”

: “I see… I was curious and looked into Kamoshida as well. It’s as if he was an entirely different person. Will the same be true for Sensei?”

: “…I’m sorry to have taken your time. That’s all I wanted to tell you. Good- Oh. I’ll try asking him about the black-masked intruder from the Palace when the time is right.”

: I’m not entirely sure why he’d even bother, given that Madarame doesn’t know what happened in his brain dungeon.

: “Goodbye then. This time for sure.”

: This is the game’s not-so-subtle way of letting us know we can start Yoshida’s confidant today. We will be doing that.

: Got that, Andrew Allanson?

: What’s funny is I almost guarantee he played this before YIIK released and still plagiarized anyway.

: “It’s so annoying dealing with copyright crap these days… oh yeah, did you know this? You know the Arsene Lupin series by Maurice Leblanc?”

: “Leblanc once had a famous detective character from another series appear in one of the Lupin stories. Now then… Kurusu-kun. Do you know which author Leblanc borrowed from?”

: I do! I do! I actually know this one without having to look it up! It’s what makes his estate a bunch of hypocrites!

: Let’s do the wrong ones first. Gaston Leroux was a French journalist and author who is most famous for writing The Phantom of the Opera in 1910.

: Edgar Wallace was a British writer who is mostly known for writing the script to King Kong.

: “Oh, do you like mystery novels? Yes, the answer is the author of Sherlock Holmes, Arthur Conan Doyle.”

: “It was the ultimate showdown between the definitive gentleman thief and the famous detective.”

: It’s several hundred pages of Arsene Lupin fucking clowning on Holmes and ends with Holmes nearly catching him but Lupin ultimately winning.

: “Apparently, Leblanc changed the name of his version of Sherlock Holmes when Doyle complained. He changed it to “Herlock Sholmes.” He just moved the S to the start of his last name.”

: This is true. I bought an anthology of Lupin stories, and Lupin vs. Herlock was in it. What’s funny is that the edition I have half-asses it so you’ll see Holmes referred to by his proper name half the time.

: I should mention as well that Leblanc’s estate sued TMS (the production company for Lupin III) when they attempted to bring Lupin III to the west. Fuck those assholes.

: This ranks up our knowledge, which we will absolutely need soon.

: “Both Lupin and Holmes would go on to appear in a number of other works… but those were homages, not plagiarism.”

: “Now, Arsene Lupin is synonymous with the idea of a ‘phantom thief’. He’s recognized all over the world.”

: “Wow, it looks like some phantom thieves never go out of style!”

: John Persona looks at his cat and goes “Those were the horny police, coming to take you to horny jail.”

: “Hey, what’s that supposed to mean!? I was in serious trouble, you know!”

: “Some girl had this crazy look in her eyes, and she was chasing me around, calling me a ‘snowball’ or something…”

: When exactly was he away from Joker long enough for this to happen?

: “I wonder if she’s been going after other cats and snatching them up like she tried with me… try checking the Phan-Site and see if anyone’s saying anything about it.”

: “Hmm, maybe it’s just not a well-known problem yet? The only victims are cats, so I suppose that could be the case. Let’s try asking around in Yongen and see if we can find the culprit.”

: And now we have to investigate the stupid kidnapping. I hope we’re doing this so we can give Morgana to the kidnappers and then get Elly in the party. I’d settle for Tatsuya or Yukino.

: “A bunch of cats…? Hey, she might be talking about that catnapping case. Let’s ask her for more information.”

: John Persona hands her Morgana. “Here. You can have this cat. Be sure to blast this air horn at him every five minutes.”

: My cat does both of those things. All the time. Even at 5AM, when the bastard knows I’m trying to sleep.

: “Hmm… doesn’t look like we can learn anything else from her. Let’s get out of here and go over what we know so far.”

: “So here’s what we learned from that mother and child… this ‘Aino’ lady suddenly adopted a lot of cats. There’s concern about the noise at night and shedding. The cats might be acting that way because they’re stressed.”

: They’re acting that way because ‘Aino’ is an alias for Claire Redfield, and Chris comes pounding on the door every night begging her to get with Leon.

: “Leon, you have to do something! My sister just got another cat, and she named this one Albert Whisker! Leon!”

: We also have to talk to this guy. I’ll cut some of the dialog because a lot of it is just stuff we already know.

: “Not only are other cats suffering, but she’s also hurting people too… the Aino household was the one that suddenly got a lot of cats, right? That’s got to be our target.”

: Before we go spend time with Ryuji, we have one last thing to do, and that’s change books at the library.

: Remember how when we studied in the library during the Kamoshida arc, we got 3 knowledge and 2 guts instead of 5 knowledge? Yeah, we can’t do that anymore. The school library is basically pointless now.

: “It’s pay per visit, so you don’t gotta worry about any bullshit contracts or nothing.”

: “The equipment’s kinda crappy, but they got tons of variety. Plus, it’s real damn cheap. Totally worth it, even without a pool or hot tub.”

: “Oh yeah! You bring your stuff?”

: It is incredibly fucking dumb that there is a “correct” choice here. The bottom option is worth 3 points, the top only 2. I picked the wrong one the first time, which would be a permafuck had I not immediately noticed it.

: “Hell yeah, man. If you wanna beef up, you gotta - wait, that ain’t it!”

: “I’m talkin’ about spare undies! Gettin’ back into your sweaty clothes after a nice hot shower is like, the grossest goddamn thing.”

: “…Oh, but don’t get your hopes up. No way I’m gonna let you use mine. Anyways, let’s head in.”

: “Phew… my form’s… comin’ back… but I don’t got… any stamina…”

: I mean, obviously the Scout from TF2. I seriously have like a dozen of these that people on the old 4chan TF2 servers made that never got put on YouTube, plus some that were.

: “I’ve been tryin’ to come up with some cool new slang. Maybe it’ll catch on!”

: Is this one of those Volvic YTPs in game form?

: “Him? He’s, uh… a friend! By the time he showed up, the track team was already… well, y’know.”

: He says this like Joker’s his boyfriend and he’s embarrassed to say it.

: “Eh, I’m managin’… how ‘bout you, Senpai? You still runnin’?”

: “About that, I’m real sorry…”

: “That’s ‘cause you needed him to write your letter of rec, right? You were just lookin’ out for your future… but I still managed to eff it up anyways.”

: “Senpai…”

: “For real!?”

: “…Nobody told me about that.”

: “Yamauchi…? Hold up, THAT Yamauchi!?”

: “He is?”

: “…Yeah.”

: “Good for them.”

: “Nah, not really… for real though, I’m glad the team’s comin’ back. It’s sweet that Nakaoka and them can start trainin’ again.”

: “But I’m still worried 'bout their advisor, Yamauchi. He’s basically like a mini-Kamoshida.”

: He only kicked a box of puppies and didn’t flip them off first.

: “Basically. He’d always yell at us at practice, but then be a huge kiss-ass when our parents were around.”

: “Ugh, I can’t believe a moron like that’s gonna be advisin’ the track team. He doesn’t even teach PE!”

: “…He’s gotta be up to something. I’ll do some research… there’s a chance I’m gonna need your help too, mkay?”

: You might notice that Ryuji’s entire confidant is very Kamoshida-centric. This is because of some weird planning on Atlus’s part. As far as I know, it’s actually possible to get him to Rank 9 before you even go to the museum the first time.

: The LP of the base game on the archive does this, and that’s why I didn’t back down when that person started an LP of this game after I did - we’re going for 100% and doing that would be a permafuck due to not having enough time to get Dr. Femdom to the level we need her at before the third dungeon.

: “All right, we don’t got time to be messin’ around here anymore! Let’s head home! Wait, I gotta shower first!”

: We already established this! Also have this one.

: “About that stuff today… I can’t really let myself be happy about the track team startin’ up again.”

: “Like I said earlier, there’s just somethin’ fishy about Yamauchi bein’ the advisor. But I mean, if anything happens, I know you got my back. So I ain’t too worried!”

: “Thanks, man! I knew I could count on you! I mean, we don’t know for sure if anythin’ sketchy’s goin’ on. But when I get these gut feelings… they’re usually right.”

: “Well, if I hear anything, I’ll hit you up. Okay, later!”

: He is, and we’re going there. But first…

: Not only is there a crossword, there’s also the TV quiz show.

: I looked this one up just to see if I’d get any results that weren’t guides to this game, and surprisingly I did. What the game doesn’t mention is that most of the time, that phrase was used to justify things like the Salem Witch Trials.

: “I’m surprised you knew that. Did you just guess? Torture, though - that’s pretty brutal.”

: Yoshida always says the same three lines when you talk to him, so I’ll just skip them.

: “I’d love to help you though… how shall I teach you? …It’s time for my speech. Let’s talk about this later.”

: “They lack jobs, security, savings… the next generation will lead us into the future and yet they have no plan for how to arrive there.”

: “Yes, let’s.”

: “No…! T-that was… all in the past…”

: “Yes, but I cannot say that to the crowd before an election. Regardless, whenever someone calls me ‘No-Good Tora’, I panic.”

: “I went through quite an ordeal 20 years ago… let me explain. I used to be a member of the National Diet. I was elected during the rise of the ‘Kuramoto Children’. We were backed by powerful Diet members.”

: Weirdly, this is something that Atlus made up wholesale and has no relation to actual Japanese politics, so far as I can tell.

: “This was about 20 years ago. I was very inexperienced back then, both as a politician, as well as a human being.”

: “That inexperience led me to be involved in a series of major political scandals. People refer to my blunders as ‘No-Good Tora’s Three Strikes’.”

: “The first was being caught missing a legislative meeting to take a personal vacation. Then, I was accused of embezzling a large sum of money from the party… giving me two strikes.”

: What’s funny is that in Connecticut, we actually have a politician who was convicted on multiple corruption charges who is now the mayor of Bridgeport. No, I’m not making that up.

: The best part is that there’s apparently still an active FBI investigation into an entirely new set of corruption charges now that he’s mayor again. Who would’ve guessed?

: “Finally, I called a voter an idiot at an open forum which resulted in scandal… and strike three.”

: “I was out… and branded a washed-up politician. You said you wanted to become a member of the Diet. But do you see the man before you?”

: We uh, never said that.

: He could probably run for mayor of Hartford. They’d take him. Hell, he could even run for governor. Some of our longest-serving governors have been proven corrupt.

: If that doesn’t work, he could try running for state treasurer (alternate link).

: “I’m happy to hear that, however… everyone says I have no chance to get elected, so why come to me?”

: “You’re doing a good job of cheering me up… but you may be right. The most important part about giving a speech is believing in yourself. Perhaps one day, I will believe in myself… again.”

: “But you sure got me there. You’re a strange young man, Kurusu-kun. Very well. If learning how to give a great speech is what you seek, then I’d be happy to instruct you.”

: “In exchange, I would like for you to continue assisting me. Let’s get started, shall we?”

: You didn’t really think we’d get away without a dumbass Sae scene, did you?

: Someone had to have taught you how to speak a language! You couldn’t have broken into a museum without knowing how to read! Who? I want names!

: Rank 1 gets us fuck all, but I think at Rank 2 or 4 we get an ability from Yoshida that doubles the amount of money we get in negotiations. Surprisingly, that’s not the best way to farm money.

: The best way? Use Pulinpa and confuse a higher-level enemy, which gives them a chance every turn of dropping a huge amount of money.

: “…Oh my, we’ve been talking for far too long. Let’s call it quits for today.”

: “Ah, Kurusu-kun! I’m sorry, there’s something I forgot to mention. It’s about my speech schedules from this point on. Would you be willing to stick around to hear it?”

: “Quite a practical young man, eh? Well, I won’t take up too much of your time. I’ll be here giving my speeches every Sunday. You’re welcome to drop by and help whenever you’ve got the time.”

: “That’s all I wanted to say. Now, be careful on your way home.”

: “Madarame’s ill, but the exhibit is still going strong. I can’t respect him as my sensei anymore… but it’s sad to think I don’t have a mentor anymore…”

: “Talk…? To you? Now that I think about it, I don’t believe I’ve ever had someone I could simply talk to. Well, perhaps I may need a sounding board sometime. I hope you’ll humor me then.”

: This is the game telling you that Yusuke’s confidant is now available. We won’t be touching it until near the end of June.

: “I need your help with something. I found this flyer stuffed in my mailbox.”

: “A maid, dude! A MAID! Who’ll do ANYTHING for us! Right? …Right??”

: Welcome to what is undoubtedly the horniest part of the game, and also the source of the best confidant in the game. Not necessarily writing-wise (it’s definitely not) but in terms of what it gives us.

: “…You’re a guy, right? You know what I mean! Let’s give it a try! Yeah? Yeah!”

: I’m not sure whether this scene is better if you assume Joker is gay, or whether you assume he’s straight/bi but has just had enough of this shit with everyone around him being constantly horny.

: “Luckily, some guy on my floor just moved out so there’s a vacant apartment in my complex. The key is behind the mailbox, so we can get in anytime. The landlord seriously doesn’t care.”

: “The place is all set, so…”

: “…Get in on this?”

: “Oh-ho! You mean you’re into this kinda stuff? Wow! Okaaay…”

: Just like Kurt Eichenwald, right?

: “What does it mean that they’ll do ‘anything’? And do the maids look exactly as they’re advertised? We need to determine whether or not this company just pretends to offer housekeeping services!”

: I feel like we need to get Sae in here. “You call yourself a warrior of justice, but you’re just horny, aren’t you? Someone had to have taught you how to be horny! You couldn’t simply have been horny yourself!”

: “I-I… just want to punish the bad guys! And in order to do that, I have to see it with my own eyes.”

: Seeing it as “punishing the bad guys” is a very uh… strange way to view masturbation.

: “Yeah, we gotta see it with our own eyes. Every little detail… we’ll hafta do this at night, so let us know when you’re ready.”

: We’re doing this tonight, because we get bonus points for it.

: “So what’s the code name for this operation…? Hmm… since we’ll be watching them, it should be something like… ‘Operation Maidwatch’!”

: “Nice! I like that!”

: First though, we have to see a very different horny person, that being Dr. Femdom.

: “If you’re feeling okay, you can go home now.”

: “…What? Again? That’s, well… that ship’s already sailed, so…”

:* sigh * “…What a pain.”

: “Her dad’s been bringing her here to be treated, even though I referred them to another hospital. I even told them about the medical error I made…”

: It’s very strange to me that a choice like the one we saw at the start of Ryuji’s last confidant event matters, but this one doesn’t.

: “Uh… the medical error was well-documented. Everyone in my field knows about it.”

: “I led the development of a new drug for an incurable illness called ‘Crawford-Ende’s disease.’ Although I wasn’t the one who administered the medicine, it was the cause of the error.”

: “With Crawford-Ende’s, certain cells indiscriminately attack other cells throughout the body. When it reaches the muscles, the patient slowly begins to die.”

: “There hasn’t been much progress made on it - partly because there haven’t been many cases of it. I worked with a pharmaceutical company that had reached the final stage of production, but…”

: “One day, I was suddenly removed from my position. The Chief of Staff Oyamada, my superior at the time, took over the entire operation.”

: “I don’t know if he wanted the glory of developing a new drug or to become rich and famous, but… he made careless mistakes and rushed completion so he could use it on a patient named Miwa.”

: This is going to be a running theme throughout the game, by the way. Nothing any of our confidants does wrong is ever their fault.

: “Miwa-chan had a reaction and lapsed into critical condition. The chief panicked and laid the blame on me. Miwa-chan and her family resented me… no matter what I said, I couldn’t change how they felt about me.”

: This choice? Also doesn’t matter.

: “Well, that doesn’t matter… the development of the medicine was suspended, so I had no reason to stay at that hospital. At least now I can keep working as a general practitioner, on my own terms… with my guinea pig.”

: “That’s the new medicine I’ve been trying out on you. This version is in the final stage of testing. It searches for those cells that take the offensive and destroys them upon detection.”

: “That’s why it’s harmless for people who don’t have the disease… probably.”

: And then John Persona was a zombie.

: “You have a lot of faith in me. Thank you, my little guinea pig. You’d better not flake on me this late in the game. I’m inching closer to the finish line, but I need your help to reach it.”

: “In exchange, I can offer you medicine at a special price. I’m counting on you, guinea pig.”

: We can now purchase Tae’s accessories, which we’ll be using for the rest of the game. Unfortunately, they’re too expensive right now - we’ll get them at Rank 7 in a few weeks.

: “It’s been a while since I’ve had to deal with this kind of nuisance. It’s stressing me out. …Oh, sorry, that’s all I wanted to talk to you about. You can go home now.”

: “Also, sorry for the long talk today. I wasn’t planning on telling you all that.”

: “Yeah. You’re the first person I’ve really shared all that with. But… it was also a good reminder. This is something I have to do, as the Plague.”

: “Thanks to you, the drug’s development is progressing very smoothly. If there are no issues with this latest sample, I think we’re right on the edge of finally finishing it…”

: “…Oh, sorry, looks like I’ve got a patient. Maybe that girl and her dad came back. I have to go. See you later.”

: “I had pretty high hopes for them, but they turned out to be posers… the Phantom Thieves are true heroes though! I wanna help out however I can!”

: “So, we’re executing Operation Maidwatch tonight for sure, right?”

: “Sweet! I’ve been waiting for this!”

: That’s Akihiko’s line.

: “Wait, you already changed out of your uniform!? I guess that’s a pretty good idea… we’re meeting over at Sakamoto’s place, right? Let’s stop by mine beforehand so I can change too.”

: “Operation Maidwatch, bro!”

: “If it turns out to be sketchy, we can just bail. The apartment’s vacant, so it’s not like we’ll be messing with anyone’s home.”

: I’m only picking that one because it gives you three points to Ryuji’s confidant.

: “Yeah, yeah, I know.”

: “To think… Sakamoto has a brain. But if that’s the case, then…”

: “Then…”

: “Yep!”

: “Okay, give 'em a call!”

: “Well, I guess he could do it too. Okay, go for it, Mishima.”

: “M-Me!? I-I’m not good with that kind stuff! Seriously! Please, Kurusu!”

: “They answered!”

: “Shhh!”

: “S-Services…!”

: “Anyone we want to request!? What should we do, Akira!?”

: “Shit… this is really happening…”

: “A maid’s ‘services’… hey, what should we have her do? I was thinking we start with some cooking… of course, I wouldn’t mind some of the other services either…”

: Joker looks at them and goes “I’m going to ask her to spray you both with a fire hose until you stop being so horny.”

: “…Should we hold a strategy meeting to discuss?”

: “They said 20 minutes, right…? Ugh, I gotta use the bathroom.”

: “I-It’s almost time… you were in there for a while… are you okay? Hey, did you wash your hands?”

: “… Huh? What? Who? Me?”

: “Y-You’re really nervous… ahaha… haha… uh…”

: “Are high school students even allowed to use this type of service?”

: “Huh?”

: “What do you mean, ‘Huh’? You should’ve researched it! What if they find out who we are!?”

: “H-How should I know!? But why would how old you are matter when it comes to housekeeping?”

: “We would’ve been screwed if your number had shown up on their caller ID…”

: “What!? Already!? She’s five minutes early! What do we do!? I’m not mentally prepared!”

: You want the maid!? You can’t handle the maid!

: “I-I can’t do this! My stomach’s actin’ up! And my hands are all sweaty! Okay, you handle the rest… and don’t let her find out you’re a high school student.”

: The gay Joker is thinking entirely about Yusuke in a maid outfit. The straight/bi Joker is preparing to unleash roughly a month and a half of everyone around him being horny.

: Gay Joker picks the second option just to see if Yusuke is secretly a maid. None of the choices matter for this one.

: Anyway, meet Becky. She’s our newest confidant, and also the most important one.

: Gay Joker turns and goes “Yeah, I need you to clean out my closet. My boyfriend’s in there.”

: And then Joker was Kazuma Kiryu.

: You might ask why I’m not using a dialog portrait for Becky, and trust me, I will. Just give it a minute.

: So much for codename discipline.

: Surprise! Becky is Kawakami. You haven’t seen the real terror yet though, and won’t until we get to the actual confidant event. This isn’t it - this just unlocks the ability to do it.

: “This is our first meeting. Yes, the first time ever, Master. <3”

: “Ugh… this is unbelievable… yes, it’s me… your homeroom teacher. …I’m so done. I can’t believe I got caught by some of my own students…”

: “I should’ve taken a job outside of the city. But I needed it to be close to school so I could go there after I finished work. …Who did you hear about this from?”

: “Ms. Chouno, the English teacher… she’s been snooping on all the teachers ever since that incident with Mr. Kamoshida. …Are you going to tell Ms. Chouno about this?”

: Have I mentioned that we can have Joker date Kawakami? That’s one of the ways this can end up. In fact, I’ll probably need to do a poll at the end of this update because that is how fast we max out her confidant.

: “Hmm… it doesn’t seem like you’re playing dumb… in any case, I’ll get in big trouble if you tell on me. … Hey, if you’re going to side with a teacher, side with me. I’m in charge of your class, after all.”

: “And if you promise not to tell Ms. Chouno about this, I’ll do anything for you!”

: I really don’t like that there’s no option to just be like “Whatever.”

: “This isn’t even your home address to begin with, is it? I guess you at least thought about that. Well, I’ll promise to keep this a secret too… so why don’t we both forget this ever happened?”

: “I’ll treat this as if you had canceled, so you won’t have to pay anything. Okay?”

: “On that note, I’ll be leaving! Don’t say anything about this at school, okay!? Just act as if nothing ever happened! Got it? Okay, bye!”

: I know the update’s getting a little long, but we’re going to do the 28th because there’s a bunch of very long cutscenes coming up - including one that was added for Royal on the 30th.

: “Kawakami’s been driven into a corner by Chouno! Let’s talk to her to we can help her out.”

: “As I’ve been saying… get home safely, Kurusu-kun. Well then, I have another matter to attend to, so I have to excuse myself…”

: “No! We’re not finished talking yet!”

: “But I…”

: “There’s been a series of scandals on this campus. We’re all being called into question. And yet you leave work earlier than anyone - and you barely make it to the faculty meetings!”

: “Explain yourself! Don’t tell me you’re out running around at night!?”

: “Kawakami’s being grilled by Chouno. She said she’d do anything if we helped her out, so let’s clear up Chouno’s suspicions.”

: “The school’s closing soon, Mr. Kurusu. Head on home before it gets late. Or did you need something from Ms. Kawakami?”

: “…What?”

: “Another question?”

: “Th-that’s right! Kurusu-kun’s questions are complicated, so I take time at night to help him…”

: “So you’re giving individual lessons outside of school hours, hm? What passion! You are the ideal teacher! A passionate teacher is exactly what we need at this school. I’m sorry for suspecting you.”

: “Well then, keep up the hard work, you two.”

: “She just kind of convinced herself… but that did clear up her suspicion, so… thanks. Could you come with me for a bit?”

: “This is the address and phone number of my night job.”

: “Call at night and request me. Just be careful that it doesn’t show up in your call history though, okay?”

: “Yeah, you did it! No call history means a public telephone. Let’s call from Leblanc’s yellow phone. Let’s call Kawakami when you’re free, and invite her to meet you at your room!”

: Joker immediately reaches for the air horn.

: “Okay, I have to go.”

: We’ll see it in the next update, but calling Kawakami costs 5000 yen. This is one of the reasons I had to grind so much money. Next up is Ann.

: “This place seriously feels amazing. It’s not even that far from Shibuya, but it feels so different here. You know, Tokyo is so strange. There are tons of people and tons of stores, yet there are still duck-filled parks here too.”

: “It has everything… but it feels like I can’t understand any of it. It’s honestly kinda scary.”

: “Oh, right. You only just moved here, Akira. When I first got here, I had a super tough time adjusting. It’s so crowded, and everyone walks really fast… like they’re angry or something.”

: "Even at school, I was only ever the ‘foreigner’. Nobody really knew me; they just spread rumors. I thought maybe my looks were the problem. I even considered dyeing my hair black to match everyone else…’

: Most foreigners are gaijin. Ann is a gaij-ann.

: "But that was when Shiho talked to me. The first thing she said was ‘Takamaki-san, your paintings suck.’ "

: All of the answers here count, by the way.

: “I thought she was just making fun of me like everyone else, but that wasn’t her intention. According to her, they were so bad that she just HAD to tell me. Pretty mean, huh?”

: “Still, that was the first time someone here talked to me without mentioning my looks. We sorta just grew closer after that… and Shiho’s been my best friend ever since.”

: Do you see what I mean when I say Ann’s confidant is as much about Shiho as it is about her?

: “That’s not why we’re here though! There’s something else I need to talk to you about! Do you remember what I told you the last time we came here? About the female thief in the anime I used to watch? Well, I thought of something!”

: “You know how the villains in those shows are always going on about world domination? Well, even though they get beaten by the heroes every time, they never give up.”

: “That means they must have really solid hearts… and that’s why I’m going to try and learn from them!”

: RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR YOUR HEARTS! RIP AND TEAR!

: “Right? So I’ve decided… I’m gonna star in action movies!”

: “Thanks! Your support really helps! All right, I’m making this my ultimate goal for the future. You know, I’ve never really thought about what I wanted to do in life… but now I have an objective!”

: “And that only happened because of talking to you, Akira! Thanks!”

: This is a new ability that was added in Royal. I have no idea how well it works.

: “Well, if I want to be in action movies, I’ll need to work on my actions! I wonder how many sit-ups I’ll have to do…”

: “Wait, Ryuji said he knows a good gym! I should ask him for advice! Oh, and I need to tell Shiho that I have a new goal! She’ll definitely be happy to hear that!”

: “So I’d like to think I’m pretty athletic. Like, I don’t hate exercise or anything… but I’m exhausted just from running to the station earlier. Maybe I’ve gotta train my body along with my heart.”

: “Do you do anything to train your body?”

: “So that’s pretty much your lifestyle? You don’t, like… do squats in class or anything, right? …Oof, my thighs are hurting just thinking about it.”

: “Okay, first I need to research what kind of training’s best for me! For now, I’ll just do some curls with a water bottle. I already drank it halfway, but… better than nothing, right?”

: What is she, Spongebob?

: She did, but it’s BURGER TIME.

: The burger challenge gets you 2 points in guts if you can’t finish it, or 2 points in everything if you do.

: There’s three levels of burger, and each one requires higher levels of Knowledge, Proficiency, and Guts. The first one requires I think level 2 in all of them.

: I have to wonder if the girl behind Joker is meant to look like Tamaki or not. She obviously can’t be Tamaki, because Tamaki is in her mid-40s at this point. Most of the SMT If and P1 cast are.

: I could eat that burger without even trying.

: For doing this, we get a stat increase, an accessory (I forget what it does) and a couple of healing items. Not bad for 500 yen.

: This also ranks up Guts to 3.

: This is our first instance of a text event where you’re forced to choose right away. If you choose right away to go, you get a bonus point to any related confidants - in this case we’d get it for both Ann and Ryuji.

: You’ll notice that we haven’t yet gotten to a point where I’ve had to do a confidant but not get a rank-up out of it. This is how we manage that.

: Naturally, I choose to go right away. This unlocks Harajuku as a destination.

: Next time, we’ll see Kawakami turn into a horrible anime gremlin, start a new confidant, go baneposting, and then re-visit Mementos and maybe grind some more money.